Woman as she should be

Front matter

WOMAN

SHE SHOULD BE.

I. THE APPROPRIATE SPHERE OF WOMAN. II THE INFLUENCE OF CHRISTIANITY ON WOMAN. Ill THE CHRISTIAN EDUCATION OF WOMAN.

Part II

CHAP. PAGE

I. CAUSES OF FEMALE INFLUENCE 5

II. SUBJECT CONTINUED 15

III. IMPORTANCE OF LETTERS TO WOMAN . • . . 23

IV. IMPORTANCE OF RELIGION TO WOMAN ... 35 V. CHRISTIANITY THE SOURCE OF FEMALE EXCELLENCE 46

VI. SCRIPTURE ILLUSTRATIVE OF FEMALE CHARACTER 64

VII. FEMALE INFLUENCE ON RELIGION ' 78

VIII. FEMALE DEFECTS . 90

IX. SUBJECT CONTINUED 104

X. FEMALE ROMANCE Ill

XL SUBJECT CONTINUED 125

XII. FEMALE EDUCATION 134

XIII. FEMALE DUTIES . 152

THE

APPROPRIATE SPHERE OF WOMAN.

1 TIM. ii. 11, 12. Let the woman learn in silence with nil sub jection; but I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

THE dignity and virtue of the female character can not be too highly estimated nor too sacredly pro tected. It is often and perhaps justly remarked, that as woman was first in transgression, so she is first in obedience ; as she was first to introduce sin, so she is first to expel it. She is undoubtedly to sustain a ^most important part in reclaiming the world. Her influence upon society is great, pecu liar, indispensable to its highest elevation. She is capable of exerting a benign and almost irresistible dominion over the affections and the conduct of the other sex ; but she can do it only by observing her appropriate sphere and putting forth her character istic graces.

The sacred writers have intimated that her consti tutional susceptibility and ardor, so valuable when wisely directed and so evil when misguided, her spirit of impulse and action, her passion for novelty and adventure predominating over cool discretion and cautious judgment, — as seen in the case of the first transgression, — is one essential reason why God re quires that she shall " learn in silence with all sub jection/' and does not " suffer her to teach nor to usurp authority over the man."

But this law of female subjection, implanted in the human constitution and enjoined by God, is> misap prehended, perverted or abused in all but Christian nations. All pagan religions crush the female sex into the dust; Mohammedanism makes them little superior to abject slaves ; and even the Jewish eco nomy is inferior to the Christian in respect to their elevation and influence. It is a distinguishing glory of Christianity that it elevates females to their proper rank and full measure of influence in the best and most finished state of society.

All great practical errors, which obtain ascendency over nations and over successive generations of men, have their foundation in certain truths ; — they are the misapprehension and abuse of principles true to nature. Now Christianity does not come to make war upon nature and to exterminate those principles, but to restore them to our right apprehension and to their true application. This is eminently the case in regard to the appropriate sphere of action and influence for the female sex. Nature had assigned to them a sphere distinct from and subordinate to that of man, though by no means less honorable and important. Paganism had abused this principle of female subordination, so as to abase her, who was made to be " an help-meet " for man, to a condition of invidious inferiority and even of servile abjectness. Look at the condition of females in the Roman empire at the time Christianity was introduced. Christianity removed the hand which pressed them down, and bade them rise to their appropriate sphere. But the reaction from long restraint and depression, the impulse of sudden elevation in their enthusiastic temperaments, soon carried them leyond their proper sphere, and produced a spirit of insubordination. They became radical. They were for levelling all distinctions between the sexes. Overstepping their own boundaries, they began to assume the preroga tives of the other sex.

To correct this alarming evil called for some of the most vigorous and burning strokes of the inspired pen. A tendency to ultraism is not peculiar to our day. Apostles, reformers, holy men of other ages, no sooner inculcated something true and important, than zealots began to push it to those extremes which called for scarcely less effort to keep it in its right place than was required to introduce 'it. If it was tin abuse of nature and a horrible evil that woman should be depressed, scarcely less so was the oppo site extreme, the process of unscxing, by which the peculiar attractions of the female character are sa crificed, and the way thus prepared for the annihi lation of the domestic tics and relations.

Although moral goodness is essentially the same in all, consisting in love to God and man, manifested in action, yet nothing is clearer than that woman was to move in a different sphere from that of man, and her moral virtues are to be modified by and adapted to the sphere in which she was made to move. If modesty and delicacy are becoming in both sexes, they are eminently the ornament of the female sex; while all the moral virtues of either sex, though they bear the same name in each, are to assume the masculine or the feminine character according to the sex in which they exist. The same act which would be modest and delicate in a man would not always be so in a woman ; while, on the other hand, what may be very bold and energetic in a woman, might be very tame in a man. It is on this principle that we are accustomed to say of the man who partakes of the character appropriate to females, that he is effeminate; and also of the woman who partakes of the character appropriate to males, that she is masculine. These terms, we all know, are intended to designate something out of place, something undesirable and unlovely. We tolerate here and there an anomaly of this kind ; but we wish to see such cases " few and far be tween." We should wisely consider the end of all things not far distant should they become universal.

It may be difficult to trace the precise line of demarkation where the masculine character ends and where the feminine begins; but the general distinctions between them, as well as the dangers to which females are exposed in this particular, are abundantly exhibited in the sacred Scriptures. As I wish to be guided by the counsels of divine wisdom in this somewhat delicate yet highly important sub ject, I would proceed to call your attention " to the law and to the testimony." It is my simple aim to expound and apply the lessons of the Bible upon the subject before us.

" Let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak ; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law." 1 Cor. xiii. 34. Here it is declared to be according to the divine law that females should observe silence in the churches, and act in subordi nation to the authority of man. "And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home ; for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." 1 Cor. xiv. 3o.' It is here asserted to be inconsistent with female delicacy and modesty that they should speak in public. No exclusive reference is had to what is sometimes called a "church meet ing." The apostle asserts a general principle for general reasons, as we shall see. There is no' mys tical reason why a woman should not speak in an assembly of the church rather than in any other assembly ; nay, there are some reasons why it would be safer and more proper for her to speak in a meeting of the church than in a promiscuous assem bly. This the apostle implies in a subsequent pas- 2 sage, as we shall show; and if she ought not so much as to ask a question ii a public meeting, but should do even that privately at home, much less ought she to undertake to advance her own opinions, and to dictate instructions and rules to others.

It appears that there were some among the primi tive matrons who, moved by a false zeal, encouraged the younger sisters in defaming and falsely accusing those who did not adopt their views and conform to their wishes ; the tendency of whose conduct was 10 displace sober-mindedness, to alienate wives from their husbands, children, and domestic duties, to promote indelicacy and a fondness of being from home ; insomuch that the pure lustre of Christianity was tarnished and the gospel reproached. Hence the apostle said to a minister of the gospel, " Speak thou the things which become sound doctrine ; that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in patience ; the aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to bo sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedi ent to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Titus ii. 1 — 5. The same apostle animadverts in terms of unqualified rebuke upon those who, meddling with things without their proper sphere, spend their time, as he expresses it, in " wandering about from house to house ; and not only idle, but tattlers also, and busy bodies, speaking things which they ought not." 1 Tim. v. 13.

The duty of wives to be subject to their husbands and to reverence them is inculcated in the following strong language. While instructing husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, instead of treating them as the heathen do theirs, the apostle says, " Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord ; for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church ; and he is the Savior of the body. There fore as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to tluMr own husbands in every thing. Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Eph. v. 22— 24. 33. "But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man." " For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man. For this cause tho wommi ought to Imvn pouvr on her head, because of the angels." 1 Cor. xi. 3, 8—10. That is, she ought to have a covering or veil on her head, in sign that she is under the power of her husband, on account of the irreligious who came to their assemblies as spies or lookers on. Here then is a promiscuous assembly, not an exclusive meeting of the church, and the apostle teaches us that here she must not only be in silence, but must even have on the then customary badge of modesty and subjeo tion.

Such then are inspired views respecting female delicacy and propriety, respecting her becoming defe rence to the other sex, arid her appropriate reverence and homage to her husband. She is even represented as the glory of her husband, as he is the glory of God. " For as much," says the apostle, " as he is the image and the glory of God, but the woman is the glory of the man." How any person of sober mind can read such scriptures and not perceive that they recognise an important distinction between the ap propriate virtues and duties of the sexes, I am una\ ble to perceive. The doctrine is however by some \ confidently sustained and acted on, that all this dis- / tinction is artificial, unchristian, an invidious preju/ dice, and ought to be broken down.

In his epistle to Timothy the apostle gives the following instruction : "In like manner also that women adorn themselves with modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with broidered hair, or with gold, or pearls, or costly array, but, which becometh women professing godliness, with good works. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression." 1 Tim. ii. 9 — 14. Here the inspired writer instructs us that women should clothe themselves with modest appa rel, not with those glaring and gaudy trappings which attract vulgar and wanton eyes, as the heathen women do ; and, further, ihat in public they should always be learners and never teachers, and that they should never assume the position of dictation or of authority over man. As a reason for this, he re minds us that Adam was first formed ; that Eve was then formed, to be his help meet, and not his teacher or goiwncss ; and as a further reason whyx woman should be slow to dictate and ready to leain in all matters of doubtful expediency or questionable right, he reminds us that her characteristic ardor and imprudence, her love of novelty and change, had once betrayed her into tran^gTession — that uAdam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression ;" thus intimating that had she kept her proper place and been guided by the man, instead of attempting to guide him, the great disaster would not have befallen our race. The general idea is clearly maintained, that as man is possessed of a strong desire to gratify the woman, insomuch that he is liable to dethrone his better judgment and to follow her wishes,' even if she leads him astray, as in the case of Adam and Eve, it is imminently dangerous that she, whose predomi nant characteristic is not so much sound and compre hensive judgment as curiosity and romantic impulse, should assume the reins. Thus, if language has any definite meaning, the Bible seems clearly to 2* B teach that man should always sit at the helm, to lead public sentiment and control public movements; while woman was to move in another but not less important or honorable sphere, where she ,was to put forth the peculiar and powerful influences of her personal virtues and acquirements.

The apostle says, " I suffer not a woman to teach," &c. The term teach is the same as that employed by Christ when he said, " Go ye and teach," or disciple, " all nations," &c. This commission was given exclusively to men. Christ had many excel lent female disciples, but to none of them did he extend this commission ; and the apostle reminds some of the primitive sisters of this fact, at a time when they seem to have been inclined to forget it. This remembrancer still speaks, and his message is as important and as binding as ever.

The physical constitution of the sexes plainly indicates that, as a general rule, the more severe manual labors, the toils of the field, the mechanic arts, the cares and burdens of mercantile business, the exposures and perils of absence from home, the duties of the learned professions, devolve upon man ; while the more delicate and retired cares and labors of the household devolve upon woman.

The intellectual and moral constitution of the sexes, as well as the Bible, instructs us that all the affairs of state, both civil and political, all the affairs of the church as respects both government and pub lic teaching, all the enterprises for evangelizing and reforming the world, all the more public, literary and religious institutions, especially those embracing both sexes, should be headed and controlled by man ; while the more modest and retiring, though not less valuable and powerful, influences of her personal character and conversation upon her domestic circle, her neighbors and associates, and through them upon the world, together with the fruits of her intel lect, imparted not in public lectures, but by private instruction, or communicated to the world through the medium of the press, belong to woman.

The appropriate sphere and distinguishing duties of woman are then as follows : — Having qivcn

O O

herself up to God, her first duty is to take care of her own house. Having severely rebuked the con duct of those who, leaving the domestic duties, wander about from house to house, idle, tattlers, busy bodies, speaking things which they ought not, the apostle adds, " I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house ; give no occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Tim. v. 14. Nor let any woman pronounce this an invidious and menial sphere of duty. Let her but consider how much the happiness of society and the progress of the world in all that is good depend upon domestic causes. Let her also know in what admiration she is held by those whose respect is most to be valued, who, on entering her house, behold an abode of neatness, order, cheerfulness, and hospitality ; her children well clad and smiling, her table neatly spread with wholesome provisions, and every thing about her seeming to say, " Here is my happiness ; my husband is my best companion, my children are my jewels ; my house is iny home, and no earthly pleasure excels that of rendering it a domestic paradise — a centre of attraction to my family, so that they are nowhere else so happy ; a place too of welcome and grateful reception to the stranger "^— and she will see that this is necond to no other secular sphere for honor or importance; that she has no occasion to covet the chairs of state or the noisy scenes of public action. She will be satisfled with the inspired description of woman in her true glory, — although" the progress of art has some what changed her occupation, yet the genera) duty is still essentially the same, — " She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor, yea, she rcacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household ; for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makcth herself co verings of tapestry ; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land." Observe the hus band, noi the wife, is seen in the gates, the places of concourse, and is known by his respectable appearance imparted by the domestic virtues of his \vife ; so that all who see him say, "There is the man who has a good wife to take care of him." " She maketh fine linen, and selleth it ; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing ; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She opencth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She lookcth well to the ways of her household, and eatcth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed ; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuous ly, lut tliou cxcdlest them all" Prov. xxxi.

While thus administering neatness, order, comfort and happiness to her household, her hands may also go forth to embrace the poor and the afflicted ; she may, as did the holy women who attended on the ministry of Christ and his apostles, make coats and garments for the destitute, and visit the houses of sorrow and of want with her tender sympathies and benevolent aid. Thus the same passage of scripture which describes the domestic virtues says also, as we have seen, " She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she stretcheth forth her hands to the needy."

But let it not be supposed that her agency is to be restricted to mere temporal affairs. She ought not, like a sister of old, to be " cumbered with much serving," to the neglect of other and higher duties. To " look well to the ways of her household and eat not the bread of idleness," to see that whatever her husband provides tells to advantage in the neat and tasteful apparel, the well-spread table, the com fort and happiness of her family, is of course a duty never to be neglected ; but more, much more than this, remains for her to do. It is hers also to nourish and adorn the young and growing minds ; to cause her instructions to distil upon them as the dew, as the small rain upon the tender herb, and as showers that water the earth ; to bend and direct the infant twig in the way it should grow, that it may shoot erect towards heaven ; to put forth a mother's restraining and elevating influence upon her sons, that they " may be as plants grown up in their youth," and to bestow a mother's peculiar guardian ship and delicate care upon her daughters, that "they may be as corner-stones polished after the similitude of a palace ;" to exert a holy influence upon her husband, and by her sweet and tender sympathies to calm his anxious mind, smooth his ruffled brow, and cheer him on in the path of self-denying duty and of high endeavor ; to diffuse all around her, as she mingles in society, the pure and mighty influences of female piety, always savoring of delicacy, modesty, good sense, intelligence, and transparent benevolence ; and all this, if you please, adorned with a finished culture, sparkling with chastened and refined wit, and attended with what ever may be most attractive and commanding in the peculiar graces and beauties of the female character. These are the noblest virtues of woman ; these are what render her what she was made to be, if wo may credit the Bible, the help that is "meet" or suitable for man — such a help as ho needs. And who will say that they are not as important, as honorable, as elevated, and that they do not invite and give ample scope to as high intellectual and moral cultivation, as the distinguishing duties of men?

How sadly then do they mistake who suppose that the sacrec' writers depress the female sex when they so much restrict their influence to personal, essential, intrinsic elevation and goodness. This is in fact the only true excellence, the most glorious of all power. Even the man who must needs stretch for an office, or covet some public notoriety, to make himself felt in the world, or to secure honor, is but a sorry man ; how much more is she but a sorry woman who must needs resort to these adventitious means of influence or distinction. No : so far from depressing the female sex, it was the wise intent of Providence in this arrangement to elevate her to the highest point of the most excellent worth and influ ence ; to protect her, who was to be the model of all that is lovely in character and the source of the most transforming and benign influence upon the world, from all temptation to seek the more outward and vulgar forms of honor — to shine in the adventitious distinctions of office, to challenge for her fair name a place in the rude ballot-box, or among the candi dates for public office, or in the noisy halls of state ; to covet for herself a share with those who would shine in public exploits. Hers was to be pre-emi nently the intrinsic worth, the essential honor, the pure moral influence of personal excellence; always unaspiring, always modest and delicate, always gen tle and kind, always full of mercy and good fruits ; whose subject is always most loved and admired where most known, and of course always most loved and admired at home, and then by all who know her. Who can tell how great the influence, how wide and lasting the blessing, which the woman of such a character will bequeath to the world, or how radiant the glory with which Christ will adorn her head in the last day ?

But oh how fallen from this high elevation is she when, impatient of her proper sphere, she steps forth to assume the duties of the man, and, impelled by false zeal, with conscience misguided, docs as even man ought not to do — when, forsaking the domestic hearth, her delicate voice is heard from house to house, or in social assemblies, rising in harsh un natural tones of denunciation against civil laws and rulers, against measures involving political and state affairs of which she is nearly as ignorant as the child she left at home in the cradle, against churches and ministers, perhaps her own pastor, and certainly all who dissent from her views ; expecting to reform politics and churches, and to put down every real and supposed evil in them, by the right arm of fe male power, and clamorous for the organization of female societies for this specific object ; not slow 10 anathematize all who do not submit to her dictation, in the stereotype phraseology of certain modern charity, as " time-serving men" and " canting hypo crites;" and withal very sure that the \v,;,M will never go right till women take the lead ! What a sad wreck of female loveliness is she then ! - She can hardly conceive how ridiculous she appears in the eyes of all soher, discreet, judicious Christian men, or how great the reproach she brings upon her sex. Despite of gallantry, her power over the minds of men is then at an end ; she must henceforth " fight as one that bcatcth the air." Men will smile or pity, and let her pass on ; for to expostulate or argue they \vill soon find to be in vain, inasmuch as she is certainly right, has nothing to learn, and is bent only on teaching.

Bur I would treat this subject with great tender ness. Many of those who have fallen into this mis taken and unhappy course were originally moved by good feelings and benevolent motives. But they fell under the influence of bad teachers. Some flaming periodical or plausible and exciting lecturer kindled up a false fire in their too credulous and susceptible but well meaning bosoms. They are misguided. They verily think they are " doing God service." They perhaps even covet to be " persecuted for righteousness' sake," and consider every effort to cor rect their way as this kind of persecution. They very sincerely suppose that they are far in advance of their unenlightened, less philanthropic, or more timid sisters. They are willing to brave public sen timent at all hazards. They have entire confidence 3 in the righteousness and the success of their cause. As to their logic and their arguments, they cannot be resisted; they have already seen sorne strong men " quail under them." They hive' only to go forward with increasing effort — to throw themselves boldly into this Thermopylae The sacrifice is de manded, and they are ready to make it. They un fortunately suppose that the public odium which they encounter^ for stepping out of their appropriate sphere is nothing more nor less than the hostility of sin to the cause of truth and righteousness. Far be it from me to impugn motives so long as any favorable construction remains for them ; and those persons who are actuated by 'such views and motives as these are surely rather to be pitied than reproached. Some will only be spurred on to more desperate steps by whatever may be said to restrain them ; others will see their error, retreat to their appro priate sphere, and recover the character which they had well nigh lost. To some a faithful exposition of the gospel upon this subject, as well as upon all others, will prove a " savor of life unto life ; " to others, of " death unto death." But here, as in all other cases, our hope is mainly to save those who are not far gone and fully committed, and who of course are yet susceptible to instructions from the Bible respecting their duty. So long as they retain the characteristic graces of their sex in lively exer cise, so long as delicacy and modesty and the finer feeling of retiring and unostentatious benevolence have the ascendency over them, if they are well in formed of what is passing, they will be quick to dis cern the meaning and the importance of the inspired lessons upon this subject. Such, in a high degree, God be thanked, is still the character of most of the female sex in our country.

But those females who suppose that no bad in fluences are at work among them, who suppose that no alarming danger threatens them, who suppose that there are as yet none on whom the inspired rebukes upon this subject justly fall, and who of course suppose that such cautions and admonitions as this discourse humbly attempts arc uncalled for, have not diligently observed the " signs of the times." It may be very well. They have been, perhaps, attending exclusively to their own affairs; and the very fact that they do not at once S'?e the importance or the application of these instructions, may be evidence that they themselves do not need them except as preventives. The principle of pre vention, rather than of cure, is the apology for pre senting this subject at the present time. It may not be the duty of every person to watch the signs of the times, but it is certainly the duty of some to do it; and those whom God has set expressly as watch men to his people, and to whom he has said, " Hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me," must not withhold the warning when they see the evil approaching. They must anticipate its arrival. Let the admonitions of the gospel upon this subject