The Mother's Mistake

Preface

The story of tho Mother's Mistake was originally written under a strong impression that much may be clone by parents, and especially by mothers, in the way of assisting their children to discover and pursue that particular course of useful occupation for which, individually, they are by nature best adapted. The views of human nature here taken lead directly to the conclusion that all are not born alike, nor are capable of being made alike by the same educational treatment — that all have natural capabilities and tendencies, which render them, as entire beings, more capable of healthy development and successful action in one position than another ; and that to ignore these capabilities, and to run counter to these tendencies, may be to frustrate some of the highest purposes of human existence.

Another important fact which this little story has been written to set forth is, that children themselves are not always the best judges of the requirements of that profession or business to which their crude inclinations may tend; and that they are themselves still less capable of judging of their own natural adaptation for discharging such requirements aright. For the former, a large amount of experience and acquaintance with the world is necessary : for the latter, a knowledge of human nature — of the three great elements of character — the physical, the intellectual, and the moral, and of all these combined, such as no child was ever yet the master of, such as few indeed are ever instructed in ; but yet, such as must, by absolute necessity, be taken into account, in the great question of fitness or unfitness for filling any responsible situation in life. If, then, the child, even when verging upon manhood, is himself deficient VI

PREFACE.

. in the necessary requisites for arriving at the best decision on this most important point ; and if, as is frequently the ease, the father has found little opportunity for studying the elements of his child's individual character,— to whom is the appeal to be made for wisdom in counsel, and direction in ease of doubt? The step must be taken: the boy will grow into the man. Surely the mother, whose allotted post it was to watch the cradle of her child, and to take note of the awakening of every faculty which could give capability to action, or bias to inclination ; whose high privilege it was to mark the unfolding of every petal of her flower which should decide whether it would bloom most sweetly in the garden or the greenhouse, or every bud and branch of her noble tree which should indicate its appropriate place upon the hill or in the valley, — surely the mother might read, in this most interesting book of Nature, some at least of those great truths, which, when rightly con sidered, are of such essential value in directing to a course of usefulness as well as happiness. 'We know that, after all, there is no certainty — no human certainty — in these matters ; that even the best intentions and the most persevering efforts may fail us in effecting the purpose especially desired.

All, therefore, which in the following pages has been attempted, is to show the danger of maternal neglect in this most important portion of a mother's duty — the right knowledge of the true character of her child — a knowledge of its character, intellectually and morally, as close and as intimate as that physical knowlelge which is generally obtained in the nursery — a knowledge of its intellectual capabilities, which will direct to that position in life where the}' will be most fully developed and most usefully exercised; and a knowledge of its usual tendencies, which will direct to that position, from which the greatest amount of good, and consequently of happiness, will be the result. For a writer of many books, Mrs. Ellis is singularly unknown to the public in her personal character ; so much so, that she might almost be said scarcely to have made the acquaintance of a single reviewer, nor ever to have done anything to conciliate the favour of one.

How far this has been a disadvantage to her as an authoress, it might be difficult to decide ; but certainly, for one who values comfort more than distinction, and independence more than favour, a life of retirement and obscurity has much to recommend it in the way of enjoyment, and especially much to recommend it to a domestic woman. The early life and habits of all writers have undoubtedly much to do with the general style of their works. That of Mrs. Ellis was spent entirely in the country, and in a peculiarly independent manner. Her affections through a motherless girlhood were drawn out by nature, rather than society. Her love of animals, and her power of winning them into companionship, was extraordinary. Her delight, too, in all that was lovely or subhme in scenery, led her often into habits of solitary musing, which her subsequent high sense of practical duty had much difficulty in correcting.

It is probably owing to causes of this nature, as well as a naturally imaginative temperament, that Mrs. Ellis has been able to blend, in no very ordinary manner, a certain amount of romance with her reality ; or, in other words, an intense love of art and appreciation of beauty, with considerable practical usefulness. In her native home, situated on the eastern coast of Yorkshire, Mrs. Ellis, then Miss Sarah Stickney, first formed the project of writing a series of simple stories for the purpose of illustrating certain moral truths, supposed by her to be of great importance to the well-being of society. These stones, under the general title of "Pictures of Private Life,1' appeared in three volumes, at intervals of about one year, and were published by Messrs. Smith and Elder, to whom the writer was introduced by her highly valued friend, Thomas Pringle, the noble and enterprising advocate of the rights of South Africa.

At his hospitable house at Highgate, Miss Sarah Stickney first became acquainted with the literary circle of which he formed the most valued link. But losing him, she lost all desire to seek any other literary association; and, retiring to her home in the north, she there wrote, first the genuine work of her heart, "The Poetry of Life," a series of essays, in two volumes ; and next after that, a story, in three volumes, entitled, " Home ; or, the Iron Rule." Mrs. Ellis's next work — and the first after her marriage with the Rev. William Ellis — was that by which she is best known as a writer, " The Women of England." A fact, perhaps more curious than uncommon, is worthy of observation in connection with this volume. Mrs. Ellis has often been heard to say, that of all she ever wrote, this work had least to do with her own private feelings, cost her the least thought, and was committed to the printer's hands with the least care about its failure or success ; while, on the other hand, those works upon which she bestowed the most feeling, thought, and consequent anxiety — those which she sent forth with something like the love of a mother for a favourite child — were the least esteemed by the public ; or, at all events, were the most limited in their circulation.

These were, " The Poetry of Life ; " and, at a much later period, " Prevention better than Cure." In all probability the publishers of " The Women of England " expected as little from the work as the author herself did. The copyright was sold for a comparatively trifling sum. The work had a rapid and extensive sale. Its title was a happy one ; and, beyond this, it had the good fortune to embody in its pages what many people had been thinking, and were thinking at the time, without finding expression for. In considering the wonderful success of this very simple work, Mrs. Ellis has often been heard to express the opinion, that any writer of common sense who is fortunate enough to discover aud take up the subject about which many minds have felt perhaps, rather than thought, may easily write a book that will pass through eighteen or twenty editions, provided only they are lucky in the title, and, above all, are first in the field.

To come afterwards into the same field, even with a tenfold amount of skill and talent, is a very different affair. Mrs. Ellis made the experiment with three other volumes on the Mothers, Wives, and Daughters of England ; but these, though very superior in some respects and tolerably successful, never attained the popularity of the first. Soon after the " Women of England" appeared, Mrs. Ellis commenced a series of stories under the title of " Family Secrets." These were published in monthly numbers, and found a very extensive sale. They were written with the view of introducing the subject of temperance, on which the author was much interested, to a class of readers which at that time the great question of total abstinence had scarcely reached; and for all the repug nance — and it was not a little — which attended both the writing and the first issue of these stories, the author was more than rewarded by the tokens of sympathy which attended their reception in various quarters, as well as by the incalculably large number of copies that were sold.

" The Sons of the Soil," a poem descriptive of rural life and scenery, appeared about the same time ; aud subsequently, while residing in the South of France, " Summer and Winter in the Pyrenees." During this period Mrs. Ellis edited for many years " The Juvenile Scrap-Book ;" and for some time " The Drawiug-Room Scrap-Book." At a later period, she wrote two other stories in monthly numbers. The first of these was entitled " Social Distinctions;" the second, "Self-Deception." Altoa-ethcr, Mrs. Ellis has written more books than it would be easv for an ordinary memory to recollect. She has generally laboured with a sound moral aim ; and that she has laboured earnestly too, her enemies, if she has any, would be candid enough to admit. At the same time, however, it must be allowed that so much writing, without any very extensive range of sub jects, must almost necessarily lead to repeating truisms.

This, however, is in some measure atoned for by untiring ingenuity of invention, and by considerable knowledge of human character, which enables her to impart an air of reality and truth to her descriptions. X The very nature of some of Mrs. Ellis's works, specifying as they do the most minute and practical of social and domestic duties, has also involved her in a somewhat dictatorial style of writing, which has sometimes given offence where she would have been much more happy to conciliate ; drawing, very naturally, upon herself a spirit of retort, and inquiry as to how far, in her own habits, she acts out what she preaches to others. Inquiries of this nature Mrs. Ellis has . been able to endure with considerable composure, her life being, as already stated, one of a peculiarly domestic nature; so much so, that to all who knew her best, and especially to herself, her books are but as an accident in her experience, having very little to do with the chief objects of her life.

One of these is worthy of mention here, as affording much practical data on which to found her opinions of the moral wants of human nature, and the necessary training of youth in a manner calculated to supply those wants. For many years past Mrs. Ellis, in connection with an intimate friend, has had the superintendence of a school for young ladies ; and in the general plans and conduct of this school, many of her ideas of the qualifications necessary for an honourable, useful, and happy female character, are attempted to be carried out. How far this attempt has been productive of the results so much to be desired, the next generation of Englishwomen will be better able to say than those of the present. and the truly happy couple had seated themselves in an apartment where no thing seemed left for the most fastidious taste to desire.

It was not that the residence was particularly spacious or magnificent. If the truth must be told, it was only a suburban villa, very similar to hundreds of what are called genteel residences in the vicinity of London ; but it was so perfect in its furniture and general equipments, all having been ar ranged in reference to harmony, rather than splendour — to comfort, rather than display, — that the young wife must have been deficient in seeling, as well as in taste, not to have viewed with grateful satisfaction the cheerful welcome afforded by such a home. Those who imagine that a bride should only be accounted happy whose home is a baronial mansion, surrounded by parks and pleasure-grounds, will probably smile at the idea of our little villa being the scene of any kind of enjoyment worth writing about ; and yet, even this snug residence had its fountain, terrace, and portico ; its grassy lawn and winding walks; its bower, and its weeping willow ; all as picturesque, in their way, as art could make them ; but all on a scale so minute as to render the ingenuity of the design as wonderful as the taste with which it was carried out. B THE MOTHER'S MISTAKE.