Womanhood and Marriage

Preface

THE glory of woman is her strength.

Strength means beauty; it means fitness for motherhood.

No vital, enduring people can be mothered by weak women.

The Nation cries out for vigorous motherhood.

The voice of war has awakened us.

Every atom of power is needed, and the strength and vitality of men and women is power beyond computation.

This is an age in which force counts as never before, and a weak woman is in the way. She is human wastage.

The author of this course believes that every woman can be a strong, splendid specimen of her kind. That the frailty, sickness and suffering so long associated with the feminine state can be avoided. That the weak can be made strong. That health of a high degree awaits very woman who is willing to strive for this glorious reward.

It is the duty of every woman to struggle for life in its truest sense. She should exult in the force that comes with a splendid physique.

The records of our health boards, hospitals, sanitariums, insane asylums reveal facts that are appalling. The physicians in charge of these great institutions admit, practically with one voice, that all the soul-torturing misery endured by the inmates might have been avoided.

This course has been prepared to point the way to health of a high degree. To those who need the information contained herein, its value cannot be estimated. To those who are merely curious, it is worth nothing. Prudery has shrouded the truths of sex in a vulgar mystery. It has even made a jest of the sacred mysteries of motherhood. It is pruriency of this sort that this book attempts to eliminate.

The truth is mighty. Armed with the facts contained within these pages, a woman can protect herself against many of life's greatest dangers. Guiding her steps by the light of knowledge she can avoid the evils which have blasted the lives of so many of her sisters.

We know that our efforts may be misunderstood. The truths that we present may be misconstrued. As Senator Chamberlain, referring to the prudery that has tainted this generation, says, "it is practically impossible to get publicity for the truth, because of the squeamish attitude of the people, who imagine that the subject ought to be ignored." Though the Senator referred specifically to the appalling records of venereal disease among the men accepted for the Army, his statement might have been made with equal truth of every phase of the subject of sex.

We fully realize the condition. We know that some persons can even distort that great book, the Bible, and make its meaning salacious and erotic. But we believe there are enough people who desire to know the truth about sex to justify the presentation of this course. Those who are looking for the salacious will be keenly disappointed in it.

There is no veneer on the important facts presented herein. The subject demands plain talk. And yet, the reader will find the work so carefully written that it will give no cause for offense to the most fastidious.

In the preparation of this course, various experts, medical and other, have assisted. To those who have rendered this valuable aid, the author desires to extend his sincere thanks.

May the thoughts contained herein carry a message to all suffering women. May they guide the footsteps of the immature into the fullness of womanhood. May the weak find in these pages the knowledge that will lead them to strength and health, and may those who already enjoy superlative vigor find information that will enable them to retain this priceless possession to life's last days. Such is the hope of the author.

Chapter 1

Womanhood and Marriage

THE perfect woman has never been revealed. For this reason, perfection in womanhood must ever remain a theme of absorbing interest.

Perfection does not necessarily mean completeness. With the continued development of the human spirit, there must come increasing power to perceive beauties of mind and heart, and these will be expressed through a body of greater beauty. Perfection, then, should be looked upon as being rather a matter of proportion. The woman who is well developed on all sides of her nature—physically, mentally and spiritually—may be looked upon as having attained to a degree of perfection. From this point she may advance to greater realization of that ultimate beauty which all women were intended to embody.

To form for ourselves, however, an idea of womanhood we must have some understanding of the place which woman is intended to fill in the universe. The meaning of womanhood, the wonderful capacities that lie hidden within it, form an inspiring subject of study for every woman, young or old.

Woman holds a distinct place in the universal life. She is not meant to be merely an echo of man. She is meant to be herself, a distinctive being, with her own place to fill and her own work to accomplish. Neither is she necessarily what man has pictured her as being. Male poets, painters, sculptors, novelists, all have endeavored to portray the ideal woman as she appeared to them, or as it seemed to them she should be. Yet it would hardly be safe for her to model herself upon these portrayals; she must discover for herself the ideal she was intended to realize.

We have heard many discussions in the past as to whether woman is inferior or superior to man. Discussions on this theme are futile. The two can never be compared, because they are absolutely distinct. The only question we have a right to ask is whether the destiny of each has been successfully fulfilled.

The study of self is indeed a fascinating one. The endeavor to discover just what she was sent into this world for, what are the characteristics that belong most distinctively to her, and just what attributes she is best fitted to express in the highest degree, must be of interest to every thoughful woman.

When we look about us for the form of self-expression which belongs distinctively to woman, we find that it is motherhood which belongs to her alone. She is the mother of the race, and in this function we shall find embodied her supreme power.

This does not mean that every woman was necessarily intended to be a physical mother. It does mean, however, that through a study of motherhood we can come to an understanding of woman's distinctive capacities and powers.

The mother nourishes the life of her offspring. Woman, therefore, is the nourisher of the race. This means that she not alone provides the health and the strength of those dependent upon her in a physical sense, but that she is also a source of inspiration to them mentally. She gives encouragement to those struggling to express the thoughts that are born within them; many times by her presence she inspires to greater mental activity. The great personalities of the past have borne witness to the inspiration they have derived from the women with whom they have come in contact.

It is not only her own children whose better impulses are nourished by the sunshine of her smile; all who come near her feel the heartening effect of her personality, and are better because they have come within the sphere of her influence.

This is the ideal of womanhood which springs from a study of her individual place in the plan of life. But fully to realize this wonderful ideal, the woman must first of all find herself. She must take time to think about herself and what she was intended to be. She must find out her shortcomings and set herself resolutely to work to master her weaknesses. She cannot afford to be weak, because she must be the source of strength for others.

She must do more, however, than find herself. She must learn to glory in her womanly nature, and through this to make the most of what has lain deeply hidden within her. It is only by making the most of herself that she can give the most to the world, and this must ever be her aim.

In these times of deep trouble woman is being revealed to herself. Now, as never before, the obligation rests upon her to arouse herself, and in the full consciousness of her strength and of the responsibilities which are hers, to rise to heights of world service such as she has never known before.

Chapter 2

SEX is a subject women have been very reluctant to discuss or even to read about. For generations they have been made to feel that sex was something of which they should know nothing. While they were forced to admit that their womanhood was an expression of sex, they put it out of their thoughts as much as possible. They seemed to prefer to think of themselves as sexless beings. They felt apologetic for being women, and in this unnatural attitude of suppression and denial of their sex, they lived and died without ever realizing the glorious possibilities of their distinctive natures.

Sex is not something which is localized in the human body, pertaining only to a certain set of organs. Sex is a universal principle which expresses itself in all but the very lowest forms of life. It permeates every atom of the physical structure, so that each tiny cell expresses either masculinity or femininity.

It is as though Mother Nature had divided the living material in the universe into two portions, and bidden one-half to specialize in certain characteristics, the other half to specialize in other characteristics, and this work of specialization has gone on progressively with the evolution of high forms of life and will continue to do so as long as the world lasts.

It is to this division of the life-force into two expressions that we owe the greatest blessings of our existence. All of the sweetest and most beautiful relationships of life spring from this division of the human race into halves, which come together again to make a perfect whole. The relation of husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters and relatives of all degree, of friend with friend, all find their root in this universal principle of sex. Not only beauty of soul, but much of the beauty of the universe springs from this same great principle. The blossoms of flower and shrub and tree are the expressions of sex in plant life. The coloring of the wings of the bird and the song that he sings are expressions of the same great force. The effort of the lower forms of life to provide nourishment for their offspring furnishes us with the greater part of our food—our grains, tubers and bulbs, our milk and eggs. Sex, we must understand, is but the means chosen whereby life may be continued upon the earth. Through the mating of male and female all the great varieties of life have been made possible.

When we comprehend the universal nature of sex and the immeasurable blessings which it brings us, we perceive at once how absurd it is that any one should be reluctant to consider so vital a subject. Sex in itself is pure, and a proper understanding of it is ennobling. Those who shrink from it show by so doing that they have not yet gained a true conception of the nature of sex and its place in life. Without doubt the ignorance which has been fostered by this disinclination to discuss the subject has resulted in more human suffering, wrong-doing and tragedy than could ever be measured.

Fortunately for us, the day of prudery is passed. There are not many today who feel it necessary to make known their disapproval of anything connected with sex, still less to parade their ignorance, in order to prove their own superior state of morals. Today we dare to look the facts of life in the face and to show our interest in everything that pertains to the human race, realizing that knowledge is always freedom and power.

The sacredness of the function of reproduction must be realized by all, for from it springs human life. Everything connected with the bestowal of life ought to be pure and uplifting. Whatever is connected with the subject that is impure must spring from the misuse or misconception, of the divine creative powers which have been bestowed upon us.

The instinct to see one's life reproduced in other human lives must always be in its essence ennobling. This instinct to continue the life of the race runs directly contrary to the instinct for self-preservation. The bestowal of life means giving up a part of the life of the individual. It is, therefore, essentially an expression of the desire for self-sacrifice and it entails, in the majority of instances, a continuance in the giving of self through the greater part of life.

The study of the life-giving function of the body, therefore, if undertaken with the desire to learn that which will enable one to render greater service to the world than would otherwise be possible, must always be an uplifting one. That it calls for the contemplation of physical details should not distress us, because the body has been truly called "the Temple of God." It is the instrument by which we, as spiritual beings, are able to express ourselves upon this physical plane. To be truly successful in our lives here, we need to come into an understanding of the laws governing this body, in order that we may make it our efficient instrument of expression.

Every part of the body is pure and clean, and worthy of all reverence. That we have not always realized this has been due in large part to the misuse of the bodily functions. Indecency is a question of behavior, and does not pertain to the body itself. Impurity belongs, not to sex, but to the mind of the individual. It has been well said that "to the pure all things are pure." Even in contemplating wrong-doing, we can realize that it is but the misuse of that which in its normal use is right and beautiful. It is only of the abuse of a function of which anyone need feel ashamed.

The feeling of shame once so commonly associated with the subject of sex has been due almost entirely to ignorance. With no understanding of sex in the normal, and seeing only the terrible consequences of this power when directed solely to selfish gratification, it is no wonder that the average individual has come to look upon the whole subject with a feeling of disgust. It is not surprising that parents have been horrified at the suggestion that they should talk with their children upon the subject of sex, because to them that meant discussing certain sins of the human race with their terrible consequences. The distinction between the use and misuse of these powers, however, is now so clearly understood that today it is possible to suggest that one should study the subject of sex without immediately arousing an attitude of mental resistance and condemnation upon the part of one's hearers.

Chapter 3

MEN have always taken pride in their virile powers. To be virile means to be strongly sexed, and that does not mean simply to have well-developed sex organs. It means that every particle of the body feels strongly the impulse of masculinity. Women should learn to rejoice also in being strongly sexed, which means that every particle of their bodies feels the characteristic impulse of femininity.

The masculine impulse is positive, active, destructive. The feminine impulse is passive, negative and constructive. These two, therefore, supplement each other, and both are essential to a fully developed, well balanced racial life. Here is found the strongest possible reason for joint responsibilities between man and woman in the government of a community or a nation. Neither one of these two beings can fill the place of the other, and both are equally essential to a well-rounded, perfectly balanced national life.

Thus we see that sex holds a more important place in life than has been imagined. We know today, also, that the sex organs fulfill a much more important function in the life of the individual than has hitherto been supposed. Indications of the importance of these organs have not been lacking. Take, for instance, the fact that if the sex organs of animals are removed at an early age, the animal will not develop the qualities which belong distinctively to its sex. The patient horse lacks the fire and energy of the proud stallion. The plodding ox forms a marked contrast to the fiery bull. Similar examples have not been lacking in human life, for in earlier ages boys were sometimes deprived of these organs and grew up into effeminate creatures, lacking all manly qualities, both physical and mental. Elsewhere I have described the condition of such an unfortunate individual in the following words: "His high-pitched, chilish voice, undeveloped body, physical weakness, lack of vital resistance and short life, all indicate clearly the importance of the glands of which he has been deprived. The beard does not grow, as in the case of the virile man. The voice does not change. The muscles lack tenacity and firmness and the nerves are weak—all of these conditions indicating a lack of general constitutional vigor due to the loss of the internal secretion, the substance normally supplied to the living fabric by the testicles. And what is perhaps of even greater importance, the effect upon the mind is just as serious as upon the body. He lacks courage, he lacks ambition, he lacks every mental quality that distinguishes men of great virility."

Without any doubt, the removal of the sex organs in early youth would have a corresponding effect upon the development of the young girl. She would lack those qualities which are essentially womanly, and would therefore lose that which makes her of greatest value to the community.

The importance of the sex organs in the development of the individual has been scientifically explained only within comparatively recent times. It is now known that as early as at ten years of age, these organs begin to secrete a fluid which is taken up by the blood and carried to every part of the organism. This wonderful internal secretion then begins its marvelous work of making over the entire body. Every bone, muscle, nerve and organ feels the effect of the magical fluid, and it is not long before we see the external manifestation of what has been going on within the organism. It is this internal secretion which causes the young girl to lose all her angularities and to take on the soft and gracious curves of womanhood. It is this which gives an added lustre to her hair, a clearer color to her cheek, and a brighter light to her eye. Thus we see that the beauty which forms so large a part of woman's charm is directly due to the activity of these creative organs in their process of development, and we begin to realize that woman, as an individual, owes a debt of gratitude to these racial powers.

With the development of the body comes also an unfoldment of the mind. New emotions begin to make themselves felt, and impulses toward self-sacrifice in the service of others may be observed. All these are expressions of sex. The beautiful maternal instinct which causes women to mother all with whom they come in contact gains an added impetus at this time. Think what it would mean to the girl and to others if she were to be deprived in any way of this life-giving impulse.

It is not alone through the physical operation which has been suggested that such a catastrophe may come about. There are wrong habits which a girl may acquire through ignorance which may bring about a somewhat similar condition. Any abuse of the sex organs will tend to impair their power. It is in order to prevent such catastrophes that instruction in these matters should be given to girls and young women. This subject of abuses will be considered more fully later on.

By teaching our girls to be ashamed of their womanliness and to suppress their higher sex impulses, we may be crushing out the most admirable qualities which have been bestowed upon them. Rather should we teach them the true meaning of the racial impulse, that they may be awakened to equip themselves to be true mothers of the race, spiritually as well as physically.

In order to develop to the highest degree the physical and mental powers it is necessary to live a normal life, and that includes the sex life. This is especially important in youth, for it is in this early period of life that we are laying the foundation, not only of our own future life, but of the lives of those who shall come after us. The de- velopment of the highest qualities of soul, mind and body depends in very large degree upon the normal unfoldment of the sex powers.

It is especially important that young women should cast aside the reluctance which they may have felt for a study of this subject, and come into a full comprehension of what sex normally means in human life. They have gone so far, many of them, in their dislike for everything connected with sex, that they have even succeeded in suppressing many of the natural instincts and impulses of their own hearts. They have for this reason cut themselves off from much that would give them happiness and pleasure throughout their whole lives, and would enable them to be of infinitely greater service to the community in which they live.

Women must learn to rejoice in their womanhood and to make the most of it, in order that they may make their especial contribution to the life of the world. If they do not bring to the community that which belongs distinctively to them as woman, it will suffer for lack of that which no one else can give.

Chapter 4

IT is well for every young woman to sit down and frankly face the question, "Am I a complete woman?" We are too apt to take ourselves for granted. We are not quite willing to admit the unpleasant truth of our own shortcomings. Yet the process need not be so disagreeable a one as we may at first imagine; for, having discovered wherein we are lacking, we can, if we have the requisite will power, set ourselves definitely to work at making good that lack. With determination and persistency, we can overcome almost any defect. And as we observe our own growth and development, we will enjoy that triumphant exhilaration which comes from getting the mastery over an obstacle.

Suppose you take a quiet hour to sit down and look yourself over critically. Take a piece of paper, if you feel so inclined, and make two columns, one headed STRONG POINTS, the other one WEAK POINTS. Do not be afraid to write down the truth as you see it. Put aside false modesty, and say all the good things you can about yourself. But, on the other hand, be equally frank to admit your faults.

It may be that you are one who has abounding physical vitality and who follows her natural bent in that direction to the detriment of her mental development. You are physically active, perhaps, but mentally lazy. The physical activity is commendable, but you must see to it that you direct more of the force gained through physical exercise into mental channels, until you bring up that part of your nature to the same degree of development as the other.

It is more likely, however, that exactly the reverse is the case. Although the day of anemic heroines has passed and our young girls no longer feel it necessary to eat chalk and other detrimental substances in order to give their complexions an interesting degree of pallor, nevertheless too many of the young girls of the day are following their ambitions in the mental realm to the detriment of their physical development. The girl who stands high in her classes is praised by her teachers and her parents, and feels herself to be occupying an eminence of achievement. Too often, however, she has gained this position by the sacrifice of her physical activity. She is alive, but she does not possess overflowing vitality, a superabundance of energy which bubbles over in good spirits and bright cheer that is a source of inspiration to all about her. Health and strength and good spirits are essential to successful living, and for the sake of her future happiness, every girl should conserve these priceless possessions. Moreover, these are the foundations of beauty and charm. They are, therefore, essential to the completeness of every woman.

So, if you have a bad complexion, or pimples, round shoulders and a hollow chest, a lackadaisical manner, or an ungraceful gait, write them all down in the column of your defects and then set to work to find out how to overcome them. It only requires a little persistency, for almost every defect which you may discover can be overcome by proper methods of living and the right kind of breathing and exercise. And who would not devote herself to such simple efforts each. day for the sake of becoming a complete woman?

There are other points to be considered, however, in this study of yourself. The young woman who feels that she does not want to marry, because of the work which that may entail and the self-sacrifice which may be involved, is not a complete woman. She is lacking in the very essentials of womanliness. Responsibilities are a joy to one who has the courage to meet them, and the greatest pleasure in the world comes through sacrificing oneself for those whom one loves.

So far does this fear of an undue amount of labor affect some women, that they are willing to forego the greatest blessing of all, motherhood, in order to escape the additional burdens which it may bring to them. Can such claim to be complete women? They do not know the joys of which they are depriving themselves. Neither do they realize how unnatural is their state of mind and heart. There are no exercises of the body to be prescribed for those who have reached this supreme state of selfishness. They may serve as a warning, however, to the younger women who may be in danger of placing their own personal ease above the normal joys of life. If, as you closely scan your own thoughts and feelings, you find deep hidden within yourself an impulse, or even the beginning of an impulse, in this direction, root it out with a ruthless hand, knowing that that way lies the ultimate destruction of the very highest and best of your womanly nature.

The normal woman is not afraid of responsibilities. Work is to her a joy, because she has the strength and vigor to accomplish with ease whatever lies before her. Her family cares have, from the beginning of time, been the means of woman's unfoldment, and of the development of the human race. The girl who finds herself disinclined to fulfill her daily duties should begin at once a course of vigorous exercise to build up her physical health. Once she has overflowing vitality, she will find pleasure in everything that she has to do. With deep breathing and outdoor exercising, she will find the normal instincts of womanhood return to her. Life with its manifold opportunities will beckon to her. She will follow gladly, rejoicing in the knowledge of her own completeness, and ready for the duties that may come to her through the fulfillment of her womanly functions.

Chapter 5

PROBABLY a good many of my readers, when the above heading catches their eye, will feel inclined to say, as did the old farmer looking at a circus poster of a two-headed calf, "There ain't no such critter." True it is that today we hear almost solely about single women, and even the term "spinster" carries with it no such suggestion of contempt as that embodied in the two words, "old maid."

Some few years ago the phrase, "bachelor girl," was a popular one, and we still have her with us, though the name is less used. The bachelor girl is an unmarried woman, of almost any age, who has gone out into the world of business and is leading her own independent, and generally very efficient, life. She carries with her no suggestion of failure. No one could ever think of her as a remnant on life's bargain counter. She has remained unmarried because no man came into her circle of friends who possessed enough attractions to woo her from a life of "single blessedness." It would sometimes seem to be something of a reflection upon the men of the present time, when one looks over the women who would have made such splendid mothers, but who have persistently remained outside of the bonds of matrimony. The bachelor girl has managed to escape the narrow life and weazened existence of the traditional old maid; but has she after all nothing to regret?

There are many allurements in the single life. There is, for example, the greater freedom which comes to one who has no one's needs or desires to consider but her own. She can live her own life, which is what so many of us clamor for in the early years of adolescence. She is free to let her ambitions have full sway, and she may, therefore, achieve success—in some instances a noteworthy one. Yet we may ask ourselves, Is she always satisfied?

While she is young and everything comes her way, she is too busy climbing from one point to the next on life's ladder to ask herself this question. When she reaches middle life and finds that she has achieved all that she dreamed of, and possible more, there is little room for this question. But as the shadows of life begin to gather around her, and she finds herself left more and more alone because those of her own generation are silently departing to other shores, more and more frequently must the question return to her, "Is this all? Has it been worth while?"