Letters to Mothers

Front matter

TO

BY

MRS. L. H. SIGOURNEY.

Adverts

MRS. SIGOURNEY'S LETTERS TO MOTHERS.

From the Daily Courant, Hartford, Conn.

"Mrs. Sigourney has published a new work, under the title of 'Letters to Mothers.' The sentiments and principles inculcated in these letters, like everything from the pen of this amiable, intelligent, and excellent woman, are practical, useful, and imbued with the spirit of pure morality and elevated piety. Mrs. Sigourney's standard is found in the Bible. All her didactic works have an immediate reference to the religion of the Bible; and none of her writings disclose a sentiment or a doctrine that is not founded upon the immoveable basis of genuine Christianity. We have no doubt that this will prove to be one of the most popular of her works.".

From the Connecticut Observer, Hartford.

Letters to Mothers,' by Mrs. Sigourney, is, if we mistake not, destined to be one of the most useful, as it is one of the best written and most interesting productions of the accomplished author. It is a gift to mothers, which they cannot fail to appreciate, and for which they will not be slow to be grateful. While its subjects are treated in a manner intelligible to readers of every class, the polished style, the classical allusions, and the rich sentiments will win its way to families of the highest intelligence and refinement; and in many such circles will diffuse a deep feeling of responsibility, and a strong regard to moral cultivation."

From the New-York American.

"The last two productions of Mrs. Sigourney's pen have probably been the most useful productions of the day, and will retain their rank among the chosen volumes of every domestic library, perpetuating the virtue which cherishes them. The great charm of these writings is, that while others are striving to fill the head with new ideas, by familiar treatises on subjects in themselves abstruse, these attempt, with success, the culture of the heart. We cannot too earnestly recommend to mothers eagerly to avail themselves of the privilege of reading and enjoying these letters."

From the Churchman, New-York.

"Several books on education have lately issued from the press, none of which will be read by mothers with as much pleasure as this volume of Letters, peculiarly addressed to them. The author writes as one who loves her subject, and appreciates its importance; and she has enlivened her work with such a variety of illustration as could flow only from a well-stored and accomplished mind. There are few, we believe, of that class of readers for whom the work is especially designed, that may not receive from it valuable hints, be impressed by it with a higher sense of their responsibilities, and animated, at the same time, in the discharge of them."

From the New-Yorker.

"The 'Letters to Mothers,' just published, we must regard as one of the noblest, if not the most aspiring effort, of Mrs. Sigourney's gifted mind. Its lessons seem to come directly from the heart, and no mother can peruse them without being deeply affected, as well as edified. They overflow with genuine poetry and Christian love. Not alone by mothers, they may be read by children also, with great interest and profit; and every pure mind will delight in their fair pages of blended anecdote and precept. Need we urge that this work should be everywhere diffused and studied?"

From the Boston Weekly Magazine.

"Mrs. Sigourney's 'Letters to Mothers' present, in a most attractive form, the privileges and enjoyments, the duties, cares, and consolations of maternal life. This excellent book cannot be read without profit by any one who is in any way concerned in the management of children. A vein of deep, strong feeling runs through the work, giving it an interest which it could not otherwise possess. The affectionate mother, the humble Christian, the lofty aspirations of a spirit accustomed to look beyond the present scene, are everywhere observable, while a rich and even poetic flow of diction gives vigour and zest to the style."

From the United States Gazette, Philadelphia.

"It is delightful, among the numerous volumes which the press is daily and almost hourly pouring forth, to meet occasionally with works emanating from the holy principle of rendering the human family wiser and better, works which cannot be read by young or old without profit. Of this class, we have gone through, with singular pleasure, the book whose title is prefixed to this article. It contains as great a mass of excellence, with as little alloy, as probably any book extant, and is from the pen of the amiable Mrs. Sigourney, whose talents have been for years devoted to the best of all purposes, the promotion of human virtue, and its concomitant, human happpiness. No woman, married or single, ought to be without a copy of this work, the rules of which would be an admirable guide in all the various situations in which her sex are placed."

From the Boston Recorder.

"Are there mothers among us who have not possessed themselves of this precious manual, and who still desire to be enlightened and guided in the discharge of their momentous duties? Let them take it; study it; pray over it; and store away its vast fund of invaluable maxims and hints in some department of the mind, whence they may be readily drawn forth for daily use. The writings of Mrs. Sigourney are of a class that needs no recommendation other than they carry along with them wherever they go. The gentle and elevated piety, that breathes from every page; the matured thought, that enriches every paragraph; the simplicity and beauty, that marks every sentence, give them a sort of fascination, which defies criticism, and allures the reader, irresistibly, from step to step, till at length he finds himself, too soon, at the point where his instructor bids him farewell. Let every father supply the mother of his children with this volume, and master its contents himself, that he may be prepared to discuss its main topics familiarly and thoroughly with the companion of his life, for their mutual benefit in the business common to them both, of educating their offspring for usefulness and heaven."

From the Christian Witness, Boston.

"The mothers of our country—our country itself—will be more indebted to Mrs. Sigourney for the truths which she has taught, for the interest which she will have awakened, in one of the most momentous of our concerns, than even for the rich beauties in which she has dressed, and by which she has enlivened her subject. If the book were in the hands of every American mother, and if its truths were carefully studied, cordially embraced, and faithfully practised, it would do more, the divinely instituted means of grace alone excepted, more, perhaps, than any one book, in elevating, improving, and blessing the whole population of our country. What other class of beings in the land, taken as a class, are of such unspeakable importance as that addressed by Mrs. Sigourney? What class wield so deep, so permanent, so universal an influence as they? And if, as a body, they were to embrace right views of their station, their responsibilities, and their influence, and faithfully to act in carrying those views into practice, what other class could do such widespread, such everlasting good, to the interests and to the institutions of the American people? Let the mothers of the land combine to do their duty to the bodies and souls of their immortal offspring, and they would be an unorganized association indeed, but, still, a more powerful association for good than any other in existence without a divine constitution. In truth, it would be a divinely constituted society, carrying in its very being the seal of a charter from God.

"We should like to enter into a more particular analysis of these 'Letters to Mothers.' But perhaps what we have said may be as effectual as such an analysis would be, in calling attention to its contents. We would commend the whole to faithful study. It abounds in distinct subjects of thought, many of which are as important to the father as to the mother, and all of which lead into the very depths, the secret plsces, the hidden springs of human interests and of human happiness."

LETTERS TO YOUNG LADIES. By Mrs. Sigourney. Seventh Edition.

Preface

PREFACE,

ADDRESSED TO MOTHERS.

You are sitting with your child in your arms. So am I. And I have never been as happy before. Have you? How this new affection seems to spread a soft, fresh green over the soul. Does not the whole heart blossom thick with plants of hope, sparkling with perpetual dew-drops? What a loss, had we passed through the world, without tasting this purest, most exquisite fount of love.

Now, how shall we bring up this babe, which Heaven bath lent us? Great need have we to repeat the question of the father of Samson, to the angel who announced his birth, "how shall we order the child?" Surely, we shall unite with fervour in his supplication to the Father of Angels, "teach us what we shall do unto the child?"

Are you a novice? I am one also. Let us learn together. The culture of young minds, in their more advanced stages, has indeed been entrusted to me, and I have loved the office. But never before, have I been so blest, as to nurture the infant, when as a germ quickened by Spring, it opens the folding-doors of its little heart, and puts forth the thought, the preference, the affection, like filmy radicles, or timid tendrils, seeking where to twine.

Ah! how much have we to learn, that we may bring this beautiful and mysterious creature, to the light of knowledge, the perfect bliss of immortality! Hath any being on earth, a charge more fearfully important, than that of the Mother? God help us to be faithful, in proportion to the immensity of our trust.

The soul, the soul of the babe, whose life is nourished by our own! Every trace that we grave upon it, will stand forth at the judgment, when the "books are opened." Every waste-place, which we leave through neglect, will frown upon us, as an abyss, when the mountains fall, and the skies shrivel like a scroll. Wherever we go, let us wear as a signet-ring, "the child! the child!" Amid all the musick of life, let this ever be the key-tone, "the soul of our child."

L. H. S.

Letter I

LETTERS TO MOTHERS.

LETTER I.

PRIVILEGES OF THE MOTHER.

My Friend, if in becoming a mother, you have reached the climax of your happiness, you have also taken a higher place in the scale of being. A most important part is allotted you, in the economy of the great human family. Look at the gradations of your way onward; your doll, your playmates, your lessons; perhaps to decorate a beautiful person; to study the art of pleasing; to exult in your own attractions; to feed on adulation; to wear the garland of love; and then to introduce into existence a being never to die; and to feel your highest, holiest energies enlisted to fit it for this world and the next.

No longer will you now live for self; no longer be noteless and unrecorded, passing away without name or memorial among the people. It can no more be reproachfully said of you, that "you lend all your graces to the grave, and keep no copy." "My cousin Mary of Scotland hath a fair son born unto her, and I am but a dead tree," said Queen Elizabeth, while the scowl of discontent darkened her brow. In bequeathing your own likeness to the world, you will naturally be anxious to array it in that beauty of virtue, which fades not at the touch of time. What a scope for your exertions, to render your representative, an honour to its parentage, and a blessing to its country.

You have gained an increase of power. The influence which is most truly valuable, is that of mind over mind. How entire and perfect is this dominion, over the unformed character of your infant. Write what you will, upon that printless tablet, with your wand of love. Hitherto, your influence over your dearest friend, your most submissive servant, has known bounds and obstructions. Now, you have over a new-born immortal, almost that degree of power which the mind exercises over the body, and which Aristotle compares to the "sway of a prince over a bond-man." The period of this influence must indeed pass away; but while it lasts, make good use of it.

Wise men have said, and the world begins to believe, that it is the province of woman to teach. You then, as a mother, are advanced to the head of that profession. I congratulate you. You hold that license which authorizes you to teach always. You have attained that degree in the College of Instruc- tion, by which your pupils are continually in your presence, receiving lessons whether you intend it or not, and if the voice of precept be silent, fashioning themselves on the model of your example. You cannot escape their imitation. You cannot prevent them from carrying into another generation, the stamp of those habits which they inherit from you. If you are thoughtless, or supine, an unborn race will be summoned as witnesses of your neglect.

Meantime, the mighty debt runs on, The dread account proceeds, And your not-doing is set down Among your darkest deeds."

In ancient times, the theory that the mother was designated by nature as an instructor, was sometimes admitted and illustrated. The philosopher Aristippus was the pupil of maternal precepts. Revered for his wisdom, he delighted in the appellation of Metrodidactos, the "taught of his mother."

"We are indebted," says Quintilian, "for the eloquence of the Gracchi, to their mother Cornelia," who, though qualified to give publick lectures in philosophy at Rome, did not forget to be the faithful teacher in private, of those, whom she so justly styled "her jewels." St. Jerome also bears similar testimony. "The eloquence of the Gracchi derived its perfection from the mother's elegance and purity of language."

Should heathen mothers be permitted to be more faithful in their duties, than those who are under bonds to the life-giving Gospel? "A good mother," says the eloquent L'Aime Martin, "will seize upon her child's heart, as her special field of activity. To be capable of this, is the great end of female education. I have shewn that no universal agent of civilization exists, but through mothers. Nature has placed in their hands, our infancy and youth. I have been among the first to declare the necessity of making them, by improved education, capable of fulfilling their natural mission. The love of God and man, is the basis of this system. In proportion as it prevails, national enmities will disappear, prejudices become extinguished, civilization spread itself far and wide, one great people cover the earth, and the reign of God be established. This is to be hastened, by the watchful care of mothers over their offspring, from the cradle upwards."

What an appeal to mothers! What an acknowledgement of the dignity of their office! The aid of the "weaker vessel," is now invoked by legislators and sages. It has been discovered that there are signs of disease in the body politick, which can be best allayed, by the subordination taught in families, and through her agency to whom is committed the "moulding of the whole mass of mind in its first formation."

Woman is surely more deeply indebted to the government that protects her, than man, who bears within his own person the elements of self-defence. But how shall her gratitude be best made an operative principle? Secluded as she wisely is, from any share in the administration of government, how shall her patriotism find legitimate exercise? The admixture of the female mind in the ferment of political ambition, would be neither safe, if it were permitted, nor to be desired, if it were safe. Nations who have encouraged it, have usually found their cabinet-councils perplexed by intrigue, or turbulent with contention. History has recorded instances, where the gentler sex have usurped the sceptre of the monarch, or invaded the province of the warrior. But we regard them either with amazement, as a planet rushing from its orbit, or with pity, as the lost Pleiad, forsaking its happy and brilliant sisterhood.

Still, patriotism is a virtue in our sex, and there is an office where it may be called into action, a privilege which the proudest peer might envy. It depends not on rank or wealth, the canvassings of party, or the fluctuations of the will of the people. Its throne is the heart, its revenue in Eternity. This office is that of maternal teacher. It is hers by hereditary right. Let her make it an inalienable possession. Nature invested her with it, when giving her the key of the infant soul, she bade her enter it through the affections. Her right to its first love, her intuitive discernment of its desires and impulses, her tact in detecting the minutest shades of temperament, her skill in forming the heart to her purpose, are proofs both of her prerogative, and of the Divine Source, whence it emanates.

It seems fully conceded, that the vital interests of our country may be aided by the zeal of mothers. Exposed as it is, to the influx of untutored foreigners, often unfit for its institutions, or adverse to their spirit, it seems to have been made a repository for the waste and refuse of other nations. To neutralize this mass, to rule its fermentations, to prevent it from becoming a lava-stream in the garden of liberty, and to purify it for those channels where the life-blood of the nation circulates, is a work of power and peril. The force of public opinion, or the terror of law, must hold in check these elements of danger, until Education can restore them to order and beauty. Insubordination, is becoming a prominent feature in some of our principal cities. Obedience in families, respect to magistrates, and love of country, should therefore be inculcated with increased energy, by those who have earliest access to the mind. A barrier to the torrent of corruption, and a guard over the strong-holds of knowledge and of virtue, may be placed by the mother, as she watches over her cradled son. Let her come forth with vigour and vigilance, at the call of her country, not like Boadicea in her chariot, but like the mother of Washington, feeling that the first lesson to every incipient ruler should be, "how to obey." The degree of her diligence in preparing her children to be good subjects of a just government, will be the true measure of her patriotism. While she labours to pour a pure and heavenly spirit into the hearts that open around her, she knows not but she may be appointed to rear some future statesman, for her nation's helm, or priest for the temple of Jehovah.

But a loftier ambition will inspire the christian mother, that of preparing "fellow-citizens for the saints in glory." All other hopes should be held secondary, all other distinctions counted adventitious and fleeting. That she may be enabled to fulfil a mission so sacred, Heaven has given her priority and power, and that she may learn the nature of the soul which she is ordained to modify, has permitted her to be the first to look into it, as into the cup of some opening flower, fresh from the Forming Hand. The dignity of her office admits of no substitute. It is hers to labour day and night, with patience, and in joyful hope. It is hers to lead forth the affections in healthful beauty, and prompt their heavenward aspirings. It is hers to foster tenderness of conscience, and so to regulate its balance that it swerve not amid the temptations of untried life. It is hers so to rivet principle, that it may retain its integrity, both "beneath the cloud, and under the sea." And as she labours for God, so she labours for her country, since whatever tends to prepare for citizenship in heaven, cannot fail to make good and loyal subjects of any just government on earth.

This, then, is the patriotism of woman, not to thunder in senates, or to usurp dominion, or to seek the clarion-blast of fame, but faithfully to teach by precept and example, that wisdom, integrity, and peace, which are the glory of a nation. Thus, in the wisdom of Providence, has she been prepared by the charm of life's fairest season, for the happiness of love; incited to rise above the trifling amusements and selfish pleasures which once engrossed her, that she might be elevated to the maternal dignity; cheered under its sleepless cares by a new affection; girded for its labours by the example of past ages; and adjured to fidelity in its most sacred duties, by the voice of God.

Admitting that it is the profession of our sex to teach, we perceive the mother to be first in point of precedence, in degree of power, in the faculty of teaching, and in the department allotted. For in point of precedence, she is next to the Creator; in power over her pupil, limitless and without competitor; in faculty of teaching, endowed with the prerogative of a transforming love; while the glorious department allotted is a newly quickened soul, and its immortal destiny

Let her, then, not be regardless of the high privileges conferred upon her, or seek to stipulate for a life of indolence and ease, or feebly say that her individual exertion can be of little value. Let her not omit daily to cast into the treasury of the unfolding mind her "two mites." The habits which she early impresses, though to her eye they seem but as the filmy line of the spider, scarcely clasping the spray, trembling at every breeze, may prove links of tempered steel, binding a deathless being to eternal felicity or woe. A glorious aggregate will at last be formed by long perseverance in "line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, and there a little." As the termites patiently carry grains of sand, till their citadel astonishes the eye, as the coral insect toils beneath the waters, till reef joins reef, and islands spring up with golden fruitage and perennial verdure, so let the mother, "sitting down or walking by the way," in the nursery, the parlour, even from the death-bed, labour to impress on her offspring that goodness, purity, and piety, which shall render them acceptable to society, to their country, and to their God.

Letter II

LETTER II.

INFLUENCE OF CHILDREN UPON PARENTS.

We speak of educating our children. Do we know that our children also educate us?

"How much tenderness, how much generosity," says a fine writer, "springs into the father's heart, from the cradle of his child. What is there so affecting to the noble and virtuous man, as that being which perpetually needs his help, and yet cannot call for it. Inarticulate sounds, or sounds which he receives half formed, he bows himself down to modulate, he lays them with infinite care and patience not only on the tender, attentive ear, but on the half-open lips, on the cheeks, as if they all were listeners."

And if the sterner nature of man is thus readily softened, how much more must the pliancy of woman be modified, through the melting affections of the mother.

Our authority over our children passes away with their period of tutelage. But their influence over us, increases with time. The mother, associating her daughters with herself, becomes gradu- ally guided by the judgment which she had assisted to form. How common is the remark, "I have done this, or that, because my daughter thought it best." And the acquiescence is still more common than the remark. The father quotes the opinion of his sons with pride, and is perhaps governed by it, even when it differs from his own. This influence of the younger over the elder, naturally gains strength, as one comes forth with new vigour and energy, and the other, passing into the vale of years, learns to love repose.

It is important that the power which is eventually to modify us, should be under the guidance of correct principle. We select with care, a garment which is to protect us from cold, or which is expected to be in use for years. We are solicitous to obtain the best plan, when we erect a permanent habitation. We take pains that the chronometer which is to measure our hours, shall be accurate. Ought we not to be still more anxious, more faithful, more wary, in fashioning the instrument which is to measure our happiness, when the snows of the winter of life shall cover us? If we fail to instil correct principles into those, who are in the end to impress their own semblance upon us; if through their want of respectability, we are to be made less respectable; if even in their errors, we are to partake, as well as to be wounded, how great will be the loss!

"How keen the pang, but keener far to feel, We nurs'd the feather that impell'd the steel."

While the minds of children are in their waxen state, let parents be most assiduous to impress on them such a likeness, as they should be willing themselves to bear. This injunction addresses itself more immediately to the mother, who has it in her power to make the earliest impressions, and is liable in her turn to be the most strongly impressed.

Observe how soon, and to what a degree, this influence begins to operate. Her first ministration for her infant is to enter, as it were, the valley of the shadow of death, and win its life at the peril of her own. How different must an affection thus founded, be from all others. As if to deepen its power, a season of languor ensues, when she is comparatively alone with her infant and with Him who gave it, cultivating an acquaintance with a new being, and through a new channel, with the greatest of all beings. Is she not also herself an image of His goodness, while she cherishes in her bosom the young life that he laid there? A love, whose root is in death, whose fruit must be in Eternity, has taken possession of her. No wonder that its effects are obvious and great.

Has she been selfish? or rather, has the disposition to become so been nourished by the indulgence of affluence, or the adulation offered to beau- ty? How soon she sacrifices her own ease and convenience to that of her babe. She wakens at its slightest cry, and in its sickness forgets to take sleep.

"Night after night She keepeth vigil, and when tardy morn Breaks on her watching eye-lids, and she fain Would lay her down to rest, its weak complaining O'ercomes her weariness."

Has she been indolent or vain? The physical care of her child helps to correct these faults. She patiently plies the needle, to adorn its person. She is pleased to hear the praises that were once lavished on herself, transferred to her new darling. Almost could she respond to the sentiment of Ossian, "Let the name of Morni be forgotten among the people, if they will only say, Behold the father of Gaul."

Has she been too much devoted to fashionable amusements? She learns to prize home-felt pleasures. She prefers her nursery to the lighted saloon, and the brilliant throng.

Has she been passionate? She restrains herself. How can she require the government of temper from her child, and yet set him no example? She learns to feel with Rousseau, that "the greatest respect is due to children." When her temper has been discomposed, she dreads the gaze of that little, pure, wondering eye, perhaps even more than the reproof of conscience.

In the artificial intercourse of society, has she sometimes ceased to regard the true import of words? And does she not require truth of her child? As he advances towards moral agency, is she not more and more moved to exemplify that strict integrity which she demands of him?

Has she evaded the requisitions of religion? And is she willing that her child should be impious?

Thus powerful are the influences exercised by the infant upon its mother, from the moment of its birth. If she yields to the transforming power, daily soliciting the Spirit of God to sanctify and sublimate the newly implanted affection, she may trust to reap a blessed harvest. But however imperfect may be her own spiritual improvement of the precious gift, she can scarcely fail to feel and acknowledge, that in this new existence, she has doubled her own capacities for enjoyment. No matter by what suffering this joy has been obtained. The sleepless nights, the days of seclusion, the long heaviness that weighed down the buoyant spirit, the pang that has never yet been described, all are forgotten. "She remembereth no more her sorrow," saith that sacred pen, which knows to touch the soul's inmost recesses. Nay, she would willingly have endured a thousand fold, for such a payment.

She has entered the temple of a purer happiness, and become the disciple of a higher school. She is led to be disinterested, she is induced to resign the restless search of pleasure, to feel her own insufficiency, to sit down under the shadow and shelter of Almighty wisdom. Are not these blessed results?

But, young mother, what do you hold in your arms? A machine of exquisite symmetry; the blue veins revealing the mysterious life-tide through an almost transparent surface; the waking thought speaking through the sparkling eye, or dissolving there in tears; such a form as the art of man has never equalled; and such a union of matter with mind, as his highest reason fails to comprehend. You embrace a being, whose developements may yet astonish you; who may perhaps sway the destiny of others; whose gatherings of knowledge you can neither foresee or limit; and whose chequered lot of sorrow or of joy, are known only to the Omnipotence which fashioned him. Still, if this were all, the office of a mother would lose its crowning dignity. But to be the guide of a spirit which can never die, to make the first indelible impressions on what may be a companion of seraphs, and live with an unbounded capacity for bliss or woe, when these poor skies under which it was born, shall have vanished like a vision, this is the fearful honour which God hath entrusted to the "weaker vessel," and which would make us tremble amid our happiness, if we took not refuge in Him.