Act II, Scene II — [4053]…

Act II, Scene II — [4053]

[Enter] ALLWORTH, Waiting Woman, Chambermaid, ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE, and WATCHALL.

Woman. Could you not command your leisure one hour longer?

Cham. Or half an hour?

All. I have told you what my haste is: Besides, being now another’s, not mine own, Howe’er I much desire to enjoy you longer, My duty suffers, if, to please myself, 5 I should neglect my lord.

Woman. Pray you do me the favour To put these few quince-cakes into your pocket; They are of mine own preserving.

Cham. And this marmalade; ’T is comfortable for your stomach.

Woman. And, at parting, Excuse me if I beg a farewell from you. 10

Cham. You are still before me. I move the same suit, sir. [ALLWORTH] kisses them severally.

Furn. How greedy these chamberers are of a beardless chin! I think the tits[4054] will ravish him.

All. My service To both.

Woman. Ours waits on you.

Cham. And shall do ever.

Ord. You are my lady’s charge, be therefore careful 15 That you sustain your parts.

Woman. We can bear, I warrant you.

Exeunt W. Woman and Chambermaid.

Furn. Here, drink it off; the ingredients are cordial, And this the true elixir; it hath boil’d Since midnight for you. ’T is the quintessence Of five cocks of the game, ten dozen of sparrows, 20 Knuckles of veal, potato-roots and marrow, Coral and ambergris. Were you two years older, And I had a wife, or gamesome mistress, I durst trust you with neither. You need not bait After this, I warrant you, though your journey ’s long; 25 You may ride on the strength of this till tomorrow morning.

All. Your courtesies overwhelm me: I much grieve To part from such true friends; and yet find comfort, My attendance on my honourable lord, Whose resolution holds to visit my lady, 30 Will speedily bring me back.

Knocking at the gate.

Mar. (within.) Dar’st thou venture further?

Well. (within.) Yes, yes, and knock again.

Ord. ’T is he; disperse!

Amb. Perform it bravely.

Furn. I know my cue, ne’er doubt me. Exeunt [all but ALLWORTH].

[Enter WATCHALL, ceremoniously introducing WELLBORN and MARRALL.]

Watch. Beast that I was, to make you stay! Most welcome; 34 You were long since expected.

Well. Say so much To my friend, I pray you.

Watch. For your sake, I will, sir.

Mar. For his sake!

Well. Mum; this is nothing.

Mar. More than ever I would have believ’d, though I had found it in my primer.

All. When I have given your reasons for my late harshness, You ’ll pardon and excuse me; for, believe me, 40 Though now I part abruptly, in my service I will deserve it.

Mar. Service! with a vengeance!

Well. I am satisfied: farewell, Tom.

All. All joy stay with you! Exit.

Re-enter AMBLE.

Amb. You are happily encounter’d; I yet never Presented one so welcome as I know 45 You will be to my lady.

Mar. This is some vision, Or, sure, these men are mad, to worship a dunghill; It cannot be a truth.

Well. Be still a pagan, An unbelieving infidel; be so, miscreant, And meditate on “blankets, and on dog-whips!” 50

Re-enter FURNACE.

Furn. I am glad you are come; until I know your pleasure I knew not how to serve up my lady’s dinner.

Mar. His pleasure! is it possible?

Well. What ’s thy will?

Furn. Marry, sir, I have some grouse, and turkey chicken, Some rails[4055] and quails, and my lady will’d me ask you, 55 What kind of sauces best affect your palate, That I may use my utmost skill to please it.

Mar. [Aside.] The devil ’s enter’d this cook. Sauce for his palate! That, on my knowledge, for almost this twelve-month, Durst wish but cheese-parings and brown bread on Sundays. 60

Well. That way I like ’em best.

Furn. It shall be done, sir. Exit.

Well. What think you of “the hedge we shall dine under?” Shall we feed gratis?

Mar. I know not what to think; Pray you make me not mad.

Re-enter ORDER.

Ord. This place becomes you not; 64 Pray you walk, sir, to the dining room.

Well. I am well here, Till her ladyship quits her chamber.

Mar. Well here, say you? ’T is a rare change! But yesterday you thought Yourself well in a barn, wrapp’d up in peas-straw.

Re-enter Waiting Woman and Chambermaid.

Woman. O! sir, you are wish’d for.

Cham. My lady dreamt, sir, of you.

Woman. And the first command she gave, after she rose, 70 Was (her devotions done) to give her notice When you approach’d here.

Cham. Which is done, on my virtue.

Mar. I shall be converted; I begin to grow Into a new belief, which saints nor angels 74 Could have won me to have faith in.

Woman. Sir, my lady!

Enter LADY ALLWORTH.

L. All. I come to meet you, and languish’d till I saw you. This first kiss is for form; I allow a second To such a friend. [Kisses WELLBORN.]

Mar. To such a friend! Heaven bless me!

Well. I am wholly yours; yet, madam, if you please To grace this gentleman with a salute—— 80

Mar. Salute me at his bidding!

Well. I shall receive it As a most high favour.

L. All. Sir, you may command me. [Advances to kiss MARRALL, who retires.]

Well. Run backward from a lady! and such a lady!

Mar. To kiss her foot is, to poor me, a favour I am unworthy of. Offers to kiss her foot.

L. All. Nay, pray you rise; 85 And since you are so humble, I ’ll exalt you. You shall dine with me to-day, at mine own table.

Mar. Your ladyship’s table! I am not good enough To sit at your steward’s board.

L. All. You are too modest; I will not be deni’d.

Re-enter FURNACE.

Furn. Will you still be babbling 90 Till your meat freeze on the table? The old trick still; My art ne’er thought on!

L. All. Your arm, Master Wellborn:—— Nay, keep us company. [To MARRALL.]

Mar. I was ne’er so grac’d.

Exeunt WELLBORN, LADY ALLWORTH, AMBLE, MARRALL, W. Woman, [and Chambermaid.]

Ord. So! we have play’d our parts, and are come off well; But if I know the mystery, why my lady 95 Consented to it, or why Master Wellborn Desir’d it, may I perish!

Furn. Would I had The roasting of his heart that cheated him, And forces the poor gentleman to these shifts! By fire! for cooks are Persians, and swear by it, 100 Of all the griping and extorting tyrants I ever heard or read of, I ne’er met A match to Sir Giles Overreach.

Watch. What will you take To tell him so, fellow Furnace?

Furn. Just as much As my throat is worth, for that would be the price on ’t. 105 To have a usurer that starves himself, And wears a cloak of one and twenty years On a suit of fourteen groats, bought of the hangman, To grow rich, and then purchase, is too common; But this Sir Giles feeds high, keeps many servants, 110 Who must at his command do any outrage; Rich in his habit, vast in his expenses; Yet he to admiration[4056] still increases In wealth and lordships.

Ord. He frights men out of their estates, And breaks through all law-nets, made to curb ill men, 115 As they were cobwebs. No man dares reprove him, Such a spirit to dare and power to do were never Lodg’d so unluckily.

Re-enter AMBLE [laughing].

Amb. Ha! ha! I shall burst.

Ord. Contain thyself, man.

Furn. Or make us partakers Of your sudden mirth.

Amb. Ha! ha! my lady has got 120 Such a guest at her table!—this term-driver, Marrall, This snip of an attorney——

Furn. What of him, man?

Amb. The knave thinks still he ’s at the cook’s shop in Ram Alley,[4057] Where the clerks divide, and the elder is to choose; And feeds so slovenly!

Furn. Is this all?

Amb. My lady 125 Drank to him for fashion sake, or to please Master Wellborn; As I live, he rises, and takes up a dish In which there were some remnants of a boil’d capon, And pledges her in white broth!

Furn. Nay, ’t is like The rest of his tribe.

Amb. And when I brought him wine, 130 He leaves his stool, and, after a leg or two, Most humbly thanks my worship.

Ord. Risen already!

Amb. I shall be chid.

Re-enter LADY ALLWORTH, WELLBORN, and MARRALL.

Furn. My lady frowns.

L. All. You wait well! [To AMBLE] Let me have no more of this: I observ’d your jeering. Sirrah, I ’ll have you know, whom I think worthy 135 To sit at my table, be he ne’er so mean, When I am present, is not your companion.

Ord. Nay, she ’ll preserve what ’s due to her.

Furn. This refreshing Follows your flux of laughter.

L. All. [to WELLBORN.] You are master Of your own will. I know so much of manners, As not to inquire your purposes; in a word, 141 To me you are ever welcome, as to a house That is your own.

Wel. [Aside to MARRALL.] Mark that.

Mar. With reverence, sir, An it like your worship.

Well. Trouble yourself no further, Dear madam; my heart ’s full of zeal and service, 145 However in my language I am sparing. Come, Master Marrall.

Mar. I attend your worship. Exeunt WELLBORN and MARRALL.

L. All. I see in your looks you are sorry, and you know me An easy mistress. Be merry; I have forgot all. Order and Furnace, come with me; I must give you 150 Further directions.

Ord. What you please,

Furn. We are ready. Exeunt.

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Act II, Scene III — [4058]

[Enter] WELLBORN, and MARRALL [bareheaded].

Well. I think I am in a good way.

Mar. Good! Sir, the best way, The certain best way.

Well. There are casualties That men are subject to.

Mar. You are above ’em; And as you are already worshipful, I hope ere long you will increase in worship, 5 And be right worshipful.

Well. Prithee do not flout me: What I shall be, I shall be. Is ’t for your ease, You keep your hat off?

Mar. Ease! an it like your worship! I hope Jack Marrall shall not live so long, To prove himself such an unmannerly beast, 10 Though it hail hazel-nuts, as to be cover’d When your worship ’s present.

Well. (Aside.) Is not this a true rogue, That, out of mere hope of a future coz’nage,[4059] Can turn thus suddenly? ’T is rank already.

Mar. I know your worship’s wise, and needs no counsel, 15 Yet if, in my desire to do you service, I humbly offer my advice, (but still Under correction,) I hope I shall not Incur your high displeasure.

Well. No; speak freely.

Mar. Then, in my judgment, sir, my simple judgment, 20 (Still with your worship’s favour,) I could wish you A better habit, for this cannot be But much distasteful to the noble lady (I say no more) that loves you; for, this morning, To me, and I am but a swine to her, 25 Before th’ assurance of her wealth perfum’d you, You savour’d not of amber.[4060]

Well. I do now then!

Mar. This your batoon hath got a touch of it.—— Kisses the end of his cudgel. Yet, if you please, for change, I have twenty pounds here, Which, out of my true love, I ’ll presently 30 Lay down at your worship’s feet; ’t will serve to buy you A riding suit.

Well. But where ’s the horse?

Mar. My gelding Is at your service; nay, you shall ride me, Before your worship shall be put to the trouble To walk afoot. Alas, when you are lord 35 Of this lady’s manor, as I know you will be, You may with the lease of glebe land, called Knave’s-acre, A place I would manure,[4061] requite your vassal.

Well. I thank thy love, but must make no use of it; What ’s twenty pounds?

Mar. ’T is all that I can make, sir. 40

Well. Dost thou think, though I want clothes, I could not have ’em, For one word to my lady?

Mar. As I know not that!

Well. Come, I will tell thee a secret, and so leave thee. I will not give her the advantage, though she be A gallant-minded lady, after we are married, 45 (There being no woman but is sometimes froward,) To hit me in the teeth, and say, she was forc’d To buy my wedding-clothes, and took me on With a plain riding-suit, and an ambling nag. No, I ’ll be furnish’d something like myself, 50 And so farewell: for thy suit touching Knave’s-acre, When it is mine, ’t is thine.

Mar. I thank your worship. Exit WELL. How was I cozen’d[4062] in the calculation Of this man’s fortune! My master cozen’d too, Whose pupil I am in the art of undoing men; 55 For that is our profession! Well, well, Master Wellborn, You are of a sweet nature, and fit again to be cheated: Which, if the Fates please, when you are possess’d Of the land and lady, you, sans question, shall be. I ’ll presently think of the means. Walks by, musing.

Enter OVERREACH, [speaking to a Servant within.]

Over. Sirrah, take my horse, 60 I ’ll walk to get me an appetite; ’t is but a mile, And exercise will keep me from being pursy.[4063] Ha! Marrall! Is he conjuring? Perhaps The knave has wrought the prodigal to do Some outrage on himself, and now he feels 65 Compunction in his conscience for ’t: no matter. So it be done. Marrall!

Mar. Sir.

Over. How succeed we In our plot on Wellborn?

Mar. Never better, sir.

Over. Has he hang’d or drown’d himself?

Mar. No, sir, he lives; Lives once more to be made a prey to you, 70 A greater prey than ever.

Over. Art thou in thy wits? If thou art, reveal this miracle, and briefly.

Mar. A lady, sir, is fall’n in love with him.

Over. With him? What lady?

Mar. The rich Lady Allworth.

Over. Thou dolt! how dar’st thou speak this?

Mar. I speak truth; 75 And I do so but once a year, unless It be to you, sir. We din’d with her ladyship, I thank his worship.

Over. His worship!

Mar. As I live, sir, I din’d with him, at the great lady’s table, Simple as I stand here; and saw when she kiss’d him, 80 And would, at his request, have kiss’d me too: But I was not so audacious as some youths are, That dare do anything, be it ne’er so absurd, And sad after performance.

Over. Why, thou rascal! To tell me these impossibilities. 85 Dine at her table! and kiss him! or thee!—— Impudent varlet, have not I myself, To whom great countesses’ doors have oft flew open, Ten times attempted, since her husband’s death, In vain, to see her, though I came—a suitor? And yet your good solicitorship, and rogue Wellborn, 91 Were brought into her presence, feasted with her!—— But that I know thee a dog that cannot blush, This most incredible lie would call up one On thy buttermilk cheeks.

Mar. Shall I not trust my eyes, sir, 95 Or taste? I feel her good cheer in my belly.

Over. You shall feel me, if you give not over, sirrah: Recover your brains again, and be no more gull’d With a beggar’s plot, assisted by the aids Of serving-men and chambermaids, for beyond these 100 Thou never saw’st a woman, or I ’ll quit you From my employments.

Mar. Will you credit this yet? On my confidence of their marriage, I offer’d Wellborn—— (Aside.) I would give a crown now I durst say “his worship”—— My nag and twenty pounds.

Over. Did you so, idiot! (Strikes him down.) Was this the way to work him to despair, 106 Or rather to cross me?

Mar. Will your worship kill me?

Over. No, no; but drive the lying spirit out of you.

Mar. He ’s gone.

Over. I have done then: now, forgetting Your late imaginary feast and lady, 110 Know, my Lord Lovell dines with me to-morrow. Be careful nought be wanting to receive him; And bid my daughter’s women trim her up, Though they paint her, so she catch the lord, I ’ll thank them. There ’s a piece for my late blows.

Mar. (Aside.) I must yet suffer: 115 But there may be a time——

Over. Do you grumble?

Mar. No, sir. [Exeunt.]

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Act III, Scene I — [4064]

[Enter LORD] LOVELL, ALLWORTH, and Servants.

Lov. Walk the horses down the hill: something in private I must impart to Allworth. Exeunt Servants.

All. O, my lord, What a sacrifice of reverence, duty, watching, Although I could put off the use of sleep, And ever wait on your commands to serve ’em; 5 What dangers, though in ne’er so horrid shapes, Nay death itself, though I should run to meet it, Can I, and with a thankful willingness, suffer! But still the retribution will fall short Of your bounties shower’d upon me.

Lov. Loving youth, 10 Till what I purpose be put into act, Do not o’erprize it; since you have trusted me With your soul’s nearest, nay, her dearest secret, Rest confident ’t is in a cabinet lock’d Treachery shall never open. I have found you 15 (For so much to your face I must profess, Howe’er you guard your modesty with a blush for ’t) More zealous in your love and service to me Than I have been in my rewards.

All. Still great ones, Above my merit.

Lov. Such your gratitude calls ’em; 20 Nor am I of that harsh and rugged temper As some great men are tax’d[4065] with, who imagine They part from the respect due to their honours If they use not all such as follow ’em, 24 Without distinction of their births, like slaves. I am not so condition’d; I can make A fitting difference between my foot boy And a gentleman by want compell’d to serve me.

All. ’T is thankfully acknowledg’d: you have been More like a father to me than a master. 30 Pray you, pardon the comparison.

Lov. I allow it: And, to give you assurance I am pleas’d in ’t, My carriage and demeanour to your mistress, Fair Margaret, shall truly witness for me I can command my passions.

All. ’T is a conquest 35 Few lords can boast of when they are tempted—Oh!

Lov. Why do you sigh? Can you be doubtful of me? By that fair name I in the wars have purchas’d, And all my actions, hitherto untainted, I will not be more true to mine own honour 40 Than to my Allworth!

All. As you are the brave Lord Lovell, Your bare word only given is an assurance Of more validity and weight to me Than all the oaths, bound up with imprecations, Which, when they would deceive, most courtiers practise; 45 Yet being a man, (for, sure, to style you more Would relish of gross flattery,) I am forc’d, Against my confidence of your worth and virtues, To doubt, nay, more, to fear.

Lov. So young, and jealous!

All. Were you to encounter with a single foe, The victory were certain; but to stand 51 The charge of two such potent enemies, At once assaulting you, as wealth and beauty, And those too seconded with power, is odds Too great for Hercules.

Lov. Speak your doubts and fears, 55 Since you will nourish ’em, in plainer language, That I may understand them.

All. What ’s your will, Though I lend arms against myself, (provided They may advantage you,) must be obeyed. My much-lov’d lord, were Margaret only fair, 60 The cannon of her more than earthly form, Though mounted high, commanding all beneath it, And ramm’d with bullets of her sparkling eyes, Of all the bulwarks that defend your senses Could batter none, but that which guards your sight. 65 But when the well-tun’d accents of her tongue Make music to you, and with numerous[4066] sounds Assault your hearing, (such as if Ulysses Now liv’d again, howe’er he stood the Syrens, Could not resist,) the combat must grow doubtful 70 Between your reason and rebellious passions. Add this too; when you feel her touch, and breath Like a soft western wind when it glides o’er Arabia, creating gums and spices; And, in the van, the nectar of her lips, 75 Which you must taste, bring the battalia on, Well arm’d, and strongly lin’d[4067] with her discourse, And knowing manners, to give entertainment;— Hippolytus himself would leave Diana, To follow such a Venus.

Lov. Love hath made you 80 Poetical, Allworth.

All. Grant all these beat off, Which if it be in man to do, you ’ll do it, Mammon, in Sir Giles Overreach, steps in With heaps of ill-got gold, and so much land, To make her more remarkable, as would tire 85 A falcon’s wings in one day to fly over. O my good lord! these powerful aids, which would Make a mis-shapen negro beautiful, (Yet are but ornaments to give her lustre, That in herself is all perfection,) must 90 Prevail for her. I here release your trust; ’T is happiness enough for me to serve you And sometimes, with chaste eyes, to look upon her.

Lov. Why, shall I swear?

All. O, by no means, my lord; And wrong not so your judgment to the world As from your fond indulgence to a boy, 96 Your page, your servant, to refuse a blessing Divers great men are rivals for.

Lov. Suspend Your judgment till the trial. How far is it To Overreach’s house?

All. At the most, some half hour’s riding; 100 You ’ll soon be there.

Lov. And you the sooner freed From your jealous fears.

All. O that I durst but hope it! Exeunt.

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Act III, Scene II — [4068]

[Enter] OVERREACH, GREEDY, and MARRALL.

Over. Spare for no cost; let my dressers crack with the weight Of curious viands.

Greedy. “Store indeed ’s no sore,” sir.

Over. That proverb fits your stomach, Master Greedy. And let no plate be seen but what ’s pure gold, Or such whose workmanship exceeds the matter 5 That it is made of; let my choicest linen Perfume the room, and, when we wash, the water, With precious powders mix’d, so please my lord That he may with envy wish to bathe so ever.

Mar. ’T will be very chargeable.

Over. Avaunt, you drudge! 10 Now all my labour’d ends are at the stake, Is ’t a time to think of thrift? Call in my daughter. [Exit MARRALL.] And, Master Justice, since you love choice dishes, And plenty of ’em——

Greedy. As I do, indeed, sir, Almost as much as to give thanks for ’em. 15

Over. I do confer that providence,[4069] with my power Of absolute command to have abundance, To your best care.

Greedy. I ’ll punctually discharge it, And give the best directions. Now am I, In mine own conceit, a monarch; at the least, Arch-president of the boil’d, the roast, the bak’d; 21 For which I will eat often, and give thanks When my belly ’s brac’d up like a drum, and that ’s pure justice. Exit.

Over. It must be so. Should the foolish girl prove modest, She may spoil all; she had it not from me, 25 But from her mother: I was ever forward, As she must be, and therefore I ’ll prepare her. [Enter] MARGARET. Alone—and let your women wait without.

Marg. Your pleasure, sir?

Over. Ha! this is a neat dressing! These orient pearls and diamonds well plac’d too! 30 The gown affects me not, it should have been Embroider’d o’er and o’er with flowers of gold; But these rich jewels and quaint fashion help it. And how below? since oft the wanton eye The face observ’d, descends unto the foot, 35 Which being well proportion’d, as yours is, Invites as much as perfect white and red, Though without art. How like you your new woman, The Lady Downfall’n?

Marg. Well, for a companion; Not as a servant.

Over. Is she humble, Meg, 40 And careful too, her ladyship forgotten?

Marg. I pity her fortune.

Over. Pity her! trample on her. I took her up in an old tamin[4070] gown, (Even starv’d for want of twopenny chops,) to serve thee; And if I understand she but repines 45 To do thee any duty, though ne’er so servile, I ’ll pack her to her knight, where I have lodg’d him, Into the Counter[4071] and there let ’em howl together.

Marg. You know your own ways; but for me, I blush When I command her, that was once attended With persons not inferior to myself 51 In birth.

Over. In birth! why, art thou not my daughter, The blest child of my industry and wealth? Why, foolish girl, was ’t not to make thee great That I have run, and still pursue, those ways 55 That hale down curses on me, which I mind not? Part with these humble thoughts, and apt[4072] thyself To the noble state I labour to advance thee; Or, by my hopes to see thee honourable, I will adopt a stranger to my heir, 60 And throw thee from my care. Do not provoke me.

Marg. I will not, sir; mould me which way you please.

Re-enter GREEDY.

Over. How! Interrupted!

Greedy. ’T is matter of importance. The cook, sir, is self-will’d, and will not learn From my experience. There ’s a fawn brought in, sir, 65 And, for my life, I cannot make him roast it With a Norfolk dumpling in the belly of it; And, sir, we wise men know, without the dumpling ’T is not worth three-pence.

Over. Would it were whole in thy belly, To stuff it out! Cook it any way; prithee, leave me. 70

Greedy. Without order for the dumpling?

Over. Let it be dumpl’d Which way thou wilt; or tell him, I will scald him In his own caldron.

Greedy. I had lost my stomach Had I lost my mistress dumpling; I ’ll give thanks for ’t. [Exit.]

Over. But to our business, Meg; you have heard who dines here? 75

Marg. I have, sir.

Over. ’T is an honourable man; A lord, Meg, and commands a regiment Of soldiers, and, what ’s rare, is one himself, A bold and understanding one; and to be A lord and a good leader, in one volume, 80 Is granted unto few but such as rise up The kingdom’s glory.

Re-enter GREEDY.

Greedy. I ’ll resign my office, If I be not better obey’d.

Over. ’Slight, art thou frantic?

Greedy. Frantic! ’T would make me frantic and stark mad, Were I not a justice of peace and quorum too, Which this rebellions cook cares not a straw for. 86 There are a dozen of woodcocks——

Over. Make thyself Thirteen, the baker’s dozen.

Greedy. I am contented, So they may be dress’d to my mind; he has found out A new device for sauce, and will not dish ’em With toasts and butter. My father was a tailor, 91 And my name, though a justice, Greedy Woodcock; And, ere I ’ll see my lineage so abus’d, I ’ll give up my commission.

Over. [loudly.] Cook!—Rogue, obey him! I have given the word, pray you now remove yourself 95 To a collar of brawn,[4073] and trouble me no further.

Greedy. I will, and meditate what to eat at dinner. Exit.

Over. And as I said, Meg, when this gull[4074] disturb’d us, This honourable lord, this colonel, I would have thy husband.

Marg. There ’s too much disparity 100 Between his quality and mine, to hope it.

Over. I more than hope’t, and doubt not to effect it. Be thou no enemy to thyself, my wealth Shall weight his titles down, and make you equals. Now for the means to assure him thine, observe me: 105 Remember he ’s a courtier and a soldier, And not to be trifled with; and, therefore, when He comes to woo you, see you do not coy it: This mincing modesty has spoil’d many a match By a first refusal, in vain after hop’d for. 110

Marg. You ’ll have me, sir, preserve the distance that Confines a virgin?

Over. Virgin me no virgins! I must have you lose that name, or you lose me. I will have you private—start not—I say, private; If thou art my true daughter, not a bastard, 115 Thou wilt venture alone with one man, though he came Like Jupiter to Semele, and come off, too; And therefore, when he kisses you, kiss close.

Marg. I have heard this is the strumpet’s fashion, sir, Which I must never learn.

Over. Learn any thing, 120 And from any creature that may make thee great; From the devil himself.

Marg. [Aside.] This is but devilish doctrine!

Over. Or, if his blood grow hot, suppose he offer Beyond this, do not you stay till it cool, But meet his ardour; if a couch be near, 125 Sit down on ’t, and invite him.

Marg. In your house, Your own house, sir! For Heaven’s sake, what are you then? Or what shall I be, sir?

Over. Stand not on form; Words are no substances.

Marg. Though you could dispense With your own honour, cast aside religion, 130 The hopes of Heaven, or fear of hell, excuse me, In worldly policy this is not the way To make me his wife; his whore, I grant it may do. My maiden honour so soon yielded up, Nay, prostituted, cannot but assure him 135 I, that am light to him, will not hold weight Whene’er[4075] tempted by others; so, in judgment, When to his lust I have given up my honour, He must and will forsake me.

Over. How! forsake thee! Do I wear a sword for fashion? or is this arm Shrunk up or wither’d? Does there live a man 141 Of that large list I have encounter’d with Can truly say I e’er gave inch of ground Not purchas’d with his blood that did oppose me? Forsake thee when the thing is done! He dares not. 145 Give me but proof he has enjoy’d thy person, Though all his captains, echoes to his will, Stood arm’d by his side to justify the wrong, And he himself in the head of his bold troop, Spite of his lordship, and his colonelship, 150 Or the judge’s favour, I will make him render A bloody and a strict account, and force him, By marrying thee, to cure thy wounded honour! I have said it.

Re-enter MARRALL.

Mar. Sir, the man of honour ’s come, Newly alighted.

Over. In, without reply. 155 And do as I command, or thou art lost. Exit MARGARET. Is the loud music I gave order for Ready to receive him?

Mar. ’T is, sir.

Over. Let ’em sound A princely welcome. [Exit MARRALL.] Roughness awhile leave me; For fawning now, a stranger to my nature, 160 Must make way for me.

Loud music. Enter LORD LOVELL, GREEDY, ALLWORTH, and MARRALL.

Lov. Sir, you meet your trouble.

Over. What you are pleas’d to style so is an honour Above my worth and fortunes.

All. [Aside.] Strange, so humble.

Over. A justice of peace, my lord. Presents GREEDY to him.

Lov. Your hand, good sir.

Greedy. [Aside.] This is a lord, and some think this a favour; 165 But I had rather have my hand in my dumpling.

Over. Room for my lord.

Lov. I miss, sir, your fair daughter To crown my welcome.

Over. May it please my lord To taste a glass of Greek wine first, and suddenly She shall attend my lord.

Lov. You ’ll be obey’d, sir. Exeunt all but OVERREACH. 170

Over. ’T is to my wish: as soon as come, ask for her! Why, Meg! Meg Overreach.— [Re-enter MARGARET.] How! tears in your eyes! Hah! dry ’em quickly, or I ’ll dig ’em out. Is this a time to whimper? Meet that greatness That flies into thy bosom, think what ’t is 175 For me to say, “My honourable daughter;” And thou, when I stand bare, to say, “Put on;” Or, “Father, you forget yourself.” No more: But be instructed, or expect——He comes. Re-enter LORD LOVELL, Greedy, ALLWORTH, and MARRALL. A black-brow’d girl, my lord,

Lov. As I live, a rare one. They salute. 180

All. [Aside.] He ’s took already: I am lost.

Over. [Aside.] That kiss Came twanging off, I like it.—Quit the room. [Exeunt all but OVERREACH, LOVELL, and MARGARET.] A little bashful, my good lord, but you, I hope, will teach her boldness.

Lov. I am happy In such a scholar: but——

Over. I am past learning, 185 And therefore leave you to yourselves.—Remember! Aside to MARGARET and exit.

Lov. You see, fair lady, your father is solicitous To have you change the barren name of virgin Into a hopeful wife.

Marg. His haste, my lord, Holds no power o’er my will.

Lov. But o’er your duty. 190

Marg. Which forc’d too much, may break.

Lov. Bend rather, sweetest: Think of your years.

Marg. Too few to match with yours: And choicest fruits too soon pluck’d, rot and wither.

Lov. Do you think I am old?

Marg. I am sure I am too young.

Lov. I can advance you.

Marg. To a hill of sorrow, 195 Where every hour I may expect to fall, But never hope firm footing. You are noble, I of a low descent, however rich; And tissues match’d with scarlet[4076] suit but ill. O, my good lord. I could say more, but that 200 I dare not trust these walls.

Lov. Pray you, trust my ear then.

Re-enter OVERREACH [behind], listening.

Over. Close at it! whispering! this is excellent! And, by their postures, a consent on both parts.

Re-enter GREEDY behind.

Greedy. Sir Giles, Sir Giles!

Over. The great fiend stop that clapper!

Greedy. It must ring out, sir, when my belly rings noon. 205 The bak’d-meats are run out, the roasts turn’d powder.

Over. I shall powder you.

Greedy. Beat me to dust, I care not; In such a cause as this, I’ll die a martyr.

Over. Marry, and shall, you barathrum[4077] of the shambles! Strikes him.

Greedy. How! strike a justice of peace! ’T is petty treason. 210 Edwardi quinto: but that you are my friend, I would commit you without bail or main-prize.[4078]

Over. Leave your bawling, sir, or I shall commit you Where you shall not dine to-day. Disturb my lord, When he is in discourse!

Greedy. Is ’t a time to talk 215 When we should be munching!

Lov. Hah! I heard some noise.

Over. Mum, villain; vanish! Shall we break a bargain Almost made up? Thrusts GREEDY off.

Lov. Lady, I understand you. And rest most happy in your choice, believe it; I ’ll be a careful pilot to direct 220 Your yet uncertain bark to a port of safety.

Marg. So shall your honour save two lives, and bind us Your slaves for ever.

Lov. I am in the act rewarded, Since it is good; howe’er, you must put on An amorous carriage towards me to delude 225 Your subtle father.

Marg. I am prone to that.

Lov. Now break we off our conference.—Sir Giles! Where is Sir Giles? [OVERREACH comes forward.]

Re-enter ALLWORTH, MARRALL, and GREEDY.

Over. My noble lord; and how Does your lordship find her?

Lov. Apt, Sir Giles, and coming; And I like her the better.

Over. So do I too. 230

Love. Yet should we take forts at the first assault, ’T were poor in the defendant; I must confirm her With a love-letter or two, which I must have Deliver’d by my page, and you give way to ’t.

Over. With all my soul:—a towardly gentleman! 235 Your hand, good Master Allworth: know my house Is ever open to you.

All. (Aside.) ’T was shut till now.

Over. Well done, well done, my honourable daughter! Thou ’rt so already. Know this gentle youth, And cherish him, my honourable daughter. 240

Marg. I shall, with my best care. Noise within, as of a coach.

Over. A coach!

Greedy. More stops Before we go to dinner! O my guts!

Enter LADY ALLWORTH and WELLBORN.

L. All. If I find welcome, You share in it; if not, I ’ll back again, Now I know your ends; for I come arm’d for all Can be objected.

Lov. How! the Lady Allworth! 245

Over. And thus attended! LOVELL salutes LADY ALLWORTH, LADY ALLWORTH salutes MARGARET.

Mar. No, “I am a dolt! The spirit of lies had ent’red me!”

Over. Peace, Patch;[4079] ’T is more than wonder! an astonishment That does possess me wholly!

Lov. Noble lady, This is a favour, to prevent[4080] my visit, 250 The service of my life can never equal.

L. All. My lord, I laid wait for you, and much hop’d You would have made my poor house your first inn: And therefore doubting that you might forget me, Or too long dwell here, having such ample cause, 255 In this unequall’d beauty, for your stay, And fearing to trust any but myself With the relation of my service to you, I borrow’d so much from my long restraint And took the air in person to invite you. 260

Lov. Your bounties are so great, they rob me, madam, Of words to give you thanks.

L. All. Good Sir Giles Overreach. Salutes him. —How dost thou, Marrall? Lik’d you my meat so ill, You ’ll dine no more with me?

Greedy. I will, when you please, 264 An it like[4081] your ladyship.

L. All. When you please, Master Greedy; If meat can do it, you shall be satisfied. And now, my lord, pray take into your knowledge This gentleman; howe’er his outside ’s coarse, Presents WELLBORN. His inward linings are as fine and fair 269 As any man’s; wonder not I speak at large: And howsoe’er his humour carries him To be thus accoutred, or what taint soever, For his wild life, hath stuck upon his fame, He may ere long, with boldness, rank himself With some that have contemn’d him. Sir Giles Overreach, 275 If I am welcome, bid him so.

Over. My nephew! He has been too long a stranger. Faith you have, Pray let it be mended. LOVELL confers aside with WELLBORN.

Mar. Why, sir, what do you mean? This is “rogue Wellborn, monster, prodigy, That should hang or drown himself;” no man of worship, 280 Much less your nephew.

Over. Well, sirrah, we shall reckon For this hereafter.

Mar. I ’ll not lose my jeer, Though I be beaten dead for ’t.

Well. Let my silence plead In my excuse, my lord, till better leisure Offer itself to hear a full relation 285 Of my poor fortunes.

Lov. I would hear, and help ’em.

Over. Your dinner waits you.

Lov. Pray you lead, we follow.

L. All. Nay, you are my guest; come, dear Master Wellborn. Exeunt all but GREEDY.

Greedy. “Dear Master Wellborn!” so she said: Heaven! Heaven! If my belly would give me leave, I could ruminate 290 All day on this. I have granted twenty warrants To have him committed, from all prisons in the shire, To Nottingham gaol; and now “Dear Master Wellborn!” And, “My good nephew!”—but I play the fool 294 To stand here prating, and forget my dinner. Re-enter MARRALL. Are they set, Marrall?

Mar. Long since; pray you a word, sir.

Greedy. No wording now.

Mar. In troth, I must. My master, Knowing you are his good friend, makes bold with you, And does entreat you, more guests being come in Than he expected, especially his nephew, 300 The table being full too, you would excuse him, And sup with him on the cold meat.

Greedy. How! No dinner, After all my care?

Mar. ’T is but a penance for A meal; besides, you broke your fast.

Greedy. That was But a bit to stay my stomach. A man in commission 305 Give place to a tatterdemalion!

Mar. No bug[4082] words, sir; Should his worship hear you——

Greedy. Lose my dumpling too, And butter’d toasts, and woodcocks!

Mar. Come, have patience. If you will dispense a little with your worship, And sit with the waiting women, you ’ll have dumpling, 310 Woodcock, and butter’d toasts too.

Greedy. This revives me: I will gorge there sufficiently.

Mar. This is the way, sir. Exeunt.

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Act III, Scene III — [4083]

[Enter] OVERREACH, as from dinner.

Over. She ’s caught! O women!—she neglects my lord, And all her compliments appli’d to Wellborn! The garments of her widowhood laid by, She now appears as glorious as the spring, Her eyes fix’d on him, in the wine she drinks, 5 He being her pledge, she sends him burning kisses, And sits on thorns, till she be private with him. She leaves my meat to feed upon his looks, And if in our discourse he be but nam’d, From her a deep sigh follows. And why grieve I 10 At this? It makes for me; if she prove his, All that is hers is mine, as I will work him.

Enter MARRALL.

Mar. Sir, the whole board is troubled at your rising.

Over. No matter, I ’ll excuse it. Prithee, Marrall, Watch an occasion to invite my nephew 15 To speak with me in private.

Mar. Who? “The rogue The lady scorn’d to look on”?

Over. You are a wag.

Enter LADY ALLWORTH and WELLBORN.

Mar. See, sir, she’s come, and cannot be without him.

L. All. With your favour, sir, after a plenteous dinner, I shall make bold to walk a turn or two, 20 In your rare garden.

Over. There ’s an arbour too, If your ladyship please to use it.

L. All. Come, Master Wellborn. Exeunt LADY ALLWORTH and WELLBORN.

Over. Grosser and grosser! Now I believe the poet Feign’d not, but was historical, when he wrote Pasiphae was enamour’d of a bull: 25 This lady’s lust ’s more monstrous.—My good lord, Enter LORD LOVELL, MARGARET, and the rest. Excuse my manners.

Lov. There needs none, Sir Giles, I may ere long say father, when it pleases My dearest mistress to give warrant to it.

Over. She shall seal to it, my lord, and make me happy. 30

Re-enter WELLBORN and LADY ALLWORTH.

Marg. My lady is return’d.

L. All. Provide my coach, I ’ll instantly away. My thanks, Sir Giles, For my entertainment.

Over. ’T is your nobleness To think it such.

L. All. I must do vou a further wrong In taking away your honourable guest. 35

Lov. I wait on you, madam; farewell, good Sir Giles.

L. All. Good Mistress Margaret! Nay, come, Master Wellborn, I must not leave you behind; in sooth, I must not.

Over. Rob me not, madam, of all joys at once; Let my nephew stay behind. He shall have my coach, 40 And, after some small conference between us, Soon overtake your ladyship.

L. All. Stay not long, sir.

Lov. This parting kiss: [kisses MARGARET] you shall every day hear from me, By my faithful page.

All. ’T is a service I am proud of. Exeunt LORD LOVELL, LADY ALLWORTH, ALLWORTH, and MARRALL.

Over. Daughter, to your chamber.— Exit MARGARET. —You may wonder, nephew, 45 After so long an enmity between us, I should desire your friendship.

Well. So I do, sir; ’T is strange to me.

Over. But I ’ll make it no wonder; And what is more, unfold my nature to you. We worldly men, when we see friends and kinsmen 50 Past hopes sunk in their fortunes, lend no hand To lift ’em up, but rather set our feet Upon their heads, to press ’em to the bottom; As, I must yield,[4084] with you I practis’d it: But, now I see you in a way to rise, 55 I can and will assist you. This rich lady (And I am glad of ’t) is enamour’d of you; ’T is too apparent, nephew.

Well. No such thing: Compassion rather, sir.

Over. Well, in a word, 59 Because your stay is short, I ’ll have you seen No more in this base shape; nor shall she say She married you like a beggar, or in debt.

Well. (Aside.) He ’ll run into the noose, and save my labour.

Over. You have a trunk of rich clothes, not far hence, In pawn; I will redeem ’em; and that no clamour 65 May taint your credit for your petty debts, You shall have a thousand pounds to cut ’em off, And go a free man to the wealthy lady.

Well. This done, sir, out of love, and no ends else——

Over. As it is, nephew.

Well. Binds me still your servant. 70

Over. No compliments; you are staid for. Ere you have supp’d You shall hear from me. My coach, knaves, for my nephew. To-morrow I will visit you.

Well. Here’s an uncle In a man ’s extremes! How much they do belie you, That say you are hard-hearted!

Over. My deeds, nephew, 75 Shall speak my love; what men report I weigh not. Exeunt.

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Act IV, Scene I — [4085]

[Enter LORD] LOVELL and ALLWORTH.

Lov. ’Tis well; give me my cloak; I now discharge you From further service. Mind your own affairs; I hope they will prove successful.

All. What is blest With your good wish, my lord, cannot but prosper. Let aftertimes report, and to your honour, 5 How much I stand engag’d, for I want language To speak my debt; yet if a tear or two Of joy, for your much goodness, can supply My tongue’s defects, I could——

Lov. Nay, do not melt: This ceremonial thanks to me ’s superfluous. 10

Over. (within.) Is my lord stirring?

Lov. ’Tis he! oh, here’s your letter. Let him in.

Enter OVERREACH, GREEDY, and MARRALL.

Over. A good day to my lord!

Lov. You are an early riser, Sir Giles.

Over. And reason, to attend your lordship. 15

Lov. And you, too, Master Greedy, up so soon!

Greedy. In troth, my lord, after the sun is up, I cannot sleep, for I have a foolish stomach That croaks for breakfast. With your lordship’s favour, I have a serious question to demand 20 Of my worthy friend Sir Giles.

Lov. Pray you use your pleasure.

Greedy. How far, Sir Giles, and pray you answer me Upon your credit, hold you it to be From your manor-house, to this of my Lady’s Allworth’s?

Over. Why, some four mile.

Greedy. How! four mile, good Sir Giles—— Upon your reputation, think better; 26 For if you do abate but one half-quarter Of five, you do yourself the greatest wrong That can be in the world; for four miles riding Could not have rais’d so huge an appetite 30 As I feel gnawing on me.

Mar. Whether you ride, Or go afoot, you are that way still provided, An it please your worship.

Over. How now, sirrah? Prating Before my lord! No difference? Go to my nephew, See all his debts discharg’d, and help his worship 35 To fit on his rich suit.

Mar. [Aside.] I may fit you too. Toss’d like a dog still! Exit.

Lov. I have writ this morning A few lines to my mistress, your fair daughter.

Over. ’T will fire her, for she’s wholly yours already.— Sweet Master Allworth, take my ring; ’t will carry you 40 To her presence, I dare warrant you; and there plead For my good lord, if you shall find occasion. That done, pray ride to Nottingham, get a licence, Still by this token. I’ll have it dispatch’d, And suddenly, my lord, that I may say, 45 My honourable, nay, right honourable daughter.

Greedy. Take my advice, young gentleman, get your breakfast; ’Tis unwholesome to ride fasting. I’ll eat with you, And eat to purpose.

Over. Some Fury’s in that gut; Hungry again! Did you not devour, this morning, 50 A shield of brawn, and a barrel of Colchester oysters?

Greedy. Why, that was, sir, only to scour my stomach, A kind of a preparative. Come, gentleman, I will not have you feed like the hangman of Flushing, Alone, while I am here.

Lov. Haste your return. 55

All. I will not fail, my lord.

Greedy. Nor I, to line My Christmas coffer. Exeunt GREEDY and ALLWORTH.

Over. To my wish: we are private. I come not to make offer with my daughter A certain portion,—that were poor and trivial: In one word, I pronounce all that is mine, 60 In lands or leases, ready coin or goods, With her, my lord, comes to you; nor shall you have One motive to induce you to believe I live too long, since every year I’ll add Something unto the heap, which shall be yours too. 65

Lov. You are a right kind father.

Over. You shall have reason To think me such. How do you like this seat? It is well wooded, and well water’d, the acres Fertile and rich; would it not serve for change, To entertain your friends in a summer progress? What thinks my noble lord?

Lov. ’Tis a wholesome air, 71 And well-built pile; and she that’s mistress of it, Worthy the large revénue.

Over. She the mistress! It may be so for a time: but let my lord Say only that he likes it, and would have it, 75 I say, ere long ’t is his.

Lov. Impossible.

Over. You do conclude too fast, not knowing me, Nor the engines[4086] that I work by. ’T is not alone The Lady Allworth’s lands, for those once Wellborn’s 79 (As by her dotage on him I know they will be,) Shall soon be mine; but point out any man’s In all the shire, and say they lie convenient And useful for your lordship, and once more I say aloud, they are yours.

Lov. I dare not own What ’s by unjust and cruel means extorted; 85 My fame and credit are more dear to me, Than so to expose ’em to be censur’d by The public voice.

Over. You run, my lord, no hazard. Your reputation shall stand as fair, In all good men’s opinions, as now; 90 Nor can my actions, though condemn’d for ill, Cast any foul aspersion upon yours. For, though I do contemn report myself As a mere sound, I still will be so tender 94 Of what concerns you, in all points of honour, That the immaculate whiteness of your fame, Nor your unquestioned integrity, Shall e’er be sullied with one taint or spot That may take from your innocence and candour.[4087] All my ambition is to have my daughter 100 Right honourable, which my lord can make her: And might I live to dance upon my knee A young Lord Lovell, borne by her unto you, I write nil ultra[4088] to my proudest hopes. As for possessions and annual rents, 105 Equivalent to maintain you in the port Your noble birth and present state requires, I do remove that burthen from your shoulders, And take it on mine own: for, though I ruin The country to supply your riotous waste, 110 The scourge of prodigals, want, shall never find you.

Lov. Are you not frighted with the imprecations And curses of whole families, made wretched By your sinister practices?

Over. Yes, as rocks are, When foamy billows split themselves against Their flinty ribs; or as the moon is mov’d 116 When wolves, with hunger pin’d, howl at her brightness. I am of a solid temper, and, like these, Steer on a constant course. With mine own sword, 119 If call’d into the field, I can make that right, Which fearful enemies murmur’d at as wrong. Now, for these other piddling complaints Breath’d out in bitterness; as when they call me Extortioner, tyrant, cormorant, or intruder 124 On my poor neighbour’s right, or grand incloser Of what was common, to my private use; Nay, when my ears are pierc’d with widows’ cries, And undone orphans wash with tears my threshold, I only think what ’tis to have my daughter 129 Right honourable; and ’tis a powerful charm Makes me insensible of remorse, or pity, Or the least sting of conscience.

Lov. I admire[4089] The toughness of your nature.

Over. ’Tis for you, My lord, and for my daughter, I am marble; Nay more, if you will have my character 135 In little, I enjoy more true delight In my arrival to my wealth these dark And crooked ways, than you shall e’er take pleasure In spending what my industry hath compass’d. My haste commands me hence; in one word, therefore, 140 Is it a match?

Lov. I hope, that is past doubt now.

Over. Then rest secure; not the hate of all mankind here, Nor fear of what can fall on me hereafter, Shall make me study aught but your advancement One story higher: an earl! if gold can do it. 145 Dispute not my religion, nor my faith; Though I am borne thus headlong by my will, You may make choice of what belief you please, To me they are equal; so, my lord, good morrow. Exit.

Lov. He’s gone—I wonder how the earth can bear 150 Such a portent! I, that have liv’d a soldier, And stood the enemy’s violent charge undaunted, To hear this blasphemous beast am bath’d all over In a cold sweat: yet, like a mountain, he (Confirm’d in atheistical assertions) 155 Is no more shaken than Olympus[4090] is When angry Boreas loads his double head With sudden drifts of snow.

Enter LADY ALLWORTH, Waiting Woman, and AMBLE.

L. All. Save you, my lord! Disturb I not your privacy?

Lov. No, good madam; For your own sake I am glad you came no sooner, 160 Since this bold bad man, Sir Giles Overreach, Made such a plain discovery of himself, And read this morning such a devilish matins, That I should think it a sin next to his But to repeat it.

L. All. I ne’er press’d, my lord, 165 On others’ privacies; yet, against my will, Walking, for health’ sake, in the gallery Adjoining to your lodgings, I was made (So vehement and loud he was) partaker Of his tempting offers.

Lov. Please you to command 170 Your servants hence, and I shall gladly hear Your wiser counsel.

L. All. ’Tis, my lord, a woman’s, But true and hearty;—wait in the next room, But be within call; yet not so near to force me To whisper my intents.

Amb. We are taught better 175 By you, good madam.

W. Wom. And well know our distance.

L. All. Do so, and talk not; ’t will become your breeding, Exeunt AMBLE and W. Woman. Now, my good lord; if I may use my freedom, As to an honour’d friend——

Lov. You lessen else Your favour to me.

L. All. I dare then say thus: 180 As you are noble (howe’er common men Make sordid wealth the object and sole end Of their industrious aims) ’t will not agree With those of eminent blood, who are engag’d More to prefer[4091] their honours than to increase The state left to ’em by their ancestors, 185 To study large additions to their fortunes, And quite neglect their births:—though I must grant, Riches, well got, to be a useful servant, But a bad master.

Lov. Madam, ’tis confessed; 190 But what infer you from it?

L. All. This, my lord; That as all wrongs, though thrust into one scale, Slide of themselves off when right fills the other And cannot bide the trial; so all wealth, I mean if ill-acquir’d, cemented to honour 195 By virtuous ways achiev’d, and bravely purchas’d, Is but as rubbish pour’d into a river, (Howe’er intended to make good the bank,) Rendering the water, that was pure before, Polluted and unwholesome. I allow 200 The heir of Sir Giles Overreach, Margaret, A maid well qualified and the richest match Our north part can make boast of; yet she cannot, With all that she brings with her, fill their mouths, That never will forget who was her father; 205 Or that my husband Allworth’s lands, and Wellborn’s, (How wrung from both needs now no repetition,) Were real motives that more work’d your lordship To join your families, than her form and virtues: You may conceive the rest.

Lov. I do, sweet madam, 210 And long since have consider’d it. I know, The sum of all that makes a just man happy Consists in the well choosing of his wife: And there, well to discharge it, does require Equality of years, of birth, of fortune; 215 For beauty being poor, and not cried up By birth or wealth, can truly mix with neither. And wealth, where there’s such difference in years, And fair descent, must make the yoke uneasy:— But I come nearer.

L. All. Pray you do, my lord. 220

Lov. Were Overreach’s states thrice centupl’d, his daughter Millions of degrees much fairer than she is, Howe’er I might urge precedents to excuse me, I would not so adulterate my blood By marrying Margaret, and so leave my issue Made up of several pieces, one part scarlet, 226 And the other London blue. In my own tomb I will inter my name first.

L. All. (Aside.) I am glad to hear this.—— Why then, my lord, pretend you marriage to her? Dissimulation but ties false knots 230 On that straight line by which you, hitherto, Have measur’d all your actions.

Lov. I make answer, And aptly, with a question. Wherefore have you, That, since your husband’s death, have liv’d a strict And chaste nun’s life, on the sudden given yourself 235 To visits and entertainments? Think you, madam, ’Tis not grown public conference?[4092] Or the favours Which you too prodigally have thrown on Wellborn, Being too reserv’d before, incur not censure?

L. All. I am innocent here; and, on my life, I swear 240 My ends are good.

Lov. On my soul, so are mine To Margaret; but leave both to the event: And since this friendly privacy does serve But as an offer’d means unto ourselves, To search each other farther, you having shewn Your care of me, I my respect to you, 245 Deny me not, but still in chaste words, madam, An afternoon’s discourse.

L. All. So I shall hear you. [Exeunt.]

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Act IV, Scene II — [4093]

[Enter] TAPWELL, and FROTH.

Tap. Undone, undone! this was your counsel, Froth.

Froth. Mine! I defy thee. Did not Master Marrall (He has marr’d all, I am sure) strictly command us, On pain of Sir Giles Overreach’ displeasure, To turn the gentleman out of doors?

Tap. ’Tis true; 5 But now he’s his uncle’s darling, and has got Master Justice Greedy, since he fill’d his belly, At his commandment, to do anything. Woe, woe to us!

Froth. He may prove merciful. 9

Tap. Troth, we do not deserve it at his hands. Though he knew all the passages of our house, As the receiving of stolen goods, and bawdry, When he was rogue Wellborn no man would believe him, And then his information could not hurt us; But now he is right worshipful again, 15 Who dares but doubt his testimony? Methinks, I see thee, Froth, already in a cart, For a close[4094] bawd, thine eyes ev’n pelted out With dirt and rotten eggs; and my hand hissing If I scape the halter, with the letter R[4095] 20 Printed upon it.

Froth. Would that were the worst! That were but nine days’ wonder: as for credit, We have none to lose, but we shall lose the money He owes us, and his custom; there ’s the hell on ’t.

Tap. He has summon’d all his creditors by the drum, 25 And they swarm about him like so many soldiers On the pay day: and has found out such A NEW WAY TO PAY HIS OLD DEBTS, as ’t is very likely He shall be chronicled for it!

Froth. He deserves it More than ten pageants. But are you sure his worship 30 Comes this way, to my lady’s?

A cry within: Brave Master Wellborn!

Tap. Yes:—I hear him.

Froth. Be ready with your petition and present it To his good grace.

Enter WELLBORN in a rich habit, [MARRALL,] GREEDY, ORDER, FURNACE, and Creditors; TAPWELL kneeling, delivers his bill of debt.

Well. How’s this? Petition’d to? But note what miracles the payment of A little trash, and a rich suit of clothes, 35 Can work upon these rascals! I shall be, I think, Prince Wellborn.

Mar. When your worship’s married, You may be—I know what I hope to see you.

Well. Then look thou for advancement.

Mar. To be known Your worship’s bailiff, is the mark I shoot at.

Well. And thou shalt hit it.

Mar. Pray you, sir, despatch 41 These needy followers, and for my admittance,[4096] Provided you ’ll defend me from Sir Giles, Whose service I am weary of, I ’ll say something You shall give thanks for.

Well. Fear me not Sir Giles.[4097] 45

Greedy. Who, Tapwell? I remember thy wife brought me Last new-year’s tide, a couple of fat turkeys.

Tap. And shall do every Christmas, let your worship But stand my friend now.

Greedy. How! with Master Wellborn? I can do anything with him on such terms.— See you this honest couple; they are good souls 51 As ever drew out faucet; have they not A pair of honest faces?

Well. I o’erheard you, And the bribe he promis’d. You are cozen’d in them; For, by all the scum that grew rich by my riots, This, for a most unthankful knave, and this, 55 For a base bawd and whore, have worst deserv’d me, And therefore speak not for ’em. By your place You are rather to do me justice. Lend me your ear; —Forget his turkeys, and call in his license, 60 And, at the next fair, I ’ll give you a yoke of oxen Worth all his poultry.

Greedy. I am chang’d on the sudden In my opinion! Come near; nearer, rascal. And, now I view him better, did you e’er see One look so like an archknave? His very countenance, 65 Should an understanding judge but look upon him, Would hang him, though he were innocent.

Tap. Froth. Worshipful sir.

Greedy. No, though the great Turk came, instead of turkeys, To beg my favour, I am inexorable. Thou hast an ill name: besides thy musty ale, 70 That hath destroy’d many of the king’s liege people, Thou never hadst in thy house, to stay men’s stomachs, A piece of Suffolk cheese or gammon of bacon, Or any esculent, as the learned call it, For their emolument, but sheer drink only, 75 For which gross fault I here do damn thy license, Forbidding thee ever to tap or draw; For, instantly, I will, in mine own person, Command the constable to pull down thy sign, And do it before I eat.

Froth. No mercy?

Greedy. Vanish! 80 If I shew any, may my promis’d oxen gore me!

Tap. Unthankful knaves are ever so rewarded. Exeunt GREEDY, TAPWELL, and FROTH.

Well. Speak, what are you?

1 Cred. A decay’d vintner, sir, That might have thriv’d, but that your worship broke me With trusting you with muscadine[4098] and eggs, And five pound suppers, with your after drinkings, 85 When you lodg’d upon the Bankside.

Well. I remember.

1 Cred. I have not been hasty, nor e’er laid to arrest you; And therefore, sir——

Well. Thou art an honest fellow, I’ll set thee up again; see his bill paid.— 90 What are you?

2 Cred. A tailor once, but now mere botcher.[4099] I gave you credit for a suit of clothes, Which was all my stock, but you failing in payment, I was remov’d from the shopboard, and confin’d Under a stall.

Well. See him paid;—and botch no more. 95

2 Cred. I ask no interest, sir.

Well. Such tailors need not; If their bills are paid in one and twenty year, They are seldom losers.—O, I know thy face, [To Creditor.] Thou wert my surgeon. You must tell no tales; Those days are done. I will pay you in private.

Ord. A royal gentleman!

Furn. Royal as an emperor! 101 He’ll prove a brave master; my good lady knew To choose a man.

Well. See all men else discharg’d; And since old debts are clear’d by a new way, A little bounty will not misbecome me; 105 There’s something, honest cook, for thy good breakfasts; And this, for your respect: [to ORDER] take’t, ’t is good gold, And I able to spare it.

Ord. You are too munificent.

Furn. He was ever so.

Well. Pray you, on before.

3 Cred. Heaven bless you!

Mar. At four o’clock; the rest know where to meet me. 110 Exeunt ORDER, FURNACE, and Creditors.

Well. Now, Master Marrall, what’s the weighty secret You promis’d to impart?

Mar. Sir, time nor place Allow me to relate each circumstance; This only, in a word: I know Sir Giles Will come upon you for security 115 For his thousand pounds, which you must not consent to. As he grows in heat, as I am sure he will, Be you but rough, and say he’s in your debt Ten times the sum, upon sale of your land; I had a hand in’t (I speak it to my shame) 120 When you were defeated[4100] of it.

Well. That’s forgiven.

Mar. I shall deserve’t. Then urge him to produce The deed in which you pass’d it over to him, Which I know he’ll have about him, to deliver To the Lord Lovell, with many other writings, 125 And present monies; I’ll instruct you further, As I wait on your worship. If I play not my prize To your full content, and your uncle’s much vexation, Hang up Jack Marrall.

Well. I rely upon thee. Exeunt.

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Act IV, Scene III — [4101]

Enter ALLWORTH and MARGARET.

All. Whether to yield the first praise to my lord’s Unequall’d temperance or your constant sweetness That I yet live, my weak hands fasten’d on Hope’s anchor, spite of all storms of despair, I yet rest doubtful.

Marg. Give it to Lord Lovell: 5 For what in him was bounty, in me’s duty. I make but payment of a debt to which My vows, in that high office regist’red, Are faithful witnesses.

All. ’T is true, my dearest: Yet, when I call to mind how many fair ones 10 Make wilful shipwrecks of their faiths, and oaths To God and man, to fill the arms of greatness, And you rise up [no][4102] less than a glorious star, To the amazement of the world,—hold out Against the stern authority of a father, 15 And spurn at honour when it comes to court you; I am so tender of your good, that faintly, With your wrong, I can wish myself that right You yet are pleas’d to do me.

Marg. Yet, and ever. To me what’s title, when content is wanting? 20 Or wealth, rak’d up together with much care. And to be kept with more, when the heart pines In being dispossess’d of what it longs for Beyond the Indian mines? or the smooth brow Of a pleas’d sire, that slaves me to his will, 25 And, so his ravenous humour may be feasted By my obedience, and he see me great, Leaves to my soul nor faculties nor power To make her own election?

All. But the dangers That follow the repulse——

Marg. To me they are nothing; 30 Let Allworth love, I cannot be unhappy. Suppose the worst, that, in his rage, he kill me, A tear or two, by you dropt on my hearse In sorrow for my fate, will call back life So far as but to say, that I die yours; 35 I then shall rest in peace: or should he prove So cruel, as one death would not suffice His thirst of vengeance, but with ling’ring torments In mind and body I must waste to air, In poverty join’d with banishment; so you share 40 In my afflictions, which I dare not wish you, So high I prize you, I could undergo ’em With such a patience as should look down With scorn on his worst malice.

All. Heaven avert Such trials of your true affection to me! 45 Nor will it unto you, that are all mercy, Shew so much rigour: but since we must run Such desperate hazards, let us do our best To steer between them.

Marg. Your lord’s ours, and sure: And, though but a young actor, second me 50 In doing to the life what he has plotted. Enter OVERREACH [behind]. The end may yet prove happy. Now, my Allworth— [Seeing her father.]

All. To your letter, and put on a seeming anger.

Marg. I’ll pay my lord all debts due to his title; And when with terms, not taking from his honour, 55 He does solicit me, I shall gladly hear him. But in this peremptory, nay, commanding way, To appoint a meeting, and without my knowledge, A priest to tie the knot can ne’er be undone Till death unloose it, is a confidence 60 In his lordship will deceive him.

All. I hope better, Good lady.

Marg. Hope, sir, what you please: for me I must take a safe and secure course; I have A father, and without his full consent, Though all lords of the land kneel’d for my favor, 65 I can grant nothing.

Over. I like this obedience: [Comes forward.] But whatso’er my lord writes, must and shall be Accepted and embrac’d. Sweet Master Allworth, You shew yourself a true and faithful servant To your good lord; he has a jewel of you. 70 How! frowning, Meg? Are these looks to receive A messenger from my lord? What ’s this? Give me it.

Marg. A piece of arrogant paper, like th’ inscriptions.

Over. (reads.) “Fair mistress, from your servant learn all joys That we can hope for, if deferr’d, prove toys;[4103] Therefore this instant, and in private, meet 76 A husband, that will gladly at your feet Lay down his honours, tend’ring them to you With all content, the church being paid her due.” —Is this the arrogant piece of paper? Fool! 80 Will you still be one? In the name of madness what Could his good honour write more to content you? Is there aught else to be wish’d, after these two, That are already offer’d; marriage first, And lawful pleasure after: what would you more? 85

Marg. Why, sir, I would be married like your daughter; Not hurried away i’ th’ night I know not whither, Without all ceremony; no friends invited To honour the solemnity.

All. An ’t please your honour, For so before to-morrow I must style you, 90 My lord desires this privacy, in respect His honourable kinsmen are afar off, And his desires to have it done brook not So long delay as to expect[4104] their coming; And yet he stands resolv’d, with all due pomp, 95 As running at the ring, plays, masques, and tilting, To have his marriage at court celebrated, When he has brought your honour up to London.

Over. He tells you true: ’t is the fashion, on my knowledge: Yet the good lord, to please your peevishness, 100 Must put it off, forsooth! and lose a night, In which perhaps he might get two boys on thee. Tempt me no further, if you do, this goad [Points to his sword.] Shall prick you to him.

Marg. I could be contented, Were you but by, to do a father’s part, 105 And give me in the church.

Over. So my lord have you, What do I care who gives you? Since my lord Does purpose to be private, I ’ll not cross him. I know not, Master Allworth, how my lord May be provided, and therefore there’s a purse 110 Of gold, ’t will serve this night’s expense; tomorrow I ’ll furnish him with any sums. In the mean time, Use my ring to my chaplain; he is benefic’d At my manor of Gotham, and call’d Parson Willdo. ’T is no matter for a licence, I ’ll bear him out in ’t; 115

Marg. With your favour, sir, what warrant is your ring? He may suppose I got that twenty ways, Without your knowledge; and then to be refus’d Were such a stain upon me!—If you pleas’d, sir, Your presence would do better.

Over. Still perverse! 120 I say again, I will not cross my lord; Yet I ’ll prevent[4105] you too.—Paper and ink, there!

All. I can furnish you.

Over. I thank you, I can write then. Writes on his book.

All. You may, if you please, put out the name of my lord, In respect he comes disguis’d, and only write, 125 “Marry her to this gentleman.”

Over. Well advis’d. ’T is done; away;—(MARGARET kneels.) My blessing, girl? Thou hast it. Nay, no reply, be gone.—Good Master Allworth, This shall be the best night’s work you ever made.

All. I hope so, sir. 130

Exeunt ALLWORTH and MARGARET.

Over. Farewell!—Now all ’s cocksure: Methinks I hear already knights and ladies Say, Sir Giles Overreach, how is it with Your honourable daughter? Has her honour Slept well to-night? or, will her honour please 135 To accept this monkey, dog, or paraquit[4106] (This is state in ladies), or my eldest son To be her page, and wait upon her trencher? My ends, my ends are compass’d!—then for Wellborn And the lands: were he once married to the widow, 140 I have him here.—I can scarce contain myself, I am so full of joy, nay, joy all over. Exit.

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Act V, Scene I — [4107]

[Enter LORD] LOVELL, LADY ALLWORTH, and AMBLE.

L. All. By this you know how strong the motives were That did, my lord, induce me to dispense A little with my gravity to advance, In personating some few favours to him, The plots and projects of the down-trod Wellborn. 5 Nor shall I e’er repent, although I suffer In some few men’s opinions for ’t, the action: For he that ventur’d all for my dear husband Might justly claim an obligation from me To pay him such a courtesy; which had I 10 Coyly or over-curiously[4108] denied, It might have argu’d me of little love To the deceas’d.

Lov. What you intended, madam, For the poor gentleman hath found good success; For, as I understand, his debts are paid, 15 And he once more furnished for fair employment: But all the arts that I have us’d to raise The fortunes of your joy and mine, young Allworth, Stand yet in supposition, though I hope well; For the young lovers are in wit more pregnant Than their years can promise; and for their desires, 21 On my knowledge, they are equal.

L. All. As my wishes Are with yours, my lord; yet give me leave to fear The building, though well grounded: to deceive Sir Giles, that’s both a lion and a fox 25 In his proceedings, were a work beyond The strongest undertakers; not the trial Of two weak innocents.

Lov. Despair not, madam: Hard things are compass’d oft by easy means; And judgment, being a gift deriv’d from Heaven, 30 Though sometimes lodg’d i’ th’ hearts of worldly men, That ne’er consider from whom they receive it, Forsakes such as abuse the giver of it. Which is the reason that the politic And cunning statesman, that believes he fathoms 35 The counsels of all kingdoms on the earth, Is by simplicity oft over-reach’d.

L. All. May he be so! Yet, in his name to express it, Is a good omen.

Lov. May it to myself Prove so, good lady, in my suit to you! 40 What think you of the motion?

L. All. Troth, my lord, My own unworthiness may answer for me; For had you, when that I was in my prime, My virgin flower uncropp’d, presented me With this great favour; looking on my lowness Not in a glass of self-love, but of truth, 46 I could not but have thought it as a blessing Far, far beyond my merit.

Lov. You are too modest, And undervalue that which is above My title, or whatever I call mine. 50 I grant, were I a Spaniard, to marry A widow might disparage me; but being A true-born Englishman, I cannot find How it can taint my honour: nay, what ’s more, That which you think a blemish is to me 55 The fairest lustre. You already, madam, Have given sure proofs how dearly you can cherish A husband that deserves you; which confirms me That, if I am not wanting in my care To do you service, you ’ll be still the same 60 That you were to your Allworth: in a word, Our years, our states, our births are not unequal, You being descended nobly, and alli’d so; If then you may be won to make me happy, But join your lips to mine, and that shall be 65 A solemn contract.

L. All. I were blind to my own good Should I refuse it; [kisses him] yet, my lord, receive me As such a one, the study of whose whole life Shall know no other object but to please you.

Lov. If I return not, with all tenderness, 70 Equal respect to you, may I die wretched!

L. All. There needs no protestation, my lord. To her that cannot doubt,— Enter WELLBORN [handsomely apparelled.] You are welcome, sir. Now you look like yourself.

Well. And will continue Such in my free acknowledgment that I am 75 Your creature, madam, and will never hold My life mine own, when you please to command it.

Lov. It is a thankfulness that well becomes you. You could not make choice of a better shape To dress your mind in.

L. All. For me, I am happy 80 That my endeavours prosper’d. Saw you of late Sir Giles, your uncle?

Well. I heard of him, madam, By his minister, Marrall; he ’s grown into strange passions About his daughter. This last night he look’d for Your lordship at his house, but missing you, 85 And she not yet appearing, his wise head Is much perplex’d and troubl’d.

Lov. It may be, Sweetheart, my project took.

L. All. I strongly hope.

Over. [within.] Ha! find her, booby, thou huge lump of nothing, I ’ll bore thine eyes out else.

Well. May it please your lordship, 90 For some ends of mine own, but to withdraw A little out of sight, though not of hearing, You may, perhaps, have sport.

Lov. You shall direct me. Steps aside.

Enter OVERREACH, with distracted looks, driving in MARRALL before him [with a box].[4109]

Over. I shall sol fa you, rogue!

Mar. Sir, for what cause Do you use me thus?

Over. Cause, slave! Why, I am angry, 95 And thou a subject only fit for beating, And so to cool my choler. Look to the writing; Let but the seal be broke upon the box That hast slept in my cabinet these three years, I ’ll rack thy soul for ’t.

Mar. (Aside.) I may yet cry quittance, 100 Though now I suffer, and dare not resist.

Over. Lady, by your leave, did you see my daughter lady? And the lord her husband? Are they in your house? If they are, discover, that I may bid ’em joy; And, as an entrance to her place of honour, 105 See your ladyship be on her left hand, and make courtesies When she nods on you; which you must receive As a special favour.

L. All. When I know, Sir Giles, Her state requires such ceremony, I shall pay it; But in the meantime, as I am myself, 110 I give you to understand, I neither know Nor care where her honour is.

Over. When you once see her Supported, and led by the lord her husband, You ’ll be taught better.——Nephew.

Well. Sir.

Over. No more?

Well. ’T is all I owe you.

Over. Have your redeem’d rags 115 Made you thus insolent?

Well. (in scorn.) Insolent to you! Why, what are you, sir, unless in your years, At the best, more than myself?

Over. [Aside.] His fortune swells him. ’T is rank[4110] he ’s married.

L. All. This is excellent!

Over. Sir, in calm language, though I seldom use it, 120 I am familiar with the cause that makes you Bear up thus bravely; there ’s a certain buzz Of a stol’n marriage, do you hear? of a stol’n marriage, In which, ’t is said, there ’s somebody hath been cozen’d; I name no parties.

Well. Well, sir, and what follows? 125

Over. Marry, this; since you are peremptory. Remember, Upon mere hope of your great match, I lent you A thousand pounds: put me in good security, And suddenly, by mortgage or by statute, 129 Of some of your new possessions, or I ’ll have you Dragg’d in your lavender robes[4111] to the goal. You know me, And therefore do not trifle.

Well. Can you be So cruel to your nephew, now he ’s in The way to rise? Was this the courtesy You did me “in pure love, and no ends else?”

Over. End me no ends! Engage the whole estate, 136 And force your spouse to sign it, you shall have Three or four thousand more, to roar and swagger And revel in bawdy taverns.

Well. And beg after; Mean you not so?

Over. My thoughts are mine, and free. 140 Shall I have security?

Well. No, indeed, you shall not, Nor bond, nor bill, nor bare acknowledgment; Your great looks fright not me.

Over. But my deeds shall. Outbrav’d! Both draw.

L. All. Help, murder! murder!

Enter Servants.

Well. Let him come on. With all his wrongs and injuries about him, 145 Arm’d with his cut-throat practices to guard him; The right that I bring with me will defend me, And punish his extortion.

Over. That I had thee But single in the field!

L. All. You may; but make not My house your quarrelling scene.

Over. Were ’t in a church, 150 By Heaven and Hell, I ’ll do ’t!

Mar. Now put him to The shewing of the deed. [Aside to WELLBORN.]

Well. This rage is vain, sir; For fighting, fear not, you shall have your hands full, Upon the least incitement; and whereas You charge me with a debt of a thousand pounds, 155 If there be law, (howe’er you have no conscience,) Either restore my land or I ’ll recover A debt, that ’s truly due to me from you, In value ten times more than what you challenge.

Over. I in thy debt! O impudence! did I not purchase 160 The land left by thy father, that rich land, That had continued in Wellborn’s name Twenty descents; which, like a riotous fool, Thou didst make sale of it? Is not here inclos’d The deed that does confirm it mine?

Mar. Now, now! 165

Well. I do acknowledge none; I ne’er pass’d o’er Any such land. I grant for a year or two You had it in trust; which if you do discharge, Surrend’ring the possession, you shall ease Yourself and me of chargeable suits in law, 170 Which, if you prove not honest, as I doubt it, Must of necessity follow.

L. All. In my judgment, He does advise you well.

Over. Good! good! Conspire With your new husband, lady; second him In his dishonest practices; but when 175 This manor is extended[4112] to my use, You ’ll speak in humbler key, and sue for favour.

L. All. Never: do not hope it.

Well. Let despair first seize me.

Over. Yet, to shut up thy mouth, and make thee give Thyself the lie, the loud lie, I draw out 180 The precious evidence; if thou canst forswear Thy hand and seal, and make a forfeit of Opens the box [and displays the bond]. Thy ears to the pillory, see! here ’s that will make My interest clear—ha!

L. All. A fair skin of parchment.

Well. Indented, I confess, and labels too; 185 But neither wax nor words. How! thunderstruck? Not a syllable to insult with? My wise uncle, Is this your precious evidence? Is this that makes Your interest clear?

Over. I am o’erwhelm’d with wonder! What prodigy is this? What subtle devil 190 Hath raz’d out the inscription, the wax Turn’d into dust? The rest of my deeds whole As when they were deliver’d, and this only Made nothing! Do you deal with witches, rascal? There is a statute[4113] for you, which will bring 195 Your neck in an hempen circle; yes, there is; And now ’t is better thought for, cheater, know This juggling shall not save you.

Well. To save thee Would beggar the stock of mercy.

Over. Marrall!

Mar. Sir.

Over. (flattering him.) Though the witnesses are dead, your testimony 200 Help with an oath or two: and for thy master, Thy liberal master, my good honest servant, I know thou wilt swear anything, to dash This cunning sleight: besides, I know thou art A public notary, and such stand in law 205 For a dozen witnesses: the deed being drawn too By thee, my careful Marrall, and deliver’d When thou wert present, will make good my title. Wilt thou not swear this?

Mar. I! No, I assure you: 209 I have a conscience not sear’d up like yours; I know no deeds.

Over. Wilt thou betray me?

Mar. Keep him From using of his hands, I ’ll use my tongue, To his no little torment.

Over. Mine own varlet Rebel against me!

Mar. Yes, and uncase[4114] you too. “The idiot, the patch, the slave, the booby, 215 The property fit only to be beaten For your morning exercise,” your “football,” or “Th’ unprofitable lump of flesh,” your “drudge,” Can now anatomise you, and lay open 219 All your black plots, and level with the earth Your hill of pride, and, with these gabions[4115] guarded Unload my great artillery, and shake, Nay pulverize, the walls you think defend you.

L. All. How he foams at the mouth with rage!

Well. To him again.

Over. O that I had thee in my gripe, I would tear thee 225 Joint after joint!

Mar. I know you are a tearer, But I ’ll have first your fangs par’d off, and then Come nearer to you; when I have discover’d,[4116] And made it good before the judge, what ways And devilish practices you us’d to cozen 230 With an army of whole families, who yet live, And, but enroll’d for soldiers, were able To take in[4117] Dunkirk.

Well. All will come out.

L. All. The better.

Over. But that I will live, rogue, to torture thee, 234 And make thee wish, and kneel in vain, to die, These swords that keep thee from me should fix here, Although they made my body but one wound, But I would reach thee.

Lov. (Aside.) Heaven’s hand is in this; One bandog[4118] worry the other!

Over. I play the fool, And make my anger but ridiculous; 240 There will be a time and place, there will be, cowards, When you shall feel what I dare do.

Well. I think so: You dare do any ill, yet want true valour To be honest, and repent.

Over. They are words I know not, Nor e’er will learn. Patience, the beggar’s virtue, 245 Enter GREEDY and PARSON WILLDO. Shall find no harbour here:—after these storms At length a calm appears. Welcome, most welcome! There ’s comfort in thy looks. Is the deed done? Is my daughter married? Say but so, my chaplain, And I am tame.

Willdo. Married! Yes I assure you. 250

Over. Then vanish all sad thoughts! There ’s more gold for thee. My doubts and fears are in the titles drown’d Of my honourable, my right honourable daughter.

Greedy. Here will[4119] be feasting! At least for a month I am provided: empty guts, croak no more. 255 You shall be stuff’d like bagpipes, not with wind, But bearing[4120] dishes.

Over. Instantly be here? (Whispering to WILLDO.) To my wish! to my wish! Now you that plot against me, And hop’d to trip my heels up, that contemn’d me, Think on ’t and tremble.—(Loud music)—They come! I hear the music. 260 A lane there for my lord!

Well. This sudden heat May yet be cool’d, sir.

Over. Make way there for my lord!

Enter ALLWORTH and MARGARET.

Marg. Sir, first your pardon, then your blessing, with Your full allowance of the choice I have made. As ever you could make use of your reason, Kneeling. 265 Grow not in passion; since you may as well Call back the day that ’s past, as untie the knot Which is too strongly fasten’d. Not to dwell Too long on words, this is my husband.

Over. How! 269

All. So I assure you; all the rites of marriage, With every circumstance, are past. Alas! sir, Although I am no lord, but a lord’s page, Your daughter and my lov’d wife mourns not for it: And, for right honourable son-in-law, you may say, Your dutiful daughter.

Over. Devil! are they married? 275

Willdo. Do a father’s part, and say, “Heaven give ’em joy!”

Over. Confusion and ruin! Speak, and speak quickly, Or thou art dead.

Willdo. They are married.

Over. Thou hadst better Have made a contract with the king of fiends, Than these:—my brain turns!

Willdo. Why this rage to me? 280 Is not this your letter, sir, and these the words? “Marry her to this gentleman.”

Over. It cannot— Nor will I e’er believe it; ’sdeath! I will not; That I, that in all passages I touch’d At worldly profit have not left a print 285 Where I have trod for the most curious search To trace my footsteps, should be gull’d by children, Baffl’d and fool’d, and all my hopes and labours Defeated and made void.

Well. As it appears, You are so, my grave uncle.

Over. Village nurses 290 Revenge their wrongs with curses; I ’ll not waste A syllable, but thus I take the life Which, wretched, I gave to thee. Offers to kill MARGARET.

Lov. [coming forward.] Hold, for your own sake! Though charity to your daughter hath quite left you, 295 Will you do an act, though in your hopes lost here, Can leave no hope for peace or rest hereafter? Consider; at the best you are but a man. And cannot so create your aims but that They may be cross’d.

Over. Lord! thus I spit at thee, 300 And at thy counsel; and again desire thee, And as thou art a soldier, if thy valour Dares shew itself where multitude and example Lead not the way, let’s quit the house, and change Six words in private.

Lov. I am ready.

L. All. Stay, sir, 305 Contest with one distracted!

Well. You ’ll grow like him, Should you answer his vain challenge.

Over. Are you pale? Borrow his help, though Hercules call it odds, I ’ll stand against both as I am, hemm’d in thus. Since, like a Libyan lion in the toil, 310 My fury cannot reach the coward hunters, And only spends itself, I ’ll quit the place. Alone I can do nothing; but I have servants And friends to second me; and if I make not This house a heap of ashes (by my wrongs, 315 What I have spoke I will make good!) or leave One throat uncut,—if it be possible, Hell, add to my afflictions! Exit.

Mar. Is ’t not brave sport?

Greedy. Brave sport! I am sure it has ta’en away my stomach; I do not like the sauce.

All. Nay, weep not, dearest, 320 Though it express your pity; what ’s decreed Above, we cannot alter.

L. All. His threats move me No scruple, madam.

Mar. Was it not a rare trick An it please your worship, to make the deed nothing? I can do twenty neater, if you please 325 To purchase and grow rich, for I will be Such a solicitor and steward for you, As never worshipful had.

Well. I do believe thee; But first discover the quaint[4121] means you us’d To raze out the conveyance?

Mar. They are mysteries 330 Not to be spoke in public: certain minerals Incorporated in the ink and wax— Besides, he gave me nothing, but still fed me With hopes and blows; but that was the inducement 334 To this conundrum. If it please your worship To call to memory, this mad beast once caus’d me To urge you or to drown or hang yourself; I ’ll do the like to him, if you command me.

Well. You are a rascal! He that dares be false 339 To a master, though unjust, will ne’er be true To any other. Look not for reward Or favour from me; I will shun thy sight As I would do a basilisk’s. Thank my pity If thou keep thy ears; howe’er, I will take order Your practice shall be silenc’d.

Greedy. I ’ll commit him, 345 If you ’ll have me, sir.

Well. That were to little purpose; His conscience be his prison. Not a word, But instantly be gone.

Ord. Take this kick with you.

Amb. And this.

Furn. If that I had my cleaver here, I would divide your knave’s head.

Mar. This is the haven 350 False servants still arrive at. Exit.

Re-enter OVERREACH.

L. All. Come again!

Lov. Fear not, I am your guard.

Well. His looks are ghastly.

Willdo. Some little time I have spent, under your favours, In physical studies, and if my judgment err not, He ’s mad beyond recovery: but observe him, And look to yourselves.

Over. Why, is not the whole world Included in myself? To what use then 357 Are friends and servants? Say there were a squadron Of pikes, lin’d through with shot, when I am mounted Upon my injuries, shall I fear to charge ’em? No: I ’ll through the battalia, and, that routed, Flourishing his sword sheathed.[4122] I ’ll fall to execution—Ha! I am feeble: 362 Some undone widow sits upon mine arm, And takes away the use of ’t; and my sword, Glu’d to my scabbard with wronged orphans’ tears, 365 Will not be drawn. Ha! what are these? Sure, hangmen That come to bind my hands, and then to drag me Before the judgment-seat: now they are new shapes, And do appear like Furies, with steel whips 369 To scourge my ulcerous soul. Shall I then fall Ingloriously, and yield? No; spite of Fate, I will be forc’d to hell like to myself. Though you were legions of accursed spirits, Thus would I fly among you. [Rushes forward and flings himself on the ground.]

Well. There ’s no help; Disarm him first, then bind him.

Greedy. Take a mittimus.[4123] 375 And carry him to Bedlam.

Lov. How he foams!

Well. And bites the earth!

Willdo. Carry him to some dark room, There try what art can do for his recovery.

Marg. O my dear father! They force OVERREACH off.

All. You must be patient, mistress.

Lov. Here is a precedent to teach wicked men 380 That when they leave religion, and turn atheists, Their own abilities leave ’em. Pray you take comfort, I will endeavour you shall be his guardians In his distractions: and for your land, Master Wellborn, Be it good or ill in law, I ’ll be an umpire 385 Between you, and this, th’ undoubted heir Of Sir Giles Overreach. For me, here ’s the anchor That I must fix on.

All. What you shall determine, My lord, I will allow of.

Well. ’T is the language 389 That I speak too; but there is something else Beside the repossession of my land, And payment of my debts, that I must practise. I had a reputation, but ’t was lost In my loose course, and until I redeem it Some noble way, I am but half made up. 395 It is a time of action; if your lordship Will please to confer a company upon me In your command, I doubt not in my service To my king and country but I shall do something That may make me right again.

Lov. Your suit is granted 400 And you lov’d for the motion.

Well. [coming forward.] Nothing wants then But your allowance—

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The Epilogue

But your allowance, and in that our all Is comprehended; it being known, nor we, Nor he that wrote the comedy, can be free 405 Without your manumission; which if you Grant willingly, as a fair favour due To the poet’s and our labours, (as you may, For we despair not, gentlemen, of the play.) We jointly shall profess your grace hath might To teach us action, and him how to write. [Exeunt.] 411

THE BROKEN HEART

BY JOHN FORD

THE SPEAKERS’ NAMES FITTED TO THEIR QUALITIES

AMYCLAS, Common to the Kings of Laconia. ITHOCLES, Honour of loveliness, a Favourite. ORGILUS, Angry, son to Crotolon. BASSANES, Vexation, a jealous Nobleman. ARMOSTES, an Appeaser, a Councillor of State. CROTOLON, Noise, another Councillor. PROPHILUS, Dear, Friend to Ithocles. NEARCHUS, Young Prince, Prince of Argos. TECNICUS, Artist, a Philosopher. HEMOPHIL, Glutton, } GRONEAS, Tavern-haunter,} two Courtiers. AMELUS, Trusty, Friend to Nearchus. PHULAS, Watchful, Servant to Bassanes. Lords, Courtiers, Officers, Attendants, etc.

CALANTHA, Flower of beauty, the King’s Daughter. PENTHEA, Complaint, Sister to Ithocles [and Wife to Bassanes]. EUPHRANEA, Joy, a Maid of honour [Daughter to Crotolon]. CHRISTALLA, Christal, } PHILEMA, A Kiss, } Maids of honour. GRAUSIS,[4124] Old Beldam, Overseer of Penthea.

PERSONS INCLUDED.

THRASUS, Fierceness, Father of Ithocles. APLOTES, Simplicity, Orgilus so disguised.

SCENE—Sparta.

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Prologue

Our scene is Sparta. He whose best of art Hath drawn this piece calls it THE BROKEN HEART. The title lends no expectation here Of apish laughter, or of some lame jeer At place or persons; no pretended clause Of jests fit for a brothel courts applause From vulgar admiration: such low songs, Tun’d to unchaste ears, suit not modest tongues. The Virgin Sisters then deserv’d fresh bays When Innocence and Sweetness crown’d their lays; Then vices gasp’d for breath, whose whole commerce Was whipp’d to exile by unblushing verse. This law we keep in our presentment now, Not to take freedom more than we allow; What may be here thought fiction,[4125] when time’s youth Wanted some riper years, was known a truth: In which, if words have cloth’d the subject right, You may partake a pity with delight.

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Act I, Scene I — [4126]

Enter CROTOLON and ORGILUS.

Crot. Dally not further; I will know the reason That speeds thee to this journey.

Org. Reason! good sir, I can yield many.

Crot. Give me one, a good one; Such I expect, and ere we part must have. Athens! Pray, why to Athens? You intend not 5 To kick against the world, turn cynic, stoic, Or read the logic lecture, or become An Areopagite,[4127] and judge in cases Touching the commonwealth; for, as I take it, The budding of your chin cannot prognosticate So grave an honour.

Org. All this I acknowledge. 11

Crot. You do! Then, son, if books and love of knowledge Inflame you to this travel, here in Sparta You may as freely study.

Org. ’T is not that, sir.

Crot. Not that, sir! As a father, I command thee 15 To acquaint me with the truth.

Org. Thus I obey ye. After so many quarrels as dissension, Fury, and rage had broacht in blood, and sometimes With death to such confederates as sided With now-dead Thrasus and yourself, my lord; Our present king, Amyclas, reconcil’d 21 Your eager swords and seal’d a gentle peace: Friends you profest yourselves; which to confirm, A resolution for a lasting league Betwixt your families was entertain’d, 25 By joining in a Hymenean bond Me and the fair Penthea, only daughter To Thrasus.

Crot. What of this?

Org. Much, much, dear sir. A freedom of converse, an interchange Of holy and chaste love, so fixt our souls 30 In a firm growth of union, that no time Can eat into the pledge: we had enjoy’d The sweets our vows expected, had not cruelty Prevented all those triumphs we prepar’d for, By Thrasus his untimely death.

Crot. Most certain. 35

Org. From this time sprouted up that poisonous stalk Of aconite, whose ripened fruit hath ravisht All health, all comfort of a happy life; For Ithocles, her brother, proud of youth, And prouder in his power, nourisht closely 40 The memory of former discontents, To glory in revenge. By cunning partly, Partly by threats, ’a woos at once and forces His virtuous sister to admit a marriage With Bassanes, a nobleman, in honour 45 And riches, I confess, beyond my fortunes.

Crot. All this is no sound reason to importune My leave for thy departure.

Org. Now it follows. Beauteous Penthea, wedded to this torture By an insulting brother, being secretly 50 Compell’d to yield her virgin freedom up To him who never can usurp her heart, Before contracted mine, is now so yok’d To a most barbarous thraldrom, misery, Affliction, that he savours not humanity, 55 Whose sorrow melts not into more than pity In hearing but her name.

Crot. As how, pray?

Org. Bassanes, The man that calls her wife, considers truly What heaven of perfections he is lord of By thinking fair Penthea his: this thought 60 Begets a kind of monster-love, which love Is nurse unto a fear so strong and servile As brands all dotage with a jealousy: All eyes who gaze upon that shrine of beauty He doth resolve[4128] do homage to the miracle; 65 Some one, he is assur’d, may now or then, If opportunity but sort,[4129] prevail. So much, out of a self-unworthiness, His fears transport him; not that he finds cause In her obedience, but his own distrust. 70

Crot. You spin out your discourse.

Org. My griefs are violent: For knowing how the maid was heretofore Courted by me, his jealousies grow wild That I should steal again into her favours, And undermine her virtues; which the gods 75 Know I nor dare nor dream of. Hence, from hence I undertake a voluntary exile; First, by my absence to take off the cares Of jealous Bassanes; but chiefly, sir, To free Penthea from a hell on earth; 80 Lastly, to lose the memory of something Her presence makes to live in me afresh.

Crot. Enough, my Orgilus, enough. To Athens, I give a full consent.—Alas, good lady!— We shall hear from thee often?

Org. Often.

Crot. See, 85 Thy sister comes to give a farewell.

Enter EUPHRANEA.

Euph. Brother!

Org. Euphranea, thus upon thy cheeks I print A brother’s kiss; more careful of thine honour, Thy health, and thy well-doing, than my life. Before we part, in presence of our father, 90 I must prefer a suit t’ ye.

Euph. You may style it, My brother, a command.

Org. That you will promise To pass never to any man, however Worthy, your faith, till, with our father’s leave, I give a free consent.

Crot. An easy motion! 95 I ’ll promise for her, Orgilus.

Org. Your pardon; Euphranea’s oath must yield me satisfaction.

Euph. By Vesta’s sacred fires I swear.

Crot. And I, By Great Apollo’s beams, join in the vow, Not without thy allowance to bestow her 100 On any living.

Org. Dear Euphranea, Mistake me not: far, far ’t is from my thought, As far from any wish of mine, to hinder Preferment to an honourable bed Or fitting fortune; thou art young and handsome; 105 And ’t were injustice,—more, a tyranny,— Not to advance thy merit. Trust me, sister, It shall be my first care to see thee match’d As may become thy choice and our contents. 109 I have your oath.

Euph. You have. But mean you, brother, To leave us, as you say?

Crot. Ay, ay, Euphranea; He has just grounds direct him. I will prove A father and a brother to thee.

Euph. Heaven Does look into the secrets of all hearts: Gods, you have mercy with ye, else—

Crot. Doubt nothing; 115 Thy brother will return in safety to us.

Org. Souls sunk in sorrows never are without ’em; They change fresh airs, but bear their griefs about ’em. Exeunt omnes.

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Act I, Scene II — [4130]

Flourish. Enter AMYCLAS the King, ARMOSTES, PROPHILUS, [Courtiers,] and Attendants.

Amy. The Spartan gods are gracious; our humility Shall bend before their altars, and perfume Their temples with abundant sacrifice. See, lords, Amyclas, your old king, is ent’ring Into his youth again! I shall shake off 5 This silver badge of age, and change this snow For hairs as gay as are Apollo’s locks; Our heart leaps in new vigour.

Arm. May old time Run back to double your long life, great sir!

Amy. It will, it must, Armostes: thy bold nephew, 10 Death-braving Ithocles, brings to our gates Triumphs and peace upon his conquering sword. Laconia is a monarchy at length; Hath in this latter war trod under foot Messene’s pride; Messene bows her neck 15 To Lacedaemon’s royalty. O, ’t was A glorious victory, and doth deserve More than a chronicle—a temple, lords, A temple to the name of Ithocles.— Where didst thou leave him, Prophilus?

Pro. At Pephon, 20 Most gracious sovereign; twenty of the noblest Of the Messenians there attend your pleasure, For such conditions as you shall propose In settling peace, and liberty of life.

Amy. When comes your friend, the general?

Pro. He promis’d 25 To follow with all speed convenient.

Enter CALANTHA, EUPHRANEA; CHRISTALLA and PHILEMA [with a garland;] and CROTOLON.

Amy. Our daughter!—Dear Calantha, the happy news, The conquest of Messene, hath already Enrich’d thy knowledge.

Cal. With the circumstance And manner of the fight, related faithfully 30 By Prophilus himself.—But, pray, sir, tell me How doth the youthful general demean His actions in these fortunes?

Pro. Excellent princess, Your own fair eyes may soon report a truth Unto your judgment, with what moderation, 35 Calmness of nature, measure, bounds, and limits Of thankfulness and joy, ’a doth digest Such amplitude of his success as would In others, moulded of a spirit less clear, Advance ’em to comparison with heaven: 40 But Ithocles—

Cal. Your friend—

Pro. He is so, madam, In which the period of my fate consists: He, in this firmament of honour, stands Like a star fixt, not mov’d with any thunder Of popular applause or sudden lightning 45 Of self-opinion; he hath serv’d his country, And thinks ’t was but his duty.

Crot. You describe A miracle of man.

Amy. Such, Crotolon, On forfeit of a king’s word, thou wilt find him.— Flourish. 49 Hark, warning of his coming! All attend him.

Enter ITHOCLES, HEMOPHIL, and GRONEAS; the rest of the Lords ushering him in.

Return into these arms, thy home, thy sanctuary, Delight of Sparta, treasure of my bosom, Mine own, own Ithocles!

Ith. Your humblest subject.

Arm. Proud of the blood I claim an interest in, As brother to thy mother, I embrace thee, 55 Right noble nephew.

Ith. Sir, your love ’s too partial.

Crot. Our country speaks by me, who by thy valour, Wisdom, and service, shares in this great action; Returning thee, in part of thy due merits, A general welcome.

Ith. You exceed in bounty. 60

Cal. Christalla, Philema, the chaplet, [Takes the chaplet from them.]—Ithocles, Upon the wings of Fame the singular And chosen fortune of an high attempt Is borne so past the view of common sight, That I myself with mine own hands have wrought, 65 To crown thy temples, this provincial garland:[4131] Accept, wear, and enjoy it as our gift Deserv’d, not purchas’d.

Ith. Y’ are a royal maid.

Amy. She is in all our daughter.

Ith. Let me blush, Acknowledging how poorly I have serv’d, 70 What nothings I have done, compar’d with th’ honours Heap’d on the issue of a willing mind; In that lay mine ability, that only: For who is he so sluggish from his birth, So little worthy of a name or country, 75 That owes not out of gratitude for life A debt of service, in what kind soever Safety or counsel of the commonwealth Requires, for payment?

Cal. ’A speaks truth.

Ith. Whom heaven Is pleas’d to style victorious, there to such 80 Applause runs madding, like the drunken priests In Bacchus’ sacrifices, without reason, Voicing the leader-on a demi-god; Whenas, indeed, each common soldier’s blood Drops down as current coin in that hard purchase 85 As his whose much more delicate condition Hath suckt the milk of ease: judgment commands, But resolution executes. I use not, Before this royal presence, these fit slights[4132] As in contempt of such as can direct; 90 My speech hath other end; not to attribute All praise to one man’s fortune, which is strengthen’d By many hands. For instance, here is Prophilus, A gentleman—I cannot flatter truth— Of much desert; and, though in other rank, 95 Both Hemophil and Groneas were not missing To wish their country’s peace; for, in a word, All there did strive their best, and ’t was our duty.

Amy. Courtiers turn soldiers!—We vouchsafe our hand. [HEMOPHIL and GRONEAS kiss his hand.] Observe your great example.

Hem. With all diligence. 100

Gron. Obsequiously and hourly.

Amy. Some repose After these toils is[4133] needful. We must think on Conditions for the conquered; they expect[4134] ’em. On!—Come, my Ithocles.

Euph. Sir, with your favour, I need not a supporter.

Pro. Fate instructs me. 105

Exeunt. HEMOPHIL stays CHRISTALLA; GRONEAS, PHILEMA.

Chris. With me?

Phil. Indeed, I dare not stay.

Hem. Sweet lady. Soldiers are blunt,—your lip.

Chris. Fie, this is rudeness: You went not hence such creatures.

Gro. Spirit of valour Is of a mounting nature.

Phil. It appears so.— Pray, in earnest, how many men apiece 110 Have you two been the death of?

Gro. ’Faith, not many; We were compos’d of mercy.

Hem. For our daring, You heard the general’s approbation Before the king.

Chris. You “wish’d your country’s peace;” That show’d your charity: where are your spoils, 115 Such as the soldier fights for?

Phil. They are coming.

Chris. By the next carrier, are they not?

Gro. Sweet Philema, When I was in the thickest of mine enemies, Slashing off one man’s head, another’s nose, Another’s arms and legs,—

Phil. And all together. 120

Gro. Then would I with a sigh remember thee, And cry “Dear Philema, ’t is for thy sake I do these deeds of wonder!”—Dost not love me With all thy heart now?

Phil. Now as heretofore. I have not put my love to use; the principal 125 Will hardly yield an interest.

Gro. By Mars, I ’ll marry thee!

Phil. By Vulcan, you ’re forsworn, Except my mind do alter strangely.

Gro. One word.

Chris. You lie beyond all modesty:—forbear me. 129

Hem. I ’ll make thee mistress of a city; ’t is Mine own by conquest.

Chris. By petition; sue for ’t In forma pauperis.—City! kennel.—Gallants, Off with your feathers, put on aprons, gallants; Learn to reel, thrum,[4135] or trim a lady’s dog, 134 And be good quiet souls of peace, hobgoblins!

Hem. Christalla!

Chris. Practise to drill hogs, in hope To share in the acorns.—Soldiers! corncutters, But not so valiant; they ofttimes draw blood, Which you durst never do. When you have practis’d More wit or more civility, we ’ll rank ye 140 I’ th’ list of men: till then, brave things-at-arms, Dare not to speak to us,—most potent Groneas!—

Phil. And Hemophil the hardy!—at your services.

Exeunt CHRISTALLA and PHILEMA.

Gro. They scorn us as they did before we went.

Hem. Hang ’em! let us scorn them, and be reveng’d. 145

Gro. Shall we?

Hem. We will: and when we slight them thus, Instead of following them, they’ll follow us; It is a woman’s nature.

Gro. ’T is a scurvy one. Exeunt.

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Act I, Scene III — [4136]

Enter TECNICUS, a philosopher, and ORGILUS disguised like a Scholar of his.

Tec. Tempt not the stars; young man, thou canst not play With the severity of fate: this change Of habit and disguise in outward view Hides not the secrets of thy soul within thee From their quick-piercing eyes, which dive at all times 5 Down to thy thoughts: in thy aspect I note A consequence of danger.

Org. Give me leave, Grave Tecnicus, without foredooming destiny, Under thy roof to ease my silent griefs, By applying to my hidden wounds the balm 10 Of thy oraculous lectures. If my fortune Run such a crooked by-way as to wrest My steps to ruin, yet thy learned precepts Shall call me back and set my footings straight. I will not court the world.

Tec. Ah, Orgilus, 15 Neglects in young men of delights and life Run often to extremities; they care not For harms to others who contemn their own.

Org. But I, most learned artist, am not so much At odds with nature that I grudge the thrift 20 Of any true deserver; nor doth malice Of present hopes so check them with despair As that I yield to thought of more affliction Than what is incident to frailty: wherefore Impute not this retired course of living 25 Some little time to any other cause Than what I justly render,—the information Of an unsettled mind; as the effect Must clearly witness.

Tec. Spirit of truth inspire thee! On these conditions I conceal thy change, 30 And willingly admit thee for an auditor.— I ’ll to my study.

Org. I to contemplations In these delightful walks.— Exit TECNICUS. Thus metamorphos’d I may without suspicion hearken after Penthea’s usage and Euphranea’s faith. 35 Love, thou art full of mystery! The deities Themselves are not secure[4137] in searching out The secrets of those flames, which, hidden, waste A breast made tributary to the laws Of beauty: physic yet hath never found 40 A remedy to cure a lover’s wound.— Ha! who are those that cross yon private walk Into the shadowing grove in amorous foldings?

PROPHILUS passeth over, supporting[4138] EUPHRANEA, and whispering.

My sister! O, my sister! ’t is Euphranea With Prophilus: supported too! I would 45 It were an apparition! Prophilus Is Ithocles his friend: it strangely puzzles me. Again! help me, my book; this scholar’s habit Must stand my privilege: my mind is busy, Mine eyes and ears are open. Walks by, reading.

Re-enter PROPHILUS and EUPHRANEA.

Pro. Do not waste 50 The span of this stol’n time, lent by the gods For precious use, in niceness.[4139] Bright Euphranea, Should I repeat old vows, or study new, For purchase of belief to my desires,—

Org. [Aside.] Desires!

Pro. My service, my integrity,— 55

Org. [Aside.] That ’s better.

Pro. I should but repeat a lesson Oft conn’d without a prompter but thine eyes. My love is honourable.

Org. [Aside.] So was mine To my Penthea, chastely honourable.

Pro. Nor wants there more addition to my wish 60 Of happiness than having thee a wife; Already sure of Ithocles, a friend Firm and unalterable.

Org. [Aside.] But a brother More cruel than the grave.

Euph. What can you look for, In answer to your noble protestations, 65 From an unskilful maid, but language suited To a divided mind?

Org. [Aside.] Hold out, Euphranea!

Euph. Know, Prophilus, I never undervalu’d, From the first time you mentioned worthy love, Your merit, means, or person: it had been 70 A fault of judgment in me, and a dulness In my affections, not to weigh and thank My better stars that offered me the grace Of so much blissfulness. For, to speak truth, The law of my desires kept equal pace 75 With yours; nor have I left that resolution: But only, in a word, whatever choice Lives nearest in my heart must first procure Consent both from my father and my brother, Ere he can own me his.

Org. [Aside.] She is forsworn else. 80

Pro. Leave me that task.

Euph. My brother, ere he parted To Athens, had my oath.

Org. [Aside.] Yes, yes, ’a had, sure.

Pro. I doubt not, with the means the court supplies, But to prevail at pleasure.

Org. [Aside.] Very likely!

Pro. Meantime, best, dearest, I may build my hopes 85 On the foundation of thy constant suff’rance In any opposition.

Euph. Death shall sooner Divorce life and the joys I have in living Than my chaste vows from truth.

Pro. On thy fair hand I seal the like. 90

Org. [Aside.] There is no faith in woman. Passion, O, be contain’d! My very heart-strings Are on the tenters.[4140]

Euph. Sir, we are overheard. Cupid protect us! ’T was a stirring, sir, Of some one near.

Pro. Your fears are needless, lady; 95 None have access into these private pleasures Except some near in court, or bosom-student From Tecnicus his oratory, granted By special favour lately from the king Unto the grave philosopher.

Euph. Methinks 100 I hear one talking to himself,—I see him.

Pro. ’T is a poor scholar, as I told you, lady.

Org. [Aside.] I am discovered.— [_Half aloud to himself, as if studying._] Say it; is it possible, With a smooth tongue, a leering countenance, Flattery, or force of reason—I come t’ye, sir— 105 To turn or to appease the raging sea? Answer to that.—Your art! what art to catch And hold fast in a net the sun’s small atoms? No, no; they’ll out, they’ll out: ye may as easily Outrun a cloud driven by a northern blast 110 As fiddle-faddle so! Peace, or speak sense.

Euph. Call you this thing a scholar? ’Las, he ’s lunatic.

Pro. Observe him, sweet; ’t is but his recreation.

Org. But will you hear a little? You’re so tetchy, You keep no rule in argument. Philosophy 115 Works not upon impossibilities, But natural conclusions.—Mew!—absurd! The metaphysics are but speculations Of the celestial bodies, or such accidents As not mixt perfectly, in the air engend’red 120 Appear to us unnatural; that’s all. Prove it; yet, with a reverence to your gravity, I’ll balk illiterate sauciness, submitting My sole opinion to the touch of writers.

Pro. Now let us fall in with him. [They come forward.]

Org. Ha, ha, ha! 125 These apish boys, when they but taste the grammates[4141] And principles of theory, imagine They can oppose their teachers. Confidence Leads many into errors.

Pro. By your leave, sir.

Euph. Are you a scholar, friend?

Org. I am, gay creature, 130 With pardon of your deities, a mushroom On whom the dew of heaven drops now and then; The sun shines on me too, I thank his beams! Sometime I feel their warmth; and eat and sleep.

Pro. Does Tecnicus read to thee?

Org. Yes, forsooth, 135 He is my master surely; yonder door Opens upon his study.

Pro. Happy creatures! Such people toil not, sweet, in heats of state, Nor sink in thaws of greatness; their affections Keep order with the limits of their modesty; 140 Their love is love of virtue.—What’s thy name?

Org. Aplotes, sumptuous master, a poor wretch.

Euph. Dost thou want anything?

Org. Books, Venus, books.

Pro. Lady, a new conceit comes in my thought, And most available for both our comforts. 145

Euph. My lord,—

Pro. Whiles I endeavour to deserve Your father’s blessing to our loves, this scholar May daily at some certain hours attend[4142] What notice I can write of my success, 149 Here in this grove, and give it to your hands; The like from you to me: so can we never, Barr’d of out mutual speech, want sure intelligence, And thus our hearts may talk when our tongues cannot.

Euph. Occasion is most favourable; use it.

Pro. Aplotes, wilt thou wait us twice a day, At nine i’ the morning and at four at night, 156 Here in this bower, to convey such letters As each shall send to other? Do it willingly, Safely, and secretly, and I will furnish Thy study, or what else thou canst desire. 160

Org. Jove, make me thankful, thankful, I beseech thee, Propitious Jove! I will prove sure and trusty: You will not fail me books?

Pro. Nor aught besides Thy heart can wish. This lady’s name’s Euphranea, Mine Prophilus.

Org. I have a pretty memory; 165 It must prove my best friend. I will not miss One minute of the hours appointed.

Pro. Write The books thou wouldst have bought thee in a note, Or take thyself some money.

Org. No, no money; Money to scholars is a spirit invisible, 170 We dare not finger it: or books, or nothing.

Pro. Books of what sort thou wilt: do not forget Our names.

Org. I warrant ye, I warrant ye.

Pro. Smile, Hymen, on the growth of our desires; We’ll feed thy torches with eternal fires! 175

Exeunt PROPHILUS and EUPHRANEA.

Org. Put out thy torches, Hymen, or their light Shall meet a darkness of eternal night! Inspire me, Mercury, with swift deceits. Ingenious Fate has leapt into mine arms, Beyond the compass of my brain.[4143] Mortality 180 Creeps on the dung of earth, and cannot reach The riddles which are purpos’d by the gods. Great arts best write themselves in their own stories; They die too basely who outlive their glories. Exit.

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Act II, Scene I — [4144]

Enter BASSANES and PHULAS.

Bass. I’ll have that window next the street damm’d up; It gives too full a prospect to temptation, And courts a gazer’s glances. There ’s a lust Committed by the eye, that sweats and travails, Plots, wakes, contrives, till the deformed bear-whelp, 5 Adultery, be lick’d into the act, The very act. That light shall be damm’d up; D’ ye hear, sir?

Phu. I do hear, my lord; a mason Shall be provided suddenly.[4145]

Bass. Some rogue, Some rogue of your confederacy,—factor[4146] 10 For slaves and strumpets!—to convey close packets From this spruce springal[4147] and t’ other youngster, That gaudy earwig, or my lord your patron, Whose pensioner you are.—I ’ll tear thy throat out, Son of a cat, ill-looking hound’s-head, rip-up 15 Thy ulcerous maw, if I but scent a paper, A scroll, but half as big as what can cover A wart upon thy nose, a spot, a pimple, Directed to my lady; it may prove A mystical preparative to lewdness. 20

Phu. Care shall be had: I will turn every thread About me to an eye.—[Aside.] Here ’s a sweet life!

Bass. The city housewives, cunning in the traffic Of chamber merchandise, set all at price By wholesale; yet they wipe their mouths and simper, 25 Cull,[4148] kiss, and cry “sweetheart,” and stroke the head Which they have branch’d;[4149] and all is well again! Dull clods of dirt, who dare not feel the rubs Stuck on the[ir] foreheads.

Phu. ’T is a villanous world; One cannot hold his own in ’t.

Bass. Dames at court, 30 Who flaunt in riots, run another bias;[4150] Their pleasure heaves the patient ass that suffers Up on the stilts of office, titles, incomes; Promotion justifies the shame, and sues for ’t. Poor honour, thou art stabb’d, and bleed’st to death 35 By such unlawful hire! The country mistress Is yet more wary, and in blushes hides Whatever trespass draws her troth to guilt. But all are false: on this truth I am bold, No woman but can fall, and doth, or would.— Now for the newest news about the city; 41 What blab the voices, sirrah?

Phu. O, my lord, The rarest, quaintest, strangest, tickling news That ever—

Bass. Hey-day! up and ride me, rascal! What is ’t?

Phu. Forsooth, they say the king has mew’d[4151] 45 All his gray beard, instead of which is budded Another of a pure carnation colour, Speckled with green and russet.

Bass. Ignorant block!

Phu. Yes, truly; and ’t is talkt about the streets That, since Lord Ithocles came home, the lions Never left roaring, at which noise the bears 51 Have danc’d their very hearts out.

Bass. Dance out thine too.

Phu. Besides, Lord Orgilus is fled to Athens Upon a fiery dragon, and ’t is thought ’A never can return.

Bass. Grant it, Apollo! 55

Phu. Moreover, please your lordship, ’t is reported For certain, that whoever is found jealous Without apparent proof that ’s wife is wanton Shall be divorc’d: but this is but she-news; I had it from a midwife. I have more yet. 60

Bass. Antic, no more! Idiots and stupid fools Grate my calamities. Why to be fair Should yield presumption of a faulty soul— Look to the doors.

Phu. [Aside.] The horn of plenty crest him! Exit.

Bass. Swarms of confusion huddle in my thoughts 65 In rare distemper.—Beauty! O, it is An unmatcht blessing or a horrid curse. Enter PENTHEA and GRAUSIS, an old Lady. She comes, she comes! so shoots the morning forth, Spangled with pearls of transparent dew.— The way to poverty is to be rich, 70 As I in her am wealthy; but for her, In all contents a bankrupt.— Lov’d Penthea! How fares my heart’s best joy?

Grau. In sooth, not well, She is so over-sad.

Bass. Leave chattering, magpie.— Thy brother is return’d, sweet, safe, and honour’d 75 With a triumphant victory; thou shalt visit him: We will to court, where, if it be thy pleasure, Thou shalt appear in such a ravishing lustre Of jewels above value, that the dames Who brave it there, in rage to be outshin’d, 80 Shall hide them in their closets, and unseen Fret in their tears; whiles every wond’ring eye Shall crave none other brightness but thy presence. Choose thine own recreations; be a queen Of what delights thou fanciest best, what company, 85 What place, what times; do anything, do all things Youth can command, so thou wilt chase these clouds From the pure firmament of thy fair looks.

Grau. Now ’t is well said, my lord.—What, lady! laugh, Be merry; time is precious.

Bass. [Aside.] Furies whip thee! 90

Pen. Alas, my lord, this language to your hand-maid Sounds as would music to the deaf; I need No braveries nor cost of art to draw The whiteness of my name into offence: Let such, if any such there are, who covet 95 A curiosity of admiration, By laying-out their plenty to full view, Appear in gaudy outsides; my attires Shall suit the inward fashion of my mind; From which, if your opinion, nobly plac’d, 100 Change not the livery your words bestow, My fortunes with my hopes are at the highest.

Bass. This house, methinks, stands somewhat too much inward, It is too melancholy; we ’ll remove 104 Nearer the court: or what thinks my Penthea Of the delightful island we command? Rule me as thou canst wish.

Pen. I am no mistress. Whither you please, I must attend; all ways Are alike pleasant to me.

Grau. Island; prison! A prison is as gaysome: we ’ll no islands; 110 Marry, out upon ’em! Whom shall we see there? Sea-gulls, and porpoises, and water-rats, And crabs, and mews, and dog-fish; goodly gear For a young lady’s dealing,—or an old one’s! On no terms islands; I ’ll be stew’d first.

Bass. [Aside to GRAUSIS.] Grausis, 115 You are a juggling bawd.—This sadness, sweetest, Becomes not youthful blood.—[Aside to GRAUSIS.] I ’ll have you pounded.— For my sake put on a more cheerful mirth; Thou ’lt mar thy cheeks, and make me old in griefs.— [Aside to GRAUSIS.] Damnable bitch-fox! Grau. I am thick of hearing, 120 Still, when the wind blows southerly.—What think ye, If your fresh lady breed young bones, my lord? Would not a chopping boy d’ ye good at heart? But, as you said—

Bass. [Aside to Grausis.] I ’ll spit thee on a stake, Or chop thee into collops!

Grau. Pray, speak louder, 125 Sure, sure the wind blows south still.

Pen. Thou prat’st madly.

Bass. ’T is very hot; I sweat extremely. Re-enter PHULAS. Now?

Phu. A herd of lords, sir.

Bass. Ha!

Phu. A flock of ladies.

Bass. Where?

Phu. Shoals of horses.

Bass. Peasant, how?

Phu. Caroches[4152] In drifts; th’ one enter, th’ other stand without, sir: 130 And now I vanish. Exit.

Enter PROPHILUS, HEMOPHIL, GRONEAS, CHRISTALLA, and PHILEMA.

Pro. Noble Bassanes!

Bass. Most welcome, Prophilus; ladies, gentlemen, To all my heart is open; you all honour me,— [Aside.] A tympany[4153] swells in my head already,— Honour me bountifully.—[Aside.]How they flutter, 135 Wagtails and jays together!

Pro. From your brother By virtue of your love to him, I require Your instant presence, fairest.

Pen. He is well, sir?

Pro. The gods preserve him ever! Yet, dear beauty, I find some alteration in him lately, 140 Since his return to Sparta.—My good lord, I pray, use no delay.

Bass. We had not needed An invitation, if his sister’s health Had not fallen into question.—Haste, Penthea, Slack not a minute.—Lead the way, good Prophilus; 145 I ’ll follow step by step.

Pro. Your arm, fair madam.

Exeunt all but BASSANES and GRAUSIS.

Bass. One word with your old bawdship: th’ hadst been better Rail’d at the sins[4154] thou worshipp’st than have thwarted My will: I ’ll use thee cursedly.

Grau. You dote, You are beside yourself. A politician 150 In jealousy? No, y’ are too gross, too vulgar. Pish, teach not me my trade; I know my cue. My crossing you sinks me into her trust, By which I shall know all; my trade ’s a sure one.

Bass. Forgive me, Grausis, ’t was consideration 155 I relish’d not;[4155] but have a care now.

Grau. Fear not, I am no new-come-to ’t.

Bass. Thy life ’s upon it, And so is mine. My agonies are infinite. Exeunt.

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