Life and journal of Mrs. Hester Ann Rogers

Front matter

rl"

f * Hrrttttrtrr?

W1X-

Preface

In my early religious experience I was greatly blest in reading the Memoirs and Journal of Mrs. Hester Ann Rogers, and have always cherished her memory as among my chief est treasures. Of late I have read them again, with much care and profit. And, as there is much repetition in these books, and much local matter that is not of interest in our day, and which is not essential to a graphic and thrilling account of this lady's glorious life and death, and as it is difficult and somewhat expensive to purchase and read two books about one lady, I have . condensed and combined the two books into one, and have decided to publish it in a cheap form for the present generation, so that all concerned can get it and read it, with a saving of both time and money.

As there is a wide-spread interest on this subject of entire sanctification, and multitudes are asking for light and experience, I hope to supply a felt need, and to do my part in dif-

Vlll PREFACE.

fusing light and knowledge on this glorious theme of Bible holiness. In publishing this book, I would add my influence in favor of the standard doctrine and experience of holiness, as taught in the days of Wesley and Fletcher, when true Christians were as radically convicted of the need of entire sanctification as they had been of their need of pardon or regeneration, and when they were as radically sanctified as they were converted. This was the case with Mrs. Rogers. And especially that the younger portion of the Christian community may have a cheap and yet comprehensive account of the life y journal and death of one of the most devout women of the eighteenth century.

Mrs. Rogers' connection with Mr. Wesley and with the Methodism of those times will make this book both interesting and profitable. I have endeavored to make it as brief and yet as thrilling in interest as possible. If the many readers are half as much blest in perusing these pages as I have been in writing them, I shall be amply paid " in the morning of the resurrection."

Reading, Mass., 1882.

CHAPTER I. Birth and early life. — Father's death. — Deep sorrow. — Is

allowed to dance. — Sin predominates Page n

Chapter II

Peculiar dislike to the Methodists. — Convicted of sin — Resists the Spirit. — Breaks solemn vows. — Conviction deepens. — Destroys her fine clothes. — Mother thinks she is losing her senses. — Converted at the Sacramental Service. — Much opposition. — The Lord bears the burden. — Becomes a servant in the family. — Is very sick. — Life spared. — Letter to a lady of rank 21

CHAPTER III. Conflict with inbred sin. — A mystery to herself. — Panting

after God and holiness. — Deep communion with God . 39

Chapter IV

Seeking entire sanctification. — Strange hardness of heart. — Looking to God for the baptism. — Is mightily sanctified to God, and walks in unclouded light. — Joy unspeakable and full of glory. — Outward trials. — Meets Mr. Wesley 46

Chapter V

Great bodily weakness. — Seraphic fervor of spirit. — Sleepless for joy. — Overwhelmed with the divine presence. — Longing for immortality. — Body overpowered. — Mother healed in answer to prayer 57

X CONTENTS.

CHAPTER VI. Her communion with God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

Most intimate fellowship maintained for twenty years . 66

Chapter VII

Her connection with John Wesley. — He treated her with fatherly care. — Mr. Wesley's sermons. — Thrilling interview with John Fletcher. — Mr. Fletcher's experience of deadness to sin. — Thrilling testimony. — How he lost the blessing. — Mrs. Rogers a class teacher .... 76

Chapter IX

Her acquaintance with Mr. Rogers' family. — Death of Mrs. Rogers. — Is married to Mr. Rogers. — Labors in Dublin. — Trials and triumphs. — Letters from Mr. Wesley.

— Appointed to London. — Five months with Mr. Wesley.

— His most glorious and triumphant death. — Mrs. Rogers tried and purified in the fire. — Mrs. Rogers in heaviness.

— Full salvation saves. — Resting at Spitalfields . . . 117

Chapter I. Birth And Early Life

In the starry vault of heaven there are but few stars of the first magnitude. So it is in the starry vault of Christian experience, for as one star differeth from another star in glory, so among the saints of God there is a great variety, and but few are found of the first magnitude in glory. Among these precious few we may name Mrs. Hester Ann Rogers, whose memory is blessed, and whose name is as fragrant as ointment poured forth.

Mrs. Hester Ann Rogers was born at Macclesfield, England, Jan. 31, 1756. Her father, Rev. Mr. Roe, was a clergyman of the church of England. He gave this daughter an excellent education, and instructed her in the principles of piety. She was not allowed to name

God but with the deepest reverence. Once, for telling a lie, she was rebuked in a manner that she never forgot. She says : —

I was early drawn out to secret prayer ; I believed God was the author of all good, of all happiness ; and sin the cause of all misery and pain. If therefore I wished for anything I had not, I asked God in secret to grant it to me. And in any pain of body, or in any of my childish grief, I fled to him for ease and comfort ; and it would be incredible to some, how often I have received manifest answers to prayer, when not more than four years old ; and how my tender mind has been comforted. I was deeply affected, and had very serious thoughts of death for some time, and after seeing the corpse of a little brother of mine, who died of the small pox when I was five years old, I took great delight in the Bible, and could at this time read any part either of the Old or New Testament, always asking questions so as to obtain understanding of what I read. My parents required that I should give an account every Sabbath evening of the sermons and lessons I heard at church, and say my catechism to them, which they explained to my understanding. They also required that I should learn the collect for the day, and repeat it with my other prayers every night and morning. These collects I also often repeated in secret, and with great sincerity before the Lord. I do not remember ever going to bed without having said my prayers, except once : I was then diverted by a girl who told me many childish stories, and so took up my attention, that I forgot to pray till I was in bed ; and then being alone, I recollected what I had done, and conscience greatly accused me ; so that I began to tremble lest Satan should be permitted of God to take me away body and soul, which I felt I deserved ! I soon after thought I saw him coming to the side of my bed ; when I shrieked out in such a manner as brought my parents up stairs to see what was the matter. This made a lasting impression ; and I never after dared to neglect commending myself to the protection of God before I slept. I was at this time about six years old.

When about eight years of age I heard my father say he had a very remarkable dream when recovering from a dangerous illness ; that he stood before the throne of God, and saw his glory, but not being able to gaze upon it, fell on his face in raptures of joy.

My mother asked if he could describe what he saw, but he answered, No, it was impossible to convey any idea of it, the sight seemed almost to deprive him of being. She asked if anything was spoken to him, but he desired her to ask no more respecting it : nor would he ever tell her any more. I have often thought he received some notice in that dream of his approaching dissolution. A material change was evident from that time in all his conduct and tempers. Anger was ever before a besetting sin, but I do not remember to have seen him overcome by it after this. He was more vigilant in public and private duties ; more humble and patient under little difficulties and trials, more watchful over the morals of all around him, and took more pains than ever to inform my infant mind in all things which led to piety and virtue. He warned me against reading novels and romances, would not suffer me to learn to dance, nor to go on visits to play with those of my own age. He said it was the ruin of youth to suppose they were only to spend their time in diversions. I believe I shall have reason to bless God forever for several lessons he then gave me, and to all of which I listened with great delight.

In February, 1765, when I was a little more than nine years old, he took his last sickness ; a malignant fever, in which he lay several weeks, expressing through the whole of it an entire submission to the will of God, and an assurance of a happy eternity. He sung psalms, repeated various scriptures and praised God aloud ; and was continually commending to his care his dear wife and children. A few days before he died, he called aloud for me ; and "when I came, he took my hand in his, very affectionately, and said, " My dear Hetty, you look dejected. You must not let your spirits be cast down ; God hath ever cared for me, and he will take care of mine. He will bless you, my dear, when I am gone. I hope you will be a good child, and then you will be happy/' Then laying his hand on my head, he lifted his eyes to heaven, and with a solemnity I shall never forget, said, — " Unto God's gracious mercy and protection I commit thee : the Lord bless thee, and keep thee ; the Lord lift up the light of his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace, and make thee his child and faithful servant to thy life's end ! " I cannot find words to express what were the feelings of my heart on this occasion. Love for my valuable and affectionate parent ; grief to reflect I was now losing him, and gratitude that his dying lips had pronounced such a blessing on my head, quite overpowered me. I fell on my knees, gave vent to my feelings in a flood of tears, and continued to weep till my eyes were almost swelled up. He died the ioth of April, 1765.

My grief for some time would not suffer me to take recreations of any kind ; but I would sit and read to my mother, or weep with her. But after a season, I was invited to the houses of relations and friends ; and as I soon became a laughing-stock among them for my seriousness, and dislike to their manners and their plays, I began to be ashamed of being so particular. My mother was also now prevailed on to let me learn to dance, in order to raise my spirits and improve my carriage, etc. This was a fatal stab to my seriousness and divine impressions ; it paved the way to lightness, trifling, love of pleasure, and various evils. As I soon made some proficiency, I delighted much in this ensnaring folly. My pride was fed by being admired, and began to make itself manifest with all its fruits. I now aimed to excel my companions, not in piety, but in fashionable dress ;

MRS. HESTER ANN ROGERS. \J

and could not rest long without being engaged in parties of pleasure, and especially in this (what the world calls) innocent amusement. I also obtained all the novels and romances I possibly could, and spent some time every day in reading them ; though at first it was unknown to my mother, who would not then suffer it. After this I attended plays also. In short, I fell into all the vain customs and pleasures of a delusive world, as far as my situation in life would admit, and even beyond the proper limits of that station in which God had placed me. Thus was my precious time misspent, and my foolish heart wandered far from happiness and God ; urging me on to endless ruin. Yet in all this, I was not left without keen convictions, gentle drawings, and many short-lived good resolutions, especially till fifteen years of age. God often wrought strongly upon my mind, and that in various ways, of which I come now to speak. But O ! how did I grieve and resist the Holy Ghost ! How justly might he have given me up ; yea, and sealed me over to eternal destruction !

At the age of thirteen she was confirmed by the Bishop of Chester, and then felt a greater responsibility to keep God's commandments. At the end of this year she came near the gates of death by a malignant fever. She was totally unprepared to meet God. She vowed to God that if he would spare her life she would lead a new life. God spared the barren fig-tree, and she was restored to health.

About this time she dreamed that she and her three cousins were dead and summoned to the bar of God. Her sins all appeared in array before her, and she felt that she deserved the sentence of God to endless misery. Then a bright angel appeared, in white, and stood before them. They expected he would sentence them to hell, but instead of this he smiled upon them and said, "The Lord Jesus has forgiven your sins and washed you in his own blood, and I am come to bid you enter into the joy of your Lord, and conduct you into his blissful presence. ,, At this, rapturous joy filled her soul, and she sprung up and clapped her hands, and leaped for joy, and praised God in ecstasies of joy she had never known before.

She never forgot this dream. For a while she was quite serious, and read all the religious books she could get hold of. Finding

MRS. HESTER ANN ROGERS. ig

that she was to be judged according to her works, she bought a little book and kept a record of all her good and all her bad actions, and although she would sometimes fast all day that she might swell up her good works, still her evil works excelled the good.

She still visited the ball-room, and one night she pulled out this little book with her pocket handkerchief. Her companions picked it up and found out what it was, and began to ridicule her, and this was the end of that effort to be good.

She had a great taste for reading, from her youth ; till she was converted she would read novels and romances. She would sometimes read three or four hundred octavo pages in a day. After she was converted, she took great delight in studying her Bible, and also Rollin's Ancient History. She had a critical knowledge of the English language, and her extensive reading made her capable of conversing upon almost any subject, whether of an historical, philosophical or theological nature. Writing seemed to be her peculiar talent. She took great delight therein, from her youth. She tried to conquer her sins one at a time, but —

" The more she strove against their power, She felt their weight and guilt the more."

Still she fell into sin and condemnation. She says : " It was some time, however, before I had so resisted the convictions of the Holy Spirit as to remain at ease : he strove with me in various ways, till I was a little more than fifteen. But I so repeatedly grieved and quenched the motions of that Holy Spirit, that I was then in some measure given up to my own foolish rebellious heart. Dress, novels, plays, cards, assemblies, and balls, took up the most of my time, so that my mother began to fear the consequences of my living so much above my station in life. But I would not now listen to her admonitions. I loved pleasures, and after them I would go."

She says again : " I found that pride was interwoven with every thought, and word, and action."

Her godmother who stood sponsor for her when she was baptized, was a wealthy lady, and made her large presents, and treated her as though she intended to bestow upon her a handsome fortune. This tended to foster her pride, and thus she spent the days of her youth.

Chapter II. Her Conversion To God And Early Chris- Tian Experience

She had a peculiar dislike to the Methodists. From all the reports she had heard of them she was greatly prejudiced against them, and thought their ministers were like the Catholic priests. At length Rev. David Simpson, a Methodist minister, began to labor in her native town, and to preach against all her favorite sins. She was fully determined that she would not give up her sins and be converted among the Methodists. Just about this time one of her associates died suddenly from a cold she took at an assembly. This made a deep impression upon her. Yet, she was determined she would not be converted among the Methodists. The Holy Spirit strove with her mightily, and asked her if she would be willing to be struck dead upon the ball-room floor. She stifled convictions with all her might, and ran more eagerly after pleasure.

Still Mr. Simpson's (the Methodist minister) sermons began to sink deeper into her heart. Sometimes she came out of the church weeping, and at times resolved to forsake her sins, and many times she broke her promises. At length she became satisfied that she must be born of the Spirit or be forever lost. Yet with a bleeding conscience she would still go on in sin, till at length she found that she had violated every command of the decalogue. She had broken her baptismal vow and her confirmation vow, and her sacramental vows, and felt that she had no title to any mercy or any hope. Deeply convicted she went home, and ran up stairs, and fell upon her knees, and made a solemn vow to renounce and forsake all sinful pleasures and trifling companions. She arose the next morning, and, without telling her mother, she took all her finery and high-dressed caps, and ripped them all up, so that she could wear them no more. She cut her hair short and vowed she would never dance again. She bewailed her own sinfulness, and cried for mercy. She could neither eat, or sleep, or take comfort. All the curses of the Bible seemed to be pointing at her, and she could not claim a single promise. Her whole life seemed nothing but sin and rebellion against her Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier. She feared that it was too late to seek for mercy.

Her mother thought that she was losing her senses. Her friends sought in vain to comfort her. After a mighty struggle she ventured to approach the table of the Lord, encouraged by the words, " A broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." And as Mr. Simpson was reading that sentence in the service, " If any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the righteous : and he is the propitiation for our sins," a ray of divine light and comfort darted into her soul, and she cried, " Lord Jesus ! let me feel thou art the propitiation for my sins." Then she believed there was mercy for her. A love to God sprang up in her heart, and she began to rejoice in him, and the fear of death was taken away. She confessed this to some of her associates, and they made light of it, and she became discouraged and lost her peace.

She went to hear Mr. Samuel Bardsley preach from " Comfort ye, comfort ye, my people." Every word went home to her heart as if he had known all her secret thoughts. She was greatly comforted, and her prejudices against the Methodists melted away. But her mother determined that if ever she found that her daughter had gone to hear the Methodists she would disown her. Every friend and relation she had were of the same kind, and she had no acquaintance, as yet, among the Methodists. Her only refuge was in God. She used much prayer and entreaty with God. When he spoke to her as follows: "Did ever any trust in the Lord and was confounded?" she answered, " No, Lord, and I will trust in thee. If I perish, I will perish at thy feet. Only show me thy will, and here I am."

The Saviour spoke to her heart and said, " If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me." She cried, " Lord, I will forsake all and follow thee ; I will joyfully bear thy cross, only give me thyself ? "

After this she faithfully attended Methodist meetings, and multitudes of her former friends called her to account for such strange conduct. But the Lord gave her a mouth and wisdom to plead her own cause with Bible arguments. She left her company many times a day to retire to her closet to commune with God. She refused to conform to the world in dress or in spirit. Earthly resources were cut off, but heavenly resources afforded ample supplies of comfort. Her language was, —

" None but Christ to me be given, None but Christ in earth or heaven."

She frankly told her mother that she must attend to the salvation of her soul, and begged her not to confine her from Methodist meetings any more, offering to be a servant in her house, and do all the work, if she could only be allowed to attend the Methodist meeting. Her mother consented, expecting that she would soon get weary and give it up. She was greatly comforted in reading John Wesley's sermon on justification by faith. She read it many times with prayer. She walked to and fro in her room, groaning after God, when suddenly the Lord spoke these words to her heart : " Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved," She said,

" Lord, I know this is thy word, and I can depend upon it." Then this promise came to her relief : " Cast all thy burden upon him, for he careth for you." She replied : " I cast my soul upon thee for time and for eternity." She says : " Then did he appear to my salvation. In that moment my fetters were broken, my soul was set at liberty. The love of God was shed abroad in my heart, and I rejoiced with joy unspeakable. I felt a thousand promises all my own. I could now call Jesus Lord by the Holy Ghost, and the Father my Father. My sins were gone, my soul was happy. I was a new creature, and seemed to be in a new world. I cried out, * Thou art my father. O God, thou art my God ! * while tears of joy ran down my cheeks."

All this serves to show that she was truly converted to God at this time, and this laid a good foundation for the work of entire sanctification which she afterwards experienced, and so beautifully adorned and exemplified.

The Word of God was sweeter than honey or the honeycomb. She generally read it on her knees. Her pride was laid in the dust, and her soul sank into humility. Her cousin, Robert Roe, who was intended for a minister, was so convicted by this wonderful experience of hers, that he became alarmed for himself, and began to inquire how she obtained it. He said : " I know I am a great sinner, and miserable beyond expression. I would give all the world to obtain the favor of God you speak of."

She wrote to him a letter full of instruction, advising him to go among the Methodists, and go to class meeting. . After a while he too could rejoice in the God of his salvation.

Six months after Miss Roe, afterwards Mrs. Rogers, became a servant in the family, her mother was sick with a fever and expected to die. The daughter watched with her mother till she was nearly sick herself. She was fearfully broken down in body, and could hardly hope to recover. She was far gone in consumption. She refused to take medicine or anything that she thought would restore her to health. She was so fond of heaven that she desired " to depart and be with Christ which is far better." Her joy was inexpressible. Infinite wisdom spared this useful life, and her cousin convinced her that by not taking medicine and other things to recover her health, she was manifesting self-will while she professed to do the will of God. After he left she fell upon her knees and cried, " Lord, perfectly subdue my will." God gave her this promise, " Ask what ye will and it shall be done unto thee. ,, She resigned herself to the will of God to live, and labor, and suffer for the master and his blessed cause.

See how she expressed herself on this subject: "I will henceforth entirely renounce my own will respecting life or death ! I leave it fully in thy hands and to thy pleasure, to take me now or to spare me twenty, thirty, yea, forty years ; or as long as thou seest my life will bring glory to thee, and profit to immortal souls ; relying on thy faithful promise given me this day, that what ' I ask shall be done ; ' and accounting it a solemn covenant between me and thee : that whensoever thou seest me about to be overcome by trials, by temptations, or snares, so that I shall in heart or life depart from thee, or wound thy cause, that then thou wilt put in thy sickle, and gather me home ; yea, if even at that time I should be so foolish as to desire life ! — Amen and amen. What I felt of heaven, of God, of love, at that season, cannot be expressed. I had communion with my Lord, as if face to face ; and could henceforth choose nothing but his will.

" From this day forth I speedily recovered strength, and in a few weeks was enabled to attend to my daily duties."

She began to work for Jesus as soon as she was converted. She says : —

" I could neither eat, nor sleep much for many days and nights. The love of God shed abroad in my heart was now my meat and drink : and the thoughts of the amazing depths of grace which had plucked me as a brand from the burning quite overcame me ! — me, the most obstinate offender, who had so long and so repeatedly resisted and grieved his Holy Spirit ! This love of my God and Saviour, so unmerited and free, overflowed my soul; nor had I for eight months any interruption to my bliss.

* Not a cloud did arise, to darken my skies. Or hide for a moment my Lord from my eyes.'

" Yet I had daily crosses to take up and endure, but I rejoiced in being accounted worthy to bear the cross for Him who died to purchase my peace."

" O how my soul is filled with love, and my tongue with praise, while I reflect on the mercies of the year past ! At the close of the last year I was surrounded with many and various trials ; but now out of all hath the Lord delivered me. He hath kept me from the fowler's snare, and hath reserved my heart for himself to dwell in, my present, my eternal portion. I have walked through the fire and suffered no harm ;

; And passing through the watery flood. Have hung upon the arm of God."

"His arm hath wrought salvation from dangers which I knew not, and no weapon formed against me hath prospered. Every trial hath terminated in great good. I have been sheltered from every storm, been fed with the riches of his love, and comforted with the consolations of his Spirit ; I have lived in his smiles, and shall be preserved to his glorious kingdom.

We still quote from her journal which is full of revelations of her experiences. She says, "What I felt of heaven, of God, of love at that season cannot be expressed. I had communion with my Lord as if face to face and could henceforth choose nothing but his will. From this day forth I soon recovered strength, and in a few weeks I could attend some of the means of grace." Soon after she was converted, in her nineteenth year, she wrote the following letter to a lady of rank and fortune who was offended because she had become a Methodist. This letter shows great insight into divine things for one so recently converted.