Experience and gospel labours of the Rev. Benjamin Abbott; to which is annexed a narrative of his life and death

Preface

The greater partofihe following work was written many years after i\*e occurrences took place ; and as Mr. Abbott's memory could not precisely ascertain the exact tub® of the occurrences, they are consequently inserted without day or date. However, it is of no material consequence, whether an occurrence took place on a Monday or a Saturday ; whether in May or December, or in what particular year ; provided that the relation thereof be true, and the subject be calculated to improve the mind and to promote virtue and religion.

Could Mr. Abbott have given a relation of every meeting, and all the particular occurrences, with day and date, it would have swelled the work far beyond what he designed or wished, and would have led him to a detail of many things of no importance. He only wished to relate the most material circumstances and occurrences in his life, which he could perfectly recollect. The day and date not being mentioned, is, in the opinion of the compiler, of no disadvantage to the work.

Mr. Abbott, a short time before his death, put his manuscripts in possession of the compiler (John Ffirth) with a request that he would arrange and revise them for publication : which he has endeavoured to perform to the best of his ability. Care has been taken not to ex-

PREFACE.

punge any thing that might be ot utility ; and aiso to preserve the original, p^ain, simple ideas and language of the man.

If some circumstances or occurrences do not stand exactly in that order of arrangement in which they occurred m point of time, the compiler does not hold himself accountable for the error; and he hopes, that if such inaccuracy should appeal*, it will be held excusable in the judgment of every judicious and candid reader.

The work is thrown into two parts : Part First contains his experience and Gospel labours, previous to his entering the itinerant connection of Methodist preachers ; during which time he visited various parts of New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, and Maryland. Part Second contains his travels and Gospel labours after he entered the itinerant connection.

The compiler had an intimate acquaintance with Mr. Abbott for about twenty years, and had knowledge of some things relative to that eminent saint of God (which were not mentioned in his own manuscripts) which may be acceptable to the reader : he has, therefore, annexed to the work a narrative of the life and death of that extraordinary, zealous, faithful, and useful man.

The Compiler.

EXPERIENCE AND GOSPEL LABOURS

OF THE

REV. BENJAMIN ABBOTT.

Part First

Containing his parentage, birth, marriage, and manner of life, while in nature's darkness — His conviction, conversion, and sanetification — His Gospel labours, and divers remarkable occurrences while a local preacher, till the death of his wife.

My grandfather, James Abbott, was born in Somersetshire, in Great Britain. He removed to America, and settled on Long Island, where he married, and had five sons and two daughters. My father, Benjamin Abbott, was his third son : when he arrived at age, he removed from Long Island to New Jersey, where he married the daughter of Mr. John Burroughs, sheriff of Hunterdon county. Afterward he removed again to Long Island, where he resided for some time, and had two sons and one daughter. After this he sold his farm, and moved into Pennsylvania, bought a plantation of four hundred acres of good land, and lived in credit, where he had three sons and one daughter more. My mother, when on her death bed, lay sick of a nervous complaint about five weeks. In the dead of the night, before she expired, she cried unto the Lord, and besought him to look in mercy upon the family, and with a loud voice prayed fervently for us all, which caused the spectators to wonder and to cry out, " Hannah, what

LIFE OF BENJAMIN ABBOTT.

is the matter with you?" Next day she departed this life. I then pondered these things in my heart.

In six weeks after, my father took the small pox, and departed this life, leaving my grandfather executor. In his will he ordered that we should dl have trades ; accordingly I was put to a hatter in Philadelphia, where I soon fell into bad company, and from that to card playing, cock fighting, and many other evil practices. My master and I parted before my time was out, and I went into J ersey, and hired with one of my brothers, where I wrought at plantation work. Some time after this I married ; and when I got what my father had left me, I rented a farm, and followed that business ; but all this time I had no fear of God before my eyes, but lived in sin and open rebellion against God, in drinking, righting, swearing, gambling, &c ; yet I worked hard and got a comfortable living for my family. I professed myself a Presbyterian, went often to meeting, and many times the Spirit of God alarmed my guilty soul of its danger ; but it as often wore off again.

Thus I continued in a scene of sin, until the fortieth year of my age ; yet many were the promises I made during that period, to amend my life, but all to no purpose ; they were as often broken as made ; for as yet I never had heard the nature of conviction or conversion : it was a dark time respecting religion, and little or nothing ever said about experimental religion ; and to my knowledge I never had heard either man or woman say that they had the pardoning love of God in their souls, or knew their sins were forgiven. My wife was a member of the Presbyterian Church, and a praying woman ; yet at that time she knew nothing about a heart work.

About the thirty-third year of my age, I dreamed that I died and was carried to hell, which appeared to me to be a large place, arch- • ed over, containing three apartments with arched doors to go from one apartment to another. — I was brought into the first, where I saw nothing but devils and evil spirits, which tormented me in such a manner, that my tongue or pen cannot express. I cried for mercy, but in vain. There appeared to me a light like a star, at a great distance from me ; I strove to get to it, but all in vain. Being hurried into the second apartment, the devils put me into a vice and tormented me until my body was all in a gore of blood. I cried again for mercy, but still in vain. I observed that a light followed me, and I heard one say to me, " How good doth this light appear to you." I was soon hurried into the third apartment, where there were scorpions with stings 'in their tails, fastened in sockets at the end thereof : their tails appeared to be about a fathom long, and every time they struck me, their stings, which appeared an inch and a half in length, stuck fast in me, and they roared like thunder. Here I was constrained to cry again for mercy. As fast as I pulled out the sting of one, another struck me. I was hurried through this apartment to a lake that burned with fire : it appeared like a flaming furnace,

^LIFE OF BENJAMIN ABBOTT.

and the flames dazzled like the sun. The devils were here throwing in the souls of men and women. There appeared two regiments of devils moving through the arches, blowing up the flames : and when they came to the end, one regiment turned to the right and the other to the left, and came round the pit, and the screeches of the damned were beyond the expression of. man. When it came to my turn to be thrown in, one devil took me by the head' and another by the feet, and with the surprise I awoke and found it a dream. But ! what horror seized my guilty breast ■ I thought I should die and be damned. This brought seriousness to my mind for about eight or ten days, in which I made many promises to mend my life, but they soon wore off again.

About five or six weeks after this, I dreamed that I died and was carried into one of the most beautiful place; I ever saw, and my guide brought me to one of the most elegant buildings I ever beheld, and when we came to it the gates opened to us of their own accord, and we went straight forward into the building, where we were met by a company of the heavenly host, arrayed in white raiment down to their feet. We passed on through the entry until we came to a door on the right, which stood about half open : passing a little forward, we made a stand before the door : I looked in, and saw the Ancient of Days sitting upon his throne, and all around him appeared a dazzling splendour. I stood amazed at the sight ; one stepped forward to me arrayed in white, which I knew to be my wife's mother, and said to me, 44 Benjamin, this place is not for you yet so I returned, and my guide brought me back. I awoke with amaze at what I had seen, and concluded that I should shortly die, which brought all my sins before me, and caused me to make many promises to God to repent, which lasted for some time ; but this wore off again, and I went to my old practices. One Sabbath day (our minister being sick, and my. wife being a great meeting body) hearing that there was to be a Methodist meeting about ten or twelve miles distance, she expressed a desire to go to it, and asked my consent : I gave it ; and she and my oldest son and daughter went to hear the man. On their return, I asked her how she liked the preacher ; she replied that he was as great a preacher as ever she had heard in all her life, and persuaded me to go and hear for myself ; accordingly on the next Sabbath I went ; there was a large congregation assembled to hear the man ; his text was, Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest, Matt. xi, 2S.

The preacher was much engaged, and the people were crying all through the house ; this greatly surprised me, for I never had seen the like before. The sermon made no impression on me ; but when he came to the application, he said, " It may be, that some of you may think that there is neither God nor devil, heaven nor hell, only a guilty conscience ; and indeed, my friends, that is bad enough." 44 But," said he, 44 1 assure you that there is both heaven and hell, God and devil." I spoke, I am the man. But he went on and argued that fire was contained in every thing, and that there was a dreadful hell that was beyond our comprehension, and advised the people to fly to Christ for refuge : he then showed the reality of the existence of a God, from a beautiful illustration of his works, which were evidenced to us daily , and that this God had created the heavens and earth. Then called upon the people to come unto God, for Christ had died for their redemption. There was much weeping and heavy groaning among the people. Meeting being over, the two dreams, that I had dreamed about seven years before, came as fresh into my mind as if dreamed the night before, and that God had shown me both heaven and hell, the state of the blessed and the damned. This brought me to think of my misspent life, and in a moment all my sins that I ever had committed were brought to my view ; I saw it was the mercy of God that I was out of hell, and promised to amend my life in future. I went home under awful sensations of a future state ; my convictions increased, and I began to read my Bible with attention, and saw things in a different light from what I had ever seen them before, and made many promises to God, with tears and groans, to forsake sin ; but I knew not the way to Christ for refuge, being ignorant of the nature both of conviction and conversion. But blessed be God, he still gave me light, so that the work was deepened in my soul day by day. The preacher came to preach in our neighbourhood, and I went to hear him again ; it being a new thing in the place brought many together to hear him. Some were Presbyterians, some Baptists, and others without &ny professions of religion. He took his text and preached with power ; the word reached my heart in such a powerful manner that it shook every joint in my body ; tears flowed in abundance, and I cried out for mercy, of which the people took notice, and many others were melted into tears : when the sermon was over, the people flocked round the preacher and began to dispute with him about principles of religion. I said that there never was such preaching as this ; but the people said, Abbott is going mad.

I returned home with my family in sore distress, and pondered these things in my mind : I saw it was the mercy of God that I was out of hell. I cried to God for mercy, but it seemed all in vain. It brought to my mind the many times his Holy Spirit had strove with me from time to time when I was a small boy, and from that time to this. Satan suggested to me that my day of grace was now over, and that I was one of thos e damned reprobates that God had assigned ovor to him from all eternity ; therefore, I might pray and cry, but he was sure of me at last. Being brought up in the doctrine of election and reprobation, I concluded that I should be damned do what I could : by this time my case became desperate. I knew not what

LIFE OF BENJAMIN ABBOTT.

to do, and was almost in despair. One day going to mill, I felt such a hell in my breast arising from a guilty conscience, and being belated in my return, as I was passing through a piece of woods the devil suddenly suggested to my mind, that as I was one of the reprobates and there was no mercy for me, I had better hang myself and know the worst of it. While I was looking for a suitable place for that purpose I thought I heard a voice, saving, (alluding to the anxiety and distress of soul that I then felt,) " This torment is nothing to hell." I immediately changed my mind ana 1 drove home under the greatest anxiety imaginable, for it appeared to me the devil was behind me in the wagon with his hand just over my head, threatening to take me away both soul and body. I cannot express my feelings at that time ; my hair arose on my head through fear : I was afraid to look back, lest I should visibly see him. In this deplorable condition I returned home : when I got into the house I dared not go outside of the door for fear the devil would take me away. My wife saw that something was the matter with me, and inquired what it was, for, said she, " vou look like death." I was constrained to turn from her and weep, for I expected she knew my condition, as she had been a member of the Presbyterian Church for many years y and was a praying woman. Bed time being came, I told her I should sleep by myself : when I lay down and fell into a doze, my mind was filled with awful apparitions. I thought I saw devils ready to take me ; hell open, ready to receive me ; and that I was rolling, bed and all, into the flames, while other huge devils stood ready to receive me.

Then I would suddenly awake in the greatest distress imaginable, and so I continued during the night. Next morning, being the 9th of October, 1772, having a piece of grass to cut, I ajose and went to it : as soon as I began to mow, I was taken with fainting fits, and it seemed to rne that the earth would open and swallow me up, while my troubled heart beat so loud that I could hear the strokes, and could compare it to two men a boxing or threshing, more than like its usual motion. It occurred to my mind, what is all the world to me ; I shall be dead and damned before the setting sun. This caused me to lay down my scythe, while I stood weeping for my sins ; but alas ! all in vain. I still grew worse, and went back to the house under great distress, where I read some hymns that I had in a book, of the sufferings of our blessed Lord and Saviour. Here my heart was tendered, and I could weep freely, until my very cheeks were sore with wiping them. It was pressed upon me to pray, and perhaps the Lord would have mercy upon me. I endeavoured to comply with the impression, and went to a lonely place and kneeled down to pray ; but the devil suggested to my mind that there was somebody hid in the woods, and they would laugh at me ; so I arose and looked all round for them, but could see no one, yet I dared not pray there. However, I went to the other end of my field and kneeled down again : here the enemy suggested the same thing, but the Lord gave me strength to pray, it being the first time I ever prayed with a vocal voice. My prayer was not like the Pharisee, but like the poor publican, I cried, " God be merciful to me a sinner /" God have mercy on me ! I believe I might have been heard half a mile ; my distress was not so great when I arose from prayer as when I kneeled ; for I believe I could not have continued in the body, if God had not moderated the pain and anxiety that I was in, but must have expired before the going down of the sun. Glory to God, I felt my distress somewhat removed ! I then returned to the house and sat down to dinner, but my soul was still in so great distress that I could not eat ; although I put food into my mouth and chewed it, yet I could not swallow it ; so in as private a manner as possible, that my wife should not discover my anxiety, I threw it to the dog, and asked her if she would go with me to meeting, as a Methodist preacher was to preach in the neighbourhood that afternoon : she agreed, and we went. When we got there, the people not being assembled, I retired into the woods to pray, and got in among the boughs of a fallen tree, and then in the utmost anguish of my soul I cried unto God for mercy, so loud that the people at the house heard me. After this I felt something easier, but still had no peace. I then went to one of the near neighbours, and advised them to go with me and hear the preach-

LIFE OP BENJAMIN ABBOTT.

er, whom I spoke so highly of that they all went. When we got there the preacher had come, and there was a large concourse assembled ; a great many more than could get into the house. I went in, sat down, and took my little son upon my knee ; the preacher began soon after. His word was attended with such power that it ran through me from head to foot, and I shook and trembled like Belshazzar, and felt that I should cry out if I did not leave the house, which I determined to do, that I might not expose myself by crying out among the people ; but when I attempted to put my little son down and rise to go, I found that my strength had failed me, and the use of my limbs was so far gone that I was utterly unable to rise. Immediately I cried aloud, like the penitent of old, Save, Lord, or I perish. But before the preacher concluded, I refrained and wiped my eyes ; my heart gave way to shame, and I was tempted to wish I was dead or could die, as I had so exposed myself that my neighbours and acquaintance would laugh at and despise me. When meeting was over I thought to speak to the preacher, but such a crowd got round him disputing points of doctrine, that I could not conveniently get an opportunity. That evening I set up family prayer, it being the first time I ever had attempted to pray in my family. My wife being a strict Presbyterian and professor of religion, she was a praying woman and much pleased with having family prayer ; so that she proved a great help to me, and endeavoured to encourage me in my duty ; although, dear creature, at that time she knew nothing of experimental religion.

Saturday, 10th of October, 1772, my distress continued, although not so great as the day before.

Sunday, 11th, my wife and I went eleven or twelve miles to meeting, in order to hear the same Methodist preacher again. When we arrived at the place, the preacher was walking across a field ; I went and related to him my distress of soul, and told him that I had a desire to be baptized, hoping that it would be of service to make me better, and relieve me of my distress ; for I had no idea of faith in Christ. He asked me if I was a Quaker ? I told him no ; I was nothing but a poor, wretched, condemned sinner. He then exhorted me to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and applied the promises of the Gospel ; I replied, I could not believe that Christ would have mercy on such a sinner as I was, and burst into a flood of tears. He then said, I was the very man that Christ died for, or he would not have awakened me. That it was the lost Christ came to seek, and the greatest of sinners he came to save, and commanded me to believe. We then went to the house ; he soon began to preach, and I stood outside the door, for I was afraid to go in lest I should expose myself again, as on. the Friday before : in his prayer he particularly prayed for the poor broken-hearted sinner. His cries to God on this occasion ran through my heart like darts

LIFE OP T5ENJAMIN ABBOTT. 17

and daggers ; after meeting I returned and prayed in my family, and ever after continued that duty. That night I lay alone, expecting to sleep little, but to pray and weep all night : whenever I fell into a slumber, it appeared to me that I saw hell opened ready to receive me, and I just on the point of dropping in, and devils waiting to seize me. Being thus alarmed, it would arouse me up, crying to the Lord to save me ; and thus I passed the whole night in this terrified, unhappy condition. Just at the dawning of the day, I fell into a dose more like sleep than any I had during the whole night, in which I dreamed that I saw a river as clear as crystal, in the midst of which appeared a rock, with a child sitting upon it, and a multitude of people on the shore, who said the child would be lost. I then saw a small man on the bank of the river, whose hair was very black, and he and I wresded together. I heard the people cry out, The child is lost ; and looking round, I saw it floating down the river, and when it came opposite where we were, it threw up its wings, and I saw it was an angel. The man with whom I wrestled told me there was a sorrel or red horse chained head and hind foot in the river, and bade me go down and loose him. The people parted to the right and left, forming a lane for me to pass through ; I immediately hastened to the river, and went in, the water running over my head, and without receiving any kind of injury, I loosed the horse, and immediately I sprang out of the water like a cork, 2 or the bouncing of a ball, and at that instant I awoke, and saw, by faith, the Lord Jesus Christ standing by me, with his arms extended wide, saying to me, " I died for you."

I then looked up, and by faith I saw the Ancient of Days, and he said to me, " I freely forgive thee for what Christ has dme." At this I burst into a flood of 'tears, and with ]oy m my heart, cried and praised God, and said, ! that there were a minister to give me the Lord's Supper ! Then by faith I saw the Lord Jesus come to me as with a cup in his hand, and he gave it to me, and I took it and drank thereof: it was like unto honey for sweetness. At that moment the Scriptures were wonderfully opened to ray understanding. I was now enabled to interpret the dream or vision to my own satisfaction, viz The river which I saw represented to me the river of life proceeding from the throne of God, spoken of by the psalmist, xivL, 4, and also in Rev. xxli, 1. The numerous company on the shore represented the angels of God, standing to rejoice at my conversion, according to Luke xv, 6, 7. The sorrel or red horse I thought was my own spirit or mind, fettered w 7 ith,the cords of unbelief, or the chains of the devil. The colour represented the carnal mind, or nature of Satan, which was stamped upon me, and thus I was plunged into the river, where the cords of unbelief were immediately loosed by faith, and my captive soul set at liberty.; and my bouncing out was a representation of the lightness of *ny heart, which sprang up to God, upon my instaataneous change from nature to grace. The man at whose command I was loosed was Christ ; thus I was set at liberty from the chains of bondage, and enmity of the carnal mind.

At this time I thought of my daughter, who was under distress of soul ; she was about fourteen years of age ; I looked up toward the -chamber where she was with a particular concern for her conversion, and the Lord said to me, " She is safely landed" which was accompanied with a conviction in my mind that she had found the Lord, which was the case, as I found after I arose and spoke to her. I have since thought that the child I saw in my vision or dream might represent my daughter; who, instead of being lost, was safely landed. She served the Lord a number of years, and died triumphant in the faith ; and I have no doubt but our loss was her infinite gain, and that she landed in glory.

All the time of my conviction I used to consider what Church or society I should join, whether the Baptist, Presbyterian, or Methodist ; but at this time the Lord said unto me, " You must join the Methodists, for they are my people, and they are right."

My heart felt as light as a bird, being relieved of that load of guilt which before had bowed down my spirits, and my body felt as active as when I was eighteen, so that the outward and inward man were both animated, and I felt as if I could have sprung from the bed to the fire, which was about fifteen feet.

I arose and called up the family, and took down the Testament, and the first place I opened was the ninth chapter of Acts, where Saul breathed out threatenings and slaughter against the Church or disciples of the Lord, and if I had had a congregation I could have preached ; but having none only my family, I expounded the chapter and exhorted them, and then sung and prayed. After breakfast I told my wife that I must go and tell the neighbours what the Lord had done for my soul. The first place I went to, the man and his wife were both professors of religion, and members of the Baptist Church : I expected they knew what these things were, and would rejoice with me; but to my great surprise when I related my experience, and told what God had done for my soul, it appeared as strange to them as if I had claimed possession of Old England, and called it all my own. I then sat out to Jacob ElwelPs mill, about two miles off, where I expected to meet with divers persons, and to have an opportunity to exhort them and tell them what I had found. On my way there I exhorted all I met with to turn to God. When I got to the mill, while I was telling them my experience, and exhorting them to flee from the wrath to come, some laughed and others cried, and some thought I had gone distracted. Before night a report was spread all through the neighbourhood that I was raving mad ; at evening I returned home, and asked my wife about her conviction and conversion, expecting, as she professed religion, that she knew what heart religion was ; but to my astonishment I found she never had experienced a change of heart.