The miscellaneous works of Oliver Goldsmith, M.B. A new edition ... To which is prefixed, some account of his life and writings

Front matter

THE MISCELLANEOUS WORKS or OLIVER GOLDSMITH, M. B. A NEW EDITION, IN FOUR VOLUMES. TO WHICH IS PREFIXED, SOME ACCOUNT OF HIS LIFE AND WRITINGS VOLUME III. LON DO Ni PRINTED FOR J. JOHNSON; W. J. ANDJ. RICHARDSON; W. OTRIDGE AND SON ; F. AND C. RIVING TON;!. WALKER ; W. low x des; vp.rsok and hood; cuth ell and martin; F. WINGRAVE; SCATCI1ERD AND LETTERMlN; wilkie and roeinson; p. m'queen;r. lea; darton and 11 arvey; longman, hurst, rees, and ormej cadell and da vies; and j. Matthews. 1S0P. //. Bryer, Printer, Bridge-Street, Blacksrivs, LETTERS FROM A CITIZEN OF THE WORLD TO HIS FRIEfcIDS IN THE EAST. A ( v ) THE EDITOR'S

Preface

. 1 HE schoolmen had formerly a very exact way of computing the abilities of their Saints or authors. Es cobar, for instance, was said to have learning as five, genius as four, and gravity as seven. Caramuel was greater than he. His learning was as eight, his ge nius as six, and his gravity as thirteen. Were I to estimate the merits of our Chinese Philosopher by the same scale, I would not hesitate to state his genius still higher ; but as to his learning and gravity, these I think might safely be marked as nine hun dred and ninety nine, within one degree of absolute frigidity. Yet upon his first appearance here many were angry not to find him as ignorant as a Tripoline am bassador, or an Envoy from Mujac. They were sur prised to find a man born so far from London, that school of prudence and wisdom, endued even with a moderate capacity.

They expressed the same sur prise at his knowledge that the Chinese do at ours. * How comes it, said they, that the Europeans so re mote from China, think with so much justice and precision ? They have never read our books, they scarcely knozv even our letters, and yet they talk and reason just as we do. The truth is, the Chinese and we are pretty much alike. Different degrees of refinement, and not of distance, mark the distinctions among man kind. Savages of the most opposite climates have *LeComte, Vol. I. p. 210. Vol. III. b all VI TREFACE. all but one character of improvidence and rapacity ; and tutored nations, however separate, make use ot the very same methods to procure refined enjoyment. The distinctions of polite nations are few ; but such as are peculiar to the Chinese, appear in every page of the following correspondence.

The meta phors and allusions are all drawnfrom the East. Their formality our author carefully preserves. Many of their favourite tenets in morals are illustrated. The Chinese are always concise, so is he. Simple, so is he. The Chinese are grave and sententious, so is he. But in one particular, the resemblance is peculiarly striking: the Chinese are often dull ; and so is he. Nor has my assistance been wanting. We are told in an old romance ofa certain knight-errant and hishorse who contracted an intimate friendship. The horse most usually bore the knight, but, in cases of ex traordinary dispatch, the knight returned the favour, and carried his horse. Thus in the intimacy between my author and me, he has usually given me a lift of his Eastern sublimity, and I have sometimes given him a return of my colloquial ease.

Yet it appears strange in this season of panegyric, when scarcely an author passes unpraised either by his friends or himself, that such merit as our Philoso pher's should be forgotten. While the epithets of ingenious, copious, elaborate, and refined, are la vished among the mob, like medals at a coronation, the lucky prizes fall on every side, but not one on him. I could on this occasion make myself melancholy, by considering the capriciousness of public taste, or the mutability of fortune ; but during this fit of morality, lest my. reader should sleep, I'll take a nap myself, and when I awake tell him my dream. I imagined the Thames was frozen over, and I stood by its side. Several booths were erected upon the ice, and I was told by one ofthe spectators, that Fashion

PREFACE.

. VII Fashion Fair was going to begin. He added, that every author who would carry his works there, might probably find a very good reception. I was resolved however to observe the humours of the place in safety from the shore, sensible that ice was at best precarious, and having been always a lit tle cowardly in my sleep. Several of my acquaintance seemed much more hardy than I, and went over the ice with intrepidity. Some carried their works to the fair on sledges, some on carts, and those which were more voluminous, were conveyed in waggons. Their temerity asto nished me. I knew their cargoes were heavy, and expected every moment they would have gone to the bottom. They all entered the fair, however, in safe ty, and each soon after returned to my great sur prise, highly satisfied with his entertainment, and the bargains he had brought away.

The success of such numbers at last began to operate upon me. If these, cried I, meet with favour and safety, some luck may, perhaps, for once at tend the unfortunate. I am resolved to make a new adventure. The furniture, frippery, and fire-works of China have long been fashionably bought up. I'll try the fair wkh a small cargo of Chinese morality. If the Chinese have contributed to vitiate our taste, I'll try how far they can help to improve our under standing. But as others have driven into the market in waggons, I'll cautiously begin by venturing with a wheel-barrow. Thus resolved, I baled up my goods and fairly ventured; when, upon just entering the fair, I fancied the ice that had supported an hundred waggons before, cracked urider me, and wheel-barrow and all went to the bottom. Upon awaking from my reverie with the fright, I cannot help wishing that the pains taken in giving this correspondence an English dress, had been employed

PREFACE.

. VIII ployed in contriving new political systems, or new plots for farces. I might then have taken my station in the world, either as a poet or a philosopher, and made one in those little societies where men club to raise each others reputation. But at present I belong to no particular class. I resemble one of those animals, that has been forced from its forest to gratify human curiosity. My earliest wish was to escape un heeded through life ; but I have been set up for half pence, to fret and scamper at the end of my chain. Though none are injured by my rage, I am naturally too savage to court any friends by fawning ; too ob stinate to be taught new tricks ; and too improvident to mind what may happen : I am appeased, though not contented. Too indolent for intrigue, and too timid to push for favour, I am— But what signifies what I am.

EX?.!. __\ erv tux,. lJ-^ya X,a'f£^* T°v Xt^-t.*' .voof. O-Jc.Iv t^Oi •%_* 1.JLUV* _T«i£V?t Ttfff jW£?' l(J_t. Fortune and Hope, adieu.' — / see my Port, Too long your dupe ; be others now your sport. CON- CONTENTS fir T?tE THIRD VOLUME. lotar I.

Introduction

. A character of the Chinese Philosopher page 1 II. The arrival of the Chinese in London. His motives for the journey. Some description of the streets and houses - 2 III. The description of London continued. The luxury of tlie English. Its benefits. The fine Gentleman. The fine Lady . . . . 5 IV. English stride. Liberty. An instance cf both. Newspapers. Politeness 9 V. English passion for politics. A specimen of a newspaper. Characteristic of the manners of different countries 13 VI. Happiness lost by seeking after refinement. The Chinese philosopher's disgraces 18 VII. The tie of wisdom only to make us happy. The benefits of travelling upon the morals of a philosopher . . . * 20 VIII. The Chinese deceived by a prostitute, in the streets of London . * . . . . - . . 23 _ . t "Vol. III. 0 X CONTENTS.

IX. The licentiousness of the English, with regard to women. A character of a -woman's man . . 25 X. The journey ofthe Chinese from Pekin to Moscow. The customs ofthe Daures 28 XI. The benefits of luxury, in making a people more wise andhajipy 31 XII. The funeral solemnities of the English. Their passion for flattering epitaphs 34 XIII. An account of Westminster Abbey 38 XIV. The reception of the Chinese from a lady of distinction 44 XV. Against cruelty to animals. A story from the Zende-vest of Zoroaster 47 XVI. Of falshood propagated by books seemingly sincere 50 XVII. Of the war now carried on between France and England, with its frivolous motives . ... 53 XVIII. The story of the Chinese Matron 57 XIX. The English method of treating women caught in adultery. The Russian method 62 XX. Some account of the republic of letters in England 65 XXI.

The Chinese goes to see a play 69 XXII. The Chinese Philosopher s Son made a slave in Persia ' 75 XXIII. The English subscription in favour of the French prisoners commended 78 XXIV. The venders of quack medicines and nostrums ridiculed .<.- ..' 82 XXV. The natural rise and decline of kingdoms, exemplified in the history of the kingdom of Lao 84 CONTENTS. XI XXV. The character of tlie man in black, with some instances of his inconsistent conduct 89 XXVI. The history of the man in black 93 XXVII. On the great numbers of old maids and bachelors in London. Some of the causes . . 101 XXVIII. A description of a club of authors . . . 105 XXIX. The proceedings of the club of authors . . 108 XXX. Tlie perfection of the Chinese, in the art of Gardening. The description of a Chinese garden 115 XXXI.

Ofthe degeneracy of some ofthe English nobility. A Mushroom feast among the Tartars .... 118 XXXII. The manner of writing among the Chinese. The Eastern tales of Magazines, £??$. ridiculed 122 XXXIU. Of the present ridiculous passion of the nobility for painting 128 XXXIV. The Philosopher's son describes a lady, ids fellow captive 132 XXXV. A continuance of his correspondence. The beautiful captive consents to marry her lord . 135 XXXVI. The correspondence still continued. He begins to be disgusted in the pursuit of wisdom. An allegory, to prove its futility 138 XXXVII. The Chinese philosopher praises the justice of a late sentence, and instances the injustice of the king of France, in the case of the prince of Charolais . . 143 XXXVIII. The description of true politeness. Two letters of different countries, by ladies falsely thought polite at home ' 147 XXXIX.

The English still have poets, though not versifiers 152 c 2 CONTENTS. XII XL- The behaviour of the congregation in St. Paul's^ church at prayers 15<* XLI. The history of China more replete with great actions than )hat of Europe ......... 158 XLII. An apostrophe on the supposed death of Voltaire l63 XLIIL Wisdom and precept may lessen our miseries, but can never increase our positive satisfactions 166 XLIV. The ardour of the people as London in running after sights and monsters 171 XLV. A dream H6 XLVI. Misery best relieved by dissipation . ..181 XLVII. The absurdity of persons in high station pursuing employments beneath them, exemplified in a fair y tale . . 184 XL VIII. The fairy tale continued 189 XLIX. An attempt to define what is meant by English liberty 193 I a. A Bookseller's visit to the Chinese 197 LI.

The impossibility of distinguishing men in England by their dress. Two instances of this . . . 202 LIL The absurd taste for obscene and pert novels, such as Tristram Shandy, ridiculed 206 LIIL The character of an important trifler . . . 210 LIV. His character continued ; with that of his wife, his house and furniture 214 LV. Some thoughts on the present situation of affairs in the different countries of Europe 218 LVL The difficulty of rising in literary reputation without intrigue or riches 221 LVII. A visitation dinner described ....... 225 LVIH. CONTENTS. XIII LVIII. The Chinese philosopher s son escapes with the beautiful captive from slavery. . 230 LIX. The history ofthe beautiful captive., . . . 233 LX. Proper lessons to a youth entering the world with fables suited to the occasion. 239 LXI.

An authentic history of Catharina Alexowna, wife of Peter the Great 243 LXH. The rise or the decline of literature, not dependant on man, but resulting from the vicissitudes of nature 249 LXIII. The Great exchange happiness for show. Their folly in this respect of use to society. ..... 252 LXIV. The history of a philosophic cobler. . . , 255 LXV. The difference between love and gratitude. 259 LXVT. The folly of attempting to learn wisdom by being recluse , 264 LXVII. Quacks ridiculed. Some particularly mentioned 267 LXVIII. The fear of mad dogs ridiculed. . ... 272 LXIX. Fortune proved not to be blind. The story of the avaricious miller 277 LXX. The shabby beau, the man in black, the Chinese philosopher, life, at Vauxhall. ........ 280 LXXI. The marriage act censured. ....... 286 LXXII. Life endeared by age , . . 291 I .XXIII.

The description of a little great man. . . 294 LXXIV. The necessity of amusing each other with new books insisted upon 298 LXXV. The preference of grace to beauty: an allegory 302 LXX VI. The behaviour of a shopkeeper and his journeyman 306 CONTENTS. LXX VII. The French ridiculed after their* own manner. 309 4 • » LXX VIII. The preparations of both theatres for a winter campaign 312 LXXIX. The evil tendency of increasing penal laws, or enforcing even those already in being, with rigour 315 LXXX. The ladies trains ridiculed. 319 LXXXI. The sciences useful in a populous state, prejudicial in a barbarous one ; 322 LXXXII. Some caitions on life, taken from a modern philosopher (f China 328 LXXXIII. The anecdotes of several poets, who lived and died in circumstances of wretchedness. . . 332 LXXXIV.

The trifling squabbles of stage-players ridiculed. 335 LXXXV. The races of Newmarket ridiculed. The description of a cart race 34 1 LXXX VI. The folly of the Western parts of Europe, in employing the Russians to fight their battles 34:4; LXXXVII. The ladies advised to get husbands. A story to this purpose 347 LXXX VIII. The folly of remote or useless disquisitions among the learned. 352 LXXXIX. The English subject to the spleen. . . 356 XC. The influence of climate and soil upon the temper and dispositions of the English 360 XCI. The manner in which some philosophers make artificial misery 3Q3 XCII. T/w fondness of some to admire the writings of krds,l_fc 367 XCI1I. The philosopher's son is again separated from his beautiful companion 369 CONTENTS. XV XCIV. The father consoles him upon this occasion. 372 XC V. The condolence and congratulation upon the death of the late king ridiculed.

English mourning described. 374 XCVI. Almost every subject of literature has been already exhausted 378 XCVII. A description of the courts of justice in Westminster Hall 381 XCVHI. A visit from the little beau. The indulgence with which the fair sex are treated in several parts of Asia. .....' 385 XCIX. A life of independance praised. ..... 388 C. That people must be contented to be guided by those whom they have appointed to govern. A story to this effect 392 CI. The passion for gaming among ladies, ridiculed. 395 CH. The Chinese philosopher begins to think of quitting England. 397 CIU. The arts some make use of to appear learned. S99 CIV. The intended coronation described 402 CV. Funeral elegies written upon .the Great, ridiculed. A specimen of one. . 407 CVI. The English too fond of believing every report without examination.

A story of an incendiary to this purpose 410 CVII. The utility and entertainment which might result from a journey into the East 413 CVIII. The Chinese philosopher attempts to find out famous men 418 CIX. Some projects for introducing Asiatic employments into the courts of England 422 CONTENTS. XVI CX. On the different sects in England, particularly Methodism -. 426 CXI. An election described. 4.30 CXII. A literary contest of great importance; in which both sides fight by epigram 433 CXIIL Against the marriage act. A fable. . . 438 CXIV. On the danger of having too high an opinion of human nature 443 CXV. Whether love be a natural or fictitious passion. 447 CXVL A city night-piece 45 1 CXVH. On the meanness ofthe Dutch, at the court of Japan 454 CXVIII. On the distresses of the poor exemplified, in the life of a private centinel 457 CXIX.

On the absurdity of some late English titles. 463 CXX. The irresolution of the English accounted scr. 466 CXXI. The manner of travellers in their usual relations, ridiculed. 469 CXXn. The conclusion . . . . i t 473 LETTERS LETTERS FROM A CITIZEN OF THE WORLD TO HIS FRIENDS IN THE EAST.

Letter I

To Mr. ****, Merchant in London. Sir, Amsterdam. XOURS of the ISth instant, covering two bills, one on Messrs. R. and D. value 4781. 10s. and the other on Mr. ****, value 2851. duly came to hand, the former of which met with honour, but the other has been trifled with, and I am afraid will be returned protested. The bearer of this is my friend, therefore let him be yours. He is a native of Honan in China, and one who did me signal services when he was a man darine, and I a factor at Canton. By frequently conversing with the English there, he has learned the language, though he is entirely a stranger to their manners and customs. I am told he is a philosopher; I am sure he is an honest man; that to you will be his best recommendation, next to the consideration of his being the friend of, Sir, Your's &c. Vol. III. B LETTER WOULD.

Letter II

Lond. From Lien Chi Altangi to ****, Merchant in Amsterdam. Friend of my heart, MA Y the zvings of peace rest upon thy dwelling, and the shield of conscience preserve thee from vice and mi sery 1 For all thy favours accept my gratitude and esteem, the only tributes a poor philosophic wanderer can return. Sure, fortune is resolved to make me unhappy, when she gives others a power of testifying their friendship by actions, and leaves me only words to express the sincerity of mine. I am perfectly sensible of the delicacy with which you endeavour to lessen your own merit and my obligations. By calling your late instances of friendship only a return for former favours, you would induce me to impute to your justice what I owe to your generosity. The services I did you at Canton, justice, humanity, and my office bade me perform ; those you have done me since my arrival at Amsterdam, no laws obliged you to, no justice required, even half your favours would have been greater than my most sanguine expectations.

The sum of money therefore which you privately conveyed into my baggage, when I was leaving Holland, and which I was ignorant of till my ar rival in London, I must beg leave to return. You have been bred a merchant, and I a scholar ; you consequently love money better than I. You can find pleasure in superfluity ; I am perfectly content with what is sufficient; take therefore what is yours, it may give you some pleasure, even though you have have no occasion to use it ; my happiness it cannot improve, for I have already all that I want. My passage by sea from Rotterdam to England was more painful to me than all the journies I ever made on land. I have traversed the immeasurable wilds of Mogul Tartary; felt all the rigours of Si berian skies ; I have had my repose an hundred timesdisturbed by invading savages, and have seen, without shrinking, the desart sands rise like a troubled ocean all around me ; against these calamities I. was armed with resolution; but in my passage to England, though nothing occurred that gave the mariners any uneasiness, to one who was never at sea before, all was a subject of astonishment and terror.

To find the land disappear, to see our ship mount the waves swift as an arrow from the Tartar bow, to hear the wind howling through the cord age, to feel a sickness which depresses even the spirits of the brave; these were unexpected dis tresses, and consequently assaulted me unprepared to receive them. You men of Europe think nothing of a voyage by sea. With us of China, a man who has been from sight of land is regarded upon his return with admiration. I have known some provinces where there is not even a name for the ocean. What a strange peo ple therefore am I got amongst, who have founded an empire on this unstable element, who build cities upon billows that rise higher than the mountains of Tipartala, and make the deep more formidable than the wildest tempest. Such accounts as these, I must confess, were my first motives for seeing England.

These induced me to undertake ajourney of seven hundred painful days, in order to. examine its opulence, buildings, sciences, arts and manufactures, on the spot. Judge then my disappointment on entering London, to see 00 signs of that opulence so much talked of abroad ; b 2 wherever wherever I turn, I am presented with a gloomy so lemnity in the houses, the streets and the inhabitants; none of that beautiful gildings which makes a principal ornament in Chinese architecture. The streets of Nankin are sometimes strewed with gold leaf; very different are those of London : in the midst of their pavements, a great lazy puddle moves muddily along; heavy-laden machines, with wheels of unwieldy thickness, crowd up every passage; so that a stranger, instead of finding time for observa tion, is often happy if he has time to escape from being crushed to pieces.

The houses borrow very few ornaments from architecture ; their chief decoration seems to be a paltry piece of painting, hung out at their doors or windows, at once a proof of their indigence and vanity: their vanity, in each having one of those pictures exposed to public view; and their indigence, in being unable to get them better painted. In this respect, the fancy of their painters is also deplorable. .Could you believe it ? I have seen five black lions and three blue boars in less than the cir cuit of half a mile; and yet you know that animals of these colours are no where to be found except in the wild imaginations of Europe. From these circumstances in their buildings, and from the dismal looks of the inhabitants, I am in duced to conclude that the nation is actually poor ; and that, like the Persians, they make a splendid figure every where but at home.

The proverb of Xixofou is, that a man's riches may be seen in his eyes ; if we judge of the English by this rule, there is not a poorer nation under the sun. I have been here but two days, so will not be hasty in my decisions; such letters as I shall write to Fipsihi in Moscow, I beg you'll endeavour to forward with all diligence; 1 shall send them open, in order that you may take copies or translations, as you you are equally versed in the Dutch and Chinese languages. Dear friend, think of my absence with regret, as I sincerely regret yours ; even while I write, I lament our separation. Farewell.

Letter III

From Lien Chi Altangi, lo (lie care of Fipsihi, resident in Moscow ,• to be forwarded by the Russian caravan to Fum Hoam, first president ofthe ceremonial Academy at Pekin in China. A HINK not, O thou guide of my youth, that absence can impair my respect, or interposing track less desarts blot your reverend figure from my me mory. The farther I travel I feel the pain of separation with stronger force; those ties that bind me to my native country, and you, are still unbroken. By every remove, I only drag a greater length of chain *. Could I find aught worth transmitting from so remote a region as this to which I have wandered, I should gladly send it; but, instead of this, you must be contented with a renewal of my formal professions, and an imperfect account of a people with whom I am as yet but superficially acquainted.

The remarks of a man who has been but three days in the country can only be those obvious circumstances which force themselves upon the imagination : I consider myself here as a newly-created Being in troduced into a new world; every object strikes with wonder and surprize. The imagination, still unsated, seems the only active principle of the * We find a repetition of this beautiful and affecting image in the Traveller; ' And drags at each remove a lengthening chain.' e 3 mind. mind. The most trifling occurrences give pleasure, till the gloss of novelty is worn away. When I have ceased to wonder, I may possibly grow wise; I may then call the reasoning principle to my aid, and compare those objects with each other, which were before examined without reflection. Behold me then in London, gazing at the stran gers, and they at me; it seems they find somewhat absurd in my figure ; and had I been never from home it is possible I might find an infinite fund of ridicule in theirs; but by long travelling I am taught to laugh at folly alone, and to find nothing truly ridiculous but villany and vice.

When I had just quitted my native country, and crossed the Chinese wall, 1 fancied every deviation from the customs and manners of China was a de parting from nature: I smiled at the blue lips and red foreheads of the Tonguese ; and could hardly contain when I saw the Daures dress their heads with horns. The Ostiacs, powdered with red earth ; and the Calmuck beauties, tricked out in all the finery of sheep-skin, appeared highly ridiculous ; but I soon perceived that the ridicule lay not iri them but in me; that I falsely condemned others for absurdity, because they happened to differ from a standard originally founded in prejudice or partiality. I find no pleasure therefore in taxing the English with departing from Nature in their external appear ance, which is all I yet know of their character; it is possible they only endeavour to improve her sim ple plan, since every extravagance in dress proceeds from a desire of becoming more beautiful than Na ture made us; and this is so harmless a vanity that I not only pardon but approve it : a desire to be more excellent than others is what actually makes us so, and, as thousands find a livelihood in society by such appetites, none but the ignorant inveigh against them.

You You are not insensible, most reverend Fum Hoam, what numberless trades, even among the Chinese, subsist by the harmless pride of each other. Your nose-borers, feet-swathers, tooth-stainers, eye-brow pluckers, would all want bread, should their neighbours want vanity. These vanities, however, em ploy much fewer hands in China than in England ; and a fine gentleman, or a fine lady, here dressed up to the fashion, seems scarcely to have a single limb that does not suffer some distortions from art. To make a fine gentleman, several trades are re quired, but chiefly a barber : you have undoubtedly heard of the Jewish champion, whose strength lay in his hair : one would think that the English were for placing all wisdom there : to appear wise, nothing more is requisite here than for a man to borrow hair from the heads of all his neighbours, and clap it like a bush on his own : the distributors of Jaw and physic stick on such quantities, that it is almost impossible, even in idea, to distinguish be tween the head and the hair.

Those whom I have been now describing affect the gravity of the lion: those I am going to describe more resemble the pert vivacity of smaller animals. The barber, who is still master ofthe ceremonies, cuts their hair close to the crown ; and then with a com position of meal and hog's lard plaisters the whole in such a manner, as to make it impossible to distinguish whether the patient wears a cap or a plaister; but, to make the picture more perfectly striking, conceive the tail of some beast, a greyhound's tail, or a pig's tail for instance, appended to the back of the head, and reaching down to that place where tails in other animals are generally seen to begin ; thus betailed and bepowdered, the man of taste fancies he improves in beauty, dresses up his hard-fea tured face in smiles, and attempts to look hideously tender.

Thus equipped, he is qualified to make b 4 love, love, and hopes for success more from the powder on the outside of his head, than the sentiments within. Yet when I consider what sort of a creature the fine lady is, to whom he is supposed to pay his ad dresses, it is not strange to find him thus equipped in order to please. She is herself every whit as fond of powder, and tails, and hog's lard, as he ; to speak my secret sentiments, most reverend Fum, the la dies here are horribly ugly; I can hardly endure the sight of them ; they no way resemble the beauties of China; the Europeans have a quite different idea of beauty from us ; when I reflect on the small-footed perfections of an eastern beauty, how is it possible I should have eyes for a woman whose feet are ten inches long, I shall never forget the beauties of my native city of Nanfew.