The liars; an original comedy in four acts

Front matter

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Act I

Scene : Interior of a large tent on the lawn of Freddie Tat- TON's house in the Thames valley. The roof of the tent slopes up from the back of the stage. An opening at back discovers the lawn, a night scene of a secluded part of the Thames, and the opposite bank beyond. Small opening L. The tent is of Eastern material, splendidly embroidered in rich Eastern colours. The floor is planked and some rugs are laid down. The place is comfortably furnished for summer tea and smoking room. Several little tables, chairs and lounges, most of them of basket-work. On the table spirit-decanters, soda-water bottles, cigars, cigarettes, empty coffee cups, matchbox, etc. Some plants in the corners. Lamps and candles lighted.

Time : After dinner on a summer evening.

Discover Archibald CoKEand ''Freddie " Tatton. Coke, a tall, pompous, precise man, about fifty, is seated at side table smoking. Freddie, a nervous weedy little creature about thirty, with no whiskers, and nearly bald, with a squeaky voice, is walking about.

Freddie. [Very excited, very voluble, very squeaky. ]

It's all very well for folks to say, " Give a woman her head; don't ride her on the curb." But I tell you this, Coke, when a fellow has got a wife like mine, or Jess, it's confoundedly difficult to get her to go at all, without a spill, eh ?

Coke. It is perplexing to know precisely how to handle a wife [drinks, signs'] — very perplexing !

Freddie. Perplexing? It's ad — ee — d silly riddle without any answer! You know I didn't want to have this house-party for the Regatta — [Coke looks at kim.~\ — I beg your pardon. Of course I wanted to have you and Dolly, and I didn't mind Gilbert and Jess. But I didn't want to have Falkner here. He's paying a great deal too much attention to Jess, and Jess doesn't choke him off as she should. Well, I thoroughly made up my mind if Jess came, Falkner shouldn't.

Coke. Yes ?

Freddie. Well, Rosamund said he should. So I stuck out, and she stuck out, in fact we both stuck out for a week. I was determined he shouldn't come.

Coke. Then why did you give in ?

Freddie. I didn't.

Coke. But he's here !

Freddie. Yes ; but only for a few days. Rosamund invited him, unknown to me, and then — well — you see, I was obliged to be civil to the fellow. [ Very confidential. ] I say, Coke — we' re tiled in, aren' t we ? Candidly, what would you do if you had a wife like Rosamund?

Coke. [Sententious ly.~\ Ah! Just so! [Drinks.

act I THE LIARS

Freddie. You're the lucky man of us three, Coke. Coke. I must own my wife has some good points

Freddie. Dolly got good points ! I should think she has !

Coke. But she's terribly thoughtless and frivolous.

Freddie. So much the better. Give me a woman that lets a man call his soul his own. That's all I want, Coke, to call my soul my own. And — [resolutely] some of these days — [very resolutely] I will, that's all !

Enter Mrs. Crespin, a sharp, good-looking woman beiwee?i thirty and thirty-five.

Mrs. C. Is Mr. Gilbert Nepean leaving for Devonshire to-night?

Freddie. Yes. He takes the eleven thirty-four slow and waits for the down fast at Reading.

Mrs. C. To-night?

Freddie. Yes. His steward, Crampton, has been robbing him for years, and now the fellow has bolted with a heap of money and a farmer's wife.

Mrs. C. Mr. Nepean must go to-night?

Freddie. Yes. Why ?

Mrs. C. Lady Jessica and Mr. Falkner have gone for a little moonlight row. I thought Mr. Nepean might like to stay and steer.

Freddie. Oh, Lady Jessica knows the river well.

Mrs. C. Ah, then Mr. Nepean can look after the steward. After all, no husband need emphasize the natural absurdity of his position by playing cox to another man's stroke, need he?

Enter Colonel Sir Christopher Deering, a genial handsome Englishman about thirty-eighty and George Nepean, a dark, rather heavy -looking man about the same age.

Sir C. Oh, nonsense, Nepean; you're mistaken!

George. You'd better say a word to Falkner

Sir C. [With a warning look.'] Shush !

George. If you don't, I shall drop a very strong hint to my brother.

Sir C. [More peremptorily.] Shush, shush !

Freddie. What's the matter?

Sir C. Nothing, Freddie, nothing ! Our friend here [trying to link his arm in George's — George stands off] is a little old-fashioned. He doesn't understand that in all really innocent flirtations ladies allow themselves a very large latitude indeed. In fact, from my very modest experience with the sex — take it for what it's worth — I should say the more innocent the flirtation, the larger the latitude the lady allows herself, eh, Mrs. Crespin ?

Mrs. C. Oh, we are all latitudinarians at heart.

Sir C. Yes ; but a lady who practises extensively as a latitudinarian rarely becomes a — a — a longitudinarian, eh?

Mrs. C. Oh, I wouldn't answer for her ! It's a horrid, wicked world ; and if once a woman allows act I THE LIARS 5

one of you wretches to teach her the moral geography of it, it's ten to one she gets her latitude and longitude mixed before she has had time to look at the map. [Goes up to opening, and looks off.

Freddie. [To Sir Christopher.] I say, I'm awfully sorry about this. You know I told Rosamund how it would be if we had Falkner here

Sir C. [Draws Freddie aside. ~\ Shush ! Tell Lady Rosamund to caution Lady Jessica

Freddie. I will. But Rosamund generally does just the opposite of what I tell her. Don't be surprised, old fellow, if you hear some of these days that I've — well, don't be surprised.

Sir C. At what ?

Freddie. Well, I shall — now, candidly, old fellow — we're tiled in, quite between ourselves — if you found yourself landed as I am, what would you do ?

Sir C. You mean if I found myself married?

Freddie. Yes.

Sir C. I should make the best of it.

[George comes up to them. Mrs. Crespin co7nes from back of tent.

George. [To Sir C.] Then it's understood that you'll give Falkner a hint?

Sir C. My dear fellow, surely your brother is the best judge

George. Of what he doesn't see?

Sir C. He's here.

George. He's leaving for Devonshire to-night — unless I stop him. Will that be necessary ?

Sir C. No. Falkner is my friend. I introduced him to Lady Jessica. If you insist, I'll speak to him. But I'm sure you're wrong. He's the very soul of honour. I didn't live with him out there those three awful years without knowing him.

George. I don't see what your living three years in Africa with him has got to do with it.

Mrs. C. Let's see how it works out. Falkner behaves most gallantly in Africa. Falkner rescues Mrs. Ebernoe. Falkner splendidly avenges Colonel Ebernoe's death, and strikes terror into every slavedealer's heart. Falkner returns to England covered with glory. A grateful nation goes into a panic of admiration, and makes itself slightly ridiculous over Falkner. Falkner is the lion of the season. Therefore we may be quite sure that Falkner won't make love to any pretty woman who comes in his way. It doesn't seem to work out right.

Sir C. But Falkner is not an ordinary man, not even an ordinary hero.

Mrs. C. My dear Sir Christopher, the one cruel fact about heroes is that they are made of flesh and blood ! Oh, if only they were made of waxwork, or Crown Derby ware, or Britannia metal ; but, alas and alas ! they're always made of flesh and blood.

Coke. Where did Falkner come from? What were his people ?

act I THE LIARS 7

Sir C. His grandfather was what Nonconformists call an eminent divine, his father was a rich city merchant; his mother was a farmer's daughter. Falkner himself is a — well, he's a Puritan Don Quixote, mounted on Pegasus.

Mrs. C. Put a Puritan Don Quixote on horseback, and he'll ride to the — Lady Jessica, eh?

Sir C. Hush ! He'll love and he'll ride away.

Mrs. C. [Significantly. ~\ I sincerely hope so.

Coke. I must say that Falkner is less objectionable than Dissenters generally are. I have an unconquerable aversion to Dissenters.

Sir C. Oh, I hate 'em ! But they saved England, hang 'em ! And I'm not sure whether they're not the soundest part of the nation to-day.

Mrs. C. Oh, pray don't tell them so, just as they're getting harmless and sensible — and a little artistic.

[A piano is played very softly and beautifully at a distance of some twenty yards. They all listen.

Mrs. C. Is that Mrs. Ebernoe ?

Sir C. Yes.

Mrs. C. What a beautiful touch she has ?

Sir C. She has a beautiful nature.

Mrs. C. Indeed ! I thought she was a little stiff and unsociable. But perhaps we are too frivolous.

Sir C. Perhaps. And she hasn't quite recovered from poor Ebernoe' s death.

Enter Lady Rosamund and Dolly Coke in evening dress. Dolly is without any wrap on her shoulders.

Mrs. C. But that's nearly two years ago. Is it possible we still have women amongst us who can mourn two years for a man ? It gives me hopes again for my sex.

Freddie. [His back to Lady Rosamund.] I know jolly well Rosamund won't mourn two years for me.

Lady R. [A dear-cut, bright, pretty woman.] You're quite right, Freddie, I shan't. But if you behave very prettily meantime, I promise you a decent six weeks. So be satisfied, and don't make a disturbance down there [with a little gesture pointing down] and create the impression that I wasn't a model wife. [Freddie makes an appealing gesture for sympathy to Sir Christopher.

Coke. [In a very querulous, pedantic tone to Dolly.] No wrap again ! Really, my dear, I do wish you would take more precautions against the night air. If you should take influenza again

Dolly. [A pretty, empty-headed little woman.] Oh, my dear Archie, if I do, it is I who will have to cough and sneeze !

Coke. Yes ; but it is I who will be compelled to listen to you. I do wish you would remember how very inconvenient it is for me when you have influenza.

act i THE LIARS 9

Dolly. My dear, you can't expect me to remember all the things that are inconvenient to you. Besides, other people don't wrap up. Jessica is out on the river with absolutely nothing on her shoulders.

Mrs. C. Is it not a physiological fact that when our hearts reach a certain temperature our shoulders may be, and often are, safely left bare ?

[George Nepean has been listening. He suddenly rises, comes some steps towards them as if about to speak, stops, then turns and exit with great determination.

Sir C. Mrs. Crespin, you saw that?

Mrs. C. Yes. Where has he gone ?

Sir C. I suppose to tell his brother his suspicions. I'm sure you meant nothing just now, but — [glancing round~\ — we are all friends of Lady Jessica's, aren't we?

Mrs. C. Oh, certainly. But don't you think you ought to get Mr. Falkner away?

Sir C. He'll be leaving England soon. These fresh outbreaks amongst the slave-traders will give us no end of trouble, and the Government will have to send Falkner out. Meantime

Mrs. C. Meantime, doesn't Mrs. Ebernoe play divinely ? [ Going off.

Sir C. [Politely intercepting her.~\ Meantime it's understood that nothing more is to be said of this?

io THE LIARS act i

Mrs. C. Oh, my dear Sir Christopher, what more can be said? [Exit.

Sir C. [Holds the tent curtaiiis aside for her to pass out ; looks after her, shakes his head, perplexed, then turns to Coke.] Coke, what do you say, a hundred up ?

Coke. \_Rising.~] I'm agreeable ! Dolly ! Dolly ! [Lady Rosamund, Dolly and Freddie are chattering very vigorously together. Dolly. [Doesri t turn round to him.~] Well?

[Goes on chattering to Lady Rosamund and Freddie.

Coke. You had a tiresome hacking cough, dear, during the greater portion of last night.

Dolly. Did I ? [Same business.

Coke. It would be wise to keep away from the river.

Dolly. Oh, very well, dear. I'll try and remember. [Same business.

Coke. [Turns, annoyed, to Sir Christopher.] I'm a painfully light sleeper. The least thing disturbs me, and — [Looks anxiously at Dolly who is still chattering, then turns to Coke.] Do you sleep well?

[Links his arm in Coke's.] Like a top. Never missed a night's rest in my life.

[ Takes Coke off at opening.

Freddie. [ Has been talking angrily to Lady Rosamund.] Very well then, what am I to do ?

act I THE LIARS n

Dolly. Oh, do go and get a whisky and soda, there's a dear Freddie !

Freddie. That's all very well, but if Jessica goes and makes a fool of herself in my house, people will say it was my fault.

Lady R. What — example or influence, or sheer desperate imitation ?

Freddie. \_Pulls himself up, looks very satirical, evidently tries to think of some crushing reply without ■ success. ] I must say, Rosamund, that your continued chaff of me and everything that I do is in execrable taste. For a woman to chaff her husband on all occasions is — well it's very bad taste, that's all I can say about it ! [Exit at back.

Dolly. Freddie's getting a dreadful fidget. He's nearly as bad as Archie.

Lady R. Oh, my dear, he's ten times worse. One can't help feeling some small respect for Archie.

Dolly. Oh, do you think so ? Well, yes, I suppose Archie is honourable and all that.

Lady R. Oh, all men are honourable. They get kicked out if they aren't. My Freddie's honourable in his poor little way.

Dolly. Oh, don't run Freddie down. I rather like Freddie.

Lady R. Oh, if you had to live with him

Dolly. Well, he always lets you have your own way.

Lady R. I wish he wouldn't. I really believe I should love and respect him a little if he were to take me and give me a good shaking, or do something to make me feel that he's my master. But [.«£■/«■] he never will ! He'll only go on asking everybody's advice how to manage me — and never find out. As if it were't the easiest thing in the world to manage a woman — if men only knew.

Dolly. Oh, do you think so ? I wonder if poor old Archie knows how to manage me !

Lady R. Archie's rather trying at times.

Dolly. Oh, he is ! He's so frumpish and particular, and he's getting worse.

Lady R. Oh, my dear, they do as they grow older.

Dolly. Still, after all, Freddie and Archie aren't quite so awful as Gilbert.

Lady R. Oh, Gilbert's a terror. I hope Jessica

won't do anything foolish

[A very merry peal of laughter heard off, followed by Lady Jessica's voice.

Lady J. [Heard off.'] Oh, no, no, no, no, no !

Please keep away from my dress! Oh, I'm so

sorry ! {Laughing a little, .] But you are — so — so —

{Another peal of laughter.

" Falkner. [Heard off, a deep, rich, sincere,

manly tone.] So ridiculous? I don't mind that!

Lady J. {Heard off.] But you'll take cold. Do go and change !

Falkner. {Heard off.] Change? That's not possible !

act i THE LIARS 13

[Lady Jessica appears at opening at back, looking off, smothering her laughter. She is a very bright, pretty woman about twenty-seven, very dainty and charming. Piano ceases.

Lady J. Oh, the poor dear, foolish fellow ! Look!

Lady R. What is it ?

Lady J. My ten-and-sixpenny brooch ! He kept on begging for some little souvenir, so I took this off. That quite unhinged him. I saw he was going to be demonstrative, so I dropped the brooch in the river and made a terrible fuss. He jumped in, poor dear, and fished it up. It was so muddy at the bottom ! He came up looking like a fin-de-siecle Neptune — or a forsaken merman — or the draggled figurehead of a penny Thames steamboat.

Lady R. [Very seriously.'] Jess, the men are talking about you.

Lady J. [ Very carelessly.] Ah, are they ? Who is ?

Lady R. My Freddie says that you

Lady J . \Interruping on * ' says. ' ' ] My dear Rosy, I don't mind what your Freddie says any more than you do.

Lady R. But George has been fizzing up all the evening.

Lady J. Oh, let him fizz down again.

Lady R. But I believe he has gone to give Gilbert a hint i 4 THE LIARS act i

Lady J. [Showing annoyance.] Ah, that's mean of George ! How vexing ! Perhaps Gilbert will stay now.

Lady R. Perhaps it's as well that Gilbert should stay.

Lady J. What? My dear Rosy, you know I'm the very best of wives, but it does get a little monotonous to spend all one's time in the company of a man who doesn't understand a joke — not even when it's explained to him !

Lady R. Jess, you really must pull up.

Dolly. Yes, Jess. Mrs. Crespin was making some very cattish remarks about you and Mr. Falkner.

Lady J, Was she ? Rosy, why do you have that woman here ?

Lady R. I don't know. One must have somebody. I thought you and she were very good friends.

Lady J. Oh, we're the best of friends, only we hate each other like poison.

Lady R. I don't like her. But she says such stinging things about my Freddie, and makes him so wild.

Lady J. Does she? I'll ask her down for the shooting. Oh ! I've got a splendid idea !

Lady R. What is it ?

Lady J. A new career for poor gentlewomen. You found a school and carefully train them in all the best traditions of the gentle art of husband-baitact i THE LIARS 15

ing. Then you invite one of them to your house, pay her, of course, a handsome salary, and she assists you in "the daily round, the common task" of making your husband's life a perfect misery to him. After a month or so she is played out and retires to another sphere, and you call in a new — ladyhelp !

Lady R. Oh, I don't think I should care to have my Freddie systematically henpecked by another woman.

Lady J. No ; especially as you do it so well yourself. Besides, your Freddie is such a poor little pocket-edition of a man — I hope you don't mind my saying so

Lady R. On, not at all. He's your own brotherin-law.

Lady J. Yes ; and you may say what you like about Gilbert.

Dolly. Oh, we do, don't we, Rosy?

Lady J. Do you? Well, what do you say?

Dolly. Oh, it wouldn't be fair to tell, would it,

Rosy ? But Mrs. Crespin said yesterday

[Lady Rosamund glances at Dolly and stops her.

Lady J. About Gilbert ?

Dolly. Yes.

Lady J. Well, what did she say ?

[Dolly glances at Lady Rosamund inquiringly.

i6 THE LIARS act i

Lady R. No, Dolly, no !

Lady J. Yes, Dolly ! Do tell me.

Lady R. No, no !

Lady J. I don't care what she said, so long as she didn't say that he could understand a joke. That would be shamefully untrue. I've lived with him for five years, and I'm sure he can't. But what did Mrs. Crespin say, Rosy?

Lady R. No, it really was a little too bad. Dolly. Yes. I don't much mind what anybody says about Archie, but if Mrs. Crespin had said about

him what she said about Gilbert

Lady J. But what did she say ? Rosy, if you don't tell me, I won't tell you all the dreadful things I hear about your Freddie. Oh, do tell me ! There's a dear !

Lady R. Well she said [Begins laughing.

[Dolly begins laughing.

Lady J. Oh, go on ! go on ! go on ! Lady R. She said — no, I'll whisper !

[Lady Jessica inclines her ear, Lady Rosamund whispers ; Dolly laughs.

Lady J. About Gilbert? [Beginning to laugh. Lady R. Yes. [Laughing.

[They all join in a burst of laughter which grows louder and louder. At its height enter Gilbert Nepean. He is a man rather over forty, much the same build as his brother George ; rather stout, heavy act I THE LIARS 17

figure, dark complexion ; strong, immobile, uninteresting featu?-es ; large, coarse hands ; a habit of biting his nails. He is dressed in tweeds, long light ulster and travelling cap, which he does not remove. As he enters, the laughter which has been very boisterous, suddenly ceases. He goes up to table without taking any notice of the ladies; very deliberately takes out cigar from case, strikes a match which does not ignite, throws it down with an angry gesture and exclamation ; strikes another which also does not ignite; throws it down with a still angrier gesture and exclamation. Thet hird match ignites, and he deliberately lights his cigar. Mean - time, as soon as he has reached table, Lady Jessica, who stands behi?id him, exchanges glances with Dolly and Lady Rosamund, and makes a little face behind his back. Dolly winks at Lady Jessica, who responds by pulling a mock long face. Dolly steals off. Lady Rosamund shrugs her shoulders at Lady Jessica, who pulls her face still longer. Lady Rosamund steals quietly off after Dolly. Gilbert is still busy with his cigar. Lady Jessica does a little expressive pantomime behind his back.

Gilbert. What's all this tomfoolery with Falkner ?

Lady J. Tomfoolery ?

Gilbert. George says you are carrying on some tomfoolery with Falkner.

Lady J. Ah ! that's very sweet and elegant of George. But I never carry on any tomfoolery with anyone — because I'm not a tomfool, therefore I can't.

Gilbert. I wish for once in your life you'd give me a plain answer to a plain question.

Lady J. Oh, I did once. You shouldn't remind me of that. But I never bear malice. Ask me another, such as — if a herring and a half cost three ha'pence, how long will it take one's husband to learn politeness enough to remove his cap in his wife's presence?

Gilbert. [Instinctively takes off his cap, then glancing at her attitude, which is one of amused defiance, he puts the cap on again.~] There's a draught here.

Lady J. The lamp doesn't show it. But perhaps you are right to guard a sensitive spot.

Gilbert. I say there's a confounded draught.

Lady J. Oh, don't tell fibs, dear. Because if you do, you'll go — where you may meet me; and then we should have to spend such a very long time together.

Gilbert. [Nonplussed, bites his nails a ?noment or two ; takes out his watch. ~\ I've no time to waste.

act I THE LIARS 19

I must be down in Devonshire to-morrow to go into this business of Crampton's. But before I go, I mean to know the truth of this nonsense between you and Falkner.

Lady J. Ah !

Gilbert. Shall I get it from you — or from him?

Lady J. Wouldn't it be better to get it from me ? Because he mightn't tell you all?

Gilbert. All? Then there is something to know ?

Lady J. Heaps. And if you'll have the ordinary politeness to take off that very ugly cap I'll be very sweet and obedient and tell you all.

Gilbert. Go on !

Lady J. Not while the cap sits there !

[Pointing to his head.

Gilbert. I tell you I feel the draught.

[Lady Jessica rises, goes to the tent openings, carefully draws the curtains. He watches her, sulkily biting his nails.

Lady J. There ! now you may safely venture to uncover the sensitive spot.

Gilbert. \_Firmly.~\ No.

Lady J. [Serenely seated. ~\ Very well, my dear. Then I shan't open my lips.

Gilbert. You won't?

Lady J. No; and I'm sure it's far more important for you to know what is going on between Mr. Falkner and me than to have that horrid thing sticking on your head.

Gilbert. [Takes a turn or two, bites his nails, at lejigth sulkily flings the cap on the table, .] Now !

Lady J. Mr. Falkner is very deeply attached to me, I believe.

Gilbert. He has told you so ?

Lady J. No.

Gilbert. No ?

Lady J. No; but that's only because I keep on stopping him.

Gilbert. You keep on stopping him ?

Lady J. Yes ; it's so much pleasanter to have him dangling for a little while, and then

Gilbert. Then what?

Lady J. Well, it is pleasant to be admired.

Gilbert. And you accept his admiration ?

Lady J. Of course I do. Why shouldn't I? If Mr. Falkner admires me, isn't that the greatest compliment he can pay to your taste? And if he spares you the drudgery of being polite to me, flattering me, complimenting me, and paying me the hundred delicate little attentions that win a woman's heart, I'm sure you ought to be very much obliged to him for taking all that trouble off your hands.

Gilbert. [Furious.^ Now understand me. This nonsense has gone far enough. I forbid you to have anything further to say to the man.

Lady J. Ah, you forbid me !

Gilbert. I forbid you. And, understand, if you do act i THE LIARS 21

Lady J. Ah, take care ! Don't threaten me ! Gilbert. Do you mean to respect my wishes ? Lady J. Of course I shall respect your wishes. I may not obey them, but I will respect them. Gilbert. [Enraged, comes up to her very angrily. ]

Enter George ; Gilbert stops suddenly.

George. The dog-cart's ready, Gilbert. What's the matter?

Gilbert. Nothing. [To Lady Jessica.] You'll please to come on to me at Teignwick to-morrow.

Lady J. Can't. I've promised to go to Barbara, and I must keep my promise, even though it parts me from you.

Enter Servant at back.

Serv. You've only just time to catch the train, sir.

Gilbert. I'm not going.

Serv. Not going, sir?

Gilbert. No. [Exit Servant.

Lady J. [Appeals to George.] Isn't it dear of him to stay here on my account when he knows he ought to be in Devon? Isn't it sweet to think that after five long years one has still that magnetic attraction for one's husband?

Gilbert. No. I'm hanged if I stay on your account. [Goes up to opening, calls out.~\ Hi ! Gadsby ! I'm coming ! [ Comes back to Lady Jessica.] Understand, I expect you at Teignwick to-morrow.

Lady J. Dearest, I shan't come.

Gilbert. I say you shall !

Lady J. "Shall" is not a pretty word for a husband to use.

[Takes up the cap he has thrown down and stands twiddling the tassel.

Gilbert. George, I expect this business of Crampton's will keep me for a week, but I can't tell. Look after everything while I'm away. [Glancing at Lady Jessica. To Lady Jessica.] You won't come to Teignwick?

Lady J. I've promised Barbara. Here's your cap.

Gilbert. Good-bye, George !

[Shakes hands with George, looks at Lady

Jessica, and is then going off at back.

Lady J. Ta ta, dearest ! [Going up to him.

Gilbert. [Turns, comes a step or two to Lady

Jessica, livid with anger ; speaks in her ear. ] You' 11

go just one step too far some day, madam, and if you

do, look out for yourself, for, by Jove ! I won't spare

you !

[Exit. Lady Jessica stands a little frightened, goes up to opening at back, as if to call him back, comes down, takes up an illustrated paper. George stands watching her, smoking.

Lady J. [After a little pause. ,] George, that was very silly of you to tell Gilbert about Mr. Falkner and me.

act i THE LTARS 23

George. I thought you had gone far enough.

Lady J. Oh no, my dear friend. You must allow me to be the best judge of how far

George. How far you can skate over thin ice?

Lady J. The thinner the ice the more delicious the fun, don't you think? Ah, you're like Gilbert. You don't skate — or joke.

George. You heard what Gilbert said?

Lady J. Yes ; that was a hint to you. Won't it be rather a tiresome task for you ?

George. What ?

Lady J. To keep an eye on me, watch that I don't go that one step too far. And not quite a nice thing to do, eh?

George. Oh, I've no intention of watching

you

Enter Falkner at back.

[Looking at the two.~] Not the least intention, I assure you. \_Exit.

Lady J. So to-morrow will break up our pleasant party.

Falkner. \_About forty, strong, fine, clearly-cut features, earnest expression, hair turning gray, complexion pale, and almost gray with continued work, anxiety, and abstinence, .] And after to-morrow?