Peck's bad boy with the cowboys

Front matter

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Chapter I

The Bad Boy and His Pa Go West to Hire an Outfit for a Wild West Show— Pa Plans to Be a Dead Ringer for Buffalo Bill and Lets His Hair and Whiskers Grow — Ther' Visit an Indian Village — Pa Agrees to Earn His Spurs by Scalping an Indian and Killing a Grizzly Bear — The Result is Not Satisfactory 13

CHAPTER 11.

The Indian Chief Compels the Bad Boy's Pa to Herd "^Vith the Squaws — He Shows Them How to Make Buckwheat Cakes and is Kept Making Them a Week — He Talks to the Squaws About Women's Rights and They Organize a Strike — The Strike is Put Down and the Indians Prepare to Burn Pa at the Stake 32

X

Chapter III

Pa Subdues the Indians With Phosphorus and an Electric Battery — We Visit a Ranch and Dine With the Cowboys— Pa Tries His Hand at Roping a Steer With Disastrous Results 51

Chapter IV

The Bad Boy, His Pa and a Band of Cowboys Go in Search of a Live Dinosaurus That One of the Boys Said He Had Seen — The Expedition is Captured by a Gang of Train Robbers Who Hold Pa for a Ransom. ... 70

CONTENTS

Chapter V

The Bad Boy and His Pa in Captivity— Held by the Tram Robbers — The Bad Boy's Idea of Bandit Life is Exploded— Pa Tries to Persuade the Head of the Gang to Become a Financier But He Prefers Train Robbery and Puts Up a Good Argument 86

Chapter VI

Pa Plays Surgeon and Earns the Good Will of the Bandits— They Have a Banquet in a Cave — A Loving Cup Episode and Speeches — Pa is Made an Honorary Member of the Band and Pa and the Bad Boy are Allowed to Go Free Without Ransom 102

Chapter VII

Pa and the Bad Boy Stop Over at a Lively Western Town and Pa Bucked a Faro Bank — Pa Buys Mining Stock in a Salted Mine — They Take Part in a Rabbit Drive and Pa Has an Experience 121

CHAPTER VIIL

The Bad Boy and His Pa Visit a Buffalo Ranch and Pa Pays for the Privilege of Killing a Buffalo But Doesn't Accomplish His Purpose, Though Pa Claims He is a Mighty Hunter — He Hires a Herd of Buffaloes for the Show 137

Chapter IX

The Bad Boy and His Pa Return to the Circus to Find They Have Been Quite Forgotten — The Fat Lady and the Bearded Woman Give Pa the Cold Shoulder — Pa Finally Makes Himself Recognized and Attends the last Performance of the Season 154

CONTENTS

Chapter X

The Bad Boy Calls on the Old Groceryman and Gets Acquainted with His New Dog — Off Again to See America 167

CHAPTER XL

The Bad Boy Relates the Automobile Ride He and Dad Took — They Sneak Out of Town 185

CHAPTER XH.

The Bad Boy Writes His Chum Not to Get so Gay-— Dad's Experience with the Peccaries 204

CHAPTER Xni.

The Bad Boy and His Dad Have Trouble with a New Breakfast Food — Dad Rides a Bucking Broncho 221

CHAPTER XIV.

The Bad Boy and His Dad Return from Texas — The Boy Tells the Groceryman About the Excitement at San Antonio 238

CHAPTER XV.

The Bad Boy's Joke with a Stuffed Rattlesnake— He Tells the Old Groceryman About His Dad*s Morbid Appetite. .252

CHAPTER XVI.

The Bad Boy Tells the Story of the Bears in Yellowstone Park and How Brave Dad Was 269

CHAPTER XVII.

The Bad Boy and the Groceryman Illustrate the Russia- Japanese War — The Bad Boy Tells About Dad's Efforts to Raise Hair by the "Sunshine" Method 286

ILLUSTRATIONS.

" Got Any Trailing Dogs ? " Frontispiece

Pa Kicked the Dog 23

The Grizzly Looked as Big as a Brewery Horse 28

They Gave Pa Three Cheers 35

The Squaws Seemed to be Worshipping Pa 39

The Horse Stumbled, Throwing Pa Over His Head and

Killing the Wolf 47

He Looked Like Moonlight on the Lake 53

The Chiefs Knees Ejiocked Together 59

Pa Only Touched the High Places 67

A Boy Dinosaurus Reached Out His Neck and Picked

Up a Steer 75

We Were Captured by the Curry's Gang 83

Pa Told Them About the Wave of Reform SS

I Say to the Engineer — " Charley, Turn Her Off and

Stop Her " 95

One Day the Robbers Came Back From a Raid With

Piles of Greenbacks 104

Drank to the Health of Their Distinguished Guest iii

The Robbers Guided Us in the Dark Through the Valley. 117

The Pony Tossed Pa in the Air 129

Pa Swung His Ax Handle 131

Pa Was Alive to His Danger 144

The Buffaloes Licked Pa's Bald Head— Pa Began to Pray. 148

ILLUSTRATIONS

A Couple of Bouncers Took Pa by the Elbows and Fired Him Out 156

" Dog Does Kinder Act as Though He Had Something on His Mind " 171

*" Jerusalem, But You Are a Sight," Said the Old Groceryman 187

Dad Said, *' Good Shot, Hennery " 192

*' It Rained Bananas and the Dago Came Down on His

Head " 195

"The Farmer Had Grabbed Hold of a Wire Sign Across

the Street" 198

"Hennery, This Attempt on Your Part to Murder Me

Was Not the Success You Expected" 201

''Dad Sat in the Parlor With a Widow Until the Porter

Had to Tell Him to Cut it Out " 207

"I Got a Gambler to Look Cross at Dad" 211

"Dad Was Up On a Limb and the Wild Animals Were

Jumping Up to Eat His Shoes" 215

" Hennery, I Feel as Though Your Dad Was Not Long

For This World " 223

Dad Among the Cowboys 227

"Dad Began to Pose as a Regular Old Rough Rider" 231

Dad On a Bucking Broncho 235

" That^s a Prairie Dog From Texas " 241

"Dad Heard Something at Night and Rose Up in Bed "..244 "Dad Stepped On My Prairie Dog and Yelled Murder "..247

** We Left Under Escort of the Police " 249

"Arrest That Boy With the Rattlesnake," Said the Gro-

ceryman 257

"Each Oyster Was As Big As a Pie Plate" 263

Landed With His Head in a Basket of Strictly Fresh Eggs. 272

ILLUSTRATIONS

"You Ought to Have Seen Dad's Short Legs Carry

Him to a Tree " 278

*' Studied the Bears for Awhile and Let Dad Yell for

the Police" 282

Come to Present Arms 288

When the Fireworks Went Off in the Grocery 293

"Dad Said if Rockefeller Could Raise Hair by the Sunshine Method, He Could " 299

Peck's Bad Boy with the Cowboys.

Chapter I

The Bad Boy and His Pa Go West— Pa Plans to Be a Dead Ringer for Buffalo Bill — They Visit an Indian Reservation and Pa Has an Encounter with a Grizzly Bear.

Well, I never saw such a change in a man as there has been in pa, since the circus managers gave him a commission to go out west and hire an entire outfit for a wild west show, regardless of cost, to be a part of our show next yean He acts like he was a duke, searching for a rich wife. No country politician that never had been out of his own

^3 county, appointed minister to England, could put on more style than pa does.

The first day after the show left us at St. Louis we felt pretty bum, 'cause we missed the smell of the canvas, and the sawdust, and the animals, and the indescribable odor that goes with a circus. We missed the performers, the band, the surging crowds around the ticket wagon, and the cheers from the seats. It almost seemed as though there had been a funeral in the family, and wc were sitting around in the cold parlor waiting for the lawyers to read the will. But in a couple of days pa got busy, and he hired a young Indian who was a graduate of CarlislCj as an interpreter, and a reformed cowboy, to go with us tp the cattle ranges, and an old big game hunter who was to accompany us to the places where we could find buffalo and grizzly bears. Pa chartered a car to take us west, and after the Indian and the cowboy and the hunter got sobered up, on the train, and got the St. Louis ptomaine poison out of their systems, and we were going through Kansas, pa got us all into the smoking compartment.

^^Gentlemen," he said, "I want you to know that this expedition is backed by the wealth of the circus world, and that there is nothing cheap about it. We are to hire, regardless of expense, the best riders, the best cattle ropers, and the best everything that goes with a wild west show. We all know that Buffalo Bill must soon, in the nature of things, pass away as a feature for shows, and I have been selected to take the place of Bill in the circus world, when he cashes in. You may have noticed that I have been letting my hair and mustache and chin whiskers grow the last few months, so that next year I will be a dead ringer for Bill. All I want is some experience as a hero of the plains, as a scout, a hunter, a scalper of Indians, a rider of wild horses, and a few things like that, and next year you will see me ride a white horse up in front of the press seats in our show, take off my broad-brimmed hat, and wave it at the crowned heads in the boxes, give the spurs to my horse, and ride away like a cavalier, and the show will go on, to the music of hand-clapping from the assembled thousands, see?'*

The cowboy looked at pa's stomach, and said: "Well, Mn Man, if you are going to

i6 blow yourself for a second Buffalo Bill, I am with you, at the salary agreed upon, till the cows come home, but you have got to show me that you have got no yellow streak, when it comes to cutting out steers that are wild and carry long horns, and youVe got to rope 'em, and tie 'em all alone, and hold up your hands for judgment, in ten seconds,'^

Pa said he could learn to do it in a week, but the cowman said: ''Not on your life." The hunter said he would be ready to call pa B. Bill when he could stand up straight, with the paws of a full-grown grizzly on each of his shoulders, and its face in front of pa's, if pa had the nerve to pull a knife and disembowel the bear, and skin him without help. Pa said that would be right into his hand, 'cause he use to work in a slaughter house when he was a boy, and he had waded in gore.

The Indian said he would be ready to salute pa as Buffalo Bill the Second, when pa had an Indian's left hand tangled in his hair, and a knife in his right hand ready to scalp him, if pa would look the Indian in the eye and hypnotize the red man so he would drop the hair and the knife, turn his back on pa, and invite him to his wigwam as a guest. Pa said all he asked was a chance to look into the very soul of the worst Indian that ever stole a horse, and he would make Mr. Indian penuk, and beg for mercy.

And we all agreed that pa was a wonder, and then they got out a pack of cards and played draw poker awhile. Pa had bad luck, and when the Indian bet a lot of chips,

i8 pa began to look the Indian in the eye, and the Indian began to quail, and pa put up all the chips he had, to bluff the Indian, but pa took his eye off the Indian a minute too quick, and the Indian quit quailing, and bet pa $70, and pa called him, and the Indian had four deuces and pa had a full hand, and the Indian took the money. Pa said that comes of educating these confounded red devils, at the expense of the government, and then we all went to bed.

The next morning we were at the station in the far west. We got off and started for the Indian reservation where the Carlisle Indian originally came from, and where we were to hire Indians for our show. We rode about 40 miles in hired buckboards, and just as the sun was setting there appeared in the distance an Indian camp, where smoke ascended from tepees, tents and bark houses. When the civilized Carlisle Indian jumped up on the front seat of the buckboard and gave a series of yells that caused pa's bald head to look ashamed that it had no hair to stand on end, there came a war whoop from the camp, Indians, squaws, dogs, and everything that contained a noise letting out yells that made me sick. The Carlisle Indian began to pull off his citizen clothes of civilization, and when the horses ran down to the camp in front of the chief's tent the tribes welcomed the Carlisle prodigal son, who had removed every evidence of civilization, except a pair of football pants, and thus he reinstated himself with the affections of his race, who hugged him for joy.

Pa and the rest of us sat in the buckboard while the Indians began to feast on something cooking in a shack. We looked at each other for awhile, not daring to make a noise for fear it would offend the Indians. Pretty soon an old chief came and called pa the Great Father, and called me a pup, and he invited us to come into camp and partake of the feast.

Well, we were hungry, and the meat certainly tasted good, and the Carlisle civilized Indian had no business to say it was dog, 'cause no man likes to smoke his pipe of peace with strong tobacco in a strange pipe, and feel that his stomach is full of dog meat. But we didn't die, and all the evening the Indians talked about the brave great father.

It seemed that they were not going to take much stock in pa's bravery until they had tried him out in Indian fashion. We were standing in the moonlight surrounded by Indians, and pa had been questioned as to his bravery, and pa said he was brave like Roosevelt, and he swelled out his chest and looked the part, when the chief said, pointing to a savage, snarling dog that was smelling of pa: ^^Brave man, kick a dog!"

We all told pa that the Indian wanted pa to give an exhibition of his bravery by kicking the dog, and while I could see that pa had rather hire a man to kick the dog, he knew that it was up to him to show his mettle, so he hauled ofif and gave the dog a kick near the tail, which seemed to telescope the dog's spine together, and the dog landed far away. The chief patted pa ^n

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the shoulder and said: ^'Great Father, bully good hero. Tomorrow he kill a grizzly,'^ and then they let us go to bed, after pa had explained that if everything went well he would hire all the chiefs and young braves for his show.

After we got to bed pa said he was almost sorry he told the chief that he would take a grizzly bear by one ear, and cuff the other ear with the flat of his hand, as he didn't know but a wild grizzly would look upon such conduct differently from our old bear in the show used to. Any person around the show could slap his face, (>r cuff him, or kick him in the slats, and he would act as though they were doing him a favon The big game hunter told pa that there was no danger in hunting a grizzly, as you could scare him away, if you didn't want to have any truck with him, by waving your hat and yelling: "Git, Ephraim." He said no grizzly would stand around a minute if you yelled at him. Pa made up his mind he would yell all right enough, if we came up to a grizzly.

Well, we didn't sleep much that night, 'cause pa kept practicing on his yell to scare a grizzly, for fear he would forget the words, and when they called us in the morning pa was the poorest imitation of a man going out to test his bravery that I ever saw. While the Indians were getting ready to go out to a canyon and turn the dogs loose to round up a bear, pa got a big knife and was sharpening it, so he could rip the bear from Genesis to Revelations. After breakfast the chief and the Carlisle Indian, and! the big game hunter, and the cowman and I went out about two miles, to the mouth of the canyon, where it was very narrow, and they stationed pa by a big rock, right where the bear would have to pass; the rest of us got up on a bench of the canyon, where we could see pa be brave, and the young Indians went up about a mile, and started the dogs. Well, pa was a sight, as he stocrd there waiting for the bear, so he could cuff its ears, and rip it open, right in sight of the chief, and skin it; but he was nervous, and we could see that his legs trembled when he heard the dogs bark up the canyon. I yelled to pa to think of Teddy Roosevelt, and Daniel Boone, and Buffalo Bill, and set his teeth so they would not chatter and scare the bear, but pa yelled back: ^^Never you mind, I will kill my bear in my own way, but you can make up your mind to have bear meat for supper."

Pretty soon the big game hunter said: *'There he comes, sure's you are born," and we looked up the canyon, and there was something coming, as big as a load of hay, with bristles sticking up a foot high on its back, and its mouth was open, and it was loping right towards pa. Gee, but I was proud of pa, to see him sharpening his knife on his boot leg, but when the great animal got within about a block of pa, the great father seemed to have a streak of yellow, for he dropped his knife and yelled: ^^Git, Ephraim," in a loud voice, but Ephraim came right along, and didn't git with any great suddenness. When the bear got within about four doors of pa, he saw the great father, and stood up on his hind legs, and looked as big as a brewery horse, and he opened his mouth and said: ^Woof," just like that. That was too much for my pa, who began to shuck his clothes, and then started on a run towards the mouth of the canyon. The bear looked around as much as to say: "Well, what do you think of that?" and we watched pa sprinting toward the Indian camp like a scared wolf.

The big game hunter put a few bullets in the bear where they would do the most good, and killed it, and we went down in the canyon and skinned it, and took the meat and hide to camp, where we found pa under a bed in a squaw's tepee, making grand hailing signs of distress, and trying to tell them about his killing a bear by letting it run after him, so it would tire itself out and die of heart failure.

When we found pa he had come out from under the bed, and was looking at the hide of the bear to find the place where he hit it with the knife, as he said he could see that the only chance for him to kill the bear was to throw the knife at it from a distance, 'cause the bear was four times as big as any bear he had ever killed. Pa took out a handful of gold pieces and distributed them among the Indians, and told the Carlisle Indian to explain to the tribe that the great father had killed the bear by hypnotism, and they all believed it except the chief, whc seemed skeptical, for he said: ^^Great father heap brave man like a sheep. Go play seven-up with squaws." Poor pa wasn't allowed to talk with the men all day, 'cause the old chief said he was a squaw man. Pa says they don't seem to realize that a man can be brave unless he allows himself to be killed by a bear, but he says he will show them that a great mind and a great head is better in the end than foolishness. Now they want pa to run a footrace with the young Indians, as the record he made getting to camp ahead of the bear is better than any time ever made on the reservation.

CHAPTER 11.

Indian Chief Compels Bad Boy's Pa to Herd with the Squaws — He Shows Then? How to Make Buckwheat Cakes and Is Kept Making Them a Week— He Talks to the Squaws About Wcinen's Rights and They Organize a Strike — Pa's Success in a Wolf Hunt — The Strike is Put Down and the Indians Prepare to Burn Pa at the Stake.

Since pa's experience in trying to kill a

grizzly by making the animal chase him and

die of heart disease, the chief has made pa

herd with the squaws, until he can prove

that he is a brave man by some daring deed.

The Indians wouldn't speak to him for a

long time, so he decided to teach the squaws

how to keep house in a civilized manner, and he began by trying to show them how to make buckwheat pancakes, so they could furnish something for the Indians to eat that does not have to be dug out of a tin can, which they draw from the Indian agent. Pa found a sack of buckwheat flour and some baking powder, and mixed up some batter, and while he was fixing a piece of tin roof for a griddle, the squaws drank the pancake batter raw, and it made them all sick, and the chief was going to have pa burned at the stake, when the Carlisle Indian who had eaten pancakes at college when he was training with the football team, told the chief to let up on pa and he would give them something to eat that was good, so pa mixed some more batter and when the buckwheat pancakes began to bake, and the odor spread around among the Indians, they all gathered around, and the way they ate pancakes would paralyze you. They got some axle grease to spread on the pancakes, and fought with each other to get the pancakes, and they kept pa baking pancakes all day and nearly all night, and then the squaws began to feel better, and pa had to bake pancakes for them, and when the flour gave out the chief sent to the agency for more, and for a week pa did nothing but make pancakes, but finally the whole tribe got sick, and pa had to prescribe raw beef for them, and they began to get better, and then they wanted pa to go on a coyote hunt, and kill a kiota, which is a wolf, by jumping off his horse and taking the wolf by the neck and choking it to death.

Pa said he killed a tom cat that way once, and he could kill any wolf that ever walked, so they arranged the hunt. Before we went on the hunt pa sent to Cheyenne for two dozen little folding baby trundlers for the squaws to wheel the papooses in, 'cause he didn't like to see them tie the children on their backs and carry them around. When the trundlers came pa showed the squaws how they worked, by putting a papoose in one of the baby wagons, and pushing it around the camp, and by gosh, if they didn't make pa wheel all the babies in the tribe, for two days, and the Indians turned out and gave the great father three cheers, but when the squaws wanted to get in the wagons and be wheeled around, pa kicked. After teaching the squaws how to put the children in the wagons and work them, we went off on the hunt, and when we came back every squaw had her papoose in a baby wagon, but instead of wheeling the wagon in civilized fashion, they slung the wagons, babies and all, on their backs, and carried the whole thing on their backs. Gee, but that made pa hot. He says you can't do anything with a race of people that haven't got brain enough to imitate. He says monkeys would know better than to carry baby wagons on their backs. I never thought that Indians could be jealous, but they are terrors when the jealousy germ begins to work. There i*^ no doubt but that the squaws got to thinking a great deal of pa, 'cause he talked with them, through the Carlisle Indian for an interpreter, and as he sat on a camp chair and looked like a great white god with a red

.38 nose, and they gathered around him, and he told them stories of women in the east, and how they dressed and went to parties, and how the men worked for them that they might live in luxury, and how they had servants to do their cooking, and maids to dress them, and carriages to ride in, and lovers to slave for them, it is not to be wondered at that those poor creatures, who never had a kind word from their masters, and who were looked upon as lower than the dogs, should look upon pa as the grandest man that ever lived, and I noticed, myself, that they gave him glances of love and admiration, and when they would snuggle up closer to pa, he would put his hand on their heads and pat their hair, and look into their big black eyes sort of tender, and pinch their brown cheeks, and chuck them under the chin, and tell them that the great father loved them, and that he hoped the time would come when every good Indian would look upon his squaw, the mother of his children, as the greatest boon that could be given to man, and that the now despised squaw would be placed on a pedestal and honored by all, and worshiped as she ought to be. That was all right enough, but pa never ought to have gone so far as to advise them to strike for their rights, and refuse to be longer looked upon as beasts of burden, but demand recognition as equals, and refuse longer to be drudges. I could see that trouble was brewing, for every squaw insisted on kissing the great father, and then there came a baneful light in their eyes, and they drew away togather and began to talk excitedly, and pa said he guessed they were organizing a woman's rights union.

Pa and the Carlisle Indian and I went out for a stroll in the forest, and were gone an hour or so, and pa got tired and he and I went back to camp before the Carlisle Indian did, and when we got in sight of camp we could see by the commotion that the squaw strike was on, 'cause the squaws were talking loud, and the Indians were getting their guns and it looked like war. We crawled up close, and the squaws drew butcher knives and made a rush on the Indians, and the Indians weakened, and the squaws tied their hands and feet, and then the squaws had a war dance, and they told the Indians that they were now the bosses, and would hereafter run the affairs of the tribe, like white women did, and that the Indians must do the cooking, and do the work, while the squaws sat in the tents to be waited on, and that they would never do another stroke of hard work that an Indian could do. I never saw such a lot of scared Indians in my life, but when the squaws put the butcher knives to their necks, and looked fierce, and grabbed the Indians by the hair and looked as though they were going to scalp them, the Indians agreed to do all the work, and just then pa and I came up, and the squaws hailed pa as their deliverer, and they fell on his neck and hugged him, and they placed a camp chair for him, and put a tiger skin cloak around him, and a necklace of elk's teeth around his neck, and all kneeled down and seemed to be worshiping him, while the Indians looked on in the most hopeless manner, and then the Carlisle Indian came and said the squaws had made pa the chief squaw of the tribe, and that the Indians had agreed to do the work hereafter.

Pa counted the elk teeth on his necklace and figured that he could sell them for two dollars apiece, and pay the expenses of the trip. Then the squaws cut the strings that bound the Indians, and set them to work cooking dinner, and It was awful the way the spirit seemed to be knocked out of the Indians, just by a little rising on the part of the downtrodden squaws. The Indians cooked dinner, and waited on the squaws, and pa and all of us whites, and after dinner the squaws ordered the horses and the squaws and us whites went off on a wolf hunt, with the dogs, where pa was to show his bravery to the squaws instead of the Indians. The squaws gave pa the old chief's horse, ana the best one in the tribe, and leaving the chief to wash the dishes, and the Indians to clean up the camp, and clean some fish for supper, the victorious squaws with pa at the head, and the rest of us whites on ponies, went out on the mesa and turned the dogs loose, and pretty soon they were after a wolf and pa led out ahead on his racing pony, cheered by the yells of the squaws, and it was a fine race for about two miles. Pa and the cowboy and the big game hunter and I got ahead of the squaws, and after awhile we got up pretty near to the wolf, and the big game hunter said to pa: **Now, old man, is your chance to make yourself solid with the squaws. We will hold back and when the dogs get the wolf surrounded you rush in and kill him or your name's Dennis." Pa said: "You watch my smoke, and see me eat that wolf alive.'' So we held up our horses, and let pa go ahead.