Memoir of John Mooney Mead, who died at East Hartford, Conn. April 8, 1831, aged 4 years, 11 months, and 4 days ...

Front matter

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LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS

019 971 780

Chapter I

Early History and Traits of CnARACTER—birth— early consecration to God—name — agreement of the parents—regarded as immortal— rational— taught to obey — not deceived— nor frightened— nor hired — reverence for the Bible — public worship— presence of God — anecdotes— what does it mean ? — explanations— correctness of language— Sabbath school affection—self-denial — no stimulus from emulation — desire to do good — tenderness of feeling, 9

CHAPTER 11.

Early Religious Character — early instruction — prayer — visit to Portland — interesting incidents— hopes to be a minister— christian discernment— anecdote — resurrection— Lord's Supper — love of preaching and of the Bible — rejoices in a revival — conversation with an impenitent young lady— death of a neighboring child — "wicked to sell rum" — prayer, 43

Chapter III

List Sickness and Death — visit to a family — surprising fidelity to his playmates— interesting conversations — concern for his mother— anticipation of the judgment — trust in Christ— wishes to join the company above — interesting conversations and incidents — death — lines occasioned by his father's grief— funeral — epitaph— lines to Mrs. Mead — appeal to children—Sabbath school hymn, 66

Appendix

Life of Rev. Asa Mead, 107 v&sFAoa,

The following Memoir, with the exception of a few paragraphs, was written by Rev. Asa Mead, who survived his beloved child but a few months, at the request of a number of persons deeply inte^ rested in the religious education of the young. Some of these persons were intimately acquainted with the subject of the memoir, and others had heard much of him, and received a favorable impression in regard to his character. The memoir, when prepared, was also examined by several judicious persons ; ministers of the Gospel and others, all of whom united in the request that it might be published.

As those who first proposed this publication agreed in the opinion that a knowledge of the manner in which this child was treated, together with the results, would be profitable to both parents and children, and a benefit to the cause of education, to communicate this knowledge has been an object constantly in view. He is not therefore presented to b PREFACE.

the reader merely as a pious child. The character of his intellect, as well as of his heart, is described, and not only the kind of knowledge communicated, but the manner of communicating it, is shown. No doubt the sanctification of the child should be the first and principal object of the parent's solicitude ) but this is to be attained by the truth, and a knowledge of the truth is essential to its effect. The intellect of the child therefore must be cultivated, in order to reach the heart. Should God grant his blessing in his usual manner, it will be found that the benefit will be proportioned to the clearness of the child's understanding of religious truth, and the happy associations connected with it. The manner then of communicating truth and the objects associated with it, are important matters for the consideration of those who have charge of the young.

With such views, this memoir has been prepared for the benefit of parents and teachers, as well as of children and pupils. How profitable to either it will be, future events must determine. Had the parents of this child expected to be called so early to part with their son, they would have kept in writing an account of what might be profitably made known; and no doubt a larger and more valuable narrative might have been the result. But being obliged to

Preface

depend on memory, and unwilling to add another to the already too numerous fictitious narratives before the public, they have given only what is distinctly recollected, and commit the work, imperfect as it is, to the blessing of God, hoping it may not be altogether useless.

It is possible that some things are not stated frecisely as they occurred, but no intentional exaggeration is admitted ; and it is believed that the character of this child is not presented in a more favorable light than truth warrants.

Should the prevalent impression, that it is impossible for a young child to give evidence of piety, be removed from the mind of any, and parents and teachers be encouraged to labor more for the early conversion of those committed to them, expecting success, then those who mourn the early exit of this lovely boy will rejoice that he has not lived or died in vain.

CHAPTER L

Early history, and traits of character.

John Mooney Mead, the subject of this memoir, was born at Brunswick, in the state of Maine, May 4th, 1826. His father was then pastor of the Congregational church in that town. Being their first born, his parents made him, from his birth, the subject of earnest prayer, with strong confidence in God that he would sanctify him for himself Their chief desire was that he might be early converted, and wholly employed in the love and service of God ; and especially that, should it please him, he might in due time become a preacher of the Gospel. But their prayers were generally petitions for his early conversion to Christ, and his sanctification.

In giving him a name, they wished to prepare to exert a happy influence, by keeping before his mind a happy example. They therefore selected that of a man who had been an early and most valued friend of his father, well known in New-Hampshire as a friend to the fatherless and widow ; who then was on the borders of eternity, trusting he was about to enter the rest that remaineth for the people of God.

They felt strongly the necessity of being prepared to discharge the duties of parents, in training up an immortal being; and sought preparation by reading some of the best books on early education, by frequent conversations with each other, and by prayer for wisdom from above, often pleading the promise, ** If any lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him."

A very considerable part of the value of the memoir of such a child must consist in the addition it shall make to the stock of information on early education. The reader, whether a parent, child, or teacher, will therefore have patience to read a somewhat particular and minute account of the measures adopted with this child, and their results. It is hoped it may not be time spent in vain.

The first understanding of his parents with each other was, that every thing in regard to the management of their child should be matter of consultation and prayer ; that they would always act in concert, so as not to thwart each other ; and that they would pursue a uniform system, always keeping his good in view.

They regarded him from the first as an immortal being, who would for ever feel the consequences of what they should do in relation to him. In their conv-ersations, it was early and often remarked, that he was acquiring knowledge, and forming habits for eternity. Nothing, therefore, that aflected him, could be indifferent. Even what seemed to many but trifles, might be of immense importance to him. On this account they commenced, when he was only a few months old, withholding from him whatever he cried for ; and when he was fretful, they did not pacify him by caresses, or by bestowing what he desired, but by directing his attention to something else. It was a common saying with him, that parents often hire their children to cry and be fretful. They give whatever the child demands in this way, and thus obtain present relief from his importunity, .but teach him how to obtain, hereafter, whatever he may desire; thus subjecting themselves to all his caprices, whenever he chooses to make himself and them unhappy by his fretfulness. Perhaps in no way are more children injured than in this. It teaches them to be selfish, and regardless of the feelings of others. It habituates them to obtain what they desire, in the most disagreeable way ; and for these habits they must be often chastised, and meet with many mortifications while young, to subdue their disposition, or they are rendered disagreeable and miserable for life. A little resolution, early practiced and persevered in, might have prevented these evils, and even saved the parents much trouble, as well as the child much sorrow. At least, so the parents of this child believed, and they have seen no cause to think that they were mistaken.

The next result of regarding him as an immortal being was, that his parents began at a very early period to give him all the knowledge they could, especially religious knowledge, believing it would abide with him eternally. They often remarked, that they could not make their son rich, but they could give him that which would be a blessing to him when all riches should vanish away. They trusted him very little to the care of others ; and as soon as he could understand sufficiently, he was often placed in his little chair by the side of his mother, or on his father's knee, to hear stories repeated in the simplest language, or little hymns rehearsed, and' then ex* plained, when he seemed not to understand them.

Before he could talk plainly, he knew several of these hymns for children, and seemed to understand them. This was the case also with several texts of Scripture, often repeated to him ; and he knew that Jesus loves to have little children pray to him, because, when on earth, he took them up in his armis, and put his hands on them, and blessed them, and said, "Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kmgdom of heaven."

The thought, *' he is immortal," led his parents to consider it of great importance to cherish his bene*

I rolent affections. This they did by endeavoring always to exhibit these affections themselves in his presence, avoiding, as much as possible, even an unpleasant look or tone of voice; treating him, and teaching him to treat others, with constant kindness, and guarding against all unnecessary occasions of irritation, They found him soon imitating their very looks and tones, and were convinced, that even these have more influence in forming the early character of children, than all the good precepts and counsels that can be given them, when not enforced by the example of the parents themselves. Every child has an eye quick to discern, and imitates actions long before he understands rules, and forms habits of conduct before he can perceive the advantage of obeying laws.

Another thing agreed upon by his parents was, that they would treat their son as a rational being. They believed that a child can be reasoned with, and made to understand why he should do what he is required, or refrain from what he is forbidden to do, and this as soon as he understands the meaning of the words used. How early he will understand language, depends on words being always used in a proper manner in his hearing. They never therefore talked to their son in the affected babyish manner common with some parents and others, who. when talking to a child, use language without meaning, or mispronounce words, as if the child could 2 better understand mere nonsense than correct expres" sions. All the words used when speaking to him had as uniform a meaning as when speaking to adults. The most perceptible effect of this was, that from the first, his pronunciation was uncommonly distinct, and his language very correct, a circumstance observed with surprise by many, till they learned the reason.

Very early his parents began to tell him why they required him to do what he was bidden, and he rarely hesitated a moment, Avhenever he understood the reason. Care w^as required, however, to prevent his demanding a reason, when prompt obedience was necessary. Once ^vhen about three years old, he asked his mother her reasons for doing something. She considered it trifling, and not Avorth a reason, and answered, " Because I choose, my son." He looked quite dissatisfied, and replied, " That is no reason at all." But generally this was easy done, by using at such times a tone of more decision and authority ; a practice, the meaning of which even a child will soon understand.

He Avas early taught to subject his own will to that of his parents. This they endeavored to procure, as far as possible, by gentle means ; but if these failed, they applied the rod of chastisement. His father well recollects the first and only severe contest to subdue his will. It was when he was about fourteen months old. There is no need to give particulars. Suffice it to say, he understood what was required of him, and refused to obey. Chastisement was inflicted with a very light rod, and at short intervals, till he obeyed. Then he immediately asked to be taken up, put his arms around his father's neck, put his little face up to his in the most affectionate manner, and seemed after this to love his father more than ever.

The sight or mention of a rod was all, for months, that was necessary to produce instantaneous obedience. It was found, however, that obedience was generally readiest, and most cheerful, when the commands were given in the mildest and most affectionate manner, seeming rather to ask than to demand compliance. By pursuing this course, his parents endeavored to connect obedience with pleasure, and resorted to severer methods only when milder means had failed. If in any instance they departed from this method, they soon saw reason to regret it, for he would adopt their tone and manner in making his own requests, and never seem to think it improper. This Avill probably be observed in nearly every child, and shows the importance of care in every thing regardmg them.

From the first it was understood that John's parents did not allow any one to deceive him on any account. No false pretences were allowed, no promises made to him without the intention of fulfilling them, and no threats which it was not intended to execute, if necessary. He always therefore expected just what had been promised, and on the very conditions, and at the time specified. If from forgetfulness this was not done, he would remind the person of It, and perhaps say he told a falsehood. If his parents had failed, they did not hesitate to confess the fault, and tell him that they were sorry, and that they must ask God to forgive them, and do so no more Sometimes he thought they failed because he did not understand them; and then they explained their meanmg, and showed him they had not failed. Thus they endeavored, by example, to inculcate a sacred regard to truth ; and in vain will parents hope to do It m any other way. The child will do as he knows they do, and how can they correct him for it ?

No one was allowed to frighten John with threats or tales of spirits, or imaginary dangers, nor give him a dread of being alone or in the dark ; and till he learned it from other children, he never appeared to dread darkness more than light, nor to know fear, where there was not real danger. He was accustomed, from less than a year old, to be put to bed at sunset, and never caused trouble during the night, on any account. When his usual time came he ex^ pected to retire, and made no resistance or complaint. Before he was two years old, it was manifest he had a most ardent thirst for knowledge— a strong desire to be acquainted with every thing around him. This his parents determined to gratify, and therefore explained whatever he wished to understand, and answered his numerous questions, as far as they could, and never discouraged his asking as many as he pleased. He was not put off with a frown, or reproved for his curiosity ; but they answered him pleasantly, when they could, and when they could not, they told him so.

In the exercise of this curiosity, he learned, with very little encouragement, nearly all the letters of the alphabet, before he was two years old, by picking them out on a stove in the sitting room, and asking their names. Those not on the stove he learned with very little pains, so as to name them all readily, before he was two years old. This same curiosity was still indulged, and grew in strength daily. He would employ his father or mother an hour at a time answering his questions, and never seem wearied while they could attend to him. These questions were rarely trifling, and generally manifested much thought, and some understanding of the subject. If an answer was not understood by him, that must be explained till he understood the whole, or thought he did, and then he appeared satisfied, and seldom asked the same question again. This trait of character is no doubt common, in a greater or less degree, to all children, and needs but to be encouraged to secure a rapid advance in knowledge, and eminent attainments, at least by many.

The parents of this child never adopted the prac- 2* tice of hiring him to do what they wished, by giving toys or luxuries. When he had been obedient, or had performed very well what he was directed, or had done a praiseworthy act without bidding, they often gave him a ride, or a present of something useful ; or, what he loved quite as well, told or read him a story from the Bible, or some other book, and informed him, it was told him because he had done well. At other times his reward was, being permitted to carry relief to those in want, or to help his father do something useful, in which he greatly delighted.

As before remarked, his parents always considered his religious instruction of the first importance, and made it the prominent object never to be neglected. It was the custom, from about a year old, for one of them to pray with him when he went to bed at night, as Avell as at other times ; and he was taught, as soon as he could speak, to repeat the Lord's prayer, and a short simple petition for a holy heart, and for blessings on his parents and other relations. They endeavored to convince him that this was of no use, unless he prayed in his heart ; and they explained and illustrated what it is to pray in the heart, so that he could understand it. Their instructions respecting prayer Avere often repeated, and much pains were taken to show its importance, and to make it a pleasant employment thus to address God.

He was always taught to consider the Bible the best of all books, a holy book, God's own book ; and the most interesting parts of its history were frequently repeated to him in simple language, and he was told these were in the Bible, and he must learn to read them himself Of these he was never lired, but would sit and listen to his mother, as long as she was able to go on ; and when she was fatigued, he would ask for another story.

Before he was two years old, his father purchased him a hieroglyphic Bible, to which he at once became attached, and by often asking questions respecting the meaning of its various emblems and pictures, he became familiar Avith most of the passages of Scripture found in it, even before he could read. His attachment to this book never appeared to diminish, till he began to read in the Bible itself, and then he almost at once laid it aside. No doubt it greatly assisted him in understanding the Bible. He would often say, when he read one of these passages, " This is in my hieroglyphic Bible."

From two years old to three, his progress in learning to read was slow. His mother could give but little attention, at that time, to his instruction ;* and his parents did not deem it expedient to urge him forward faster than he chose, lest his health might

* It should be recollected that he v/as at this time very young. It is hoped that no parent will consider this a warrant for allowing older children to be idle, merely because they seem unwilling to learn.

be injured, or he become disgusted with reading^. When he desired it, or was reaJy cheerfully to receive it, if his mother had leisure, lie was instructed, and the object was kept before him, by telling him how he could thus learn to read stories for himself. During this time his mind was active and inquisitive. His desire to know about every thing he saw grew stronger, and his numerous questions were answered, and objects worthy of his notice frequently pointed out to him. Before he w^as three years old, it was often obi?erved that he spoke with remarkable distinctness, and used language and expressed ideas common to children twice as old as himself, rather than of those of his own age. Even at this age he preferred the company and conversation of men and women, to that of children, and would often leave his play, to sit and listen, and ask them questions. Never was there any difficulty in keeping him still, if he could be acquiring knowledge.

From two years old he constantly attended public worship on the Sabbath, if the weather permitted. He would generally, for the two first years, fall asleep in the course of the sermon, but gave little trouble. If he became uneasy and restless, or inclined to play, whisper to him, " God sees you, John," and he would immediately become still and attentive. It was not expected that he would understand what he heard at this early age, but his parents wished to give the habit of attending the worship of God all the strength of early associations. They have never doubted the advantage of it, for his desire to enjoy this privilege increased to the last, so that nothing but sickness could induce him to stay from it, when permitted to go.

This attachment to public worship was particularly strong the last few months of his life. In the coldest and most stormy Sabbaths of the winter, he insisted on attending, saying, he could go as well as his father — men went, and he must go. He often desired to attend the weekly female prayer-meeting with his mother ; and when there, was uniformly serious, attentive, and much interested.

His father and mother often told him that God saw him, and noticed all he did and said, and even the feelings and thoughts he had ; and that he noticed them especially in time of worship. They told him that God requires us to worship him in spirit and truth, not merely with words and actions .; and if the heart is not engaged, all the forms of worship are useless and hypocritical. The result of these instructions appeared in great seriousness of deportment in time of worship, as well as in a strong attachment to it in all its customary seasons. Even in his diversions, rarely was he known to trifle with the forms or customary language of devotion.

Sometimes, if he had been disobedient towards the close of the day, his parents refused lo hear him pray, or to pray with him, when he went to bed.

Nothing grieved him like this. He would heg of them to pray for him, say he was sorry he had been naughty ; and if they refused, would weep and sob till he fell asleep, apparently destitute of comfort. Sometimes he would be heard praying God to forgive him for being so naughty, and make him a good boy, and bless his father and mother, and other friends.

A little incident, before he was three years old, will show something of his character then. His father was one day absent from dinner, and no gentleman was present. When his mother, with some others, came to the table, he, without any thing being said, went to his father's place, stood up in the chair, and asked a blessing with strict propriety. When dinner was over, he gave thanks in like manner. This service he ever after claimed the right of performing when no gentleman was present ; and it is not known that he ever failed when at liberty to perform it. His language on such occasions was mostly texts of Scripture aptly applied to t^e occasion ; more particularly was this the case the last year, and persons present have often remarked the force and propriety with which such a child could use the language of the Bible. His friends can give no other reason for his commencing this exercise, than that he had always seen it performed by men, and as no one was present, he considered it as devolving on him. He seldom attempted to imitate females,

JOHN K. MEAIX 23

but seemed to think that whatever his father or other men did, he must do.

Soon after this his father was sick on a Sabbath, and unable to preach or attend meeting. Just before the time of going, John came to his mother and said, " Mother, father is sick, must I preach to the people to-day ?" She asked, " What my son would you say to them ?" He replied, " I will tell them that * Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life.' " The passage of Scripture containing this he had probably heard read in family worship, or repeated in his mother's familiar conversation wdth him on the w^ay of salvation. When he went that day to the meeting house, he passed by the pew where he usually sat, and went to the pulpit stairs with an intention to go up, probably expecting to preach.

Incidents like the above frequently occurred, and caused him to be regarded as an uncommon child, wherever he was known ; and a professional gentleman in his native town, probably expressed the general opinion, by saying that " John had an old head." He will be remembered with lively interest for a long time in that place.

When John was about three years old, his parents removed from Brunswick, and resided in Gorham, in the same state, about a year. For some months they were unable to give much personal attention to his instruction. He w^as sent to school ten weeks, w^hich was all the time of his attendance, except what he devoted to the Sabbath School. Although he received much attention from the teacher, and was very happy with the children, he made no progress in learning to read. Whether schools conducted on the common plan are ever of advantage to children so young, is at least 'doubtful. Experience in regard to this child would go to establish the opinion, that half an hour a day, devoted by the mother to her child, is worth more than all the instruction he can have at school. Of course this remark does not apply to infant schools.

When John was about three years and a half old he began again to show a desire to learn to read, especially that he might read those stories which had been repeated to him from the Bible,

His father was that year from home most of the time, and the encouragement offered to him was, that if when he should be four years old he could read a chapter, his father would bring him a Testament and would be much pleased with him. This was all the stimulus he needed, and he applied himself so much to learning, that in two months he could read short verses, and in four he read a chapter with considerable ease, and was very fond of doing it daily.

From that time he generally read to his mother twice a day, either from a school-book for children, or from the Bible, which was his favorite book. As soon as he read fluently, the time devoted to it began to be one of vigorous mental effort for both mother

^OttN M. MEAD. 25

and son : for lie refused to pass over a verse, or even a word that he did not understand, till he had sought an explanation. His questions were very numerous, and indicated much thought and intelligence. " What is the meaning of that word ?" " Wh^^t did he say so for ?" " What did he mean ?" " Who did he say this to ?" " What did they do it for ?" Questions like these, suggested by what he read, were almost incessant; and if the explanation was not intelligible, that must be explained till he thought he understood it.

Would parents encourage their children in asking questions, and gratify them with kind intelligible answers, we have reason to believe their taste for acquiring knowledge would be greatly strengthened, and many a young Franklin, or Doddridge, or Carey, or Henry Martyn, would be seen early investigating the works of nature, and the intricacies of language, and the meaning of the word of God. And in what can a mother especially be more profitably or more pleasantly employed, than in feeding the immortal mind of her child Avith knowledge, and above all, with that truth which is designed to sanctify the soul ? The parents of this child now look back to no moments with such unmixed pleasure, as to those spent in encouraging and aiding him in obtaining a knowledge of truth. Their only regret is, that they did not give more attention to it. But, alas ! how many parents devolve this, as a disagreeable 3