impressions and memories

Foreword

My life has been one of brilliant light and deep shadow.

To distract my thoughts at a sad and anxious time I began to write the following Impressions and Memories. As I wrote I seemed to live through the scenes again, and I have thought that what I have written might interest others and gain some unknown friends for me. These Impressions and Memories are but an account of the life of a private family whose lines have been cast between the great nations England and Germany.

It is my youth that, where I stand, Surrounds me like a dream, The sounds that round about me rise Are what none other hears ; I see what meets no other eye, Though mine are dim with tears, HENRY TaYLor.

vi

Chapter I Early Days

My birth in the Prussian Legation, 4 Carlton House Terrace—M y father and mother—Their home, Abbey Lodge—A distinguished governess and her romance—My brother Fritz—His unique birthday party— Sant’s portrait of me at eighteen—Herkomer’s portrait of me in 1896— Our summer holidays—My brothers go to school—The Nicholsons—A friend of sixty years : - ; : : . pp. 1-25

Chapter II Visits To Italy And Germany

My trip to Florence in 1866—A State ball at the Pitti—King Victor Emmanuel plays truant—Visit to the Queen of Bavaria at Hohenschwangen —The mad young King—We visit the Grand Duke and Duchess of Baden—Berlin in the sixties—Queen Augusta of Prussia—A resourceful Field-Marshal—First meetings with Bismarck—Later memories

Chapter III Our Quaker Relatives—and Others

Some more memories of my childhood—The Fox family at Falmouth— Holidays at Kreuznach—My gaming-table adventure—My Uncle Gurney —Our visit to Rickerby to my aunt, Mrs. Head—My early friendship with Catherine Spooner, wife of the Archdeacon, mother of Mrs. Inge, wife of Dean Inge—Death of my brother Fritz . . pp. 38-48

Chapter IV My Grandparents And The Family Circle

Baron Bunsen’s early life—His connection with Mr. Astor—His diplomatic career—His life at Cannes—His writings—My grandmother, née Frances Waddington—Her memoirs—Her friendship with the Grand Duke and Duchess of Baden—Carmen Sylva’s poem about my grandmother— Mr, Augustus Hare’s account of her—Her unmarried daughters—The vil

Vili CONTENTS slanderous gossip about them—My visits to the Gurneys of Ham House —My Uncle and Aunt Barclay at ‘‘ Monkham’s ’—My Cousin Marion, now Lady Carnegie—My cousin, Edward Buxton—My uncle, Fowell Buxton— Easneys—Our holidays at Cromer—Upton House : - pp. 49-73

Chapter VIII Bendeleben Memories

A great German estate and the life led on it—Bendeleben and its his. torical associations—A princely neighbour—The Schwarzburgs and their Castle of Sondershausen—A visit to Berlin—The old Emperor and Empress and their “Tea Cabinet ’’—My work among the women and girls of Bendeleben—Bendeleben Church : : - pp. 114-129

Chapter XII Coaching Memories

How I succeeded in getting my husband elected a member of the Four-in-Hand Club—His surprise and gratification—Coaching memoirs— Visit of the Crown Prince and Princess of Roumania—My daughters Elsa and Hilda—Hilda’s marriage to Karl von Bismarck—Their life at Schloss Plathe ‘ F : - . = : . pp. 163-176

Chapter XIII Memories Of The Bismarck Family

How I first met the Great Chancellor and Count Herbert—A drive with Prince Bismarck—Count Miinster’s alarming message to M. Waddington—Prince Bismarck and his physician—How I secured Prince Bismarck’s autograph—Another strange Waddington episode—Queen

Victoria and Prince Bismarck—Herbert Bismarck’s death, 1904 pp. 177-194

Chapter XIX Some Later Memories

Deichmann’s original birthday celebrations—My parents’ golden wedding at Bendeleben, 1895—Centenary of my Grandfather Bunsen’s birth at his native town of Corbach, 1891—Rebuilding of the Chapel of Bendeleben in celebration of our silver wedding, 1902—Deichmann’s death, 1907—Visit to Roumania, October 1908 . - pp. 262-277

Chapter XX Germany And The War

A dinner-party with Prince Lichnowsky—The ex-Emperor—His youth —The quarrel with Bismarck—His attitude towards the War—I re-visit Bendeleben under sadly changed conditions—Post-war privations—The deterioration in the people—Marriage of my daughter, Marie Thérése— Marketing in millions and trillions—The new régime—Lord Parmoor and the Buxtons . : 3 : : : ‘ - pp. 278-287

Chapter XXI Last Years At Abbey Lodge

Back at Abbey Btn ee to Sue brother Maurice’s career—Hnvot pp. 288-296

FACING PAGE

AsBEY Longs, 1895 é 4.

Portrait oF HinpA DE BUNSEN . ; : 1, kOe By James Sant, R.A.

PoRTRAIT OF BARON DEICHMANN . ‘ ; 2 SESG By Sir Hubert von Herkomer, R.A., 1897.

PoRTRAIT OF BARONESS DEICHMANN : ; . 160 By Sir Hubert von Herkomer, R.A., 1897.

Ovur CoacH AND TEAM aT ASCOT . s ; Pees 7 \,

PorRTRAIT OF BARON DEICHMANN IN Four-tn-Hanp UNIFORM : ; Z ; ‘ ; . 208 From the cartoon in Vanity Fair by Spy.

MAURICE DE BUNSEN. ‘ : ; ‘ , Beg xi

IMPRESSIONS AND MEMORIES

Chapter I Early Days

Was my birth, perhaps, an omen as to the course of my future life? I was born at 4 Carlton House Terrace, on November 30th, 1848.

This was then the Prussian Legation, and my grandfather, Baron Bunsen, the celebrated diplomat, theologian and scholar, was the Prussian Minister. He married Frances Waddington, the eldest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Waddington, of Llanover, Abergavenny.

My father was his second son, Ernest, who had been brought up as a cadet in the Prussian Army, and who had served as a lieutenant in the Kaiser-Franz Regiment of Guards.

My mother, Elizabeth, was the daughter of Mr. Samuel Gurney, of Ham House, Stratford, whose Quaker family, the Gurneys of Earlham, are well known through Mr. Augustus Hare’s book about them.

Elizabeth Fry, whose pioneer work in the prisons was so wonderful, was one of the Gurneys of Earlham, and my mother’s aunt. My mother, before her marriage, travelled with her on the Continent to visit the royalties and authorities who could assist her in her work.

The Gurneys, being acquainted with the Bunsens, enquired of them if they could introduce someone at Berlin who could help Mrs. Fry and her niece Elizabeth during their visit there. Thus my father, who was stationed in Berlin at the time, was brought to their notice, and his knowledge of English and of Berlin society was a great help to the English ladies.

The result was that my father was married to my mother on August 5th, 1845, in the Church of England at West Ham, Stratford. My Quaker grandparents were not present at the ceremony, but expressed their great satisfaction at a family gathering at Ham House afterwards.

My parents first settled in a little house called “‘ Upton Grove,” near my mother’s old home, and it was there that my eldest brother, Frederick Charles Ernest, familiarly called Fritz, was born in 1846.

In 1847 a second son was born and christened William Ernest, but he died when about a year old. A beautiful monument of him in white marble, as a baby asleep, is one of our most treasured family possessions.

As to the circumstances of my birth at the Prussian Legation, I never learnt much. There seems to have been a hurried christening, and I still use a gold thimble my grandmother gave me then. My godmothers were my aunts, Mary and Emilia Bunsen, who remained my faithful friends until they both died at a great age.

The names given me were Hilda Elizabeth. The name of “ Hilda’ was then not well known, as far as I am aware. My father wanted to give names to his children which were significant of his wide interests and international relations.

Saint Hilda of Whitby Abbey was a great and ideal figure to him. There was a Countess Hilda Raventlow, a Danish friend of my parents, who also may have suggested my name.

My mother was christened after her aunt, Elizabeth Fry. My godfather was Prince Lowenstein Wertheim, then Secretary of the Legation. He did not trouble

ABBEY LODGE 3 much about me, and I have no recollection. of him in my childhood.

Of my so celebrated great-aunt, Mrs. Fry, I have no personal recollections, for she died when I was two years old, but I have always heard her spoken of by my mother with reverent affection, and I have grown up under the influence of her great life and work. Like all the Gurneys of Harlham, she was fine-looking and of great dignity and power.

It was when I was seventeen and paying a visit to my grandmother at Carlsruhe-Baden that I met my godfather at the Grand Duchess’s. “I thought you died seventeen years ago,” was his remark to me, and I apologised humbly for my presence! He must have thought afterwards that he had not been quite courteous, and soon gave a diner dansant for me. I was not supposed to be “ out,’ but I remember that I very much enjoyed the little féte my godfather got up for me, and forgave him his not very polite remark.

When I was six months old my parents settled at “ Abbey Lodge,” a Gothic villa situated near the outer circle of Regent’s Park, which was surrounded by a garden of three acres’ extent, with very fine old trees, It is supposed to have been built by the architect Nash, who laid out Regent’s Park and built its terraces when George IV was Regent. Thus the house and trees must be more than a hundred years old.

There is a pretty story about my parents fixing upon Abbey Lodge, Regent’s Park, as their home. There was a great friend of the Bunsen family, Lady Raffles, who lived at Highgate, and driving past Abbey Lodge one day she heard a voice saying, “ This is the home of Ernest and Elizabeth.”” My parents came to view the house on this recommendation, and my Grandfather Gurney bought the long lease for them and gave them all the furniture and fittings required to make it the charming place it has been ever since.

The house had at one time belonged to a Ceylon merchant, and there are large tables and some heavy chairs and sofas of Ceylon mahogany, with very fine Indian carving, and by degrees it was filled with relics, busts, portraits and miniatures of the family. My parents kept open house, and received so many people of distinction for so many years that the house has become historic to us. My brother Maurice was born here on January 8th, 1852.

In 1903, after my parents’ death, Maurice being away on his diplomatic duties and I being settled at 8 Chester Street, S.W., Abbey Lodge was advertised for sale, and the lease was soon taken over by Mr. Emil Fuchs, who built a large studio opposite the entrance gate, and in whose possession it remained till I bought the place in the spring of 1911.

Mr. Fuchs was a great artist and sculptor, and was a friend of King Edward’s. After the death of Queen Victoria, the King sent for Mr. Fuchs to go to Osborne, where he made some beautiful sketches of the Queen.

When I became possessed of Abbey Lodge in 1911, Mr. Fuchs took a smaller house opposite, which his sister managed for him. But I was pleased that he should keep the studio, where his paintings and sculptures were a pleasure for me to watch. At his request I sat to him for my bust, which was exhibited at the Royal Academy and much admired as a work of art. It isin my possession. As he is now settled in America, all his pictures and statues will probably be sent there in time.

Situated, as it is, near a great thoroughfare, Abbey Lodge may be called unique. When we were children, and in later years, we found it easy to ride in Rotten Row in the morning, and to have the carriage in the

“yaQ4og LapunxarF |

RELIGIOUS FEARS 5 afternoon to pay visits, and to go out in the evening. Then there were only a few horse-omnibuses, and it would have been perhaps too far from clubs, etc., had not my father given up all idea of business or diplomatic appointments, becoming more and more absorbed in his theological and historical studies, which he pursued at Abbey Lodge and at the British Museum. Now the motor-’buses and underground railways take us in all directions every few minutes.

My recollection of our childhood is that it was teeming with life and animation. My brother Fritz being two

2 rs older than myself, he and I were constant compaitons, whilst Marie, who was born in 1853 at Abbey Lodge, and Maurice were relegated to the nursery in the care of a German nurse, Amalia, and the French rirsery-maid, Ameline. My brother Fritz, being delica e, was not allowed to go to a public school, but was * ought up by tutors at home, and attended an English (vllege near as a day scholar, until later on he was sent to a clergyman, the Rev. Frank Conybeare, who prepared him for the university. Thus I had the advantage of sharing in his studies to a great extent.

Our education, though somewhat international, was mostly conducted on English lines. Among the governesses I particularly remember Miss Green and Miss Patten, who came to us from my aunt’s, Lady Buxton’s, family. They must have been very excellent and conscientious, and were allowed to undertake our religious education on strictly evangelical lines. I remember being thoroughly frightened about my sinful state and spending wakeful hours awaiting the last Judgment. Being a small child at the time, it much affected my health, and I think I was too young to have these great questions opened to perplex my childish mind and simple faith. It was a great relief when my mother understood the situation and taught us the Bible in a different manner.

Various German and Swiss governesses came to teach my younger sister Marie, and gave me music lessons whilst I was under the German tutor, Dr. Frost. A very charming Swiss governess was Mademoiselle Cuénod, who spoke perfect French and German, and was a brilliant pianist. She shared in all the intellectual interests of my father, and was a great friend to us all.

I must have been fifteen when my parents engaged a Countess Hacke, of an old aristocratic German family, to be my governess-companion. Her sister was Palast Dame (the head of the Court Ladies) to Queen Augusta of Prussia, and the family having had great losses and sold their estates, the younger sister was glad to find a position in England.

The Countess Hacke dropped her title when staying with us in the capacity of governess-companion, but I remember that my parents treated her as a friend. She was very aristocratic-looking, and had very elegant manners, and became a great favourite of ours. I do not think that she was very learned or to be compared with those who had passed their examinations, but she taught us lessons of courtesy and consideration for others, which are not to be learnt in books. There is a charming story connected with her giving up her position in our family. She had been on a visit to her relations in Germany, and returning via Holland told my parents of the kind attentions of a Dutch gentleman to her on the voyage. She had, she said, given her name as Fraulein Hacke and my father’s address, at his request.

The next day a stranger asked to see my father, sending in his visiting-card with the name of Baron d’Ablang, with an address near The Hague. To my father’s surprise this very charming Dutch gentleman

GOVERNESSES AND TUTORS 7 came in evening dress, with white tie and white gloves, to pay a morning call. But the mystery was soon explained, as he had come on an official visit to ask for the hand of Fraulein Hacke. My father was somewhat perturbed, expressing his opinion that it would be advisable to communicate with Fraulein’s relations in Germany. Baron d’Ablang had no objection, and was especially pleased to hear of the lady’s position and title.

Having given my father details about his fortune and position, which, he said, could be verified by the Dutch Legation in London, he asked for an interview with the lady. The result was that they were engaged and married from Abbey Lodge, and she lived very happily with him till his death. After that she came to England to work among the poor, though he had left her his estate and a good fortune.

It would be impossible for me to describe the many governesses who directed our studies and tried to keep us in order, until the arrival of a German tutor, Dr. Frost, who must have been with us for some years. His method of teaching was certainly excellent, as he was very anxious that the foundations of the elementary teaching should be very clearly defined and understood by his young pupils. Thus I learnt the elements of Latin, and made good progress in Cesar’s Gallic War. My mother was anxious for me to learn drawing, and my father, who was a great singer, wished me to be able to accompany him. My music and drawing lessons therefore took me away from the very strict course of instruction which Dr. Frost would have wished me to attend. He did not in any way share in our games or amusements, being intensely absorbed by his studies in Early English literature, particularly Chaucer. These he pursued daily, after our lessonhours, in the British Museum. I remember that once he accompanied us on a holiday excursion to the Welsh Harp, but he was not a very efficient chaperon, for when we were getting into a boat on the lake, to our great amusement he fell into the water and was extricated with much difficulty. After this adventure I think his activities were confined to our lessons.

Girls being mostly at that period more intelligent and more keenly interested than boys, Dr. Frost’s ambition seems to me to have been centred on my education. In fact, I got on better with him than did my brothers, who did not appreciate his learning and worried him a good deal, owing to his pedantic ways. He was very good-natured in spite of all his peculiarities, and was even pleased, I remember, with an ugly valentine which we once sent him. When my brother Fritz, having attended an English college in the neighbourhood, was sent to a private tutor, Dr. Frost returned to Germany, and was proud to relate that he had found a good wife. He continued teaching there for many years. Only lately, in Germany, I met a lady who had been taught by him, and who told me with how much gratitude he spoke of my parents, and how full he was of the happy years he spent with us in England.

IT was very young when a Fraulein Voss undertook my German lessons. She afterwards married Dr. Althaus, and I went to them for lessons in their little house at North Bank, near Abbey Lodge. There I learnt to appreciate the German home life, and was much interested in the children. Dr. Althaus was a very learned and interesting man, who taught me German literature and history, and his wife was a wonderful Hausfrau and needlewoman, and I learnt much from her.

My father had a French friend, M. Dupont, of whose antecedents I know little, but he imbued me with a love of the French language and literature.

My music masters and mistresses were too many to

MY FATHER AND MOTHER 9 remember distinctly, but a Herr Wagner seems to me to have been the one I liked best. When I was about fifteen I began to play my father’s accompaniments, and it was a great happiness to us both. He had a beautiful tenor voice and a wonderful memory for music. He sang all the great songs of Beethoven, Schubert, Schumann, etc.; operatic airs too, and Handel’s and the other great oratorios. Mendelssohn had been a great friend of the Bunsens, and had accompanied my father in his compositions.

My father led the singing in the German Chapel at Rome as a child, but never had singing lessons, and did not really know the notes. Only lately Sir George Henschel told me that he thought him the finest amateur he had ever heard. Thus my father’s singing and my playing for him was part of my life, and we were great friends. He used to tell me of his studies when I was very young, and the ancient Egyptians and Chaldeans, the Greeks and the Romans, were very real to me.

My father was much interested in Darwin’s teachings of Evolution, which he considered universal and eternal. My mother never took to these theories, which did not accord with her early training, and her daily Bible readings with us were on strictly Quaker lines. Her knowledge of the Scriptures and of the Old Testament especially, and its accordance with the New Testament, was most remarkable. Her Bible, with its intricate markings of references and passages, is my great book of reference.

On Sundays we children read the lessons in English, with my parents, before the English Church Service, and recited the old German hymns to my father. He read family prayers to his family and servants before breakfast, and wrote a book of Prayers which I still use for the purpose.

It was when we were still small children that my brother Fritz persuaded my parents to invite the Italian organ-grinders, of whom there were so many about the streets of London, to a dinner-party on his birthday. It must have been a very original entertainment, and I remember the dinner was served in the bowling-shed in the garden, the men sitting round with their organs beside them. As far as I can remember they all had very good manners and behaved well in what must have been strange circumstances.

An adventure my eldest brother and I had in the garden at Abbey Lodge was rather amusing. We had a favourite kitten, and were awakened one morning by its pitiful mewing. It had climbed into the large elm tree which stands on the lawn, and was afraid to come down. We resolved to rescue it, and stole down into the garden in our night-clothes. Thus we were delighted to find a ladder which the builders had left outside, and with youthful enthusiasm, in spite of scratches, we both climbed into the tree. Of course, the sensible thing would have been for one to climb after the kitten and the other to remain below and hold the ladder. But alas! wisdom comes with experience. My brother climbed up the trunk of the tree and into the branches first, and I, in my anxiety about the kitten, followed him. We were both astride on the branches that held the kitten, which soon came to our protecting arms. But alas! our hope of escape from the tree soon fled, for the friendly ladder was not properly supported, and it fell flat on the grass. It was about five o’clock on a summer morning, and our calls to the inhabitants of the house remained unanswered, so we huddled together and kept as warm as we could till the gardener at last appeared. Seeing some little white forms in the trees, he was seized with terror and rapidly fled. Some time elapsed before the cook appeared and, recognising us, ran shrieking to our nurse. She came down in great

SIR THOMAS TROUBRIDGE 11 excitement and very angry indeed at our escapade. The gardener appeared with a ladder, and we were ignominiously put to bed. Why the frantic nurse should have made us take a dose of medicine I never could understand.

My parents did not rise to the occasion from the nurse’s point of view, who expected us to be severely punished, as they considered that we had undertaken this escapade with the idea of saving our little kitten.

It must have been on Saturday afternoons that Fritz, who was a great fisherman from his childhood, used to take me to fish in the Park, and to the horror of an attendant governess we used to return triumphantly with some tiny fish in a bottle. Sailing with umbrellas was also a sport to which we were addicted, but the ponies were the chief attraction.

A very happy recollection of these years were the weekly visits of my mother’s cousin, Lady Troubridge, her husband, Sir Thomas Troubridge, and their six children, Thomas, Ernest, Amy, Laura, Helen and Violet. They all came over to Abbey Lodge on Saturday afternoons, the children playing and romping with us in the house and garden.

Lady Troubridge was a very beautiful woman and Sir Thomas a fine type of English gentleman, in spite of his sadly crippled condition. LHrnest, the second son—Admiral Sir Ernest Troubridge —was my father’s godson, and though the children were younger than we were, they remained our faithful friends, and never ceased to visit Abbey Lodge.

Sir Thomas Troubridge was wounded in the Crimean War, at the Battle of Inkerman, where he lost his left foot and right leg. On being wounded, he refused to be moved, and continued commanding his battalion, the 7th Fusiliers, for two hours, his shattered legs being bandaged and propped on a gun.

1 He died January 30, 1926,

When Sir Thomas returned to England, he attended the review on the Horse Guards’ Parade on the occasion when Queen Victoria presented the medals to the Crimean heroes. As Sir Thomas was wheeled past in a bath-chair, the Queen quite broke down, and wept as she pinned on his medal. He was staying in London when laid up, before his wooden limbs were made, when one day a beautiful young girl, Miss Louisa Gurney, called to see his sister, Miss Troubridge. When she gave her name, “‘ Miss Gurney,”’ the servant said, “ Sir Thomas wishes to see you.” He thought that an old lady of that name was calling to see him about an invalid chair. Miss Louisa Gurney went up, and when she entered the room, Sir Thomas, for the first time, saw this lovely girl, full of heart and sympathy, and he straightway fell in love. They were married a year after, and were the most devoted couple during their short married life of ten years.

When I was eighteen, Mr. James Sant, who was an acquaintance of my parents, asked if he might paint a full-length portrait of me for the Royal Academy ; my parents had no objection, and he promised them a small copy of the picture. But I, who wanted to be riding every morning and seeing my young friends, was not very pleased at having constantly to be in Mr. Sant’s studio in Lancaster Gate, to stand for my portrait. It was, however, a great success, and can be compared to the portraits by Gainsborough. I was represented as walking through a wood, in a white muslin dress, and there is grace and movement in the figure which would be difficult to imitate. I remember that Mr. Sant, wishing to improve the picture, darkened his studio and let a ray of sunshine fall upon my hair. This gives the impression of it being fairer than it really was at that time, though, as a child, I had quite fair hair.

The picture made a great sensation, and Mr. Sant

PICTURES AT ABBEY LODGE 13 became famous as a Queen’s painter—Her Majesty Queen Victoria having been much struck by the painting and having sent for Mr. Sant to paint some of her family.

It was in 1912 that I persuaded my brother Maurice to be painted in his ambassadorial robes by Mr. Emil Fuchs, who had then the studio at Abbey Lodge.

This picture I particularly wished to have painted as a memorial of the great position my brother had attained in his career. It was a life-size, full-length portrait; the blue drapery of the cloak of the Knight of St. Michael and St. George is a great addition to the uniform. The Orders are: the Order of the Bath, the Knight Commander of the Victorian Order, and the Order of St. Michael and St. George, representing the dignity of his office.

The so-called Little Drawing-room of Abbey Lodge was the focus, one may say, of family interest; most of the busts and portraits and family relics were to be found in this room, which is situated behind the chief drawing-room. Beside the large portrait of my brother, Sir Maurice, hung one by Edward Hughes of my mother as an elderly lady with white hair and a Victorian cap. It gives the delicacy of the face, but does not give an impression of the remarkable energy which characterised her up to the end of her long life. She died in January 1903, aged eighty-five, and was only confined to her bed for a few days.

Two oil-paintings of “ kit-cat”’ size, by Professor Herkomer, of Baron Deichmann, my second husband, and myself, painted in 1896, hung in the dining-room. They were painted when Herkomer was at the height of his fame, and I am glad that I persuaded Deichmann to have them done then.

We had known Professor Herkomer for some years, first when he was living in quite a small house at Bushey, in Hertfordshire, where his father and uncle lived with him, his father as a wood-carver and his uncle working in wrought-iron. They had originally come from Bavaria, and were a family of wood-carvers. Thus they called Professor Herkomer “ Meister,’ and executed his beautiful designs in wood and iron. We had been much interested in Professor Herkomer’s genius, and often visited him. On one occasion he expressed a wish to paint me in a black velvet evening gown, with a dark background. But my husband had seen in his studio the portrait of an American lady in black velvet, with a very light green background, and was impressed with the idea that this would suit my picture. In vain Professor Herkomer remonstrated, and was at last persuaded to give way to my husband’s wishes. A trying time for me followed, as I had constantly to go down to Bushey to stand for my portrait in Professor Herkomer’s beautiful studio. It could only have been a pleasure, had I not noticed that the great artist was working on lines that did not represent what he had in his mind.