Budge and Toddie, Their Haps and Mishaps

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Dedication

The duty of people to whom books are dedicated, to purchase copies for themselves, was so thoroughly fulfilled by " the parents of the best children in the world," to whom " Helen's Babies " was inscribed, that the author of this book, impelled by the most popular form of selfishness, has sought for a still larger class to which to dedicate his book. He therefore inscribes it to

" Everybody who knows how to manage Other People's Children."

laying to his soul the flattering unction that if the compliment is recognized in the usual manner, every man, woman, and child in the United States will buy a copy.

Author's Preface

APOLOGETIC AND EXPLANATORY.

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a writer to impose five books upon the public within a single year, a decent respect for literary custom demands that he should make known the reasons which impelled him to do so : The author of " Helen's Babies ** might evade the subject by admitting, as he is perfectly willing to do, that his books are no part of literature as the word is defined at present. For the selfish purpose, however, of quieting his own apprehensions, he desires to say that, with the exception of this volume, the books he has published since " Helen's Babies " were partially or wholly completed before the story of "Budge" and " Toddie '* had gained more than ordinary attention ; that they were either under consideration, or were announced by different publishers; and that, as from a sentiment which he took for modesty, and also because he objected to having such hurried sketches appear as the measures of vi author's preface.

the ability which he hoped in later days to display, he had insisted upon anonymous publication, and supposed that the books would run the brief career of ordinary stories without causing curiosity as to the author's identity. " The Scripture Club of Valley Rest " was to have been published without signature several months ago, but a heavy pressure of other work delayed its completion until lately, so that it appeared but a brief month before the present volume. The immediate publication of " Other People's Children " does not afflict the conscience of the author, for though he would gladly have deferred its issuance indefinitely, the serial publication of the work has created for the complete work a demand for which the public alone is responsible. The author solemnly declares, however, that he has no more manuscripts to inflict upon the publishers and the public, and that if his future literary ventures are not of better quality than those of the past, it will not be for lack of more attention to any single book than has been bestowed upon all his published works combined.

As the characters in " Other People's Children " are the same as those which appeared in "Helen's Babies," ami as a certain line of questioning which has been vigorously followed for a year threatens to gain new force, the author begs to assure the public, with the hope that the statement may be accepted as final, that neither book is a author's preface. vii

recital of his own personal experiences. " Helen's Babies " grew out of an attempt to keep for a single day a record of the doings of a brace of boys of whom the author is half-owner ; the remainder of the book came from whatever portion of the human mind is the source of stories generally. Had the author not neglected to change the names of the children, no one of his acquaintances would have declared the book a family history, for even at present a hundred or more worthy couples among his friends insist that Budge and Toddie were drawn from their own children, and that neither the author, nor any one else, can display boys half so bright as their own darlings. As for the adult characters, the author can scarcely remember the time when he was a bachelor, he is positive that he never sold white goods, and that a tendays' vacation, with only a couple of lively boys for company, is a luxury which he never enjoyed. To the young men who have written to know if Miss Mayton has really disposed of her hand, the author can only say that as the lady never had an abiding place except in his own imagination, her hand will probably remain free forever.

The author of "Helen's Babies."

New York, June 25, 1877.

Other People's Children.

Chapter I

The writer of a certain much-abused book sat at breakfast one morning with his wife, and conversation turned, as it had done many times before, upon a brace of boys who have made much fun for the lovers of trifling stories and a great deal of trouble for their uncle. Mrs. Burton, thanks to that womanly generosity which, like a garment, covers the faults of men who are happily married, was so proud of her husband that she admired even his wretched book ; slie liad made magnificent attempts to defend it at points where it was utterly indefensible ; but her critical sense had been frec[ucntly offended by her husband's ignorance about the management of children. On the particular morning referred to, this critical sense was extremely active, wliether because of unusual surcease from care during the week, or because the tenderloin steak belied its name and was underdone, the author had not sufficient I time to determine by logical effort, for he was compelled to devote his entire attention to the art of self-defence. Like a prudent general who acknowledges to himself the superiority of his antagonist's force, he attempted to create diversions, but the weakness of all of these was recognized at sight, and they were treated with merited contempt.

"To realize, Harry," said Mrs. Burton, "how little true personal attention you gave to Budge and Toddie, while pretending to love them with the tenderness peculiar to blood- relationship, is to wonder whether some people do not really expect children to grow as the forest-trees grow, utterly without care or tiaining."

" I spent most of my time," said Mr. Burton, attacking his steak with more energy than was necessary at the breakfast- table of a gentleman whose business hours were easy — " I spent most of my time in saving their parents' property and their own lives from destruction. When had I an opportunity to do more ? "

A smile of conscious superiority, the honesty of which made it none the less tantalizing, passed lightly over Mrs. Barton's composed features as she replied : " All the while. You misused your time by endeavoring to correct the misapplications of juvenile spirit, wl;eruas you should have so treated the little darlings that wrongly directed energy would have been impossible. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

Mr. Burton had always hated proverbs, and now, as he tlid not know who originated Mrs. Burton's closing quotation, he mentally made a heavy-loaded scapegoat of the wise Solomon, and thought things that should never be whispered in orthodox ears. Mrs. Burton continued :

" You should have explained to them the . necessity for peace, order, cleanliness, and self-restraint. Do you imagine that, had you done so, their pure little hearts would not have received it all and acted upon it ? "

Mr. Burton offered a Yankee reply.

" Do you suppose, my dear," said he, " that the necessity for all these virtues was never brought to their notice ? Did you never hear the homely but significant saying that you may lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink ? "

With the promptness bom of true intuition, Mrs. Burton went around this verbal obstacle instead of attempting to reduce it.

"You might at least have attempted to teach them something of the inner significance of things," said Mrs. Burton. "Then they would have brought a finer sense to the contemplation of everything about them."

Mr, Burton gazed with admiration almost worshipful at this pure, noble creature, whose impulses led her so irresistibly to the discernment of true motives of action, and with becoming humility he remarked :

" Will you tell me how you would have explained the inner significance of dirt, so t^at these boys could have been trusted to cross a dry road without creating for themselves a halo which should be more visible than luminous ? "

" Don't trifle about serious matters, Harr}'," said Mrs. Burton, after a hasty but evident search for a reply. " You know that conscience and xsthctic sense lead to correct lives all persons who subject themselves to their influence, and you know that the purest natures are the most susceptible. If men and women, warped and mistrained as their earlier lives may ha\'c been, grow into sweetness and light under right incentives, what may not be done with those of whom it was said, ' Of such is the kingdom of heaven ' ? "

Mr. Burton instinctively bowed his head at his wife's last words ; but raised it speedily as the lady uttered an opinion which was probably suggested by the holy sentiment she had just expressed.

"Then you allow them to be so dreadfully irreverent in their conversations about holy things," said she.

" Really, my dear," expostulated the vie tim, " you must charge up some of these faults to the children's parents. r had nothing to do with the formation of the children's habits, and their peculiar habit of talking about what you call holy things is inherited directly from their parents.

Tom Lawrence says he doesn't believe it was ever intended that mere mention^of a man in Holy Writ should be a patent of holiness, and Helen agrees with him."

Mrs. Burton coughed. It is surprising what a multitude of suggestions can be conveyed by a gentle cough. At any rate, the slight laryngeal disturbance to which Mrs. Burton gave expression prepared her husband quite fully for what followed.

" I suppose," said Mrs. Burton, slowly, as if musing aloud, " that inheritance is the method by which children obtain many objectionable qualities for which they themselves are blamed, poor little things. I don't know how to sympathize in the least degree with this idea of Tom's and Helen's, for the Maytons, and my mother's family, too, have always been particularly reverent toward sacred things. I know very well that you are right in laying the fault to the parents instead of the children ; but I cannot see how they can bear to inflict such habits upon innocent babes, and I must say that I can't see how they can tolerate it in each other ; but families are different."

Mrs. Burton raised her napkin and with fastidious solicitude brushed a tiny crumb or two from her robe as she finished this remark. Blessed creature ! She needed to display sofne human weakness to convince her husband that she was not altogether too good for earth, and this implication of a superiority of origin, the darling idea of

6 OTHER PEOPLE S CPIILDREN.

every woman but Eve, answered the purpose perfectly Her spouse endured the infliction as good husbands always do in similar cases, though he somewhat hastily passed his coffee-cup for more sugar, and asked, in a tone in which self-restraint was distinctly perceptible :

" What else, my dear ? "

Mrs. Burton, suddenly comprehending the situation, instantly left her chair and made that atonement which is always sufficient between husband and wife ; then she said :

" Only one thing more, you dear old boy, and even that is a repetition, I suppose. It is this : parents are about as remiss as loving uncles in training their children, instead of merely watching them. The impress of the older and wiser mind should be placed upon the child from the earliest dawn of its intelligence, so that the little one's character shall be determined, instead of being left to chance."

" And the impress is readily made, of course, even by a love-struck uncle on a short vacation ? "

" Certainly ; even wild animals are often tamed at sight by master-minds."

" But suppose these impressible little beings should have opinions and wishes and intentions of their own ? "

" They should be overcome by the adult mind."

" And if they object ? "

" That should make no difference," said Mrs. Burton, gaining suddenly an inch or two in stature.

" Do you mean that you would really make them obey you ? " asked Mr. Burton, with a gaze as reverent as if the answer were to come from absolute authority.

" Certainly ! " replied the lady.

" By Jove ! " exclaimed her husband, " what a remarkable coincidence ! That is just w*hat I determined upon when I first took charge of those boys. And yet "

"And yet you failed," said Mrs. Burton. " How I wish I had been in your place ! "

" So do I, my dear," said Mr. Burton, " or at least I would wish so if I didn't remember that if you had had charge of those children, instead of me, there wouldn't have happened any of the blessed accidents that helped to make you Mrs. Burton."

The lady smiled graciously and answered :

" I may have the opportunity yet ; in fact — it's too bad that I haven't yet learned how to keep anything secret from you — I have arranged for just such an experiment. And I'm sure that Helen and Tom, as well as you, will learn that I am right."

" I suppose you will try it while I'm away on my Spring trip among the dealers ? " queried Mr. Burton hastily. " Or," he continued, " if not, I know you love me well enough to give me timely notice, so I can make a timely excuse to get away from home. \Vhen is it to be ? "

Mrs. Burton replied by a look which her husband was

Utterly failing to comprehend, when help came to him from an unexpected source. There were successive and violent rings of the door-bell, and as many tremendous pounds, apparently with half a brick, at the back-door.

Then there ensued a violent slamming of doors, a trampling in. the hall as of many war-horses, and a high-pitched shout of, " I got in fyst ! '* and a louder, deeper one of, " So did I ! " And then, as Mr. and Mrs. Burton sprang from their chairs, with faces full of apprehension and inquiry, the dining-room door opened, and Budge and Toddie shot in as if propelled from a catapult.

'* Hello ! " exclaimed Budge, by way of greeting, as Toddie wriggled from his aunt's embrace and seized the tail of the family Skye terrier. " What do you think now ? We Ve got a new baby, and Tod and I have come down here to stay for a few days ; papa told us to. Don't seem to me you had a very nice breakbux," concluded

I

Budge, after a critical survey of the table.

" And it's only jes' about so long," said Toddie, from whose custody the dog " Terry " had hurriedly removed his tail by the conclusive proceeding of conveying his whole body out of doors — '*' only jes' so long ! " repeated Toddie, placing his pudgy hands a few inches apart, and contracting every feature of his countenance, as if to indicate the extreme diminutiveness of the new heir.

Mrs. Burton kissed with more than usual fervor her nephews and her husband, and inquired as to the sex of the new inhabitant.

"Oh, that's the nicest thing about it,*' said Budge. " It's a girl. I'm tired of such lots of boys — Tod is as bad as a whole lot, you know, when I have to take care of him. Only now we're bothered, 'cause we don't know what to name her. Mamma told us to think of the loveliest thing in all the world, so I thou^t about squash-pie right away ; but Tod thought of molasses candy, and then papa said neither of 'em would do for the name of a little girl. I don't see that they're not as good as roses and violets, and all the other things that they name little girls after."

During the delivery by Budge of this information, Toddie had been steadily exclaiming, "I — I — I — I — I —

I ! " like a prudent parliamentarian who wants to

make sure of recognition by the chair.

I n his excitement he failed to realize for some seconds that his brother had concluded, but he finally exclaimed : " An' I — I — I — I — I'm goin to give her my turtle an' show her how to make mud pies wif currants in 'em."

" Huh ! " said Budge, with inexpressible contempt in his tones. " Girls don't like such things. Fm going to give her my blue neck-tie, and take her riding in the goat-carriage."

" Well, anyhow," said Toddie, with the air of a man who was wrestling victory from the jaws of defeat, " I'll lO OT?IER PEOPLE S CIIILDREN.

give her caterpillars ; I know she'll be sure to like them, 'cauzh they'zh got lovely fur jackets, all heavenly green an* red an' brown, like ladies' dwesses."

" And you don't know what lots of prayin' Tod and me had to do to get that baby," said Budge. " My ! It just makes me ache to think about it ! Whole days and weeks and months ! "

"Yesh," said Toddie. "An' Budgie sometimes was goin' to stop, 'cauzh he fought the Lord was too busy to listen to us. But I just told him that the Lord was our biggesht papa, an' just what papas ought to be, an' papa at home was just like papas ought to be, an' he always listens to little boys fyst, mamma says. An' the baby comeded. Yes, an' we had to be very good too. Why don't ^^^/ be real good an' pray lots? — then maybe you'll get a dear, sweet, little baby ? "

The temporary reappearance of the dog Terry put an end to the conversation, for both the boys moved toward him, which movement developed into a lively chase. Being not unacquainted with the boys, and knowing their tender mercies to be much like those of the wicked, Terry sought and found a forest retreat, and the boys came panting back and sat dejectedly upon the well- curb. Mrs. Burton, who stood near the window leaning upon her husband's shoulder, looked tenderly upon them, and murmured :

" The poor little darlings are homesick already. Now is the time for my reign to begin. Boys ! "

Both boys looked up at the window. Mrs. Burton gracefully framed a well-posed picture of herself as she leaned upon the sill, and her husband hung admiringly upon her words. *' Boys, come in the house and let's have a lovely talk about mamma."

" Don't want to talk about mamma," said Toddie, a suspicion of a snarl modifying his natural tones. " Wantsh the dog."

" But mamma and babies are so much nicer than dogs," pleaded Mrs. Burton, after a withering glance at the husband, who had received Toddie's remark with a titter.

" Well, / don't think so," said Budge reflectively. " We can always see mamma and the baby, but Terry we can only see once in a while, and he never wants to see us^ somehow."

" My dear," said Mr. Burton, humbly, " if you care for the experience of another, my advice is that you let those boys come out of their disappointment themselves. They'll do it in their own way in spite of you."

"There are experiences," remarked Mrs. Burton, with chilling dignity, " which are useful only through the realization of their worthlessness. Any one can let children alone. Darlings, did you ever hear the story of Little Patty Pout ? "

12 OTPIER PEOPLES CHILDREN.

" No," growled Budge, in a manner that would have discouraged any one not conscious of having been born to rule.

"Well, Patty Pout was a nice little girl," said Mrs, Burton, " except that she would sulk whenever things did not happen just as she wanted them to do. One day she had a stick of candy, and was playing * lose and find ' with it ; but she happened once to put it aw^ay so carefully that she forgot where it was, so she sat down to sulk, and suddenly there came up a shower and melted that stick of candy, which had been just around the comer all the while."

" Is Terry just around the corner ? " asked Toddie, jumping up suddenly, while Budge sullenly scraped the dirt with the toes of his shoes, and said :

"If she'd ate up her candy while she had it, she wouldn't have had any trouble."

Mr. Burton hurried into the back parlor to laugh comfortably, and without visible disrespect, w^hile Mrs. Burton remembered that it was time to ring the cook and chambermaid to breakfast. A moment or two later she returned to the window, but the boys were gone ; so was a large stone jar which was one of those family heirlooms which are abhorred by men, but loved more dearly by women than ancestral robes or jewels. Mrs. Burton had that mania for making preserves which posterity has infliclei upon even some of the brightest and best members of the race, and the jar in question had been carefully scalded that morning and set in the sun, preparatory to being filled with raspberry jam.

"Harry," said Mrs. Burton, "won't you just step out and get that jar for me ? It must be dry by this time."

Mr. Burton consulted his watch and replied :

" IVe barely time to catch the fast train to town, my dear ; but the boys won't fail to get back by dinner-time ; then you may be able to ascertain the jar's whereabouts."

Mr. Burton hurried out to the front door, and his wife made no less haste in the opposite direction. The boys were invisible, and a careful glance at the adjacent country showed no traces of them. Mrs. Burton called the cook and chamberaiaid, and the three women took each one a roadway through the lightly-wooded ground near the house. Mrs. Burton soon recognized familiar voices, and following them to their source, she emerged from the wood near the rear of the boys' own home. Going closer, she traced the voices to the Lawrence barn, and she appeared before the door of that structure to see her beloved jar in the middle of the floor, and full of green tomatoes, over which the boys were pouring the contents of bottles labelled " Mexican Mustang Liniment " and " Superior Carriage Varnish." The boys became conscious of the presence of their aunt, and Toddie, with a smile in which confidence blended with the assurance of success attained, said :

" We's makin* pickles for you, 'cause you told us a nice little story. This is just the way mamma makes 'em, only we couldn't make the stuff in the bottles hot."

Mrs. Burton's readiness of expression seemed somehow to fail her, and as she abruptly quitted the spot, with a hand of each nephew in her own, Budge indicated the nature of her feelings by exclaiming :

" Ow 1 Aunt Alice ! don't squeeze my hand so hard ! "

** Boys," said Mrs. Burton, " why did you take my jar without permission ? "

" What did you say ? " asked Budge. " Do you mean what did we take it for ? "

"Certainly."

"Why, we wanted to give you a s'prise."

" You certainly succeeded," said Mrs. Burton, without a moment's hesitation.

" You must give us s'prises too," said Toddie ; " s'prises is lovaly ; papa gives us lots hof 'em. Sometimes they're candy, but they're nicest when they're buttanoes " (bananas).

" How would you like to be shut up in a dark :oom all the morning, to think about the naughty thing you've done ? " asked Mrs. Burton.

I

" Huh ! " replied Budge, " that wouldn't be no s'prise at all ; we can do that any time that we do anything bad, and papa and mamma finds out. Why, you forgot to bring your pickles home ; I don't think you act very nice about presents and s'prises."

Mrs. Burton did not explain, nor did she spend much time in conversation. When she reached her own door, however, she turned and said :

" Now, boys, you may play anywhere in the yard that you like, but you must not go away or come into the house until I call yo;i, at twelve o'clock. I shall be very busy this morning, and must not be disturbed. Now you will try to be good boys, won't you ? ''

"/will," exclaimed Toddie, turning up an honest little face for a kiss, and dragging his aunt down until he could put his anns about her and give her an affectionate hug. Budge, however, seemed lost in meditation ; but the sound of the closing of the door brought him back to earth, and he threw the door open and exclaimed :

" Aunt AHce ! "

" What ? "

" Come here — I want to ask you something."

" It's your business to come to me. Budge, if you have a favor to ask," said Mrs. Burton, from the parlor.

" Oh ! Well, what I want to know is, how did the Lord make the first hornet — the very first one that ever was ? "

" Just the way he made everything else," replied Mrs. Burton ; " just by wanting it done."

" Then did Noah save hornets in the ark ? " continued Budge ; " 'cause I don*t see how he kept 'em from stinging his boys and girls, and then getting killed 'emselves."

"You ask me all about it after lunch. Budge," said Mrs. Burton, " and I will tell you all I can. Now run and play."

The door closed again, and Mrs. Burton, somewhat confused, but still resolute, seated herself at the piano for practice. She had been playing perhaps ten minutes, when a long-drawn sigh from some one not herself caused her to turn hastily and behold the boy Budge. A stern reproof was all ready, but somehow it never reached the young man. Mrs. Burton afterwards explained her silence by saying that Budge's countenance was so utterly doleful that she was sure his active conscience had realized the impropriety of his affair with the jar, and he had come to confess.

" Aunt Alice," said Budge, " do you know I don't think much of your garden ? There ain't a turtle to be found in it from one end to the other, and no nice, grassy place to slide down like there is at our house."

" Can't you understand, little boy," said Mrs. Burton, ** that we arranged the house and grounds to suit ourselves, and not little boys that come to see us ? "

** Well, I don't think that was a very nice thing to do/' said Budge. " My papa says we ought to care as much about pleasing other folks as we do for ourselves. 1 didn't want to make you that jar of pickles, but Tod said t'would be nice for you, so I went and did it, instead of asking a man that drove past to give me a ride. That's the way you ought to do about gardens."

" Suppose you run out now," said Mrs. Burton ; " I told you not to come in until I called you."

" But you see I came in for my top — I laid it down in the dining-room when I came in, and now it ain't there at all. I'd like to know what you've done with it, and why folks can't let little boys' things alone ? "

" See here. Budge," said Mrs. Burton, turning suddenly on the piano-stool, " I think there's a very cross little boy around here somewhere. Suppose / were to lose something "

'Twas a three-cent top," said Budge, " 'twasn't only a something."

" Suppose, then, that I were to lose a top," said Mrs. Burton, " what do you suppose I would do if I wanted it very much ? "

" You'd call the girl to find it — that's what I want you to do now," said Budge.

" I shouldn't do anything of the sort," said Mrs. Burton.

" Try to think now of what a sensible person ought to do

in such a case." 2 i8

OTHER PEOPLE*S CHILDREN.

Budge dejectedly traced with his toe one of the figures in the carpet, and seemed buried in thought ; suddenly, however, his face brightened, and he looked up shyly and said, with an infinite scale of inflections,