Festival Tales

Preface

. HE Tales of which this Volume is composed are selected from amongst a great many which, with one exception, appeared in various periodicals in Eng land and Ireland. They had a reception sufficiently favourable to induce me to ven ture on their reproduction in the present form. I have made a few not very important changes in some of them, and have curtailed others, so as to give, I hope, a continuity to the whole. The experiment of putting out these com positions for the second time is made not without some diffidence. The taste of the

PREFACE.

. IV public has in many respects changed since their original appearance : what pleased once may not please again. Failure, if I fail, will teach me a juster ap preciation of my own deserts. Success may embolden me to try a second Series. Two of the Tales, " Christmas Eve," and " Turned to the Wall," are now republished by the kind permission of Messrs. Cassell, Petter and Galpin. John Francis Waller. December, 1872. CONTENTS. PAGE New Year's Day. — Abraham Scrimble's Will i St. Valenttne's Day. — The Martyr 28 Easter Day. — St. Mary's-Super-Mare 74 All Hallow Eve. — Snap-apple Night at Castle Slingby . 99 The Feast of All Souls. — The Count of Castel Vecchio 131 CHRrsTMAS Eve. — A Tale of Two Travellers 20 r Innocents Day.— Turned to the Wall 234 New Year's Eve. — Snowed up — Balancing the Books . . FESTIVAL TALES Nrfrj star's Bag. ABRAHAM SCRIMBLE'S WILL.

Chapter I. How All The Scrimbles Met In Old Jewry, To

"HEAR SOME- THING TO THEIR ADVANTAGE, j|j|j^2i]NE fine summer's day, in the year of our Lord LfegSJj 1853, there was assembled, in the chambers of Mr. Reuben Levi, in Old Jewry, in the city of London, the whole family of the Scrimbles, who had come up from Somersetshire upon the following invitation, which was advertised in the Times news paper : — " The next of kin of Abraham Scrimble, of Cincinnati, in the State of Ohio, America, and formerly of the county of Somerset, B NEW YEAR'S DAT. 2 in England, lately deceased, are requested to attend at my chambers in No. 972 B Old Jewry, on Monday, the 20th day of June next, at the hour of twelve o'clock, where they will hear of some thing to their advantage. "Reuben Levi." Well, sure enough, they were all there in wondering expectation. There was a tradition amongst the youngsters of the family about Abraham Scrimble.

He had quarrelled with his father, and gone off, no one ever knew where, till the advertisement at once in formed them of his death, and the place where he had resided. The clock of St. Paul's had scarcely struck twelve, when Mr. Levi, accompanied by another gen tleman, entered the apartment where the Scrimbles were congregated. "The next of kin of Mr. Abraham Scrimble, I pre sume ?" said the man of law, making an œcumenical bow to the assembled Scrimbles. . "Yes, yes," was the response from a dozen voices, or thereabouts. "Bless me," said the lawyer, "what a fortunate man Mr. Scrimble was to have so many next of kin 1" "Well, I don't know, I'm sure," said the other gen tleman, drily, "but we shall see. Pray proceed to business, Mr. Levi." " Gentlemen and ladies," said that gentleman, exa mining a paper, "I find that the late Mr. Abraham ABRAHAM SCRLMBLE'S WILL. 3 Scrimble had, when he left this country, two sisters and one brother."

" So he had," said one of the company ; " there was his brother Ebenezer, my father — he is dead, and left five of us ;" and with a sweep of his hand the speaker indicated his two brothers and two sisters. "Very good," said the man of law; "you are, then, next of kin in the fourth degree. Well, then, Kezia was the name of one of his sisters, wasn't it ?" " Oh, yes ; Kezia was his eldest sister." " Is she living or dead ?" " Dead as a door nail." "Good, again," said Mr. Levi. " Did she leave any issue ?" " I should hope not," was the reply, " seeing that she was never married ; and, up to the last hour of her life — and she lived to be over seventy — she maintained the reputation of being an immaculate old maid." "In that case, sir," said Mr. Levi, turning to the other gentleman, "Aunt Kezia is clean out of the way — an unfruitful branch in the family tree.

We will write her down as Ob. S. P." "And what may that mean ?" asked one of the next of kin. "Oh, that's a short way we have of stating that she died without issue." B "If that's all, you may write it down with a safe conscience. And Mr. Levi accordingly jotted down the letters Ob. S. P. after Aunt Kezia's name. " Now, what about the other sister ?" " That was my mother, Dorcas," said another member of the family ; " she married her own cousin-ger man." "Just so," said Mr. Levi ; "I have it all here." " Have you ?" said the other. " Well, then, maybe you have something about me there, too ?" " Maybe I have. Who are you ?" " I'm the consequence of that auspicious union — Jacob Scrimble, at your service." " And your father and mother ?" " Dead these fifteen years." ' Your brothers and sisters, are they alive ?' 'No." ' Dead, too ?' " No. They ain't dead, because they never were alive ; and they ain't alive, because they never were born — I was an only child."

"Ah! I understand: well, you are another next of kin in the fourth degree." " I'm a cousin-german of old Abraham," said a little man, of about fifty years of age ; "I'm a son of his ABRAHAM SCRLMBLE'S WLLL. 5 uncle Amos, and the rest of his children died very young." "Then," replied the man of law, "you are also re lated to the deceased in the fourth degree. And now as to all the rest ?" "Oh, they're distant relations — fortieth cousins, as the saying is, and have just come to keep us com pany." The investigation of kindred having been thus con cluded, the other gentleman advanced to the table, and taking from the breast-pocket of his coat a packet, he opened it with great formality, and thus addressed the company : — " Ladies and gentlemen of the Scrimble family, I hold in my hand the last will and testament of my de ceased friend, the late Abraham Scrimble.

He died some three months since in the town of Cincinnati, full of years, and not empty of cash. As one of his ex ecutors, I shall now read you the part of his will which concerns you. 'Item — As it was the will of God that I should quarrel with my father, and leave my native land before my brothers and sisters were grown up to quarrel with, and having no issue of my own to leave my money to, and not knowing what relatives I have in England, I bequeath the sum of five thousand dollars to whichever of my next of kin shall first attain the age of twenty-one years after my decease, and make proof of his having attained his majority, before either of my executors, or the proper authority of the place where he shall be resident at the time. And the residue of my worldly goods and substance I leave as follows.' But that does not concern the present company," said Mr. Hucklebones, refolding the paper, and redeposit ing it in his pocket.

"And now, Mr. Levi, be so good, pray, as to inform us who is to get the five thousand dollars ?" " Why, Mr. Hucklebones, here are the next of kin — Ebenezer's five children. Pray, what are your names ?" I'm Esau, the eldest ; then there is What's your age ?" " I'm twenty; and I'll be twenty-one the first day of January next, of all days in the year." "Well, then, we needn't ask anything about your brothers or sisters. Kezia is out of the way, and next comes Mr. Jacob, Dorcas's only child. Pray, what may your age be, Mr. Jacob ?" "The same as cousin Esau's to a day. The brother and sister had a run for it, you see." " Ay, cousin Jacob, but you know I was born three hours before you." "That's no matter," said Mr. Levi, "'de minimis non curat lex ;' the law takes no account of such trifles as a few hours.

You will both be of age the same mo ment — the very instant after the clock strikes twelve at night on the 31st of December next." "This is a very strange case," said Mr. Huckle bones ; " it strikes me that neither of these young gentlemen will be entitled to the legacy, or that they should divide it." " They cannot divide it," said the lawyer. Two wo men sometimes may make one heir, being, I suppose, considered as equal only to one man ; but there can no more be two males entitled to one property than two suns in the heavens, Mr. Hucklebones. Therefore I think this is a ' casus omissus ;' and in such case " "In such a case the money comes to me, Gideon Scrimble," said the elderly cousin, "as you say I am also one of the next of kin." "Well, so you are. But when do you expect to at tain your age of twenty-one, Mr. Gideon ?"

"Oh, he's been and done it nigh thirty years ago," said Esau, chuckling. " So much the better — ain't it ?" retorted Gideon. "I've performed the condition beforehand, and am ready to receive the money this instant." " I should rather think, sir," said Mr. Hucklebones, " that you have run a long chalk beyond the winning post, and at the wrong side of it, too'; and before you can get back again, some of these young folks will have come up and won the race." "Just so," said Mr. Levi ; " Mr. Gideon is quite out of the question ; he will never attain the age of twenty one in his present state of existence, and time, Mr. Hucklebones, is ' of the essence of the contract,' as the lawyers say ; and therefore I am disposed to consider this as a case of a lapsed legacy, and the money must sink into the residue, and go to the Cosmopolitan Rag ged College of Cincinnati."

All the next of kin of Abraham Scrimble, deceased, looked dismayed at this announcement. They would have gladly come to any compromise so as to divide the bone amongst them, rather than that it should be picked by a transatlantic academy of half-naked Yan kee boys. At last Jacob said — " The money is to be given to the person who shall first reach twenty-one — ain't it ?" " Yes, just so." " Well, then, we must all wait awhile. Who can tell which of us will be first of age ; I may die, or Esau, or both, and then one of the others would step into our places." " Upon my word, that's very true. Mr. Hucklebones, we were overlooking that fact altogether." " I think so," said the executor ; " we are all premaq ture. I therefore propose that we all assemble here half-an-hour before midnight on the last day of the year, and we shall then be in a condition to decide who shall be entitled to the legacy.

Are you agreed, ladies and gentlemen ?" A general assent was given, whereupon Mr. Huckle bones bowed himself out of the room, and Mr. Levi bowed out all the next of kin of Abraham Scrimble, late of Cincinnati, in the State of Ohio, deceased.

Chapter II. How Esau Scrimble Took Time By The Forelock

The great clock of St. Paul's had pealed out the half-hour before midnight upon the last day of De cember, 1853, when Mr. Reuben Levi again entered his chambers in Old Jewry, accompanied as before by Mr. Hucklebones, the executor of the late Mr. Abra ham Scrimble, of Cincinnati. " Happy to see you all, ladies and gentlemen," said the man of law. "All alive and well, I see," said Mr. Hucklebones. "Ah, Mr. Esau, I see you are not likely to die before you come of age, and so give either of your pretty sis ters there a chance. Mr. Gideon, your humble servant ; have you made much lee-way against the stream of time since last I had the pleasure of seeing you ? How much under fifty may you be by this ?" Gideon was about to return a snappish reply to this mauvaise plaisantrie, when Mr. Hucklebones suddenly exclaimed — ■ "Bless my soul, where is Mr. Jacob; nothing has happened to him, I hope ?"

"Well, I don't know," said Esau; "he suddenly dis appeared about a fortnight ago, at which time he was in excellent health and spirits ; but none of us have since heard or seen anything of him." "How strange!" said Mr. Levi. "Did you adver tise for him in the public papers ?" "Why, no," said Esau; "we had no particular interest in bringing him here to-night, you know ; but we drained out the fish-pond at Scrimbleton, and had the river dragged, but he didn't turn up in either." "Very strange, indeed, and I must say very myste rious, too !" said the man of law, with a lowering coun tenance. "Ah, poor fellow!" said Mr. Hucklebones, "do you remember the observation which he made when we were all here last summer — ' I may die, or Esau,' said he. 'Tis very strange, indeed — very strange ; I hope his words may not turn out true as to himself."

"Well," said Mr. Levi, "now to business, as time is precious. Since our last meeting I have made all ne cessary searches, and find the pedigree of the family has been stated correctly. It seems to me, therefore, that the only person who will be in a condition to claim this legacy is Mr. Esau Scrimble, supposing that anything has happened to his cousin Jacob, which I confess I have much reason, from the peculiar circum stances of the case, to fear ;" and again the lawyer looked loweringly at Esau. " Are you prepared, sir, to prove, by a certificate attested by the proper autho rity — I mean when the time comes — your age of twenty-one ?" " Certainly, sir. Here is a copy of the registry of my birth, and it is duly certified and signed by the rector of the parish, and by Squire Bolderly, the nearest justice of the peace.

Be so good as to see that it is all right." " Put up the paper, put it up, sir, please, for the present," said Mr. Levi coldly, thrusting back the proffered document. "The time is not yet come — many a slip between the cup and the lip, Mr. Esau. Who knows but your poor cousin Jacob may arrive before mid night." " Well, maybe he may, Mr. Levi," replied Isaac, with an incredulous toss of his head ; " I've no doubt he will, if he's anywhere within the British dominions. Jacob was always a wide-awake fellow, and just the man not to neglect the main chance." At this moment there was a loud knock at the door of the outer chamber, that made every one start, and Esau turn pale. Mr. Levi's clerk opened the door, and ushered a man muffled up in a cloak into the inner de partment. The man took off his cloak very delibe rately, and then sat down, after which he took his watch from his fob, and looked at the hour, and said — " 1 1, 43' 22" "May I ask, sir," said Mr. Levi, "your business?"

"Oh," said Mr. Hucklebones, "I'll tell you what brings him here. This is Mr. Pinionwheel, the great chronometrician. You know, Mr. Levi, you said, 'time was of the essence of the contract,' and so I thought it best to have the highest living authority upon that point, and I requested Mr. Pinionwheel to attend here to-night, to keep a sharp look out upon the time." " I can't sufficiently admire your forethought, sir," said the lawyer, with as near an approach to a smile as he ever allowed his features the relaxation of indulging in. " Pray, sit down, Mr. Pinionwheel." That gentleman took his seat, and the next instant the clock of Saint Paul's told the third quarter. ABRAHAM SCRLMBLE'S WLLL. 13 " Right, within three seconds," said Mr. Pinion wheel, again consulting his watch. " While we are waiting, Mr. Hucklebones," said one of the fortieth cousins, " perhaps you will be so kind as to tell us something about our deceased relative.

Did he leave much property ?" " A pretty considerable amount, sir — something over 200,000 dollars." " How much may that be of our money ?" "Well, near^"50,000." " Indeed — and did he leave no bequests to his relatives in general — nothing to buy mourning-rings, you know ?" " Not a cent." "And who gets all these dollars, may I ask, sir ?" "Oh, certainly: he left 1000 dollars to Lilly, and 1000 dollars to Snowball, besides giving each of the girls her freedom — remarkably nice niggers they are — twenty dollars to each slave on the estate, a trifle of 10,000 dollars each to myself and my co-executor, and the residue to the Cosmopolitan Ragged School of Cincinnati." " I suppose, sir, the will is all regular ?" "Well, I'm sure I don't know; but Mr. Levi can answer that question, I suppose." "All right and formal," said the gentleman appealed to.

"The duplicate is in my possession, and may be inspected by any member of the family of Scrimble. Here it is, gentlemen." The lawyer spread the will on the table, and the company amused themselves reading it over, by way of passing the time. It was a hopeless investigation ; there was not a cent, as Mr. Hucklebones said, left to any of the Scrimbles, except the 5000 dollars; and there was not a flaw in the document, not a blot, nor an erasure ; and at the foot was the testator's name, in big, sturdy, independent characters, with a dash at the end, as much as to say, "There's the handwriting of a man of sound and disposing mind, memory, and dis cretion, who knows what he's about, and doesn't care a straw who is pleased or who isn't, by jingo !" And so time sped on, when Mr. Hucklebones, addressing Mr. Pinionwheel, said — " Pray, sir, what may the hour be ?"

"Eleven hours, fifty-eight minutes, forty-three se conds, Greenwich time," said the horologer, oracu larly. "Coming pretty close up to time, Mr. Esau," re marked the executor. " In less than two minutes more, you'll cease to be an infant, sir," added the lawyer, and then " "Rat! tat! tat! tat!! A furious peal at the outer door. The clerk sprang from the high stool in the office, where he had just gone off in a dose, and in one bound he was at the door. A young man rushed in breathless, and then looking at his watch, said — " It just wants one minute yet of twelve o'clock." " Less by two seconds, sir," said Mr. Pinionwheel, authoritatively, after having examined his timekeeper. " Oh ! hang your two seconds !" cried the stranger, impatiently. " Mr. Levi, allow me to introduce myself to you, sir — Mr. Lynxley, sir, at your service — junior partner of the firm of Swift and Lynxley, Clifford's Inn."

" Pray be seated, my dear sir," said Mr. Levi, hand ing his brother chip a chair. " May I ask to what I am indebted for the honour of this visit at such an unsea sonable — at least, such an unbusiness-like hour ? I may say it is now midnight." " And no mistake," added Esau Scrimble ; " for there goes the clock of Saint Paul's." And accordingly the heavy strokes of the hour were pealed out one by one from old Saint Paul's clock tower, falling, as it were, upon the startled ear of the sleeping city, and telling that swarming hive of human beings that they had now entered upon another year of existence.

Chapter III. How Time Left Esau Scrimble In The Lurch

There was a profound silence in the inner chamber of Mr. Reuben Levi during the short space in which Old Time, with his iron tongue, was registering the mo mentous point in his progress which we have just indi cated. When the reverberation of the last clang had died away among the dusty books on the cobwebbed shelves, Esau Scrimble rose up, and stepping forward to the table at which Mr. Hucklebones was sitting, thus addressed the executor : — " I have now, sir, the honour to lay before you the formal proofs of my having at this present moment at tained the age of twenty-one years. Here is a copy taken from the registry kept in the parish church of Scrimbleton-on-the-Hill, duly attested by Parson Smith son and Squire Bolderly. You will see it is quite satis factory." The executor of the will of Abraham Scrimble, de ceased, took the document, and read it over slowly and carefully.

He then handed it to Mr. Levi, who likewise having read it, asked — "Can you prove that these signatures are in the handwriting of the Parson and the Squire ?" "Oh! that's easily done; I can depose to the fact myself, and so can Naomi here, and so can Ruth, and so can Joash, and so can " " That will do— that will do," said Mr. Levi ; " show them the document, please." The paper passed through the hands of all the Scrimbles there assembled, who, with one accord, pronounced the signatures to be genuine. The executor and his legal adviser now consulted together for a moment, and then Mr. Hucklebones said — " The proof seems quite satisfactory, Mr. Esau ; and you would, of course, be entitled to the legacy under my deceased friend's will, if there were any certainty that no other claimant would come forward.

It is however, quite possible that your cousin Jacob may yet make his appearance, and you know that he attained his majority at the same moment as yourself." "Well, and suppose that he did, and suppose that he does turn up, still I am entitled to the legacy as having first made the proper proof of having attained my ma jority. I have taken legal advice upon the words of the will, and am assured that such is their true con struction. Will you be so good, Sir, as to read them ?" Mr. Hucklebones read the words — "I bequeath to c whichever of my next of kin shall first attain the age of twenty-one years, after my decease, and make proof of his having attained his majority, before either of my executors, or the proper authority of the place where he shall be resident at the time." " Well, Mr. Levi, what do you say as to this point of law?"

" Upon my word, Mr. Hucklebones, I think there's something in it, Sir. Pray, Mr. Esau, may I ask whose opinion you have taken ?" "Certainly, Sir; I have taken the opinion of Mr. Beetle, and here it is." " A very sound opinion, Sir, is Mr. Beetle," said the man of law, perusing the paper. " He is certainly quite in favour of your construction of the clause, Mr. Esau. Mr. Lynxley, may I ask you to look at this, and tell me what you think ?" Mr. Lynxley took the case, and, having cast his eye over it, said — " I should not, of course, presume to put my opinion in competition with Mr. Beetle's, under any circumstances ; but I confess I am strongly disposed to think he is right. I have seen a similar opinion of Mr. Perker upon the same point." "Very good," said Esau, "I am quite contented to abide by the opinions of the legal gentlemen here pre- ABRAHAM SCRLMBLE'S WILL. 19 sent, Mr. Hucklebones, and I trust you will be guided by them, too."

Mr. Hucklebones was about to reply, when Mr. Lynx ley interrupted him. " Your pardon, my dear Sir, for a moment. Permit me now to explain to you and Mr. Levi how I happen to be here at what he very properly calls an unseason able hour. I come on behalf of my client, Mr. Jacob Scrimble. May I request, Mr. Hucklebones, that you will have the goodness to look at this document." Mr. Lynxley placed in the hands of the executor a paper which the latter read first to himself, and then aloud : — "This is to certify that Mr. Jacob Scrimble, of Scrimbleton, in the County of Somerset, and Kingdom of England, comes now be fore me, and produces a certain paper writing which is now proved by two faithworthy witnesses here present to be a true copy of the original certificate of the baptism of the said Jacob Scrimble, depo sited in the parish church of Scrimbleton-upon-the-HiH, whereby it appears that the said Jacob Scrimble has now attained his full age of twenty-one years.

Given under my hand and seal of office, this first day of January, 1854, at one minute past twelve o'clock, p. M. Prefect of the Seine, Paris. ' ' Present — " Dickon Grubb, "Dobbin Bumble, " Both of Scrimbleton-on-the-Hill, yeomen." C Mr. Hucklebones laid down the paper, and stared silently at Mr. Levi, and Mr. Levi stared at Mr. Lynx ley. Then everybody stared at Esau, and Esau stared at everybody. At length Esau broke the silence, and exclaimed vehemently — '"Tis a forgery, an impossibility, and as such I de nounce it." " My good Sir, 'tis neither the one nor the other," replied Mr. Lynxley, with a sort of triumphant calm ness. "That it is not a forgery, I will prove to the satisfaction of the gentlemen here when the original certificate shall arrive from Paris by the next mail. Neither is it an impossibility, inasmuch as I received it not ten minutes since at the Electric Telegraph Office."

"Well, and suppose you did," replied Esau; "I in sist the document must have been ante-dated." "Oh, don't imagine it," said Mr. Lynxley, with the same provoking calmness ; " Mr. Jacob has managed matters too well for that. You will find it will turn out accurate to the minute." " Gammon !" said Esau. " Will you tell me that what was written on the ist of January, 1854, in Paris, could reach London on the 31st of December, 1853 -?" "Oh, dear, yes," said Mr. Lynxley. "I'll tell you how 'twas all arranged, for I had the pleasure of leaving everything in train when I left Paris this, or rather ABRAHAM SCRLMBLE'S WILL. 21 yesterday, morning. You are all aware, gentlemen, that there is a difference of ten minutes between Paris and London time." " No !" said Mr. Pinionwheel, emphatically, " 9', 21", 28."

" Oh, bother !" said Mr. Lynxley, impatiently ; " 'tis all the same thing. Well, when the clock at the Tele graph Office in Paris struck twelve on the night of the 31st of December — the certificate was proved before the Prefect of the Seine, who was kind enough to at tend there for the purpose — the message was then despatched on the instant — I had a cab all ready at the Lothbury office of the company, and received the de spatch just in time to reach this before twelve o'clock." "Well, then," said Esau, "even suppose so, I was before Jacob with my proof. His certificate is dated one minute after twelve. I made my proof the moment after the clock struck." "Yes," said Mr. Lynxley, "Jacob's proof was then complete. Are you quite sure you did not take two minutes in making yours ? But he must have been before you, for I had the evidence of it in my pocket here before you produced your certificate."

" If so, then, Jacob was too soon." " No ; you were too late." " Jacob wasn't of age at the time." " Not if he were in London ; but he was in Paris. " We both came of age the same moment." " Pardon me— Jacob went to Paris to be of age be fore you." " Fudge ! Then, at that rate, if I went to Jericho, I should have been of age before him." "Decidedly; but you didn't, you know, and that makes all the difference." Esau was fairly driven into a corner, and didn't know what further to say. Mr. Lynxley turned to the execu tor, and his adviser, and drawing from his pocket-book a paper, he read as follows : — " Gentlemen, in the name of my client, Mr. Jacob Scrimble, I now demand the legacy of 5000 dollars, bequeathed by the will of Abraham Scrimble, deceased, to which he claims to be entitled, under the terms of the said will ; and I hereby caution you against paying the said sum, or any portion thereof, to any other per son or persons, except to the said Jacob Scrimble, or his attorney, lawfully authorised thereto."