A companion for the season of maternal solicitude

Preface

IMPROVED EDITION.

It was the desire of the publishers of this volume to promote the welfare of families ; and it has occurred to them (and this opinion has been confirmed by the friends whom they have consulted,) that its usefulness would be promoted by extending- the work so as to embrace a more full view of some topics here stated, and the insertion of a few others omitted by the author. This course will afford helps for the guidance of those who are charged with the responsible work of training up a family of children.

The additions made in the present edition are selected from a work entitled, " Hints for the Improvement of Early Education, and Nursery Discipline," originally written by an English lady, a corrected edition of which was a few years since edited by a lady in Salem, Massachusetts.

It is hoped that this improved edition of a work which has been already well received by the public, will prove increasingly acceptable.

New York, 1834.

Contents

Preface

Page . 3

CHAPTER I. Mail's first Transgression in Paradise

Woman formed

Successful Temptation

The Sentence ....

Effects of Sin not confined to the Original Transgressors .

Chapter II

Consequence of the Fall in reference to Mothers generally .

Anxieties previous to the hour of Trial

The Affliction itself .

Subsequent Sorrow .

These Afflictions traced to their proper Source ....

Prayer for one looking forward to the Trial ;

Hymn ,

CHAPTER III. Encouragements, Mercy mixed

with Judgment The Consequence of Sin might

have been more distressing The Entrance of the Female

into the Marriage State a

luntary act Woman occupying an elevated

Position in Socie y Paternal Relationship of God

to Believing Parents The Promises of the Gospel The Sympathy and Compassion

of Christ ....

Remembrance of Past Deliver

ance ....

The Purposes of God accom

plished by the Possession of

Children ....

The Distinguished Honor of be

ing Parents Offspring a Blessing .

Page The Afflictions of mothers overruled for Spiritual Good . S2 Hymns 88

CHAPTER IV. Gratitude to God for mercy experienced in the Hour of Trial

Private Dedication .

Public Acknowledgment .

Caution against Formality

Caution against Superstition .

Grateful Remembrance perpetuated

Social Acknowledgments •

Presentation of the Child

Parents encouraged to bring their Children to Christ

Thankfulness for the Permis sion to present Children to God

Persevering Prayer .

Prayer answered for Children .

Anecdote of a young Female .

Hezekiah and Manasseh .

Anecdote of Monica ■

Remarkable Instance of an Answer to a Mother's Prayer .

The same of a Father's Prayer 125

Effects of Prayer upon Children 130

Children to be Prayed with . 131

Anecdote of the late Mrs. Berry ib.

Mental and Moral culture of Children . . . . .133

The Means blessed . . .137

Neglect of Parents . . . 138

Encouragements to instruct

93 94 101 102

. 112

115 116 117 120 121 122

Children ....-.;

Children brought into the Sanctuary

Hannibal j

Importance of Example .

Anecdote illustrating the effects of Example ..."

The Regulation of Parental Affection towards Children

Prayers and Thanksgivings

Hymns

CONTENTS

CHAPTER V. Page ib

Address to Irreligious Mothers .

Tiie Importance of Piety on their own Account

On Account of their Offspring .

Affecting Anecdote .

Address to the Childless .

Reasons to reconcile the Mind to the Deprivation .

Supporting Considerations for Widows and Widowed Mothers

Address to Bereaved Parents . 17S

Hymn 187

Address to Fathers and Husbands ... : 195

Appendix

The Importance of Health in Children . . . . .201

The Nursery the Mother's Element 203

Page Mothers should nurse their own

Children . . . .204

Qualifications of Nurses . . 206 The Effects of Good Nursing

upon the Mind and Body . 208 Cleanliness .... 211

Clothing . ... 212

Food 222

Air and Exercise . . . 227 General Principles of Education 234

Truth and Sincerity . . .236 Authority and Obedience . . 241 Rewards and Punishments,

Praise and Blame . . . 246 Temper . . . : .243

Justice 253

Harmony, Generosity, &c. . 255 Fearfulness and Fortitude . 261 Industry, Perseverance, and Attention 265

Delicacy . . . • .267 Manners and Order . . . 27(X Religious Instruction . . 275 Religious Habits . . . 284.

PREFACE

TO THE

AMERICAN EDITION.

" Every bullet" said William III. of England, when speaking of the universal superintendance of Providence, — " Every bullet has its billet." Its victim is marked and foreknown. It goes on its appointed and distinct errand. It were to be wished, that it were in like manner true of every volume, that it had its express and personal message, and that it were adapted to its own specific class of readers. Much of the moral suasion of the dayis lost because of its vague and aimless character. It has no billet. This evil is, however, apparently on the decline. Among the happier omens of the age in which we live may be numbered the increasing disposition which Christian writers have displayed, to adapt their labours to the different forms of society, and to the varied stations and pursuits of mankind. There seems a growing inclination to exchange loose and undiscriminating generalizations for addresses more pointed and distinct, which shall isolate the hearer, and give to the words of the teacher the urgency and directness of personal intercourse. There is more of effort to reach the several classes of society, each in its chosen occupation and home. The mass of the public mind is no longer assailed with a blind and wasted strength, as one large, impassive and unmanageable whole j but it is divided into portions, according to the lines of separation which are drawn by the differences in age, character and employment. Thus sundered, the mass becomes accessible. The aim of writers seems to have become more andmore allied in its spirit to the favourite but simple manoeuvre which won for Napoleon his most splendid victories ; — we mean, that of pouring the whole power and fierceness of his onset, in one direct and continued stream, upon a single point.

This wavered,— when it yielded, the line of defence was broken, and the field was won. The religious author in our own times must act upon a like principle. He must not look upon himself as encountering the whole front and face of the public mind ; but he must select and sever his auditory. And now urging upon the young the dangers of his unguarded and heedless youth, and now upon the merchant the want of sobriety, and forethought, and wariness, in his spiritual exercises ; bringing before each age and sex its distinct duties and perils; he must, to the utmost of his power, identify and individualize his^readers, allowing them no opportunity for evasion, in the feeling that the argument or the appeal is indefinite and vague. The parable or the exhortation must terminate as did the apologue of Nathan, with shutting up the hearer to the exclusive ownership and appropriation of its healing or searching truths — " Thou art the man." This was a favourite practice with the men, to whom England, and not England only, but America and the world, owe so much, — we speak of the Puritans. They wrote for classes of men. Every member of society had " his portion,' 1 of counsel and instruction, and received it in its " due season." In reviewing their writers it seems wondrous, with what ingenuity they contrived to address evengelical truth to nearly every state and form of the community. The artizan, the merchant, the husbandman and the navigator, the magistrate on the bench, and the criminal in his dungeon, the master and the servant, the parent and the child, were all admonished in treatises written for their exclusive benefit, and with a peculiar adaptation of language and imagery to their distinctive character. And although many of these writings have now become obsolete, the " Husbandry Spiritualized" of the ingenious and devout Flavel, and the " Navigation Spiritualized" by the same author are not yet forgotten or useless.

Our own is an age which requires these specific appeals to the conscience, the intellect, and the heart. In this simple manual which is here presented to the American reader, a distinct class is thus addressed. It is one needing religious consolation. Of the exercise of sympathy towards the friend and the companion of man in the hour of nature's anguish, we have an example at the same time the most touching and the most authoritative, in that Saviour, who, as he ascended the hill of Calvary amid the taunts and mockery of the multitude, and followed by the bearer of his cross, turned to commiserate, as with a deeper sympathy, those from among the daughters of Jerusalem, who, in the coming desolation and overthrow of their country should find their sufferings deepened and doubled by the pangs and anxieties of maternity.*

The consolations of the gospel, in all their exuberant richness, are here brought before the heart of woman, in the season of her greatest trial, and in that season too when she becomes invested with the most endearing of the relations which she sustains to society; at the time when, to the affections which cluster around her as the wife, are to be added the charities, the influence, and the responsibilities that cling to the hallowed title of the mother. The period is one favourable to the salutary influences of the truth, for it is one of retirement. There are hours when the tones of solemn gladness that come from the sacred page might seek in vain to win from her a hearing, for their gentle and persuasive sweetness would be drowned in the harsh din of this world's amusements and companionships. Treading the giddy round of dissipation, immersed in the thousand cares which this world's frivolous associations suggest, she might easily evade, or she would quickly lose each solemn reflection. But the time for which this volume was provided is one of comparative loneliness. The noisy friendships or rivalries that crowded her pathway and engrossed for themselves her whole soul, are partially withdrawn. She is thus left more to the society of her own thoughts. And happy is she that in such an hour seeks and finds the rich delights of that faith, which gladdened the wife of Zacharias and the mother of the Baptist, when in similar circumstances, she congratulated the mother of our Lord with the salutation "Blessed is she that believed."

It is withal a season of serious reflection. The unknown and

* Luke xxiii. 29. xxi. 23 1*

PREFACE.

uncertain future, however carefully it be banished from the recollection, will often intrude upon the thoughts, to fling over the mind a dim and saddening gloom. Fears will mingle themselves with the liveliest hopes. The heart is not then found in that state of glittering gaiety and volatile recklessness from which all serious thought glances aside, like the spent arrow from the polished shield. The mind is sobered. To the soul thus prepared the admonitions and soothing encouragements of the gospel find a readier admission. The " vain thoughts" which " lodged within" are for the season excluded or hushed, and the gentle voice of the Saviour is heard, like the tones of a harp when the wind has fallen.

The period is one also of peril. The blissful anticipations which promise new enjoyments to life and new bonds to wedded affection, may all give place to the stern realities of the grave. The event, which it was hoped would have crowned the affectionate husband with the joys of a father, may in truth leave him a bereaved and lonely mourner. Standing perhaps on the verge of eternity, shall the wife be left unprepared for the change'* If a believer in that Redeemer, whom,

a soft and naked child,

His mother undeflled

In the rude manger laid to rest,

From off her virgin breast, *

shall she not be invited to cast herself in confiding feebleness upon Him, who, when he was Divine to befriend, became human that he might sympathize 1 Shall she not be nerved and sustained by that spiritual peace, which faith alone can minister, and which so often adds an unwonted energy and new powers of endurance to the material frame 1 And if unhappily ignorant of that name, is not this the fitting season to warn her, that she stand not on the borders of eternity and continue to reject the grace of Him, whom, on her entering its shades, she shall find enthroned as its Ruler and Judge, the Dispenser of its changeless retributions '] And may not even the most heedless

* Milman.

votaries of fashion, in the remembrance of the trial and its possible issue, see the folly of their past course, and no longer

(too busy, or too gay, to wait

On the sad theme, their everlasting state,) Sport for a day, and perish in a night, The foam upon the waters not so light V

There is yet another cause for offering to the American reader *he present volume. Its intention is to advance the growth of Domestic Piety. It may serve to multiply in number, and to elevate in character those Christian homes which are the best sources of a nation's strength, the well-heads of its purity and its happiness. There only must be formed those habits, and there are to be trained the minds, that must uphold the freedom of our country, and bear onward the triumphs of the Church. The press may groan beneath the weight of its labours for the national intellect, and the pulpit may thunder forth its honest and fearless appeals to the national conscience, the schoolmaster may thoroughly educate, and the legislator carefully govern ; but all these will want their most faithful ally, if there be not found throughout our land the Christian parent, teaching by hourly precept and ceaseless example. The family religion of Scotland and New England has been in truth the secret of their giant growth in arts, power and intellect. And were every region of our country studded with the sanctuaries of God, and were the pulpits of all her neighbourhoods filled by an energetic and a devout ministry, little would have been gained for the cause of piety, if all this had been obtained only on the condition that each family altar should be demolished. Christian parents are not yet aware of the dignity which is attached to their station, where the head of the family becomes, like Burns' cotter, the priest of his household,

And kneeling down, to Heaven's Eternal King The saint, the father, and ihe husband prays.

It is for pious mothers yet to learn how much they may effect, in modest retirement, by their assiduous prayers and their de-

* Cowper.

vout and tender watchfulness. We need statesmen and legislators, we need pastors and schoolmasters, and like Elliot, the Apostle of New England, we do well often to pray " Lord send us good schools," — but we feel, in our measure a yet greater destitution ; it is that, which Madame Campan assured Bonaparte, made up the wants of France, — " we need mothers." "When the Church shall have again her Eunice and her Lois, she will again rejoice in her Timothys. The influence of a pious mother is untold and boundless. It spreads from generation to generation — it stretches into eternity. The extent and duration of this influence shall never be estimated aright, until we read it in the developments of that world.

" The child," said "Wordsworth, " is father of the man." In his character we trace the germs and outlines of that which maturer years only unfold and perfect. The atmosphere of his early home still clings about man to his declining years. If that atmosphere has been one of religious light and splendour, it has left in his eyes a lingering glory, which makes the objects of sensuality to wear in his view their native dulness and dimness of hue, He cannot sin without restraint and without remorse. The tastes of home cannot be lost at once, and if they have been those of cautious delicacy and purity, if the parent's hand lifted often and prayerfully to the infant's lip the chalice of heavenly truth, it has communicated a quickness of perception and left behind a relish of delight, which will often make all worldly joy seem insipid or bitter. Man may wander from his home and his country, and become an outcast from the comforts, and an outlaw to the privileges of society, but far away into his loneliest solitude, and down into his deepest degradation, he will be followed by the habits and recollections of his childhood. And if with all these recollections there be mingled the image of a mother tender and devout, those recollections may, when it is least expected, awake and work within him the mightiest changes ; the seed of her instructions may vegetate, and the dew of her prayers descend long after the hand which scattered the one has mouldered, and the lips which uttered the other have been closed in the grave. The testimony of a late dis-

PREFACE. y

tinguished orator and statesman* of our own country must be yet recent and familiar to our readers. And while the histories of Baxter and Henry, Halyburton, Wesley and Doddridge, exhibit the early harvest often following the pious culture of a Christian parent ; on the other hand, even when the seed seems to have lighted on a thankless and barren soil, we are taught not to despond by the story of Augustine, and of Gardiner, of Newton and Cecil.

The responsibilities of the Christian parent furnish a theme on which the pious mother will delight to receive every admonition, and for the discharge of which she will welcome every aid from whatever source it be offered. The birth of a child is to a family a more important event than any of those accessions or diminutions of worldly estate, which are so generally regarded as forming an era in the family annals. The entrance of a trembling and helpless stranger upon an existence never to terminate, — the uncertainty which hides his future character and destiny,— the trials and the snares of this brief life, and the vast and momentous interests of that life to which this is but a portal, — all may well awaken the deepest sensibilities of a parent. It is the addition to the world of intellectual beings of one more chord, which by its dissonance shall mar, or that by its harmony shall swell the diapason of the universe. And at such a time the father or mother devoted to God, who receives from him so precious and difficult a trust should assuredly hail with gratitude every endeavour to aid, to guide and to stimulate ; every preparation should be made with that devout inquietude and importunity, which, as we may imagine, possessed the heart of Jochebed, while framing the ark in which her son was to be committed to the waters, " when every osier was twined with a prayer." To have given birth to one, who shall serve God in this lower world, and enjoy the beatific vision above, or who shall resist his grace and defy his power in this life, and pass to endure his wrath throughout that which is to come ; who, like Samuel, may hear the voice of Heaven in his infancy, or, like Manasseh, may trample on the teachings and worship of his fathers, opens before the mind so long a vista, and so wide a. field ; the possible extremities of the course now commenced are so widely remote and so opposite in their character ; such intense glory dazzles the eye on the one side, and such darkness mantles and chills the scene on the other ; that deep and trembling solemnity become but the natural and just feeling. The Christian parent at such a time sees no extravagance in the impassioned language of President Davies on a similar occasion.*

With these views the American publishers have prepared an edition of this unpretending manual. Its chief claims are its simplicity and piety. They have attempted to adapt the work for more extended usefulness, by some retrenchments and verbal alterations, not affecting its character, but which it was thought might render the book more valuable for the use of all denominations of evangelical Christians.

Trusting that it may subserve in its sphere the cause of domestic piety, and be made instrumental by the accompanying power of the Divine Spirit, in imparting to the Christian, strength, hope, and counsel, and in directing the thoughtless to the Giver of Life and its Almighty Protector, the volume is left to establish any claims jt may possess to the public favour and patronage.

New York, November, 1833.

* Thou embryo angel, or thou infant fiend, A being now begun, but ne'er to end, What boding fears a parent's heart torment, Trembling and anxious for the grand event, Lest the young soul, so late by Heaven bestow'd Forget her Father, and forget her God ! Lest while impnson'd in this house of clay, To tyrant lusts she fall a helpless prey, And, down descending still from bad to worse, Her immortality should prove her curse ! Maker of souls ! avert so dire a doom, Or snatch her back to native nothing's gloom ! From " Lines by President Davies on the birth of John Rogers Davies. his third son."

A COMPANION

SEASON OF MATERNAL SOLICITUDE. \

Chapter I

The Entrance of Sin — Change in Paradise — Eve formtd-— Tempted — Ruined — Sentenced — Grief at beholding the Effects of Disobedience — Abel slain — Hymn.

Nothing can be more painfully interesting to the contemplative mind than to trace the dismal and desolating effects which have followed man's first disobedience. The moral, intellectual, and physical condition of man after the fall presents a lamentable picture, upon which the pious mind dwells with very peculiar sensations. It exhibits a fearful illustration, and affords demonstrative proof of that affecting assertion of scripture, " It is an evit and bitter thing that thou hast forsaken the Lord.' 7 If the mind be more forcibly impressed with the beauty or deformity of any object, the truth or error of any subject, by striking contrasts ; if the bright and lovely tints of the rainbow appear conspicuous and beautiful, in proportion to the darkness of the cloud in which it is set ; if the lively colours of the landscape render to the sight the dark objects in the back ground apparently darker, so the state of man before and after the fall, presented to the view in connexion, will unquestionably produce a stronger effect than when separately beheld. The paradisaical glory viewed beside the present condition of the world, will make the former appear more glorious, the latter more awful, and we must exclaim, " How is the gold become dim, and the fine gold changed !" O what a sad transition from purity to pollution ! What an exchange of happiness for wretchedness ! A blooming Eden is transformed into a dismal Bochim ! What might have been the state of man, and the situation of his offspring, if sin had never entered into the world, and " death by sin," is a matter of speculation and conjecture rather than of fact, yet no doubt it would have been of the highest order of happiness and purity. We can better describe it negatively, and say what it would not have been. There would have been no pain of body or mind ; no writhing anguish — no guilty fears — no black despair — no monster death.

Among those who participate very largely in the appalling effects of transgression, are those who seem least able to sustain bodily pain and mental anguish, and who are called, in consequence of the delicacy of their frames and tenderness of their feelings, " weaker vessels."

God having formed man in his own image, and endowed him with a capacity to serve and a disposition to enjoy him, judged that it would much detract from his happiness and glory were he a solitary partaker of the bliss of Paradise, and therefore to contribute to the felicity of his newly-formed creature, he made Woman^ the last and loveliest effort of his hand, and presented her to Adam as a suitable and interesting companion, with whom he might " take sweet counsel ;" that they might together contemplate the beauties of creation ; cultivate the varied fruits and flowers which sprang around them, and express unitedly the devout and pious desires which were wont richly to glow m their holy bosoms. But our fondest possessions often prove a snare, and that which we are disposed to think admirably adapted to promote our happiness, may contain within it a worm in embryo, which will eventually eat out the vitals of our enjoyment. The sweetest flower may nourish and protect the very insect which will occasion its fair beauty to fade. She who seemed so well adapted to be a sweet and profitable companion, very soon proved a snare, and disappointed the fond hopes of Adam. Her soul was unsuspecting, her heart was susceptible of impressions, and in an unguarded hour she yielded to the base and ruinous, though plausible, insinuations of the arch-fiend, who concealed his hellish deformity under the beautiful shape of a serpent, whose variegated colours and easy motions were calculated rather to delight than disgust. 111- 2 fated hour ! when she broke through the divine prohibition so solemnly given, and not only so, but induced her husband likewise to become a partaker of her sin. From this period we see the commencement of that wretchedness and sorrow which have deluged the world. Now was felt the first tear of grief, the first feeling of shame, the first alarm of conscience, the first pang of soul, the first shadow of darkness, the first frown of Deity.

Leaving the sad effects of this unhappy act of disobedience, as it regards the world in general, we shall trace those which affect the female portion of it, and especially in reference to that season, which is emphatically called " The hour of nature's sorrow." And how deeply affecting to turn to the original denunciation of the sentence upon the woman ; a sentence around which seem to shine with fearful brightness the rays of divine equity and truth, a sentence which cannot be read without feelings of humiliation and sorrow ; a sentence which has been inflicted down to the present moment, and will continue to be so till " mortality is swallowed up of life." As woman first sinned, she was first summoned, and first sentenced. In common with man she is exposed to disease of body, condemnation and guilt of soul, and all the sad variety of pain ; but the sentence which God denounced, and to which reference is particularly made in this chapter, is peculiar to the female sex.

It contained a threatening of additional woes and pains, in which the man cannot share except bysympathy. See the woman approaching the divine Being ! Her fair and heavenly form already showing the sad effects of her transgression, her heart palpitating with fear, her face which lately exhibited angelic features and surpassing beauty, now sullied with a flood of tears. Woman, why weepest thou ? Why are those smiles, which were wont to play upon thy countenance, indicative of the peaceful pleasures of thy soul, and a source of enjoyment to thy husband, exchanged for the looks of grief and disappointment? Why all this fearfulness and trembling 1 What has robbed thee of thy peace ? What deep sorrows are these which find their expression in sobs and tears ? Alas ! she had ample cause, for this sin had made her " head as waters," and her eyes as " a fountain of tears." There was a sad consciousness of having marred in a single moment, by yielding to temptation, the beautiful efforts of six days' labour of a God — of having entailed upon her offspring a sad inheritance of pain and wo. See her approaching with trembling steps near to her offended Maker, anticipating with inconceivably painful sensations the denunciation of the sentence, though she was ignorant of the extent of punishment to which that sentence might refer. She had indeed been told that death was appended to the violation of the prohibition, but she knew not what death was but in imagination. She had not seen the fearful form, and awful concomitants of the dissolution of the body, for death had not yet slain a victim, and she could only conjecture respecting the death of the soul. God had said, " in the day thou eatest thereof, thou shalt surely die !" and her guilty soul would doubtless conceive a thousand horrors in this sentence of death ; indeed what she already felt of fear, guilt, shame, and grief, was a partial experience of the sentence. With what feelings must she have listened to the language which the scriptures represent as having been addressed to the woman after her transgression, " Unto the woman," he said, " I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception, in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children." How different these accents to those of love and approbation, to which she had been accustomed to listen with rapturous delight ; they must have entered deeply into her already agitated heart, and " pierced her through with many sorrows." Adam, the partner of her guilt and grief, listened likewise with anxiety to the sentence. At such a scene as this, could angels have wept, they would have dropped their tears. At such a scene, even the heart of the offended Sovereign moved, and felt the enkindlings of pity, while he passed the sentence of justice. At such a scene who does not now drop the tear, especially those who are more peculiarly and painfully interested in the denunciation, and who can therefore most deeply sympathize !