Grace victorious : or, The memoir of Helen M. Cowles

Preface

This brief Memoir is presented to our Christian friends and to ttie public, only because it is thougbt to be adapted to do good.

The subject of it is mainly her own biographer, the volume being compiled chiefly from her journal and x^i^i'^ate correspondence. We have no reason to suppose it ever entered her mind that her journal would be read by others, or that her letters would go beyond a very narrow circle of personal friends. Hence they are the free utterances of her heart, and all the more truthfully reveal her character.

The compiler, (her second mother,) has aimed to make this memoir a fair exhibit of Helen's real character, and of the fruits of divine grace in its transformation. It might have embraced only what would be called her religious experiences, and so have been much shorter; but it would also have been less life-like, and in many respects, less really valuable.

This memoir boiTows no interest from extraordinary and thrilling incidents; and pre-eminently^

4 PREFACE*

none frcm fiction. It is simply real life in im humble walks of a daughter, a pupil, a teacher ; a youth reared in Oberlin, molded under its influences, moving amid its scenes, dying in the bosom of its Christian sympathies. If this narrative has any power to interest and benefit the reader, we think it will be due to its simplicity, its truthful revealings of character, its testimony to God's faithfulness to his covenant with Christian parents, and as an illustration of the riches and power of his sanctifying grace.

To her parents and near relatives still living, it would have been far more pleasant if this memoir could have been equally truthful and instructive, without bringing before the public much if any of their own history as a family. It is due to them to say that, intent only on revealing her character as transformed by grace, for the sake of its testimony to the gospel, they did not at first foresee how much the record of her life must of necessity reveal the family of which she was a member; — otherwise the memoir would have remained unpublished. Even after the compilation was finished, the question of striking out and modifying these allusions to the living, was seriously agitated, and finally decided in the negative only in deference to the opinions of judicious friends.

PREFACE. O

That this brief memoir of a daughter, long the

subject of our parental solicitudes, love, prayer and

joy, may bo a blessing to many, is the hope and

prayer of

her surviving parents^

Oberlin^ June, 1856.

Introduction

I have had the privilege of listening to the reading of nearly the whole of this to me very interesting Memoir of an interesting young lady. It is perhaps impossible for one who has enjoyed a personal acquaintance with the subject of it, to judge how^ exactly, it will strike strangers. But I cannot doubt that it is destined to be perused by many, young and old, with much interest and with much spiritual x)rofit. The emotions it has excited in my own bosom have been too deep and strong to be ascribed chiefly to my personal interest in the beloved child of even highly esteemed friends and fellow-laborers of many years^ standing.

The compiler and author bore to the subject the too often ill-starred relation of step-mother. It was impossible to compile the Memoir at all, without sacrificing much of its interesting and instructive character, if she did not introduce frequent references to her own relations to the departed one, the course she pursued in training her mind and heart, and the way in which the strong-willed child that received her new mother with repugnance, iNTRODUCTiON. 7

was won to love her, and how step-sisters who met with mutual dislike came to be the most endeared of friends. The compiler's instinctive delicacy shrank from seeming self-laiidation, and prompted her to ask counsel of friends. I cannot doubt that the Memoir ought to go to the Christian public as it is, and that the very things which raise the natural doubts of the comxiler, constitute one of the chief merits of the book. Many a step-mother, ungraciously regarded by the children from whom she longs to receive a filial affection, weighed down with discouragement and despondency, will in pe* rusing this little volume, feel her spirits revived and her faith in God strengthened, and will be led to gird herself anew for her work. Many step-children will here learn lessons which will bless their minority and prepare them for a holy and happy maturity.

It has been one object of the compiler to let it be seen how a true young Christian acts amid the every day details of life; and hence the book is not a mere collection or selection of supposed gems, in incident or writing; but in it the youthful Christian heart is laid bare in all sorts of circumstances. I think many a young heart will here see what a grace, a nobleness, a felicity, true religion imparts to the blooming years of early life ; how superior the walk with God in the everlasting

8 INTRODUCTION.

way is to tlie highest walk in the spirit of this world. And this great idea is instructively illustrated in the occasional declensions of Helen in contrast with her faith and love unfaltering. Helen in unbehef, wandering from her Savior, was indeed a very different being from the same Helen in Christ in life and in death.

May Grod give this unpretending volume a wide circulation, going forth as it does baptised with the prayers and tears of parents whose happiness it was to enjoy such a daughter for a season, and then to see her step so evidently from their house and • her beloved earthly home into the more glorious house of her Heavenly Father.

JOHN MOKGAN, Prof. Bib. Lit, Oberlin College.

OR,

LIFE OF HELEN M. COWLES.

CHAPTEE L

Helen Maria Cowles was the eldest child of Rev. Henry Cowles, a native of Colebrook, Conn., a graduate of Yale College, and at the time of her birth, pastor of a Congregational Church in Austinburg, Ashtabula Co., Ohio. Her mother, Mrs. Alice W. Cowles was also of New England 'origin — the daughter of Dr. Benjamin Welch of Norfolk, Conn.

Helen was born Aug. 10, 1831. From her earliest infancy she was consecrated to God and considered by her parents as entirely his, and only lent them for a season to rear and initiate into his service. With the mother particularly, this was an all-absorbing study, — = **How shall we order the child?"

With regard to her baptism, we find recorded in her mother's diary, *' I felt an assurance of Helen's salvation from sin and ruin," and again under another date, but while H. was still m her infancy, we read, <'I will be a God to thee and to thy seed after thee;'^— "In this promise will I confide. Dear Savior, I now renew the dedication of this my first-born to Thee. I trust thee to arrange the circumstances of her future life so that she will early be brouglit nigh unto thee, and serve thee faithfully through time and through eternity. I would ask nothing else for her. Help me, or any one else who may influence her mind, to bend all our exertions to this one point. I would give her plain food that she may retain her vigorous constitution and be able to endure hardness as a good soldier, and plain dress that she may not cherish pride and vanity, so hostile to the spirit of her Master. I would guard against speaking of the beauty of her attire, but make cleanliness, warmth and comfort constitute their excellence. Thus, in every thing, while life lasts, would I have in view my vows in regard to her. Give me more light, O! thou Father of light, In thy providence direct to the r'ght sources for information upon this momentous subject."

Helen gave early promise of an active and intelligent mind, but a strong and determined will, which caused her parents much solicitude, and led them to apply continually to the Source of all wisdom. Many little incidents noted in her mother's diary, show that her wisdom and patience were often severly taxed. Disobedience was one of her earliest faults. The first instance mentioned was when she was old enough to talk. She came into the room and, in imitation of the housemaid, threw back the corners of the carpet and began to pour down water and wash the floor. Her mother observed her, but said nothing until she began to pour water behind the cupboard, when she told her earnestly to j^our no more ivater there. The child persisted, but was told again decidedly to stop. She continued to pour the water, but looked around at her mother and said, "I will be naughty now and then go in the bedroom," alluding to that form of punishment for naughtiness. By this time she had poured out all the water and was on her way to the bedroom, where she staid but a short time. When she came out her mother told her she had been a very naughty girl and ought to be confined longer. She immediately returned, saying, " I will pray to the Lord ; '' and immediately knelt down and said, '* O Lord, take care of me now. I am a naughty girl and poured water, and would not obey, but poured more, more, more."

Again and again a spirit of disobedience was still more manifest, and in regard to it her mother wrote thus; ''Helen will surely get the reins out of my hands unless judicious and persevering efforts are used. It is evident she is struggling for it." By and by, from being frank and open-hearted, she became sly, and by degrees, deceptive, and at length untruthful. This latter fault was most promptly, and, it is believed, successfully met, with instruction, warning, and correction.

CHAPTEE II.

Helen's developments of character were by no means all of this stamp. She was remarkably intelligent for her years, and generally pleasant and amiable. She seemed, too, at a very early age, to be seriously impressed with gospel truth. She was encouraged always to express her wants to God in her own language, fully and freely. This, she early accustomed herself to do, and specimens of her simplicity and earnestness were sometimes listened to, and preserved, by her mother. The following are fair samples of them. <* O, may I not leave a single sin out, but may I put them all away this very minute." Upon another occasion — *' O Lord, do take care of me, if I hav^nt prayed in a good while." Once, in the absence of her father, when she was about six years old, she prayed thus; '* O Lord, do hear us now, as we pray for dear pa, who has gone to do good for thee, I hope. O bless him, and may he love and serve thee, and if Satan comes to him, may he fight him and hold on to thee. And O! if Mr. W. or L. preach to-night may they do much good, and may all become Christians so that this may be a happy world. May we study thy book through and through, and through again. And now as I am the oldest, may I seta good example before my brothers; and do bless them and not let them grow wicked and get into jail, and do help M, to be a Christian and pour out thy Spirit upon her."

In the autumn of 1835 when she was four years old, her father accepted a call to a Professorship in the Literary Institution recently established at Oberlin, Lorain Co., Ohio, in consequence of which he removed thither with his family in the month of September.

In the following spring, Mrs. Cowles was appointed Principal of the Female Department of that Institution, which situation she held for more than four years. During this time, with the sole care of from sixty to one hundred young ladies resting upon her, her children were neccessarily much under the care and direction of others. The most pious and judicious among the young ladies were selected to aid her in this department, but no one could supply to her the lack of a mother's presence and influence.

Helen was at a very impressible age, was quite a pet among the ladies, and a frequent visitor at their rooms. But the effect of these circumstances upon her was decidedly unfavorable. She acquired an almost insatiable curiosity and love of exciteiflent, as well as an impatience of contradiction. Her naturally strong will acquired greater strength, and a habit of fretfulness and impatience was firmly woven into the texture of her character.

These evils were noticed with sorrow by her parents, and made a subject of special prayer, while at the same time they improved diligently what opportunities they could command, with efforts to counteract them. There were times when the counsel and example of the parents seemed to predominate, and hopes were entertained that these evils would be but temporary. Upon one of these occasions, in the absence of the father, the mother wrote him thus. ''And is it really so? Helen, for more than a day, has been one of the best little girls we often see. When she awoke she said to pfie — 'Let us pray, Ma, before we get up.'~ She says, 'The worst thing, I believe, Ihat I do, is, fretting when they dress me in the morning.' In the course of the day she said to me, "O Ma, I felt so troubled last night, I could not sleep ; and then T thought how Christ would have me do, and I just left myself with him." Who can doubt but what the .Holy Spirit is giving her light? Let it be our prayer and expectation that he will cause her to love the light."