A faithful narrative of the surprising work of God in the conversion of many hundred souls in Northampton, and the neighbouring towns and villages of the county of Hampshire, in the province of the Massachusetts-Bay in New-England. : In a letter to the Reverend Dr. Benjamin Colman, of Boston.

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PROIR

FAITHFUL NARRATIVE

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Chapter II

77te Jiiamier of Conversion various^ yet bearing a great resemblance.

I therefore proceed to give an account of the manner of persons being wrought upon ; and here there is a vast variety, perhaps as manifold as the subjects of the operation ; but yet in many things there is a great analogy in all.

Persons are first awakened with a sense of their miserable condition by nature, the danger they are in* of perishing eternally, and that it is of great importance to them that they speedily escape, and get into a better state. Those that before were secure and senseless, are made sensible how much they were in the way to ruin in their former courses. Some were more suddenly seized with convictions ; it may be, by the news of other's conversion, or something they hear in public, or in private conference; their consciences are suddenly smitten, as if their hearts were pierced through with a dart : Others have awakenings that come upon ihem more gradually : they begin at first to be something more thoughtful and considerate, so as to come to a conclusion in their minds, that it is

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their best and wisest way to delay no longer, but to improve the present opportunity ; and have accordingly set themselves seriously to meditate on those things that have the most awakening tendency, on purpose to obtain convictions ; and so their awakenings have increased, till a sense of their misery, by God's Spirit setting in therewith, has had fast hold of them. Others that, before this wonderful time, had been somewhat religious and concerned for their salvation, have been awakened in a new manner, and made sensible that their slack and dull way of seeking was never like to attain their purpose, and so have been roused up to a greater violence for the kingdom of heaven.

These awakenings, when they have first seized on persons, have had two effects : one was, that they have brought them immediately to quit their sinful practices, and the looser sort have been brought to forsake and dread their former vices and extravagancies. When once the Spirit of God began to be so wonderfully poured out in a general way through the town, people had soon done with their old quarrels, backbitings, and intermeddling with other men's matters ; the tavern was soon left empty, and persons kept very much at home ; none went abroad unless on necessary business, or on some religious account, and every day seemed in many respects like a Sabbath day. And the other effect was, that it put them on earnest application to the means of salvation, reading, prayer, meditation, the ordinances of God's house, and private conference; their cry was, " What shall WIS do to be saved ?" The place of resort was 4

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now altered; it was no longer the tavern, but the minister's house, that was thronged far more than ever the tavern had been wont to be.

There is a very great variety as to the degree of fear and trouble that persons are exercised with before they obtain any comfortable evidences of pardon and acceptance with God : some are from the beginning carried on with abundantly more encouragement and hope than others: some have had ten times less trouble of mind than others, in whom yet the i>sue seems to be tlie same. Some have had such a sense of the displeasure of God, and the great danger they were in of damnation, that they could not sleep at niorht ; and many have said that when they have laid down, the thoughts of sleeping in such a condition have been frightful to them, and they have scarcely been free from terror while they liave been aslee}), and they have awaked with fear, heaviness, and distress still abiding on their spirits. It has been very common, that the deep and fixed concern that has been on person's minds, has had a painful influence on their bodies, and had given disturbance to animal nature.

The awful apprehensions persons have had of their misery, have for the most part been increasing, the nearer they have approached to deliverance ; though they often pass through many changes, and alterations in the frame, and circumstances of their minds : Sometimes they think themselves wholly senseless, and fear that the Spirit of God has left them, and that they are given up to judicial hardness ; yet they appear very deeply exercised about that

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fear, and are in great earnest to obtain convictions again.

Together with those fears, and that exercise of mind which is rational, and which they have just ground for, they have often suffered many needless distresses of thoui^ht, in which Satan probably has a great hand, to entangle them, and block up their way ; and sometimes the distemper of melancholy has been evidently mixed ; of which, when it happens, the tempter seems to make great advantage, and puts an unhappy bar in the way of any good effect ; one knows not how to deal with such persons, they turn every thing that is said to them the wrong way, and most to their own disadvantage : And there is nothing that the d^vil seems to make so great a handle of, as a melancholy humour, unless it be the real corruption of the heart.

But it has been very remarkable, that there has been far less of this mixture in this time of extVaordinary blessing, than there was wont to be in persi»ns under awakenings at other times; for it is evident that many that before had been exceedingly involved in such difficulties, seemed now strangely to be set at liberty : Some persons that had before, for a long time, been exceedingly entangled with peculiar tentptations, of one sort or other, and unprofitable and hurtful distresses, were soon helped over former stumblmg blocks, that hindered any progress toward saving good ; and convictions have wrought more kindly, and they have been successfully carried on in the w y to life. And thus Satan seemed to be restrained, till towards the latter end of this wonderful time, when God's Spirit was about to withdraw.

Many times persons under great awakenings were concerned, because they thought they were not awakened, but miserable, hard-hearted, senseless, sottish creatures still, and sleeping upon the brink of hell : The sense of the need they have to be awakened, and of their comparative hardness, grows upon them with their awakenings : so that they seem to themselves to be very senseless, when indeed most sensible. There have been some instances of persons that have had as great a sense of their danger and misery, as their natures could well subsist under, so that a little more would probably have destroyed them ; and yet they have expressed themselves much amazed at their own insensibility and sottishness, in such an extraordinary time as it then was.

Persons are sometimes brought to the borders of despair, and it looks as black as midnight to them a little before the day dawns in their souls ; some few instances there have been of persons, who have had such a sense of God's wrath for sin, that they have been overborne, and made to cry out under an atonishing sense of their guilt, wondering that God suffers such guilty wretches to live upon earth, and that he doth not immediately send them to hell ; and sometimes their guilt does so glare them in the face, that they are in exceeding terror for fear that God will instantly do it ; but more commonly the distresses under legal awakenings have not been to such a degree. In some, these terrors do not seem to be so sharp, when near

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comfort, as before ; their convictions have not seemed to work so much that way, but they seem to be led farther down into their own hearts, to a further sense of their own universal depravity, and deadness in sin.

The corruption of the heart has discovered itself in various exercises, in the time of legal convictions ; sometimes it appears in a great struggle, like something roused by an enemy, and Satan, the old inhabitant, seems to exert himself, like a serpent disturbed and enraged. Many in such circumstances, have felt a great spirit of envy towards the godly, especially towards those that are thought to have been lately converted, and most of all towards acquaintance and companions, when they are thought to be converted. Indeed, some have felt many heart-risings against God, and murmurings at his ways of dealing with mankind, and his dealings with themselves in particular. It has been much insisted on, both in public and private, that persons should have the utmost dread of such envious thoughts, which if allowed, tend exceedingly to quench the Spirit of God, if not to provoke him finally to forsake them. And when such a spirit has much prevailed, and persons have not so earnestly strove against it as they ought to have done, it has seemed to be exceedingly to the hindrance of the good of their souls : but in some other instances, where persons have been much terrified at the sight of such wickedness in their hearts,God has brought good to them out of evil ; and made it a means of convincing them of their own desperate sin-

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fulness, and bringing them off from all self-confidence.

The drift of the Spirit of God in his legal strivings with persons, has seemed most evidently to be, to make way for, and to bring to, a conviction of their absolute dependence on his sovereign power and grace, and universal necessity of a Mediator, by leading them more and more to a sense of their exceeding wickedness and guiltiness in his sight; the pollution and insufficiency of their own righteousness, that they can in no w^ise help themselves, and that God would be wholly just and righteous in rejecting them, and all that they do, and in casting them off forever : Though there be a vast variety, as to the manner and distinctness of person's convictions of these things.

As they are gradually more and more convinced of the corruption and wickedness of their hearts, they seem to themselves to grow worse and worse, harder and blinder, and more desperately wicked, instead of growing better ; they are ready to be discouraged by it, and oftentimes never think themselves so far off from good, as when they are nearest. Under the sense which the Spirit of God gives them of their sinfulness, they often think that they differ from all others ; their hearts are ready to sink with the thought, that they are the worst of all, and that none ever obtained mercy that were so wicked as they.

When awakenings first begin, their consciences are commonly most exercised about their outward vicious course, or other acts of

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sin ; but afterwards are much more burdened with a sense of heart sins, the dreadful corruption of their nature, their enmity against God, the pride of their hearts, their unbelief, their rejection of Christ, the stubborness and obstinacy of their wills ; and the like. In many, God makes much use of their own experience, in the course of their awakenings and endeavours after saving good, to convince them of their own vileness and universal depravity.

Very often under first awakenings, when they are brought to reflect on the sin of their past jives, and have something of a terrifying sense of God's anger, they set themselves to walk more strictly, and confess their sins and perform many religious duties, with a secret hope of appeasing God's anger and making up for the sins they have committed : and oftentimes, at first setting out, their affections are moved, and they are full of tears, in their confessions and prayers, which they are ready to make very much of, as though they were some atonement, and had power to move correspondent affections in God too : and hence they are for a while big with expectation of what God will do for them ; and conceive that they grow better apace, and shall soon be thoroughly converted. But these affections are but short lived ; they quickly find that they fail, and that they think themseves to be grown worse again ; they don't find such a prospect of being soon converted, as they thought : instead of being nearer, they seem to be farther off; their hearts they think are grown harder, and by this means their fears of perishing, increase. But though they are disappoint-

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ed, they renew their attempts again and again ; and still as their attempts are multij.lied, so are their disappointments; all tails, they see no token of having inclined God's heart to them, they don't see that he hears their prayers at all, as they expected he would ; and sometimes there have been great temptations arising hence to leave off seeking, and to yield up the case. But as they are still more terrified with fears of perishing, and their former hopes of prevailing on God to he merciful to them in a great measure fail ; sometimes their religious affections have turned into heart-risings against God, because that he does not pity them, and seems to have little regard to their distress, and piteous cries, and to all the pains that they take ; they think of the mercy that God has shown to others, how soon, and how easily others have obtained comfort, and those too that were worse than they, and have not laboured so much as they have done, and sometimes they have had even dreadful blasphemous tiioughts, in these circumstances.

But when they reflect on these wicked workings of li^art against God, if their convictions ajre continued, and the Spirit of God is not provoked utterly to forsake them, they have more distressing apprehensions of the anger of God towards those, whose hearts work after such a sinful manner about him ; and it may be have great fears that they have committed the unpardonable sin, or that God will surely never show mercy to them tliat are such vipers ; and are often tempted to leave off in despair. But then perhaps, by something they read or heard of the

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infinite mercy of God, and all-sufBciency of Christ for the chief of sinners, they have some encouragement and hope renewed ; but think that as yet they are not fit to come to Christ ; they are so wicked that Christ will never accept of them : and then it may be they set themselves upon a new course of fruitless endeavours in their own strength to make themselves better, and still meet with new disappointments : They are earnest to inquire what they shall do ? They do not know but there is something else to be done, in order to their obtaining converting grace, that they have never done yet. It may be they hope that they are something better than they were ; but then the pleasing dream all vanishes again. If they are told, that they trust too much to their own strength and righteousness, they go about to strive to bring themselves off from it, and it may be, think they have done it, when they only do the same thing under a new disguise, and still find no appearance of any good, but all looks as dark as midnight to them. Thus they wander about from mountain to hill, seeking rest and finding none : when they are beat out of one refuge they fly to another, till they are as it were debilitated, broken, and subdued with legal humblings ; in which God gives them a conviction of their own utter helplessness and insuflliciency, and discovers the true remedy.

When they begin to seek salvation, they are commonly profoundly ignorant of themselves ; they are not sensible how blind they are, and how little they can do towards bringing themselves to see spiritual things aright, and towards

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putting forth gracious exercises in their own souls : they are not sensible how remote they are from love to God, and other holy dispositions, and how dead they are ir»sin. When they see unexpected pollution in their own hearts, they go about to wash away their own defile- .ments, and make themselves clean* and they weary themselves in vain, till God shows them that it is in vain, and their help is not where'they have sought it, but elsewhere.

But some persons continue wandering in such a kind of labyrinth, ten times as long as others, before their own experience will convince them of their insufficiency; and so it appears not to be their own experience only, but ihe convincing influence of God's Spirit with their experience, that attains the effect : and God has of late abundantly shown, that he does not need to wait to have men convinced by long and often repeated fruitless trials ; for in multitudes of instances he has made a short'er work of it : he has so awakened and convinced persons' consciences, and made them so sensible of their exceedingly great vileness, and given them such a sense of his wrath againsi sin, as has quickly overcome all their vain self-confidence, and borne them (hmn into the dust before a holy and jighteous God.

'I'here have been some who have not had great terrors, but have had a very quick work. Some of those that have not had so deep a conviction of these things before their conversion, have, it may be, much more of it afterwards. God has appeared far from limiting himself to any certain method in his proceedings with sinners under legal convictions. In some ijistan-

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CPS it seems easy for our reasoning powers to discern llie methods of divine wi.sdom, in his dealings with the soul under awakenings : in others his footsteps cannot be traced, and his ways are past finding out : and some that are less distinctly wrouglit upon, in what i< preparatory to grace, appear no less eminent in gracious experiences afterwards.

There is in nothing a greater difference, in different persons, than with respect to the time of tiieir beinir under trouble ; some but a few days, and others for montiis or years. There were many in this town, that had been, before this effusion of God's Spirit upon us, for years, and some for many years, concerned about their salvation ; though probably they were not thoroughly awakened, yet they were concerned to such a degree as to be very uneasy, so as to live an uncomfortable, disquieted life, and so as to continue in a way of taking considerable pains about their salvation, but had never obtained any comfortable evidence of a good state, who now, in this extraordinary time, have received light ; but many of them were some of the last : They first saw multitudes of others rejoicing, and with songs of deliverance in their mouths, who seemed wholly careless and at ease, and in pursuit of vanity, while they had been bowed down with solicitude about their souls : yea, some had lived licentiously, and so continued till a little before they were converted, and grew up to a holy rejoicing in the infinite blessings God had bestowed upon them.

And whatever minister has the like occasion to deal with souls, in a Hock under such

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circumstances as this was in the last year, I cannot but think he will soon find himself under a necessity, greatly to insist upon it with them, that God is under no manner of obligation to show mercy to any natural man, whose heart is not turned to God : and that a man can challenge nothing, either in absolute justice, or by free promise, from any thing he does before he has believed on Jesus Christ, or has true repentance begun in him. It appears to me, that if I had taught those that came to me under trouble, any other doctrine, I should have taken a most direct course utterly to have undone them. I should have directly crossed what was plainly the drift of the Spirit of God in his influence upon them ; for if they had believed what I said, it would either have promoted self-flattery and carelessness, and so put an end to their awakenings ; or cherished and established their contention and strife with God, concerning his dealings with them and others, and blocked up their way to that humiliation, before the sovereign Disposer of life and death, whereby God is wont to prepare theni for his consolations. And yet those that have been under awakenings, have oftentimes plainly stood in need of being encouraged, by being told of the infinite and all-sufiicient mercy of God in Christ ; and that it is God's manner to succeed diligence^ and to bless his own means, that so awakenings and encouragements, fear and hope may be duly mixed, and proportioned to preserve their minds in a just medium between the two extremes of self-flattery and despondence, both which tend to slackness, and negligence, and in

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the end to security. I think I have found that no discourses have been more remarkably blessed, than those in which the doctrine of God's absolute sovereignty with regard to the salvation of sinners, and his just liberty, with regard to his answering the prayers, or succeeding the pains of natural men, continuing such, have been insisted on. 1 never found so much immediate saving fruit, in any measure, of any discourses I have offered to my congregation, as some from those words, Rom. iii, 19. That every mouth may be stopped endeavouring to show from thence, that it would be just with God forever to reject and cast off mere natural men.

In those in whom awakenings seem to have a saving issue, commonly the first thing that appears after their legal troubles, is a conviction of the justice of God in their condemnation, in a sense of their own exceeding sinfulness, and the vileness of all their performances : In giving account of this, they expressed themselves very variously ; some, that God was sovereign, and miglu receive others and reject them ; some, that they were convinced, that God might justly bestow mercy on every person in the town, and on every person in the world, and damn themselves to all eternity ; some, that they see that God may justly have no regard to all the pains' they have taken, and all the prayers they have made ; some, that they see that if they should seek and take the utmost pains, all their lives, God might justly cast them into hell at last, because all their labours, prayers, and tears, cannot make an atonement for the least sin, nor merit anv blessing at the hands of God ; 5

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some have declared th5jemselves to be in the? hands of God, that he can, and may dispose of them just as he pleases ; some, that God may glorify himself in their damnation, and they wonder that God has suffered I hem to live so long^ and has not cast them into hell Jon^ ago.

Some are brought to this conviction by a great sense of their sinfulness, in general, that they are such vile, wjcked creatures in heart and life : Others have the sins of their lives in an extraordinary manner set before them, multitudes of them coming just then fresh to their memories, and being set before them with their aggravations ; some have their minds especially fixed, on some particular wicked practice, they have indulged ; some are especially convinced by a sight of the corruption and wickedness of their hearts ; some, from a view they have of the horridness of some particular exercises of corruption, which they have had in the time of their awakenings, whereby the enmity of the heart against God has been manifested ; some are convinced especially by a sense of the sin of unbelief, the opposition of their hearts to the way of salvation by Christ, and their obstinacy in rejecting him and his grace.

There is a great deal of difference as to persons' distinctness here ; some, that have not so clear a sight of God's justice in their condemnation, yet mention things that plainly it imply. They find a disposition to acknowledge God to be just and righteous in his threatenings, and that they are deserving of nothing. And many times, though they had not so particular a sight of it at the beginning, they have very clear dis-

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coveries of it soon afterwards, with great hutn- •blings in the dust before God.

Commonly persons' minds immediately before this discovery of God's justice are exceedingly restless, and in a kind of struggle and tumult, and sometimes in mere anguish ; but generally, as soon as they have this conviction, it immediately brings their minds to a calm, and a before unexpected quietness and composure ; and most frequently, though not always, then the pressing weight upon their spirits is taken away, and a general hope arises, that somp time or other God will be gracious, even before any distinct and particular discoveries of mercy ; and often ihey then come to a con<:lusion within themselves, that they will lie at God's feet, and wait his time ; and they rest in that, not being sensible that the Spirit of God has now brought them to a frame whereby they are prepared for mercy: for it is remarkable that persons, when they first have this sense of the justice of God, rarely in the time of it, think any thing of its being that hiamiliation that they have often heard insisted on, and that others experience.

In many persons, the first conviction of the justice of God in their condemnation, which they take particular notice of, and probably the first distinct oonviction of it that they have, is of such a nature, as seems to be above any thing merely legal : Though it be after legal humblings, and much of the sense of their own helplessness, and of the insufficiency of their own duties ; yet it does not appear to be forced by mere legal terrors and convictions ; but rather from an high exercise of grace, in saving re-

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pentance, and evangelical humiliation ; for there is in it a sort of complacency of soul, in the attribute of God's justice, as displayed in his threatenings of eternal damnation to sinners. Sometimes at the discovery of^it, they can scarcely forbear crying out, 'tis just ! 'tis just ! Some express themselves, that they see the glory of God would shine bright in their own condemnation ; and they are ready to think that if they are damned, they could take part with God against themselves, and would glorify his justice therein. And when it is thus, they commonly have some evident sense of free and all-sufficient grace, though they give no distinct account of it ; but it is manifest, by that great degree of hope and encouragement that they then conceive, though they were never so sensible of their own vileness and ill-deservings as they were at that time.

Some, when in such circmstances, have felt that sense of the excellency of God's justice, appearing in the vindictive exercises of it against such sinfulness as theirs was, and have had such a submission of mind in their idea of this attribute, and of those exercises of it, together with an exceeding loathing of their own un worthiness, and a kind of indignation against themselves, that they have sometimes almost called it a willingness to be damned ; though it must be owned they had not clear and distinct ideas of damnation, nor does any word in the Bible require such self-denial as this. But the truth is, as some have more clearly expressed it, that salvation has appeared too good for them, that they were worthy of nothing but condemnation,

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^nd they could not tell how to think of salvation's being bCvStowed upon them, fearing it was inconsistent with the glory of God's majesty, that they had so much contemned and affronted.

Thut calm of spirit that some persons have found after their legpJ distresses, continues some time before any special and delightful j:oanifestation is made to the soul of the grace of God, as revealed in the gospel ; but very often some comfortable and sweet view of a merciful God, of a sufficient Redeemer, or of some great and joyful things of the gospel, immediately follows, or in a very little time : And in some, the first sight of their just desert of hell, and God's sovereignty with respect to their salvation, and a discovery of all-sufficient grace, are so near, that they seem to go as it vvere together.

These gracious discoveries that are given, whence the first special comforts are derived, are in many respects very various; more frequently Christ is distinctly made the object of the mind, in his all-sufficiency and willingness to save sinners: But some have their thoughts more especially fixed on God, in some of his sweet and glorious attributes manifested in the gospel, and shining forth in the face of Christ : Some view the all-sufficiency of the mercy and grace of God ; some, chiefly the infinite power of God, and his ability to save them, and to do all things for them ; and some look most at the trutli and faithfulness of God : in some, the truth and certainty of the gospel in general, is the first joyful discovery they have ; in others, the certain truth of som.e particular promises ; in some, the grace and sincerity of God in his 5#