Memories discreet and indiscreet

Front matter

MEMORIES DISCREET & INDISCREET

By A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE

THE LIBRARY

Foreword

I HAVE many times been asked to write some of my recollections and experiences. I fear there is little of importance to recount of myself beyond the fact that I have met many interesting people, and am proud to have known some of the greatest empire and history makers of the century.

Taking a bird's-eye view of my life as far as it has gone, what stands out pre-eminently is the number and kindness of my friends. In this world of hurry, where we are all either hastening into or out of it, sometimes it is pleasant to recall, and metaphorically sit down and converse with our friends of the past.

A Woman of No Importance.

Contents

I. Early Memories

II. A Secret Engagement .

III. The Serbian Tragedy .

Chapter I

Early Childhood — Scene in Church — The Rev. and Hon. Francis Clements — His Daughters and I Invent a Sermon — I Preach it — The Rev. William Gooch, Canon of York — His Coach and Four — Mad Hatter Era — An Economical Friend Shares his Hat with a Scarecrow — The Muffin-girl Fined — Who Paid the Fine ? — Another Eccentric Who Spent His Time in Bed — Lord Kenyon as Chorister — The Snuff-taking Marquess of Londonderry — A Ride on His Back — The Duchess of Teck and " My Little Girl " — I Appear as a Brilliant Scholar — Mr. Christopher Sykes and His Valet at Sandringham — The Valet's Advice to the Prince of Wales — To a nouveau-riche — Helps a Favourite — The Hambros of Steephill Castle — Their Son's Mysterious Death — The Monson Trial — The Captain — Lord Suffield Goes to Market — Captain Cowper-Coles — His Gallantry— ^The Fate of His Invention.

I FEEL I should like to begin this book with '' once upon a time/' as I used to start the stories I began but never finished in my early childhood.

Some of my farthest-reaching recollections are in connection with my spiritual welfare, which appeared to be of absorbing interest to quite a number of people. Part of the Sunday discipline consisted of my being taken when a very small person to church in a much-starched and exceedingly stiff frock, tight in the arm-holes, and in every way uncomfortable. In this garb I was expected to sit still during the long, tedious service. One Sunday this got upon my nerves, and while the clergyman in a black robe preached a long sermon from a three-decker pulpit, giving his

II congregation to understand they were all doomed to everlasting torture, the deliverer of this unsporting harangue turned round, pointing his finger at the part of the church where I happened to be. Thinking this a personal matter and somebody dropping a book at the exact moment I gave a loud scream, then, frightened at the result of my breakdown, I burst into tears. My father peered at me over the top of his spectacles with interrogating eyes, the congregation stared, and my mother's face grew long, foreboding trouble in the near future.

On another occasion when staying with some friends a few miles from home, I was asked by my host, a clergyman, if I could tell him what his sermon had been about that morning in church. I had not the faintest idea, but remembered the name of Jehovah being mentioned several times, so suggested that was the subject of his sermon, only to be told he feared I could not have been attending. I was put down from his knee and told to try to remember. His two daughters were then called and asked the same question. They too were unable to tell their parent anything about it, so we were all bundled off to the schoolroom to remember and return when we had recalled it.

The Rev. and Hon. Francis Clements was the preacher on this last occasion, at that time Rector of Norton, near Stockton-on-Tees. His two youngest daughters were somewhere about the same age as my sister and I, and were among our most intimate play-fellows. At that time Mr. Clements' elder brother, the third Earl of Leitrim, was alive but had no heir ; it will be remembered he was murdered, and our friend's son Robert became the fourth Earl, and his sisters were granted the rank and precedence of earl's daughters, so our playmates became Lady Selina and Lady May.

In the schoolroom we found the governess, who told us the text, and we three girls between us invented what we thought a choice and telling sermon. We all agreed to preach the same, feehng Mr. Clements could hardly stick to his version with three of us against him, so quite gaily we set off to find him. The ruse was a failure as our host had his own ideas on the value of evidence.

I always enjoyed my visits to the Clements. My two young friends of those days are now Lady Selina Lyndon and Lady May Mostyn.

I have heard people speak of their childhood as the happiest time of their lives. Mine certainly was not ; I was always in trouble with my mother and governesses, being much too fond of the open air, horses and dogs, for which I confess I was apt to neglect my lessons, also at times upset the household by being unpunctual, thereby causing ructions.

My people lived in Yorkshire, and there it was most of my childhood was spent. My father was a good shot and keen fisherman, spending most of his time on his own property, attending magistrates' meetings and useful country-side things of that kind, having by profession been called to the Bar.

My mother was the daughter of one of the old school of dignified, sporting parsons. I remember the awe he inspired in us children ; he was very handsome, tall, well-built and pompous to a degree. He lived in great state, driving about the country, to York to stay at Bishopthorpe, to Wynyard to stay with the Londonderrys, in fact wherever he went it was in his coach and four. He was rather a pretty whip, I remember. We were almost as much in awe of his valet, without whom he never moved, as of him. The valet also was a very pompous and imposing person who gave everybody to understand he had always lived amongst the ** hupper circles."

There were four of us children. My grandfather on my father's side, who was a very rich old man, had informed his son that if there were more than four children he would be unable to leave them fortunes ; so four there were and no more. I am one of them and named after an old maiden great-aunt, who it was believed would leave me her money, which, by the way, nearly miscarried, for she one day heard someone speak of me by a pet name instead of by hers, so she said under the circumstances she would leave her money to her maid : but a kind friend of the family put matters straight by talking incessantly of me by the name she knew and approved and by advising my people to take me over at intervals and to be sure and call me by my formal name before the old lady. This was done, and I remember being given pieces of sugar to eat, taken from between the bars of the canary bird's-cage ; and when in an extra fit of economy and saving, which was one of her characteristics, she, during her maid's absence, tried to put out her bedroom fire, which she considered extravagantly large, and in so doing set fire to herself and was burnt to death, she left some of her money to me !

Eccentricity was fashionable in those days. It was in fact the last quarter of the Mad Hatter Era. Just as ladies fainted at the slightest provocation, so men allowed themselves to develop oddities of character with the utmost complacency, and my relations were no exception to the prevailing fashion. In our part of Yorkshire, all had a leaning towards the weirdest forms of economy, while occasionally bursting forth into unnecessary extravagance. My father would be seriously worried if we came home from the station by the best road, and the shortest by a mile, because there was a turnpike and sixpence per horse to pay, but would think nothing of spending a hundred pounds on a bracelet that my mother did not want.

It was very funny the way my father used to adjudicate on the bench. Having been a barrister he knew more law than most of his fellow magistrates, and I have always heard he was extremely just, but when off the seat of justice his heart would relent towards some of the culprits he had punished. There was a little muffin-girl who used to tramp about the country from house to house ostensibly selling muffins, but often combining it with helping herself to whatever she could lay her hands on while the servants were busy. She was good-looking and had a winsome manner, but was perpetually being brought up for stealing. On one occasion she had been ordered to pay a fine of half a crown. The young woman, who thoroughly understood her business, wept and declared that was all she had made during the week after walking miles. The bench was relentless, but while driving home my father passed the girl tramping the high road without shoes or stockings, so he stopped the family omnibus in which he always attended magistrates' meetings, gave her a lift and presented her with half a crown !

A neighbour of ours living at Acklam Hall, a Mr. Hustler, was a prince of eccentrics. First of all he made a romantic match by running away with a girl from school and marrying her. He then settled down on his estate, where he would retire to bed for weeks and months at a time, his only amusement being keeping his accounts and seeing how he could cut down expenses, although he was a rich man. At long intervals he would surprise the country-side by blossoming forth pink and exotic-looking from his hothouse treatment, and go to church, or perhaps a magistrates' meeting. During his retirement all that was ever seen of him was an occasional vision of pink legs flying past the banisters on the landing while people were calling on his wife. He was very curious to know who the callers were, so as soon as the front-door bell rang, he would pop out of bed and take a fleeting glance at them from the top of the stairs.

Another eccentric was a man called Rudd, an old bachelor who ran away when anybody looked at him. Although well off and living on a snug little property of his own he never allowed tradesmen to call for orders nor would he allow his servants to make any purchases. Once a week he would sally forth about dark with a large market-basket on his arm and buy provisions. My father loved to tease the poor little man, who was really rather clever, and elected to live undisturbed among his books. Father would say, " Jacky, it is not good for you burying yourself like this; I shall come and see you/' Jacky, who stood about four foot nothing and had several angrylooking bristles growing from the end of his nose, would then become furious and splutter that he did not want to see anyone, that he would padlock his gate, and so on. My father would continue to tease him, saying he would climb the gate, Jacky taking it all quite seriously and foaming with rage. He was very short-sighted, wore huge goggles and a hat two sizes too large for him, which latter he actually shared with the scarecrow in the garden.

In those days families emigrated en masse in the summer to some near seaside place while the haymaking was in progress. We went regularly to Redcar, where there was excellent bathing : and a great gathering we used to be of friends and relations, amongst them a number of amusing Rivett-Carnacs, Agnes de Crespigny, sister of the present Sir Claude, the well-known sportsman ; Lloyd Kenyon, then a delicate little boy, who sang in the choir and looked very good, now A.D.C. to King George and formerly Lord in Waiting to Queen Victoria ; besides other friends too numerous to mention.

I remember seeing Lord Kenyon in his cassock looking like a cherub in the church choir at Coatham (which is a suburb of Redcar), little boys in front, big boys behind, then the clergy. Lloyd's mother was delightful and I was fond of her. She was very High Church and a really good woman, most anxious to bring up her son in the way he should go, and he was a very devout little boy ; I remember his crying one evening because his mother told him to stay and play with us instead of going to evensong.

Being an only son his mother feared his being spoilt, so Agnes de Crespigny used to stay with her for months at a time as playmate for him, and all of them used to stay with us a great deal. Agnes, by the way, married the vicar of Coatham Church in later years, and

I saw a short time ago that she has to mourn the loss of her son in this ghastly war.

Those were the days of long journeys, and anxieties arising from the fear that the roads might be impassable, which in the winter was by no means uncommon. One winter, when the roads were covered with snow, we were hoping to go to stay at Wynyard for a children's ball. First we were told it would be impossible to drive the twenty-five miles : I think that was the distance. Later we heard that our father meant to try.

By dint of frost nails in the horses' shoes we reached Wynyard after an exciting drive over very slippery roads with a pair of spirited black Irish horses. My sister caught cold on the journey and had to go to bed instead of enjoying herself, which spoilt my pleasure to a great extent. This visit has always remained impressed on my memory for two reasons, the first being while we were playing hide-and-seek Lady Averina Vane-Tempest fainted, and never having seen anybody faint, I thought she was dead. This terrified me, but I could then understand her governess's anxiety all the time she was playing, for fear she should get too hot or over-exert herself.

The next thing that makes it memorable was that I experienced one of the proudest moments of my life one day at luncheon. It must be remembered these were the days when children were suppressed, to be seen and not heard. It happened this way : at luncheon we were all obliged to speak French as Lady Londonderry thought it good practice for everybody. She was telling us to be sure and feed the birds during the frosty weather, then wishing to say something about the sparrows and not being able to remember the French for that particular bird, addressed herself to the table generally and asked for help. Nobody knew. Lady Averina's governess got red in the face and said she knew quite well, but for the moment had forgotten. It so happened that one of the last exercises I had done before leaving home had included the word sparrow, so frightened at my own daring I said, ''*Moineau' is the French for * sparrow,''' in consequence of which astounding knowledge I was considered a clever child, profound scholar and brilHant personage.

Another great occasion at Wynyard was when Princess Mary of Teck was staying there and a big ball was given in honour of the occasion. I, in company with the rest of the young people staying in the house, was allowed to watch all the big-wigs march in to dinner, after which we were carried off to be decked out in beautiful sashes, silk stockings, and all the rest of a full-dress evening toilet. Then we had to sit still until we were sent for to go down to dessert. The wait seemed interminable, but at last we were summoned and, walking like well-bred ducks in single file, followed the beautiful footman with powdered hair, he glancing at himself in all the long mirrors he passed to see if his silk stockings were braced up enough or if any of the powder had fallen on to his well-fitting livery.

In the dining-room we all made profound curtsies. We were then assisted on to high stools beside our host and hostess. My place was near Lord Londonderry, who heaped all sorts of good things on my plate until the Duchess of Teck laughingly said I should be ill if I ate them all. I could not help staring at the Duchess. She had such a sweet, good-tempered face, and when she asked me if it was not my bed-time and said her little girl (our present Queen Mary) went to bed much earlier, I wriggled off my stool, made another curtsy, and replied, ** Yes, madam, I generally go to bed at half-past eight, but this is a great treat." I then tried to scramble on to my high stool again, and was dismayed to find every time I tried to do so, it endeavoured to fall on top of me, so I had to be lifted up by Lord Londonderry. No sooner was I seated than the ladies left the dining-room, and I had no time to eat my good things. I suppose I was looking ruefully at them when Lord Londonderry lifted up my frock, popped into it a bunch of grapes and a dish of chocolates, telHng me, with a pat on my shoulder, to put them under my pillow. The others had consumed their good things on the premises, I was the only lucky one with something for under my pillow.

I am speaking of the 5th Marquess of Londonderry, at one time Vice-Commodore of the Yacht Squadron. I think yachting and snuff were his two greatest pleasures in life. It was quite fashionable in those days to take snuff, and I remember once when he was carrying me downstairs on his back his taking some which made me sneeze violently. I was afraid to take my arm from round his neck so spluttered over his back hair, much to his amusement. He said it served him right. A most hospitable host, a very rich man and a great personage, yet simple and accessible to all. He employed a vast number of labourers in his mines and quarries. At that time I remember seeing his name on railway trucks, but do not remember in his life seeing it on the coal carts and lorries in London. That became the fashion in the late Lord Londonderry's time, the 6th Marquess.

Mr. Christopher Sykes, of Brantingham Thorpe, a well-known Yorkshire landowner, whose finances were not equal to the strain he put upon them while entertaining Royalty, had a valet who gives a funny story relating to the Londonderrys, at least his way of telHng it was funny. The valet's name was Girton, and when Mr. Sykes came to the end of his tether he gave his servant a letter that would have carried him anywhere, a really kindly and first-rate recommendation. Girton had made some money if his master had not, and he eventually became the proprietor of a large private hotel, never mind which, but it was much on the lines of the great Brown's in Albemarle Street. Girton, being almost as well known in society as Mr. Sykes himself, was not long in collecting a clientele, who used to love drawing him and hearing some of his astounding accounts of proceedings in which he had either taken part or been a witness during his Hfe amongst the famiUes in which he had served. One of the stories he was very fond of telling was when staying at Sandringham with Mr. Sykes, while a big shoot was going on. Either when walking up, or in covert, I forget which, Mr. Sykes, anxious that the Prince should hear some of Girton's humour, sent for him, at any rate this is Girton's story.

The Prince : '' Oh, Girton, Londonderry has invited me and the Princess to see his place at Wynyard, and I have never been there."

Girton : '' Then you should lose no chance, your Royal Tghness.''

The Prince : '' We intend going, Girton. How do you think we ought to get there, you know Yorkshire so well.''

Girton : '' Well, your Royal Tghness, there are two ways. Yes, there are two ways, one is to go all the way by train, but if you asks for popularity, I says get out at Middlesborough, you and the Princess. From there in an open carriage you and the Princess go right away to Wynyard, you could not do better. It's a 'ot bed of radicalism, but when they see you among 'em it will be a 'ot bed of conservatism."

Another story of Girton's that has never been given to the public before.

A certain nouveau-riche had been invited to dine with Mr. Sykes to meet the Prince of Wales, who had approved the name on the list submitted for his Royal pleasure.

The gentleman of great and lately acquired wealth was feeling full of importance though a trifle nervous, not knowing exactly the usual procedure on such occasions. At Doncaster the day before the dinner he chanced to see the great Girton putting a few sovereigns on a horse he had heard Mr. Jim Lowther say would be sure to win, so walking up to him said, '' Good day, Girton. I am dining at your place to-morrow to meet the Prince of Wales; you are more accustomed to Royalties thaji I am, tell me what is the proper thing to do ? Should I walk up to the Prince and say ' How do you do ' ? or wait for him to speak to me ? or ought I to go down on one knee ? "

Girton : " Well, Sir, I hought to know all about these things by now, but they requires great delicacy, — yes, great delicacy/'

Nouveau-riche : '* Yes ! of course I know all that, but tell me, do I shake hands or bow ? "

Girton: ** That, Sir, depends on circumstances. You will be introduced to his Royal Tghness, he may hold out 'is 'and, in which case you takes it gentle like, if not, you bow like this," here Girton laid his arm across his middle and bowed low over it. ** And you never sits down unless the Prince says you may."

Nouveau-riche : '* What ! should I have to stand all the evening if not given leave to sit down ? "

Girton (in superior manner) : '' That is so, many people stand all day."

Nouveau-riche : " But look here, Girton, how could I eat my dinner standing up all the time ? and would not the others think it looked as if the Prince did not like me, if he told the others to sit down and not me ? "

Girton {with a lofty smile) : *' I should not worry myself. Sir, if I was you, it will come quite naturallike when the time comes ; his Tghness will say very quietly, ' Pray be seated,' and everything will go on quite ordinary."

I have been told the Prince's manner and. way of speaking was copied exactly.

It was amusing the way this valet took all under his wing who visited his master, provided they were liberal enough to him. Mr. Sykes said, *' Girton makes great favourites." One of these favourites was a certain well-known sporting baronet living in the same county as his master, who, when tired of home life, would tell his wife he was going to buy horses, and then go and entertain some of his theatrical friends at a seaside place not very far away.

During one of these jaunts Girton and his master were staying in the same hotel, and while passing the rooms occupied by the sportsman and his friends, none of whom were yet up though it was 12.30 midday, he saw at the end of the landing the baronet's wife

asking the number of the room occupied by Sir ,

and the simple chambermaid gave the number — 17.

Girton grasped the situation in a moment and

asked Lady if he could help her to find the room

she wanted. She told him she wanted her husband's room, No. 17.

They were standing almost opposite the door at the time. Without a blush Girton said, " I think it is

117 that Sir is occupying, on the other landing ;

allow me to show your ladyship the way." Having guided her to the door of 117 he fled back to 17 and informed the occupant his wife was looking for him.

Meanwhile Lady had entered 117, and seeing a

rolled-up figure in the bed evidently fast asleep, who took no notice of her wrathful expressions, she pulled the clothes down from the individuaFs head to find it was a man she knew quite well in the 3rd Dragoon Guards ! sleeping off a late night. Thinking it was his soldier-servant trying to awaken him he used strong language !

Girton used after the fashion of servants always to speak of '' me and the governor," meaning, of course, Mr. Sykes, his master. Some of his stories, which became well known from his constant repetition, were distinctly interesting, not to say frisky, but no good purpose would now be served by recalling them, dealing as they did with most of the country-side in Yorkshire and, indeed, elsewhere also.

But to return to my youth. My governess undoubtedly found me a tiresome child, and regarded me with despair. Once when my sister and I had been told to prepare a map of Europe for the following morning, and mine was presented for criticism, I was told I must do it again. My sister then presented hers. There was a silence for a moment, and I looked up to see what was the cause. Our governess was pointing her finger to some sketches down the side of the map.

and then asked, ** And pray, what may this be ? '' It looked Hke a big bird eating something. '' Oh/' repHed my sister, '* that is Turkey gobbhng up Greece/' The Turkey was a fairly faithful likeness of the farmyard bird, the Greece I did not recognise until it was further explained it was meant to represent a candle. Miss Chevallier, our governess at that time, unfortunately dechned to stay with '' such a little devil," the devil being poor me. She left in a cloud of dust one day after an encounter with me. It happened after this wise. I observed one evening at tea in the schoolroom that she was not eating anything, so out of the kindness of my heart, asked her if there was anything else she would like better than what had been provided. She said yes, she thought she would like an egg, so I got up from my seat preparing to ring the bell, but was seized by the arm and told to sit down again, it was not for little girls to ring bells, she was mistress in the schoolroom. This was a new rule to me, hitherto I had always rung the bell for anything I wanted, and I resented this new order, so escaped from her, making a dash for the bell. So did 'she. Between us, not only did we ring a peal that brought most of the household to see what had happened, but we pulled the bell bodily out of the wall, covering ourselves with plaster and torn paper, as well as the heavy bell-pull, which consisted of a wide piece of woolwork, over which I believe a great-grandmother had many times pricked her fingers. By this time my mother and several servants had come to see what was the matter. Miss Chevalher hastened to say it was all my fault and insubordination. This I did not consider fair, so without further parleying I dashed at her, pulled the glasses off her nose, threw them on the ground, broke a gold chain round her neck, and pulled off a black silk apron she always wore. Before I could cause her any disfigurement I was marched off protesting to my bedroom, and locked in, being told I should stay there until I was sorry. My contrition took some days before it shaped itself into a form possible of expression. I really was sorry about the gold chain, because it had belonged to her dead mother, so I said I was grieved about that, but for the rest it served her right, and she was a sneak, unjust and untruthful, after which I saw her no more. My sister took an early opportunity to creep in and tell me the omnibus we used for station work, and for shooting, had been ordered to take her to the station.

After being a prisoner for some days, and while everybody was out, my father came to see me, and said it made him miserable my being in trouble, and he wished I would say I was sorry. That settled it. I said I was sorry I had caused so much trouble and sent word to that effect to my mother, after which I was allowed to mix with the household once more.