The boy's book of morals and manners

Front matter

J)

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

THE

Contents

Page

I. A Few Words to Begin With, . . 7

II. Habits, 10

Preface

Page

Swearing, 109

Gunning, 113

Kindness to Animals, .... 118

A Cruel Spirit, 123

Integrity, 127

Honesty the best Policy, , . . 132

Truthfulness, 136

Neatness, 141

System, 145

Trusts, 150

Quarrels, 154

Getting Mad, 158

Revenge, 163

Self-Reliance, 167

Dangerous Sports, .... 171

Rough Play, 174

Mischievousness, 179

Associates, 187

Temperance, 191

concientiousness, 196

Punctuality, 200

Selfishness, 204

Kindness, . 208

Think Again, . . . . . .217

One Step at a Time, .... 222

One Thing More, 226

XXV.

XXVI.

XXVH.

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XXIX.

XXX.

XXXI.

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XXXIH.

XXXIV.

XXXV.

XXXVI.

XXXVH.

XXXVIII.

XXXIX.

XL.

XLI.

XLH.

XLHI.

XLIV.

XLV.

XL VI.

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XLvm.

XLIX.

L.

LI.

LII.

i.

A FEW WORDS TO BEGIN WITH.

My Young Friends : — I am about to offer you a few plain counsels, suited to your age and condition. I mean they shall be kind words, and I do not want you to think of me as an old and stern man, who has forgotten that he was ever a child himself, and has lost all sympathy for boyhood. No ; I feel a great interest in boys, and love to mingle with them, and to write for them. To add to their knowledge, to promote their happiness, to strengthen their good impulses, and in any way to advance their interests, I shall always account a pleasure.

It seems but a very few years since I was myself a boy, and gaily trundled my hoop about the streets, and pored over my hard lessons with far too little patience, and went up to the house of Grod, each Sab* bath, and listened, sometimes seriously, but too often carelessly, to the preacher. I was a Sabbath school boy, too, and remember the old, square, green-painted pew in which our little class assembled, and the pretty library books that were lent to us, and the monthly "Sabbath School Visiter, " that filled the place now occupied by the " Well-Spring." How many excellent resolutions I thought of making, in those days, but never quite adopted ! What a vast amount of good I laid out, to be performed when I should become a man ! What a sincere, active, useful Christian I meant to be, some time or other ! Ah, there was the great mistake. All my plans for becoming good, and doing good, had reference to the future, and not to the present. I forgot that the best time to put a good resolution into effect, is now, and so I waited and waited for I know not what.

So much for myself, by way of introduction. And now, my young readers, give me your confidence and attention, while you read these pages. Read carefully, ponder seriously, and try to profit by what I have written. If you find any good quality described here, to which you cannot lay claim, determine to make it yours at once. If you find any evil habit portrayed, to which you are addicted, resolve to put it away. This is the way to read. If the hundreds, perhaps thousands, of lads whose bright eyes shall light on these pages, would all read in this manner, who can tell what happy influences would flow from this one little volume ! So may it be ! 2

10 THE BOX'S BOOK OF

II. Habits

You are all familiar, my young friends, with the saying of the prophet Jeremiah, " Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots ? then may ye also do good that are accustomed to do evil." But did you ever stop to inquire the meaning of this verse? It has a meaning, and that meaning embodies a very important truth, viz., that it is almost impossible to change our habits or customs, after they have become firmly established. It matters not whether these habits are good or bad ; in either case, if they once get thoroughly rooted, the chances are that they will cling to us through life, like the dark hue of the Ethiopian, or the spotted skin of the leopard. There is, therefore, little encouragement to try to persuade old people to break up their bad habits. They will often admit the truth of what you say, when you remonstrate with them, and will express a wish that they could break the chain that binds them. " But," they will insist, " it is too late for us to reform; the habit has become part of our nature, and it would be like cutting off a right band to give it up. No, we can't give it up ; but go and talk to the young, and warn them not to follow our example."

And to the young I will appeal. You, my readers, are now putting on habits which you are to wear, like a garment, through life. It is an easy matter, now, to choose or reject, but do not suppose that it will always be so. By-and-by these habits, which bind themselves upon you so gently and silently, will become a part of your character, and cannot be shaken off without a severe struggle. Are you realizing this ? If you are, let me ask, what is the nature of these habits ? Is there among them a habit of disobedience, or rudeness, or passion, or negligence, or complaining, or falsehood, or swearing, or dishonesty, or laziness, or any thing else of an evil nature? And are these the habits you would carry with you through life ? Would you have these leopard-spots stamped upon your character so deeply that you cannot efface them ? Ah, beware how you trifle with these vicious habits, if you would not have them obtain the mastery over you. A single indulgence may seem a small matter, but it is precisely by these single indulgences that any bad habit is formed.

So it is with good habits. "When we have practised good actions awhile," Archbishop Tillotson says, " they become easy ; and when they are easy, we begin to take pleasure in them ; and when they please us, we do them frequently ; and by frequency of acts they grow into a habit." All this is very plain, but the young do not always understand it. It is not so hard to form good habits as they sometimes suppose. The main thing is to begin right, and to begin in season. Here, then, are two facts of great importance to the young. The first is, that you can form such habits as you choose. If you think tobacco-chewing a manly accomplishment, you can easily acquire it, although the first effort may not be very pleasant. If you would like to acquire a habit of tippling, or swearing, or quarreling, you have only to persevere a little while, and you will succeed. And on the other hand, if you would acquire a habit of observation, or a habit of reading, or a habit of speaking the truth, or any other desirable habit, it may be easily done, on the same principle. The effort may be a little irksome at first, but this will speedily wear off, and you will begin to take real pleasure in the struggle.

The other important fact is, that habits adopted in youth are likely to cling to us through life. It is related of Hercules, the ancient heathen demi-god, that he arrayed himself in a tunic, or vesture, which had been poisoned. As soon as he discovered the fact, he attempted to tear off the fatal dress ; but it had incorporated itself with his skin, so that he could not remove it, and the venom quickly penetrated his body, until, in his desperation, he burnt himself to death to end his tortures. This story is doubtless fabulous ; but I have sometimes suspected that there might be some real truth concealed here under a fictitious guise. Possibly, this poisoned vesture is to be understood figuratively, as descriptive of the dreadful effects of some evil habits into which Hercules had fallen, and which at length goaded him to self-destruction. Whether this interpretation is correct or not, it matters little to us ; but of this I can assure you, that every bad habit you form will become like a poisonous garment, affecting more or less seriously the health and purity of body, mind and heart.

2*

III. Getting Used To It

When gazing at a picture of a battle, with its horrible scenes of carnage and wo, did you never wonder how men could be induced to engage in such a dreadful business ? And if you expressed your astonishment in words, did not some one reply, " 0, they get used to it, and then they don't mind it at all !" Well, that does explain the mystery, in a very few words. A man can get used to almost anything. Habit becomes second nature ; and what was very disagreeable to him at first, after a while grows pleasant, as he accustoms himself to it. This influence by which men are so easily affected, is called the power of habit. By it the way of ruin is made fearfully smooth and easy. By it, also, we are greatly aided in our progress towards ths true and the good.

Some years ago, a party of Englishmen, under Sir John Boss, went to the Arctic regions, on an exploring expedition. Unfortunately, their vessel got fastened in the vast fields of ice which abound in

MORALS AND MANNERS.

that desolate region, and they were obliged to remain there some five years, when another vessel came from England to their relief. The party endured many severe hardships, during their long and dreary imprisonment ; but they had become so accustomed to these things, that when aid came, they found it somewhat difficult to break up their new habits of living, unnatural as they were. Few of them, for example, could sleep upon the comfortable beds which were provided, so used had they become to reposing on the cold, hard snow and rocks.

The comfort which these men found in sleeping out doors in that cold region, upon a bed of ice, is very much like the pleasure that people sometimes derive from vicious habits. Tobacco, for instance, is very nauseous at first, though after a while it becomes pleasant to the taste. But if there is any enjoyment in chewing or smoking tobacco, there is a still greater enjoyment in letting it alone. The latter excels the former, as much as the pleasure of reposing on soft beds is superior to that of sleeping on the hard couch of the Arctic voyagers.

The ancient Komans used to have a horrible species of amusement, known as gladiatorial combats. At these entertainments, men fought with each other, and with savage beasts, and the slaughter was often terrible. When these bloody shows were first introduced, the people regarded them with horror; but as they grew familiar with the sickening scenes, they began to like them, and at length found their chief delight in witnessing the carnage of the arena. By merely getting used to sights of cruelty, the disposition of the people was entirely changed, and Rome, in its declining days, was deluged with blood. The effect would be the same, among us, if it were possible to revive this barbarous species of amusement. But if we have no gladiatorial shows, I fear something of the abominable spirit of these old heathen festivals still lingers amongst us. It is displayed when a gang of thoughtless boys coax a couple of their mates into an angry contest, for the sake of seeing them fight ; or when they attempt to get up a battle between two animals, for a similar reason ; or when they amuse themselves by wounding or killing harmless animals. Familiarity with such scenes, must harden the heart, and foster a cruel disposition.

The Bible tells us that the wicked "shall be holden with the cords of his sin," and you see how this is realized, by the influence which habit exercises over us. The only safe rule, then, is to avoid the beginnings of evil. Even a little indulgence in a bad habit, now and then, is dangerous, to a person's morals, and may end in his ruin.

But there is a bright as well as a dark side to this subject. You may accustom yourself to any good habit, as easily as to a bad one. However unnatural or disagreeable it may seem at first, it will grow easy and pleasant, as you get used to it ; and when the habit is once thoroughly established, it will give you no further trouble - — it will take care of itself. Try it, my young readers, and see how this wonderful power of habit will aid you, in your efforts at self-improvement.

IV. As The Boy, So The Man

Most of you, I have* no doubt, often look ahead a few years, and try to imagine what you shall be, and do, when you have arrived at manhood. You naturally feel curious to know how you shall appear then, and whether you shall be distinguished for your riches, your learning, your ingenuity, your strength, your beauty, your eloquence, your position, your enterprise, or your goodness ; for, of course, you expect to be distinguished for something — all boys do. But how should you like to have your fortune told, so that you could know in advance just what prizes and blanks you are to draw in the great lottery of life ?

c ' ! " I hear some bright-eyed lad exclaim, " that would be fine — but do you believe in fortune-telling, sir?"

Yes, I believe in a certain kind of fortune-telling. It is not that kind, however, by which silly men and women are sometimes duped out of their money by ignorant and wicked imposters, who pretend to have an absolute knowledge of future events. The fortune-telling that I believe in, is based on this great principle of the physical and moral world — " Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap ; " as the seed, so the plant — as the boy, so the man. According to this principle, if I know precisely what your present habits, disposition and character are, I can guess pretty nearly what sort of a man you will make, should you grow up to maturity ; and if I also know by what influences you are surrounded, and can calculate their effects upon you, I shall be able to foretell your fortune with even more certainty. In most cases, the man is but an enlarged and mature reflection of the boy. The exceptions to this law are very few. Now and then a man may, by a great effort, suddenly change the whole direction of his life ; but ordinarily the habits and manners that he adopts in boyhood, will stick to him through life, like the features of his countenance. There was a clergyman in Massachusetts, many years ago, who, as was then a common custom, instructed a large number of boys, in branches that were not taught in the common schools. He kept a journal, in which he recorded a general outline of the character of each of his pupils ; and in later life, when such of these boys as survived had become mature men, he said he was forcibly struck, on refering to his journal, with the fact, that in nearly every case, as was the boy so now was the man.

Another teacher related the following facts, a few years since, in a public meeting. In his preparatory course, he said, there were two boys attending the same academy, with apparently the same opportunities to rise to eminence and distinction. One of these paid very little attention to anything but his books and teachers — was always in his place, and ready to recite when called upon for his lesson. The other was not fond of his books, nor school ; but if there was a party, or ball, within inviting distance, he was always sure to get an invitation, and just as sure never to decline. Time passed on, and the boys left the academy. The industrious young man went to college, graduated with high honor, studied law, was sent to Congress, and was finally appointed Judge of the Supreme Court of the United States. And while he was thus enjoying the honors justly bestowed upon him as the fruit of a well-spent boyhood, his former party-going and pleasure-hunting companion had also found his place. And, boys, where do think it was ? You shall hear. He was employed as a street scavenger in a country village not far from the metropolis of New England. Thus you see that whatsoever a boy soweth, that shall he also reap.

An English nobleman, Lord Shaftsbury, recently submitted the following question to one hundred city missionaries :

" How many, do you estimate, having lived an honest life up to twenty years of age, have afterwards fallen away and entered on vicious courses ? "

The answer from almost every missionary was,

"Not two in one hundred"

What a striking illustration is this of the truth of our saying, " As the boy so the man."

The venerable Prof. Silliman, of Yale College, is said to have expressed it as his opinion, after a long life of observation in his intercourse with students, that the general principles, habit and character, acquired by a young man before he is seventeen years old, will not often be radically changed in after life.

An anecdote is told of Washington's mother, which illustrates the same principle. When Lafayette, at the close of the revolutionary war, spoke to the venerable lady of the glory her son had achieved, Mrs. Washington made this memorable reply :

" I am not surprised, for George was always a good boy"

Among the young men who entered Harvard College in the class of 1770, there was a lad who, but three or four months previous, had completed his twelfth year. I do not think it was a very safe place for a youth of his tender years — away from the 3 counsels and restraints of home, under a discipline designed for those who are old enough to govern themselves, and thrown into the society of young men older than himself, among whom there must have been not a few wild and reckless spirits. But, despite all these dangers, the little student passed through college unscathed, and became so good and eminent a man, that thirty years after he graduated, he was elected president of that very college. That incorruptible little boy, and that eminent man, was Fisher Ames ; and thus his biographer explains the secret of his greatness :

61 His spotless youth brought blessings to the whole remainder of his life. Beginning well, he advanced with unremitted steps in the race of virtue, and arrived at the end of life with peace and honor."

What a sermon to boys do those few lines contain ! My young reader, have you begun well ? If you have not, even now it may not be too late to correct your error.

V. Attention

In books, and newspapers, and letters, you will often see the letters "N. B." prefixed to a sentence. They stand for the Latin words Nota Bene, and mean, observe well^ or take notice. I have been thinking that perhaps " N. B." would not be a bad maxim for some of you to adopt. It is so short that you could hardly forget it, even if you wished to do so ; and the lesson, or admonition, which it conveys, is a very valuable one. .Observe well — take notice — pay attention — is not that very good advice for a heedless young fellow, who is always in such a hurry that he never can stop to notice anything? There is Eddy, for instance, who, when sent on an errand, is sure to do it wrong, because he didn't notice the directions given him. When his father is telling him where to go, and what to say , he is thinking of something else ; and when he undertakes to deliver the message, he finds that he has forgotten one half of it, and isn't quite sure of the other half.

Then there is Thomas, who is hardly ever able to answer correctly the questions in his Sabbath school lesson. He studies the lesson, in his way ; that is, he looks it over hurriedly, and hunts up the Bible references ; but he pays so little attention to what he is about, that he would scarcely be able to tell the subject of the lesson, if the title were not printed in the question book. He is a dull scholar at the week-day school, too, and will never rank very high in his class, unless he learns to give his mind to his lessons.

And there is John, who has lately gone to work at a trade. He means well enough, but his master complains that he is thoughtless, and doesn't notice what he is doing, and thus spoils a great deal of work. Now if "N. B." could be stamped in great letters upon John's work-bench, and Thomas's school books, and Eddy's memory, until it cured them of their bad habits, do you not think it would be a blessing to them?

Take notice — observe well — give your mind to your lessons — that is the way to learn. Do this, and you will be all the time picking up and storing away ideas in your mind. The habit you will thus form will be of great value to you through life. It has led many to wealth, learning and distinction. Better than this, it has led many others into the kingdom of heaven. Religion suffers more from inattention and thoughtlessness, perhaps, than from anything else. The first step to conversion is to take notice, to observe, to give attention to the claims of the Saviour. Will you not think of this, and resolve to acquire this habit of observation and attention?

Did you ever read of the remarkable sagacity which the Arabs manifest, in drawing conclusions from the foot-prints of animals and men in the desert ? An expert Bedouin can tell, from the tracks in the sand, whether the camel that has passed was loaded or unloaded, whether recently fed or suffering from hunger, whether fatigued or fresh, the time when it passed by, whether the owner was a man of the desert or of the town, whether a friend or foe, and sometimes even the name of the tribe.

Here you see what this habit of taking notice can do for the poor son of the desert. And should you like to know how the Arab acquires this valuable habit ? He does it before he is as old as many of you are, as you may see from the following extract, which I copy from Mr. Layard's " Nineveh and Babylon." He says : —

" This quickness of perception is the result of continual observation and of caution, encouraged from earliest youth. When the warriors of a tribe are engaged in distant forays, or in war, their tents and flocks are frequently left to the care of a mere 3* child. He must receive strangers, amongst whom may he those having claims of blood upon his family, and must guard against marauders who may be lurking about the encampment. Every unknown sign and mark must be examined and accounted for. If he should see the track of a horseman, he must ask himself why one so near the dwelling did not stop to eat bread and drink water ? was he a spy — one of a party meditating attack ? or a traveler, who did not know the site of the tents ? When did he pass ? From whence did he come ? Whilst the child in a civilized country is still under the care of the nurse, the Bedouin boy is compelled to exercise his highest faculties, and on his prudence and sagacity may sometimes depend the safety of his tribe."

This habit, which the boys of the desert find so necessary, is also of great importance to the boys of civilized life. And now, Eddy, and Thomas, and John, and all the rest of you who have fallen into habits of inattention, I hope you will at least " observe well " this admonition.

VI. Reputation

You have often heard men speak of their reputation, as something which they value more than gold or personal comfort. Next to the approval of God and their own consciences, they esteem the good opinions of their fellow-men. A stain upon their good name, would be almost the worst earthly calamity that could befal them. This is the feeling of all honorable, upright and high-minded men. And it is a proper feeling ; for the wise man has said,

" A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches."

Even bad men often set a high value upon a good name, and will make most extraordinary efforts to retain it, after their characters have become utterly corrupt. Hypocrisy is only a tribute which bad men pay to virtue. No man, who has not reached the lowest depth of degradation, is willing to have his name become a reproach and a by-word among men.

You all know very well what this jewel is, that is thus prized by the good, and reluctantly yielded up by the bad. But have you ever considered that it is a treasure which may be worn by the young as well as the old ? Have you begun to bind it around your heart, and to cherish it as something you have determined never to part with ? If you have not, then you have made a great mistake, in setting out upon your journey of life.

A man's reputation is the product of an innumerable multitude of acts. He begins to form it in very early life. You, my young friends, have already commenced the process, and each one of you has even now a reputation, either good or bad. You are adding to and confirming it, every day. Your associates know what it is, and so do your parents, teachers and neighbors. Is it, let me ask, such a reputation as you would like to carry with you through life? Is it a good name — spotless and without reproach ?

No youth of good sense and character will be indifferent to the opinions of others. Sometimes we hear bad, bold boys say that they do not care what people think of them ; but I suspect this is seldom true. They do care for the opinion of others, more than they are willing to confess. They cannot help it, if they would. God has implanted within us this natural desire to appear well in the eyes of others, and none but the most abandoned are free from its influence.

A good reputation may not only be acquired in boyhood, but many important advantages may flow from it, even in that early period of life. You have all witnessed illustrations of this, in the little circle of your own acquaintance. The boy who has a good name, is believed when others are doubted, and trusted where others are not allowed to go. Even if he occasionally does wrong, his good character shields him from the consequences, and he is forgiven. When he leaves school, and seeks employment, his good name is a passport to a good situation ; and thus, at every step through life, does he realize more and more that virtue is its own reward.

Two or three boys were once arrested in Boston, charged with throwing stones in the streets. They were very much alarmed at the idea of being taken before a court ; but when their trial came on, their schoolmaster appeared, and gave them such a good character, that the judge was satisfied their offence was unintentional, and let them off with the smallest fine the law would allow. Thus did they experience one of the benefits of having a good name.

How different is the case with those who are cursed with a bad name. They not only fare hard, when actually guilty of wrong doing, but are often suspected and blamed when innocent. Every mischievous act that cannot be traced to its source, is laid at their door, and thus they become the scapegoats of the circle in which they move. As they grow up to manhood, they find themselves the victims of evil and mischievous reports, which ever hover around and keep before them, stealing into the ears of those whose good-will they wish to win, and disappointing all their hopes and plans. They may now reform their ways, but 0, how hard it is to shake off a bad name !

My young reader, commence now, if you have not already, and earn for yourself that which is rather to be chosen than great riches — a good name.

" Children, choose it, don't refuse it, 'Tis a precious diadem; Highly prize it, don't despise it, You will need it when you 're men.

" Love and cherish, keep and nourish, 'T is more precious far than gold; Watch and guard it, don't discard it, You will need it when you 're old,"

VII. Wishing

Not long ago, as I was walking in the street, I happened to overhear the following conversation between two small lads, who were returning home from school, with their books under their arms,