What God hath joined together let not man put asunder; a collection of matrimonial sermons and addresses

Front matter

WHAT GOD HATH JOINED TOGETHER LET NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER

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II

As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God, — 1 Peter 4,10.

Dearly Beloved: Finally, the long-looked-for hour has arrived in which the union of your hearts shall receive the blessing of the Lord. As once, when you became betrothed, you approached your parents to ask their blessing upon your union, knowing that the blessings of the parents buildeth houses for the children, — thus tcday you approach the Lord, your God, to invoke his blessing, knowing that " Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it." Should the Lord our Gcd, of whom His beloved Son, our Saviour, said, " If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask Him?" should He withhold His blessing from those who ask Him? No, for He Himself has said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make an helpmeet for him." He Himself has instituted matrimony. Yes, you may rest assured that the Lord will bless you, that He will say yea and amen to the covenant of your hearts. You feel the solemnity of this hour in which you shall be united for life, and we feel it with you. You are standing on the threshold of a new epoch in your lives, which we hope, will be for you a happy one, through the grace of God.

As a servant of the Lord, I shall address a few words to you before solemnizing your union in His name. I will base my remarks on a passage of Holy Scripture found in I Peter 4:10. "As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."

This is a solemn exhortation which imposes grave duties upon you. The apostle calls you stewards of the manifold grace of God. Each one of you has received from God gifts, powers of body and mind, which you are not to hide like the unjust steward, but which you are to use with His help, first of all in the service of one another, remembering that some day you will have to give an account of your stewardship to Him. Every human being has a distinct personality, but he who looks deeper soon recognizes that every human being needs some other one for the development of his personality. This is the plan of God, who created man for man. And he who allows himself to be guided by God in the important step of choosing a companion for life, will find the one who has been appointed for him by God. For this reason we often say that marriages are made in heaven. We trust that your marriage was made in heaven, and that the Lord has brought you together because you were created for one another. And for this reason also you should serve one another "as good stewards of the manifold grace of God," so that His gracious will may be fulfilled and your home be a home of peace and joy.

You, the husband, with manly strength and firmness should be for your wife a strong support, a safeguard through life. Full of confidence, the parents place the hand of their daughter into yours, entrust to you the future of their child, whom they love; give to you their child that she may be yours. Honor, then, the confidence which the parents place in you. Protect your wife, serve her with the gifts which God has bestowed on you. And you, the wife, also should devote your gifts unto the service of your husband. Make home life pleasant for him, so that he will gladly return after the labor of the day is over. Cool his brow after he has borne the heat of hours of toil; gladden his heart by the love of your heart and the pleasing comforts with which a loving wife can surround her husband. If the husband must find recreation outside of his home, then the fragrance of married life is gone. You have seen the blessedness of a happy home life in the home of your parents. Prepare likewise for your husband a home to which he may gladly turn. By the will of God he has been deprived of a home for many years; let him now find what he desires; make his home happy by serving him with the gifts which the Almighty has given you.

Dearly beloved, I might say a great deal more upon this subject, how each one of you may serve the other with the gifts which he has received, but I will not enlarge on this matter. I will simply say in a general way: serve one another by giving your hearts each to the other, day after day.

The husband desires the heart of his wife, the wife longs to possess the heart of her husband. Of what value is the hand, if one does not possess the heart? The daily giving of the heart is the main requirement for a happy marriage. If husband and wife give one another their hearts clay after day, then discord, dissention, and estrangement will never spring up.

The apostle demands from you mutual service in the truest and noblest sense of the word. But you know from your own experience, that he who desires to serve, must learn to rule — rule over selfishness, and the will of the natural heart. He must daily practise self-denial. However, self-denial is not a plant which grows in the soil of this world, except by the grace of the Lord, who himself practised the greatest self-denial when He gave his life on the cross as a propitiation for our sins.

The natural man can accomplish a great many things by the power of his will, but he only can truly deny himself who has consecrated his life to the Lord and Saviour, and who daily lives in His grace. Therefore I say, be rooted in Christ, and drink freely from the ever-flowing fountain of grace. Daily bow your knees before Him, and before God, your Father in Christ Jesus, and He will give you strength for self-denial and for service. And finally adopt as your motto the words of the pious Joshua, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Amen.

III

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer. — Bomans 12,12.

Dearly Beloved in Christ Jesus, Our Lord: The words of Holy Scripture which you have heard, " Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer," are a golden rule for every Christian, but they bear a special significance for the two who purpose to take the sacred step for which we are come together.

"Rejoicing in hope" would seem unnecessary, of course, to address these words to betrothed or newly wedded persons, for hope is generally the key-note of their souls, and it would be pathetic if it were not so. If the relation between husband and wife is what it should be, then the husband looks upon his chosen companion in life with a warm, happy hope; the wife upon the husband given to her by God, with a living hope for her innermost life, for her wants and wishes, for all her labors during this life.

It is exceedingly precious to be able to lean upon another person with a certain hope that he belongs in every respect to one's self more than to any other human being. Therefore, beloved, rejoice in this hope. Praise the Lord, because you can say as you look upon one another, "Oh, how good it is that I can rejoice in hope."

But the words of the apostle should be not only a good counsel on the wedding day, but they should be a motto for your entire life, even to the very hour of death. .The contents of this passage shall not lose their value, but on the contrary, as*all other Christian truths, shall grow in meaning and influence more and more the longer you live. We rejoice in hope! These words ought to be written on your hearts more clearly every year. This can be experienced only if in the last analysis we do not found our hopes upon one another, but upon Him who is our true stay in life, our assurance for the future, our Lord and our God. Why do we so frequently in our day behold marriages beginning with hope, but soon changing into an indifferent, cold living together? Because people place the hope for married life simply upon the beauty and strength of youth, amiableness, knowledge, wealth or mental gifts. With hopes so placed, one soon learning to know the other, neither can find satisfaction in the attractions of the other. Then one looks here, the other there, hoping to find satisfaction for the longing of the soul. In that moment only two alternatives offer themselves: the world around them with its worldliness, or God above them, who is also with them and in them. If they choose the first, one disappointment will soon be followed by another, and there will ensue a restless hastening from one to the other, and finally indifference and coldness — the last chapter of many marriages. Dearly beloved, I implore you, choose the latter alternative now, namely, the God above you, in you, and with you. This is the precious, yea, the only certain guarantee of a happy marriage, that the bride and groom clasp their hands as they enter upon the holy estate of matrimony, and give each other the promise: We will always rejoice in that hope which is based upon the Lord, our God. For thus you promise that your heart and your soul will always be one.

But the apostle also continues: "Be patient in tribulation." No man, dearly beloved, treads always the flowery paths of ease. There are days when the sky is overcast with dark clouds, and the rumbling thunder ^s heard. Thus, also, you may expect tribulation to afflict you during your married life. What an earnest woman, christian woman on e said to me is most true: Unmarried people never experience the deepest joys of life, but they are safest from the greatest cares and bitterest sorrows. Married life is not only a happy play, but in many respects an earnest school of life.

In this school we learn to know one another. There we find out whether or not we were really in earnest when we gave the promise, to love one another until death should us part. And we pass this test if we support one another in the time of tribulation. Such patience and love are not found where the lips are stubbornly pressed together with the words. "I have to suffer this;" but they are found where one says, "God sends me this affliction, therefore it is good for me." Where true patience is lacking, there discord enters, and discord is poison. But where true patience is found, there the heart is opened, so the husband and wife can kiss away the tears. This patience again is related to hope, for both have the same origin. And yet you can only secure and keep both, if you heed the third injunction of the apostle, "Be instant in prayer."

Prayer, it is often said, is the breath of the soul; and I would add, united prayer is the best and deepest fountain of strength in married life. You can learn to rejoice in hope, to be patient in tribulation only, if you learn to be instant in prayer, thanking the Lord for the blessings of the past, invoking His benedictions for the future.

Adopt daily devotions as the rule and habit of every-day life. Open and close each day with prayer. Do not forget in your daily life the words of the catechism: That we should acknowledge and receive our daily bread with thanksgiving. Today you stand before the altar of the Lord, and thereby you declare that as Christians you cannot live without the blessing of the Almighty. But this brief ceremony is not all. Day after day you must seek the blessing of the Almighty, and this can be done only through prayer. I know well that prayer can become a habit, and thus consist merely of words. But Christ gives us a good remedy against this when He says, "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut the door, pray to thy father who is in secret." When one is not seen or heard by any human being, one is safest against mere form or habit. Therefore, in the name of our God and Saviour, I implore you, make the closet for prayer the hallowed temple of your home. You will soon discover what a blessing for your married life is found in prayer.

Thus, then, my friends, if you desire to spend a happy married life, follow the words of the apostle, " Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer." Amen.

IV

For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. — Psalm 84, 11.

You have come to the temple of the Lord to invoke the blessing of the Almighty upon you at the important step which you are about to take. Let us then hear and consider a brief word of Scripture: "For the Lord God is a sun and shield." These are two beautiful pictures which the psalmist applies to God. He calls Him a Sun and a Shield.

I. For the Lord is a sun. You can scarcely find a more beautiful or appropriate name for the living God, if you endeavor to apply human pictures and names to the Almighty. As the sun is the powerful center of the planetary system, about which all the planets circle, held in their course by the miraculous power of gravitation, so God is the Lord of all worlds, the center of all life. He keeps everything in its course, around Him everything circles. He ought to be the sun of our lives. He is the center of gravity and the stay of our spiritual activity. He is the center and strength of our lives. May he also be the sun of your home. May He keep your souls in His fellowship and His love. Look up to Him at all times, in good and evil days. He who separates himself from Him. must perish, just as all creatures must die without the life-giving rays of the sun. A home which does not regard God, the sun of righteousness, as its living and life-giving center, is wretched and miserable, even if it should possess all the treasures of the world.

The sun radiates the light which sustains life and scatters the darkness. All plants turn toward this light. Thus the eternal light of the world which radiates from God should shine into your lives. This light is found in God's word. Happy is he who walks and lives in this light, and who opens his heart to its rays. The light of grace scatters the darkness of the world which so often surrounds us. This light is a light of joy, of comfort and of peace. Blessed is the home into which it sends its bright and peaceful rays! Suffering and sorrow will often confront you in your married life, but be of good cheer, the eternal light will never lose its radiance.

The sun is also the source of all heat. Without this heat of the sun the earth would be dead and desolate. Thus the Holy Spirit who proceeds from God, the Sun of Life, should warm us with holy love. Without this love the home is desolate. But where hearts glow with true love, there blessings and joy abide, there matrimony is a source of pure happiness. It is the Lord who gives us the abundance of His divine love, true, lasting, holy love, which gladly forgets and forgives, which does good to others, which suffers long, is kind, and endureth all things. May the eternal sun of grace at all times warm and fill your home, so that you may bless the hour in which you were united, and that the holy estate of matrimony may become for you an institution sanctified by God.

The sun, because it gives light and heat, is also the dispenser of rich blessings. God placed it in the firmament above us that it should be a source of blessing. Thus, God, the true sun, continually dispenses blessings and grace. "The Lord will withhold no good thing from them that walk uprightly," the psalmist says. Those who look up to Him, who open their hearts to Him, who love and fear Him, experience His grace. May you also experience it abundantly during your married life.

II. The Lord is a shield, the psalmist continues in our text. A shield, this signifies danger and struggle. Often we are confronted by temptations from without and within. In the holy estate of maniage, poverty, sickness and suffering often darkens the sun of grace. You will experience it, as we all have experienced it. But the Lord is our shield. He covers His children with His grace and succors them with His aid. He protects us from the arrows of perdition. He graciously guards us, so that no evil befalls us.

He who wishes to experience this shielding help must always take refuge in Him. He who seeks His countenance in prayer, and trusts in. Him, can at all times rest safely. For this reason David could also say in our Psalm: " O Lord of hosts, blessed is the. man that trusteth in Thee." Therefore, trust in the Lord at all times. Let His w_rd dwell richly in you. Approach Him daily in prayer, for then you also will richh r experience His grace.

To you also the Lord will be a sun and shield. It rests with you whether 01 rot you will experience the truth of these wc^ds. But 1 know of ro better wish for you at this hour, than the words of the psalmist to which ] have invited your attention. May God be your constant companion through life. May He be the sun and shield of your home. Amen.

V

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness — Col. 3, 14.

Amid the pealing of the bells and the joyous notes of the organ, you have presented yourselves before the altar of the Lord. Surrounded by relatives and friends, you have come in bridal airay, while the happy and yet solemn countenances of those whom you love speak of the sincerity and earnestness of the wisnes and prayers which at this time ascend for you to the throne of the Most High. Your hearts are happy. That for which you have longed in the dreams of youth, which seems to be the climax of all joy, is now yours. And only one thing is lacking, namely, that the servant of the Lord bless the union of your hearts.

Years ago, when on the day of your confirmation you promised to be faithful unto the Lord, you knelt at this altar. Today, as then, you look upon the picture of the Crucified One, and realize the solemnity of the hour. And therefore it is only natural that you should ask the question: Lord, will we succeed? Will we be able to make one another happy?

We cannot tell you what the future has in store for you. The happiness of man rests in the hands of God. As the servant of the Lord, I can only direct you into that way in which you may find this happiness. Therefore I call you™ attention to a passage of Holy Scripture: " Above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfectness."

Yon have not been led together by outward considerations, neither because of the wish of your parents, nor fo: the sake of gaining wealth. You lave been drawn together by the love of your hearts, which told you that one could not live without the other. Wc rejoice whenever we behold a case of true love amid the materialistic trend of our times. You valued this love above all, and through this love you have overcome all obstacles. Lovingly now the bride clings to the husband of her choice, and surrenders herself to him with all she has and is; while the strong man embraces her, and would bear her on his hands so that she touch not the dust of earth.

But the flowers of youth fade. We cannot at all times on our journey through life tread upon roses. Sooner or later will come days of which we will say that we have no pleasure in them. When the storms of life rage, our hopes also are often wrecked. Then peace is supplanted by passion, and passion often destroys all beauty, changing even heaven into hell. Human love is often like a fire of straw, which speedily dies out and leaves nothing but ashes.

Therefore, "Put on love, which is the bond of perfectness" — that is, that kind of love which does not cease, even after beauty and youth have disappeared; which is not extinguished when the storms of life rage all around, but which rather is kindled by the winds until its flames mount to heaven, there again to find nourishment. The bond of perfectness which does not break, but unites two human hearts so that they cannot ever again be separated, is the love of Christ. Be one in Him who has loved you unto death. Live in His love, and nothing will ever be able to harm you. In Him you may suffer and die, and yet you will be happy, for in Him you will be united through all eternitv. Amen.

And now, Lord, thou art God, and hast promised this goodness unto thy servant:

Now therefore let it please thee to bless the house of thy servant, that it may be before thee for ever: for thou blessest, O Lord, and it shall be blessed for ever. — 1 Chronicles 2 7, 26-27.

You have come to the temple of the Lord, dearly beloved, that the church may assure you of the blessing of the Almighty foi the journey the beginning of which is marked by this day. And this blessing shall not be wanting. It shall be bestowed upon you in the name of the Triune God, of whom, and through whom, and to whom are all things. He who has instituted matrimony and hallowed it as a picture of His union with the church, will come to you with His blessing, through the word of Holy Scripture which the Evangelical Lutheran church, through her servant, will address to you. But before I lift up my hands to bless you, let me briefly explain to you the significance of the blessing which you desire. I shall do this by basing my remarks upon the last words of the prayer of King David, which he uttered after he had received the promise of Jehovah, that the Lord would build him a house. "And now, Lord, Thou art God, and hast promised this goodness unto Thy servant: Now, therefore, let it please Thee to bless the house of Thy servant, that it may be before thee forever; for Thou blessest, Lord, and it shall be blessed forever."—/ Chron. 17:26-27.

You have begun today to build a home. Ah, how difficult this task often is. For all human ability, all worldly advantages, give us by no means the assurance that we shall succeed. " Except the Lord built the house, they labor in vain that build it." Blessed is he who knows and acknowledges this fact, for to him the Lord will give the promise which He once gave to King David: "The Lord will build thee an house." The blessing of the Lord is the only firm foundation for a newly established home. Without His blessing the home is built upon sand, even though outwardly it shines with beauty. With Him, the poorest hut is a strong palace which none can destroy and which the floods can never overthrow, for "God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved, God shall help her and that right early."

This is the blessing which the Lord offers to you. Acknowledge it with grateful hearts. David had reached the climax of his life, when he received the blessing of the Lord, and answered it with the prayer: "And now, Lord, Thou art God, and hast promised this goodness unto Thy servant." This is the faith upon which he stands, this the knowledge from which he proceeds: God is the source of all blessings, as for the past; so also for the future. You also, beloved, have reached the climax of your lives. And from the high vantage ground of this day you should look backward into the past, and also forward into the future. And as you reflect upon the past, may this be the prayer of your souls: "And now, Lord, Thou art God." I do not know your past life well enough to be able to tell you of particular blessings which you have received from the Lord. But even without this knowledge, my dear friends, I can suggest this confession of faith to you. As you consider your position in life, as you look upon parents, brothers and sisters, who surround you full of joy on this day, I can ask you in the name of the Lord of Hosts, who has always blessed His children, to join with David in this confession: "And now, Lord, Thou art God, and hast promised this goodness unto Thy servant." And is not this at the same time the prayer of your soul also as you look forward into the future? After all, the best dower, the most precious wedding gift for the Christian, are the promises of God, who does not promise things only to. break His promise the next moment, but whose covenants and grace endure for ever and ever. If they are your portion, then, dearly beloved, you will be able securely to tread the path before you — a path which you have entered, it is true, according to your own counsel and will, but according to the counsel and will also of the Almighty. Then you will be able to walk safely upon the highest heights of joy, but not less securely in the dark valley, in which the Lord alone is staff and rod. May this knowledge be a light on the pathway which you together intend to follow. Let it never be extinguished by the many idols of home and heart which Christians so often worship. Neither human strength nor skill, nor wealth, pleasure, nor honor, but God in the heart and in the home — this is the source of all joy and happiness in the world.

And therefore, dear friends, we admonish you also in this hour to continue full of confidence: u Now, therefore, let it please Thee to bless the house of Thy servant, that it may be before Thee forever." Let it please thee — and yet David had reached the highest heights of happiness. How, then, can he utter a prayer like this? Let it please Thee — and yet he is only dust and ashes. How, then, does he dare to approach the Lord with these words? I imagine that David had just such thoughts as move your souls at this hour. He realized that he was entering upon a new period of his life, and he desired that the Almighty should be the beginning and the end of this new epoch. And while he knew that he was only dust and ashes, he knew also that he was a child of God, and was privileged to come to God in prayer. He knew that if he asked, it would be given unto him; if he sought he would find; if he knocked, the treasuries of divine blessings, temporal and spiritual, would be opened unto him. And now, dearly beloved, let this be your prayer also. A home may possess all conveniences; it may be furnished with all the luxuries of life. But if no altar for prayer has been set up in it, it is after all but a poor home, and its inmates are not to be envied. May your home never become poor in this respect. I will presently pronounce upon you the blessing of the Triune God. Therefore commence now to pray, "Let it please thee, Lord, to bless the house of Thy servant," so that He may become the foundation of your home, that he may abide in your home forever. The storms will blow, the waters of tribulation will rage in your life also, but if the Lord is the rock upon which your home has been erected, it will not fall, but stand securely.

It is not our intention to frighten you, but we would that your hearts be firmly established. How great and wonderfu' a possession is the blessing of the Almighty. They who possess it know how different it is from the blessing which the world bestows. They who do not strive to obtain it, can not understand its greatness, for it is a free gift of the Lord, and in regard to this gift it is often true: " Wonderful are Thy judgments, and Thy ways past finding out." And yet, "His thoughts are always higher than our thoughts; His ways higher than our ways." He means yea and amen, even though He seems to deny us our desires. He sends blessings, even when He seems to take from us that which we love, and sends us sorrow in its place. In many cases He has placed His richest blessings within a shell so hard and bitter that it takes all our faith to find the sweet kernel. Do not forget this, my friends. I am not a prophet, and much less the messenger of misfortune, desiring to mar your happiness even for a moment. But I regard it as my duty to call your attention to the fact that during your married life you will often be called upon to bear the cross. The Lord himself could not enter into union with His church, without taking upon Himself the cross, nor will your souls be kept and strengthened in union with the Lord, without the cross. Should the days come, therefore, in which the Lord will lead you through the deepest depths of sorrow, do not forget that "all things work together for good to them that love God." "For Thou blessest, Lord, and it shall be blessed forever." Let me conclude with a picture taken from Holy Scripture. By the brook Jabbok you may behold a man whom the Lord has so richly blessed with worldly goods that he himself is compelled to acknowledge, "I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth which Thou hast showed unto Thy servant." There he wrestles with a man until the dawn of day. Now then, my friends, whatever thoughts may move your soul in this hour, let all your desires, wishes and hopes be contained in the prayer of this man, Jacob-Israel: "I will not let thee go, except thou bless me," for "Thou blessest, Lord, and it shall be blessed forever." Amen.