Comedy of a Country House

Chapter I

There was no doubt that Lord Hackbut had dined well ; he seemed to show it in every crease of his face and of his clothine,-. He had clean forgotten the threatening gout ; he felt expansive ; he put a great arm on the back of his chair and looked down the table at Sir Villiers Hickory. " Villiers," he said, " this is good wine. It is too good for these boys." " It belongs to one of them," said Sir Villiers, drily. " So it does, by George ! " said Lord Hack but, gazing upon Archie ; " what luck the boy has ! To be young and to have such VOL. II. B wine to drink ; to be young and to have as many horses as he wants ; and coverts too, where foxes and pheasants breed peacefully side by side, begad ! as in the Golden Age. Lorrilaire, I drink your health ! I had nearly advised you to leave politics to Palfrey, and to breed horses- — not to eat, Mr. Peek."

He displayed the broken tooth in a grin of contentment. " Beck," murmured Beck, mildly persistent. Archie laughed, but felt uncomfortable ; he did not like to be the topic of conversa tion. " He has got the best house in the county," continued Lord Hackbut, " and the best stables and the best gardens, and — and the best cook, and " " The best cream," said Tony Fothering ham, wagging his head with decision. " The best what ? " cried out the old lord. " Cream," said Tony ; " oh ! it's tremen dously important ; it's so good for the nerves. you know." " Nerves ! " growled Lord Hackbut ; " men don't have nerves." " We've all got 'em," said Tony, " except Archie. Lenny's awfully bad with 'em." " Eh ? what ? " said Leonard Vale, starting at the sound of his name. He had been absorbing claret silently, and thinking of other things.

" Look at that," said Tony, triumphantly. " Good old Lenny ! Did you see him jump ? " " It is a nervous age," said Radley Beck, sententiously. " Were we nervous, Villiers ? " asked Lord Hackbut with a growl of scorn. " These boys are a puny race, and fit to think of nothinobut their digestions." " It is a tremendously important thing to think about," said Tony, with raised eye brows. " We didn't know we had digestions.' " Ah ! we know we've got 'em," said Tony — " at least, I mean we know we haven't got em. " Very neat, Mr. Tony," said Beck, " very neat indeed ! I must make use of that." " You ought to drink," shouted Lord Hackbut, drowning the last words of Mr. Beck ; " drink is what you want. Wine like this would make men of you, if anything could. Everything that's worth anything has gone out with drink.

Statesmanship has gone out with drink. Strip Palfrey, and you will find a blue ribbon on him somewhere." It was now Mr. Palfrey's turn to start. He caught Beck's look of keen inquiry, and shook his head with a smile which seemed to say that everybody made allowances for " dear old Hackbut ! " It was a smile which Mr. Palfrey was obliged to have always ready when he was in the society of " dear old Hackbut." " And as for you boys, by George ! " said Lord Hackbut, " I do believe that you drink nothing but lemon and soda. Your blood is lemon and soda." Mr. Palfrey led the general laughter ; but Archie expostulated. " We ain't so bad as that," he said ; " here's Tony." " Oh, I say, don't set him on me," said Tony. " Tony is as strong as a house," said Archie. " Mr. Tony is very well ribbed up," said Beck, " if I may be allowed the expression."

Tony blushed ; he felt the penetrating eyes of the little sub-editor, and the old lord glower ing upon him with terrific eyebrows. " Doubt less," said the latter grimly, " he is as strong as they build houses nowadays." " Capital ! capital ! " murmured Beck ; " you must let me make use of that." " Then you must pay me for it," said Lord Hackbut, turning upon him, " a penny a line and sixpence for myself." " You would be cheap at the price," chirped Beck with animation. " Or a shilling, because I'm a lord," said Hackbut ; " it's a commercial age. And you ought to drink too, Mr. Sub-editor ; you ought to drink something better than printers'-ink and water. Drink must come in again. Look at these boys ! They are all grudging me my bottle of claret because they want to begin pulling at their rubbishy chopped straw in paper.

Drink, you young dogs, and we'll have another bottle ! That fellow looks as if it would do him good. Here you, Mr. What's-yer-name Vale, fill your glass and drink, as your fathers drank, to Wine and Women." Leonard, who had been taking but little notice of the old lord's talk, smiled responsive at this direct invitation. He put his un opened cigarette-case back into his pocket, and filled his glass again. "Women and Wine ! " he said and drank. " No, no ! " cried out Lord Hackbut ; " Wine and Women ! That is the order of merit — and both between twenty and thirty years old ! " " Lord Hackbut is very shocking, Mr. Palfrey," said Beck, smiling sweetly across the table ; " it is lucky that we know our age, and know it to be one of progressive temper ance. After all, it is an age of progress." " An age of humbug !

" shouted Lord Hackbut; "we are living in an age of decadence, I tell you ; and we pretend not to know it. There's not a feature wanting, though I can't mention the worst of 'em. We are all Romans of the worst period, given up to luxury and effeminacy, and caring for nothing but money. Courage is so out of fashion that we boast of cowardice. We care no more for beauty in art, but only for a brutal realism. Sport has lost its manliness, and is a matter of pigeons from a trap, or a mountain of crushed pheasants to sell to your own tradesman. Religion is coming down to jugglers, and table-turnings and philander ing with religions brought, like the rites of Isis, from the East ; and as for patriotism, it is turned on, by George ! like beer, at election times, or worked like a mechanical doll by wire-pullers !

What is our foreign policy except to sit trembling and trying to think we aren't afraid of the irruption of barbarians from the North ? I tell you it is an age of humbug and long-winded talk. Why, if we were not in the plain decadence, Palfrey would be leading a colony to West Australia, instead of sitting here with an undigested speech in his stomach. There is not an ounce of manliness in the country ; and as for the women " Here he paused, and only Tony was heard murmuring, almost inaudibly, " Good old Hackbut ! " " Oh," said Mr. Beck sweetly ; " ob, spare the gentle sex ! " " The gentle sex ! " cried out the old lord with his most savage grin. " Nothing draws your gentle sex like a child hanging by its toe-nails to the high trapeze, or the chance of a wounded pigeon in their laps. If there were a Gladiator fight in the Albert Hall next season, and the beaten man went down, the women would be ready with their little thumbs ; they'd want his blood.

Yes, my young friends, you all have the honour of belonging to one of the most corrupt genera tions of the human race. To find your equal one must go back to the worst times of the Roman Empire, and look devilish close then." " I always thought the Romans were a bad lot," said Tony, wagging his head. "And yet," said Mr. Beck, slily, "we have learned something — something since those days." " Yes," growled Lord Hackbut, " the use of dynamite. And now," he continued after a minute, " smoke and be — look at that young Vale there," he cried interrupting himself ; " do you mean to say that he would be possible in any other age ? " The old lord grinned on Lenny, who smiled with out indignation in reply, and lighted his cigarette. " Oh, Lord Hackbut ! " said Mr. Beck, ex postulating. " And you too, Mr. Peek," cried Lord Hackbut, who was running a muck with keen enjoyment, " you would be impossible in any but a corrupt age.

What do you say, Lorrilaire ? I don't know how bad you are ; but you agree with me ? " " Not I," said Archie. " That's flat, any way," said Lord Hackbut, brought to a sudden stand, and grinning not unkindly. " If I thought we were as bad as that," said Mr. Beck, after a pause, " I should not care to live." " There you make another mistake," said Lord Hackbut, turning upon him ; " it's un common amusing to live in an age of de cadence. You see the funniest sights, and you get every conceivable luxury, and you die before the irruption of the barbarians." " But seriously, Lord Hackbut," said Beck sweetly, " don't you think that the De mocracy " " Democracy be damned ! " said Lord Hackbut. After this Lord Hackbut, who had had enough of his wild career, fell into a refresh ing silence ; and presently, as the air was becoming fragrant with the smoke of cigarettes, a footman entered to say that the brougham was at the door.

Radley Beck slipped at once from his chair and looked at his watch. He said good bye to Lord Hackbut with a pressing manner. " I really do wish," he said softly, " that you would write me some letters — proofs of the Decadence, or some such title." " Penny a line are my terms," "grumbled the old lord in answer. "Go home and wind up your Rising Sun, and bring along the Golden Age." Mr. Palfrey got up to say good-bye to the sub-editor ; and Archie went with him to the front-door and insisted on lending him an ulster which was some sizes too big for him. With his foot on the step of the carriage, Beck took Archie's hand and held it a minute, and said with soft insistence, " I shall save you in spite of yourself." " All right ! " said Archie ; and the brougham rolled quickly away. It seemed as if Lord Hackbut had talked too much.

For the rest of that evening he said scarcely an audible word, though an attentive ear might have heard occasional mutterings as of a storm passing away. " What do you have such a friend as that Peek for ? " he asked Archie, as he took his bed-room candle. " Oh, he's not a bad chap," said Archie. " He's a little cad ! " said the old lord. " Oh no ; I don't think so," said Archie. The old lord looked at him again, as if he were surprised at his daring to differ from him. " You have your own opinions, it seems," he said, and went muttering and chuckling up the stairs. On the next morning Archie expected a more serious conversation with Lord Hackbut, and had made up his mind to submit to it with patience and respect ; but, though the old lord stared at him at breakfast, and said something about appealing from Philip drunk to Philip sober, which may have referred to his extravagant talk of the day before, and to a purpose of more temperate discussion, he allowed the hours to pass without a further sign.

Only later in the day, when Archie, roaming aimlessly about his extensive dwell ing-place, which was still so strange to him, wandered into the library, he found Lord Hackbut there with Mr. Palfrey and Sir Villiers Hickory. They were all so much interested in their conversation that they did not notice him for a moment ; and, when they saw him, they all smiled upon him divers smiles, but pursued their subject no further until he left them. And so this Monday passed away unevent ful, a grey doubtful day, and distinguished by a certain dulness which seemed to oppress the whole party, even the young host himself. The novel amusement of abandoning himself to the chances of life was beginning to pall upon him. The desire to will something for himself was stirring again, and made him restless ; and he was annoyed at the same time to find that there was nothing for which he cared enough, on that day at least, to make him purpose the attainment of it.

He was sick of a slight malady of real indifference, which was unlike, and far less pleasant than the letting himself drift with a lively curiosity ; he told himself that he was sick, and hoped that it would pass with the day. And, under all, the boyish vagabond was awake in him again ; and, as he wandered from room to room of his spacious abode, he was bored with heavy curtains and thick noiseless carpets, which seemed the adjuncts to a padded listless life ; and his fancy went a-roving on upland paths, on broad hill-sides', by hanging woods and folded sheep, or tramping on the good high road from country loneliness to the strange city and to the crowded quays whence ships went sailing to every corner of the world. It seemed better to be a gipsy pedlar than the lord of broad acres, to wander at his will than to yield to a round of dull and doubtful duties which others found for him.

However, he must stay and play the host a while, and only his fancy might go roving. The only event of the clay which was worthy of the name was the reappearance of Miss Lock ; and even this excited the most languid interest. Dora Rutherford promptly roused herself to attention ; but, noting with satisfaction the apparent indifference of Archie, she yielded again to the prevailing calm. More than once in the course of the day she felt an inclination to scream, but restrained it ; and, when the society of the other women became intolerable, she shut herself in her room and wrote a long letter to her husband. Then she felt better, and slipped out of the house for a solitary walk, which probably would have restored her to her wonted state had she not encountered at the very door Lady Jane Lock accoutred for her daily constitutional, who annexed her without more ado, and marched her for the due number of miles, talking to her and at her with un flagging resolution.

Dora submitted with a meekness which surprised herself, and made her think that she was going to be ill ; she could find no comfort but in the fact that she had been a good girl and had written a nice letter to her husband. She felt so meek, that she was inclined to let slip the destinies of all young men whose lives she had determined to arrange for them, to return humbly to her home, and to limit her abilities to varying the daily dinners. The world became somewhat gayer at dinner-time, though a short return of gloom was caused by some comments of Lord Hackbut, which were more audible than he knew. Becoming aware of the presence of Elizabeth Lock, he remarked to Mrs. Chauncey that women with daughters to marry were lost to all sense of decency, and a moment later, that he hated a girl in a country house, for it stopped all conversation.

Of those who heard these opinions, the only one who showed no embarrassment was Elizabeth her self. She looked at Lord Hackbut with a slow wonder, in which contempt was hardly indicated ; and she looked so handsome, that the old lord, regarding her with more attention, expressed his approval of her beauty with the same unintentional distinctness with which he had regretted her appearance. It was one of his deaf days, on which he was apt to surprise the world with comments more than usually candid ; but there were some who maintained that this deafness was maliciously assumed. VOL. II. c

Chapter II

The restlessness of young Lord Lorrilaire did not pass with the day. When he had said good night to his latest guest and was alone in his room, he felt hot, and opened his window wide to view the boundless world of out-of-doors. Out-of-doors had a great charm for Archie ; and, as he looked now at the wide country, which lay mystical under a rising moon, his fancy went beyond his own park palings, beyond his farms and fields, out on to the common road which had led so many million feet from marvel to marvel. He thought of the untrodden dazzling tops of the Rocky Mountains, and felt his face tingle with their rarest air ; but even the next parish offered freedom and adventure. Even in the next parish he would be out of the toils which he fancied closingon him. His place seemed a burden, and politics, and marriage.

Surely his boyhood was not ended yet, or need not be. Surely one more spring might set his heart longing for pilgrimage, as men's hearts longed in Chaucer's smokeless England, and he might tread the road with light pockets, and whistle in the presence of the foot-pad. Archie was discontented. He thought of the three gentlemen whom he classed all together as old, and whom he had interrupted in the library. What had they been plotting ? What leading-string had they been making for his wild colt-hood ; he was inclined to kick. And he thought of Lady Jane Lock, too, with a certain indignation. It was not for himself that he was indignant with this admirable woman, but because her determined prosaic image came between him and another. She withered all the poetry which was in him ; she was an embodiment of settlements and things, and of all which the world, that world which to the boy staring at moonlight seemed shallow jabbering and preposterous, said every day of love and marriage.

Some airy hidden fancies of his heart fell dead at the intrusive thought of Lady Jane. Archie felt, instead of the placidity which he had expected to return to him with night, an increase of disquiet. It was as if some sprite had caught him. He was impelled, as it were, to be out and away, if it were only into his own coverts. The old poaching song came unbidden to his lips ; it was a shining night and the season of year ; the idea of poaching in his own wood and the chance of being hunted by his own keeper were almost irresistible. He looked and longed ; but at last he refrained, and closed the window. Perhaps he could not have made this great renunciation, had he not made up his mind that on the next day he would do something. He would be away from his oppressive castle all day long. He would rise early and be off before his guests were stirring.

He would drive himself over to Langstone, catch the early train to London, and have a talk with Tom Rutherford. He had not known Tom Rutherford until he had married Dora ; and yet of all his friends he was the one to whom he turned most readily and with the surest trust when he wanted advice. He wanted advice now ; he did not wish to be swallowed alive ; and even if Rutherford could not help him, a day, a whole blue day, would be his with all its possibilities, and at least sixteen hours in which . he could think for himself. Soothed by this purpose of early flight, he lay warm in bed and promptly fell into a deep and happy sleep. Among other gifts, Archie had that of waking when he meant to wake ; and so, when morning came, he opened his sleepy eyes at the precise hour. He bestirred him self and got the water for his own bath, and he did not ring his bell until he was nearly dressed.

Then he summoned his astonished man, and sent him to order some breakfast for him at once and the dog-cart soon after. When he had breakfasted and was driving himself through the keen air, he felt a great elation ; he was adrift no more ; he felt him self a man with a man's will ; he was bound to will something before night. Nevertheless he certainly had not left his boyhood behind him ; the cart was well hung and the horse a good goer, and, as he sent him along the good smooth road, he felt as happy as a lord. After all he was one. A great surprise awaited him at Langstone. As Archie was driving quickly towards the town, a local bill-sticker was employed in jiasting fine large bills on all vacant hoardings and other suitable places. He, too, had risen early ; and already the waking town was gay with many posters, when Lord Lorrilaire approached its outskirts.

Just where the country faded into the town, the first bill posted on a paling met the driver's eye. The paling was uneven and the bill distorted, but Archie saw the name of Mr. Palfrey, and knew that this was a notice of the coming great Conservative meeting. But the strange thing was that when he had passed this notice by, Archie found that he had an impression of having seen his own name. It was impossible, he thought, and yet he looked with startled curiosity for the next bill. He had not long to w-ait ; here was a hoarding wish half a dozen of them, and half a dozen copies of his own name stared back at young Lord Lorrilaire. He had pulled his horse up short, and sat staring. He could not read it otherwise. It was announced that the Rt. Hon. Mr. Palfrey, M.P., would speak to the assembled Conservatives of Langstone, and in letters almost equally impressive it was asserted that the chair would be taken by Lord Lorrilaire.

Archie burst out laughing. He was by no means pleased, and was surprised by his own laughter ; but it was thus that his thronging emotions expressed themselves ; they exploded in laup-hter. Then he remembered the decorous groom, who was sitting at his back with stiff collar and folded arms, and who only allowed himself to read the bills out of the corner of his eye ; this checked his laughter. He said to himself with decision that this was too bad of his uncle Villiers. He had consented cheerfully to receive Mr. Palfrey as his guest ; but not a word had been said to him about even attending this much-advertised meeting. And here he found himself announced to the universe, or to such part of the universe as it might concern, as chairman, president, patron — ticketed for ever and ever, for it seemed to him to amount to this, as the leading Tory of the countryside.

He glanced forward up the street, which was still almost empty, and saw the bill-sticker moving to a new point of vantage ; he started his horse at the sight, half-meaning at the moment to rob him of his wares, but, when he came to him, and had called him, he did not know what to say. He put down his hand for a bill and read it slowly through ; and when the man looked as if he expected its return, Archie told him curtly who he was, folded the bill and put it in the inner pocket of his great-coat. He felt himself blush, as he named himself, and knew that he blushed for this new publicity, this wide-cast advertisement. He was indignant with those old rogues at home, who had arranged this plan : his hand was on the rein to turn the horse and urge him back with even greater speed, and his lips were beginning to mutter the protest, which he would address to his uncle, and the excuses which he would offer to Mr. Palfrey.

He knew now why Lord Hackbut had postponed his confidential talk with him ; he laughed again at the thought of the wise old Hackbut. His hand was on the rein, but he did not press it. It became clear to him, thinking quick thoughts, that it was more than ever good to hurry up to town and see Tom Rutherford. He thought that he, if any man, could point to the wise course in these strange circumstances. With sudden anxiety he pulled out his watch and looked at it ; he had no time to spare ; the station was at the other end of the town. Ten minutes later he was in the quick morn ing train and speeding to London. It was among the well-known advantages of Langley Castle that it stood at a con venient distance from London, withdrawn in solitary dignity far beyond the circle of suburban villas, but not so far withdrawn, but that certain good trains could do the journey to or from Langstone in little more than an hour. After little more than an hour Archie was in a hansom, and driven rapidly through the streets to the Ruther fords' house.

Chapter III

Tom Rutherford was in his study, but he was neither reading nor writing ; he was thinking of his wife. Thoughts of Dora had been more than usually intrusive ; and at last he had left his table and stood with his back to the fire, frowning a little, condemning himself for weakness, wishingthat his wife would come back to him, determined not to ask her. It was one of his fixed rules not to interfere with his wife's amusements unless he was sure that he had good reason for such inter ference ; it was one of his fixed beliefs that Dora, though she amused herself with the zeal proper to her years, would always amuse herself with discretion. If she was happy at Langley Castle, he would not call her home ; he hardly confessed to himself that he was hurt because she did not come uncalled. He obstinately asserted Dora's right of amusement ; and maintained against himself her natural right of flitting, while he was chained to the desk.

He had fallen headlong into love of this bright creature, in part for her innocent waywardness, her glancing charm ; and he told himself in the plain English with which he always spoke to himself and to others that he would be both brute and fool if he limited her happy liberty without sure cause. Thus the rule of his treatment of her was non-interference. If ever he should feel that interference were right, he would act promptly and with decision ; but there should be no petty meddling with her wishes. And yet he loved her, as a man of strong feelings loves, who has chosen not to fritter his feelings away but to control them. He loved her ; and it hurt him that she had shown no desire yet to come back to him from this holiday visit. When he married, he had pictured her always beside him, the charm and ornament of his industrious life, the Ariel to his toiling; Caliban.

He told himself roundly that he had been a fool not to foresee the truth. To foresee facts a little less incorrectly than other men was the claim which he silently made for himself, the reason which he gave himself for believing that he would be a more trusty guide than some others for his contemporaries. And now in this matter, this most important matter of the companion of his life, he confessed that he had deceived himself, blinded by love like a schoolboy, as he told himself. This was the disappointment of his married life. As he stood with his back to the fire, he was no bad representative of the race. There was a lack of grace ; it was strength and firmness which the face, form, and attitude suggested. He looked strong and well made as the solid old-fashioned furniture, the heavy writing-table and wide book-cases, which he preferred, and as free from useless decorations.

He had the fine fair skin, too, of the typical Englishman ; and he could lead a life mainly sedentary for months at a time without losing his fresh colour. Such men seem to have stored up some impossible supply of healthy air in the days when they excelled on the river or in the football field, and to refresh themselves therewith in the office or the library. Though he was a man of middle age, he showed no trace of time, unless his figure was a little more set and the brown hair a little thinner on the top of his head. His face was ruddy, his eyes clear and blue, and his nose aquiline, broad in the bridge, a little depressed at the point. His square chin had its firmness emphasized by a deep cleft. The first impression which he made was of a man conspicuously clean-looking, and the next was one of jjower.