Life and letters of Elizabeth L. Comstock

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Contents

CHAPTER. ,. X » . , PAOK.

II. Life as a Teacher— Marriage. 1829—1850 - 19

III. Residence in Bakewell, Derbyshire — Voyage to

Chapter I

ELIZABETH L. COMSTOCK was the daughter of William and Mary Rous,of Maidenhead, Berkshire, and was born there October 30th, 1815. She spent more than half her eventful life in America, and the last time she was in England, some nine or ten years ago, dictated the commencement of an autobiography, from which, and her numerous interesting letters, the following pages are compiled.

We will quote first from the former ; — It has been truly said that " Everyone's life is a Story " ; the first page of my life's story was opened at the little country town of Maidenhead, in Berkshire, England, six miles from the Royal Palace at Windsor. In the lull that succeeded the battle of Waterloo, when peace was restored to the European powers after their long conflict, and Napoleon's restless spirit was chafing on the rock-bound Island of St. Helena, my eyes opened upon my mother's face, beaming upon me with loving admiration. I was her first girl, the oldest of seven daughters — one little brother had preceded me, and another followed two years later, over whose birth I rejoiced exceedingly, and in my excess of love nearly ended his life prematurely. Wishing to share with him a rosy apple that had been given me, I went to his cradle and awoke him, saying " Baby, bite," and

Z LIFE AND LETTERS OP

tried to thrust it into his mouth ; and a few days later eame still nearer choking him with a tiny biscuit, which I succeeded in forcing in, thinl^ing it " just the size for baby to eat." Some exploits of this kind made my dear mother willing to spare me to a kind aunt, who kept a school near us, for two or three hours daily, so that my literary education may be said to have commenced very early, and also some more domestic lessons. In later life, I found some letters written from this aunt to my mother, acknowledging the receipt of a pocket-handkerchief, *' hemmed by little Elizabeth, at two years old," which she thought an extraordinary performance for so young a child. To this dear aunt I was indebted for instruction during several years of my childhood, until, when in my ninth year, on May 20th, 1824, I left home for the Friends* School, at Islington. My dear mother took me to London Yearly Meeting on the way, and there for the first time, I had the privilege of listening to that eminent servant of the Lord, Elizabeth Fry. I shall never forget the impression she made upon my young mind by her sweet voice, beautiful face, and her earnest pleading, as she spoke- of the prisoners, the suffering and the outcast. I was too young to understand one half of what she said, yet good seed was sown then and there, which led to active labour in after years. In the solemn silence that followed, after she took her seat, my childish heart was lifted in the prayer that I might grow as good as she was, and work in the same way. Although an unusually wild, wilful, and playful child, yet in my most sacred and secret moments, I returned to the prayer of my childhood,

and these impressions were deepened every time I had

the privilege of seeing and hearing her in after years.

Among the early and pleasant impressions of my

childhood, are my dear mother's teachings. On one

occasion, as I walked beside her along the banks of

the Thames, she talked to me about the rushing river

and the mighty ocean, the majestic trees and the lofty

hills, and the powerful Hand that made them all ; of

the sun, moon and stars, and the Heavenly Father,

" Who planned and formed, and still upholds a world So fraught with beauty, for rebellious man."

A sensation of awe, accompanied by something like discouragement, came into my childish heart, which I expressed to my mother with a fear that He would not care for a little child like me when He had so many great and wonderful things to attend to. She replied by lifting me up to see a bird's nest in the hedgerow, and explaining to me that God taught the little bird to build its nest, and to rear its young ; and then bade me pluck a little flower at my feet, and pointed out how nothing was so small as to escape His notice. Who gave the violet its life and nourishment, its fragrance and beauty.

My dear father took great delight in seating me on his knee, and talking to me of the truth and beauty of the distinguishing views of the Society of Friends, which he had joined when quite a young man. Many an hour I have listened with great interest as he told me of the cruel persecutions and great sufferings of the early Friends. He took pains to impress upon me the utter uselessness of water baptism and other outward ceremonies, telling me that he was once baptised with water, and was much disappointed to find that it did not wash away a single sin, or help him at all, in his efforts to be good. Of the horrors of war, he often spoke, and of the sinfulness and cruelty of slavery. His narrative of Leonard Fell was so vividly impressed upon my mind that I have never forgotten it. Leonard Fell, son of Margaret Fell, returning from meeting, one Sunday evening, and passing along a solitary road, was suddenly attacked by a highwayman, who seizing the bridle rein, demanded " Your money or your life." The young Friend immediately took oct his purse and handed it to him. As he did so, the robber, seeing seals and watch-chain, became bolder, and presenting his pistol again, demanded " Your watch or your life." The watch was immediately given him, and emboldened still more by this, and thinking he had only a coward to deal with, he became still bolder, and presenting his pistol again, said '*Your horse or your life." The young man dismounted, and the robber mounted the horse, and would have ridden off, but Leonard Fell took hold of the bridle rein, and began to expostulate with him on his sinful course, preaching to him, " of righteousness, temperance and judgment to come."

Again the pistol was presented, with the threat " If you do not stop, you are a dead man," but without paying any regard to his threat, our young Friend eontinued his earnest words of rebuke and exhortation, to the great amazement of the robber who exclaimed.

" I thought you were a coward — you gave me your money, your watch, and your horse to save your life, and now you have nothing more to lose, you risk it standing there, preaching to me." Leonard Fell's reply is worthy of being written in letters of gold.

"Though I would not risk my life to save my money, my watch, or my horse, yet I will risk it to save thy soul."

The man dropped his pistol, listened to the words of the young preacher, dismounted, restored all he had taken from him, and with tears of contrition confessed his sin, gave a sad detail of his past life, and the circumstances that had led him to such a course, how he had taken to drinking, lost his work and his character, and when going down hill, found everyone ready to give him a kick, so he had gone on from bad to worse, until with a sickly wife and starving family, he had been driven to his present life. Leonard Fell gave him his address and promised to provide him with work if he would forsake his evil ways and abstain from liquor. He did so and became a changed character, and henceforth lived industriously and honestly. How much better than if the life of either had been sacrificed !

In the conversations with my father, he would sometimes mention John Rous, one of the early champions of Truth, as held by Friends, who married Margaret Fell's daughter, and suffered such cruel persecution both in England and New England, having his right ear cut off for returning to the latter country after being banished. In Sewel's " History of Friends,"

we read of some of John Rous's family settling in Suffolk, which being my father's native county, he thought we were probably descended from the same good stock, and he imbued my young heart fully with the idea that such ancestry was infinitely superior to being able to prove our descent "From loins enthroned, and rulers of the earth."

The following is a story we heard from our dear father. We called it "The stolen hides." William Savery, an eminent preacher in the Society of Friends, was a tanner by trade, and known by all as ** one who walked humbly with his God." One night a quantity of hides were stolen from his tannery, and he had reason to believe that the thief was a quarrelsome, drunken neighbour, whom I will call John Smith. The next week, the following advertisement appeared in the county newspaper, " Whoever stole a quantity of hides on the fifth of the present month, is hereby informed that the owner has a sincere wish to be his friend. If poverty tempted him to this false step, the owner will keep the whole affair secret, and will gladly put him into the way of obtaining money by means more likely to bring him peace of mind."

This singular advertisement attracted considerable attention, but the culprit alone knew who had made the kind offer. When he read it, his heart melted within him, and he was filled with sorrow for what he had done. A few nights afterwards, as the tanner's family were retiring to rest, they heard a timid knock, and when the door was opened, there stood John Smith, with a load of hides on his shoulder. Without looking up he said, '* I have brought these back, Mr. Savery ; where shall I put them?" "Wait till I can get a lantern, and I will go to the barn with thee ; then perhaps thou wilt come in, and tell me how this happened. We will see what can be done for thee.** As soon as they were gone out, his wife prepared some ho( coffee, and placed pies and meat on the table. When they returned from the barn, she said, "Neighbour Smith, I thought some hot supper would be good for thee." He turned his back to her and did not speak. After leaning against the fire-place in silence a few moments, he said in a choked voice, " It is the first time I ever stole anything, and I have felt very bad about it. I am sure I didn't once think that I should ever come to what I am. But I took to drinking, and then to quarrelling. You are the first man that has ever offered me a helping hand. My wife is sickly^ and my children are starving. You have sent them many a meal, God bless you ; and yet I stole the hides. But I tell you the truth when I say it is the first time I was ever a thief."

" Let it be the last, my friend," replied William Savery. "The secret remains between ourselves. Thou art still young, and it is in thy power to make up for lost time. Promise me that thou wilt not drink any intoxicating liquor for a year, and I will employ thee to-morrow on good wages. Thy little boy can pick up stones. But eat now, and drink some hot coffee. Perhaps it will keep thee from craving anything stronger to-night. Doubtless thou wilt find it hard to abstain at first, but keep up a brave heart for the sake of thy wife and children, and it will soon become easy. When thou hast need of coffee, tell Mary and she will always give it thee."

The poor fellow tried to eat and drink, but the food seemed to choke him.

After vainly trying to compose his feelings, he bowed his head on the table and wept like a child. After a while he ate and drank, and his host parted from him for the night with the friendly words, " Try to do well John, and thou wilt always find a friend in me." . . . He entered into his employ the next day, and remained with him many years, a sober, honest, and faithful man. The secret of the theft was kept between them, but after John's death, William Savery sometimes told the story to show the power of that love for God and man which the Gospel of Christ inspires. Would to God that all men were as wise, as patient, as eager to do good, as much like Christ as he was I

One of my chief troubles at school arose from the difficulty of observing the very strict rules, a long list of which was read to us once a month; and here I will bear my testimony against the practice, then so sadly prevalent, of inflicting so many strict rules upon little children. One of them was " not a word to be spoken from the time the bell rang, at 7.30 p.m., for evening reading, until we came downstairs the next morning." This silent system I constantly transgressed, for it was impossible for a lively chatterbox of nine years to keep quiet so long. Monitors were appointed in every room to watch and inform against those who talked, and punisliment followed every transgression of the rule. This encouraged deceit, and led to artful modes of communication, which might elude the vigilance of the monitors. Another evil resulting from this Spartanlike code of laws was, that we no sooner heard them read, than we felt a desire to break them, proving that now, as in days of old, " sin cometh by the law."

Thus, the rule forbidding us to walk on a certain low wall, bounding our playground, at once suggested an inclination in my wayward spirit to mount the same, which I did, being the ringleader of a dozen more, who followed in my track. For this transgression, my ** disobedience received a just recompense of reward," for I was sentenced to solitary confinement until I had committed to memory the twelfth chapter of Romans. Another regulation was that no one should get on the top of a high chest of drawers, which stood in the girls' schoolroom. A few days after this was read, some of my schoolfellows dared me to climb it, and to prove to them my bravery, I soon accomplished the feat, and was seated on the top when governess suddenly made her appearance in the room, and, with look and tone of severe displeasure, ordered me to stay there until permitted to descend, and, in this uncomfortable and ignominious position, the gazing-stock of all who came into the room, I (justly) remained for an hour or two.

Another of these written laws forbade us to climb a fine chestnut tree at the lower end of the playground. No sooner was this new rule made, than a number of us, standing under the tree, gazed up with longing looks at the delightful seats among its umbrageous branches, that we could find for sitting sheltered from the sun, with our fancywork or our reading : enjoying this stolen pleasure, with several others, for many an hour have I sat, perusing " Pilgrim's Progress," the only interesting book that was allowed us, while one of our playfellows would watch and give notice of the approach of teachers, I taking my turn as sentinel. Thus were seeds of deceit broadly sown through our school by stringent rules.

Before going to school I had not been a dainty child, but soon after entering, received my first lesson in this direction. I was told that only the poor children liked the rice pudding, so with childish vanity, and a strong wish to support the respectability of my family, I soon took a dislike to it, and fancied I could not eat it. Sometimes the rice was boiled, and not very thoroughly, and I really found difficulty in swallowing the hard grains, and made a bargain with Hannah, the girl who sat opposite to me at table, that if she would eat my rice pudding for me at dinner, I would give her my treacle at supper. For a long time, this transaction was regularly carried on between us on a Tuesday. Should this ever meet her eye, she may accept my cordial thanks for the friendly help so long and constantly rendered, although on that day, I not only gave away my dinner, for we had only pudding, but had nothing but dry bread for supper. On one memorable occasion, Hannah being absent, and the pudding being worse than usual, very hard and dry, I could not eat it, and after one or two vain attempts to swallow it, was left behind with a good many others in like predicament. We were all required to clear our plates, and eat the whole of our first helping at dinner, whether palatable or not ; one of the teachers remaining with us. As she walked to and fro in the dining-room, I learned another lesson in artfulness from my next door neighbour, who, when the teacher's back was turned, deposited a spoonful at a time of her pudding into a handkerchief in her lap, which example I quickly followed, and soon the whole of my rice was transferred to my pocket from my plate, and I was allowed to leave the dining-room, the teacher supposing I had eaten it. At the playroom door, I was met by a merry group, waiting for me to join in their play, and in the noisy, eager game of " I spy," I forgot all about the contents of my pocket. In the afternoon school, the monitor called out my name for talking, and a bad mark was given me ; when I rose to make excuse that I was speaking necessarily, another mark was added. A feeling of indignation at the injustice, drew from me the exclamation, " It is a shame," whereupon, I was called from my seat, and made to stand at the teacher's table. A burst of tears led me to draw forth my pocket-handkerchief, when behold, in full view of the whole school, and all of the teachers, the rice rattled down, and scattered all over the open space between the teachers' tables and the girls' desks. A solemn silence followed, in which we might have heard a pin drop anywhere in the room. Happily 'for me, governess was absent from the room, receiving, in the teachers' parlour, a visit from the gentleman to whom she was engaged to be married. I stood all the afternoon, in great fear of her appearance, but, thanks to her friend, she did not come ; and after school, one of the girls swept up the rice, and threw it away.

One of our favourite amusements at School, was playing at meeting and preaching. I had the reputation of being an excellent mimic, but not quite so distinguished as my school-fellow Susan, who was particularly clever in imitating an aged minister, concerning whom, a tradition was current amongst us that he generally spoke from the text "Every tub must stand upon its own bottom." This preacher was very peculiar in his delivery, very tall and so upright as to lean a little backward, and bring his hands down with much emphasis upon the gallery-rail, in his loud vociferations. One evening we had retired earlier than usual, as cleaning was going on downstairs, and had received the permission, very seldom accorded, to converse in our bedrooms — the teacher's parting charge as she left the room was that we should not talk very loud, and only on serious subjects. This was followed on our part by a request that Susan would "give us a sermon, as there is no talk so serious as sermons." She at once complied, to our exceeding amusement, and as the tall girl standing up, just visible in the moonlight, brought down her hands upon the bed-rail, with the emphatic words, and the peculiar manner, " Every tub must stand upon its own bottom," a merry peal of laughter rang through the room, which reached the ears of the governess below, and "6.6.," "6.6.," (great governess)waswhisperedroundtheroom,while the sound of her advancing footsteps silenced the noise, so that when she entered our bedroom, Susan was in bed, and apparently fast asleep — and I was the only one whose laugh she detected. My risible faculties were of such a nature that it always seemed easier to me to laugh, and more difficult to stop laughing than to my school-fellows. Advancing to the foot of my bed, governess severely demanded "Elizabeth, what art thou laughing at?" If there was any character that was specially despised among us, it was a tell-tale, and therefore I was silent. After the question had been repeatedly asked, with no reply, I was ordered to get dressed and accompany governess downstairs. There I was again plied with questions, but assuming the heroic, I resolved that torture should not draw the cause of my laughter from me. After repeated severe reprimands, she seated me at the end of one of the school-room desks, and giving me a Bible, directed me to read in that and see how wicked it was to be making fun and amusing the girls when we ought to have been engaged in self-examination and devotion.

Instead of using my Bible for the purpose named, I began seeking for the text " Every tub must stand upon its own bottom," and trying to find out the circumstances under which it was first spoken — in vain — and have since learned that it is not a Scripture quotation at all, but the language that Bunyan puts into the mouth of one Presumption, whom he found sleeping at the foot of the Hill Difficulty.

"While thus engaged, the whole scene came so vividly before my mind that I again laughed aloud, to. the greats indignation of liiy governess who was within"'

hearing, and immediately came to me, reproved me severely and took the Bible away, saying I should not make fun of that any longer, put out the light, and left me alone in the darkness and in tears, to think over and repent of my sin. There I remained until ten o'clock at night. The following Saturday, in play afternoon, we amused ourselves with holding meeting. We selected for our meeting house, a shady spot beneath the spreading boughs of the chestnut tree, as far removed as possible from the teachers' parlour. Our favourite preacher was called upon to occupy the pulpit, which was an empty water-butt turned upside down. Susan mounted, and raising her hands and eyes, and elevating herself to her utmost height, as she in a very emphatic manner, brought down her hands on the bough of the tree which made an admirable gallery-rail, she gave out her text in a stentorian voice, ** Every tub must stand upon its own bottom." As she spoke, the head of the cask fell in, and she made a most ignominious descent into the depths below, leaving nothing visible but the upper part of her face — loud and long continued was the merry laughter that followed, but being holiday afternoon, no evil results ensued, or enquiries as to our laughter.

The next morning in meeting, unfortunately for me, as subsequent events proved, I occupied a very conspicuous place, the third seat from the aisle, and facing the ministers. We had sat some time in silence when the minister mentioned before rose, and with his peculiar manner, which we had seen so cleverly mimicked, gave out his text, ** Everv tub must stand upon its own bottom." This was too much for my risibility, and I laughed aloud. The preacher stood as if spell-bound ; had he been turned to stone he could not have been more silent. The solemnity that followed was awful to me, as the governess left her elevated seat at the side, came to me, and led me out of meeting, a poor little culprit of eleven years old, led down the aisle in solemn silence in the presence of about 300. I felt the disgrace most keenly, and as though I should never be able to lift up my head again as long as I lived. Without a word she led me back to the school. I thought that if she had scolded me, or shaken me, or even beaten me, I should have preferred it to this awful silence. She took me into the house, through the hall, up the stairs, and locked me up in a closet. After meeting, I was brought down into the teachers' parlour, where a solemn assembly was gathered — the two ministers, two elders, two of the committee, the superintendents, governess, and some of the teachers, numbering in all eighteen, like the judge and jury, and I the prisoner at the bar before them, trembling and weeping. The first command given me was, " Put thy hands behind thee," a thoughtless charge to give to a child with eyes swollen and red with weeping.

Next came the query, " What didst thou laugh at ? " It would have been impossible for me to explain had I been disposed to do so, and I had determined to implicate no one. Each of the members of this solemn conclave by turn addressed me ; I do not remember what one, two, three, and four said, but seventeen and eighteen will never be forgotten. Number seventeen charged me with being guilty of the same offence that the children of old committed who mocked Elisha, reminding me of the awful judgment that followed, when the bears came out of the wood and tare forty-two of them. I was so terrified that for a long while after I could seldom walk in a lonely place or through a wood without some fear that I might hear the growling of a bear. I knew enough of natural history to understand there were no wild bears in England, but did not know what miracle might be wrought for my especial case. The illustration was the more forcible, as glancing timidly at the preacher, I noticed his head was very bald. Number eighteen compared my fault to the sin of Belshazzar, in making light of sacred things, in allusion to his sacrilege in using the holy vessels of the Temple for his feast. In after years it has seemed to me that this was very far-fetched, but at that time I was much frightened, and when taken upstairs again and locked in the dark closet, I hardly dared open my eyes lest I should see a hand writing on the wall. I was condemned to solitary copfinement, with only bread and water for food, and what was worse still to me, to sit by governess in meeting until I would tell what made me laugh.

After sitting there three meeting-times, and having through excessive crying to go to bed with a bad headache directly I got back to the school, on the morning of the fourth meeting-day, Susan found me weeping at one of the schoolroom desks, and said to me, "Elizabeth Rous, I do think thou art a little simpleton." This

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I felt "the cruelest thrust of all." I turned upon her with indignation, saying that if I had told of her, she would have been in punishment instead of me. She replied, " Well, I do think thou art very foolish ; here for three meeting-days thou hast sat by governess, cried so much, and made thy head ache so badly, and had to go to bed directly after meeting. If thou hadst had a spark of sense, thou wouldst have had the headache before meeting. I am sure thou hast a bad headache now." Whereupon she took me to L.B., one of the kindest and most sympathizing of the teachers, and said to her, " This poor little thing has a dreadful headache, she was sobbing and crying all night, and kept all the girls in our room awake ; may she go and lie down ? " This appeal was rather a stretch of Susan's eloquence, but it met with a kind response from the teacher, who put her arm round me, and, with a loving kiss, said, " Poor child ! I am very sorry for her, but her case is under the care of the ministers and elders, and of the committee, and I don't dare to interfere."

L.B. kindly allowed me to go and lie down till meeting-time, and Susan saw me comfortably in bed, and left me with the charge, " Now, of course, thou won't hear the bell ring for meeting, and if anyone comes to call thee, snore loud enough to let them know thou art fast asleep." I must soon have fallen asleep, as the next sounds 1 heard were those of the girls taking their things off after meeting. Whether they forgot me, or relented and thought my punishment too severe, I know not, but this was the last 1 heard of the matter, and here ended my playing at meeting and preaching.