How to deal with doubts and doubters; actual experiences with troubled souls

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Contents

i

Considering Doubts Rather Than

Beliefs 3

II Seefttng Melp Unsf&e of Self, not ©utsf&e

It really is strange how many seek relief from their doubts, and help in their mental and spiritual unrest, by looking within instead of looking without. It would seem as if some actually expected to find a Saviour, or at all events to find evidences of their salvation, by an examination of their inner state of mind and being, and in the play of their personal feelings. This foolish custom was far more common a century ago than it is to-day; yet there are still many who do themselves harm, while they get absolutely no good, by indulging in this pernicious and unscriptural endeavor.

In my own case, I suffered much by such hopeless and injurious efforts to gain some evidence from my emotions or my con-

ii tflow to Steal witb Doubts

scious course of conduct, that I was truly a child of God, and might trust as such. The more I studied myself, the more I was dissatisfied with myself. Again and again I heard it said, or I read the statement in books of religious counsel, that the way to be rid of doubts about one's spiritual condition was to be actively at work for Christ. Yet I knew that that was no prescription for my case. I was engaged in specific Christian work seven days in the week, and the more I did of such work the less spiritual comfort I had. I was a constant sufferer in my habit of searching my inmost being for evidences of my Christian fidelity that were not to be found there.

Some told me that I should carefully examine myself, and decide what I would do in a test case, as showing whether I was a child of God, or one of God's enemies. This experiment I tried again and again, but I had to admit to myself that I was really seeking personal comfort or gain in this effort, and not putting God's glory

Seefttns Welp Insi&e of Self, not ©utsiDe

foremost, regardless of my feelings or interest. I really gained nothing, while I lost strength and rest and peace, in my desire to find a hope of salvation within myself. As the years passed on in this mistaken and useless search, I had less and less enjoyment in Christian activities, in which I still persevered, and I suffered more and more keenly in my self-reproaches because of my lack of hope and of spiritual repose.

This was after years of Christian work in my army chaplaincy and in my Sunday-school missionary work. In a sense, the more I did the worse I felt My exhaustion in and through my well-doing incapacitated me for calm and sensible self-examination. Often, after several services on the Lord's Day, I have actually agonized for hours on my room floor, vainly seeking spiritual rest by means of internal evidence that I was a child of God.

One day I said despondently to a mature Christian believer, whom I had known from boyhood :

Mow to Deal witb S>oubts

"I wish I could have some rest in my Christian faith."

" Why shouldn't you have ? You know that you are a Christian, and that Christ takes care of you all the time, and for all time," said my friend.

" No, I don't know that I am a Christian," I replied, " and that's the trouble."

" You know that you want to be a Christian, and that if the choice were left to you, and you understood it, you'd decide for Christ's service."

" No, I can't say that I do know that," I replied, despondently.

My friend, seeing my real condition, caught hold of me, and said sharply :

" Stop that analyzing of your insides, and look up. Turn away from yourself, and look at your Saviour."

That blunt putting of the truth was a turning-point in my mind and in my spiritual life. I had long enough sought help inside without gaining it. Now I looked up where it could be found, and my being

Seeking IKelp tneibe of Self, not ©utet&e

was at rest. From that day on to the present I could never be induced to examine myself for evidences of salvation. I have looked up for help, and I have urged others to do likewise.

One day there came to me a student, brought up under Christian influences, and said to me :

" I am troubled all the time because I can't be sure that I'm a Christian."

Perceiving his condition of mind, I responded :

" Why should you be a Christian ? "

" Why should I be a Christian ? I don't know what you mean by such a question."

" Is there any command in the Bible for you to be a Christian ? I don't remember any such. Is there any promise of salvation to Christians ? Are you sure that you could be saved if you were a Christian ? "

" You bewilder me," said the doubter.

" I want you, my friend, to look squarely at the important matter you came here to

IHow to 5>eal witb Doubts

talk about. Whom did Jesus Christ come into this world to save ? "

" Sinners."

" Kx^ you a sinner ? "

" Yes," came out heartily, " I've no doubt about that."

"You are not deceiving yourself now with a false hope, my friend ? "

" I think not," and a feeble smile played over the doubter's face. " I think I can feel sure on that point, whatever other doubt I have."

" Well, now, my friend, you see for yourself how the case stands. Jesus Christ came into this world to save sinners. You are one of that sort ; Pm another. You say that you can't satisfy yourself that you are a Christian. I was in the same fix for years. But you do know that you are a sinner. / also felt sure on that point. So I came as a sinner to trust Christ as a Saviour. I advise you to do the same, leaving out of mind for a century or so the matter of being sure of being a Christian. Let us trust

Seeking Help InslDe of Self, not ©utstDe

the Saviour of sinners as our Saviour, and let us find joy in working for him."

And another troubled doubter became a cheerful, trustful, saved sinner, by being helped to look outside of himself, instead of inside. He was for years active in leading others, in the home field and in the foreign field, to trust the Saviour of sinners as their Saviour.

Christ is above us ; let us look to him. That is the direction in which to look, in order to get rest and peace. It is so for those who are troubled with doubts. It is so for those who are ready to trust. This is a thought for all who would give help to such doubters, and who would lead to rest and peace troubled and anxious souls.

It is so with all who are looking within for evidences of their acceptance with Christ. Christ, not the sinner, is the evidence. One who has once learned this lesson is not willing again to leave the sure reality for any fancied substitute. One who was mistakenly trying to induce doubters to be satisfied as to their condition by self-examination told, in my hearing, the following illustration used by Theodore Monod, of Geneva, that the speaker thought might help another.

"You find in your heart evils, defects, imperfections, and you feel that that heart is not worthy of being counted precious by Jesus Christ. But even a diamond, when it is first taken by the lapidary, is often rough and soiled and hidden from sight by foul accumulations; yet it is a diamond, nevertheless. Then the lapidary cleanses and cuts and finishes the rough diamond, and makes it fit to be set in the crown of a sovereign. Thus with your rough and defiled and uncut jewel of a soul. It is a diamond, and it is to shine in the diadem of the King of kings. Be sure of that."

As I had suffered for years in looking inside for evidences of salvation, or of my worthiness, I responded heartily to this illustration :

Seefcins Welp UnstDe of Self, not ©utst&e

" I've all confidence in the Lapidary, but no confidence in the uncut stone, so far as my case is concerned. I never found any rough diamond inside of me. But I am told that, chemically, charcoal and the diamond dust have much in common. Now, when I look inside of myself, I see the charcoal. So I say to the great Lapidary : * I bring you this charcoal, and I trust you to transmute it, by your almighty power, into a diamond. Then, in infinite love, place that diamond in your diadem, and to thee be all the glory/ "

When I said this, a fellow-believer who had been troubled with doubts as to his spiritual condition through his habit of looking inside for grounds of hope, instead of looking above for assurance of a Saviour, seemed touched by this view of the ground of hope, which was fresh to him. Speaking out heartily and with new hope, he said :

" I can find charcoal inside of me every time. There's no lack of that comfort for me."

And he turned his thought from the material to be transmuted to the all-powerful Lapidary. I then realized afresh that the way for a sinner to find hope is by looking up to the Saviour of such sinners as himself. Is there any better way than this to deal with doubts on such a point ?

Ill Jtlot IReafcs to Give lap ©ne's TKatU

A friend called on me one day, desiring to secure my aid in reaching spiritually a man whose condition seemed sadly involved, if not, indeed, desperate. The man in behalf of whom counsel and help were sought had been prominent and efficient in a large and prosperous business enterprise ; but he had, by failing health, been for some time confined to his home. While thus shut in, his business, of which he was chief manager, had become hopelessly involved, and bankruptcy stared him in the face. Meantime his physician informed the man's wife, although not communicating the fact to him, that he was not likely to recover from his present illness. In heaviness of heart, she had sent the mutual friend to implore my effort to bring her husband nearer to her Saviour. While upright in character

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and reverent in spirit, the sick man was averse to conversation on the subject of personal religion, and even in his illness had declined to have his wife send for a clergyman.

Although I had well known the man in former years in another place, I had never visited him in his present home, and it would be a delicate matter to make the first visit for the avowed purpose of reaching spiritually one in such trouble. Yet the request was an earnest one, and I could not refuse to respond to it. Imploring God to prepare the way for the interview, and to guide in it, I called at the sick man's house one Sunday afternoon. By God's ordering I could not see him then, as he was asleep when I called. So, seeing his wife, I left an old friend's love for her husband, and came away.

On learning of this call when he awoke, the man regretted his failure to see his old friend, and sent word desiring me to call again. On my second call, I had the ad-

vantage of coming at the sick man's request, and the interview was a natural and free one. The man told of his misfortunes and regrets. As he spoke, I said naturally that he certainly needed in his troubles, and I hoped he could have, his Saviour's sustaining presence. At this he spoke with some bitterness of his hopeless helplessness, and he then indicated his realest source of doubts. He was a man of diminutive appearance, but of intensest energy and enterprise. Unaided, he had fought his way up to success, in spite of many difficulties and obstacles.

" I know what you would say to me," he said. "All I have got to do is to give up my own will, and trust myself to the Saviour to take care of me. ' Give up my will ? * But all there is of me is will. I started life a poor, sick boy, with nothing but will. My will kept me alive. By my will, I worked my way to success. By my will, I built up a great business, and had prosperity and a good home. By my will,

Wow to Deal wftb Doubts

I supported my parents, and helped others to do well. But sickness came, and, while sick, my business broke down, and all I have in the world is likely to be swept away. Everything is gone but my will. And now you ask me to give up that. You don't know what it is you would be counseling. Everything else but my will is gone, and now you ask me to give up that. What would be left of me if that were gone ? "

" But I have not advised you to give up your will," I replied. "You need a stronger will, not an abandonment of all that now remains of you. Your own will, strong as it is, with its present hold, could not keep you from sickness, could not continue success to you in your business. You need more will, not less. Wouldn't a touch of Omnipotence help you, in your present state? I think that if you, with your strong will, will lay hold on One who is all-powerful, and who can do even those things which you confess you are unable

to do even when you long to do them, you will be using your will in the right direction, and will have more will and a better will than ever."

This was to him a new way of looking at will. He who had ever wanted to use his will aright, in response to the question whether he would like me to pray with him that he could lay hold with a strong grip on the All-Sufficient Will, said that he most surely would. And as I kneeled, on that first visit in that sick-chamber, and prayed with and for that sick man, who had no idea of his wasting illness, I was sure that my old friend was finding joy in the thought that his will could, in Christ, keep him through all trial and sorrow, through life and through death, giving him final success in God's way. And from that hour it was apparent that he was grateful that God had chosen this way to lead him to a right understanding of the gain of a strong will properly directed.

The following months, when I went 25

IHow to Deal witb Doubts

every few days to cheer that new believer's heart and to strengthen my own grateful faith by Christian counsel with that glad saint as he was ripening for glory, I found that talk about his will had given place to loving words about his Saviour. Rarely is one to be met who has fuller joy and peace in Christ than had this man who had feared the barrier of his determined will. He had long lived a life of purity in duty-doing in God's service, but he had been mistaught as to what was required of him if he would be one with Christ. He had confounded his determined purpose in whatever he had to do, with wrong self-seeking. When he saw the light, he turned to it, and rejoiced in it. He seemed to have forgotten that he had any troubles.

He spoke only of the bright side of his present or his future. When he realized that he had not long to live, he was ready to see better things in prospect than he had ever ventured to hope for. His grateful and glad-hearted wife found cheer and

Hot IReafcE to ®ive Tap ®ne's "501111

gave him cheer as they communed together of their Saviour's love and constant presence. Each day seemed brighter than any that had gone before. As to his will, he did not have to give it up, but only to lift it up.

Fresh trials came to him as he lay helpless in that invalid-chamber, which proved to be his death-chamber; but he had now strength and faith to bear them all. His aged mother, whom he had for years supported, was stricken with a fatal disease. The knowledge of this was kept from him, lest he should be unable to bear it. But when she was dead, they were compelled to tell him of it. He received the intelligence with joyous faith. He said pleasantly :

" It will not be long before we shall be together again."

It was evident that life with Christ was already more real and precious to him than this earthly life. His will was still unbroken, but it was now wisely directed.

IHow to Deal witb Doubts

And when at last he bade me farewell as he entered peacefully into rest, he seemed glad of the lesson he had freshly learned, that one who wants to do his duty needs not to have less will, or determination, but to have his strongest will, or purpose, rightly directed toward his loving and all-sufficient Saviour. Thus directed, the more will a man has, the better it is for him in God's service.

IV TKHattfng to be <Soo& JEnouob to Join tbe Cburcb

Among the mistaken ideas in the community as to the significance of the act of connecting one's self with a Christian church, is the thought that it indicates that one has made progress in character and well doing, and desires to testify to that fact before his fellows. Underneath this error there is, of course, a mistaken view of the nature and object of the church itself, but how to correct this mistaken view must be decided differently in different cases.

When I had for some time been absent from my old home, I found, on returning to it, that a near neighbor of mine had just connected himself with the church. Glad to learn this fact, I went to that neighbor, and said to him heartily :

" I'm very glad to know that you have 29

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taken the step of connecting yourself with the church, and I want to congratulate you on it"

To my surprise the new communicant said, with a show of modesty, and yet with a somewhat confident air :

"Well, I thought the matter over for some time before taking that step. I know I'm not so good as I might be, but I'm better than the average, so I decided to join the church."

At this I thought it not best to say anything more in the line of congratulation. Nor did I think that the church was to be particularly congratulated on its new member. Later on I found that other men than that neighbor had that standard of fitness for church-membership. Some are modest in their doubting, honestly thinking themselves unworthy to be counted with the Christian host. Others desire to live as well as they can outside of the church fold without being judged by church standards of conduct. Yet others again, like the per-

son instanced, have only a doubt as to their relative goodness, and settle it by themselves in a self-confident mood.

A church-goer, who desired to be right and to do right, when urged to connect himself with the church, expressed the fear that he was not good enough. This seemingly was his sincere feeling. For years he waited outside in the hope that he would grow better. Appeals from his friends for another course were of no avail. Then he was taken seriously ill, and he was brought to face death. As he prayed for recovery, and as he was prayed for, he seemed to have a different view of Christ ; and when he was restored to health, he was glad to think of his Saviour as one to whom he ought to show gratitude. When his pastor urged him to come into the church, as one who desired to evidence his thankfulness and trust, he came forward as a loving, trusting follower of Christ. It were better to come just as he was, he thought, than to wait outside indefinitely to grow better.

Mow to Deal witb 5>oubt6

A man of upright walk in life persistently refrained from connecting himself with the church, claiming that he loved and trusted Christ as his Saviour, and that he would ^how to the world that he was doing this without being a member of any church. At this I said to him :

" Do you expect Christ to save you ? "

"Assuredly I do."

" Yet you persist in refusing to confess Christ before men, as he has particularly enjoined it upon you to do. Is that fair ? Jesus says, ' Every one therefore who shall confess me before men, him will I also confess before my Father who is in heaven.' Yet you say that you are not willing to be with those who confess Christ before men."

" Oh ! I am ready to be known as a lover of Christ, but I don't want to be in the church where men claim to be better than other men. I will try to be as good as they are without saying so."

" You apparently mistake the idea of Christ's church, to begin with," I said.

TKHaiting to be Good JEnougb

"The church is not an exhibition hall, where good men and women show themselves. The church is a hospital where are those who need and want to be saved by Christ. Yet, as I understand you, you are unwilling to be counted as one who needs the hospital or the Great Physician, but you want to stand off outside and prove that you can cure yourself. Is that making an honest show ? "

" I don't want to have it look that way." " I shouldn't think you would." So another man concluded to join the church, not because he thought he was as good as the average, but because he felt he needed hospital treatment as much as the average church-member.

It is important for every person who is in the church to bear in mind this truth as to the nature and mission of the church. It is not as an exhibition hall, but as a hospital, that it calls for members and that members continue in it. No man has made such progress in the Christian life

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that he no longer needs the helps that the church supplies to him. The more progress one makes the more he desires progress. If he feels that he is good enough to be a church-member, he gives evidence that he has no right view of the church of Christ, or of right life in Christ.

TKIlafting for Sometbing Unstoe to "Break"

A barrier to the conscious service of Christ is, with many souls, the fear that a desired and necessary change in their inner being has not taken place. This fear is commonly caused by a sad error on their part, resulting from the wrong preaching and teaching to which they have listened, or from their misreading of the Bible as improperly translated, or as incorrectly understood. But whatever has caused it, the barrier, real or supposed, often exists, and it must be met and wisely dealt with.

As illustrative of a multitude of similar cases, a single instance may be cited out of my sphere of observation. A prominent man in a New England community had been brought up under the best re-

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ligious influences then prevalent in that region. He had from boyhood been accustomed to read the Bible and pray day by day. He was regular in church attendance. He was careful and strict in his morals. But all this was, as he had been taught, of the outer man ; it did not touch or indicate the inner life or spiritual being. He had been taught from the pulpit and by the religious literature of the day, that until he had been converted, or regenerated, he would have no right to count himself an accepted child of God. And for this change, which he had no power to compass, he waited and hoped and prayed.

When he grew up and married he was ready to do anything and everything in his own power to show his readiness and desire to be Christ's, but for the essential change of spiritual nature he felt he must wait God's time and act. He was faithful in personal and household worship. He conducted family prayers regularly. He asked a blessing at his table. He taught

TKHattina for Something Inst&e to " JSteaft t»

a class of young men in the Sunday-school. But he felt he had no right to count himself a converted, a regenerated, a new-born, soul. All that he could do in God's service he was ready to do, but conversion, or regeneration, was God's work. For that he must wait God's time and method. More than half a century passed away, leaving him as it found him so far as this was concerned.

His children, brought up under these influences, were led by their Sunday-school teachers and companions to confess Christ as their Saviour, and they became active as teachers and as church workers. But the good and sad-hearted man remained outside the recognized fold of Christ. This was so to the last of his earthly life. It was doubtless a blessed surprise to him when he was welcomed by his Saviour as one of his loved ones, when his spirit-eyes were opened beyond the veil of flesh. Yet that good man was only one of multitudes who have lived and died in Christ's service

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thinking that they had no right to trust Christ as their Saviour because some mysterious change, which they could neither understand nor secure, had not been wrought in them. What a realm of doubt and of doubters is opened before us by such an illustration !

Years after this, which was my first acquaintance with one of the " outside saints," — kept outside by the barrier of doubt raised by mistaken teaching, — I was brought into close association with another doubter of the sort, who was even more positive, although less intelligent, than the other, on the subject. The son of a godly and strict father, whose views in the line of a certain phase of old-fashioned orthodoxy were pronounced and outspoken as to man's inability of himself to turn to God, was near me socially, and sat near me in church. In him I became much interested, and I sought to lead him to an open confession in Christ's service. But I found that the young doubter was positive as to

his right or power to act until God made him willing and able. In response to the most tender and earnest invitation, he said :

" I wish I could trust Christ as my Saviour, but I know it isn't possible until my heart is changed."

" But have you nothing to do in the matter ? "

" My part is to wait and be ready. I come to church and prayer-meeting regularly. God knows how I feel about it, but until he converts me I cannot be a Christian. I cannot convert myself. So there it is."

That erroneous view was a barrier ot doubt. My words, with my knowledge and experience of them, unfortunately did not move it or him.

In another case, one with whom I prayed was helped to imagine that he had evidence that God helped him over that barrier, and his fancy was suggestive as showing the working of many a man's mind. He was a man who had been a

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soldier in my regiment in the Civil War. After the war, when I was preaching on a Sunday evening in the pulpit of a friend, in Massachusetts, I saw this man before me. At the close of the service the man came up to greet me, and I invited him to go with me to the pastor's house for a talk. He came, and we were soon together in a room by ourselves. After a few words over old experiences, a conversation somewhat like this ensued :

" Have you ever confessed Christ as your Saviour ? "

" No, I have not ; but I wish I could."

"Are you ready to give yourself to Christ with all your heart ? "

" Indeed I am. But I suppose I must be converted."

" God will take care of that, if you will commit yourself to him without keeping anything back."

The man had been a good soldier in war time, and he knew what enlisting meant.

" Are you ready to enlist in Christ's ser- 40

XBfflaftins for Something Ineibe to "SSreaft t> vice here and now, not merely for three years, but for all time?"