Memoirs of Mrs. Hawkes, late of Islington

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Preface

The Christian experience of Mrs. Hawkes, which is now presented to the public, possesses a character common to that of other believers, as it may be traced to the operation of the Holy Spirit. On this account it ought to be considered precious in itself; apart from those considerations which, in the present instance, concur to render it valuable to others. It is not often that so many advantages unite to render the experience of a Christian profitable to the public in general. To find the deepest views of the evil of sin, in a person whose moral character was, through life, the most exemplary; — the clearest views of the doctrines of grace, with a strict and conscientious regard to their practical tendency; — the strongest and most simple faith, ever in connexion with the penitence of her who washed the Saviour's feet with her tears;~^a love to God truly filial, ever blended with reverential fear; and a humility which was as the clothing of her soul;---to find the cheerful affectionate friend, ever administering to others, in the same person with the oppressed and afflicted sufferer, — where patience had, by means of constant trial, its perfect work;— these are fruits of the Spirit so precious in themselves, and so rare in their combination, that they require to be made manifest. " Is a candle brought to be put under a bushel, or under a bed? and not to be set on a candlestick?"

The subject of this Memoir was little known out of her own circle. But the same reasons which induced the inspired writers to record the names of Lydia, " whose heart

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the Lord opened to attend to the things spoken by Paul," apply strongly to the present case. Thus also the Scripture speaks of" the woman named Damans/' and of " Dionysius the Areopagite," of whom nothing is recorded except that they " believed." This may appear of little consequence to the world : but the Holy Spirit thus teaches us that the greatest works go on in the secret chambers of the heart, and in private life. When our Saviour bruised Satan's Empire — the greatest work that men or angels ever beheld,— the field of action was narrow, and the world saw little in it to attract attention. X et to tne eve °f faith, there is presented in the. confined spot of Calvary, a stu T pendous work of power, wisdom, and goodness, which % Angels, desire to look into." And among the names re^ corded on that solemn occasion, we find those of the few women who attended our Saviour's crucifixion, and who were, properly affected by that sight. Matt, xxyii. 56.— Luke xxiii. 48.

Another inducement to the publication of these Memoirs is, that Mrs. Hawkes' records of her experience are left, (without the least idea on her part of their, ever seeing, the light, but as the natural result of her cultivated and intelligent mind,) in a form suited both ta delight and profit the serious Reader. In this history there is not much variety of incident. The design of the work is to exhibit the spiritual exercises of her mind, and to, follow out her Christian experience under a continued course ,qf affliction*

The Sermons and other materials of this compilation, which may appear foreign to the Memoir, have npt, properly speaking, been introduced by the Biographer. They were found so interspersed and interwoven in almost every page of Mrs, Hawkes' diary, that it would have been difficult to separate them. It is however believed that they will be found interesting, and instructive. The same must

PREFACE. Vll

be observed respecting the various allusions to Mr. Cecil's family, (of which Mrs. Hawkes was for several years a member^) and which could not have been- omitted without breaking the thread of her private experience and history.

Neither must it be forgotten that the fine character of Mrs. Hawkes was developed under the immediate training of Mr. Cecil's ministry and converse. She was a " plant of his hand, a child of his prayer ;" and it is not surprising that where there existed the relation of spiritual father and daughter, there should result a degree of mental and moral affinity, giving colour to Mrs. Hawkes' intellectual and religious character, and- appearing in her remains.

In Mrs. Hawkes' correspondence there will be found a beautiful specimen of the communion of saints; all the letters introduced contain some practical instruction, and breathe the pure spirit of Christianity. She was a person fraught with so much sympathy, and so deeply exercised in the school of affliction, that every mourner sought to her as a general friend. Both her verbal and written admonitions ever contained the most judicious counsel, and were delivered in the most benevolent and affectionate manner.

In the early part of the work there is a large selection from the letters of Mrs, Hawkes' sister, Mrs,. Jones, — who was also a very eminent Christian. Her style of writing is both lively and interesting ; and her letters, ever present religion in an elevating and encouraging poin^ of view.

Should it seem to any one unacquainted with Mrs. Hawkes, that her character has been drawn, by partiality, it is here seriously affirmed, that every statement has been made from an entire conviction of its truth; and under a deep sense of the solemn obligations under which a Biographer lies, to add nothing in a way of panegyric.

There are not many who have been favoured with equal opportunities with myself of knowing intimately the

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deceased, or of partaking so largely of her instructions. It was perhaps a duty, when intrusted with her manuscript books and papers, not to hide the talent in a napkin; but rather to " gather up the fragments " left by this valuable character, and present them to the public in the form of a Memoir.

The employment has furnished both delight and improvement. It is impossible to trace closely " the path of the just" without being cheered, as well as directed, by the light which shines upon it. If a regret arises that a stronger hand was not employed to hold up this shining light to others, it may be remembered, that a lamp loses nothing pf its light from being carried by a feeble hand.

May the Great Head of the Church condescend to accept, and bless, what has been now done in dependence upon his grace; making it conduce to the encouragement and assistance of his members upon earth, and especially to the promotion of his own glory.

Chapter I. From Her Birth To Her Marriage

FROM A. D. 1759, TO ABOUT 1785.

Introductory remarks — Her birth — Piety of her parents — Concern for the conversion of their children — Gaiety of Mrs. Hawkes in her younger years — Her love of music and reading — Her marriage.

The devout and discerning reader will not have proceeded far in this volume, without feeling that it displays a character of unusual vigour in the Christian life: and it is believed that no such reader will close the volume, without thanking God for the examples which it offers of faith and wisdom in his servants, and the evidence which it gives of his own gracious dealings.

The subject of the following Memoir evidently belongs to that company spoken of in Rev. vii. 14. " These are they which came out of great tribulation, and have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb:" and the precious faith which she obtained, " though tried with fire, will be found unto praise, and honour, and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." 1 Peter i. 7.

The intention of the following pages is to manifest, chiefly by a reference to the diary and letters of the deceased, the supporting and purifying nature of that faith which she had embraced; and the genuine humility which accompanied her high attainments in the school of Christ.

Three sources of affliction may be marked in the history of this eminent servant of God. In the early part of her married life she enjoyed worldly prosperity, — but was severely exercised by domestic trials. To this course of discipline succeeded the loss of affluence and ease; which reduced her to a state of dependence on the bounty of others. These trials were augmented during the latter years of her life by very acute and unusual bodily sufferings; — and throughout this course, it is most instructive and encouraging to witness the power of religion in sustaining her spirit, and in raising her above all her complicated and lengthened trials.

Mrs. Hawkes was born in the year 1759, at Broad Marston in Gloucestershire, where her parents resided. She was the youngest of thirteen children, five of whom died in childhood. Her father, Mr. Thomas Eden, was a person of strong sense and real piety. He was intimately acquainted with the Rev. John Wesley; and his house was always open for the reception of that eminent servant of God, and his accompanying preachers, in their annual circuit visits to that place. Mr. Wesley used to preach, on these occasions, at Pebworth church, in a neighbouring village: but to provide more frequent opportunities for preaching the gospel, Mr. Eden built a small chapel at Broad Marston, near to his own house, the services of which were always performed by Mr. Wesley's preachers.* Mr. Eden also left an estate, of about £60 a year, to be expended in several parishes, for the education of children, from the age of five years, until they were able to go to work.

We may revert with equal pleasure to the Christian character of Mrs. Eden. It appears that devoted piety, and strict attention to maternal duties, rendered her equally valuable both as a wife and a mother. The instructions which she gave her children were continually watered by her prayers and tears, as well as illustrated by her example.

Though there are sad instances to the contrary, yet it has been often seen that eminently pious parents have been blessed with eminently pious children. The command " Train up a child in the way that he should go," is connected with the promise, " and when he is old, he will not depart from it." St. Paul, when bearing testimony to the unfeigned faith of Timothy, calls to remembrance that which also dwelt first in his grandmother Lois, and his mother Eunice. A short extract from a letter of Mrs. Eden's, dated Dec. 178X, addressed to her second daughter Mrs. Jones, will enable the reader to form some idea of Mrs. Eden's feelings both with respect to herself and her children. She writes as follows:—

* The reader will remember that at the period when Mr. Eden lived, the Church of England was in a lamentably torpid state, which induced many of its pious members to encourage lay preachers,

M I thankfully acknowledge the loving-kindness of the Lord, in carrying on his good work in my soul. Truly can I say, it is my desire to live entirely to his glory. Blessed be God, my health is much mended of late; and I trust the Lord will spare me longer, to make me fitter to enjoy his blissful presence in a glorious eternity. I hope you and Mr. Jones go on well, and press after greater depths of humble love, and more of the image of your heavenly Father. I have many cares and fears: but I cast them all on him who careth for me. The souls of my dear children lie heavily on my heart: but through mercy, I find myself more than ever resigned to the will of God; and I desire to leave all to him, and live only to his glory."

In this case, however, as in many others, the faith and patience of these pious parents were to be tried by not witnessing the speedy conversion of those children, for whose spiritual life, they had indeed " travailed in birth until Christ should be formed in them." The bread cast upon the water was, nevertheless, found after many days. Not only the subject of this memoir, but several of the other children of these pious parents lived to become ornaments to society, and died in the faith of the Gospel.

It may seem surprising that, with so many religious advantages, the younger days of Miss Sarah Eden, afterwards Mrs. Hawkes, should have been marked by the love of gaiety and amusement. But it must ever be remembered, that true piety is not hereditary. How good soever the seed may be which has been sown, and how diligently soever it may have been watered, God alone can " give the increase." The same work of regenerating grace which was needful for the conversion of the parent, is equally indispensable for the conversion of the child. This truth needs, perhaps, to be more deeply considered by Christian parente. An entire reliance on the work of Divine grace, without any abatement of those efforts which are the absolute duty of parents, might cause the blessing to descend more speedily. Still, it must be acknowledged, that grace is sovereign; and this respects both the time and manner of conversion. The subject of this memoir was left for a season to seek satisfaction where it never could be found. To gratify her strong intellect by reading, — though disregarding a wise selection of books: to indulge her passionate fondness for music: and to give herself to the society of those equally gay and young friends, who, captivated by her peculiar sweetness of disposition, were ever ready to seek her acquaintance; — occupied those early years of health and vigour, which she af- 2 ter wards justly lamented, as having been lost in vanity and folly. In looking back upon them, she was ready to exclaim with the Poet,

" Oh! the dark days of vanity! while here How tasteless! and how terrible when gone!"*

But Divine mercy had designed that her own ways should correct her. While intent on choosing the world for her portion, and listening only to the Siren voice of earthly allurements, — she formed a connexion in marriage entirely in conformity with such views.

The prospect was flattering as it regarded worldly advantages; and, for a short season, opportunities were thus afforded her for drinking more deeply of the perishable pleasures of this world; of which, however, it may be said, " Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again." John iv. 13. In the midst of her career of worldly prosperity, the day of trouble was fast approaching; and but for that special mercy which designed to " bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably to her,t and give her vineyards from thence," Hosea ii. 14, 15, she would indeed have been made, " like the heath in the desert, and would have inhabited the parched places in the wilderness." Jer. xvii. 6.

.* Young's Night Thoughts. t "Speak to her heart."

CHAPTER IL

FROM HER MARRIAGE TO HER SETTLEMENT AT HALLOWAY.

Her trials — Her conduct under them — Taken by her sister to hear the Rev. Rich. Cecil — Receives deep religious impressions — Becomes a constant attendant at St. John's Chapel — First interview between Mr. Cecil and Mrs. Hawkes — Begins to keep a Diary — Her entire change of character — Cautioned by Mrs. Jones against going to the Theatre — Her value of ordinances — Letter to Mrs. Jones — Visit to Broad Marston, her native place — To Dudley — Correspondence between Mrs. Hawkes and Mrs. Jones — Mrs. Hawkes goes to Birmingham — Sermon of the Rev. C. Simeon's at St. Mary's — She visits Honeybourne and other places, and returns to London-^-Mr. Cecil's visit — His remarks — His illness.

The connexion which Mrs. Hawkes had formed was of a nature very unlikely to promote her happiness. The union had not been preceded by that serious consideration with regard to suitableness in feelings and principles, so strongly recommended in our wise and holy Liturgy. It cannot therefore be thought surprising that her chief trials should arise from this quarter.

During this dispensation, two features of her character were particularly manifested, namely, a capacity for patient endurance of evils which she could not remedy; and a delicacy of feeling which made her bear silently that sorrow which was ever springing up afresh from deep and hidden recesses; she could not so forget the relation in which she stood, as to discuss with her fellow creatures the peculiarities of her case.

But when more than human sympathy became needful, she was to receive the instructive consolation: " My grace is sufficient for thee." In her case was to be exhibited that grand prerogative of the Gospel, in making " all things work togegether for good" to those who receive it. She was taught to " cast her burden on the Lord," and was enabled to understand, in some measure, the design of present trials, as effecting a medicinal process, in order to bring about the gracious results proposed in that Scripture, " Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isa. xlviii. 10.

While Mrs. Hawkes' mind was in this state, a circumstance took place, which, though seemingly of small importance, proved, by its results, to have been overruled by that Divine Providence which ever guides and directs human events. Mrs. Hawkes had a pious sister, who, with her excellent husband, Mr- Jones, belonged to the congregation of St. Mary's Church, Birmingham; attending the ministry of the Rev. Ed w. Burn.

Mrs. Jones having mentioned to Mr. Burn her intention of visiting her sister in London, Mr. Burn particularly recommended her going to hear the Rev. Richard Cecil, while she was in town. In compliance with this recommendation, Mrs. Jones went to St. John's Chapel, Bedford Row, accompanied by Mrs. Hawkes. This occurred in the spring of the year 1787.

The impression made upon Mrs. Hawkes' mind, on this occasion, was deep and abiding. She entered into the sanctuary " a woman grieved in spirit:" Isa. liv. 6. She returned thence no longer sorrowful, but with new and powerful impressions of the efficacy of Scripture consolations; and with earnest desires to become a partaker of spiritual blessings. From this period Mrs. Hawkes constantly attended St. John's Chapel.

Mrs. Jones, delighted to discover the deeply serious state of her sister's mind, and truly anxious to promote her spiritual interests, was induced to write to Mr. Cecil, after an interval of two years, and to request he would call upon Mrs. Hawkes.

Mr. Cecil's answer will be found included in the following letter, sent by Mrs. Jones to her sister, in the month of February, 1789, wherein she writes: —

" I have been considering that if ' to obtain a friend is worth all hazards we can run,' I surely ought to venture something towards procuring for you, if possible, the advice and counsel of Mr. Cecil. I have therefore written to beg the favour of him to call upon you; for I think that the state of your mind particularly requires it. I did this with much fear: which I find, by his kind answer, there was no need for. I will transcribe a part of his letter for your encouragement. * I most heartily join in rejoicing on the happy occasion of your letter; and the angels, we are certainly informed, join us both. It has been matter of much grief to me, during nearly nine years' constant labour among the people of St. John's, to observe how few, comparatively speaking, believe the Gospel report to any saving purpose. Some, indeed, I have observed awaking as from a dream, and setting out in good earnest towards the kingdom. Others seem roused a little, but soon fall down again in faster slumber than before; and some seemed determined to sleep at any rate. Happy indeed shall 1 be if Mrs. Hawkes is found of the first class, — that when the Bridegroom cometh, she may, as a wise virgin, be prepared for all consequences.

"I shall hope, Madam, for that assistance which I am persuaded your prayers will afford — together with those encouragements and admonitions which young converts need from every quarter. My assistance can be but general to one whom, at present, I know only by name; but yours may be particular and appropriate: and all will be found little enough as means, to secure a profession which has to grapple with the disorders not only of the careless, but religious world."

" You see how glad the servant of God is, to hear of your setting out. Do not fear to speak to him with freedom; the good of souls is the chief desire of his heart, as well as the object of his endeavours. Though I cannot be present with you in person, on Friday, I hope for particular access to Him, who presides over your conversation, and who will Himself be present by his Spirit. I mean particularly to observe that day with much prayer. May the Holy Spirit be poured out upon us in rich abundance. I shall be almost one of your party; the ethereal part is not detained by cumbrous clay. I have been much mortified on account of my forgetfulness of your request;* but you know my weakness."

Mrs. Hawkes' first interview with Mr. Cecil took place shortly after; and thus commenced a sacred friendship, begun indeed in time, but reaching to eternity; a relationship between a father in the Gospel, and a spiritual child, who was to be his joy and crown at the appearing of Jesus Christ.

The advantages which Mrs. Hawkes derived from Mr. Cecil's ministry and private instructions, will best be seen by a reference to her diary. Many of her memorandums being in an obscure short hand, must unavoidably be lost. Some ex^ tracts from those which are written at length, will show the progress of Divine grace in her mind. The following was an account of her first interview with Mr. Cecil.

Feb. 17, 1789. "A day to me very momentous: I look upon myself to-day as having entered the list of public professors of Christianity; that is, to have declared myself as a follower of Christ.

" For many years past I have been much stumbled by mark«

* An engagement to meet at a certain hour for prayer.

2* ing the spirit, temper, and conduct of some professors. This may have been partly from my own ignorance of human nature, and partly from erecting too high a standard for professors in general. For though that religion cannot be real which does not in some degree make old things become new, yet I have expected, perhaps, that it should change men into angels. This view, however, has made me to say to myself over and over, If ever I am religious, I will keep it a secret; for I will never make a profession, lest I too, should fall below the mark, and disgrace that sacred cause. A dread of this has, for many years, made me silent when my heart was at times stirred: but more especially since I first heard at St. John's, two years ago. My mind, before this period, was merely transiently impressed, and the impressions wore away, and vanished like the morning dew; but from the first time of hearing Mr. Cecil, I earnestly began to cry out, " What shall

I DO TO BE SAVED?"

" During the last two years I have literally 'roared with anguish of spirit.' The arrows of the Almighty have stuck so fast in me. Temptations from the world- — temptations from within — and most horrible temptations or suggestions, from my spiritual enemy — have made my flesh tremble. The only thing that seemed to save me from absolute despair and distraction was the reading Christian's fight with Apollyon; and his walk through the dark valley, in the Pilgrim's Progress.

" It is generally believed among many of my acquaintance that I am mad. I have been mad with vanity and folly, but I trust that now the Lord is bringing me to a right mind.

" Though I have many very godly acquaintance and friends, I could never speak my mind to them; and I durst not speak to my minister, whom I never fail to hear, because of my determination to keep my religion to myself. At length, however, after much sorrow and many prayers, He that promises help in time of need, sent his faithful and kind messenger to me, the least of all, with words of admonition, comfort, and instruction; Which, while they are, I trust, engraven on my heart, I am also desirous to retain in my memory as to the particulars, and thus to secure to myself the advantage of often looking them over.

"In conversing, I first named my great and long predominating fear of making a profession, lest I should dishonour God. To which Mr. C. replied, — « Every Christian must meet with difficulties, temptations, and trials; and so will you. But what then? Is not God able to defend you? We, as ministers of the Gospel, greatly rejoice to direct and assist our flock; but in a thousand cases, it is utterly out of our power to do it, even where we are most intimate. You will frequently find yourself alone in your journey, and feel that you can turn to no friend on earth for direction. In such cases, you must not be dismayed, but trust in God; and feel out your way like one groping in the dark: take a step at a time.

" On the other hand, take care, when you receive help from arty friend, or your minister, that you do not lean too much upon them, nor be too anxious for their support. We are all poor earthen vessels.

" Watch and pray against failures; but take heed of desponding under them. Be content to travel as you are able. The oak springs from the acorn; but does it become a tree at once? Because the stage wagon cannot travel to York as fast as the stage coach, would you therefore say it will never get to York? The mushroom springs up in a night; but what is the mushroom?

" You must not look for perfection either in yourself or others. Not to allow for the infirmities and defects of a fallen nature, is not to understand any thing about the matter; nay, it is to speak directly contrary to the Bible, the standard of all truth. There never was more than one perfect character upon earth, and he was the most tender and compassionate towards the imperfections of men. He knew what was in man, for he looked at the heart; and if he saw that right, he pitied, where those who judged only by the outward appearance, blamed; and defended, where they condemned.

" There is one distinction you should keep very clear in your mind — that religion itself, in its essence, is perfect; as our rule and standard it is unerring; nor can it be affected by the inconsistencies or imperfections of its professors: the standard remains the same: the balances are true: but when its professors are weighed therein, — even the very best of them, — they are found wanting. Our aim must be to get every day nearer the standard; for whoever does not labour, not merely desire, but labour to be a better Christian every day, is not yet a Christian at all. Yet in this you must exercise patience. Do not measure yourself by a false standard. There are no doubt giants in the Christian world, — but would you be a giant at once? Do not be satisfied to be a dwarf; but remember there must be time to grow."

Question to Mr, C. respecting dress.

Jlnswer: " Religion takes root in the heart, and when it has once got deeply rooted, it will be sure to regulate every thing without. It will so occupy the mind, that every thing else will begin to lose its importance. Religion puts every thing in its proper place; and makes present things lighter than vanity. Even business, or literature, or science, if any one of these takes full possession of the mind, it makes dress a very insignificant thing; and often neglected even to slovenliness. How much more indifferent will religion make us about it. Nevertheless, it is good to avoid singularity of habit. No real Christian can give in to the butterfly fooleries and extravagancies of dress, — any more than they can run into the dissipa* tion of worldly company. Religion does not bid you turn hermit, but rather to ornament your station.

" Be careful, in your commerce with the world, to act up to the character you profess. Do not put on a Pharisaical manner of, ' Stand by, for I am holier than thou.' Yet let it appear, that while you are under the necessity of hearing their vain conversation, you have no taste for it; no delight or interest in it. An humble, kind silence often utters much.

" None can pretend to say how far you may intermix in worldly company, and get no stain or soil. Situation, circumstances, &c, must all be taken into consideration. But this may be said, that he only mixes with the world with safety who does it not from inclination, but necessity.

" As to amusements, and what are called recreations, a really awakened Christian will neither find taste nor leisure for them. Religion furnishes the mind with objects sufficient to fill up every vacancy. Yet as you name them, I would have yon mark carefully every thing that disposes or indisposes the mind to holy pursuits. Persons of tender health are very care-* ful to avoid whatever is hurtful; such as damps — infectious rooms — blighting winds. They attend to the injunctions of their physicians, the cautions of their friends, &c. If people were but as careful about their spiritual health as they are of their bodily health, we should see much stronger and taller Christians.