Social activities for men and boys

Contents

Preface vii

Introduction xiii

Bibliography xiv

Preface

Spiritual sociability is a sure success. It is bounded by neither space nor time. In every man, in every place^ in every undertaking, it is splendidly supreme. — W. B. Abbott.

In arranging the material for this book the writer has felt the above so strongly that it has been difficult to tell what to exclude. Everything seems to depend upon the social element.

The educational department of the Young Men's Christian Association is not commonly supposed to be built around sociability. Impressions of concentration, ''grind/' the knitted brow, etc., immediately associate themselves with the educational department or the institute. Yet one of the most successful departments of education in the Young Men's Christian Associations of North America has been developed through the social spirit. Fellowship, comradery, enthusiasm, and downright affection are so intermingled with drudgery that drudgery is swallowed up, obliterated, forgotten. Men and boys are drawn and held. They learn to love the men who teach, and later to love the Christ within the teacher. So everything is, or should be, social.

This book is a collection of suggestions, aimed to make easier the great work of spreading Christ's joy among men. A great many games are contained herein. They are intended absolutely as a means to an end. It should be an established principle Avith all to use these activities to help build character.

Several books have been written on principles of social work. We take pleasure in presenting some thoughts from these writers. The numerous quotations which are found at the tops of the pages throughout the book are intended not only to inspire social spirit, but may be used on programs, menus, or placecards at banquets.

In a little book called ''The Social Element," by the late Edwin F. See, general secretary of the Brooklyn Young Men's Christian Association, the writer lays down the following principal propositions :

viii PREFACE

First, As a sociological fact, we live as socii and not as individuals.

Second, As a religious fact, Christ came to influence and modify these social relationships.

Third, The group spirit is in operation among young men outside and inside the Association, and some of our secretaries are successfully availing themselves of it in the development of Association life.

Fourth, This spirit may be employed in redeeming the Association from the institutionalism which has so largely taken possession of iit, and may lead to a real enjoyment of the Association by the membership.

Fifth, Eating and drinking are necessary social agencies in the work of the Association.

Sixth, The observance of the group principle may lead to further efforts in behalf of workingmen.

Seventh, Some of the most effective religious work may be done in a social environment.

Eighth, The personal work of the Association should be, as far as possible, in the hands of social leaders.

Ninth, Men, noit functions, should be the objective of our social activities. Men should be carried through the Association in adherence to one another, as well as in adherence to lines of work.

Tenth, The secretary may largely multiply his influence by seeking to develop Christian manhood in the leaders of groups within the Association. This should be done on the basis of personal friendship.

That sterling leader of social activity in the Christian Endeavor Society, Amos R. Wells, says in his book that you cannot he social unless you are social to save. That is putting the matter very strongly. It practically says that gatherings of boys and men just for fun are not truly social, no matter how much fun they have, unless underneath the fun there is a rock foundation of character building. Mr. Wells would have every social planned with this in view, and he states very frankly that unless workers are willing to ''forget self, to lose self-consciousness in service y they cannot be social.

The Y. M. C. A. Press has a pamphlet called ''Social Work,'' written by Walter M. Wood, George L. Leonard and George A. Warburton. The following from Mr. Wood's article deals with the need of fellowship of man with man :

PREFACE ix

An aggregation of over-advertised conveniences, shabbily cared for by attendants and sold to men ait half-price under the guise of membership, does not constitute a Young Men's Christian Association ; neither do fine equipment, good maintenance, polite attendants and low cost make, of themselves, an Association true to the spirit of its name.

There should permeate the Association the happy, vigorous, and helpful personality that attracts, stimulates, and inspires. The leadership of the physical director is better than the dumb-bell ; the sympathetic heart-throb of the teacher is better than the lesson ; the cordial greeting of the reception committeeman is better than the most improved doorman or hatrack. A man's body may cry out for conveniences, but his heart cries out for fellowship ; let him have the first, if possible, but do not deny him the latter.

Mr. Wood also deals with the subject of what reception committeemen should be like, and gives some straightforward suggestions as to the equipment of good social committeemen. They should have good manners ; ''the slap on the back, the punch in the ribs, and the promiscuous 'glad hand/ are usually abominations.''

They should also have information. The secretary must see that his committeemen are trained and well informed as to the institution. They should have conveniences for work — desks, correspondence facilities, record blanks, personal cards — tools for service.

Mr. Wood recommends a time schedule, that men may do their share of service. Things committeemen should do :

''Meet men at the door, answer inquiries, introduce men to secretaries and other officers, show men through the building, distribute printed matter, welcome and follow up new members, discover and bring together men of like inclinations, invite men to the building, report concerning each man served, gather criticisms and suggestions and report to the secretary."

Mr, Leonard deals with the "Relation of the Reception Committee to Strangers.'' He says that it should be hospitable, intelligent, helpful, thoughtful, continuous, confidential and full of love :

*T can never forget a scene once witnessed in the reception room of the Twenty-third Street building, New York City. The secretary of the branch had resigned and left the city

X PREFACE

before his successor was appointed. During this time the general secretary of the New York City Association made his headquarters at the Twenty-third Street building, and took up much active work on the floor of the reception room. The first evening after the departure of the former secretary I stood in the room in conversation with Mr. McBurney, when a poor young man entered the door. Mr. McBurney was in an instant across the room, at his side, and had him by the hand before many a man would have started from his place. This love for young men was the secret of his power and influence. This should be our motive whenever we are on duty, and if that motive fully controlled us we would broaden unconsciously the sphere of our work and render some of our best service outside the rooms in greeting strangers on the street, or as opportunity offered, and extending to them the hospitality and helpful asisociation of the rooms."

The theme of Mr. Warburton's plea is that ''Nothing lives to itself. The insects move in swarms, the birds of the air go in flocks, and the beasts of the field fraternize/' Since this is so, and men and boys v^ill gather socially, and too often improperly, as in the saloon, the cheap club, etc., special pains must be used to make features particularly attractive.

In closing Mr. Warburton attempts to sketch an ideal social life, and give a hint or two as to how it may be kept up :

''To begin with, the building must open well. Entering, you are not in a passage-way, but in a room with rather low walls and with a fireplace at one end. The prevailing colors are warm and rich, and there are no signs except a bulletin board. You may not see 'Welcome' on the wall, but your eye reads it in the face and manner of whoever is in charge. The secretary's desk is at one side, and behind it a door leading to the directors' room. There is no bank furniture in sight, and you are glad of that, especially if you have worked late and are trying to balance your accounts downtown. There are plenty of young men standing about who seem to be enjoying themselves, and some of them are actually leaning over the secretary's desk and he does not seem to mind it. In fact, you are not long in finding that he is the center of the social group, for no sooner is your name known than you are taken and introduced to him. His manner is frank and kindly ; the grip of his hand is cordial, but it does not injure your fingers; his conversation is general, and you find that he knows some of your acquaintances, and that the things in which you are interested are not without interest to him. He says nothing about religious subjects, and at this you may be surprised, yet

PREFACE xi

you think of him as a Christian man oftener than as an official of an organization. Passing on, you are shown the parlor, where various games are in use, just as they would be in a well-conducted home. Pictures adorn the walls and everywhere are signs of good taste. The men are not all speaking in whispers as though they were attending a funeral, yet there is an absence of boisterousness. The ceilings are low and the rooms well-lighted. Things look as though they had been made to use. The impression produced by your first step into the place is confirmed as you move about. Everything seems so open. One room opens into another ; fireplaces blaze with a cheerful flame ; the men are like the place, open-faced and open-hearted. 'Ample room and verge enough.' When the time comes you are taken into the entertainment hall to enjoy a concert. The object of the concert is evidently not to make money but to educate and refine the tastes and furnish elevating entertainment. You go out to return as often as you may. You become one of the group who wait to welcome, and the kindly greeting of one night is repeated to thousands.

''The things which hinder sociability are care, pride, conceit, shallowness, hypocrisy, hatred.

"The things which foster and develop it are genuineness, sympathy, tact, conversation, heartiness, deference, faith, hope and, crowning all, love. In social as in religious life 'Love is the fulfilling of the law.' "

We are inclined to agree with Dr. George J. Fisher, in his book on ''The Social Spirit,'' that the Young Men's Christian Association has been merely playing at social work. ''Great advances have been made in the organization and development of the physical, religious and educational departments, but few new principles have been originated with reference to a logical plan of social work, in accordance with which the membership would be really sociable, and the brotherhood spirit would predominate."

The following is suggested as a logical plan to follow in creating a social spirit :

First. The culture of the senses — Taste: "The first laugh was at the sight of a good meal." Smell: Have the buildings well-ventilated, no stufify odors from furniture, locker rooms, etc. Sight: Restful colors, pleasing combinations of color, excellent pictures. "If the eye be light, the whole body is light." Hearing: Ragtime will often produce coarse singing xii PREFACE

and shuffling of feet. A higher type of music will elevate. Cultivate glee, orchestra and mandolin clubs. Think of the power of national airs to thrill the heart. Touch: Wet and damp hands cause repugnance.

Second. The formation of natural groups. Dr. Fisher deals with a great truth when he urges the natural grouping of men and boys to do hard work. The best kind of sociability.

Third. Prayer is social. United prayer brings the promise of His presence. Bands of men grouped for prayer are a great social power.

Fourth. Suggestion. Use the things occurring daily and turn them into sociability. One of the men is to be married. Have a surprise presentation on the gymnasium floor. Have some pranks, laughter and good will. It is talked of for several days and suggests more.

Fifth. The Emotional. Stir the emotions through those forms of social entertainment which make one think of home, of country, and of brotherhood. Variety. Not too long concentration. Remember the small groups that are inevitable. They must not be antagonized, but converted or overwhelmed by a popular sentiment in the opposite direction. Expectation. Make your advertisements positive. ''We are all happy here," is better than /'Don't look grouchy."

It is very evident that sociability is older than the race itself, going back through the ages to the great heart of God Himself. True sociability is born of love, the beginning and the essence of the Creator's plan. "Love never faileth .... seeketh not its own."

It is a law of perfect unselfishness. With this idea caught and retained in the mind, one absolutely forgets self in loving service for his fellows. There is no note of sadness in it, but only one of joy in the privilege of helping in the great plan of bringing about the kingdom of heaven on earth. "Spiritual sociability is a sure success."

This book is prepared as a thesis in connection with special graduate work of the Young Men's Christian Association Training School, Springfield, Mass.