The works of Henry Fielding, Esq.; with the life of the author [signed: Arthur Murphy] . A new edition, to which is now first added, The feathers; or, The goodnatured man

Front matter

THE WORKS OF HENRY FIELDING. ESQ. WITH AN ESSAY ON HIS LIFE AND GENIUS, BY ARTHUR MURPHY, ESQ. A NEW EDITION, IN TEN VOLUMES. Vol. VIII. LONDON: Printed for J. Johnson ; J. Nichols and Son ; R. Baldwin; F. and C. Rivington ; Otridge and Son; AA*. J. and J. Richardson; R. Faulder : G. Nicol and Son ; T. Payne ; W. Lowndes; AVilkie and Robinson ; Ogilvie and Son ; Scatcherd aud Letterman ; Lane and Newman ; J. Walker ; A'ernor and Hood ; R. Lea ; J. Nunn ; Lackington, Allen, and Co. ; Cuthell and Martin; AA'ynne and Son; C. Law ; Longman, Hurst, Rees, and Orme ; Cadell and Davies; T. Booker ; S. Bngster ; J. Maw mao ; J. Asperno ; and Joseph Harding. 1806. KaTchant, Printer, S, Gn-viU'e-Street, Holhoni. CONTENTS OF THE EIGHTH VOLUME. Philosophical transactions ' for the Year 1742 and 1743 1 The First OLYNTHIAC of Demosthenes 17 Ofthe Remedy of Affliction for the Loss of our Friends 29 A DIALOGUE betAveen Alexander the Great, and Diogenes the Cynic . 47 An INTERLUDE betAveen Jupiter- Juno, Apollo, and Mercury, \vhich Avas originally intended as an Introduction to a Comedy called Jupiter's Descent on Earth 6l The TRUE PATRIOT 71 The JACOBITE'S JOURNAL .... 130 AMELIA Z PHILOSOPHICAL TRANSACTIONS.

FOR THE YEAR 1742-3. THE CONTENTS. Several Papers relating to the Terrestrial Chrysipus, Golden-Foot, or Guinea, an Insect, or Vegetable, which has this surprising Property, that being cut into several pieces, each piece lives, and in a short time becomes as perfect an Insect, or Vegetable, as that of which it zcas originally only a Part. VOL. VIII. e Abstract of Part of a Letter from the Heer Rottenscrach, in Germany, communicating Observations on the Chrysiptjs. SIR, ljOaME time since died here of old age, one Petius Gualcerus, a man well known in the learned world, and famous for nothing so much as for an extraor dinary collection which he had made of the Chry sipi, an animal or vegetable; of which I doubt not but there are still some to be found in England: however, if that should be difficult, it may be easy to send some over to you ; as they are at present very plentiful in these parts. lean answer for the truth of the facts contained in the Paper I send you, as there is not one of them but what I have seen repeated above twenty times ; and I wish others may be encouraged to try the experiments over again, and satisfy themselves of the truth by their own eyes.

The accounts of the Chrysipi, as well as the collection itself, were found in the cabinet of the abovementioned Petrus, after his death ; for he could never be prevailed on to communicate a fight of either, while alive. I am, SIR, &c. B TJte Figure of the Terrestrial Chrysipus sticking to a Fin oer. Observations and Experiments upon the Terrestrial Chrysipfs, or Guinea, by MynheerVetvus Gualterus. Translated from the French by P. H. I. Z. C. G. s. X HE animal in question is a terrestrial vegetahle or insect, of which mention is made in the Phi losophical Transactions for several years, as may be seen in N° 000. Art. 0000. and N° 00. Art. 002. and N° Art. 1 8. This animal or vegetable is of a rotund, orbicu lar, or round form, as represented in the figure an nexed; in Avhich A, denotes the ruffle; B, the hand ; g, the thumb of that hand ; d, the finger; e, the part of that finger to which the Chrysipus sticks : f f, f, f four tubes, representing the n/o.,* or mans staff, mentioned by Galen in his Treatise de Usu Partium ; and by Aristotle, in that * See Pliilos.

Introduction

TO A COMEDY, CALLED JUPITER'S DESCENT ON EARTH. BETVEE-T JUPITER, JUNO, APOLLO, AND MERCURY. SCENE I. JUPITER, JUNO. JUPITER. X RAY be pacified. Juno. It is intolerable, insufferable, and I neA*er will submit to it. J up. But, my dear • Juno. Good Mr. Jupiter, leave off that odious word ; you know I detest it. Use it to the trollop Venus, and the rest of your sluts. It sounds most agreeable to their ears, but it is nauseous to a god dess of strict virtue. J up. Madam, I do not doubt your virtue. Juno. You don't? That is, I suppose, humbly insinuating that others do: but Avho are their di vinities ? I would be glad to knoAV avIio they are ; they are neither Diana nor Minerva, I am Avell assured ; both of Avhom pity me, for they know your tricks ; they can neither of them keep a maid of honour for you.

I desire you Avill treat me Avith good manners at least. I should have had that, if I had married a mortal, though he had spent my fortune, and lain with my chamber maids, as you suffer men to do A\*ith impunity— highly to your honour be it spoken ! J up. Faith! Madam, I know but one Avay to prevent them, which is, by annihilating mankind ; and I fancy your friends below, the ladies, would hardly thank you for obtaining that favour at my hands. Juno. I desire you Avould not reflect on my friends below; it is very Avell known, I never shewed any favour, but to those ofthe purest, un spotted characters. And all my acquaintance, when I have been on the earth, have been of that kind ; for I never return a visit to any other. J up. Nay, I haA*e no inclination to find fault with the women of thc earth ; you knoAV I like them very well.

Juno. Yes, the trollops of the earth, such as Venus converses with. You never shew any civi lity to my favourites, nor make the men do it. Jup. My dear, give me leave to say, your fa vourites are such, that man must be neAV made before he can be brought to give them the preference; for when I moulded up the clay of man, I put not one ingredient in to make him in love with ugliness, which is one of the most glaring qualities in all your favourites, whom I have ever seen ; and yon must not Avonder, Avhile you have such favourites, that the men slight them. J u n o. The men slight them ! I'd have you knoAV, Sir, they slight the men ; and 1 can, at this moment, hear not less than a thousand railing at mankind. Jup. Ay, as I hear at this instant several grave black gentlemen railing at riches, and enjoying them, or at least coveting them, at the same time.

Juno. Very fine! Very civil! I understand your comparison. kWell, Sir, you may go on giving an example ofa bad husband, but I will not give the example of a tame wife ; and if you will not make men better, I will go down to the earth and make Avomen Avorse; that every house may be too hot for a husband, as I Avill shortly make heaven for you. Jup. That I believe you will but if you be gin your project of making women worse, I will take Hymen, and hang him ; for I will take some care of my A*otaries, as Avell as you of yours. SCENE II. Enter Apollo. Apol. Mr. Jupiter, good-morroAV to you. Jup. Apollo, how dost thou? You are a Wise deity, Apollo; prithee Avill you answer me one question ? Apol. To my best ability. Jup. You haA'e been much conversant Avith the affairs of men, Avhat dost thou think the foolishest thing a man can do?

Apol. Turn poet. Jup. That is honest enough, as it comes from the god of poets ,' but you have missed the mark, for certainly the foolishest thing* a man can do, is to marry. Apol. Fie! What is it then in a god ? Who, besides that he ought to be wiser than man, is tied for ever by his immortality, and has not the chance which you have given to man, of getting rid of his wife. Jup. Apollo, thy reproof is just: but let us talk of something else ; for Avhen I am out of the hearing my Avife, I beg I may never hear of her. Apol. Have you read any of those books I brought you, just sent me by my votaries upon earth ? Jup. I have read them all. The poem is ex tremely fine, and the similies most beautiful. — - There is indeed one little fault in the similies. Apol. What is that? vol. vm, F Jup. There is not the least resemblance be tween the things compared together.

Apol. One half of the simile is good, however. Jup. The dedications please me extremely, and I am glad to find there are such excellent men upon earth"- —There is one Avhom I find two or three authors agree to be much better than any of us in heaven are. This discovery, together with my Avife's tongue, has determined me to make a trip to the earth, and spend some time in such godlike company. Apollo, Avill you go Avith me ? Apol. I would Avithallmy heart, but I shall be of disservice to you ; for Avhen I Avas last on earth, though I heard of these people, I could not get admission to any of them: you had better take Plutus Avith you, he is acquainted Avith them all. Jup. Hang him, proud rascal, of all the deities he is my aversion ; I Avould have kick'd him out of heaven long ago, but that I am afraid, if he Avas to take his residence entirely upon the earth, he Avould foment a rebellion against me.

Apol. Your fear has too just a ground, for the god of riches has more interest tliere than all the other gods put together : nay, he has supplanted us in all our provinces ; he gives Avit to men I never heard of, and beauty to Avomen Venus never saAv. Nay, he Aentures to make free with Mars himself; and sometimes, they tell me, puts men at the head of military affairs, avIio never saw an enemy, nor of whom an enemy ever could see any other than the back. Jup. Faith! it is surprising, that a god Avhom I sent doAvn to earth when I Avas angry Avith man kind, and Avho has done them more hurt than all the other deities, should ingratiate himself so far into their favour. Apol. You may thank yourself, you might have made man Aviser it* you would. Jup. What to laugh at? No, Apollo, believe me, man far outdoes my intention ; and when I read in those little histories, called dedications, how excellent he is groAvn, I am eager to be with him, that I may make another promotion to the stars ; and here conies my son of fortune to accom pany us.

SCENE III. MERCURY, JUPITER, APOELO. [Mercury kneels.'] Mer. Pray, father Jupiter, be pleased to bless me. Jup. I do, my boy. What part of heaA*cn, pray, have you been spending your time in? Mer. With some ladies of your acquaintance, Apollo. I have been at blind-man's-buff with the nine muses; but before Ave began to play, Ave had charming sport betAveen Miss Thally and one of the poets; such a scene of courtship or invocation as you call it. Say, O Thalia, cries the bard ; and then he scratches his head; and then, Say, O Thalia, again; and repeated it a hundred times over ; but the devil a word Avould she say. Apol. She's a humorsome little jade, and if she takes it into her head to hold her tongue, not all the poets on earth can open her lips. Jup. I Avish Juno had some of her frolicks, with all my heart.

Merc No, my mother-in-law is ofa humour quite contrary Jup. Ay; for Avhich reason I intend to make an elopement from her, and pay a short visit to our friends on earth. Son Mercury, you shall along Avith me. Merc. Sir, I am at your disposal: but pray Arhat is the reason of this visit? Jup. Partly my wife's tempetr and partly some informations I have lately received ofthe prodigious virtue of mankind ; Avhich, if I find as great f as represented, I believe I shall leave Madam Juno forgood-and-ail, and live entirely amongst men. Merc. I shall be glad to be introduced by you into the company of these virtuous men; for I am quite Aveary of the little rogues you put me at the head of. The last time I Avas on the earth, I be lieve I had three sets of my acquaintance hang'd in one year's revolution, and not one man of any reputable condition among them; there were in deed one or tAvo condemned, but, I don't know how, they Avere found to be honest at last.

And I must tell you, Sir, IavUI be god of rogues no longer, if you suffer it to be an established maxim, that no rich man can be a rogue. Jup. We'll talk of that hereafter. I'll now go put on my travelling clothes, order my charger, and be ready for you in half an hour. SCENE IV. APOLLO, MERCURY. Merc Do you knoAV the true reason of this ex pedition? Apol. The great virtue of mankind, he tells us. Merc. The little virtue of Avomankind rather Do you knoAV him no better, than to think he Avould budge a step after human virtue ; be sides, Avhere the devil should he find it, if he would ? Apol. You haA*e not read the late dedications of my votaries. Merc Of my votaries, you mean: I hope you will not dispute my title to the dedications, as the god of thieves. You make no distinction, I hope, between robbing Avith a pistol and Avith a pen.

Apol. My votaries robbers ! Mr. Mercury? Merc Yes, Mr. Apollo ; did not my Lord Chan cellor Midas decree me the laAvyers for the same reason. Would not he be a rogue Avho should take a mau's money for persuading him he Avas a lord or a baronet, Avhen he kneAv he was no such thins.? AT? INTERLUDE. Is not he equally such, who picks his pocket by heaping virtues on him Avhich he knows he has no title to? These felloAvs prevent the very use of praise, Avhich, Avhile only the reward of virtue, will always invite men to it ; but Avhen it is to be bought, Avill be despised by the true deserving, equally with a ribbon or a feather, which may be bought by any one in a milliner's or a minister's shop. Apcl. Very Avell! at this rate you Avill rob me of all my panegyrical writers. Merc Ay, and of your satirical Avriters too, at least a great many of 'em; for unjust satire is as bad as unjust panegyric.

Apol. If it is unjust indeed But, Sir, I hope you have no claim to my Avriters of plays, poems Avhich have neither satire nor panegyric in 'em. Merc Yes, Sir, to all avIio are thieves, and steal from one another. Apol. Methinks, Sir, you should not reflect thus on Avits to me, Avho am the god of wit. Merc Heyday, Sir, nor you on thieves, to me Avho am the god of thieves. We have no such reason to quarrel about our A*otaries, they are much of the same kind ; for as it is a proverb, That all poets are poor ; so it is a maxim, That all poor men are rogues. Apol. Sir, Sir, I have men of quality that write. Merc Yes, Sir, and I have men of quality that rob; but neither are the one poets, or the other rogues; for as the one can write without wit, so can the other rob Avithout roguery. They call it privilege, I think: Jupiter I suppose gave it them; and instead of quarrelling with one another, I think it Avould be Aviser in us to unite in a petition to my father, that he Avould revoke it, and put them on a footing* with our other votaries.

Apol. It is in A'ain to petition him any thing against mankind at present, he is in such good hu mour Avith them ; if they should sour his temper, at his return perhaps he may be Avilling to do us justice. Merc It shall be my fault if he is not in a worse humour Avith them; at least I Avill take care he shall not be deceived ; and that might happen ; for men are such hypocrites, that the greatest part deceive even themseh-es, and are much Avorse than they think themselves to be. Apol. And Jupiter, you knoAV, though he is the greatest, is far from being the wisest of tbe gods. Merc His OAvn honesty makes him the less suspicious of others ; for, except in regard to wo men, he is as honest a fellow as any deity in all the Elysian Fields ; but I shall make him wait for me ■ — Dear Mr. Apollo, I am your humble sen*ant.

Apol. My dear Mercury, a good journey to you ; at your return, I shall be glad to drink a bottle of nectar Avith you. Merc I shall be proud to kiss your hands. N° 1. TUESDAY, No ve jib er 5, 1745. Ille Ego, qui quondam jl ASHION is the great governor of this Avorld ; it presides not only in matters of dress and amuse ment, but in laAV, physic, politics, religion, and all other things of the gravest kind ; indeed, the Avisest of men would be puzzled to giA*e any better reason, Avhy particular forms in all these have been, at certain times, universally received, and at others universally rejected, than that they Avere in or out of fashion. Men as Avell as thin°*s are in like manner in debted to the favour of this grand monarque. It is a phrase commonly used in the polite Avorld, that such a person is in fashion ; nay, I myself have known an individual in fashion, and then out of fashion, and then in fashion again.

Shakespeare hath shared both these fates in poetry, and so hath Mr. Handel in music; so hath my Lord Coke in law, aud in physic the great Sydenham ; and as to politics and religion, I am sure every man's me mory Avill suggest to himself very great masters in both, eyen in the present age, avIio have been, in the highest degree, both in and out of fashion. It is, therefore, the business of every man to accommodate himself to the fashion of the times; which if he neglects, he must not be surprised if the greatest parts and abilities are totally disre garded. If Socrates himself Avas to go to court in an antique dress, he Avould be neglected, or per haps ridiculed ; or if old Hippocrates Avas to visit the coUege of physicians, and there talk the language of his aphorisms, he Avould be despised ; the college, as Moliere says, having altered all that at present.

But of all mankind, there are none whom it so absolutely imports to conform to this golden rule, as an author; by neglecting this, Milton himself lay long in obscurity, and the world had nearly lost the best poem which perhaps it hath ever seen. On the contrary, by adhering to it, Tom Durfey, whose name is almost forgot, and many others, who are quite forgotten, flourished most notably in their respectiv*e ages, and eat aud were read very plentifully by their cotemporaries. In strict obedience to this soA-ereign poAver, be ing informed by my bookseller, a man of great sagacity in his business, that nobody at present reads any thing but newspapers, I have deter mined to conform myself to the reigning taste. The number indeed of these Avriters at first a little staggered us both ; but upon perusal of their works, I fancied I had discovered two or three little imperfections in them all, which somewhat diminished the force of this objection, and gave me hopes that the public Avill expel some of them to make room for their betters.

The first little imperfection in these Avritings, is, that there is scarce a syllable of Truth in any of them. If this be admitted to be a fault, it requires no other evidence than themselves, and the perpe tual contradictions which occur not only on com paring one with the other, but the same anthof iyith himself at different days. . Qdly, There is no Sense in them; to prove this likewise, I appeal to their works. 3dly, -There is, in reality, Nothing in them at all. And this also must be allowed by their readers, if paragraphs which contain neither Avit,norhumour, nor sense, nor the least importance, may be pro perly said to contain nothing. Such are the arrival of my Lord zcith a great equipage, the mar riage of Miss of great beauty and merit, and the death of Mr. ■ who was never heard of in his life, &c. See.

Nor will this appear strange, if Ave consider AA'ho are the authors of such tracts; namely, the jour neymen of booksellers, of Avhom, I believe, much the same may be truly predicated, as of these their productions. But the encouragement with which these lucu orations are read, may seem more strange and more difficult to be accounted for. And here I cannot agree with my booKseller, that their eminent bad ness recommends them. The true reason is, I be lieve, simply the same which I once heard an economist assign for the content and satisfaction Avith which his family drank water-cyder, w*. be cause they could procure no other liquor. Indeed, I make no doubt, but that the understanding, as Avell as the palate, though it may out of necessity SAvallow the worse, Avill in general prefer the better.

In this confidence I have resolved to provide the public a better entertainment than it hath lately been dieted with ; and as it is no great assurance in an Author to think himself capable of excelling such writings as have been mentioned above, so neither can he be called loo sanguine in promising himself a more favourable reception from the Public. It is not usual for us of superior eminence in our profession, to hang out our names on the sign-post; however, to raise some expectation in the mind of every reader, as well as to give a slight direction to those conjectures Avhich he will be apt to make on this occasion, I shall set doAvn some feAv hints, by Avhich a sagacious guesser may arrive at suffi cient certainty concerning me. IS.\\d first, I faithfully promise him, that I do not live Avithin a mile of Grub-street; nor am I acquainted Avith a single inhabitant of that place.

Qdly, I am of no party ; a Word which I hope, by these my labours, to eradicate out of our con stitution ; this being indeed the true source of all those evils Avhich Ave have reason to complain of. 3dly, I am a gentleman ; a circumstance from which my reader will reap many advantages; for at the same time that be may peruse my paper, Avithout any danger of seeing himself, or any of his friends traduced Avith scurrility, so he may expect, hy means of my intercourse Avith people of condition, to find here many articles of importance con cerning the affairs and transactions of the great Avorld (Avhich can never reach the ears of vulgar news-Avriters), not only in matters of state and po litics, but amusement. All routs, drums, and as semblies, Avill fall under my immediate inspection, and the adventures Avhich happen at them, will be inserted in my paper, Avith due regard, hoAvever, to the character I here profess, and Avith strict care to give uo offence to the parties concerned.

Lastly, As to my learning, knoAvledge, and other qualifications for the office I have undertaken, I shall be silent, and leave the decision to my reader's judgement; of Avhom I desire no more than that he Avould not despise me before he is acquainted with me. And to prevent this, as I have already given some account what I am, so I shall proceed to throw forth a feAv hints who I am; a matter com monly of the greatest importance towards the re commendation of all Avorks of literature. First, then, It is very probable I am Lord B ke. This- 1 collect from my style in Avriting, and knowledge in politics. Again, it is as pro bable that I am the B p of * * * * from my zeal for the Protestant religion. When I consider these, together Avith the wit and humour which Avill diffuse themselves through the Avhole, it is more than possiole I may be Lord C himself, or at least he may have some share in my paper.

From some, or all of these reasons, I am very likely Mr. IVn, Mr. D n, Mr. L- ?., Mr. F g, T n, or, indeed, any other per son Avho hath ever distinguished himself in the republic of letters. This at least is very probable, that some of these gentlemen may contribute a share of their abilities to the carrying on this Avork; in which, as nothing shall ever appear in it inconsistent Avith decency, or the religion and true civil interest of my coun try, no person, how great soeA'er, need be ashamed of being imagined to have a part; unless he sbouid be Aveak enough to be ashamed of writing at all ; that is, of having* more sense than his neighbours, or of communicating it to them. I come noAV to consider the only remaining ar ticle, 'viz. the price, which is one-third more than my cotemporary Aveekly historians set on their labours.

And here I might, with modesty enough, insist, that if I am either Avhat or avIio I pretend to he, I have sufficient title to this distinction. It is Avell known that, among mechanics, a much larger ad vance is often alloAved only for a particular name. A genteel person Avould not be suspected of deal ing with any other than the most eminent in his trade, though he is convinced he pays an addi tional price by so doing. And I hope the polite world, especially when they consider the regard to fashion which I have above professed, Avill not scruple to alloAv me the same pre-eminence. But, in realitA*, this is the cheapest paper which was ever given to the Public, both in quality, of which enough hath been said already, and in Avhiclr light a shilling woidd, I apprehend, be a more mo derate price than the three halfpence which is de manded by some others: And secondly, (which my bookseller chiefly insists on) in quantity ; as I shall contain, he says, full three times as many letters as the abovementioned papers ; and sor which reason he at first advised me to demand fourpence at least, for that one-ninth part Avould be stiU abated to the Public.

To be serious, I Avould de sire my reader to weigh fairly with himself, whether he doth not gain six times the knowledge and amusement by my paper, compared to any other ; and then I think he will have no difficulty to determine in my favour. Indeed, the prudent part of mankind will be considerable gainers by purchasing my paper; for as it will contain every thing which is worth their knoAving, all others will become absolutely need less : and I leave to their determination, whether three pennyworth of truth and sense is not more worth their purchasing, than all the rubbish and nonsense ofthe week, which will cost them twenty times as much. In other Avoids, is it not better to -rive their understandinq; an entertainment once a Aveek, than to surcharge it every day with coarse ami homely fare ?

I shall conclude the Avhole in the words of the fair and honest tradesman : Gentlemen, upon my word and honour, I can afford it no cheaper; and I believe there is no shop in toAvn will use you, better for the price. N° 3. TUESDAY, November 1.9, 1745. Furit ensis et ignis Quo que caret Jiu mind sceterum est locus. S1L. ITA I,. 1 HE rebellion having long been the uniA*ersal subject of conversation in this toAvn, it is no won der that AAdiat so absolutely engages our Avaking thoughts should attend us to the pilloAv, and represent to us in dreams or visions those ideas whieh fear had before suggested to our minds. It is natural, on all occasions, to have some little attention to our private welfare, nor do I ever honour the patriot the less (I am sure I confide in him much the more) Avhose own good is involved in that ofthe Public.

I am not, therefore, ashamed to give the Public the folloAving dream or vision, though my own little affairs, and the private con sequences Avhich the success of this rebellion Avould produce to myself, form the principal ob ject; for, I believe, at the same time, there are few of my readers avIio Avill not find themselves interested in some parts ofit. Methought, I Avas sitting in my study, medi tating for the good and entertainment ofthe Pub lic, with my two little children (as is my usual course to suffer them) playing near me ; Avhen I heard a very hard knock at my door, and imme diately afterwards several ill-looked rascals burst in upon me, one of Avhom seized me with great violence, saying, I Avas his prisoner, and must go with him. I asked him for Avhat offence. Have you the impudence to ask that, said he, Avheu the Avords True Patriot lie iioav before you?