Karl and the queen of Queer-land

I. Old Dame Nonsense was jolly and fat

So was her dog, so was her cat;

Pussy would grin as she lay in the sun —

Carlo would wag his tail at the fun —

Everything laughed in that comical house,

From the mistress and maids to the tiniest mouse!

II

Everything laughed — the fowls and the fish Grinned in the kitchen — smiled on the dish —

The very potatoes their eyes would wink —

The clams laughed from ear to ear, you would think The cabbage and lettuce kept wagging their heads, And the pansies smiled in the garden-beds !

hi.

The butcher’s horse did nothing but grin When his master carried the marketing in —

The crossest people would laugh and roar When old Dame Nonsense opened her door — While all the children who passed that way Danced with delight for the rest of the day.

IV Pbeface

IY.

Now, here are some of the foolish things This droll old woman oft pictures and sings —

If you are too stupid — (I mean too wise)

To laugh at foolish things — shut your eyes !

For this is a peep, you understand,

Into that famous Nonsense land;

And this book was written for those queer folks Who don’t need a moral tacked on to all jokes!

E. T. C.

CONTENTS,

PAGE.

Frontispiece.

Preface, iii

Gingerbread House, ........ 3

Fizz and Freeze, Twelve Illustrations , 12

A Lunch Party, 25

A Visit to Jamboree, One Illustration, .... 27

How the Lambkins went South, One Illustration, . . 30

Song of the Numbers, 37

Giant Booter-Bro, One Illustration, 39

What the Turkey Wanted, 46

Land of Fiddle-ma-Ree, 49

Grammar Song, 52

Fanny Florence Felicia Finn, 50

Cat Calls, One Illustration, 57

What the Sparrow said, 59

Peter Patchin, 63

Gretchen and the Bouquet, Two Illustrations, . . .69

The Oyster and the Clam, 71

The Lambkins at School, 72

CONTENTS, viii

' PAGE.

The Lambkins go a-Fishing, One Illustration, ... 78

Song of the Dustpan, 86

Song of the Broom, 87

The Ambitious BroOm, 88

Mice in the Cheese, 96

Puss and Pug, 98

The Singing-School, 100

Song of the King of Fiddle-ma-ree, One Illustration , . 105 Chow-Chow and Ciioo-Choo, One Illustration, . . . 109

Poker and Tongs, 112

The Three Wise Women, Four Illustrations, . . . 119

The Three Wise Men, 121

The Three Wise Couples, Two Illustrations, . . . 128

Dick’s Supper, Three Illustrations, 128

The Bear that loved Company, One Illustration, . . 134

The Grasshopper’s Fate, 141

The King’s Taster, . . 143

Acknowledgments are due to Harper & Bros, for courtesy in permitting tlie use of the illustrations, by Abbey, to “Fizz and Freeze,” which appeared first in their Magazine ; and to Scribner & Co., for like favors for articles first issued in “St. Nicholas.” The latter engravings, with many others prepared expressly for this Edition, are from the facile pencil of Livingston Hopkins.

OR,

KARL’S QUEER STORIES.

Karl was in a bad humor, there was no doubt of that. He pushed away his books with a frown, and then leaned back in his chair, exclaiming :

“ How I wish I could get rid of these stupid old lessons! They’re so tiresome too — just as if /cared what kings lived a hundred years ago, or whether table is a noun or a verb. I don’t care anything about it, so there !” and Karl jumped up and walked over to the window just as the clock on the mantel-shelf struck nine.

But when he drew aside the window curtains to take a look at the sky, he saw’ the very queerest thing. The moon was shining brightly, and one silver ray streamed right into the window, and down that shining moonbeam a queer little old woman came sliding — not running or walking, but sliding — with her hands folded on her lap, and a wrinkled smile on her funny puckered little face !

Down slie slid, down, until she came close to the window. Then she waved her hand once, the glass seemed to divide, and the little old woman jumped off the moonbeam, shook out her red skirts, and stood smiling close to the astonished Karl without speaking a word.

Now Karl was really a very polite boy, and as soon as he noticed that the old woman wTas standing he ran to get her a chair, and said with his best bow :

“ Won’t you take a seat, ma’am? You must be very tired, riding on a moonbeam. Have you had a long journey ?”

The queer little old woman only laughed as she sat down, but presently she asked, “ Why don’t you study your lessons as you ought, Karl? What makes you so idle?”

Karl began to look cross again at' this. “ I hate lessons,” he said at last, “ they are so dull and tiresome. I love to read story-books, but these old things” — pushing some of the books off the table as he spoke,— “why, I can’t like them, you know.”

The old woman stooped down and picked up the books from the floor where they had fallen.

“ The fact is that you don’t know how to use your books,” said she. “ Suppose I show you some nice stories in them : what would you say then ?”

OR, KARL’S queer stories.

“ I should say it was wonderful,” answered Karl ; “ but I would like to see you do it, that’s all.”

The old woman laughed again, one of her queer puckered little laughs, and then taking up Karl’s spelling-book, she began to shake it violently, holding it in both hands as if it was a large pepper-box. After a great deal of hard shaking she opened the book, and then Karl started with astonishment. All the long straight columns of words were gone, and in their places were pictures and a long story in rhyme !

u There !” said the old woman, handing him the book, “ now see what your spelling-book says.”

“ Oh, how wonderful !” exclaimed Karl. u You must be a witch, to shake a story out of those long rows of words I hate so much,” and so saying Karl drew his chair close to the table and began to read the story of

THE GINGERBREAD HOUSE.

I.

The nicest old lady that ever you saw Was little Miss Nancy Mehitable More :

So cunning and small,

She was only as tall

As a child of twelve years old and no more ;

And she lived all alone In a house of her own,

A gingerbread house, with a chocolate floor!

ii.

The house was quite small,

Two rooms — that was all —

Right in the middle a nice little hall;

The walls, as I’ve said,

Of the best gingerbread,

The roof of cocoa-nut, colored red,

Candy windows and door :

Now who ever saw

Such a sweet little dwelling as this before ?

hi.

One day Miss Nancy Mehitable More Was carefully sweeping her chocolate floor,

And wiping the dust from her candy door.

When her house-work was done She sat in the sun,

“For I feel quite fatigued,” said little Miss More.

IV.

“I’ll think awhile,” said little Miss Nancy; “Thinking's a useful thing, I fancy.”

OR, KARI/S QUEER STORIES.

So she folded her hands and shut her eyes,

And looked so very profound and wise

That the beetles stepped on her toes, and the flies

Lit on the frill of her cap, to buzz —

“ She's taking a naj) ! she always does!''''

Y.

Quiet she sat till an hour had passed,

Then she startled the flies By opening her eyes,

And beginning to talk quite loud and fast :

“ Dear me ! I’ve had a thought at last —

I’ll give a ball!

I’ll ask the children, one and all,

Never mind if my house is small —

There’ll be room enough For ‘Blindman’s Buff,’

‘Puss in the Corner,’ and ‘ Snip, snap, snuff,’

‘ Oats, pease, beans, ’ and what they please — They shall come at seven And go at eleven,

The girls shan’t flirt and the boys shan’t tease ;

Why ! the little dears

Will remember for years

Miss Nancy’s ball — Hurrah ! three cheers 1”

And would you believe it? little Miss More

Gave a feeble chirp that meant : “ Hooroar”

VI

“But what, oh, what shall we have to eat ?” Said Miss More, as she sat on a garden-seat Of Everton taffy, crisp and sweet ; —

“I’m sure it wouldn’t be right to make Rich plum pudding and citron cake — Almond custards and lemon pies Aren’t good for children — no! I’ll be wise. The darlings shall have a wholesome tea, Nice milk and water, and — let me see — Bread and butter and jam, that’s enough, No puffs and tarts,

And peppermint hearts,

And all that indigestible stuff.

VII. “As for jellies and creams

To me it seems

They’re apt to give the children bad dreams. So I’ve made up my mind,

The dears shan’t find

Such horrid things here , it would be unkind.” Then into her house went little Miss More, Shut up her beautiful candy door,

And began to mix bread ;

“For I know,” she said :

“ I shall want a dozen loaves, or more.”

OR, KARL’S queer stories.

VIII. Of course the invitations were sent

Of course the delighted children went,

Every one dressed In his or her best ;

(’Twas a lovely sight, as their mothers confessed,)

But alas ! every one on the supper intent.

IX. “The sweetest old lady!” says Johnny to Jenny

“Do you think she’ll have mottoes ?” — “Oh, ever so many.” “Miss Nancy’s just lovely /” says Amy to Bess :

“I’ve got a new pocket, see here, in my dress.”

x.

These were some of the things the children said As they laid their hats and sacks on the bed, Miss Nancy’s bed, all ruffled and white,

And their eyes were bright"

With expectation and shy delight —

While little Miss Nancy stood in the hall With smiles and kisses to welcome them all.

XI. Well, the games were begun

There was plenty of fun,

Miss More herself was the merriest one,

She frolicked and danced with the smallest folks, She guessed the riddles and laughed at the jokes; Now here, now there,

Now everywhere

Her pretty pink cap-strings flew in the air;

And the children whispered; — “Oh! isn’t she siceet , Do you think it’s time for something to eat ?”