Act II
BUILDER'S study. At the table, MAUD has just put a sheet of paper into a typewriter. She sits facing the audience, with her hands stretched over the keys.
MAUD. [To herself] I must get that expression.
Her face assumes a furtive, listening look. Then she gets up, whisks to the mirror over the fireplace, scrutinises the expression in it, and going back to the table, sits down again with hands outstretched above the keys, and an accentuation of the expression. The door up Left is opened, and TOPPING appears. He looks at MAUD, who just turns her eyes.
TOPPING. Lunch has been ready some time, Miss Maud.
MAUD. I don't want any lunch. Did you give it?
TOPPING. Miss Athene was out. I gave the message to a young party. She looked a bit green, Miss. I hope nothing'll go wrong with the works. Shall I keep lunch back?
MAUD. If something's gone wrong, they won't have any appetite, Topping.
TOPPING. If you think I might risk it, Miss, I'd like to slip round to my dentist. [He lays a finger on his cheek].
MAUD. [Smiling] Oh! What race is being run this afternoon, then, Topping?
TOPPING. [Twinkling, and shifting his finger to the side of his nose] Well, I don't suppose you've 'eard of it, Miss; but as a matter of fact it's the Cesarwitch.
MAUD. Got anything on?
TOPPING. Only my shirt, Miss.
MAUD. Is it a good thing, then?
TOPPING. I've seen worse roll up. [With a touch of enthusiasm] Dark horse, Miss Maud, at twenty to one.
MAUD. Put me ten bob on, Topping. I want all the money I can get, just now.
TOPPING. You're not the first, Miss.
MAUD. I say, Topping, do you know anything about the film?
TOPPING. [Nodding] Rather a specialty of mine, Miss.
MAUD. Well, just stand there, and give me your opinion of this.
TOPPING moves down Left. She crouches over the typewriter, lets her hands play on the keys; stops; assumes that listening, furtive look; listens again, and lets her head go slowly round, preceded by her eyes; breaks it off, and says:
What should you say I was?
TOPPING. Guilty, Miss.
MAUD. [With triumph] There! Then you think I've got it?
TOPPING. Well, of course, I couldn't say just what sort of a crime you'd committed, but I should think pretty 'ot stuff.
MAUD. Yes; I've got them here. [She pats her chest].
TOPPING. Really, Miss.
MAUD. Yes. There's just one point, Topping; it's psychological.
TOPPING. Indeed, Miss?
MAUD. Should I naturally put my hand on them; or would there be a reaction quick enough to stop me? You see, I'm alone--and the point is whether the fear of being seen would stop me although I knew I couldn't be seen. It's rather subtle.
TOPPING. I think there's be a rehaction, Miss.
MAUD. So do I. To touch them [She clasps her chest] is a bit obvious, isn't it?
TOPPING. If the haudience knows you've got 'em there.
MAUD. Oh! yes, it's seen me put them. Look here, I'll show you that too.
She opens an imaginary drawer, takes out some bits of sealing-wax, and with every circumstance of stealth in face and hands, conceals them in her bosom.
All right?
TOPPING. [Nodding] Fine, Miss. You have got a film face. What are they, if I may ask?
MAUD. [Reproducing the sealing-wax] The Fanshawe diamonds. There's just one thing here too, Topping.
In real life, which should I naturally do--put them in here [She touches her chest] or in my bag?
TOPPING. [Touching his waistcoat--earnestly] Well! To put 'em in here, Miss, I should say is more--more pishchological.
MAUD. [Subduing her lips] Yes; but--
TOPPING. You see, then you've got 'em on you.
MAUD. But that's just the point. Shouldn't I naturally think: Safer in my bag; then I can pretend somebody put them there. You see, nobody could put them on me.
TOPPING. Well, I should say that depends on your character. Of course I don't know what your character is.
MAUD. No; that's the beastly part of it--the author doesn't, either. It's all left to me.
TOPPING. In that case, I should please myself, Miss. To put 'em in 'ere's warmer.
MAUD. Yes, I think you're right. It's more human.
TOPPING. I didn't know you 'ad a taste this way, Miss Maud.
MAUD. More than a taste, Topping--a talent.
TOPPING. Well, in my belief, we all have a vice about us somewhere. But if I were you, Miss, I wouldn't touch bettin', not with this other on you. You might get to feel a bit crowded.
MAUD. Well, then, only put the ten bob on if you're sure he's going to win. You can post the money on after me. I'll send you an address, Topping, because I shan't be here.
TOPPING. [Disturbed] What! You're not going, too, Miss Maud?
MAUD. To seek my fortune.
TOPPING. Oh! Hang it all, Miss, think of what you'll leave behind. Miss Athene's leavin' home has made it pretty steep, but this'll touch bottom--this will.
MAUD. Yes; I expect you'll find it rather difficult for a bit when I'm gone. Miss Baldini, you know. I've been studying with her. She's got me this chance with the movie people. I'm going on trial as the guilty typist in "The Heartache of Miranda."
TOPPING. [Surprised out of politeness] Well, I never! That does sound like 'em! Are you goin' to tell the guv'nor, Miss?
MAUD nods. In that case, I think I'll be gettin' off to my dentist before the band plays.
MAUD. All right, Topping; hope you won't lose a tooth.
TOPPING. [With a grin] It's on the knees of the gods, Miss, as they say in the headlines.
He goes. MAUD stretches herself and listens.
MAUD. I believe that's them. Shivery funky.
She runs off up Left.
BUILDER. [Entering from the hall and crossing to the fireplace] Monstrous! Really monstrous!
CAMILLE enters from the hall. She has a little collecting book in her hand.
BUILDER. Well, Camille?
CAMILLE. A sistare from the Sacred 'Eart, Monsieur--her little book for the orphan children.
BUILDER. I can't be bothered--What is it?
CAMILLE. Orphan, Monsieur.
BUILDER. H'm! Well! [Feeling in his breast pocket] Give her that.
He hands her a five-pound note.
CAMILLE. I am sure she will be veree grateful for the poor little beggars. Madame says she will not be coming to lunch, Monsieur.
BUILDER. I don't want any, either. Tell Topping I'll have some coffee.
CAMILLE. Topping has gone to the dentist, Monsieur; 'e 'as the toothache.
BUILDER. Toothache--poor devil! H'm! I'm expecting my brother, but I don't know that I can see him.
CAMILLE. No, Monsieur?
BUILDER. Ask your mistress to come here.
He looks up, and catching her eye, looks away.
CAMILLE. Yes, Monsieur.
As she turns he looks swiftly at her, sweeping her up and down. She turns her head and catches his glance, which is swiftly dropped. Will Monsieur not 'ave anything to eat?
BUILDER. [Shaking his head-abruptly] No. Bring the coffee!
CAMILLE. Is Monsieur not well?
BUILDER. Yes--quite well.
CAMILLE. [Sweetening her eyes] A cutlet soubise? No?
BUILDER. [With a faint response in his eyes, instantly subdued] Nothing! nothing!
CAMILLE. And Madame nothing too--Tt! Tt! With her hand on the door she looks back, again catches his eyes in an engagement instantly broken off, and goes out.
BUILDER. [Stock-still, and staring at the door] That girl's a continual irritation to me! She's dangerous! What a life! I believe that girl--
The door Left is opened and MRS BUILDER comes in.
BUILDER. There's some coffee coming; do your head good. Look here, Julia. I'm sorry I beat on that door. I apologize. I was in a towering passion. I wish I didn't get into these rages. But--dash it all--! I couldn't walk away and leave you there.
MRS BUILDER. Why not?
BUILDER. You keep everything to yourself, so; I never have any notion what you're thinking. What did you say to her?
MRS BUILDER. Told her it would never work.
BUILDER. Well, that's something. She's crazy. D'you suppose she was telling the truth about that young blackguard wanting to marry her?
MRS BUILDER. I'm sure of it.
BUILDER. When you think of how she's been brought up. You would have thought that religion alone--
MRS BUILDER. The girls haven't wanted to go to church for years. They've always said they didn't see why they should go to keep up your position. I don't know if you remember that you once caned them for running off on a Sunday morning.
BUILDER. Well?
MRS BUILDER. They've never had any religion since.
BUILDER. H'm! [He takes a short turn up the room] What's to be done about Athene?
MRS BUILDER. You said you had done with her.
BUILDER. You know I didn't mean that. I might just as well have said I'd done with you! Apply your wits, Julia! At any moment this thing may come out. In a little town like this you can keep nothing dark. How can I take this nomination for Mayor?
MRS BUILDER. Perhaps Ralph could help.
BUILDER. What? His daughters have never done anything disgraceful, and his wife's a pattern.
MRS BUILDER. Yes; Ralph isn't at all a family man.
BUILDER. [Staring at her] I do wish you wouldn't turn things upside down in that ironical way. It isn't--English.
MRS BUILDER. I can't help having been born in Jersey.
BUILDER. No; I suppose it's in your blood. The French-- [He stops short].
MRS BUILDER. Yes?
BUILDER. Very irritating sometimes to a plain Englishman--that's all.
MRS BUILDER. Shall I get rid of Camille?
BUILDER. [Staring at her, then dropping his glance] Camille? What's she got to do with it?
MRS BUILDER. I thought perhaps you found her irritating.
BUILDER. Why should I?
CAMILLE comes in from the dining-room with the coffee.
Put it there. I want some brandy, please.
CAMILLE. I bring it, Monsieur.
She goes back demurely into the dining-room.
BUILDER. Topping's got toothache, poor chap! [Pouring out the coffee] Can't you suggest any way of making Athene see reason? Think of the example! Maud will be kicking over next. I shan't be able to hold my head up here.
MRS BUILDER. I'm afraid I can't do that for you.
BUILDER. [Exasperated] Look here, Julia! That wretched girl said something to me about our life together. What--what's the matter with that?
MRS BUILDER. It is irritating.
BUILDER. Be explicit.
MRS BUILDER. We have lived together twenty-three years, John. No talk will change such things.
BUILDER. Is it a question of money? You can always have more. You know that. [MRS BUILDER smiles] Oh! don't smile like that; it makes me feel quite sick!
CAMILLE enters with a decanter and little glasses, from the dining-room.
CAMILLE. The brandy, sir. Monsieur Ralph Builder has just come.
MRS BUILDER. Ask him in, Camille.
CAMILLE. Yes, Madame.
She goes through the doorway into the hall. MRS BUILDER, following towards the door, meets RALPH BUILDER, a man rather older than BUILDER and of opposite build and manner. He has a pleasant, whimsical face and grizzled hair.
MRS BUILDER. John wants to consult you, Ralph.
RALPH. That's very gratifying.
She passes him and goes out, leaving the two brothers eyeing one another.
About the Welsh contract?
BUILDER. No. Fact is, Ralph, something very horrible's happened.
RALPH. Athene gone and got married?
BUILDER. No. It's--it's that she's gone and--and not got married.
RALPH utters a sympathetic whistle.
Jolly, isn't it?
RALPH. To whom?
BUILDER. A young flying bounder.
RALPH. And why?
BUILDER. Some crazy rubbish about family life, of all things.
RALPH. Athene's a most interesting girl. All these young people are so queer and delightful.
BUILDER. By George, Ralph, you may thank your stars you haven't got a delightful daughter. Yours are good, decent girls.
RALPH. Athene's tremendously good and decent, John. I'd bet any money she's doing this on the highest principles.
BUILDER. Behaving like a--
RALPH. Don't say what you'll regret, old man! Athene always took things seriously--bless her!
BUILDER. Julia thinks you might help. You never seem to have any domestic troubles.
RALPH. No--o. I don't think we do.
BUILDER. How d'you account for it?
RALPH. I must ask at home.
BUILDER. Dash it! You must know!
RALPH. We're all fond of each other.
BUILDER. Well, I'm fond of my girls too; I suppose I'm not amiable enough. H'm?
RALPH. Well, old man, you do get blood to the head. But what's Athene's point, exactly?
BUILDER. Family life isn't idyllic, so she thinks she and the young man oughtn't to have one.
RALPH. I see. Home experience?
BUILDER. Hang it all, a family's a family! There must be a head.
RALPH. But no tail, old chap.
BUILDER. You don't let your women folk do just as they like?
RALPH. Always.
BUILDER. What happens if one of your girls wants to do an improper thing? [RALPH shrugs his shoulders]. You don't stop her?
RALPH. Do you?
BUILDER. I try to.
RALPH. Exactly. And she does it. I don't and she doesn't.
BUILDER. [With a short laugh] Good Lord! I suppose you'd have me eat humble pie and tell Athene she can go on living in sin and offending society, and have my blessing to round it off.
RALPH. I think if you did she'd probably marry him.
BUILDER. You've never tested your theory, I'll bet.
RALPH. Not yet.
BUILDER. There you are.
RALPH. The 'suaviter in modo' pays, John. The times are not what they were.
BUILDER. Look here! I want to get to the bottom of this. Do you tell me I'm any stricter than nine out of ten men?
RALPH. Only in practice.
BUILDER. [Puzzled] How do you mean?
RALPH. Well, you profess the principles of liberty, but you practise the principles of government.
BUILDER. H'm! [Taking up the decanter] Have some?
RALPH. No, thank you.
BUILDER fills and raises his glass.
CAMILLE. [Entering] Madame left her coffee.
She comes forward, holds out a cup for BUILDER to pour into, takes it and goes out. BUILDER'S glass remains suspended. He drinks the brandy off as she shuts the door.
BUILDER. Life isn't all roses, Ralph.
RALPH. Sorry, old man.
BUILDER. I sometimes think I try myself too high. Well, about that Welsh contract?
RALPH. Let's take it.
BUILDER. If you'll attend to it. Frankly, I'm too upset.
As they go towards the door into the hall, MAUD comes in from the dining-room, in hat and coat.
RALPH. [Catching sight of her] Hallo! All well in your cosmogony, Maud?
MAUD. What is a cosmogony, Uncle?
RALPH. My dear, I--I don't know.
He goes out, followed by BUILDER. MAUD goes quickly to the table, sits down and rests her elbows on it, her chin on her hands, looking at the door.
BUILDER. [Re-entering] Well, Maud! You'd have won your bet!
MAUD. Oh! father, I--I've got some news for you.
BUILDER. [Staring at her] News--what?
MAUD. I'm awfully sorry, but I-I've got a job.
BUILDER. Now, don't go saying you're going in for Art, too, because I won't have it.
MAUD. Art? Oh! no! It's the--[With a jerk]--the Movies.
BUILDER. who has taken up a pipe to fill, puts it down.
BUILDER. [Impressively] I'm not in a joking mood.
MAUD. I'm not joking, father.
BUILDER. Then what are you talking about?
MAUD. You see, I--I've got a film face, and--
BUILDER. You've what? [Going up to his daughter, he takes hold of her chin] Don't talk nonsense! Your sister has just tried me to the limit.
MAUD. [Removing his hand from her chin] Don't oppose it, father, please! I've always wanted to earn my own living.
BUILDER. Living! Living!
MAUD. [Gathering determination] You can't stop me, father, because I shan't need support. I've got quite good terms.
BUILDER. [Almost choking, but mastering himself] Do you mean to say you've gone as far as that?
MAUD. Yes. It's all settled.
BUILDER. Who put you up to this?
MAUD. No one. I've been meaning to, ever so long. I'm twenty-one, you know.
BUILDER. A film face! Good God! Now, look here! I will not have a daughter of mine mixed up with the stage. I've spent goodness knows what on your education--both of you.
MAUD. I don't want to be ungrateful; but I--I can't go on living at home.
BUILDER. You can't--! Why? You've every indulgence.
MAUD. [Clearly and coldly] I can remember occasions when your indulgence hurt, father. [She wriggles her shoulders and back] We never forgot or forgave that.
BUILDER. [Uneasily] That! You were just kids.
MAUD. Perhaps you'd like to begin again?
BUILDER. Don't twist my tail, Maud. I had the most painful scene with Athene this morning. Now come! Give up this silly notion! It's really too childish!
MAUD. [Looking at him curiously] I've heard you say ever so many times that no man was any good who couldn't make his own way, father. Well, women are the same as men, now. It's the law of the country. I only want to make my own way.
BUILDER. [Trying to subdue his anger] Now, Maud, don't be foolish. Consider my position here--a Town Councillor, a Magistrate, and Mayor next year. With one daughter living with a man she isn't married to--
MAUD. [With lively interest] Oh! So you did catch them out?
BUILDER. D'you mean to say you knew?
MAUD. Of course.
BUILDER. My God! I thought we were a Christian family.
MAUD. Oh! father.
BUILDER. Don't sneer at Christianity!
MAUD. There's only one thing wrong with Christians--they aren't!
BUILDER Seizes her by the shoulders and shakes her vigorously. When he drops her shoulders, she gets up, gives him a vicious look, and suddenly stamps her foot on his toe with all her might.
BUILDER. [With a yowl of pain] You little devil!
MAUD. [Who has put the table between them] I won't stand being shaken.
BUILDER. [Staring at her across the table] You've got my temper up and you'll take the consequences. I'll make you toe the line.
MAUD. If you knew what a Prussian expression you've got!
BUILDER passes his hand across his face uneasily, as if to wipe something off.
No! It's too deep!
BUILDER. Are you my daughter or are you not?
MAUD. I certainly never wanted to be. I've always disliked you, father, ever since I was so high. I've seen through you. Do you remember when you used to come into the nursery because Jenny was pretty? You think we didn't notice that, but we did. And in the schoolroom--Miss Tipton. And d'you remember knocking our heads together? No, you don't; but we do. And--
BUILDER. You disrespectful monkey! Will you be quiet?
MAUD. No; you've got to hear things. You don't really love anybody but yourself, father. What's good for you has to be good for everybody. I've often heard you talk about independence, but it's a limited company and you've got all the shares.
BUILDER. Rot; only people who can support themselves have a right to independence.
MAUD. That's why you don't want me to support myself.
BUILDER. You can't! Film, indeed! You'd be in the gutter in a year. Athene's got her pittance, but you--you've got nothing.
MAUD. Except my face.
BUILDER. It's the face that brings women to ruin, my girl.
MAUD. Well, when I'm there I won't come to you to rescue me.
BUILDER. Now, mind--if you leave my house, I've done with you.
MAUD. I'd rather scrub floors now, than stay.
BUILDER. [Almost pathetically] Well, I'm damned! Look here, Maud-- all this has been temper. You got my monkey up. I'm sorry I shook you; you've had your revenge on my toes. Now, come! Don't make things worse for me than they are. You've all the liberty you can reasonably want till you marry.
MAUD. He can't see it--he absolutely can't!
BUILDER. See what?
MAUD. That I want to live a life of my own.
He edges nearer to her, and she edges to keep her distance.
BUILDER. I don't know what's bitten you.
MAUD. The microbe of freedom; it's in the air.
BUILDER. Yes, and there it'll stay--that's the first sensible word you've uttered. Now, come! Take your hat off, and let's be friends!
MAUD looks at him and slowly takes off her hat.
BUILDER. [Relaxing his attitude, with a sigh of relief] That's right! [Crosses to fireplace].
MAUD. [Springing to the door leading to the hall] Good-bye, father!
BUILDER. [Following her] Monkey!
At the sound of a bolt shot, BUILDER goes up to the window. There is a fumbling at the door, and CAMILLE appears.
BUILDER. What's the matter with that door? CAMILLE. It was bolted, Monsieur.
BUILDER. Who bolted it?
CAMILLE. [Shrugging her shoulders] I can't tell, Monsieur.
She collects the cups, and halts close to him. [Softly] Monsieur is not 'appy.
BUILDER. [Surprised] What? No! Who'd be happy in a household like mine?
CAMILLE. But so strong a man--I wish I was a strong man, not a weak woman.
BUILDER. [Regarding her with reluctant admiration] Why, what's the matter with you?
CAMILLE. Will Monsieur have another glass of brandy before I take it?
BUILDER. No! Yes--I will.
She pours it out, and he drinks it, hands her the glass and sits down suddenly in an armchair. CAMILLE puts the glass on a tray, and looks for a box of matches from the mantelshelf.
CAMILLE. A light, Monsieur?
BUILDER. Please.
CAMILLE. [She trips over his feet and sinks on to his knee] Oh! Monsieur!
BUILDER flames up and catches her in his arms
Oh! Monsieur--
BUILDER. You little devil!
She suddenly kisses him, and he returns the kiss. While they are engaged in this entrancing occupation, MRS BUILDER opens the door from the hall, watches unseen for a few seconds, and quietly goes out again.
BUILDER. [Pushing her back from him, whether at the sound of the door or of a still small voice] What am I doing?
CAMILLE. Kissing.
BUILDER. I--I forgot myself.
They rise.
CAMILLE. It was na-ice.
BUILDER. I didn't mean to. You go away--go away!
CAMILLE. Oh! Monsieur, that spoil it.
BUILDER. [Regarding her fixedly] It's my opinion you're a temptation of the devil. You know you sat down on purpose.
CAMILLE. Well, perhaps.
BUILDER. What business had you to? I'm a family man.
CAMILLE. Yes. What a pity! But does it matter?
BUILDER. [Much beset] Look here, you know! This won't do! It won't do! I--I've got my reputation to think of!
CAMILLE. So 'ave I! But there is lots of time to think of it in between.
BUILDER. I knew you were dangerous. I always knew it.
CAMILLE. What a thing to say of a little woman!
BUILDER. We're not in Paris.
CAMILLE. [Clasping her hands] Oh! 'Ow I wish we was!
BUILDER. Look here--I can't stand this; you've got to go. Out with you! I've always kept a firm hand on myself, and I'm not going to--
CAMILLE. But I admire you so!
BUILDER. Suppose my wife had come in?
CAMILLE. Oh! Don't suppose any such a disagreeable thing! If you were not so strict, you would feel much 'appier.
BUILDER. [Staring at her] You're a temptress!
CAMILLE. I lofe pleasure, and I don't get any. And you 'ave such a duty, you don't get any sport. Well, I am 'ere!
She stretches herself, and BUILDER utters a deep sound.
BUILDER. [On the edge of succumbing] It's all against my--I won't do it! It's--it's wrong!
CAMILLE. Oh! La, la!
BUILDER. [Suddenly revolting] No! If you thought it a sin--I--might. But you don't; you're nothing but a--a little heathen.
CAMILLE. Why should it be better if I thought it a sin?
BUILDER. Then--then I should know where I was. As it is--
CAMILLE. The English 'ave no idea of pleasure. They make it all so coarse and virtuous.
BUILDER. Now, out you go before I--! Go on!
He goes over to the door and opens it. His wife is outside in a hat and coat. She comes in.
[Stammering] Oh! Here you are--I wanted you.
CAMILLE, taking up the tray, goes out Left, swinging her hips a very little.
BUILDER. Going out?
MRS BUILDER. Obviously.
BUILDER. Where?
MRS BUILDER. I don't know at present.
BUILDER. I wanted to talk to you about Maud.
MRS BUILDER. It must wait.
BUILDER. She's-she's actually gone and--
MRS BUILDER. I must tell you that I happened to look in a minute ago.
BUILDER. [In absolute dismay] You! You what?
MRS BUILDER. Yes. I will put no obstacle in the way of your pleasures.
BUILDER. [Aghast] Put no obstacle? What do you mean? Julia, how can you say a thing like that? Why, I've only just--
MRS BUILDER. Don't! I saw.
BUILDER. The girl fell on my knees. Julia, she did. She's--she's a little devil. I--I resisted her. I give you my word there's been nothing beyond a kiss, under great provocation. I--I apologise.
MRS BUILDER. [Bows her head] Thank you! I quite understand. But you must forgive my feeling it impossible to remain a wet blanket any longer.
BUILDER. What! Because of a little thing like that--all over in two minutes, and I doing my utmost.
MRS BUILDER. My dear John, the fact that you had to do your utmost is quite enough. I feel continually humiliated in your house, and I want to leave it--quite quietly, without fuss of any kind.
BUILDER. But--my God! Julia, this is awful--it's absurd! How can you? I'm your husband. Really--your saying you don't mind what I do--it's not right; it's immoral!
MRS BUILDER. I'm afraid you don't see what goes on in those who live with you. So, I'll just go. Don't bother!
BUILDER. Now, look here, Julia, you can't mean this seriously. You can't! Think of my position! You've never set yourself up against me before.
MRS BUILDER. But I do now.
BUILDER. [After staring at her] I've given you no real reason. I'll send the girl away. You ought to thank me for resisting a temptation that most men would have yielded to. After twenty-three years of married life, to kick up like this--you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
MRS BUILDER. I'm sure you must think so.
BUILDER. Oh! for heaven's sake don't be sarcastic! You're my wife, and there's an end of it; you've no legal excuse. Don't be absurd!
MRS BUILDER. Good-bye!
BUILDER. D'you realise that you're encouraging me to go wrong? That's a pretty thing for a wife to do. You ought to keep your husband straight.
MRS BUILDER. How beautifully put!
BUILDER. [Almost pathetically] Don't rile me Julia! I've had an awful day. First Athene--then Maud--then that girl--and now you! All at once like this! Like a swarm of bees about one's head. [Pleading] Come, now, Julia, don't be so--so im practicable! You'll make us the laughing-stock of the whole town. A man in my position, and can't keep his own family; it's preposterous!
MRS BUILDER. Your own family have lives and thoughts and feelings of their own.
BUILDER. Oh! This damned Woman's business! I knew how it would be when we gave you the vote. You and I are married, and our daughters are our daughters. Come, Julia. Where's your commonsense? After twenty-three years! You know I can't do without you!
MRS BUILDER. You could--quite easily. You can tell people what you like.
BUILDER. My God! I never heard anything so immoral in all my life from the mother of two grownup girls. No wonder they've turned out as they have! What is it you want, for goodness sake?
MRS BUILDER. We just want to be away from you, that's all. I assure you it's best. When you've shown some consideration for our feelings and some real sign that we exist apart from you--we could be friends again-- perhaps--I don't know.
BUILDER. Friends! Good heavens! With one's own wife and daughters! [With great earnestness] Now, look here, Julia, you haven't lived with me all this time without knowing that I'm a man of strong passions; I've been a faithful husband to you--yes, I have. And that means resisting all sorts of temptations you know nothing of. If you withdraw from my society I won't answer for the consequences. In fact, I can't have you withdrawing. I'm not going to see myself going to the devil and losing the good opinion of everybody round me. A bargain's a bargain. And until I've broken my side of it, and I tell you I haven't--you've no business to break yours. That's flat. So now, put all that out of your head.
MRS BUILDER. No.
BUILDER. [Intently] D'you realise that I've supported you in luxury and comfort?
MRS BUILDER. I think I've earned it.
BUILDER. And how do you propose to live? I shan't give you a penny. Come, Julia, don't be such an idiot! Fancy letting a kiss which no man could have helped, upset you like this!
MRS BUILDER. The Camille, and the last straw!
BUILDER. [Sharply] I won't have it. So now you know.
But MRS BUILDER has very swiftly gone.
Julia, I tell you-- [The outer door is heard being closed] Damnation! I will not have it! They're all mad! Here--where's my hat?
He looks distractedly round him, wrenches open the door, and a moment later the street door is heard to shut with a bang.
CURTAIN.
Act III, Scene I
Ten o'clock the following morning, in the study of the Mayor of Breconridge, a panelled room with no window visible, a door Left back and a door Right forward. The entire back wall is furnished with books from floor to ceiling; the other walls are panelled and bare. Before the fireplace, Left, are two armchairs, and other chairs are against the walls. On the Right is a writing-bureau at right angles to the footlights, with a chair behind it. At its back corner stands HARRIS, telephoning.
HARRIS. What--[Pause] Well, it's infernally awkward, Sergeant. . . . The Mayor's in a regular stew. . . . [Listens] New constable? I should think so! Young fool! Look here, Martin, the only thing to do is to hear the charge here at once. I've sent for Mr Chantrey; he's on his way. Bring Mr Builder and the witnesses round sharp. See? And, I say, for God's sake keep it dark. Don't let the Press get on to it. Why you didn't let him go home--! Black eye? The constable? Well, serve him right. Blundering young ass! I mean, it's undermining all authority. . . . Well, you oughtn't--at least, I . . . Damn it all!--it's a nine days' wonder if it gets out--! All right! As soon as you can. [He hangs up the receiver, puts a second chair behind the bureau, and other chairs facing it.] [To himself] Here's a mess! Johnny Builder, of all men! What price Mayors!
The telephone rings.
Hallo? . . . Poaching charge? Well, bring him too; only, I say, keep him back till the other's over. By the way, Mr Chantrey's going shooting. He'll want to get off by eleven. What? . . Righto !
As he hangs up the receiver the MAYOR enters. He looks worried, and is still dressed with the indefinable wrongness of a burgher.
MAYOR. Well, 'Arris?
HARRIS. They'll be over in five minutes, Mr Mayor.
MAYOR. Mr Chantrey?
HARRIS. On his way, sir.
MAYOR. I've had some awkward things to deal with in my time, 'Arris, but this is just about the [Sniffs] limit.
HARRIS. Most uncomfortable, Sir; most uncomfortable!
MAYOR. Put a book on the chair, 'Arris; I like to sit 'igh.
HARRIS puts a volume of Eneyclopaedia on the Mayor's chair behind the bureau.
[Deeply] Our fellow-magistrate! A family man! In my shoes next year. I suppose he won't be, now. You can't keep these things dark.
HARRIS. I've warned Martin, sir, to use the utmost discretion. Here's Mr Chantrey.
By the door Left, a pleasant and comely gentleman has entered, dressed with indefinable rightness in shooting clothes.
MAYOR. Ah, Chantrey!
CHANTREY. How de do, Mr Mayor? [Nodding to HARRIS] This is extraordinarily unpleasant.
The MAYOR nods.
What on earth's he been doing?
HARRIS. Assaulting one of his own daughters with a stick; and resisting the police.
CHANTREY. [With a low whistle] Daughter! Charity begins at home.
HARRIS. There's a black eye.
MAYOR. Whose?
HARRIS. The constable's.
CHANTREY. How did the police come into it?
HARRIS. I don't know, sir. The worst of it is he's been at the police station since four o'clock yesterday. The Superintendent's away, and Martin never will take responsibility.
CHANTREY. By George! he will be mad. John Builder's a choleric fellow.
MAYOR. [Nodding] He is. 'Ot temper, and an 'igh sense of duty.
HARRIS. There's one other charge, Mr Mayor--poaching. I told them to keep that back till after.
CHANTREY. Oh, well, we'll make short work of that. I want to get off by eleven, Harris. I shall be late for the first drive anyway. John Builder! I say, Mayor--but for the grace of God, there go we!
MAYOR. Harris, go out and bring them in yourself; don't let the servants--
HARRIS goes out Left. The MAYOR takes the upper chair behind the bureau, sitting rather higher because of the book than CHANTREY, who takes the lower. Now that they are in the seats of justice, a sort of reticence falls on them, as if they were afraid of giving away their attitudes of mind to some unseen presence.
MAYOR. [Suddenly] H'm!
CHANTREY. Touch of frost. Birds ought to come well to the guns--no wind. I like these October days.
MAYOR. I think I 'ear them. H'm.
CHANTREY drops his eyeglass and puts on a pair of "grandfather" spectacles. The MAYOR clears his throat and takes up a pen. They neither of them look up as the door is opened and a little procession files in. First HARRIS; then RALPH BUILDER, ATHENE, HERRINGHAME, MAUD, MRS BUILDER, SERGEANT MARTIN, carrying a heavy Malacca cane with a silver knob; JOHN BUILDER and the CONSTABLE MOON, a young man with one black eye. No funeral was ever attended by mutes so solemn and dejected. They stand in a sort of row.
MAYOR. [Without looking up] Sit down, ladies; sit down.
HARRIS and HERRINGHAME succeed in placing the three women in chairs. RALPH BUILDER also sits. HERRINGHAME stands behind. JOHN BUILDER remains standing between the two POLICEMEN. His face is unshaved and menacing, but he stands erect staring straight at the MAYOR. HARRIS goes to the side of the bureau, Back, to take down the evidence.
MAYOR. Charges!
SERGEANT. John Builder, of The Cornerways, Breconridge, Contractor and Justice of the Peace, charged with assaulting his daughter Maud Builder by striking her with a stick in the presence of Constable Moon and two other persons; also with resisting Constable Moon in the execution of his duty, and injuring his eye. Constable Moon!
MOON. [Stepping forward-one, two--like an automaton, and saluting] In River Road yesterday afternoon, Your Worship, about three-thirty p.m., I was attracted by a young woman callin' "Constable" outside a courtyard. On hearing the words "Follow me, quick," I followed her to a painter's studio inside the courtyard, where I found three persons in the act of disagreement. No sooner 'ad I appeared than the defendant, who was engaged in draggin' a woman towards the door, turns to the young woman who accompanied me, with violence. "You dare, father," she says; whereupon he hit her twice with the stick the same which is produced, in the presence of myself and the two other persons, which I'm given to understand is his wife and other daughter.
MAYOR. Yes; never mind what you're given to understand.
MOON. No, sir. The party struck turns to me and says, "Come in. I give this man in charge for assault." I moves accordingly with the words: "I saw you. Come along with me." The defendant turns to me sharp and says: "You stupid lout--I'm a magistrate." "Come off it," I says to the best of my recollection. "You struck this woman in my presence," I says, "and you come along!" We were then at close quarters. The defendant gave me a push with the words: "Get out, you idiot!" "Not at all," I replies, and took 'old of his arm. A struggle ensues, in the course of which I receives the black eye which I herewith produce. [He touches his eye with awful solemnity.]
The MAYOR clears his throat; CHANTREY'S eyes goggle; HARRIS bends over and writes rapidly.
During the struggle, Your Worship, a young man has appeared on the scene, and at the instigation of the young woman, the same who was assaulted, assists me in securing the prisoner, whose language and resistance was violent in the extreme. We placed him in a cab which we found outside, and I conveyed him to the station.
CHANTREY. What was his--er--conduct in the--er--cab?
MOON. He sat quiet.
CHANTREY. That seems--
MOON. Seein' I had his further arm twisted behind him.
MAYOR [Looking at BUILDER] Any questions to ask him?
BUILDER makes not the faintest sign, and the MAYOR drops his glance.
MAYOR. Sergeant?
MOON steps back two paces, and the SERGEANT steps two paces forward.
SERGEANT. At ten minutes to four, Your Worship, yesterday afternoon, Constable Moon brought the defendant to the station in a four-wheeled cab. On his recounting the circumstances of the assault, they were taken down and read over to the defendant with the usual warning. The defendant said nothing. In view of the double assault and the condition of the constable's eye, and in the absence of the Superintendent, I thought it my duty to retain the defendant for the night.
MAYOR. The defendant said nothing?
SERGEANT. He 'as not opened his lips to my knowledge, Your Worship, from that hour to this.
MAYOR. Any questions to ask the Sergeant?
BUILDER continues to stare at the MAYOR without a word.
MAYOR. Very well!
The MAYOR and CHANTREY now consult each other inaudibly, and the Mayor nods.
MAYOR. Miss Maud Builder, will you tell us what you know of this--er-- occurrence?
MAUD. [Rising; with eyes turning here and there] Must I?
MAYOR. I'm afraid you must.
MAUD. [After a look at her father, who never turns his eyes from the MAYOR's face] I--I wish to withdraw the charge of striking me, please. I--I never meant to make it. I was in a temper--I saw red.
MAYOR. I see. A--a domestic disagreement. Very well, that charge is withdrawn. You do not appear to have been hurt, and that seems to me quite proper. Now, tell me what you know of the assault on the constable. Is his account correct?
MAUD. [Timidly] Ye-yes. Only--
MAYOR. Yes? Tell us the truth.
MAUD. [Resolutely] Only, I don't think my father hit the constable. I think the stick did that.
MAYOR. Oh, the stick? But--er--the stick was in 'is 'and, wasn't it?
MAUD. Yes; but I mean, my father saw red, and the constable saw red, and the stick flew up between them and hit him in the eye.
CHANTREY. And then he saw black?
MAYOR. [With corrective severity] But did 'e 'it 'im with the stick?
MAUD. No--no. I don't think he did.
MAYOR. Then who supplied the--er--momentum?
MAUD. I think there was a struggle for the cane, and it flew up.
MAYOR. Hand up the cane.
The SERGEANT hands up the cane. The MAYOR and CHANTREY examine it. MAYOR. Which end--do you suggest--inflicted this injury?
MAUD. Oh! the knob end, sir.
MAYOR. What do you say to that, constable?
MOON. [Stepping the mechanical two paces] I don't deny there was a struggle, Your Worship, but it's my impression I was 'it.
CHANTREY. Of course you were bit; we can see that. But with the cane or with the fist?
MOON. [A little flurried] I--I--with the fist, sir.
MAYOR. Be careful. Will you swear to that?
MOON. [With that sudden uncertainty which comes over the most honest in such circumstances] Not--not so to speak in black and white, Your Worship; but that was my idea at the time.
MAYOR. You won't swear to it?
MOON. I'll swear he called me an idiot and a lout; the words made a deep impression on me.
CHANTREY. [To himself] Mort aux vaches!
MAYOR. Eh? That'll do, constable; stand back. Now, who else saw the struggle? Mrs Builder. You're not obliged to say anything unless you like. That's your privilege as his wife.
While he is speaking the door has been opened, and HARRIS has gone swiftly to it, spoken to someone and returned. He leans forward to the MAYOR.
Eh? Wait a minute. Mrs Builder, do you wish to give evidence?
MRS BUILDER. [Rising] No, Mr Mayor.
MRS BUILDER Sits.
MAYOR. Very good. [To HARRIS] Now then, what is it?
HARRIS says something in a low and concerned voice. The MAYOR'S face lengthens. He leans to his right and consults CHANTREY, who gives a faint and deprecating shrug. A moment's silence.
MAYOR. This is an open Court. The Press have the right to attend if they wish.
HARRIS goes to the door and admits a young man in glasses, of a pleasant appearance, and indicates to him a chair at the back. At this untimely happening BUILDER's eyes have moved from side to side, but now he regains his intent and bull-like stare at his fellow-justices.
MAYOR. [To Maud] You can sit down, Miss Builder.
MAUD resumes her seat.
Miss Athene Builder, you were present, I think?
ATHENE. [Rising] Yes, Sir.
MAYOR. What do you say to this matter?
ATHENE. I didn't see anything very clearly, but I think my sister's account is correct, sir.
MAYOR. Is it your impression that the cane inflicted the injury?
ATHENE. [In a low voice] Yes.
MAYOR. With or without deliberate intent?
ATHENE. Oh! without.
BUILDER looks at her.
MAYOR. But you were not in a position to see very well?
ATHENE. No, Sir.
MAYOR. Your sister having withdrawn her charge, we needn't go into that. Very good!
He motions her to sit down. ATHENE, turning her eyes on her Father's impassive figure, sits.
MAYOR. Now, there was a young man. [Pointing to HERRINGHAME] Is this the young man?
MOON. Yes, Your Worship.
MAYOR. What's your name?
GUY. Guy Herringhame.
MAYOR. Address?
GUY. Er--the Aerodrome, Sir. MAYOR. Private, I mean?
The moment is one of considerable tension.
GUY. [With an effort] At the moment, sir, I haven't one. I've just left my diggings, and haven't yet got any others.
MAYOR. H'm! The Aerodrome. How did you come to be present?
GUY. I--er
BUILDER's eyes go round and rest on him for a moment.
It's in my sister's studio that Miss Athene Builder is at present working, sir. I just happened to--to turn up.
MAYOR. Did you appear on the scene, as the constable says, during the struggle?
GUY. Yes, sir.
MAYOR. Did he summon you to his aid?
GUY. Yes--No, sir. Miss Maud Builder did that.
MAYOR. What do you say to this blow?
GUY. [Jerking his chin up a little] Oh! I saw that clearly.
MAYOR. Well, let us hear.
GUY. The constable's arm struck the cane violently and it flew up and landed him in the eye.
MAYOR. [With a little grunt] You are sure of that?
GUY. Quite sure, sir.
MAYOR. Did you hear any language?
GUY. Nothing out of the ordinary, sir. One or two damns and blasts.
MAYOR. You call that ordinary?
GUY. Well, he's a--magistrate, sir.
The MAYOR utters a profound grunt. CHANTREY smiles. There is a silence. Then the MAYOR leans over to CHANTREY for a short colloquy.
CHANTREY. Did you witness any particular violence other than a resistance to arrest?
GUY. No, sir.
MAYOR. [With a gesture of dismissal] Very well, That seems to be the evidence. Defendant John Builder--what do you say to all this?
BUILDER. [In a voice different from any we have heard from him] Say! What business had he to touch me, a magistrate? I gave my daughter two taps with a cane in a private house, for interfering with me for taking my wife home--
MAYOR. That charge is not pressed, and we can't go into the circumstances. What do you wish to say about your conduct towards the constable?
BUILDER. [In his throat] Not a damned thing!
MAYOR. [Embarrassed] I--I didn't catch.
CHANTREY. Nothing--nothing, he said, Mr Mayor.
MAYOR. [Clearing his throat] I understand, then, that you do not wish to offer any explanation?
BUILDER. I consider myself abominably treated, and I refuse to say another word.
MAYOR. [Drily] Very good. Miss Maud Builder.
MAUD stands up.
MAYOR. When you spoke of the defendant seeing red, what exactly did you mean?
MAUD. I mean that my father was so angry that he didn't know what he was doing.
CHANTREY. Would you say as angry as he--er--is now?
MAUD. [With a faint smile] Oh! much more angry.
RALPH BUILDER stands up.
RALPH. Would you allow me to say a word, Mr Mayor?
MAYOR. Speaking of your own knowledge, Mr Builder?
RALPH. In regard to the state of my brother's mind--yes, Mr Mayor. He was undoubtedly under great strain yesterday; certain circumstances, domestic and otherwise--
MAYOR. You mean that he might have been, as one might say, beside himself?
RALPH. Exactly, Sir.
MAYOR. Had you seen your brother?
RALPH. I had seen him shortly before this unhappy business.
The MAYOR nods and makes a gesture, so that MAUD and RALPH sit down; then, leaning over, he confers in a low voice with CHANTREY. The rest all sit or stand exactly as if each was the only person in the room, except the JOURNALIST, who is writing busily and rather obviously making a sketch of BUILDER.
MAYOR. Miss Athene Builder.
ATHENE stands up.
This young man, Mr Herringhame, I take it, is a friend of the family's?
A moment of some tension.
ATHENE. N--no, Mr Mayor, not of my father or mother.
CHANTREY. An acquaintance of yours?
ATHENE. Yes.
MAYOR. Very good. [He clears his throat] As the defendant, wrongly, we think, refuses to offer his explanation of this matter, the Bench has to decide on the evidence as given. There seems to be some discrepancy as to the blow which the constable undoubtedly received. In view of this, we incline to take the testimony of Mr--
HARRIS prompts him.
Mr 'Erringhame--as the party least implicated personally in the affair, and most likely to 'ave a cool and impartial view. That evidence is to the effect that the blow was accidental. There is no doubt, however, that the defendant used reprehensible language, and offered some resistance to the constable in the execution of his duty. Evidence 'as been offered that he was in an excited state of mind; and it is possible --I don't say that this is any palliation--but it is possible that he may have thought his position as magistrate made him--er--
CHANTREY. [Prompting] Caesar's wife.
MAYOR. Eh? We think, considering all the circumstances, and the fact that he has spent a night in a cell, that justice will be met by--er-- discharging him with a caution.
BUILDER. [With a deeply muttered] The devil you do!
Walks out of the room. The JOURNALIST, grabbing his pad, starts up and follows. The BUILDERS rise and huddle, and, with HERRINGHAME, are ushered out by HARRIS.
MAYOR. [Pulling out a large handkerchief and wiping his forehead] My Aunt!
CHANTREY. These new constables, Mayor! I say, Builder'll have to go! Damn the Press, how they nose everything out! The Great Unpaid!-- We shall get it again! [He suddenly goes off into a fit of laughter] "Come off it," I says, "to the best of my recollection." Oh! Oh! I shan't hit a bird all day! That poor devil Builder! It's no joke for him. You did it well, Mayor; you did it well. British justice is safe in your hands. He blacked the fellow's eye all right. "Which I herewith produce." Oh! my golly! It beats the band!
His uncontrollable laughter and the MAYOR'S rueful appreciation are exchanged with lightning rapidity for a preternatural solemnity, as the door opens, admitting SERGEANT MARTIN and the lugubrious object of their next attentions.
MAYOR. Charges.
SERGEANT steps forward to read the charge as
The CURTAIN falls.
Act III, Scene II
Noon the same day.
BUILDER'S study. TOPPING is standing by the open window, looking up and down the street. A newspaper boy's voice is heard calling the first edition of his wares. It approaches from the Right.
TOPPING. Here!
BOY'S VOICE. Right, guv'nor! Johnny Builder up before the beaks! [A paper is pushed up].
TOPPING. [Extending a penny] What's that you're sayin'? You take care!
BOY'S VOICE. It's all 'ere. Johnny Builder--beatin' his wife! Dischawged.
TOPPING. Stop it, you young limb!
BOY'S VOICE. 'Allo! What's the matter wiv you? Why, it's Johnny Builder's house! [Gives a cat-call] 'Ere, buy anuvver! 'E'll want to read about 'isself. [Appealing] Buy anuvver, guv'nor!
TOPPING. Move on!
He retreats from the window, opening the paper.
BOY'S VOICE. [Receding] Payper! First edition! J.P. chawged! Payper!
TOPPING. [To himself as he reads] Crimes! Phew! That accounts for them bein' away all night.
While he is reading, CAMILLE enters from the hall. Here! Have you seen this, Camel--in the Stop Press?
CAMILLE. No.
They read eagerly side by side.
TOPPING. [Finishing aloud] "Tried to prevent her father from forcing her mother to return home with him, and he struck her for so doing. She did not press the charge. The arrested gentleman, who said he acted under great provocation, was discharged with a caution." Well, I'm blowed! He has gone and done it!
CAMILLE. A black eye!
TOPPING. [Gazing at her] Have you had any hand in this? I've seen you making your lovely black eyes at him. You foreigners--you're a loose lot!
CAMILLE. You are drunk!
TOPPING. Not yet, my dear. [Reverting to the paper; philosophically] Well, this little lot's bust up! The favourites will fall down. Johnny Builder! Who'd have thought it?
CAMILLE. He is an obstinate man.
TOPPING. Ah! He's right up against it now. Comes of not knowin' when to stop bein' firm. If you meet a wall with your 'ead, it's any odds on the wall, Camel. Though, if you listened to some, you wouldn't think it. What'll he do now, I wonder? Any news of the mistress?
CAMILLE. [Shaking her head] I have pack her tr-runks.
TOPPING. Why?
CAMILLE. Because she take her jewels yesterday.
TOPPING. Deuce she did! They generally leave 'em. Take back yer gifts! She throws the baubles at 'is 'ead. [Again staring at her] You're a deep one, you know!
There is the sound of a cab stopping.
Wonder if that's him! [He goes towards the hall. CAMILLE watchfully shifts towards the diningroom door. MAUD enters.]
MAUD. Is my father back, Topping?
TOPPING. Not yet, Miss.
MAUD. I've come for mother's things.
CAMILLE. They are r-ready.
MAUD. [Eyeing her] Topping, get them down, please.
TOPPING, after a look at them both, goes out into the hall.
Very clever of you to have got them ready.
CAMILLE. I am clevare.
MAUD. [Almost to herself] Yes--father may, and he may not.
CAMILLE. Look! If you think I am a designing woman, you are mistook. I know when things are too 'ot. I am not sorry to go.
MAUD. Oh! you are going?
CAMILLE. Yes, I am going. How can I stay when there is no lady in the 'ouse?
MAUD. Not even if you're asked to?
CAMILLE. Who will ask me?
MAUD. That we shall see.
CAMILLE. Well, you will see I have an opinion of my own.
MAUD. Oh! yes, you're clear-headed enough.
CAMILLE. I am not arguing. Good-morning!
Exits up Left.
MAUD regards her stolidly as she goes out into the dining-room, then takes up the paper and reads.
MAUD. Horrible!
TOPPING re-enters from the hall.
TOPPING. I've got 'em on the cab, Miss. I didn't put your ten bob on yesterday, because the animal finished last. You cant depend on horses.
MAUD. [Touching the newspaper] This is a frightful business, Topping.
TOPPING. Ah! However did it happen, Miss Maud?
MAUD. [Tapping the newspaper] It's all true. He came after my mother to Miss Athene's, and I--I couldn't stand it. I did what it says here; and now I'm sorry. Mother's dreadfully upset. You know father as well as anyone, Topping; what do you think he'll do now?
TOPPING. [Sucking in his cheeks] Well, you see, Miss, it's like this: Up to now Mr Builder's always had the respect of everybody--
MAUD moves her head impatiently.
outside his own house, of course. Well, now he hasn't got it. Pishchologically that's bound to touch him.
MAUD. Of course; but which way? Will he throw up the sponge, or try and stick it out here?
TOPPING. He won't throw up the sponge, Miss; more likely to squeeze it down the back of their necks.
MAUD. He'll be asked to resign, of course.
The NEWSPAPER BOY'S VOICE is heard again approaching: "First edition! Great sensation! Local magistrate before the Bench! Pay-per!"
Oh, dear! I wish I hadn't! But I couldn't see mother being--
TOPPING. Don't you fret, Miss; he'll come through. His jaw's above his brow, as you might say.
MAUD. What?
TOPPING. [Nodding] Phreenology, Miss. I rather follow that. When the jaw's big and the brow is small, it's a sign of character. I always think the master might have been a Scotchman, except for his fishionomy.
MAUD. A Scotsman?
TOPPING. So down on anything soft, Miss. Haven't you noticed whenever one of these 'Umanitarians writes to the papers, there's always a Scotchman after him next morning. Seems to be a fact of 'uman nature, like introducin' rabbits into a new country and then weasels to get rid of 'em. And then something to keep down the weasels. But I never can see what could keep down a Scotchman! You seem to reach the hapex there!
MAUD. Miss Athene was married this morning, Topping. We've just come from the Registrar's.
TOPPING. [Immovably] Indeed, Miss. I thought perhaps she was about to be.
MAUD. Oh!
TOPPING. Comin' events. I saw the shadder yesterday.
MAUD. Well, it's all right. She's coming on here with my uncle.
A cab is heard driving up.
That's them, I expect. We all feel awful about father.
TOPPING. Ah! I shouldn't be surprised if he feels awful about you, Miss.
MAUD. [At the window] It is them.
TOPPING goes out into the hall; ATHENE and RALPH enter Right.
MAUD. Where's father, Uncle Ralph?
RALPH. With his solicitor.
ATHENE. We left Guy with mother at the studio. She still thinks she ought to come. She keeps on saying she must, now father's in a hole.
MAUD. I've got her things on the cab; she ought to be perfectly free to choose.
RALPH. You've got freedom on the brain, Maud.
MAUD. So would you, Uncle Ralph, if you had father about.
RALPH. I'm his partner, my dear.
MAUD. Yes; how do you manage him?
RALPH. I've never yet given him in charge.
ATHENE. What do you do, Uncle Ralph?
RALPH. Undermine him when I can.
MAUD. And when you can't?
RALPH. Undermine the other fellow. You can't go to those movie people now, Maud. They'd star you as the celebrated Maud Builder who gave her father into custody. Come to us instead, and have perfect freedom, till all this blows over.
MAUD. Oh! what will father be like now?
ATHENE. It's so queer you and he being brothers, Uncle Ralph.
RALPH. There are two sides to every coin, my dear. John's the head-and I'm the tail. He has the sterling qualities. Now, you girls have got to smooth him down, and make up to him. You've tried him pretty high.
MAUD. [Stubbornly] I never wanted him for a father, Uncle.
RALPH. They do wonderful things nowadays with inherited trouble. Come, are you going to be nice to him, both of you?
ATHENE. We're going to try.
RALPH. Good! I don't even now understand how it happened.
MAUD. When you went out with Guy, it wasn't three minutes before he came. Mother had just told us about--well, about something beastly. Father wanted us to go, and we agreed to go out for five minutes while he talked to mother. We went, and when we came back he told me to get a cab to take mother home. Poor mother stood there looking like a ghost, and he began hunting and hauling her towards the door. I saw red, and instead of a cab I fetched that policeman. Of course father did black his eye. Guy was splendid.
ATHENE. You gave him the lead.
MAUD. I couldn't help it, seeing father standing there all dumb.
ATHENE. It was awful! Uncle, why didn't you come back with Guy?
MAUD. Oh, yes! why didn't you, Uncle?
ATHENE. When Maud had gone for the cab, I warned him not to use force. I told him it was against the law, but he only said: "The law be damned!"
RALPH. Well, it all sounds pretty undignified.
MAUD. Yes; everybody saw red.
They have not seen the door opened from the hall, and BUILDER standing there. He is still unshaven, a little sunken in the face, with a glum, glowering expression. He has a document in his hand. He advances a step or two and they see him.
ATHENE and MAUD. [Aghast] Father!
BUILDER. Ralph, oblige me! See them off the premises!
RALPH. Steady, John!
BUILDER. Go!
MAUD. [Proudly] All right! We thought you might like to know that Athene's married, and that I've given up the movies. Now we'll go.
BUILDER turns his back on them, and, sitting down at his writing-table, writes.
After a moment's whispered conversation with their Uncle, the two girls go out.
RALPH BUILDER stands gazing with whimsical commiseration at his brother's back. As BUILDER finishes writing, he goes up and puts his hand on his brother's shoulder.
RALPH. This is an awful jar, old man!
BUILDER. Here's what I've said to that fellow: "MR MAYOR,--You had the effrontery to-day to discharge me with a caution--forsooth!--your fellow --magistrate. I've consulted my solicitor as to whether an action will lie for false imprisonment. I'm informed that it won't. I take this opportunity of saying that justice in this town is a travesty. I have no wish to be associated further with you or your fellows; but you are vastly mistaken if you imagine that I shall resign my position on the Bench or the Town Council.--Yours, "JOHN BUILDER."
RALPH. I say--keep your sense of humour, old boy.
BUILDER. [Grimly] Humour? I've spent a night in a cell. See this! [He holds out the document] It disinherits my family.
RALPH. John!
BUILDER. I've done with those two ladies. As to my wife--if she doesn't come back--! When I suffer, I make others suffer.
RALPH. Julia's very upset, my dear fellow; we all are. The girls came here to try and--
BUILDER. [Rising] They may go to hell! If that lousy Mayor thinks I'm done with--he's mistaken! [He rings the bell] I don't want any soft sawder. I'm a fighter.
RALPH. [In a low voice] The enemy stands within the gate, old chap.
BUILDER. What's that?
RALPH. Let's boss our own natures before we boss those of other people. Have a sleep on it, John, before you do anything.
BUILDER. Sleep? I hadn't a wink last night. If you'd passed the night I had--
RALPH. I hadn't many myself.
TOPPING enters.
BUILDER. Take this note to the Mayor with my compliments, and don't bring back an answer. TOPPING. Very good, sir. There's a gentleman from the "Comet" in the hall, sir. Would you see him for a minute, he says.
BUILDER. Tell him to go to--
A voice says, "Mr Builder!" BUILDER turns to see the figure of the JOURNALIST in the hall doorway. TOPPING goes out.
JOURNALIST. [Advancing with his card] Mr Builder, it's very good of you to see me. I had the pleasure this morning--I mean--I tried to reach you when you left the Mayor's. I thought you would probably have your own side of this unfortunate matter. We shall be glad to give it every prominence.
TOPPING has withdrawn, and RALPH BUILDER, at the window, stands listening.
BUILDER. [Drily, regarding the JOURNALIST, who has spoken in a pleasant and polite voice] Very good of you!
JOURNALIST. Not at all, sir. We felt that you would almost certainly have good reasons of your own which would put the matter in quite a different light.
BUILDER. Good reasons? I should think so! I tell you--a very little more of this liberty--licence I call it--and there isn't a man who'll be able to call himself head of a family.
JOURNALIST. [Encouragingly] Quite!
BUILDER. If the law thinks it can back up revolt, it's damned well mistaken. I struck my daughter--I was in a passion, as you would have been.
JOURNALIST. [Encouraging] I'm sure--
BUILDER. [Glaring at him] Well, I don't know that you would; you look a soft sort; but any man with any blood in him.
JOURNALIST. Can one ask what she was doing, sir? We couldn't get that point quite clear.
BUILDER. Doing? I just had my arm round my wife, trying to induce her to come home with me after a little family tiff, and this girl came at me. I lost my temper, and tapped her with my cane. And--that policeman brought by my own daughter--a policeman! If the law is going to enter private houses and abrogate domestic authority, where the hell shall we be?
JOURNALIST. [Encouraging] No, I'm sure--I'm sure!
BUILDER. The maudlin sentimentality in these days is absolutely rotting this country. A man can't be master in his own house, can't require his wife to fulfil her duties, can't attempt to control the conduct of his daughters, without coming up against it and incurring odium. A man can't control his employees; he can't put his foot down on rebellion anywhere, without a lot of humanitarians and licence-lovers howling at him.
JOURNALIST. Excellent, Sir; excellent!
BUILDER. Excellent? It's damnable. Here am I--a man who's always tried to do his duty in private life and public--brought up before the Bench-- my God! because I was doing that duty; with a little too much zeal, perhaps--I'm not an angel!
JOURNALIST. No! No! of course.
BUILDER. A proper Englishman never is. But there are no proper Englishmen nowadays.
He crosses the room in his fervour.
RALPH. [Suddenly] As I look at faces--
BUILDER. [Absorbed] What! I told this young man I wasn't an angel.
JOURNALIST. [Drawing him on] Yes, Sir; I quite understand.
BUILDER. If the law thinks it can force me to be one of your weak-kneed sentimentalists who let everybody do what they like--
RALPH. There are a good many who stand on their rights left, John.
BUILDER. [Absorbed] What! How can men stand on their rights left?
JOURNALIST. I'm afraid you had a painful experience, sir.
BUILDER. Every kind of humiliation. I spent the night in a stinking cell. I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday. Did they think I was going to eat the muck they shoved in? And all because in a moment of anger--which I regret, I regret!--I happened to strike my daughter, who was interfering between me and my wife. The thing would be funny if it weren't so disgusting. A man's house used to be sanctuary. What is it now? With all the world poking their noses in?
He stands before the fire with his head bent, excluding as it were his interviewer and all the world.
JOURNALIST. [Preparing to go] Thank you very much, Mr Builder. I'm sure I can do you justice. Would you like to see a proof?
BUILDER. [Half conscious of him] What?
JOURNALIST. Or will you trust me?
BUILDER. I wouldn't trust you a yard.
JOURNALIST. [At the door] Very well, sir; you shall have a proof, I promise. Good afternoon, and thank you.
BUILDER. Here!
But he is gone, and BUILDER is left staring at his brother, on whose face is still that look of whimsical commiseration.
RALPH. Take a pull, old man! Have a hot bath and go to bed.
BUILDER. They've chosen to drive me to extremes, now let them take the consequences. I don't care a kick what anybody thinks.
RALPH. [Sadly] Well, I won't worry you anymore, now.
BUILDER. [With a nasty laugh] No; come again to-morrow!
RALPH. When you've had a sleep. For the sake of the family name, John, don't be hasty.
BUILDER. Shut the stable door? No, my boy, the horse has gone.
RALPH. Well, Well!
With a lingering look at his brother, who has sat down sullenly at the writing table, he goes out into the hall.
BUILDER remains staring in front of him. The dining-room door opens, and CAMILLE's head is thrust in. Seeing him, she draws back, but he catches sight of her.
BUILDER. Here!
CAMILLE comes doubtfully up to the writing table. Her forehead is puckered as if she were thinking hard.
BUILDER. [Looking at her, unsmiling] So you want to be my mistress, do you?
CAMILLE makes a nervous gesture.
Well, you shall. Come here.
CAMILLE. [Not moving] You f--frighten me.
BUILDER. I've paid a pretty price for you. But you'll make up for it; you and others.
CAMILLE. [Starting back] No; I don't like you to-day! No!
BUILDER. Come along! [She is just within reach and he seizes her arm] All my married life I've put a curb on myself for the sake of respectability. I've been a man of principle, my girl, as you saw yesterday. Well, they don't want that! [He draws her close] You can sit on my knee now.
CAMILLE. [Shrinking] No; I don't want to, to-day.
BUILDER. But you shall. They've asked for it!
CAMILLE. [With a supple movement slipping away from him] They? What is all that? I don't want any trouble. No, no; I am not taking any.
She moves back towards the door. BUILDER utters a sardonic laugh.
Oh! you are a dangerous man! No, no! Not for me! Good-bye, sare!
She turns swiftly and goes out. BUILDER again utters his glum laugh. And then, as he sits alone staring before him, perfect silence reigns in the room. Over the window-sill behind him a BOY'S face is seen to rise; it hangs there a moment with a grin spreading on it.
BOY'S VOICE. [Sotto] Johnny Builder!
As BUILDER turns sharply, it vanishes.
'Oo beat 'is wife?
BUILDER rushes to the window.
BOY'S VOICE. [More distant and a little tentative] Johnny Builder!
BUILDER. You little devil! If I catch you, I'll wring your blasted little neck!
BOY'S VOICE. [A little distant] 'Oo blacked the copper's eye?
BUILDER, in an ungovernable passion, seizes a small flower-pot from the sill and dings it with all his force. The sound of a crash.
BOY'S VOICE. [Very distant] Ya-a-ah! Missed!
BUILDER stands leaning out, face injected with blood, shaking his fist.
The CURTAIN falls for a few seconds.
Act III, Scene III
Evening the same day.
BUILDER's study is dim and neglected-looking; the window is still open, though it has become night. A street lamp outside shines in, and the end of its rays fall on BUILDER asleep. He is sitting in a high chair at the fireside end of the writing-table, with his elbows on it, and his cheek resting on his hand. He is still unshaven, and his clothes unchanged. A Boy's head appears above the level of the window-sill, as if beheaded and fastened there.
BOY'S VOICE. [In a forceful whisper] Johnny Builder!
BUILDER stirs uneasily. The Boy's head vanishes. BUILDER, raising his other hand, makes a sweep before his face, as if to brush away a mosquito. He wakes. Takes in remembrance, and sits a moment staring gloomily before him. The door from the hall is opened and TOPPING comes in with a long envelope in his hand.
TOPPING. [Approaching] From the "Comet," sir. Proof of your interview, sir; will you please revise, the messenger says; he wants to take it back at once.
BUILDER. [Taking it] All right. I'll ring.
TOPPING. Shall I close in, sir?
BUILDER. Not now.
TOPPING withdraws. BUILDER turns up a standard lamp on the table, opens the envelope, and begins reading the galley slip. The signs of uneasiness and discomfort grow on him.
BUILDER. Did I say that? Muck! Muck! [He drops the proof, sits a moment moving his head and rubbing one hand uneasily on the surface of the table, then reaches out for the telephone receiver] Town, 245. [Pause] The "Comet"? John Builder. Give me the Editor. [Pause] That you, Mr Editor? John Builder speaking. That interview. I've got the proof. It won't do. Scrap the whole thing, please. I don't want to say anything. [Pause] Yes. I know I said it all; I can't help that. [Pause] No; I've changed my mind. Scrap it, please. [Pause] No, I will not say anything. [Pause] You can say what you dam' well please. [Pause] I mean it; if you put a word into my mouth, I'll sue you for defamation of character. It's undignified muck. I'm tearing it up. Good-night. [He replaces the receiver, and touches a bell; then, taking up the galley slip, he tears it viciously across into many pieces, and rams them into the envelope.]
TOPPING enters.
Here, give this to the messenger-sharp, and tell him to run with it.
TOPPING. [Whose hand can feel the condition of the contents, with a certain surprise] Yes, sir.
He goes, with a look back from the door.
The Mayor is here, sir. I don't know whether you would wish
BUILDER, rising, takes a turn up and down the room.
BUILDER. Nor do I. Yes! I'll see him.
TOPPING goes out, and BUILDER stands over by the fender, with his head a little down.
TOPPING. [Re-entering] The Mayor, sir.
He retires up Left. The MAYOR is overcoated, and carries, of all things, a top hat. He reaches the centre of the room before he speaks.
MAYOR. [Embarrassed] Well, Builder?
BUILDER. Well?
MAYOR. Come! That caution of mine was quite parliamentary. I 'ad to save face, you know.
BUILDER. And what about my face?
MAYOR. Well, you--you made it difficult for me. 'Ang it all! Put yourself into my place!
BUILDER. [Grimly] I'd rather put you into mine, as it was last night.
MAYOR. Yes, yes! I know; but the Bench has got a name to keep up--must stand well in the people's eyes. As it is, I sailed very near the wind. Suppose we had an ordinary person up before us for striking a woman?
BUILDER. I didn't strike a woman--I struck my daughter.
MAYOR. Well, but she's not a child, you know. And you did resist the police, if no worse. Come! You'd have been the first to maintain British justice. Shake 'ands!
BUILDER. Is that what you came for?
MAYOR. [Taken aback] Why--yes; nobody can be more sorry than I--
BUILDER. Eye-wash! You came to beg me to resign.
MAYOR. Well, it's precious awkward, Builder. We all feel--
BUILDER. Save your powder, Mayor. I've slept on it since I wrote you that note. Take my resignations.
MAYOR. [In relieved embarrassment] That's right. We must face your position.
BUILDER. [With a touch of grim humour] I never yet met a man who couldn't face another man's position.
MAYOR. After all, what is it?
BUILDER. Splendid isolation. No wife, no daughters, no Councillorship, no Magistracy, no future--[With a laugh] not even a French maid. And why? Because I tried to exercise a little wholesome family authority. That's the position you're facing, Mayor.
MAYOR. Dear, dear! You're devilish bitter, Builder. It's unfortunate, this publicity. But it'll all blow over; and you'll be back where you were. You've a good sound practical sense underneath your temper. [A pause] Come, now! [A pause] Well, I'll say good-night, then.
BUILDER. You shall have them in writing tomorrow.
MAYOR. [With sincerity] Come! Shake 'ands.
BUILDER, after a long look, holds out his hand. The two men exchange a grip.
The MAYOR, turning abruptly, goes out.
BUILDER remains motionless for a minute, then resumes his seat at the side of the writing table, leaning his head on his hands.
The Boy's head is again seen rising above the level of the window-sill, and another and another follows, till the three, as if decapitated, heads are seen in a row.
BOYS' VOICES. [One after another in a whispered crescendo] Johnny Builder! Johnny Builder! Johnny Builder!
BUILDER rises, turns and stares at them. The THREE HEADS disappear, and a Boy's voice cries shrilly: "Johnny Builder!" BUILDER moves towards the window; voices are now crying in various pitches and keys: "Johnny Builder!" "Beatey Builder!" "Beat 'is wife-er!" "Beatey Builder!"
BUILDER stands quite motionless, staring, with the street lamp lighting up a queer, rather pitiful defiance on his face. The voices swell. There comes a sudden swish and splash of water, and broken yells of dismay.
TOPPING'S VOICE. Scat! you young devils!
The sound of scuffling feet and a long-drawnout and distant "Miaou!"
BUILDER stirs, shuts the window, draws the curtains, goes to the armchair before the fireplace and sits down in it.
TOPPING enters with a little tray on which is a steaming jug of fluid, some biscuits and a glass. He comes stealthily up level with the chair. BUILDER stirs and looks up at him.
TOPPING. Excuse me, sir, you must 'ave digested yesterday morning's breakfast by now--must live to eat, sir.
BUILDER. All right. Put it down.
TOPPING. [Putting the tray down on the table and taking up BUILDER'S pipe] I fair copped those young devils.
BUILDER. You're a good fellow.
TOPPING. [Filling the pipe] You'll excuse me, sir; the Missis--has come back, sir--
BUILDER stares at him and TOPPING stops. He hands BUILDER the filled pipe and a box of matches.
BUILDER. [With a shiver] Light the fire, Topping. I'm chilly.
While TOPPING lights the fire BUILDER puts the pipe in his mouth and applies a match to it. TOPPING, having lighted the fire, turns to go, gets as far as half way, then comes back level with the table and regards the silent brooding figure in the chair.
BUILDER. [Suddenly] Give me that paper on the table. No; the other one--the Will.
TOPPING takes up the Will and gives it to him.
TOPPING. [With much hesitation] Excuse me, sir. It's pluck that get's 'em 'ome, sir--begging your pardon.
BUILDER has resumed his attitude and does not answer.
[In a voice just touched with feeling] Good-night, sir.
BUILDER. [Without turning his head] Good-night.
TOPPING has gone. BUILDER sits drawing at his pipe between the firelight and the light from the standard lamp. He takes the pipe out of his mouth and a quiver passes over his face. With a half angry gesture he rubs the back of his hand across his eyes.
BUILDER. [To himself] Pluck! Pluck! [His lips quiver again. He presses them hard together, puts his pipe back into his mouth, and, taking the Will, thrusts it into the newly-lighted fire and holds it there with a poker.]
While he is doing this the door from the hall is opened quietly, and MRS BUILDER enters without his hearing her. She has a work bag in her hand. She moves slowly to the table, and stands looking at him. Then going up to the curtains she mechanically adjusts them, and still keeping her eyes on BUILDER, comes down to the table and pours out his usual glass of whisky toddy. BUILDER, who has become conscious of her presence, turns in his chair as she hands it to him. He sits a moment motionless, then takes it from her, and squeezes her hand. MRS BUILDER goes silently to her usual chair below the fire, and taking out some knitting begins to knit. BUILDER makes an effort to speak, does not succeed, and sits drawing at his pipe.
The CURTAIN falls.
LOYALTIES
From the 5th Series Plays
By John Galsworthy
Persons of the Play
In the Order of Appearance
CHARLES WINSOR.................. Owner of Meldon Court, near Newmarket LADY ADELA...................... His Wife FERDINAND DE LEVIS.............. Young, rich, and new TREISURE........................ Winsor's Butler GENERAL CANYNGE................. A Racing Oracle MARGARET ORME................... A Society Girl CAPTAIN RONALD DANDY, D.S.O..... Retired MABEL........................... His Wife INSPECTOR DEDE.................. Of the County Constabulary ROBERT.......................... Winsor's Footman A CONSTABLE..................... Attendant on Dede AUGUSTUS BOBBING................ A Clubman LORD ST ERTH.................... A Peer of the Realm A FOOTMAN....................... Of the Club MAJOR COLFORD................... A Brother Officer of Dancy's EDWARD GRAVITER................. A Solicitor A YOUNG CLERK................... Of Twisden & Graviter's GILMAN.......................... A Large Grocer JACOB TWISDEN................... Senior Partner of Twisden & Graviter RICARDOS........................ An Italian, in Wine
ACT I. SCENE I. CHARLES WINSOR's dressing-room at Meldon Court, near Newmarket, of a night in early October. SCENE II. DE LEVIS'S Bedroom at Meldon Court, a few minutes later.
ACT II. SCENE I. The Card Room of a London Club between four and five in the afternoon, three weeks later. SCENE II. The Sitting-room of the DANCYS' Flat, the following morning.
ACT III. SCENE I. OLD MR JACOB TWISDEN'S Room at TWISDEN & GRAVITER'S in Lincoln's Inn Fields, at four in the afternoon, three months later. SCENE II. The same, next morning at half-past ten. SCENE III. The Sitting-room of the DANCYS' Flat, an hour later.
Act I, Scene I
The dressing-room of CHARLES WINSOR, owner of Meldon Court, near Newmarket; about eleven-thirty at night. The room has pale grey walls, unadorned; the curtains are drawn over a window Back Left Centre. A bed lies along the wall, Left. An open door, Right Back, leads into LADY ADELA's bedroom; a door, Right Forward, into a long corridor, on to which abut rooms in a row, the whole length of the house's left wing. WINSOR's dressing-table, with a light over it, is Stage Right of the curtained window. Pyjamas are laid out on the bed, which is turned back. Slippers are handy, and all the usual gear of a well-appointed bed-dressing-room. CHARLES WINSOR, a tall, fair, good-looking man about thirty-eight, is taking off a smoking jacket.
WINSOR. Hallo! Adela!
V. OF LADY A. [From her bedroom] Hallo!
WINSOR. In bed?
V. OF LADY A. No.
She appears in the doorway in under-garment and a wrapper. She, too, is fair, about thirty-five, rather delicious, and suggestive of porcelain.
WINSOR. Win at Bridge?
LADY A. No fear.
WINSOR. Who did?
LADY A. Lord St Erth and Ferdy De Levis.
WINSOR. That young man has too much luck--the young bounder won two races to-day; and he's as rich as Croesus.
LADY A. Oh! Charlie, he did look so exactly as if he'd sold me a carpet when I was paying him.
WINSOR. [Changing into slippers] His father did sell carpets, wholesale, in the City.
LADY A. Really? And you say I haven't intuition! [With a finger on her lips] Morison's in there.
WINSOR. [Motioning towards the door, which she shuts] Ronny Dancy took a tenner off him, anyway, before dinner.
LADY A. No! How?
WINSOR. Standing jump on to a bookcase four feet high. De Levis had to pay up, and sneered at him for making money by parlour tricks. That young Jew gets himself disliked.
LADY A. Aren't you rather prejudiced?
WINSOR. Not a bit. I like Jews. That's not against him--rather the contrary these days. But he pushes himself. The General tells me he's deathly keen to get into the Jockey Club. [Taking off his tie] It's amusing to see him trying to get round old St Erth.
LADY A. If Lord St Erth and General Canynge backed him he'd get in if he did sell carpets!
WINSOR. He's got some pretty good horses. [Taking off his waistcoat] Ronny Dancy's on his bones again, I'm afraid. He had a bad day. When a chap takes to doing parlour stunts for a bet--it's a sure sign. What made him chuck the Army?
LADY A. He says it's too dull, now there's no fighting.
WINSOR. Well, he can't exist on backing losers.
LADY A. Isn't it just like him to get married now? He really is the most reckless person.
WINSOR. Yes. He's a queer chap. I've always liked him, but I've never quite made him out. What do you think of his wife?
LADY A. Nice child; awfully gone on him.
WINSOR. Is he?
LADY A. Quite indecently--both of them. [Nodding towards the wall, Left] They're next door.
WINSOR. Who's beyond them?
LADY A. De Levis; and Margaret Orme at the end. Charlie, do you realise that the bathroom out there has to wash those four?
WINSOR. I know.
LADY A. Your grandfather was crazy when he built this wing; six rooms in a row with balconies like an hotel, and only one bath--if we hadn't put ours in.
WINSOR. [Looking at his watch] Half-past eleven. [Yawns] Newmarket always makes me sleepy. You're keeping Morison up.
LADY ADELA goes to the door, blowing a kiss. CHARLES goes up to his dressing-table and begins to brush his hair, sprinkling on essence. There is a knock on the corridor door.
Come in.
DE LEVIS enters, clad in pyjamas and flowered dressing-gown. He is a dark, good-looking, rather Eastern young man. His face is long and disturbed.
Hallo! De Levis! Anything I can do for you?
DE LEVIS. [In a voice whose faint exoticism is broken by a vexed excitement] I say, I'm awfully sorry, Winsor, but I thought I'd better tell you at once. I've just had--er--rather a lot of money stolen.
WINSOR. What! [There is something of outrage in his tone and glance, as who should say: "In my house?"] How do you mean stolen?
DE LEVIS. I put it under my pillow and went to have a bath; when I came back it was gone.
WINSOR. Good Lord! How much?
DE LEVIS. Nearly a thousand-nine hundred and seventy, I think.
WINSOR. Phew! [Again the faint tone of outrage, that a man should have so much money about him].
DE LEVIS. I sold my Rosemary filly to-day on the course to Bentman the bookie, and he paid me in notes.
WINSOR. What? That weed Dancy gave you in the Spring?
DE LEVIS. Yes. But I tried her pretty high the other day; and she's in the Cambridgeshire. I was only out of my room a quarter of an hour, and I locked my door.
WINSOR. [Again outraged] You locked--
DE LEVIS. [Not seeing the fine shade] Yes, and had the key here. [He taps his pocket] Look here! [He holds out a pocket-book] It's been stuffed with my shaving papers.
WINSOR. [Between feeling that such things don't happen, and a sense that he will have to clear it up] This is damned awkward, De Levis.
DE LEVIS. [With steel in his voice] Yes. I should like it back.
WINSOR. Have you got the numbers of the notes?
DE LEVIS. No.
WINSOR. What were they?
DE LEVIS. One hundred, three fifties, and the rest tens and fives.
WINSOR. What d'you want me to do?
DE LEVIS. Unless there's anybody you think--
WINSOR. [Eyeing him] Is it likely?
DE Levis. Then I think the police ought to see my room. It's a lot of money.
WINSOR. Good Lord! We're not in Town; there'll be nobody nearer than Newmarket at this time of night--four miles.
The door from the bedroom is suddenly opened and LADY ADELA appears. She has on a lace cap over her finished hair, and the wrapper.
LADY A. [Closing the door] What is it? Are you ill, Mr De Levis?
WINSOR. Worse; he's had a lot of money stolen. Nearly a thousand pounds.
LADY A. Gracious! Where?
DE LEVIS. From under my pillow, Lady Adela--my door was locked--I was in the bath-room.
LADY A. But how fearfully thrilling!
WINSOR. Thrilling! What's to be done? He wants it back.
LADY A. Of course! [With sudden realisation] Oh! But Oh! it's quite too unpleasant!
WINSOR. Yes! What am I to do? Fetch the servants out of their rooms? Search the grounds? It'll make the devil of a scandal.
DE LEVIS. Who's next to me?
LADY A. [Coldly] Oh! Mr De Levis!
WINSOR. Next to you? The Dancys on this side, and Miss Orme on the other. What's that to do with it?
DE LEVIS. They may have heard something.
WINSOR. Let's get them. But Dancy was down stairs when I came up. Get Morison, Adela! No. Look here! When was this exactly? Let's have as many alibis as we can.
DE LEVIS. Within the last twenty minutes, certainly.
WINSOR. How long has Morison been up with you?
LADY A. I came up at eleven, and rang for her at once.
WINSOR. [Looking at his watch] Half an hour. Then she's all right. Send her for Margaret and the Dancys--there's nobody else in this wing. No; send her to bed. We don't want gossip. D'you mind going yourself, Adela?
LADY A. Consult General Canynge, Charlie.
WINSOR. Right. Could you get him too? D'you really want the police, De Levis?
DE LEVIS. [Stung by the faint contempt in his tone of voice] Yes, I do.
WINSOR. Then, look here, dear! Slip into my study and telephone to the police at Newmarket. There'll be somebody there; they're sure to have drunks. I'll have Treisure up, and speak to him. [He rings the bell].
LADY ADELA goes out into her room and closes the door.
WINSOR. Look here, De Levis! This isn't an hotel. It's the sort of thing that doesn't happen in a decent house. Are you sure you're not mistaken, and didn't have them stolen on the course?
DE LEVIS. Absolutely. I counted them just before putting them under my pillow; then I locked the door and had the key here. There's only one door, you know.
WINSOR. How was your window?
DE LEVIS. Open.
WINSOR. [Drawing back the curtains of his own window] You've got a balcony like this. Any sign of a ladder or anything?
DE LEVIS. No.
WINSOR. It must have been done from the window, unless someone had a skeleton key. Who knew you'd got that money? Where did Kentman pay you?
DE LEVIS. Just round the corner in the further paddock.
WINSOR. Anybody about?
DE LEVIS. Oh, yes!
WINSOR. Suspicious?
DE LEVIS. I didn't notice anything.
WINSOR. You must have been marked down and followed here.
DE LEVIS. How would they know my room?
WINSOR. Might have got it somehow. [A knock from the corridor] Come in.
TREISURE, the Butler, appears, a silent, grave man of almost supernatural conformity. DE LEVIS gives him a quick, hard look, noted and resented by WINSOR.
TREISURE. [To WINSOR] Yes, sir?
WINSOR. Who valets Mr De Levis?
TREISURE. Robert, Sir.
WINSOR. When was he up last?
TREISURE. In the ordinary course of things, about ten o'clock, sir.
WINSOR. When did he go to bed?
TREISURE. I dismissed at eleven.
WINSOR. But did he go?
TREISURE. To the best of my knowledge. Is there anything I can do, sir?
WINSOR. [Disregarding a sign from DE LEVIS] Look here, Treisure, Mr De Levis has had a large sum of money taken from his bedroom within the last half hour.
TREISURE. Indeed, Sir!
WINSOR. Robert's quite all right, isn't he?
TREISURE. He is, sir.
DE LEVIS. How do you know?
TREISURE's eyes rest on DE LEVIS.
TREISURE. I am a pretty good judge of character, sir, if you'll excuse me.
WINSOR. Look here, De Levis, eighty or ninety notes must have been pretty bulky. You didn't have them on you at dinner?
DE LEVIS. No.
WINSOR. Where did you put them?
DE LEVIS. In a boot, and the boot in my suitcase, and locked it.
TREISURE smiles faintly.
WINSOR. [Again slightly outraged by such precautions in his house] And you found it locked--and took them from there to put under your pillow?
DE LEVIS. Yes.
WINSOR. Run your mind over things, Treisure--has any stranger been about?
TREISURE. No, Sir.
WINSOR. This seems to have happened between 11.15 and 11.30. Is that right? [DE LEVIS nods] Any noise-anything outside-anything suspicious anywhere?
TREISURE. [Running his mind--very still] No, sir.
WINSOR. What time did you shut up?
TREISURE. I should say about eleven-fifteen, sir. As soon as Major Colford and Captain Dancy had finished billiards. What was Mr De Levis doing out of his room, if I may ask, sir?
WINSOR. Having a bath; with his room locked and the key in his pocket.
TREISURE. Thank you, sir.
DE LEVIS. [Conscious of indefinable suspicion] Damn it! What do you mean? I WAS!
TREISURE. I beg your pardon, sir.
WINSOR. [Concealing a smile] Look here, Treisure, it's infernally awkward for everybody.
TREISURE. It is, sir.
WINSOR. What do you suggest?
TREISURE. The proper thing, sir, I suppose, would be a cordon and a complete search--in our interests.
WINSOR. I entirely refuse to suspect anybody.
TREISURE. But if Mr De Levis feels otherwise, sir?
DE LEVIS. [Stammering] I? All I know is--the money was there, and it's gone.
WINSOR. [Compunctious] Quite! It's pretty sickening for you. But so it is for anybody else. However, we must do our best to get it back for you.
A knock on the door.
WINSOR. Hallo!
TREISURE opens the door, and GENERAL. CANYNGE enters.
Oh! It's you, General. Come in. Adela's told you?
GENERAL CANYNGE nods. He is a slim man of about sixty, very well preserved, intensely neat and self-contained, and still in evening dress. His eyelids droop slightly, but his eyes are keen and his expression astute.
WINSOR. Well, General, what's the first move?
CANYNGE. [Lifting his eyebrows] Mr De Levis presses the matter?
DE Levis. [Flicked again] Unless you think it's too plebeian of me, General Canynge--a thousand pounds.
CANYNGE. [Drily] Just so! Then we must wait for the police, WINSOR. Lady Adela has got through to them. What height are these rooms from the ground, Treisure?
TREISURE. Twenty-three feet from the terrace, sir.
CANYNGE. Any ladders near?
TREISURE. One in the stables, Sir, very heavy. No others within three hundred yards.
CANYNGE. Just slip down, and see whether that's been moved.
TREISURE. Very good, General. [He goes out.]
DE LEVIS. [Uneasily] Of course, he--I suppose you--
WINSOR. We do.
CANYNGE. You had better leave this in our hands, De Levis.
DE LEVIS. Certainly; only, the way he--
WINSOR. [Curtly] Treisure has been here since he was a boy. I should as soon suspect myself.
DE LEVIS. [Looking from one to the other--with sudden anger] You seem to think--! What was I to do? Take it lying down and let whoever it is get clear off? I suppose it's natural to want my money back?
CANYNGE looks at his nails; WINSOR out of the window.
WINSOR. [Turning] Of course, De Levis!
DE LEVIS. [Sullenly] Well, I'll go to my room. When the police come, perhaps you'll let me know. He goes out.
WINSOR. Phew! Did you ever see such a dressing-gown?
The door is opened. LADY ADELA and MARGARET ORME come in. The latter is a vivid young lady of about twenty-five in a vivid wrapper; she is smoking a cigarette.
LADY A. I've told the Dancys--she was in bed. And I got through to Newmarket, Charles, and Inspector Dede is coming like the wind on a motor cycle.
MARGARET. Did he say "like the wind," Adela? He must have imagination. Isn't this gorgeous? Poor little Ferdy!
WINSOR. [Vexed] You might take it seriously, Margaret; it's pretty beastly for us all. What time did you come up?
MARGARET. I came up with Adela. Am I suspected, Charles? How thrilling!
WINSOR. Did you hear anything?
MARGARET. Only little Ferdy splashing.
WINSOR. And saw nothing?
MARGARET. Not even that, alas!
LADY A. [With a finger held up] Leste! Un peu leste! Oh! Here are the Dancys. Come in, you two!
MABEL and RONALD DANCY enter. She is a pretty young woman with bobbed hair, fortunately, for she has just got out of bed, and is in her nightgown and a wrapper. DANCY is in his smoking jacket. He has a pale, determined face with high cheekbones, small, deep-set dark eyes, reddish crisp hair, and looks like a horseman.
WINSOR. Awfully sorry to disturb you, Mrs Dancy; but I suppose you and Ronny haven't heard anything. De Levis's room is just beyond Ronny's dressing-room, you know.
MABEL. I've been asleep nearly half an hour, and Ronny's only just come up.
CANYNGE. Did you happen to look out of your window, Mrs Dancy?
MABEL. Yes. I stood there quite five minutes.
CANYNGE. When?
MABEL. Just about eleven, I should think. It was raining hard then.
CANYNGE. Yes, it's just stopped. You saw nothing?
MABEL. No.
DANCY. What time does he say the money was taken?
WINSOR. Between the quarter and half past. He'd locked his door and had the key with him.
MARGARET. How quaint! Just like an hotel. Does he put his boots out?
LADY A. Don't be so naughty, Meg.
CANYNGE. When exactly did you come up, Dance?
DANCY. About ten minutes ago. I'd only just got into my dressing-room before Lady Adela came. I've been writing letters in the hall since Colford and I finished billiards.
CANYNGE. You weren't up for anything in between?
DANCY. No.
MARGARET. The mystery of the grey room.
DANCY. Oughtn't the grounds to be searched for footmarks?
CANYNGE. That's for the police.
DANCY. The deuce! Are they coming?
CANYNGE. Directly. [A knock] Yes?
TREISURE enters.
Well?
TREISURE. The ladder has not been moved, General. There isn't a sign.
WINSOR. All right. Get Robert up, but don't say anything to him. By the way, we're expecting the police.
TREISURE. I trust they will not find a mare's nest, sir, if I may say so.
He goes.
WINSOR. De Levis has got wrong with Treisure. [Suddenly] But, I say, what would any of us have done if we'd been in his shoes?
MARGARET. A thousand pounds? I can't even conceive having it.
DANCY. We probably shouldn't have found it out.
LADY A. No--but if we had.
DANCY. Come to you--as he did.
WINSOR. Yes; but there's a way of doing things.
CANYNGE. We shouldn't have wanted the police.
MARGARET. No. That's it. The hotel touch.
LADY A. Poor young man; I think we're rather hard on him.
WINSOR. He sold that weed you gave him, Dancy, to Kentman, the bookie, and these were the proceeds.
DANCY. Oh!
WINSOR. He'd tried her high, he said.
DANCY. [Grimly] He would.
MABEL. Oh! Ronny, what bad luck!
WINSOR. He must have been followed here. [At the window] After rain like that, there ought to be footmarks.
The splutter of a motor cycle is heard.
MARGARET. Here's the wind!
WINSOR. What's the move now, General?
CANYNGE. You and I had better see the Inspector in De Levis's room, WINSOR. [To the others] If you'll all be handy, in case he wants to put questions for himself.
MARGARET. I hope he'll want me; it's just too thrilling.
DANCY. I hope he won't want me; I'm dog-tired. Come on, Mabel. [He puts his arm in his wife's].
CANYNGE. Just a minute, Charles.
He draws dose to WINSOR as the others are departing to their rooms.
WINSOR. Yes, General?
CANYNGE. We must be careful with this Inspector fellow. If he pitches hastily on somebody in the house it'll be very disagreeable.
WINSOR. By Jove! It will.
CANYNGE. We don't want to rouse any ridiculous suspicion.
WINSOR. Quite. [A knock] Come in!
TREISURE enters.
TREISURE. Inspector Dede, Sir.
WINSOR. Show him in.
TREISURE. Robert is in readiness, sir; but I could swear he knows nothing about it.
WINSOR. All right.
TREISURE re-opens the door, and says "Come in, please." The INSPECTOR enters, blue, formal, moustachioed, with a peaked cap in his hand.
WINSOR. Good evening, Inspector. Sorry to have brought you out at this time of night.
INSPECTOR. Good evenin', sir. Mr WINSOR? You're the owner here, I think?
WINSOR. Yes. General Canynge.
INSPECTOR. Good evenin', General. I understand, a large sum of money?
WINSOR. Yes. Shall we go straight to the room it was taken from? One of my guests, Mr De Levis. It's the third room on the left.
CANYNGE. We've not been in there yet, Inspector; in fact, we've done nothing, except to find out that the stable ladder has not been moved. We haven't even searched the grounds.
INSPECTOR. Right, sir; I've brought a man with me.
They go out.
CURTAIN. And interval of a Minute.
Act I, Scene II
[The same set is used for this Scene, with the different arrangement of furniture, as specified.]
The bedroom of DE LEVIS is the same in shape as WINSOR'S dressing-room, except that there is only one door--to the corridor. The furniture, however, is differently arranged; a small four-poster bedstead stands against the wall, Right Back, jutting into the room. A chair, on which DE LEVIS's clothes are thrown, stands at its foot. There is a dressing-table against the wall to the left of the open windows, where the curtains are drawn back and a stone balcony is seen. Against the wall to the right of the window is a chest of drawers, and a washstand is against the wall, Left. On a small table to the right of the bed an electric reading lamp is turned up, and there is a light over the dressing-table. The INSPECTOR is standing plumb centre looking at the bed, and DE LEVIS by the back of the chair at the foot of the bed. WINSOR and CANYNGE are close to the door, Right Forward.
INSPECTOR. [Finishing a note] Now, sir, if this is the room as you left it for your bath, just show us exactly what you did after takin' the pocket-book from the suit case. Where was that, by the way?
DE LEVIS. [Pointing] Where it is now--under the dressing-table.
He comes forward to the front of the chair, opens the pocket-book, goes through the pretence of counting his shaving papers, closes the pocket-book, takes it to the head of the bed and slips it under the pillow. Makes the motion of taking up his pyjamas, crosses below the INSPECTOR to the washstand, takes up a bath sponge, crosses to the door, takes out the key, opens the door.
INSPECTOR. [Writing]. We now have the room as it was when the theft was committed. Reconstruct accordin' to 'uman nature, gentlemen--assumin' the thief to be in the room, what would he try first?--the clothes, the dressin'-table, the suit case, the chest of drawers, and last the bed.
He moves accordingly, examining the glass on the dressing-table, the surface of the suit cases, and the handles of the drawers, with a spy-glass, for finger-marks.
CANYNGE. [Sotto voce to WINSOR] The order would have been just the other way.
The INSPECTOR goes on hands and knees and examines the carpet between the window and the bed.
DE LEVIS. Can I come in again?
INSPECTOR. [Standing up] Did you open the window, sir, or was it open when you first came in?
DE LEVIS. I opened it.
INSPECTOR. Drawin' the curtains back first?
DE LEVIS. Yes.
INSPECTOR. [Sharply] Are you sure there was nobody in the room already?
DE LEVIS. [Taken aback] I don't know. I never thought. I didn't look under the bed, if you mean that.
INSPECTOR. [Jotting] Did not look under bed. Did you look under it after the theft?
DE LEVIS. No. I didn't.
INSPECTOR. Ah! Now, what did you do after you came back from your bath? Just give us that precisely.
DE LEVIS. Locked the door and left the key in. Put back my sponge, and took off my dressing-gown and put it there. [He points to the footrails of the bed] Then I drew the curtains, again.
INSPECTOR. Shutting the window?
DE LEVIS. No. I got into bed, felt for my watch to see the time. My hand struck the pocket-book, and somehow it felt thinner. I took it out, looked into it, and found the notes gone, and these shaving papers instead.
INSPECTOR. Let me have a look at those, sir. [He applies the spy-glasses] And then?
DE LEVIS. I think I just sat on the bed.
INSPECTOR. Thinkin' and cursin' a bit, I suppose. Ye-es?
DE LEVIS. Then I put on my dressing-gown and went straight to Mr WINSOR.
INSPECTOR. Not lockin' the door?
DE LEVIS. No.
INSPECTOR. Exactly. [With a certain finality] Now, sir, what time did you come up?
DE LEVIS. About eleven.
INSPECTOR. Precise, if you can give it me.
DE LEVIS. Well, I know it was eleven-fifteen when I put my watch under my pillow, before I went to the bath, and I suppose I'd been about a quarter of an hour undressing. I should say after eleven, if anything.
INSPECTOR. Just undressin'? Didn't look over your bettin' book?
DE LEVIS. No.
INSPECTOR. No prayers or anything?
DE LEVIS. No.
INSPECTOR. Pretty slippy with your undressin' as a rule?
DE LEVIS. Yes. Say five past eleven.
INSPECTOR. Mr WINSOR, what time did the gentleman come to you?
WINSOR. Half-past eleven.
INSPECTOR. How do you fix that, sir?
WINSOR. I'd just looked at the time, and told my wife to send her maid off.
INSPECTOR. Then we've got it fixed between 11.15 and 11.30. [Jots] Now, sir, before we go further I'd like to see your butler and the footman that valets this gentleman.
WINSOR. [With distaste] Very well, Inspector; only--my butler has been with us from a boy.
INSPECTOR. Quite so. This is just clearing the ground, sir.
WINSOR. General, d'you mind touching that bell?
CANYNGE rings a bell by the bed.
INSPECTOR. Well, gentlemen, there are four possibilities. Either the thief was here all the time, waiting under the bed, and slipped out after this gentleman had gone to Mr WINSOR. Or he came in with a key that fits the lock; and I'll want to see all the keys in the house. Or he came in with a skeleton key and out by the window, probably droppin' from the balcony. Or he came in by the window with a rope or ladder and out the same way. [Pointing] There's a footmark here from a big boot which has been out of doors since it rained.
CANYNGE. Inspector--you er--walked up to the window when you first came into the room.
INSPECTOR. [Stiffly] I had not overlooked that, General.
CANYNGE. Of course.
A knock on the door relieves a certain tension,
WINSOR. Come in.
The footman ROBERT, a fresh-faced young man, enters, followed by TREISURE.
INSPECTOR. You valet Mr--Mr De Levis, I think?
ROBERT. Yes, sir.
INSPECTOR. At what time did you take his clothes and boots?
ROBERT. Ten o'clock, sir.
INSPECTOR. [With a pounce] Did you happen to look under his bed?
ROBERT. No, sir.
INSPECTOR. Did you come up again, to bring the clothes back?
ROBERT. No, sir; they're still downstairs.
INSPECTOR. Did you come up again for anything?
ROBERT. No, Sir.
INSPECTOR. What time did you go to bed?
ROBERT. Just after eleven, Sir.
INSPECTOR. [Scrutinising him] Now, be careful. Did you go to bed at all?
ROBERT. No, Sir.
INSPECTOR. Then why did you say you did? There's been a theft here, and anything you say may be used against you.
ROBERT. Yes, Sir. I meant, I went to my room.
INSPECTOR. Where is your room?
ROBERT. On the ground floor, at the other end of the right wing, sir.
WINSOR. It's the extreme end of the house from this, Inspector. He's with the other two footmen.
INSPECTOR. Were you there alone?
ROBERT. No, Sir. Thomas and Frederick was there too.
TREISURE. That's right; I've seen them.
INSPECTOR. [Holding up his hand for silence] Were you out of the room again after you went in?
ROBERT. No, Sir.
INSPECTOR. What were you doing, if you didn't go to bed?
ROBERT. [To WINSOR] Beggin' your pardon, Sir, we were playin' Bridge.
INSPECTOR. Very good. You can go. I'll see them later on.
ROBERT. Yes, Sir. They'll say the same as me. He goes out, leaving a smile on the face of all except the INSPECTOR and DE LEVIS.
INSPECTOR. [Sharply] Call him back.
TREISURE calls "Robert," and the FOOTMAN re-enters.
ROBERT. Yes, Sir?
INSPECTOR. Did you notice anything particular about Mr De Levis's clothes?
ROBERT. Only that they were very good, Sir.
INSPECTOR. I mean--anything peculiar?
ROBERT. [After reflection] Yes, Sir.
INSPECTOR. Well?
ROBERT. A pair of his boots this evenin' was reduced to one, sir.
INSPECTOR. What did you make of that?
ROBERT. I thought he might have thrown the other at a cat or something.
INSPECTOR. Did you look for it?
ROBERT. No, Sir; I meant to draw his attention to it in the morning.
INSPECTOR. Very good.
ROBERT. Yes, Sir. [He goes again.]
INSPECTOR. [Looking at DE LEVIS] Well, sir, there's your story corroborated.
DE LEVIS. [Stifly] I don't know why it should need corroboration, Inspector.
INSPECTOR. In my experience, you can never have too much of that. [To WINSOR] I understand there's a lady in the room on this side [pointing Left] and a gentleman on this [pointing Right] Were they in their rooms?
WINSOR. Miss Orme was; Captain Dancy not.
INSPECTOR. Do they know of the affair?
WINSOR. Yes.
INSPECTOR. Well, I'd just like the keys of their doors for a minute. My man will get them.
He goes to the door, opens it, and speaks to a constable in the corridor.
[To TREISURE] You can go with him.
TREISURE goes Out.
In the meantime I'll just examine the balcony.
He goes out on the balcony, followed by DE LEVIS.
WINSOR. [To CANYNGE] Damn De Levis and his money! It's deuced invidious, all this, General.
CANYNGE. The Inspector's no earthly.
There is a simultaneous re-entry of the INSPECTOR from the balcony and of TREISURE and the CONSTABLE from the corridor.
CONSTABLE. [Handing key] Room on the left, Sir. [Handing key] Room on the right, sir.
The INSPECTOR tries the keys in the door, watched with tension by the others. The keys fail.
INSPECTOR. Put them back.
Hands keys to CONSTABLE, who goes out, followed by TREISURE.
I'll have to try every key in the house, sir.
WINSOR. Inspector, do you really think it necessary to disturb the whole house and knock up all my guests? It's most disagreeable, all this, you know. The loss of the money is not such a great matter. Mr De Levis has a very large income.
CANYNGE. You could get the numbers of the notes from Kentman the bookmaker, Inspector; he'll probably have the big ones, anyway.
INSPECTOR. [Shaking his head] A bookie. I don't suppose he will, sir. It's come and go with them, all the time.
WINSOR. We don't want a Meldon Court scandal, Inspector.
INSPECTOR. Well, Mr WINSOR, I've formed my theory.
As he speaks, DE LEVIS comes in from the balcony.
And I don't say to try the keys is necessary to it; but strictly, I ought to exhaust the possibilities.
WINSOR. What do you say, De Levis? D'you want everybody in the house knocked up so that their keys can be tried?
DE LEVIS. [Whose face, since his return, expresses a curious excitement] No, I don't.
INSPECTOR. Very well, gentlemen. In my opinion the thief walked in before the door was locked, probably during dinner; and was under the bed. He escaped by dropping from the balcony--the creeper at that corner [he points stage Left] has been violently wrenched. I'll go down now, and examine the grounds, and I'll see you again Sir. [He makes another entry in his note-book] Goodnight, then, gentlemen!
CANYNGE. Good-night!
WINSOR. [With relief] I'll come with you, Inspector.
He escorts him to the door, and they go out.
DE LEVIS. [Suddenly] General, I know who took them.
CANYNGE. The deuce you do! Are you following the Inspector's theory?
DE LEVIS. [Contemptuously] That ass! [Pulling the shaving papers out of the case] No! The man who put those there was clever and cool enough to wrench that creeper off the balcony, as a blind. Come and look here, General. [He goes to the window; the GENERAL follows. DE LEVIS points stage Right] See the rail of my balcony, and the rail of the next? [He holds up the cord of his dressing-gown, stretching his arms out] I've measured it with this. Just over seven feet, that's all! If a man can take a standing jump on to a narrow bookcase four feet high and balance there, he'd make nothing of that. And, look here! [He goes out on the balcony and returns with a bit of broken creeper in his hand, and holds it out into the light] Someone's stood on that--the stalk's crushed--the inner corner too, where he'd naturally stand when he took his jump back.
CANYNGE. [After examining it--stiffly] That other balcony is young Dancy's, Mr De Levis; a soldier and a gentleman. This is an extraordinary insinuation.
DE LEVIS. Accusation.
CANYNGE. What!
DE LEVIS. I have intuitions, General; it's in my blood. I see the whole thing. Dancy came up, watched me into the bathroom, tried my door, slipped back into his dressing-room, saw my window was open, took that jump, sneaked the notes, filled the case up with these, wrenched the creeper there [He points stage Left] for a blind, jumped back, and slipped downstairs again. It didn't take him four minutes altogether.
CANYNGE. [Very gravely] This is outrageous, De Levis. Dancy says he was downstairs all the time. You must either withdraw unreservedly, or I must confront you with him.
DE LEVIS. If he'll return the notes and apologise, I'll do nothing-- except cut him in future. He gave me that filly, you know, as a hopeless weed, and he's been pretty sick ever since, that he was such a flat as not to see how good she was. Besides, he's hard up, I know.
CANYNGE. [After a vexed turn up and down the room] It's mad, sir, to jump to conclusions like this.
DE LEVIS. Not so mad as the conclusion Dancy jumped to when he lighted on my balcony.
CANYNGE. Nobody could have taken this money who did not know you had it.
DE LEVIS. How do you know that he didn't?
CANYNGE. Do you know that he did?
DE LEVIS. I haven't the least doubt of it.
CANYNGE. Without any proof. This is very ugly, De Levis. I must tell WINSOR.
DE LEVIS. [Angrily] Tell the whole blooming lot. You think I've no feelers, but I've felt the atmosphere here, I can tell you, General. If I were in Dancy's shoes and he in mine, your tone to me would be very different.
CANYNGE. [Suavely frigid] I'm not aware of using any tone, as you call it. But this is a private house, Mr De Levis, and something is due to our host and to the esprit de corps that exists among gentlemen.
DE LEVIS. Since when is a thief a gentleman? Thick as thieves--a good motto, isn't it?
CANYNGE. That's enough! [He goes to the door, but stops before opening it] Now, look here! I have some knowledge of the world. Once an accusation like this passes beyond these walls no one can foresee the consequences. Captain Dancy is a gallant fellow, with a fine record as a soldier; and only just married. If he's as innocent as--Christ--mud will stick to him, unless the real thief is found. In the old days of swords, either you or he would not have gone out of this room alive. It you persist in this absurd accusation, you will both of you go out of this room dead in the eyes of Society: you for bringing it, he for being the object of it.
DE LEVIS. Society! Do you think I don't know that I'm only tolerated for my money? Society can't add injury to insult and have my money as well, that's all. If the notes are restored I'll keep my mouth shut; if they're not, I shan't. I'm certain I'm right. I ask nothing better than to be confronted with Dancy; but, if you prefer it, deal with him in your own way--for the sake of your esprit de corps.
CANYNGE. 'Pon my soul, Mr De Levis, you go too far.
DE LEVIS. Not so far as I shall go, General Canynge, if those notes aren't given back.
WINSOR comes in.
WINSOR. Well, De Levis, I'm afraid that's all we can do for the present. So very sorry this should have happened in my house.
CANYNGE. [Alter a silence] There's a development, WINSOR. Mr De Levis accuses one of your guests.
WINSOR. What?
CANYNGE. Of jumping from his balcony to this, taking the notes, and jumping back. I've done my best to dissuade him from indulging the fancy--without success. Dancy must be told.
DE LEVIS. You can deal with Dancy in your own way. All I want is the money back.
CANYNGE. [Drily] Mr De Levis feels that he is only valued for his money, so that it is essential for him to have it back.
WINSOR. Damn it! This is monstrous, De Levis. I've known Ronald Dancy since he was a boy.
CANYNGE. You talk about adding injury to insult, De Levis. What do you call such treatment of a man who gave you the mare out of which you made this thousand pounds?
DE LEVIS. I didn't want the mare; I took her as a favour.
CANYNGE. With an eye to possibilities, I venture to think--the principle guides a good many transactions.
DE LEVIS. [As if flicked on a raw spot] In my race, do you mean?
CANYNGE. [Coldly] I said nothing of the sort.
DE LEVIS. No; you don't say these things, any of you.
CANYNGE. Nor did I think it.
DE LEVIS. Dancy does.
WINSOR. Really, De Levis, if this is the way you repay hospitality--
DE LEVIS. Hospitality that skins my feelings and costs me a thousand pounds!
CANYNGE. Go and get Dancy, WINSOR; but don't say anything to him.
WINSOR goes out.
CANYNGE. Perhaps you will kindly control yourself, and leave this to me.
DE LEVIS turns to the window and lights a cigarette. WINSOR comes back, followed by DANCY.
CANYNGE. For WINSOR's sake, Dancy, we don't want any scandal or fuss about this affair. We've tried to make the police understand that. To my mind the whole thing turns on our finding who knew that De Levis had this money. It's about that we want to consult you.
WINSOR. Kentman paid De Levis round the corner in the further paddock, he says.
DE LEVIS turns round from the window, so that he and DANCY are staring at each other.
CANYNGE. Did you hear anything that throws light, Dancy? As it was your filly originally, we thought perhaps you might.
DANCY. I? No.
CANYNGE. Didn't hear of the sale on the course at all?
DANCY. No.
CANYNGE. Then you can't suggest any one who could have known? Nothing else was taken, you see.
DANCY. De Levis is known to be rolling, as I am known to be stony.
CANYNGE. There are a good many people still rolling, besides Mr De Levis, but not many people with so large a sum in their pocket-books.
DANCY. He won two races.
DE LEVIS. Do you suggest that I bet in ready money?
DANCY. I don't know how you bet, and I don't care.
CANYNGE. You can't help us, then?
DANCY. No. I can't. Anything else? [He looks fixedly at DE LEVIS].
CANYNGE. [Putting his hand on DANCY's arm] Nothing else, thank you, Dancy.
DANCY goes. CANYNGE puts his hand up to his face. A moment's silence.
WINSOR. You see, De Levis? He didn't even know you'd got the money.
DE LEVIS. Very conclusive.
WINSOR. Well! You are--!
There is a knock on the door, and the INSPECTOR enters.
INSPECTOR. I'm just going, gentlemen. The grounds, I'm sorry to say, have yielded nothing. It's a bit of a puzzle.
CANYNGE. You've searched thoroughly?
INSPECTOR. We have, General. I can pick up nothing near the terrace.
WINSOR. [After a look at DE LEVIS, whose face expresses too much] H'm! You'll take it up from the other end, then, Inspector?
INSPECTOR. Well, we'll see what we can do with the bookmakers about the numbers, sir. Before I go, gentlemen--you've had time to think it over-- there's no one you suspect in the house, I suppose?
DE LEVIS's face is alive and uncertain. CANYNGE is staring at him very fixedly.
WINSOR. [Emphatically] No.
DE LEVIS turns and goes out on to the balcony.
INSPECTOR. If you're coming in to the racing to-morrow, sir, you might give us a call. I'll have seen Kentman by then.
WINSOR. Right you are, Inspector. Good night, and many thanks.
INSPECTOR. You're welcome, sir. [He goes out.]
WINSOR. Gosh! I thought that chap [With a nod towards the balcony] was going to--! Look here, General, we must stop his tongue. Imagine it going the rounds. They may never find the real thief, you know. It's the very devil for Dancy.
CANYNGE. WINSOR! Dancy's sleeve was damp.
WINSOR. How d'you mean?
CANYNGE. Quite damp. It's been raining.
The two look at each other.
WINSOR. I--I don't follow-- [His voice is hesitative and lower, showing that he does].
CANYNGE. It was coming down hard; a minute out in it would have been enough--[He motions with his chin towards the balcony].
WINSOR. [Hastily] He must have been out on his balcony since.
CANYNGE. It stopped before I came up, half an hour ago.
WINSOR. He's been leaning on the wet stone, then.
CANYNGE. With the outside of the upper part of the arm?
WINSOR. Against the wall, perhaps. There may be a dozen explanations. [Very low and with great concentration] I entirely and absolutely refuse to believe anything of the sort against Ronald Dancy in my house. Dash it, General, we must do as we'd be done by. It hits us all--it hits us all. The thing's intolerable.
CANYNGE. I agree. Intolerable. [Raising his voice] Mr De Levis!
DE LEVIS returns into view, in the centre of the open window.
CANYNGE. [With cold decision] Young Dancy was an officer and is a gentleman; this insinuation is pure supposition, and you must not make it. Do you understand me?
DE LEVIS. My tongue is still mine, General, if my money isn't!
CANYNGE. [Unmoved] Must not. You're a member of three Clubs, you want to be member of a fourth. No one who makes such an insinuation against a fellow-guest in a country house, except on absolute proof, can do so without complete ostracism. Have we your word to say nothing?
DE LEVIS. Social blackmail? H'm!
CANYNGE. Not at all--simple warning. If you consider it necessary in your interests to start this scandal-no matter how, we shall consider it necessary in ours to dissociate ourselves completely from one who so recklessly disregards the unwritten code.
DE LEVIS. Do you think your code applies to me? Do you, General?
CANYNGE. To anyone who aspires to be a gentleman, Sir.
DE LEVIS. Ah! But you haven't known me since I was a boy.
CANYNGE. Make up your mind.
A pause.
DE LEVIS. I'm not a fool, General. I know perfectly well that you can get me outed.
CANYNGE. [Icily] Well?
DE LEVIS. [Sullenly] I'll say nothing about it, unless I get more proof.
CANYNGE. Good! We have implicit faith in Dancy.
There is a moment's encounter of eyes; the GENERAL'S steady, shrewd, impassive; WINSOR'S angry and defiant; DE LEVIS's mocking, a little triumphant, malicious. Then CANYNGE and WINSOR go to the door, and pass out.
DE LEVIS. [To himself] Rats!
CURTAIN
Act II, Scene I
Afternoon, three weeks later, in the card room of a London Club. A fire is burning, Left. A door, Right, leads to the billiard-room. Rather Left of Centre, at a card table, LORD ST ERTH, an old John Bull, sits facing the audience; to his right is GENERAL CANYNGE, to his left AUGUSTUS BORRING, an essential Clubman, about thirty-five years old, with a very slight and rather becoming stammer or click in his speech. The fourth Bridge player, CHARLES WINSOR, stands with his back to the fire.
BORRING. And the r-rub.
WINSOR. By George! You do hold cards, Borring.
ST ERTH. [Who has lost] Not a patch on the old whist--this game. Don't know why I play it--never did.
CANYNGE. St Erth, shall we raise the flag for whist again?
WINSOR. No go, General. You can't go back on pace. No getting a man to walk when he knows he can fly. The young men won't look at it.
BORRING. Better develop it so that t-two can sit out, General.
ST ERTH. We ought to have stuck to the old game. Wish I'd gone to Newmarket, Canynge, in spite of the weather.
CANYNGE. [Looking at his watch] Let's hear what's won the Cambridgeshire. Ring, won't you, WINSOR? [WINSOR rings.]
ST ERTH. By the way, Canynge, young De Levis was blackballed.
CANYNGE. What!
ST ERTH. I looked in on my way down.
CANYNGE sits very still, and WINSOR utters a disturbed sound.
BORRING. But of c-course he was, General. What did you expect?
A FOOTMAN enters.
FOOTMAN. Yes, my lord?
ST ERTH. What won the Cambridgeshire?
FOOTMAN. Rosemary, my lord. Sherbet second; Barbizon third. Nine to one the winner.
WINSOR. Thank you. That's all.
FOOTMAN goes.
BORRING. Rosemary! And De Levis sold her! But he got a good p-price, I suppose.
The other three look at him.
ST ERTH. Many a slip between price and pocket, young man.
CANYNGE. Cut! [They cut].
BORRING. I say, is that the yarn that's going round about his having had a lot of m-money stolen in a country house? By Jove! He'll be pretty s-sick.
WINSOR. You and I, Borring.
He sits down in CANYNGE'S chair, and the GENERAL takes his place by the fire.
BORRING. Phew! Won't Dancy be mad! He gave that filly away to save her keep. He was rather pleased to find somebody who'd take her. Bentman must have won a p-pot. She was at thirty-threes a fortnight ago.
ST ERTH. All the money goes to fellows who don't know a horse from a haystack.
CANYNGE. [Profoundly] And care less. Yes! We want men racing to whom a horse means something.
BORRING. I thought the horse m-meant the same to everyone, General-- chance to get the b-better of one's neighbour.
CANYNGE. [With feeling] The horse is a noble animal, sir, as you'd know if you'd owed your life to them as often as I have.
BORRING. They always try to take mine, General. I shall never belong to the noble f-fellowship of the horse.
ST ERTH. [Drily] Evidently. Deal!
As BORRING begins to deal the door is opened and MAJOR COLFORD appears--a lean and moustached cavalryman.
BORRING. Hallo, C-Colford.
COLFORD. General!
Something in the tone of his voice brings them all to a standstill.
COLFORD. I want your advice. Young De Levis in there [He points to the billiard-room from which he has just come] has started a blasphemous story--
CANYNGE. One moment. Mr Borring, d'you mind--
COLFORD. It makes no odds, General. Four of us in there heard him. He's saying it was Ronald Dancy robbed him down at WINSOR's. The fellow's mad over losing the price of that filly now she's won the Cambridgeshire.
BORRING. [All ears] Dancy! Great S-Scott!
COLFORD. Dancy's in the Club. If he hadn't been I'd have taken it on myself to wring the bounder's neck.
WINSOR and BORRING have risen. ST ERTH alone remains seated.
CANYNGE. [After consulting ST ERTH with a look] Ask De Levis to be good enough to come in here. Borring, you might see that Dancy doesn't leave the Club. We shall want him. Don't say anything to him, and use your tact to keep people off.
BORRING goes out, followed by COLFORD. WINSOR. Result of hearing he was black-balled--pretty slippy.
CANYNGE. St Erth, I told you there was good reason when I asked you to back young De Levis. WINSOR and I knew of this insinuation; I wanted to keep his tongue quiet. It's just wild assertion; to have it bandied about was unfair to Dancy. The duel used to keep people's tongues in order.
ST ERTH. H'm! It never settled anything, except who could shoot straightest.
COLFORD. [Re-appearing] De Levis says he's nothing to add to what he said to you before, on the subject.
CANYNGE. Kindly tell him that if he wishes to remain a member of this Club he must account to the Committee for such a charge against a fellow-member. Four of us are here, and form a quorum.
COLFORD goes out again.
ST ERTH. Did Kentman ever give the police the numbers of those notes, WINSOR?
WINSOR. He only had the numbers of two--the hundred, and one of the fifties.
ST ERTH. And they haven't traced 'em?
WINSOR. Not yet.
As he speaks, DE LEVIS comes in. He is in a highly-coloured, not to say excited state. COLFORD follows him.
DE LEVIS. Well, General Canynge! It's a little too strong all this-- a little too strong. [Under emotion his voice is slightly more exotic].
CANYNGE. [Calmly] It is obvious, Mr De Levis, that you and Captain Dancy can't both remain members of this Club. We ask you for an explanation before requesting one resignation or the other.
DE LEVIS. You've let me down.
CANYNGE. What!
DE LEVIS. Well, I shall tell people that you and Lord St Erth backed me up for one Club, and asked me to resign from another.
CANYNGE. It's a matter of indifference to me, sir, what you tell people.
ST ERTH. [Drily] You seem a venomous young man.
DE LEVIS. I'll tell you what seems to me venomous, my lord--chasing a man like a pack of hounds because he isn't your breed.
CANYNGE. You appear to have your breed on the brain, sir. Nobody else does, so far as I know.
DE LEVIS. Suppose I had robbed Dancy, would you chase him out for complaining of it?
COLFORD. My God! If you repeat that--
CANYNGE. Steady, Colford!
WINSOR. You make this accusation that Dancy stole your money in my house on no proof--no proof; and you expect Dancy's friends to treat you as if you were a gentleman! That's too strong, if you like!
DE LEVIS. No proof? Bentman told me at Newmarket yesterday that Dancy did know of the sale. He told Goole, and Goole says that he himself spoke of it to Dancy.
WINSOR. Well--if he did?
DE LEVIS. Dancy told you he didn't know of it in General Canynge's presence, and mine. [To CANYNGE] You can't deny that, if you want to.
CANYNGE. Choose your expressions more nicely, please!
DE LEVIS. Proof! Did they find any footmarks in the grounds below that torn creeper? Not a sign! You saw how he can jump; he won ten pounds from me that same evening betting on what he knew was a certainty. That's your Dancy--a common sharper!
CANYNGE. [Nodding towards the billiard-room] Are those fellows still in there, Colford?
COLFORD. Yes.
CANYNGE. Then bring Dancy up, will you? But don't say anything to him.
COLFORD. [To DE LEVIS] You may think yourself damned lucky if he doesn't break your neck.
He goes out. The three who are left with DE LEVIS avert their eyes from him.
DE LEVIS. [Smouldering] I have a memory, and a sting too. Yes, my lord--since you are good enough to call me venomous. [To CANYNGE] I quite understand--I'm marked for Coventry now, whatever happens. Well, I'll take Dancy with me.
ST ERTH. [To himself] This Club has always had a decent, quiet name.
WINSOR. Are you going to retract, and apologise in front of Dancy and the members who heard you?
DE LEVIS. No fear!
ST ERTH. You must be a very rich man, sir. A jury is likely to take the view that money can hardly compensate for an accusation of that sort.
DE LEVIS stands silent. CANYNGE. Courts of law require proof.
ST ERTH. He can make it a criminal action.
WINSOR. Unless you stop this at once, you may find yourself in prison. If you can stop it, that is.
ST ERTH. If I were young Dancy, nothing should induce me.
DE LEVIS. But you didn't steal my money, Lord St Erth.
ST ERTH. You're deuced positive, sir. So far as I could understand it, there were a dozen ways you could have been robbed. It seems to me you value other men's reputations very lightly.
DE LEVIS. Confront me with Dancy and give me fair play.
WINSOR. [Aside to CANYNGE] Is it fair to Dancy not to let him know?
CANYNGE. Our duty is to the Club now, WINSOR. We must have this cleared up.
COLFORD comes in, followed by BORRING and DANCY.
ST ERTH. Captain Dancy, a serious accusation has been made against you by this gentleman in the presence of several members of the Club.
DANCY. What is it?
ST ERTH. That you robbed him of that money at WINSOR's.
DANCY. [Hard and tense] Indeed! On what grounds is he good enough to say that?
DE LEVIS. [Tense too] You gave me that filly to save yourself her keep, and you've been mad about it ever since; you knew from Goole that I had sold her to Kentman and been paid in cash, yet I heard you myself deny that you knew it. You had the next room to me, and you can jump like a cat, as we saw that evening; I found some creepers crushed by a weight on my balcony on that side. When I went to the bath your door was open, and when I came back it was shut.
CANYNGE. That's the first we have heard about the door.
DE LEVIS. I remembered it afterwards.
ST ERTH. Well, Dancy?
DANCY. [With intense deliberation] I'll settle this matter with any weapons, when and where he likes.
ST ERTH. [Drily] It can't be settled that way--you know very well. You must take it to the Courts, unless he retracts.
DANCY. Will you retract?
DE LEVIS. Why did you tell General Canynge you didn't know Kentman had paid me in cash?
DANCY. Because I didn't.
DE LEVIS. Then Kentman and Goole lied--for no reason?
DANCY. That's nothing to do with me.
DE LEVIS. If you were downstairs all the time, as you say, why was your door first open and then shut?
DANCY. Being downstairs, how should I know? The wind, probably.
DE LEVIS. I should like to hear what your wife says about it.
DANCY. Leave my wife alone, you damned Jew!
ST ERTH. Captain Dancy!
DE LEVIS. [White with rage] Thief!
DANCY. Will you fight?
DE LEVIS. You're very smart-dead men tell no tales. No! Bring your action, and we shall see.
DANCY takes a step towards him, but CANYNGE and WINSOR interpose.
ST ERTH. That'll do, Mr De Levis; we won't keep you. [He looks round] Kindly consider your membership suspended till this matter has been threshed out.
DE LEVIS. [Tremulous with anger] Don't trouble yourselves about my membership. I resign it. [To DANCY] You called me a damned Jew. My race was old when you were all savages. I am proud to be a Jew. Au revoir, in the Courts.
He goes out, and silence follows his departure.
ST ERTH. Well, Captain Dancy?
DANCY. If the brute won't fight, what am I to do, sir?
ST ERTH. We've told you--take action, to clear your name.
DANCY. Colford, you saw me in the hall writing letters after our game.
COLFORD. Certainly I did; you were there when I went to the smoking-room.
CANYNGE. How long after you left the billiard-room?
COLFORD. About five minutes.
DANCY. It's impossible for me to prove that I was there all the time.
CANYNGE. It's for De Levis to prove what he asserts. You heard what he said about Goole?
DANCY. If he told me, I didn't take it in.
ST ERTH. This concerns the honour of the Club. Are you going to take action?
DANCY. [Slowly] That is a very expensive business, Lord St Erth, and I'm hard up. I must think it over. [He looks round from face to face] Am I to take it that there is a doubt in your minds, gentlemen?
COLFORD. [Emphatically] No.
CANYNGE. That's not the question, Dancy. This accusation was overheard by various members, and we represent the Club. If you don't take action, judgment will naturally go by default.
DANCY. I might prefer to look on the whole thing as beneath contempt.
He turns and goes out. When he is gone there is an even longer silence than after DE LEVIS's departure.
ST ERTH. [Abruptly] I don't like it.
WINSOR. I've known him all his life.
COLFORD. You may have my head if he did it, Lord St Erth. He and I have been in too many holes together. By Gad! My toe itches for that fellow's butt end.
BORRING. I'm sorry; but has he t-taken it in quite the right way? I should have thought--hearing it s-suddenly--
COLFORD. Bosh!
WINSOR. It's perfectly damnable for him.
ST ERTH. More damnable if he did it, WINSOR.
BORRING. The Courts are b-beastly distrustful, don't you know.
COLFORD. His word's good enough for me.
CANYNGE. We're as anxious to believe Dancy as you, Colford, for the honour of the Army and the Club.
WINSOR. Of course, he'll bring a case, when he's thought it over.
ST ERTH. What are we to do in the meantime?
COLFORD. If Dancy's asked to resign, you may take my resignation too.
BORRING. I thought his wanting to f-fight him a bit screeny.
COLFORD. Wouldn't you have wanted a shot at the brute? A law court? Pah!
WINSOR. Yes. What'll be his position even if he wins?
BORRING. Damages, and a stain on his c-character.
WINSOR. Quite so, unless they find the real thief. People always believe the worst.
COLFORD. [Glaring at BORRING] They do.
CANYNGE. There is no decent way out of a thing of this sort.
ST ERTH. No. [Rising] It leaves a bad taste. I'm sorry for young Mrs Dancy--poor woman!
BORRING. Are you going to play any more?
ST ERTH. [Abruptly] No, sir. Good night to you. Canynge, can I give you a lift?
He goes out, followed by CANYNGE. BORRING.
[After a slight pause] Well, I shall go and take the t-temperature of the Club.
He goes out.
COLFORD. Damn that effeminate stammering chap! What can we do for Dancy, WINSOR?
WINSOR. Colford! [A slight pause] The General felt his coat sleeve that night, and it was wet.
COLFORD. Well! What proof's that? No, by George! An old school-fellow, a brother officer, and a pal.
WINSOR. If he did do it--
COLFORD. He didn't. But if he did, I'd stick to him, and see him through it, if I could.
WINSOR walks over to the fire, stares into it, turns round and stares at COLFORD, who is standing motionless.
COLFORD. Yes, by God!
CURTAIN.
SCENE II [NOTE.--This should be a small set capable of being set quickly within that of the previous scene.]
Morning of the following day. The DANCYS' flat. In the sitting-room of this small abode MABEL DANCY and MARGARET ORME are sitting full face to the audience, on a couch in the centre of the room, in front of the imaginary window. There is a fireplace, Left, with fire burning; a door below it, Left; and a door on the Right, facing the audience, leads to a corridor and the outer door of the flat, which is visible. Their voices are heard in rapid exchange; then as the curtain rises, so does MABEL.
MABEL. But it's monstrous!
MARGARET. Of course! [She lights a cigarette and hands the case to MABEL, who, however, sees nothing but her own thoughts] De Levis might just as well have pitched on me, except that I can't jump more than six inches in these skirts.
MABEL. It's wicked! Yesterday afternoon at the Club, did you say? Ronny hasn't said a word to me. Why?
MARGARET. [With a long puff of smoke] Doesn't want you bothered.
MABEL. But----Good heavens!----Me!
MARGARET. Haven't you found out, Mabel, that he isn't exactly communicative? No desperate character is.
MABEL. Ronny?
MARGARET. Gracious! Wives are at a disadvantage, especially early on. You've never hunted with him, my dear. I have. He takes more sudden decisions than any man I ever knew. He's taking one now, I'll bet.
MABEL. That beast, De Levis! I was in our room next door all the time.
MARGARET. Was the door into Ronny's dressing-room open?
MABEL. I don't know; I--I think it was.
MARGARET. Well, you can say so in Court any way. Not that it matters. Wives are liars by law.
MABEL. [Staring down at her] What do you mean--Court?
MARGARET. My dear, he'll have to bring an action for defamation of character, or whatever they call it.
MABEL. Were they talking of this last night at the WINSOR's?
MARGARET. Well, you know a dinner-table, Mabel--Scandal is heaven-sent at this time of year.
MABEL. It's terrible, such a thing--terrible!
MARGARET. [Gloomily] If only Ronny weren't known to be so broke.
MABEL. [With her hands to her forehead] I can't realise--I simply can't. If there's a case would it be all right afterwards?
MARGARET. Do you remember St Offert--cards? No, you wouldn't--you were in high frocks. Well, St Offert got damages, but he also got the hoof, underneath. He lives in Ireland. There isn't the slightest connection, so far as I can see, Mabel, between innocence and reputation. Look at me!
MABEL. We'll fight it tooth and nail!
MARGARET. Mabel, you're pure wool, right through; everybody's sorry for you.
MABEL. It's for him they ought--
MARGARET. [Again handing the cigarette case] Do smoke, old thing.
MABEL takes a cigarette this time, but does not light it.
It isn't altogether simple. General Canynge was there last night. You don't mind my being beastly frank, do you?
MABEL. No. I want it.
MARGARET. Well, he's all for esprit de corps and that. But he was awfully silent.
MABEL. I hate half-hearted friends. Loyalty comes before everything.
MARGARET. Ye-es; but loyalties cut up against each other sometimes, you know.
MABEL. I must see Ronny. D'you mind if I go and try to get him on the telephone?
MARGARET. Rather not.
MABEL goes out by the door Left.
Poor kid!
She curls herself into a corner of the sofa, as if trying to get away from life. The bell rings. MARGARET stirs, gets up, and goes out into the corridor, where she opens the door to LADY ADELA WINSOR, whom she precedes into the sitting-room.
Enter the second murderer! D'you know that child knew nothing?
LADY A. Where is she?
MARGARET. Telephoning. Adela, if there's going to be an action, we shall be witnesses. I shall wear black georgette with an ecru hat. Have you ever given evidence?
LADY A. Never.
MARGARET. It must be too frightfully thrilling.
LADY A. Oh! Why did I ever ask that wretch De Levis? I used to think him pathetic. Meg did you know----Ronald Dancy's coat was wet? The General happened to feel it.
MARGARET. So that's why he was so silent.
LADY A. Yes; and after the scene in the Club yesterday he went to see those bookmakers, and Goole--what a name!--is sure he told Dancy about the sale.
MARGARET. [Suddenly] I don't care. He's my third cousin. Don't you feel you couldn't, Adela?
LADY A. Couldn't--what?
MARGARET. Stand for De Levis against one of ourselves?
LADY A. That's very narrow, Meg.
MARGARET. Oh! I know lots of splendid Jews, and I rather liked little Ferdy; but when it comes to the point--! They all stick together; why shouldn't we? It's in the blood. Open your jugular, and see if you haven't got it.
LADY A. My dear, my great grandmother was a Jewess. I'm very proud of her.
MARGARET. Inoculated. [Stretching herself] Prejudices, Adela--or are they loyalties--I don't know--cris-cross--we all cut each other's throats from the best of motives.
LADY A. Oh! I shall remember that. Delightful! [Holding up a finger] You got it from Bergson, Meg. Isn't he wonderful?
MARGARET. Yes; have you ever read him?
LADY A. Well--No. [Looking at the bedroom door] That poor child! I quite agree. I shall tell every body it's ridiculous. You don't really think Ronald Dancy--?
MARGARET. I don't know, Adela. There are people who simply can't live without danger. I'm rather like that myself. They're all right when they're getting the D.S.O. or shooting man-eaters; but if there's no excitement going, they'll make it--out of sheer craving. I've seen Ronny Dancy do the maddest things for no mortal reason except the risk. He's had a past, you know.
LADY A. Oh! Do tell!
MARGARET. He did splendidly in the war, of course, because it suited him; but--just before--don't you remember--a very queer bit of riding?
LADY A. No.
MARGARET. Most dare-devil thing--but not quite. You must remember-- it was awfully talked about. And then, of course, right up to his marriage--[She lights a cigarette.]
LADY A. Meg, you're very tantalising!
MARGARET. A foreign-looking girl--most plummy. Oh! Ronny's got charm --this Mabel child doesn't know in the least what she's got hold of!
LADY A. But they're so fond of each other!
MARGARET. That's the mistake. The General isn't mentioning the coat, is he?
LADY A. Oh, no! It was only to Charles.
MABEL returns.
MARGARET. Did you get him?
MABEL. No; he's not at Tattersall's, nor at the Club.
LADY ADELA rises and greets her with an air which suggests bereavement.
LADY A. Nobody's going to believe this, my dear.
MABEL. [Looking straight at her] Nobody who does need come here, or trouble to speak to us again.
LADY A. That's what I was afraid of; you're going to be defiant. Now don't! Just be perfectly natural.
MABEL. So easy, isn't it? I could kill anybody who believes such a thing.
MARGARET. You'll want a solicitor, Mabel, Go to old Mr Jacob Twisden.
LADY A. Yes; he's so comforting.
MARGARET. He got my pearls back once--without loss of life. A frightfully good fireside manner. Do get him here, Mabel, and have a heart-to-heart talk, all three of you!
MABEL. [Suddenly] Listen! There's Ronny!
DANCY comes in.
DANCY. [With a smile] Very good of you to have come.
MARGARET. Yes. We're just going. Oh! Ronny, this is quite too-- [But his face dries her up; and sidling past, she goes].
LADY A. Charles sent his-love--[Her voice dwindles on the word, and she, too, goes].
DANCY. [Crossing to his wife] What have they been saying?
MABEL. Ronny! Why didn't you tell me?
DANCY. I wanted to see De Levis again first.
MABEL. That wretch! How dare he? Darling! [She suddenly clasps and kisses him. He does not return the kiss, but remains rigid in her arms, so that she draws away and looks at him] It's hurt you awfully, I know.
DANCY. Look here, Mabel! Apart from that muck--this is a ghastly tame-cat sort of life. Let's cut it and get out to Nairobi. I can scare up the money for that.
MABEL. [Aghast] But how can we? Everybody would say--
RONNY. Let them! We shan't be here.
MABEL. I couldn't bear people to think--
DANCY. I don't care a damn what people think monkeys and cats. I never could stand their rotten menagerie. Besides, what does it matter how I act; if I bring an action and get damages--if I pound him to a jelly-- it's all no good! I can't prove it. There'll be plenty of people unconvinced.
MABEL. But they'll find the real thief.
DANCY. [With a queer little smile] Will staying here help them to do that?
MABEL. [In a sort of agony] Oh! I couldn't--it looks like running away. We must stay and fight it!
DANCY. Suppose I didn't get a verdict--you never can tell.
MABEL. But you must--I was there all the time, with the door open.
DANCY. Was it?
MABEL. I'm almost sure.
DANCY. Yes. But you're my wife.
MABEL. [Bewildered] Ronny, I don't understand--suppose I'd been accused of stealing pearls!
DANCY. [Wincing] I can't.
MABEL. But I might--just as easily. What would you think of me if I ran away from it?
DANCY. I see. [A pause] All right! You shall have a run for your money. I'll go and see old Twisden.
MABEL. Let me come! [DANCY shakes his head] Why not? I can't be happy a moment unless I'm fighting this.
DANCY puts out his hand suddenly and grips hers.
DANCY. You are a little brick!
MABEL. [Pressing his hand to her breast and looking into his face] Do you know what Margaret called you?
RONNY. No.
MABEL. A desperate character.
DANCY. Ha! I'm not a tame cat, any more than she.
The bell rings. MABEL goes out to the door and her voice is heard saying coldly.
MABEL. Will you wait a minute, please? Returning. It's De Levis--to see you. [In a low voice] Let me see him alone first. Just for a minute! Do!
DANCY. [After a moment's silence] Go ahead! He goes out into the bedroom.
MABEL. [Going to the door, Right] Come in.
DE LEVIS comes in, and stands embarrassed.
Yes?
DE LEVIS. [With a slight bow] Your husband, Mrs Dancy?
MABEL. He is in. Why do you want to see him?
DE LEVIS. He came round to my rooms just now, when I was out. He threatened me yesterday. I don't choose him to suppose I'm afraid of him.
MABEL. [With a great and manifest effort at self-control] Mr De Levis, you are robbing my husband of his good name.
DE LEVIS. [Sincerely] I admire your trustfulness, Mrs Dancy.
MABEL. [Staring at him] How can you do it? What do you want? What's your motive? You can't possibly believe that my husband is a thief!
DE LEVIS. Unfortunately.
MABEL. How dare you? How dare you? Don't you know that I was in our bedroom all the time with the door open? Do you accuse me too?
DE LEVIS. No, Mrs Dancy.
MABEL. But you do. I must have seen, I must have heard.
DE LEVIS. A wife's memory is not very good when her husband is in danger.
MABEL. In other words, I'm lying.
DE LEVIS. No. Your wish is mother to your thought, that's all.
MABEL. [After staring again with a sort of horror, turns to get control of herself. Then turning back to him] Mr De Levis, I appeal to you as a gentleman to behave to us as you would we should behave to you. Withdraw this wicked charge, and write an apology that Ronald can show.
DE LEVIS. Mrs Dancy, I am not a gentleman, I am only a--damned Jew. Yesterday I might possibly have withdrawn to spare you. But when my race is insulted I have nothing to say to your husband, but as he wishes to see me, I've come. Please let him know.
MABEL. [Regarding him again with that look of horror--slowly] I think what you are doing is too horrible for words.
DE LEVIS gives her a slight bow, and as he does so DANCY comes quickly in, Left. The two men stand with the length of the sofa between them. MABEL, behind the sofa, turns her eyes on her husband, who has a paper in his right hand.
DE LEVIS. You came to see me.
DANCY. Yes. I want you to sign this.
DE LEVIS. I will sign nothing.
DANCY. Let me read it: "I apologise to Captain Dancy for the reckless and monstrous charge I made against him, and I retract every word of it."
DE LEVIS. Not much!
DANCY. You will sign.
DE LEVIS. I tell you this is useless. I will sign nothing. The charge is true; you wouldn't be playing this game if it weren't. I'm going. You'll hardly try violence in the presence of your wife; and if you try it anywhere else--look out for yourself.
DANCY. Mabel, I want to speak to him alone.
MABEL. No, no!
DE LEVIS. Quite right, Mrs Dancy. Black and tan swashbuckling will only make things worse for him.
DANCY. So you shelter behind a woman, do you, you skulking cur!
DE LEVIS takes a step, with fists clenched and eyes blazing. DANCY, too, stands ready to spring--the moment is cut short by MABEL going quickly to her husband.
MABEL. Don't, Ronny. It's undignified! He isn't worth it.
DANCY suddenly tears the paper in two, and flings it into the fire.
DANCY. Get out of here, you swine!
DE LEVIS stands a moment irresolute, then, turning to the door, he opens it, stands again for a moment with a smile on his face, then goes. MABEL crosses swiftly to the door, and shuts it as the outer door closes. Then she stands quite still, looking at her husband --her face expressing a sort of startled suspense.
DANCY. [Turning and looking at her] Well! Do you agree with him?
MABEL. What do you mean?
DANCY. That I wouldn't be playing this game unless--
MABEL. Don't! You hurt me!
DANCY. Yes. You don't know much of me, Mabel.
MABEL. Ronny!
DANCY. What did you say to that swine?
MABEL. [Her face averted] That he was robbing us. [Turning to him suddenly] Ronny--you--didn't? I'd rather know.
DANCY. Ha! I thought that was coming.
MABEL. [Covering her face] Oh! How horrible of me--how horrible!
DANCY. Not at all. The thing looks bad.
MABEL. [Dropping her hands] If I can't believe in you, who can? [Going to him, throwing her arms round him, and looking up into his face] Ronny! If all the world--I'd believe in you. You know I would.
DANCY. That's all right, Mabs! That's all right! [His face, above her head, is contorted for a moment, then hardens into a mask] Well, what shall we do? Let's go to that lawyer--let's go--
MABEL. Oh! at once!
DANCY. All right. Get your hat on.
MABEL passes him, and goes into the bedroom, Left. DANCY, left alone, stands quite still, staring before him. With a sudden shrug of his shoulders he moves quickly to his hat and takes it up just as MABEL returns, ready to go out. He opens the door; and crossing him, she stops in the doorway, looking up with a clear and trustful gaze as
The CURTAIN falls.
Act III, Scene I
Three months later. Old MR JACOB TWISDEN's Room, at the offices of Twisden & Graviter, in Lincoln's Inn Fields, is spacious, with two large windows at back, a fine old fireplace, Right, a door below it, and two doors, Left. Between the windows is a large table sideways to the window wall, with a chair in the middle on the right-hand side, a chair against the wall, and a client's chair on the left-hand side.
GRAVITER, TWISDEN'S much younger partner, is standing in front of the right-hand window looking out on to the Fields, where the lamps are being lighted, and a taxi's engine is running down below. He turns his sanguine, shrewd face from the window towards a grandfather dock, between the doors, Left, which is striking "four." The door, Left Forward, is opened.
YOUNG CLERK. [Entering] A Mr Gilman, sir, to see Mr Twisden.
GRAVITER. By appointment?
YOUNG CLERK. No, sir. But important, he says.
GRAVITER. I'll see him.
The CLERK goes. GRAVITER sits right of table. The CLERK returns, ushering in an oldish MAN, who looks what he is, the proprietor of a large modern grocery store. He wears a dark overcoat and carries a pot hat. His gingery-grey moustache and mutton-chop whiskers give him the expression of a cat.
GRAVITER. [Sizing up his social standing] Mr Gilman? Yes.
GILMAN. [Doubtfully] Mr Jacob Twisden?
GRAVITER. [Smiling] His partner. Graviter my name is.
GILMAN. Mr Twisden's not in, then?
GRAVITER. No. He's at the Courts. They're just up; he should be in directly. But he'll be busy.
GILMAN. Old Mr Jacob Twisden--I've heard of him.
GRAVITER. Most people have.
GILMAN. It's this Dancy-De Levis case that's keepin' him at the Courts, I suppose?
GRAVITER nods.
Won't be finished for a day or two?
GRAVITER shakes his head. No.
Astonishin' the interest taken in it.
GRAVITER. As you say.
GILMAN. The Smart Set, eh? This Captain Dancy got the D.S.O., didn't he?
GRAVITER nods.
Sad to have a thing like that said about you. I thought he gave his evidence well; and his wife too. Looks as if this De Levis had got some private spite. Searchy la femme, I said to Mrs Gilman only this morning, before I--
GRAVITER. By the way, sir, what is your business?
GILMAN. Well, my business here--No, if you'll excuse me, I'd rather wait and see old Mr Jacob Twisden. It's delicate, and I'd like his experience.
GRAVITER. [With a shrug] Very well; then, perhaps, you'll go in there. [He moves towards the door, Left Back].
GILMAN. Thank you. [Following] You see, I've never been mixed up with the law--
GRAVITER. [Opening the door] No?
GILMAN. And I don't want to begin. When you do, you don't know where you'll stop, do you? You see, I've only come from a sense of duty; and --other reasons.
GRAVITER. Not uncommon.
GILMAN. [Producing card] This is my card. Gilman's--several branches, but this is the 'ead.
GRAVITER. [Scrutinising card] Exactly.
GILMAN. Grocery--I daresay you know me; or your wife does. They say old Mr Jacob Twisden refused a knighthood. If it's not a rude question, why was that?
GRAVITER. Ask him, sir; ask him.
GILMAN. I said to my wife at the time, "He's holdin' out for a baronetcy."
GRAVITER Closes the door with an exasperated smile.
YOUNG CLERK. [Opening the door, Left Forward] Mr WINSOR, sir, and Miss Orme.
They enter, and the CLERK withdraws.
GRAVITER. How d'you do, Miss Orme? How do you do, WINSOR?
WINSOR. Twisden not back, Graviter?
GRAVITER. Not yet.
WINSOR. Well, they've got through De Levis's witnesses. Sir Frederick was at the very top of his form. It's looking quite well. But I hear they've just subpoenaed Canynge after all. His evidence is to be taken to-morrow.
GRAVITER. Oho!
WINSOR. I said Dancy ought to have called him.
GRAVITER. We considered it. Sir Frederic decided that he could use him better in cross-examination.
WINSOR. Well! I don't know that. Can I go and see him before he gives evidence to-morrow?
GRAVITER. I should like to hear Mr Jacob on that, WINSOR. He'll be in directly.
WINSOR. They had Kentman, and Goole, the Inspector, the other bobby, my footman, Dancy's banker, and his tailor.
GRAVITER. Did we shake Kentman or Goole?
WINSOR. Very little. Oh! by the way, the numbers of those two notes were given, and I see they're published in the evening papers. I suppose the police wanted that. I tell you what I find, Graviter--a general feeling that there's something behind it all that doesn't come out.
GRAVITER. The public wants it's money's worth--always does in these Society cases; they brew so long beforehand, you see.
WINSOR. They're looking for something lurid.
MARGARET. When I was in the bog, I thought they were looking for me. [Taking out her cigarette case] I suppose I mustn't smoke, Mr Graviter?
GRAVITER. Do!
MARGARET. Won't Mr Jacob have a fit?
GRAVITER. Yes, but not till you've gone.
MARGARET. Just a whiff. [She lights a cigarette].
WINSOR. [Suddenly] It's becoming a sort of Dreyfus case--people taking sides quite outside the evidence.
MARGARET. There are more of the chosen in Court every day. Mr Graviter, have you noticed the two on the jury?
GRAVITER. [With a smile] No; I can't say--
MARGARET. Oh! but quite distinctly. Don't you think they ought to have been challenged?
GRAVITER. De Levis might have challenged the other ten, Miss Orme.
MARGARET. Dear me, now! I never thought of that.
As she speaks, the door Left Forward is opened and old MR JACOB TWISDEN comes in. He is tallish and narrow, sixty-eight years old, grey, with narrow little whiskers curling round his narrow ears, and a narrow bow-ribbon curling round his collar. He wears a long, narrow-tailed coat, and strapped trousers on his narrow legs. His nose and face are narrow, shrewd, and kindly. He has a way of narrowing his shrewd and kindly eyes. His nose is seen to twitch and snig.
TWISDEN. Ah! How are you, Charles? How do you do, my dear?
MARGARET. Dear Mr Jacob, I'm smoking. Isn't it disgusting? But they don't allow it in Court, you know. Such a pity! The Judge might have a hookah. Oh! wouldn't he look sweet--the darling!
TWISDEN. [With a little, old-fashioned bow] It does not become everybody as it becomes you, Margaret.
MARGARET. Mr Jacob, how charming! [With a slight grimace she puts out her cigarette].
GRAVITER. Man called Gilman waiting in there to see you specially.
TWISDEN. Directly. Turn up the light, would you, Graviter?
GRAVITER. [Turning up the light] Excuse me.
He goes.
WINSOR. Look here, Mr Twisden--
TWISDEN. Sit down; sit down, my dear.
And he himself sits behind the table, as a cup of tea is brought in to him by the YOUNG CLERK, with two Marie biscuits in the saucer.
Will you have some, Margaret?
MARGARET. No, dear Mr Jacob.
TWISDEN. Charles?
WINSOR. No, thanks. The door is closed.
TWISDEN. [Dipping a biscuit in the tea] Now, then?
WINSOR. The General knows something which on the face of it looks rather queer. Now that he's going to be called, oughtn't Dancy to be told of it, so that he may be ready with his explanation, in case it comes out?
TWISDEN. [Pouring some tea into the saucer] Without knowing, I can't tell you.
WINSOR and MARGARET exchange looks, and TWISDEN drinks from the saucer. MARGARET. Tell him, Charles.
WINSOR. Well! It rained that evening at Meldon. The General happened to put his hand on Dancy's shoulder, and it was damp.
TWISDEN puts the saucer down and replaces the cup in it. They both look intently at him.
TWISDEN. I take it that General Canynge won't say anything he's not compelled to say.
MARGARET. No, of course; but, Mr Jacob, they might ask; they know it rained. And he is such a George Washington.
TWISDEN. [Toying with a pair of tortoise-shell glasses] They didn't ask either of you. Still-no harm in your telling Dancy.
WINSOR. I'd rather you did it, Margaret.
MARGARET. I daresay. [She mechanically takes out her cigarette-case, catches the lift of TWISDEN'S eyebrows, and puts it back].
WINSOR. Well, we'll go together. I don't want Mrs Dancy to hear.
MARGARET. Do tell me, Mr Jacob; is he going to win?
TWISDEN. I think so, Margaret; I think so.
MARGARET. It'll be too--frightful if he doesn't get a verdict, after all this. But I don't know what we shall do when it's over. I've been sitting in that Court all these three days, watching, and it's made me feel there's nothing we like better than seeing people skinned. Well, bye-bye, bless you!
TWISDEN rises and pats her hand.
WINSOR. Half a second, Margaret. Wait for me. She nods and goes out. Mr Twisden, what do you really think?
TWISDEN. I am Dancy's lawyer, my dear Charles, as well as yours.
WINSOR. Well, can I go and see Canynge?
TWISDEN. Better not.
WINSOR. If they get that out of him, and recall me, am I to say he told me of it at the time?
TWISDEN. You didn't feel the coat yourself? And Dancy wasn't present? Then what Canynge told you is not evidence--he'll stop your being asked.
WINSOR. Thank goodness. Good-bye!
WINSOR goes out.
TWISDEN, behind his table, motionless, taps his teeth with the eyeglasses in his narrow, well-kept hand. After a long shake of his head and a shrug of his rather high shoulders he snips, goes to the window and opens it. Then crossing to the door, Left Back, he throws it open and says
TWISDEN. At your service, sir.
GILMAN comes forth, nursing his pot hat.
Be seated.
TWISDEN closes the window behind him, and takes his seat.
GILMAN. [Taking the client's chair, to the left of the table] Mr Twisden, I believe? My name's Gilman, head of Gilman's Department Stores. You have my card.
TWISDEN. [Looking at the card] Yes. What can we do for you?
GILMAN. Well, I've come to you from a sense of duty, sir, and also a feelin' of embarrassment. [He takes from his breast pocket an evening paper] You see, I've been followin' this Dancy case--it's a good deal talked of in Putney--and I read this at half-past two this afternoon. To be precise, at 2.25. [He rises and hands the paper to TWISDEN, and with a thick gloved forefinger indicates a passage] When I read these numbers, I 'appened to remember givin' change for a fifty-pound note--don't often 'ave one in, you know--so I went to the cash-box out of curiosity, to see that I 'adn't got it. Well, I 'ad; and here it is. [He draws out from his breast pocket and lays before TWISDEN a fifty-pound banknote] It was brought in to change by a customer of mine three days ago, and he got value for it. Now, that's a stolen note, it seems, and you'd like to know what I did. Mind you, that customer of mine I've known 'im--well-- eight or nine years; an Italian he is--wine salesman, and so far's I know, a respectable man-foreign-lookin', but nothin' more. Now, this was at 'alf-past two, and I was at my head branch at Putney, where I live. I want you to mark the time, so as you'll see I 'aven't wasted a minute. I took a cab and I drove straight to my customer's private residence in Putney, where he lives with his daughter--Ricardos his name is, Paolio Ricardos. They tell me there that he's at his business shop in the City. So off I go in the cab again, and there I find him. Well, sir, I showed this paper to him and I produced the note. "Here," I said, "you brought this to me and you got value for it." Well, that man was taken aback. If I'm a judge, Mr Twisden, he was taken aback, not to speak in a guilty way, but he was, as you might say, flummoxed. "Now," I said to him, "where did you get it--that's the point?" He took his time to answer, and then he said: "Well, Mr Gilman," he said, "you know me; I am an honourable man. I can't tell you offhand, but I am above the board." He's foreign, you know, in his expressions. "Yes," I said, "that's all very well," I said, "but here I've got a stolen note and you've got the value for it. Now I tell you," I said, "what I'm going to do; I'm going straight with this note to Mr Jacob Twisden, who's got this Dancy-De Levis case in 'and. He's a well-known Society lawyer," I said, "of great experience." "Oh!" he said, "that is what you do?"--funny the way he speaks! "Then I come with you!"--And I've got him in the cab below. I want to tell you everything before he comes up. On the way I tried to get something out of him, but I couldn't--I could not. "This is very awkward," I said at last. "It is, Mr Gilman," was his reply; and he began to talk about his Sicilian claret--a very good wine, mind you; but under the circumstances it seemed to me uncalled for. Have I made it clear to you?
TWISDEN. [Who has listened with extreme attention] Perfectly, Mr Gilman. I'll send down for him. [He touches a hand-bell].
The YOUNG CLERK appears at the door, Left Forward.
A gentleman in a taxi-waiting. Ask him to be so good as to step up. Oh! and send Mr Graviter here again.
The YOUNG CLERK goes out.
GILMAN. As I told you, sir, I've been followin' this case. It's what you might call piquant. And I should be very glad if it came about that this helped Captain Dancy. I take an interest, because, to tell you the truth, [Confidentially] I don't like--well, not to put too fine a point upon it 'Ebrews. They work harder; they're more sober; they're honest; and they're everywhere. I've nothing against them, but the fact is--they get on so.
TWISDEN. [Cocking an eye] A thorn in the flesh, Mr Gilman.
GILMAN. Well, I prefer my own countrymen, and that's the truth of it.
As he speaks, GRAVITER comes in by the door Left Forward.
TWISDEN. [Pointing to the newspaper and the note] Mr Gilman has brought this, of which he is holder for value. His customer, who changed it three days ago, is coming up.
GRAVITER. The fifty-pounder. I see. [His face is long and reflective].
YOUNG CLERK. [Entering] Mr Ricardos, sir.
He goes out. RICARDOS is a personable, Italian-looking man in a frock coat, with a dark moustachioed face and dark hair a little grizzled. He looks anxious, and bows.
TWISDEN. Mr Ricardos? My name is Jacob Twisden. My partner. [Holding up a finger, as RICARDOS would speak] Mr Gilman has told us about this note. You took it to him, he says, three days ago; that is, on Monday, and received cash for it?
RICARDOS. Yes, sare.
TWISDEN. You were not aware that it was stolen?
RICARDOS. [With his hand to his breast] Oh! no, sare.
TWISDEN. You received it from--?
RICARDOS. A minute, sare; I would weesh to explain--[With an expressive shrug] in private.
TWISDEN. [Nodding] Mr Gilman, your conduct has been most prompt. You may safely leave the matter in our hands, now. Kindly let us retain this note; and ask for my cashier as you go out and give him [He writes] this. He will reimburse you. We will take any necessary steps ourselves.
GILMAN. [In slight surprise, with modest pride] Well, sir, I'm in your 'ands. I must be guided by you, with your experience. I'm glad you think I acted rightly.
TWISDEN. Very rightly, Mr Gilman--very rightly. [Rising] Good afternoon!
GILMAN. Good afternoon, sir. Good afternoon, gentlemen! [To TWISDEN] I'm sure I'm very 'appy to have made your acquaintance, sir. It's a well-known name.
TWISDEN. Thank you.
GILMAN retreats, glances at RICARDOS, and turns again.
GILMAN. I suppose there's nothing else I ought to do, in the interests of the law? I'm a careful man.
TWISDEN. If there is, Mr Gilman, we will let you know. We have your address. You may make your mind easy; but don't speak of this. It might interfere with Justice.
GILMAN. Oh! I shouldn't dream of it. I've no wish to be mixed up in anything conspicuous. That's not my principle at all. Good-day, gentlemen.
He goes.
TWISDEN. [Seating himself] Now, sir, will you sit down.
But RICARDOS does not sit; he stands looking uneasily across the table at GRAVITER.
You may speak out.
RICARDOS. Well, Mr Tweesden and sare, this matter is very serious for me, and very delicate--it concairns my honour. I am in a great difficulty.
TWISDEN. When in difficulty--complete frankness, sir.
RICARDOS. It is a family matter, sare, I--
TWISDEN. Let me be frank with you. [Telling his points off on his fingers] We have your admission that you changed this stopped note for value. It will be our duty to inform the Bank of England that it has been traced to you. You will have to account to them for your possession of it. I suggest to you that it will be far better to account frankly to us.
RICARDOS. [Taking out a handkerchief and quite openly wiping his hands and forehead] I received this note, sare, with others, from a gentleman, sare, in settlement of a debt of honour, and I know nothing of where he got them.
TWISDEN. H'm! that is very vague. If that is all you can tell us, I'm afraid--
RICARDOS. Gentlemen, this is very painful for me. It is my daughter's good name--[He again wipes his brow].
TWISDEN. Come, sir, speak out!
RICARDOS. [Desperately] The notes were a settlement to her from this gentleman, of whom she was a great friend.
TWISDEN. [Suddenly] I am afraid we must press you for the name of the gentleman.
RICARDOS. Sare, if I give it to you, and it does 'im 'arm, what will my daughter say? This is a bad matter for me. He behaved well to her; and she is attached to him still; sometimes she is crying yet because she lost him. And now we betray him, perhaps, who knows? This is very unpleasant for me. [Taking up the paper] Here it gives the number of another note--a 'undred-pound note. I 'ave that too. [He takes a note from his breast pocket].
GRAVITER. How much did he give you in all?
RICARDOS. For my daughter's settlement one thousand pounds. I understand he did not wish to give a cheque because of his marriage. So I did not think anything about it being in notes, you see.
TWISDEN. When did he give you this money?
RICARDOS. The middle of Octobare last.
TWISDEN. [Suddenly looking up] Mr Ricardos, was it Captain Dancy?
RICARDOS. [Again wiping his forehead] Gentlemen, I am so fond of my daughter. I have only the one, and no wife.
TWISDEN. [With an effort] Yes, yes; but I must know.
RICARDOS. Sare, if I tell you, will you give me your good word that my daughter shall not hear of it?
TWISDEN. So far as we are able to prevent it--certainly.
RICARDOS. Sare, I trust you.--It was Captain Dancy.
A long pause.
GRAVITER [Suddenly] Were you blackmailing him?
TWISDEN. [Holding up his hand] My partner means, did you press him for this settlement?
RICARDOS. I did think it my duty to my daughter to ask that he make compensation to her.
TWISDEN. With threats that you would tell his wife?
RICARDOS. [With a shrug] Captain Dancy was a man of honour. He said: "Of course I will do this." I trusted him. And a month later I did remind him, and he gave me this money for her. I do not know where he got it--I do not know. Gentlemen, I have invested it all on her--every penny-except this note, for which I had the purpose to buy her a necklace. That is the sweared truth.
TWISDEN. I must keep this note. [He touches the hundred-pound note] You will not speak of this to anyone. I may recognise that you were a holder for value received--others might take a different view. Good-day, sir. Graviter, see Mr Ricardos out, and take his address.
RICARDOS. [Pressing his hands over the breast of his frock coat--with a sigh] Gentlemen, I beg you--remember what I said. [With a roll of his eyes] My daughter--I am not happee. Good-day.
He turns and goes out slowly, Left Forward, followed by GRAVITER.
TWISDEN. [To himself] Young Dancy! [He pins the two notes together and places them in an envelope, then stands motionless except for his eyes and hands, which restlessly express the disturbance within him.]
GRAVITER returns, carefully shuts the door, and going up to him, hands him RICARDOS' card.
[Looking at the card] Villa Benvenuto. This will have to be verified, but I'm afraid it's true. That man was not acting.
GRAVITER. What's to be done about Dancy?
TWISDEN. Can you understand a gentleman--?
GRAVITER. I don't know, sir. The war loosened "form" all over the place. I saw plenty of that myself. And some men have no moral sense. From the first I've had doubts.
TWISDEN. We can't go on with the case.
GRAVITER. Phew! . . . [A moment's silence] Gosh! It's an awful thing for his wife.
TWISDEN. Yes.
GRAVITER [Touching the envelope] Chance brought this here, sir. That man won't talk--he's too scared.
TWISDEN. Gilman.
GRAVITER. Too respectable. If De Levis got those notes back, and the rest of the money, anonymously?
TWISDEN. But the case, Graviter; the case.
GRAVITER. I don't believe this alters what I've been thinking.
TWISDEN. Thought is one thing--knowledge another. There's duty to our profession. Ours is a fine calling. On the good faith of solicitors a very great deal hangs. [He crosses to the hearth as if warmth would help him].
GRAVITER. It'll let him in for a prosecution. He came to us in confidence.
TWISDEN. Not as against the law.
GRAVITER. No. I suppose not. [A pause] By Jove, I don't like losing this case. I don't like the admission we backed such a wrong 'un.
TWISDEN. Impossible to go on. Apart from ourselves, there's Sir Frederic. We must disclose to him--can't let him go on in the dark. Complete confidence between solicitor and counsel is the essence of professional honour.
GRAVITER. What are you going to do then, sir?
TWISDEN. See Dancy at once. Get him on the phone.
GRAVITER. [Taking up the telephone] Get me Captain Dancy's flat. . . . What? . . .[To TWISDEN] Mrs Dancy is here. That's a propos with a vengeance. Are you going to see her, sir?
TWISDEN. [After a moment's painful hesitation] I must.
GRAVITER. [Telephoning] Bring Mrs Dancy up. [He turns to the window].
MABEL DANDY is shown in, looking very pale. TWISDEN advances from the fire, and takes her hand.
MABEL. Major Colford's taken Ronny off in his car for the night. I thought it would do him good. I said I'd come round in case there was anything you wanted to say before to-morrow.
TWISDEN. [Taken aback] Where have they gone?
MABEL. I don't know, but he'll be home before ten o'clock to-morrow. Is there anything?
TWISDEN. Well, I'd like to see him before the Court sits. Send him on here as soon as he comes.
MABEL. [With her hand to her forehead] Oh! Mr Twisden, when will it be over? My head's getting awful sitting in that Court.
TWISDEN. My dear Mrs Dancy, there's no need at all for you to come down to-morrow; take a rest and nurse your head.
MABEL. Really and truly?
TWISDEN. Yes; it's the very best thing you can do.
GRAVITER turns his head, and looks at them unobserved.
MABEL. How do you think it's going?
TWISDEN. It went very well to-day; very well indeed.
MABEL. You must be awfully fed up with us.
TWISDEN. My dear young lady, that's our business. [He takes her hand].
MABEL's face suddenly quivers. She draws her hand away, and covers her lips with it.
There, there! You want a day off badly.
MABEL. I'm so tired of--! Thank you so much for all you're doing. Good night! Good night, Mr Graviter!
GRAVITER. Good night, Mrs Dancy.
MABEL goes.
GRAVITER. D'you know, I believe she knows.
TWISDEN. No, no! She believes in him implicitly. A staunch little woman. Poor thing!
GRAVITER. Hasn't that shaken you, sir? It has me.
TWISDEN. No, no! I--I can't go on with the case. It's breaking faith. Get Sir Frederic's chambers.
GRAVITER. [Telephoning, and getting a reply, looks round at TWISDEN] Yes?
TWISDEN. Ask if I can come round and see him.
GRAVITER. [Telephoning] Can Sir Frederic spare Mr Twisden a few minutes now if he comes round? [Receiving reply] He's gone down to Brighton for the night.
TWISDEN. H'm! What hotel?
GRAVITER. [Telephoning] What's his address? What . . . ? [To TWISDEN] The Bedford.
TWISDEN. I'll go down.
GRAVITER. [Telephoning] Thank you. All right. [He rings off].
TWISDEN. Just look out the trains down and up early to-morrow.
GRAVITER takes up an A B C, and TWISDEN takes up the Ricardos card.
TWISDEN. Send to this address in Putney, verify the fact that Ricardos has a daughter, and give me a trunk call to Brighton. Better go yourself, Graviter. If you see her, don't say anything, of course-- invent some excuse. [GRAVITER nods] I'll be up in time to see Dancy.
GRAVITER. By George! I feel bad about this.
TWISDEN. Yes. But professional honour comes first. What time is that train? [He bends over the ABC].
CURTAIN.