Her day of visitation...

Foreword

The Author^s Experience

I was born in a Christian home. My parents and grandparents were devout Methodists. I was taught to pray as soon as 1 could speak, and taken to the House of God before I could walk. Family worship was sacredly observed. Prayer and class-meeting and the old-fashioned love-feast were faithfully attended, and the Friday before each quarterly meeting was observed as a day of prayer and fasting.

When ten years of age, I was admitted to membership in the Methodist Episcopal Church and have retained this membership till the present time. On the 9th day of October, 1883, I became the wife of a Methodist preacher, who at that time was a member of the Illinois Annual Conference. For many years I have been engaged in the labors and enjoyed the privilege of a pastor's wife. During those years God blest our efforts, and many were converted and gathered into the church.

Often God visited us with seasons of power and our hearts overflowed with joy, so that I was most highly favored with Christian influences and associations ; but notwithstanding all this, I was led to see and feel that there were heights and depths in the Christian life to which I had not yet attained. By a more careful study of the scriptures, I was led to believe that it was the privilege of every Christian to have Christ as an abiding guest, and to be filled with the Holy Spirit. This grew into a deep conviction until I became lonesome for His presence and hungry for His love.

After a long and severe struggle I reached the point where the longings of my soul were satisfied and Jesus was glorified in me. I want to give, as nearly as I can recall them, the steps leading up to this divine fullness.

While I felt that I was a Christian, still I realized the lack of something. My way was often dark. My prayers would not ascend. I had no freedom. My soul seemed to be fettered. In reading my bible my mind would wander. The evil one would inject worldly thoughts into my mind until at times I almost despaired, feeling that God had withdrawn His spirit from me.

For about two years oh, how I struggled and prayed the Lord for a pure heart where He might dwell. I sought but found not. My pleadings seemed denied. Neither prayers, songs or tears availed. I would see other faces light up with testimony and song and who, in their prayers, seemed really to talk to God. Then I would say, "That is what I want." The burden of my pra3^er was, to be set free, — to be made an empty vessel for Him to fill and use; to be stripijed of everj thing of self. M^^ agonized petition seemed to be voiced in this verse :

"My Jesus, as Thou wilt

All shall be well for me.

Each changing future scene

I gladly trust to Thee.

Straight to my home above

I travel calmly on And sing in life or death

My Lord, 'Thy will be done'."

This became to me more than the mere utterance of words. Then the Lord seemed to say, "Do you mean that?" "Are you w^illing to give up your will?" "Are you ready to say, 'Thy will, not mine, be done'?" This was the crucial point and my heart responded. "Yes, Lord. I don't want my will in any particular. I have had it all these years and it has been a barrier to the peace for which my soul longs. I Avaut to get aAvay from it as far as possible." At this point He revealed Himself and there came a sense of peace and gladness. I felt the Holy Spirit hovering over me, and with this an indescribable rest of soul. I then knew the meaning of John 14 :20, "At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father and ye in me and I in you." Jesus gave me a pure heart and baptized me with the Holy Spirit.

Oh, it was blessed to be alone with the Lord. In this restful silence I would lift up my heart and voice, saying, "Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth," and He began to give me messages of comfort to dear ones who were passing through sore trials; and when I was writing these it seemed that "Heaven had come down my soul to greet". I had reached the climax of human experience, — out of self into Christ. Christ had made me an empty vessel, meet for His use.

Following this came spiritual manifestations, or rather revelations to my soul. Now I am afraid I cannot make myself understood. There are some experiences which can never be told. They are so sacred that one hesitates to speak of them. Yet in these moments I seem most truly to live. This, that I am about to relate, was a dream. I dreamed that I stood before a counter and asked, "What is the price of heavenly commodities?" For answer the

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*'Rock of Ages" rose up to my view with mis message, ''Without money and without price." "Nothing in my hand I bring, Simply to Thy cross I cling." With this I awoke and a spiritual vision of our living Savior was unveiled before me twice. Oh, my rapture was unwordable. I seemed to be living in the glory of the Lord. Other revelations followed and this message was flashed before my vision : "Heed the day of your visitation." I understood this to be God's command to me to write these messages which He was giving to me and I am now trying to give to the world what has been spoken ot me in the silence of my own room.

Being but a poor sleeper, I would lie awake for hours at a time, my mind filled with worry and dreary forebodings ; but now, the hours are filled with blessed communion with my Lord, and not only in the night-time, but during the day, when all other voices are stilled within me, the Spirit brings to my remembrance some song or text of scripture which will start a train of thought that leads to my getting busy for some one. The empty vessel again, see? O praise the Lord tbat He is able to use me. Being a "shut-in" so much of the time the hours Avere often lonely when I could do nothing but lie and think. Yes, it was more than loneliness. At times it was unbearable. But now, I am glad to be all alone and when I turn the key in my door it is to sit at the feet of Jesus and try to learn the lessons of life. Oh, how blessed is this divine stillness.

Well, I was dwelling on the mountain top all these weeks when all of a sudden the thought came to me, "Why, I have outstripped Satan." He has not come near me for some time, whereas before he sat at my side like a dog at a table. This was a new cause for rejoicing. A voice just here whispered, "Where is yourself?" I waited an instant, when my inner spirit caught the meaning of Romans 6:2 and then I shouted, "Dear, dead! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord !"

This blessed life dawned upon me the 28tli day of December, 1906, and up till January 15, 1907, I had not given a public testimony of this great change which had been divinely wrought in me. While engaged in sweet communion the Holy Spirit whispered, "You ought to testify to this to-night in the prayer meeting." I did not answer immediately. I remembered how difficult this had always been for me and I answered, "Well, Lord, I will if you want me to and will tell me again at the meeting." You may be sure that He did. Oh, how my heart beat. I stumbled all over my testimony and when I came to my room the tempter said, "The people will think you are going crazy, I thing some were sorry for you." But instead of worrying over a blunder as I should have done before, I just said, "That is all right, the Holy Spirit told me to give it and I will leave that with Him."

The following night was another Pisgah for me. I was awakened out of sound sleep by noise in the next room. I soon saw there would be no more sleep for me. But instead of dragging wearily through the night as heretofore, my soul began to respond to messages from heaven as an Eolian harp responds to the breeze. As 1 lay there I seemed to see my relation to God typified by that of a child in its mother's arms. As it responds to her love, oh how she beams upon it. Thus it was with me. My heart seemed to be permeated with the love of God, and as I absorbed His love, my whole being lighted up until I wanted to break through this casket of clay and go to him. I really seemed to feel my body holding me back. A voice whispered, "Would you know Him by the print of the nails in His hands?" I immediately cried out, "Oh, no, no, no! but by the love, by the love !" Just then an impenetrably black wall rose up before me. I asked, "What is that? There is no condemnation." When — oh, how can I express it! — silence itself seemed an intrusion. A spiritual manifestation of the transfigured Christ rose back of this wall, illuminating the outer edge and the other side. Awed, I asked, "Is this the grave?" There the vision vanished.

In relating this to my pastor he asked if I knew what this black wall meant. I replied, "No. If it is the grave, I know what is on the other side."

I have since learned that it was Self with all its accompanying doubts, fears, worries, etc., etc. God showed me that any suggestion of doubt dwelt upon or cultivated for a moment would blot out all my beautiful new life and that it would take as much effort to be restored as it did to bring me to my present state of happiness.

Chapter I The Changed Life

While dwelling in the "upper room" of fellowship and light, today I rose to get something from my dresser. Seeing my retiection in the mirror, I said to myself, "Is it you who is so filled?" I studied myself a while, when a voice whispered, "You cannot see the soul which dwells in human clay." Then came to me these lines of this song:

"This robe of flesh I'll drop and rise, To seize the everlasting prize.

I shall be like Him, wondrously like Him." I believe these songs are brought to my remembrance at these times of communion for the purpose of giving expression to the language of my soul. (As yet God had given me no verses of my own.)

In my meditation this morning, this came to me : "Take time to be holy."

God calls us often and long, sometimes by joy and sometimes it is necessary to call us through chastisement before we will yield all to Him. I believe this is His purpose in my invalidism. He is thus stilling all other voices so that I can hear His messages.

I think I have been too eager for worldly possessions, and the Lord had to put me on a bed of illness, and has kept me an invalid these many years until I became so dissatisfied with nayself, and saw that I was ready to give up all. He made me so hungry and lonesome for His presence and love, but praise God I am now feeding on daily manna. Glory!

Jan. 22. Just returned from calling on my pastor. Dr. Mc- Intyre. When I told him something of my experience, he said, "You are being led by the Holy Spirit and the end is not yet. Do just what He tells you to do. It is a marvelous experience and one which is seldom attained in this life."

O my Father, I thank Thee for sending me there — Thou art leading me. As I meditate on the way I have been led, I marvel that I ever sought for anything else. If He is whispering deep down in any heart when these lines are read, oh ! heed the call and yield all to Him. He will not intrude or force Himself upon us. He lets us have our own way if we choose. What a risk we run in rejecting His invitation ! We have no lease on life — it may be snuffed out any moment. How very near tlie border land I have been three times in the past three years, but God in His mercy spared me for this time. God help me to redeem my time, and from now on ''Lay up treasures in heaven instead of trying to lay them up on earth."

While living in the holy quietness this afternoon, I had a desire to write a letter to a dear one, but my body was very weary. 1 waited to know God's will, when the voice whispered, ''Lie down and rest — wait awhile." I obeyed, as I always do these promptings. The quiet hallelujahs filled my soul. I seemed bathed in glory when the heavenly vision again appeared. The part of my prayer that has not been fully answered semeed about to be fulfilled. The refining fire ! I seem to see it coming. A messenger from heaven descended with a censor at his side, containing refining fire — oh, it seemed I could not live. I thought I would be consumed if it came nearer, — the vision vanished. 1 lay there feeling somewhat disappointed that I could not receive it, when I seemed to hear, "I can give it as you need it." Within a few minutes Mrs. N. called. I spoke out of a full heart, and told her all. She responded to every step of the "struggling way". She wants to be free — just as I did. Lord, set her free and save her family. Another soon called. I thought she knew "The Old Story," but she shook her head, saying, "I do not know this by personal experience." I pray God to use me in helping others into this light.

Jan. 23. The message given to me today by the Holy Spirit was, "Have ye received the Holy Ghost since ye believed?"

The mail brought me a letter. I held it in my hand for half an hour, forgetting to open it. I was so absorbed in God's love. Oh, what a change in me! Mr. C. handed me a long article about a place where we both had business interests — this would have been read the first thing, while I lived the former life, but I have kept this two weeks, and have not read it yet. "I have found a richer treasure."

I met Mr. and Mrs. M. M. G. last night and told her I was coming to her Expression Class tomorrow. But on coming to my room, I thought, "Had I better go — might not my communion with the Holy Spirit be interrupted?" I could not decide, — thought it might be made plain in the morning. My first thought on waking in the morning Avas "not answered yet !" I walked about the room awhile, decided perhaps I had better not go, and went back to bed. Almost instantly the voice said, "Go!" I went, and I never saw Cumnock Hall look so beautifully. The Holy Spirit was in every room and breathed through the lesson, teaching me so consciously that I had come into the realization of tlie beautiful ideal which Mrs. G. was trying to bring before the class. As I sat in the class 1 remembered how I had struggled to reach this ideal three and a half years ago, while a student in the school, but God took me away — put me on a bed of illness, took a 11 other props away to teach m© to rely on Him alone. He sent me to the school this morning just to show me how He can outstrip ail other teachers. After the lec ture, I told Mrs. G. (Principal of the Cumnock School of Expres sion) of my controversy in the morning^, and said, ^'I know now -why I came. I have come to a realization of that power within myself." She said, "Mrs. Gunnett, God sent you here this morning to help me. You are an inspiration to me. Yours is a wonderful realization— come again, come as often as you can." Praise God for His leading and teaching.

A friend, Miss F., came this afternoon and found me with tears in my eyes. I said, "They are tears of joy," and began to pour forth the song of my heart — when I saw she did not understand. I realized this instantly and said, "You stopped me right there, I can tell you no more," although she had not spoken — we had a good long talk, however. She will understand some time.

Called on Mrs. V. She was the first to begin praying that I might come into the light. Soon Misses L. and V. joined her. I told Mrs. V. of the wonderful blessing I had received. She was rejoiced, because it was a direct answer to prayer.

When the Holy Spirit shines through our lives our whole being IS lightened up. As the keeper turns on the lights in the lighthouse — cease our own vibrations — let the Master produce music — then listen to the sole of heaven.

"In the secret of His presence I have found a blest retreat." I am so glad the Holy Spirit is my teacher. I rest, go, or write, just as He bids.

I awakened at 6 a. m. on January 20th with these verses, "My peace I leave with you," "If I go not away the comforter will not come," "If I go not away." Now I can imagine how the disciples felt at the thought of Jesus leaving them. Did you ever feel a reat loneliness for Jesus? I believe it is necessary for us to feel this before the Comforter comes. But oh, the "peace, peace, wonderful peace" — "the gift of God's love" !

How blessed it is to dwell in this atmosphere of peace and love. How different the scriptures read when we understand the language of Canaan.

This morning while meditating on the great fact of God revealing Himself in Jesus, I thought if He had not come in this way we could not realize how spirit could dwell in human clay. Jesus came to make this manifest. I see the trinity — Father, Son and Holy Spirit — as I never saw this before.

A peculiar feature of my experience in the past three or four weeks was that I did not want to read anything, not even my Bible.

I have had such continuous communion, and have been so blessedly fed, that I feared to read, lest this blessed fellowship might be interrupted, but yesterday morning the Holy Spirit brought to my remembrance the lith chapter of John. I read this, and oh how much better I understand it! How my heart burned within me as this chapter was interpreted by the light of the Holy Spirit!

I observed another marked change. Before this I wanted to be alone, but now I am asking the Lord to send anyone to me who needs the messages which He gives me.

I covet the little time required to do the little bit of work about my room. It seems that the only thing worth while is sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening to His teachings. I understand now as never before why Mary sat at His feet and why He said to Martha, '•She hath chosen the better part." Oh, how good the Lord is to me! This has been one continued day of feasting at the table of the Lord.

Sunday, Jan. 27. I thank my Heavenly Father for the peaceful, restful sleep of the past night. All through the night and on awakening this morning I felt the holy quietness and unfathomable love of Jesus. I am bathed in His glory this holy Sabbath morning, as all nature is bathed in sunshine.

The Spirit's message came to me in the following lines:

"All for Jesus — all for jesus, All my being's ransomed powers, All my thoughts and all my doings, All my days and all my hours.

"Since my eyes were fixed on Jesus I've lost sight of all beside.

So enchained my spirit's vision Looking at the Crucified."

While in communion with the Father, before going out, I thought I heard two voices. Now I know one voice was my own desire. How careful we must be to distinguish between the two! I had blessed news I wanted to tell to one of God's own, but before long I felt that I wanted to get off by myself and be alone, perhaps in the gallery where no one knew mej and there be silent with God before the sermon. But instead of doing that I went to my friend's and instantly told the good news. Well, the Holy Spirit sent me back to my room in a hurry, but I was permitted to return to the church in time for the sermon. Now I know His call, ''Be silent before God."

I see now that the message which I was so eager to give to my friends was intended for the Holy of Holies. Some things must be told to Jesus only.

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty !" Oh, how I have realized the truth of this promise this holy Sabbath day! While every thought was hushed in this silence, and my eyes closed^ the Holy Spirit caused me to hear — away somewhere in my being — a deep solemn chant of heavenly music, and as I sang —

"I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me, And purchased my pardon on Calvary's Tree, I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow" —

a revelation of my Jesus on the Cross appeared to be slowly lifted up as the music rolled on — holy stillness!

I am just beginning to understand and feel a little of the love that prompted the Son of God to come to earth and die for sinful man.

"Oh, it was wonderful — how could it be?

Dying for me, for me."

I want four pictures in my room. Jesus on the Cross — the thorn-corwned Jesus. I feel His love through His suffering as never before. Another one is the picture of Jesus just as He was unveiled before me in the night of December 28, 1906. Another is that of Jesus in the Transfiguration, and lastly the "Rock of Ages".

6 p. m. "Abide with me, fast falls the eventide ;

The darkness deepens. Lord with me abide."

I seem to be in the very presence of God and the Holy of Holies. Would that I could breathe forth this atmosphere which I feel — just as if I were floating out of time into eternity.

The Holy Spirit brought this text to my mind, as I lay upon my couch. I may use it sometimes as the basis of a Bible reading :

"I will remove your transgressions from you as far as the East is from the West." Oh, burdened one, don't you want your sins removed, and to realize this promise for yourself? Unless it is removed you will spend an eternity away from God, for no sin can enter there.

Try to think what is meant by Eternity — Eternity — a day is as a thousand years with God.

Go to the sea shore and look out on God's mirror of eternity, and try to realize, if you can, the meaning of this word. Flee from such an eternity by having all sin removed. Do not delay when you hear the Spirit pleading.

"Dost thou know at thy bolted heart's door tonight The Savior in meekness doth stand.

And longs for admission? Pray listen now To the knock of the nail-pierced hand.

^'Outside He hath stood through the length of the yeai-s Since mother the love-flame first fanned.

You have spurned and rejected, oh give heed tonight To the knock of the nail-pierced hand."

God's Spirit never intrudes. He goes away if vou despise. Heed the day of your visitation.

The subject of Dr. Mclntyre\s sermon today was ''Eight Gates to the Heavenly City". (See Matt. 5:3-11.)

I entered through the fourth gate.

The evil one has spoken to me through two people. One said, "Is she going crazy?" and the other said, "I am afraid she will become fanatical." Oh, no ! They do not know my Teacher.

The Holy Spirit is giving me passages of Scripture that I never could have quoted before, and He has kept melodies of songs ringing in my ears until I am driven to find the words, and when I do I find they are just Avhat I need to express my meaning. How good it is that we can find language to express melodies of the soul !

Jan. 28. I started out to find the pictures of Jesus as He was revealed to me in the night vision, and as I saw Him yesterday afternoon — "Dying for me". Is everybody changed or is the change in me ? The first store I entered a lovely young lady waited on me. After telling her the subjects I Avanted, she took me upstairs. We were alone except the Divine Presence. As I caught glimpses of the features which I sought my heart was deeply moved. She began to talk in whispers. Both hearts were deeply moved. When the face of the Thorn-Crowned Jesus was laid before me I burst into tears. It was as if we were standing beside one who was precious to both of us. Oh, the solemn stillness that prevailed ! It is the face I saw, but I cannot get it with the Cross. Another face that w^as unveiled before me and that beamed upon me in such love, is just like the one in the picture where He is blessing the little children. I cannot find the other pictures here. I told tli young lady — as we looked through different boxes — that I would know the faces when I saw them as they had been revealed to me. As I started to go she said most pleasantly, "I hope you will find the ones you seek." After going to four different stores, the thought came to me, "Of course you will never find the faces revealed to you by the blessed Lord," so 1 will go back and take the nearest likeness. As I went into the second store, and walked down the aisle, I looked neither to the right nor left, but was praying the Lord to send me the right clerk, when who should appear but one dear Carrie, now Mrs. B. I had an opportunity to blessedly witness for the same Jesus there. As I walked the streets it was revealed to me how I should use these pictures to any hungry heart who might visit my room. Oh blessed leading!

Tuesday morning, Jan. 29. Well ! I missed the great event, the lecture of Wm. Jennings Bryan, the one lecture of all the University course that I especially wanted to hear, but I had been interrupted and while at my writing again last night I utterly forgot the lecture. It is no longer here or there. I feel somehow that I was doing a more important work. My letter is now on the way to San Francisco — other things can wait. God's purposes must be fulfilled.

9 :45. God is sending me so many messages that it seems I cannot get dressed to go to breakfast. Oh, how I love Him ! Should my experience ever grow dim, I believe God would send me to nature instead of to people.

It all comes to me so plainly, hoAv I had fallen out with myself before God gave me this blessing. Sometimes it would occur to me, •'People don't like you," and then I w^ould say, "I don't blame them, 1 don't like myself." I prayed God to make me new^ — to drive out all selfishness, impatience, ill temper, everything that would prevent His Spirit dwelling with me.

I have nothing to say to you, but Jesus has. I am only His messenger to take His message. And you would like to be His messenger, too? Are you willing to pay the price? That is all that is necessary. Jesus wants all of His children to be His messengers.

Listen ! When did you take a message for Jesus to some sick or needy one? "Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of the least of these ye did it unto me."

A dear one was afraid lest I would become a picture worshiper. Ah, me! "Do you suppose I could worship a picture after having seen the original?" His love brought me to my knees where I could see the love expressed in the picture of the Child's face.