The matrimonial agent of Potsdam; a humoro-social romance

Front matter

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Chapter I. A Few Words About Women, Love, And Matrimony

Among all created beings there is a desire to form pairs — a tendency on the part of both sexes to unite.

In this desire, in this tendency, the first instinctive longing for matrimony is seen.

The male plant feels attracted to the female ; the gentle breezes promote contact and kisses between them which are more or less fragrant, and, although these contacts and osculations are given and received unconsciously, still they produce the physical results of matrimony, and afford poets the justification of attributing a soul to plants having a corporeal form. Thus it has been poetically said that the violets titter to and kiss each other, and that the dreamy pine-tree wastes and suffers in his silent love for the tall and graceful palm upon the burning desert, in the distant south beyond his reach.

We find the same phenomena in the animal world, | but vastly more pronounced.

The birds, especially the tender doves, the merry sparrows, and even the raven and the magpie, who usually are not very strict as regards the rights of property, lead a permanent wedded life, and the female, especially, is faithful and constant.

Even those migratory birds, of whom the males and the females, in the fall of the year, congregate in separate houses, and apart make their long journeys, find one another again in the spring of the year.

The male nightingale beats about and searches in the silent, shadowy bush till his lately-arrived female partner, who recognizes her loving husband by his voice, joins him for the purpose of j beginning a new and fresh love-life after their long separation ; and the rough, robber sparrow-hawk, after leading the life of a vagabond through the winter, finds himself again, in the spring of the year, with the same female bird, upon the same tree which they occupied together in the previous autumn.

Among the wfild birds these marriages are the truest and purest, the partridges remain together during the entire winter in families, and not till the spring of the year, when the young brood has acquired the necessary training to obtain their own food, do these detach themselves from the parents, for the purpose of starting out in the world and forming families for themselves.

Among the domesticated birds, fowls, such as geese, ducks, etc., which have already been spoiled and corrupted by training, matrimony has degenerated into a polygamous life, and the family tie is in this wa y loosened in the most demoralizing manner.

We find the same conditions in other animals. The wild and the free creatures living in the woods and fields, such as lions, bears, and especially apes, form firmly united families, and have well-regulated and sedate households; while domestic animals, such as horses, cows, sheep, and swine, owing to the slavish life they are born in and live in till they perish, have lost ail proper feelings for the family they

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originated from, and have no other idea bnt to propagate themselves according to the refined combinations instigated by their master, man.

The dog, to whom these attributes are only partly applicable, is in reality a most independent and reckless fellow, for he wfill run after every female of his kind without becoming attached to any one. The indiscriminately loving Thomas cat is no better in that respect, and creates such detestable rows in nightly escapades at his various rendezvous, that he reminds one of the dissolute serenades of the revelling students of Salamanca.

As in the lower orders, the disposition to form pairs exists in the noblest of all animals, man, though in the latter the circumstances and status which the two sexes bear to each other have, in the course of centuries, owing to the progress of culture and its accompanying spirit of the times, become greatly altered.

In man there is not only an attraction of body to body, not only the instinctive animal feeling of friendship that is combined with it, but the soul joins it, and the spirit that permeates both corporeal longings invests it with the nimbus-rays of poetry ; on the other hand, however, this tender and exalted bearing which he has thus attained has become so base, by the corrupting influence of over-refinement and speculation, that he ought to blush in the presence of the lower animals.

Thus there always remains a mixture of half animal and half angel in man, and now the one, and then again the other predominates, and we have an eternal strife between both elements that does not permit us to become perfect — which, alas ! will never be otherwise on this earth.

An effort to attain as near as possible to the ideal is all that we can do.

In olden times woman w r as the natural representative of love, culture, and elegant manners, of which the illustrious names of Aspasia, Corinna, and Sappho attest sufficiently ; and albeit the Greeks lacked the fantastic enthusiasm of the middle ages, still they were capable of loving to such a degree of self-sacrifice as is totally unknown at the present time.

Who does not know the story of Hero and Leander? It was on the festal day dedicated to Venus and Adonis, at Sestos, on the Thracian coast, that mutual love sprung up at first sight in the breast of both, with such glowing ardor that it could not be suppressed. But Hero was a priestess of the goddess Venus, and her dear parents, as usual, were worshippers of selfishness and prejudice, so that a matrimonial union between the lovers was altogether out of the question. Nowadays such hopeless condition would cause them, at the most, a slight and temporary illness ; but not so with Leander. He did not allow himself to be deterred or frightened by such obstacles, but nightly, in all kinds of weather, he swam the Hellespont — taking an hour and a quarter to cross it — to where his beloved Hero awaited him, who received him with warm arms and pressed him to a still more warm heart. With heating drinks and her hot love she reanimated the chilled form of her lover. At daybreak he would wrap himself in his light mantle, which had meanwhile been dried before the fire, and perfectly happy with the blissful remembrance of his enjoyments, he would swim back to Abydos, and soon was absorbed in the business of the day, as if nothing unusual had happened. The mere thought of such an act nowadays would be sufficient to produce an everlasting cold in the head of our youth, who would then swathe themselves in flannels and require foot-baths and cough medicine for weeks.

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The more serious and sedate Homan matrons enjoyed great respect in their country, and received the homage and love of the men till shortly before the fall of the empire — which was then tantamount to the civilized world — when the old honorable customs broke down and were swept away by the great changes which society underwent.

During the grand and chivalrous middle ages woman attained to the highest state of culture, and received the homage and attention of the most valiant knights. That was the time of the beautiful manners, of the kniglit-errants and minstrelsy, when the virtue and the beauty of the wife was the sun around which everything revolved, when she charmed everybody and ennobled everything.

In the middle ages woman exercised an inspiring, though at times also a vicious, power upon the male world, but she had justly acquired this power by the true and voluntary homage of the men, by her great worth and noble virtues, by the poetic feelings she inspired ; and the noble deeds that were performed in her name were sung and proclaimed by the troubadours, which our sober times are no more capable of producing.

We talk so much nowadays of the excellent education we give our daughters ! But candor and unbiassed judgment would soon convince us that our ladies have learned very little, if, as is customary, at sixteen, seventeen, or more years of age, they put on long gowns and appear in society, or, as it is socially expressed, they “come out.” They can speak a little in one or two foreign languages, with a marked accent ; sometimes they are only able to translate their thoughts in foreign words, and which is of no earthly use to them whatever ; they play upon the piano after a fashion, sing a little to their own satisfaction and to other people’s annoyance, some silly ditty ; they paint some unrecognizable things upon the now fashionable plaques or china, dance wonderfully well, study the latest fashion very hard, strive to their utmost to make themselves attractive to the sterner sex in appearance ; but care very little for the higher attributes of the sex, or for the duties they may be destined to perform.

How different it was in the middle ages ! Then the youth, who now is trained at school and college till he has attained to man’s estate, w r as sent as a page, as early as the tenth year, into service of some nobleman’s house or of some renowned soldier, while the daughter remained at home till she was eighteen or twenty years old. And first of all she was taught the duties of housekeeping, among which was spinning — but which nowadays is only known by the presence of a fancy spinning-wheel in some ultra fashionable parlor ; next embroidery, which in those days w r as a real art and attained to the highest degree of excellence and perfection, because such things as wall paper was unknown, and the cold bare walls were covered with rich and beautifully embroidered tapestry. In addition, the ladies were obliged to acquire the art of tailoring and dressmaking, for they not only had to make their own garments, but those for the whole household. Vocal and instrumental music, and the languages were also assiduously cultivated ; but above all, they were taught to be virtuous and kind, to be modest and refined in manners, qualities that readily won them the esteem and regard of the men, and charmed all those that associated with them.

Thus the ladies acquired all the excellent qualities of the heart and mind, together with the refinement of good breeding, which was regarded as the highest of womanly virtues by the knights of the middle ages.

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Love and heroic deeds, in order to win reciprocal love, were the main requirements and the main passion of the youth of the middle ages ; and if in their endeavors to win the esteem of their ladyloves they occasionally went too far, and to us appear ridiculous, it is nevertheless necessary to recognize the power which love exercised, and which filled the heart of the true knight, as also the high price and value which the illustrious dame placed upon the love which she reciprocated.

The power of the imagination of love was often carried to such a pitch that instances are recorded where a knight, from mere hearsay, became actually infatuated with a woman he had never seen. The provincial poet Jansee Rudel fell in love with a Countess of Tripoli from a description given of her by a returning pilgrim, and he composed a number of beautiful poems in praise of her, though he saw her not and she heard him not. After he had thus sung and suffered for a long while, and being unable longer to resist his longing to see his unknown love, he took his cross and sailed for the Holy Land. He became deathly sick at sea, but arrived in Tripoli alive, and was taken to a hotel — which was then called a herberge. When the Countess of Tripoli learned of the circumstances, she repaired to the young man’s couch and locked him in her arms. The pleasurable emotions which this act exercised upon the dying poet caused him to revive, he opened his eyes, and thanked God that He had permitted him to live long enough to see his beloved mistress. The countess embraced him again, but the emotion was too much for him, for he soon expired. The grief of the countess over the death of the noble youth was so great that she retired to a convent, where she too soon ended her life.

If our pretty young ladies of to-day were loved so ardently and loved as mncli in return, liow happy we would be !

When the Knight Gawan was accepted by the beautiful Obilot as her champion, she gave him a bracelet which she had worn upon her arm. He fastened this bracelet upon his shield and went into the battle with it. After the fight was over he brought it back, dreadfully cut and hacked, when she again put it upon her arm and proudly wore it.

The same thing was done by Gahument and Herzeleine with a chemise. First she wore the fine cambric chemise, and then he put it over his coat of mail. Badly cut up and pierced as it was by the blows and thrusts which he had received, she took it and put it on, and wore it next to the skin. They did the same thing with eighteen chemises, and as the valiant Gahument was brought to her dead, the tender Herzeleine wanted to put on the torn and bloody shirt which he had w r orn when he was killed, but her parents would not permit her to do it.

But things did not remain so nice and affecting always. The ladies, gradually spoiled by the excessive adulation and devotion that was shown them, became proud and overbearing, and exacted such severe proofs from their champions that it was scarcely possible to perform them ; but they were nevertheless executed till the knights themselves lapsed into a demoralized state, and the entire beautiful custom fell into disuse.

Although Ulrich von Lichtenstein, with indescribable satisfaction, drank the water which his adored mistress washed her beautiful hands in, he was nevertheless subsequently compelled to submit to an operation to rectify his misshaped mouth, because she found fault with it ; and Paroli hacked off his little finger, which was broken in a tourney, and sent it to his lady-love in a beautiful casket.

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Another troubadour, Paire Vidal, at the wish expressed bv his fair lady, allowed himself to be sewed up in a fur skin, in which he ran about on all fours in the mountains, and was chased by the shepherds and their dogs till he dropped down half dead, and had to be carried home.

Such things, however, if carried to a pitch of absurdity, could only result in one condition, namely, the breaking down of the custom from sheer folly of the acts, and hence the entire practice was soon totally abandoned.

The flowers of knighthood were soon swept away, and a long, cold winter settled upon society ; it was all over with poetry and passion, and soul-delirium or phantasy gave place to soberness.

The knight now went hunting, and when at dusk he came home tired and weary, he caroused till midnight, and then, overpowered by wine, dropped down upon the hard boards, and there he passed the rest of the night and part of the following day.

Of what use was it then for the ladies, with such knights, to be beautiful and accomplished ? They withdrew themselves from such companions, and locked themselves in their own apartments, and became as serious and silent as formerly they were serene and amiable ; but deep in the working centres of their thoughts they meditated how they could regain the hearts of the men and reclaim the degenerated spirit of the age.

Thus there dawned after the revolution a new time, and Poetry and Love failed to awaken new morning glories.

The tender, naive enthusiasm of the heart which went to sleep at the time the glory of knighthood fell into decay, did not awaken again ; idealism was constantly more and more supplanted by realism.

Speculation laid its chilling effect upon the heart, practical understanding displaced the impractical mind; calculation took the place of feelings, the most sacred emotions of the human breast sank down to a mere commercial commodity, the social relations and laws did their part to hinder and contract Poetry and the voluntary tendency of the heart.

Let us consider for a moment the position assigned to woman to-day, compared with the exalted position she occupied during the middle ages.

True, women are to-day the true representatives and custodians of pure Love, its customs and tender mysteries ; but the spirit of the times and social circumstances have overshadowed and levelled these fine old qualities. Outward show and a certain amount of comedy acting and masking, have been acquired by them, which the men on the one hand exact, and on the other severely condemn.

At a time when so many imitation jewels are worn the genuine stone loses its full value, it is not regarded as genuine, and discouraged by this fact, it also transforms itself into an imitation.

The tendency to self-sacrifice constanly becomes more rare. Woman, it is true, even at this day possesses a certain amount of power which man has conceded to her, but it is only an illusive power. The sovereignty of the middle ages has been transformed into the constitutionalism of modern times, and, in place of the passionate, deeplyfelt tenderness of the heart which was then considered as her due, she is now disposed of with mere phrases of platitude.

And what has become of the lyric-singing knight-errants of the middle ages ? Secretaries of legations, lieutenants, inspectors, government clerks and idlers, those that have passed, and those that have not passed the third examination, who amble

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through life without earnestness, and often without the least object !

A feeble, short-sighted, rheumatic, thin-haired, and blase youth has grown up out of the barren soil of the sober, calculating modern times, an egoistic youth who loves himself only, and who is only attracted to the fair sex by frivolity or speculation.

Really they play an unhappy role, the successors of the champion-knights of the middle ages ; they do not dance any more, because it is too taxing to their feeble energies ; they sing no more, because they haven’t soul enough to sing, and because they rarely study any lyrical music ; and the piercing sighs which escaped the breasts of our ancestors at the mere thought of a female, are now only mentioned in romances and sensational stories.

There are, it is true, exceptions to these, since no rule is without exceptions ; and far be it from us to say that every youth, and still more every tender Magdalene, should feel hurt or depressed by the peculiar tendencies of our times just described ; rather should each one feel elevated by the thought that he or she is the exception, and that, like a lotos flower, will soar above the weeds in this garden, incline its pale, languishing face dreamily toward another lotos flower, till both die from tender, bashful love-yearnings, or render each other happy as was the case in the middle ages.

But let us turn to the peculiarities of our times.

Because woman was compelled to descend from the flowery throne of the middle ages, when she was sovereign and rendered everyone happy ; because she has been refused the privilege of participating in all kinds of business, has been denied permission to gain a livelihood independently, that would protect her against the dangers that beset her ; because, finally, she has been restricted to the mere passiveness and dependence of existence, her former good qualities have become suppressed and her evil ones, such as vanity, love of show, coquetry, and a longing for frivolities and light dissipation have been fostered.

Custom and social laws, which man has made, have left to woman but one career, namely, the career of matrimony.

For this object woman is reared and trained, for this object she is educated, being superficially taught some studies and totally neglecting others, which would be of the utmost consequence to her in her new sphere of matrimony and maternity.

Thus woman is partially a victim of our social arrangements, and wdien she is thus deficient in knowledge and uninteresting, it is not surprising that matrimonial life is often unhappy, or that so many marriages end in bitter disappointments and separations.

Especially in the higher stations of life is this unfortunate circumstance — which is almost always due to selfishness and fostered by inconsiderateness, — most frequently met with.

Among the nobility, in the higher, and often even in the middle, stations of life, it was the custom, until quite recently, to follow the practice pursued by the reigning families, namely, to arrange a marriage diplomatically by the parents, either for the purpose of retaining an estate in the family, or for some other equally mercenary object. Happily, the instances where a person is forced to marry his or her cousin are now quite rare.

Being destined for a matrimonial life, the girls are taught a little music, a little general knowledge, a good deal of dancing, they pay much attention to dress, and when they have acquired these qualifica-

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tions they “ come out,” at sixteen, seventeen, or more years of age, and take their position in “society,” which in reality means that they are in the “market,” to be had by the highest bidder, or perhaps they are cast into the arms of him whom a scheming mamma deems a good “ catch ” for her darling.

With beating hearts and calculating judgment the buyers are awaited, and each one is estimated according to his possessions, in a real commercial manner.

The rich and high-toned daughter must not marry below her station ; she is to acquire something, because the dearly beloved parents acquired or inherited something; otherwise, what is the use of giving the child such a costly education ? All the great cost and trouble would thus be thrown away.

And if the girl has really retained enough feeling and determination, preferring to marry a poor young man with good principles rather than some decrepit old Croesus, she is denounced and discarded by her relations and friends, and life is often rendered a burden to her by the treatment she receives on that score.

Poor girls are, in this respect, much better off, for their parents make little or no objections to their choice. True, they can often flatter themselves with the thought that they were wooed with no mercenary motives ; can they also truly claim that they married out of pure love ? It would certainly be a remarkable coincidence that two hearts meet upon this earth in which mutual love is kindled.

That, however, does not often happen. Most girls at first are entirely content with the change in their condition ; the new clothes they procured, and the new occupation they have, fill all their wants. This contentment they frequently palm off on themselves and their partners as genuine love and affection. Later on, when new duties and new burdens become superadded, even this pretence at love is swept away, and then there is nothing left but discontent and disappointment.

Love at first sight, that is said to penetrate into two hearts simultaneously, and kindles into a flame, may no doubt occur, but it is not always the most abiding nor the best; still less can be expected from an engagement that ensues during the intervals of a dance at a ball. At such times the heart is coated with too much gloss, and the mind intoxicated with excitement.

In what is called the middle class of society matrimony often transpires fr^m pure inclination, because then both sides are less pretentious, and both parties fully comprehend the duties that will subsequently devolve upon them.

The peasant and day laborer generally have a circle from which to select, and naturally will take the one that pleases them best ; still they always regard a wife as something that is an absolute necessity rather than an ornament.

Well, we have said a good deal about woman, both favorably and unfavorably, but on the whole excused her many faults which custom and manners have engendered in her. Let us now say a word for man, who has placed her in that position, and who as a result must suffer for it; for under such circumstances, what is unfavorable to one sex must necessarily react upon the other.

A great many years have gone by since the fine old days of the middle ages. The childlike and naive ideas of those days have become sharp and tricky by the file of calculating judgment and intelligence ; impracticable poetry has given way to practical prose ; the revolution that has swept through all countries like a cyclone has carried off many a senseless frippery, and initiated the great work of levelling all to one standard ; the population of the world has increased vastly, and the young men have no muse to sing of by day and no fair women to dream of by night; they are obliged to plunge into the midst of the throng and battle for life, strive and labor to acquire a competence, or even only a mere livelihood.

A young man, who naturally enjoys love and its delights best, is therefore compelled to labor a long while before he can think of sharing his modest and hard-earned income with a life-companion.

Especially is this the case with officials, who become old and gray at a desk before their salary is sufficient to maintain a family ; and even the younger sons of rich parents or of the nobility have to pass their best years at some small court or in the army, because the kind parents are not disposed to settle upon the younger son enough to enable him to marry ; and as the latter dare not engage in some profitable pursuit without losing caste, there is no other alternative for him but to dawdle aw T ay his life and keep piling up his debts.

Hence most young men, when they wish to marry, are compelled to look at the amount of the dowry the wife will bring with her, and if one has once commenced to hanker for the almighty dollar, avarice and the desire to possess soon fills the heart, and one will oftener speculate to make a good parti, in which love is but a secondary consideration, than to gain a position by toil and self-denial, and then be able to choose according to the dictates of his heart.

Thus one often sacrifices thoughtlessly his love and domestic happiness for the sake of the wherewith to live a life of ease and comfort, setting the worst possible example to his children.

Some philosophical heads, however, seek to avoid this dilemma. They do not want to make a business matter of matrimony, and for obvious reasons do not want to risk their forty-five years of age with a girl that is only twenty ; nor again the little they may have saved with a poor one who, they fear, is bound sooner or later to get the greater part of it.

These philosophers form that happy (?) class of old bachelors, the noblest representatives of Egotism.

The old bachelor, it is true, does not expect to get anything, neither is he disposed to give anything; he does not expect to be made happy, nor does he hope to make another happy.

But a time comes when he is old and ill, when he goes to bed but does not leave it, and a hired nurse — trained to obduracy — sits at his bedside, who, albeit she serves him, does so for money only, and not for love.

Then he may regret ; then he may suffer from the void he feels ; then he may experience the bitter pang of regret at having lived all his lifetime for himself alone, and hence must die by himself, without possessing a loving hand to smoothe his pillow, to close his eyes, or drop a tear upon his bier.

Unregretted, he is packed into his coffin ; unregretted, his possessions are quickly divided, and upon his grave bloom no roses nor any forget-menots.

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Chapter II. The Young Gentlemen^ Club

Whoever is acquainted with Berlin knows the two restaurants which are situated directly behind the Potsdam bridge, opposite each other, like Scylla and Chary bdis, and which are named respectively the Cafe Mielens and the Cafe Boulevard.

Anyone coming across Potsdam bridge, and attempting to make a detour in order to avoid Cafe Boulevard is sure to be swallowed up, as it were, and without his being able to explain how it happened, by Cafe Mielens ; and whoever seeks to avoid the latter is sure to run into the arms of Cafe Boulevard ; and scarcely has he had time to draw his breath when he finds himself seated behind a seidel (a mug) of foaming beer which the ubiquitous keiner has placed before him.

The place behind the bridge is very well adapted for restaurants, for a large concourse of people here gather every afternoon, having started for a promenade from various parts of the city. They are soon swallowed up by these establishments, which become enlivened like beehives in summer time.

Both restaurants, the Cafe Boulevard and the Cafe Mielens, are among the very first to be filled up with patrons, consisting of army officers, government officials, members of the nobility, etc.