Memoir of Mrs. Sarah Louisa Taylor

Front matter

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MEMOIR

Preface

A regard for established usage, seems to require of the writer, a statement of the reasons, which induced him to prepare this Memoir. When the request was first made, he unhesitatingly declined, supposing it impossible, that, in the midst of so many pressing engagements, he could find the necessary time. This difficulty could only be obviated, by increased economy in the employment of those " leisure moments which" it is said, "even the busiest may create."

The principal circumstance, which led to the proposal and its final acceptance, was the fact, that no other person enjoyed the same facilities for becoming acquainted with the views and feelings of Mrs. Taylor, the last year of her life. Having, by her request, regularly visited her as one of the sick under his care, he became familiar with her spiritual condition, her mode of regarding divine truth, and whatever pertained to the life of religion in the soul.

Had he persevered in declining the request, her friends would still have relied upon his aid, in furnishing the particulars of that year ; in a spiritual point of view, the most interesting in.

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Vi PREFACE.

her history. To delineate this period in a proper manner, a reference to the early part of her life would be indispensable. He might also add, that he felt a deep interest in the subject, with a strong conviction, that if suitably prepared, it could not fail to be useful.

It may be expedient for the author to refer to one particular, in order to remove the possibility of an unfavorable inference. Mrs. Taylor was, for a long time, awake to the importance of religion, and in great distress of mind, before she derived comfort from the hope of the gospel. The continuance of her sufferings, arose from her resisting the strivings of the Holy Spirit, and refusing to yield her heart to the Lord. So fully did she afterwards embrace this view of the subject, that she earnestly entreated her young friends, not to follow her example. This caution seems necessary, lest any, from perusing the account of such 'protracted mental agony, should conclude, that it was essential to a work of divine grace.

Would all, who are awakened to a sense of their own sinfulness, and grieved, and burdened, on account of their sins, cast themselves with singleness of heart upon the merits of Jesus, looking to him alone for salvation, they would find peace and joy in believing. Their distress and darkness continue, because they are unwilling to bow to the sovereign will of Jehovah, and receive the Saviour as he is offered in the Bible j — when the spirit is truly broken and contrite, the consolations of the gospel will have a place in the heart.

PREFACE. Vll

The work is submitted to the public, with the fervent prayer, that it may subserve the interests of our holy religion, and be the means of leading many to the fountain of eternal truth.

New York, May 1, 1838.

Chapter I

Birth of Mrs. Taylor — Attachment to books — Connexion with the Sunday School — Removal to Colchester — Member of Bacon Academy — Sudden death of a former schoolmate — Filial duty — Early friendships — Religious impressions — Return to her parental home. , .... 13

Chapter II

Preparation for a new sphere— Journey to New York — Disappointment — Extract from her Journal — Pleasure in Teaching — Sympathy for the afflicted — Sickness— Letter to Mrs. S. — Death of her cousin — Correspondence— Letter from Miss M. E. C. — Spiritual condition — Obituary notice of Mrs. Vose.

Chapter III

Visit to Connecticut — Strivings of the Holy Spirit — Harlan Page— Pastoral fidelity — Description of the Christian character — Peace and joy in believing — Letters to Miss N. — Important resolution. ,51

Chapter IV

Mrs. Taylor's baptism — Obligations of the christian covenant — Peculiar qualification for instructing— Unwearied efforts — Increase of the circle of her friends — Delightful scenery- Importance of daily studying the Bible — Correspondence —

X CONTENTS.

Solicitude for the spiritual welfare of her relatives — Letter of consolation — Excursion up the Hudson—Religious enjoyment — Aged servant of God. , , , . .76

Chapter V

Extract from Mrs. Taylor's diary — Severe trial — Affectionate entreaty — Resolutions at the commencement of a new year —Teacher's meeting— A family in eternity — Notice of Mrs. Judson — Desire for a missionary life — Rev. Mr. Clark's Bible class — Israelites entering into covenant with God — Ceasing of the manna — Sinful league with the Gibeonites. . 100

Chapter VI

Painful sundering of ties — Visit to Saybrook — Beautiful landscape — Conversation with an unbeliever — Pleasing sketch — Persuasive letter to her sister — Value of christian society- Sense of responsibility— Comparison between Athens and New York — Fidelity in impressing divine truth upon her scholars — Memoirs of Mrs. Huntington— Spiritual conflicts — Increased endeavors after holiness 127

Chapter. VII

Self-examination—" Advice to a young christian" — Female biography — Arduous duties of her school — Dangerous illness of a sister — Interesting seasons with her pupils — Reflections at the close of the year — Bishop M'llvaine — Divine purposes in permitting some of the Canaanites to remain in the Holy Land — Tendency of afflictions to draw the heart to God — Affecting case of destitution and suffering — Letter from Rev. J. A. Clark 154

Chapter. VIII

Blessed result of faithful labors— Review of her past life — Devotional exercises— Sickness and death of a beloved sister—

CONTENTS XI

Poetical tribute to her memory — Visit to Middle Haddam — A sister's grave — Removal to Paterson — Favorable circumstances attending the change — Words of comfort to a friend.

Chapter IX

Sanctified afflictions — Renewed ardor in the performance of duty — Death regarded as near — Cheerful acquiescence in the divine will— Increase of strength — Return to the city — Gratitude for past mercies — Winter spent in retirement — Preparation for new duties— High estimate of missionary services.

Chapter X

Marriage — Solicitude for divine guidance — Cholera — Death of Mrs. Tillotson — Adopted daughter— Family of the christian — Vicissitudes of life— Commencement of the author's acquaintance with Mrs Taylor. . , . . .210

CHAPTER XL

Severe illness — Consolations of the gospel — Importance of maternal duties — Care of a family relinquished — Temporary separation from her children — Journey to Philadelphia — Summer residence in New Jersey — Correspondence — Advice to a candidate for the ministry — Continued indisposition — Trust in God 221.

Chapter XII

Consultation of Physicians— Hope of life relinquished — Final parting with her children— Letters written on the trying occasion — A mother's advice to her children— Depression of spirits — Importance of keeping the Saviour steadily in view.

Xll CONTENTS.

Chapter XIII

Renewal of enjoyment — Memento of a beloved friend — Duty of christians to live near to God— Value of Sympathy— Observance of the Lord's day— Gratifying exhibition of faith and love — Claims of the heathen 254

Chapter XIV

Christian character as seen the last year of her life — Circulation of tracts — Foretaste of the happiness of the Redeemed— Death of her sister Mary — Lines addressed to her eldest son — To her youngest son on his birthday — To her adopted daughter — Parental solicitude^- Utility of Sunday schools.

Chapter XV

Power of the gospel — Deep interest in the condition of the sick and necessitous — Special instance of the benign effect of religion — Mrs. Taylor's last letter from New- York — Departure from the city — Comfortable situation with her relatives — Elevated state of her affections — Closing scene — Letter from Rev. A. L 279

Chapter. XVI

Review of Mrs. Taylor's Character. — dualities as a Teacher — Admiration of the works of nature — Fervor and consistency of her piety and friendship, by Rev. C. H. — Letter from Dr. J. A. Mc V. — Her christian character, by Rev. O. W. — The mother taking leave of her children, by W. C. — The Missionary's Prayer — Sketch in miniature — Conclusion. . 301

MEMOIR.

Chapter I

Birth of Mrs. Taylor — Attachment to Books — Connexion with the Sunday School — Removal to Colchester — Member of Bacon Academy — Sudden death of a former schoolmate — Filial duty — Early friendships — Religious impressions — Return to her parental home.

When we stand on the banks of a beautiful river, and behold its accumulated waters moving gently but with stately grandeur to the ocean ; we would not repress the desire which naturally arises, to trace those waters to their distant source ; to follow the rivulet as it winds along avoiding obstructions, receiving its tributary streams, acquiring additional force, and sweeping away the strongest barriers of nature. What more dissimilar than the humble rill and the majestic stream ! yet we love to contemplate them together, to consider them as one and the same river, and to observe the successive gradations of its course.

With equal interest in the moral world, when we stand by the couch of the dying christian and perceive the immortal spirit gathering strength for its upward flight, see it triumphing over the weakness and sufferings of this mortal frame, and rejoicing, yea, glorying, in tribulation ; we would learn by what process this wonderful achievement has been made, whence the agency that has been exerted, and how the undying spirit in this house of clay, may be transformed and prepared for the realms of glory.

An illustration of these particulars will be attempted in the following memoir.

Mrs. Sarah Louisa Taylor, third daughter of William and Mary Ann Foote, was born at East Haddam, Connecticut, January 18, 1809. The early years of her life were spent beneath the parental roof, in the enjoyment of that kindly intercourse by which members of the same family are strongly endeared to each other. Here her habits were formed, and those affections called into exercise, which constituted so powerful an attraction in subsequent years. While she was beloved by every member of the domestic circle, and was ever anxious to render herself useful, she evinced an ardent attachment to books. They had sufficient power over her to diminish her interest in childish amusements. She attended the district schools in the vicinity of her residence, and became familiar with the branches usually taught in them. In the tenth year of her age she was sent to a select school in Glastenbury, where she commended herself, by close attention to her studies, the propriety of her deportment, and especially the kindness of her feelings, to the favorable regard of all who knew her. Some of the intimacies here contracted were continued to the end of her days.

For several years, she attended the Sunday School of St. Luke's church in this town. — To those who knew her subsequently as the persevering and faithful teacher ; it will be interesting to think of her taking the first lessons in the capacity of a scholar. The truths then instilled into her mind were never forgotten. They were the germ, which eventually produced much fruit.

Her earliest writings evince a playfulness of fancy, a lively and vigorous conception of the various peculiarities in the character and disposition of her associates ; while they breathe so affectionate a spirit that none could take offence. She selected from her favourite authors those passages with which she was most delighted. It was her constant aim to turn her reading to some valuable account. That she often pursued a serious train of thought, is evident from the reflections she made on various subjects. In March, 1821, she expresses herself in an interesting and affecting manner on the passage, " Thou God seest me." The thought that the eye of God was continually upon her, seems to have been in some degree realized, and to have awakened for the time deep emotions of awe and reverence. Yet we are not permitted to rank her among the number of those, who, in the very morn and freshness of their lives, made an entire surrender of themselves to the service of God. At this period no member of her father's family was connected with "the household of faith ;" and the opinions, she was accustomed to hear advanced on religious subjects, were materially different from those which she subsequently embraced.

In the winter of 1824, she became a member of Bacon Academy in the town of Colchester. At this institution she enjoyed excellent advantages for improving her mind and regulating her affections. None made greater proficiency in their studies, or secured in a higher degree the esteem and confidence of their teachers and associates. She was prompt to every call of duty and so demeaned herself as to be recommended for an example to others. Though diligently employed during the week, she was far from being indolent on the Lord's day. By the laws of the Academy, all the pupils were required to attend public worship and to hand to their instructors on Monday morning, an abstract of the sermons they had heard. Many regarded this exercise as a task, and devised expedients to relieve themselves from it. She found in it much to interest, and considered the results so beneficial, that she continued the practice the greater part of her life. She joined a Bible class connected with the Sunday School, and afterwards became a teacher in the school ; in each situation, evincing an earnest desire to profit by her privileges, and to make them contribute to the most valuable purposes.

The dispensations of Providence always produced a powerful effect upon her. They induced her to recur to the truths of the Bible, and to realize the fleeting nature of all terrestrial objects. In the summer of this year one of her former schoolmates was called to make a sudden exchange of worlds. To the friend who conveyed the intelligence she thus writes : —

" Colchester, July 6, 1824.

" My dear A.

" Yours of the 1st inst. was received with pleasure, but its contents filled my heart with the deepest sorrow. Can it be possible, I was ready to exclaim, that our valued friend is no more ? When we last saw her, she was young, gay, and thoughtless, and probably put far off the evil day, but in an unexpected moment the ' fell destroyer* came, and triumphed over all that was lovely and amiable. How forcibly 2* this event should impress us with a sense of the shortness of life, and the vanity of those things to which we are most attached. Every object to which we direct our thoughts, affords striking proof, that its duration is short. Its fluctuations and changes are often sudden. The transition from time to the untried scenes of eternity, may take place in the most unexpected moment.

" Perhaps while the individual is forming plans for future years, thoughtless of death and eternity, the summons comes, he is arrested in his course, his strong frame yields.— No mortal arm can avert the impending stroke. No power can rescue him from the embrace of death.

" If we look at the receptacle of the silent dead ; will not our hearts acknowledge, that ' life's a dream,' a shadow that passeth quickly away ? There we behold an end of all earthly distinctions. The young and the old, the rich and the poor, lie mouldering in the same native dust.

"Alluding to the dying scene of our friend, you say, * death was indeed unexpected and unwelcome — an unlooked for visiter.' Are we not all liable to be called as suddenly ? Do we not act unwisely, to place our whole affections on the transitory objects of time? We are young, and ardently desire to enjoy happiness ; but if we imagine that this world alone can afford us enjoyment, we shall be sorely disappointed.

All the alluring forms of earth are deceptive ; they are airy phantoms, which will soon vanish. Why do we so eagerly grasp at these, and seek not those pleasures, which flow from God's right hand forevermore ? We must pass through the dark valley, and, like those who have gone before us, lie down in silence. Our names will be buried in oblivion. New generations will arise, and fill the places we now occupy. These will be succeeded by others, till the trump of the archangel shall proclaim ' that time shall be no longer.'

"That we may both realize the uncertainty and vanity of earthly things, and the necessity of being prepared for death, is the sincere desire of your affectionate friend,

It is gratifying to perceive that while she was the most completely engrossed by the various duties of the Academy, she was ever mindful of those to whom she was bound by the ties of nature and affection. Though separated from her immediate relatives, her interest was not diminished in any thing that pertained to them. In November we find her engaged in the delightful employment of comforting her mother in the midst of severe trials. There are few situations in which a daughter appears to more advantage, than when attempting to pour the balm of consolation into a parent's heart. Her affectionate solicitude will naturally suggest, such topics as most effectually withdraw the mind from the sources of its sorrow, and lead it to dwell upon brighter and more cheering views. This was the course pursued by Miss Foote. Though she could not speak, from her own experience, of those joys which the Lord often grants to his children, in seasons of tribulation, yet she believed in their existence, and was fully persuaded, that the only substantial support which mortals can obtain in this vale of tears, must be derived from the Eternal Jehovah. Hence she desired that her afflicted parent might remember, that all events are ordered in Infinite Wisdom, that trials and afflictions are necessary to wean us from an undue attachment to the world, and reminded her of the promise "As our day is so shall our strength be." " You have never been forsaken in the time of trouble. Relief is often imparted in the way we least expect it." Children never have reason to regret such manifestations of filial regard. Were they more solicitious to be a comfort to those who watched over them in infancy, their path through life would be less rugged. They would be delivered from a frequent cause of anguish.

In the early part of 1825, Miss Foote spent several months in teaching a class of small children, in the Academy, and then resumed her situation as a pupil, and continued to the end of the year, with the same industry and perseverance for which she had previously been distinguished. Her attainments were, in every point of view, highly creditable. Mr. Vose, at that time the Principal of the Academy, gave the most ample testimony to the excellence of her character, the solidity and extent of her acquirements, and her general qualifications to make herself useful as a teacher. With his amiable and accomplished lady, Mrs. Elizabeth Q. Vose, she enjoyed much profitable intercourse, and after leaving Colchester, maintained a correspondence with her, fraught with sentiments of mutual attachment and affection, which was only interrupted by the death of her beloved Preceptress. Here she formed many friendships, which were destined to survive the passing hour. The influence they exerted upon her, so far as it can be ascertained from her own writings, or the letters of her correspondents, was salutary. The place itself was endeared to her by many powerful associations. She was comparatively free from care, deeply interested in whatever she engaged, alive to the comfort and happiness of others, greeted by the approving smile of her instructers, and a welcome companion in every circle.

It may be thought that, under such circumstances, she would be little inclined to reflect on the great purpose for which she was brought into the world ; that the concerns of the immortal soul would be entirely banished from her mind. Such a conelusion respecting her would be unjust. She reflected much on religious subjects, and was solemnly impressed with the necessity of living to the glory of God. Advancing in divine knowledge, she gave the full assent of her understanding to those doctrines which are the most humbling to human pride. She saw the truth, admired its beauty, was at times affected by it, but remained a stranger to its renovating power. Her writings show most clearly, that she renounced every foundation of human hope, which the ingenuity of man has devised, and was convinced that salvation could only be obtained, by rich unmerited grace, through Jesus Christ. The Bible unfolded to her view that glorious plan, by which the law of Jehovah could be magnified and command universal respect, while the penitent sinner could have access to the Mercy Seat, and, trusting in the Saviour's merits, receive a comforting evidence of the forgiveness of his sins. Yet she dwelt with painful emotions on the condition of those, who reject the overtures of mercy, and treasure up wrath against the day of wrath.

Having spoken of the intestimable value of the Bible ; she recurs, under date of Oct. 21., in a touching manner, to those who are unenlightened and unaffected by its truths, " No voice from the sacred desk makes known to them the glad tidings of salvation. No humble heartfelt prayer ascends to Him, who alone has power to forgive sin and to purify the heart. The blood of immortal beings marks the wheels of the car, which bears along the terrific object, before which thousands bow. Whose heart does not melt with compassion for such infatuated beings ? — But will not the condemnation of those in christian lands be far more severe, who, with a knowledge of the way of salvation, pass heedlessly down to the grave? Suppose an individual of this description on the verge of eternity. When his offences appear in their true light, would he not gladly recall the time he has spent, it may be, in reviling the very truths, which now fill him with anguish. He is conscious that he must soon enter the presence of his God, and knows that he is unprepared. Where can he go for solace ? This blessed book does indeed proclaim pardon to the repenting sinner, rest to the weary, and eternal life to those who continue faithful unto the end. But does it not, with equal clearness, proclaim tribulation and anguish to all who grow bold in iniquity ? Has he time now to make his peace with an offended God? Who can give him the assurance that the day of mercy is not forever closed ?"

Dec. 2, 1825, She thus writes : " How seldom we reflect on our obligations to love, reverence, and obey, our Creator. What blessing do we enjoy, that we have not received from him ? When we consider the future happiness in reserve for the righteous, and the inevitable misery of those who love not God, neither obey his commandments, how can we refrain from yielding our hearts entirely to him ? Did we realize the compassion of that Saviour, who, when ' There was no eye to pity, and no arm to save,' left the bosom of the Father in the realms of glory, and submitted to the ignominious death of the cross, that he might make atonement for our sins ; could we withhold from him our best affections ? Can we refuse to consecrate ourselves to his service, without being guilty of the basest ingratitude, and incurring the wrath of the Almighty which abideth forever ?"

"With these convictions of truth and duty, in a few weeks from this time, she took leave of her friends in Colchester, where she had spent two happy years, returned to the home of her childhood, and made arrangements for entering on a new sphere of action.

Chapter II

Preparation for a new sphere — Journey to New York. — Disappointment — Extracts from her Journal — Pleasure in Teaching — Sympathy for the afflicted — Sickness — Letter to Mrs. S. — Death of a cousin — Correspondence — Letter from Miss. M. E. C. — Spiritual condition — Obituary notice of Mrs. Vose.

The period at which we have arrived in the life of Miss Foote, is one of deep interest to the young, being a transition from pupilage, to a condition in which it is necessary that they should act for themselves, form their own plans, rely upon their own judgment, and pursue a career of usefulness and respectability. They stand on a point, from which they look forward to the future, with buoyant hopes, and nattering expectations. The world is before them ; and they often imagine that they have only to express the wish, and act accordingly, and every thing will transpire in conformity to that wish. Their intercourse having chiefly been with those of their own age, devoted to similar pursuits ; a new, and, to them untrodden path, is to be entered. They find that the world, which their fancy had portrayed, is very different from that of real life. Their most 3 confident expectations are frequently disappointed. They are constrained to take lessons in a school where they have never been disciplined, the school of experience. God in great mercy permits them to see the weakness of their own strength, the futility of many of their plans. He leads them in a way they have not known, by counsels they have never fathomed, that he may prepare them for the stations they are hereafter to occupy. Happy are they who early choose him for their portion, and in the midst of these vicissitudes, have an anchor to their souls sure and steadfast.

Miss Foote had for some time contemplated devoting herself to the instruction of youth, an employment which she had regarded as affording peculiar facilities for doing good. She knew that success in acquiring knowledge, is no sure evidence of an aptness to teach, and that obstacles might interfere, to prevent even an entrance on an employment fondly sought. Being prepared to make the trial, she left her father's house on the 3d of May, 1826, with the intention of opening a school in the city of New- York. Thus at the age of seventeen, she was going into the world, uncertain who would seek her friendship, or with what intent. She seemed, on taking leave of her connexions, to be parting from them for life. Her mother accompanied her to Norwich, where she went on board a packet, and with a pleasant circle of friends, after a passage of three days through the sound, " admiring the romantic and delightful scenery," arrived at New- York. She went directly to the residence of her cousin, Mrs. M. A. J., who gave her a " cordial reception." On this occasion she made the following entry in her journal. "I shall not soon forget the adventures of the past week, nor the friends who have added to my enjoyment. We have separated, it may be never to meet again on this side of eternity." In a few days she made herself familiar with the prominent objects of interest around her. Here was the field of her future labors, the sphere of duty marked out by the Providence of God. Here was her spiritual birth place, and here too, with the exception of an occasional absence of a few months, she passed the remainder of her days. The various circumstances by which she was affected, will claim our notice, so far as they develope the agency of that unseen Power, which controlleth all events. Incidents comparatively trifling may have an important influence upon us ; or indicate the prevailing state of our minds. The disappointments and afflictions of life are not without their effect. We learn wisdom from experience, acquire a greater knowledge of ourselves, and become better qualified to perform aright our respective duties.

The endeavors of Miss Foote to engage in her favorite pursuit, were not crowned with immediate success. Weeks and months elapsed, seasons of doubt and apprehension, before the object she had so much at heart, seemed in a train of accomplishment. The anxiety necessarily attending a state of suspense, together with the uncertainty of the future, revived her serious impressions, and led her to perceive, with increasing clearness, that she was relying too much upon her own strength. On the first of June she writes, " Another month is numbered, with the ' years beyond the flood.' Since the commencement of the last month, how many scenes I have passed through. What hopes and fears have alternately filled my bosom ! Is it not sinful for me to devote my mind so exclusively to terrestrial objects, without duly considering those things which concern not only my present, but eternal welfare ? How vain are all human exertions without the blessing of heaven !"

Her conscience often reproved her for a neglect of duty, particularly for being deficient in a due observance of the Lord's day, not that she allowed herself to abstain from public worship, but that her thoughts were not suitably employed in meditating upon divine truth. She speaks in her journal of the improper manner in which she had spent these hallowed hours, and of the little effect, produced upon her by what she heard. On one occasion she observes with apparent emotion, " Oft I frequent God's holy house and hear almost in vain." " How little do I know of my own heart, of its proneness to deceive, and of its evil desires !"