Tried: a tale

Front matter

TRIED a £ale BY MRS. GEORGE SIMONS " For as gold must be tried by fire, So the heart must be tried by pain." NOTTINGHAM 1884 Printed for thb Authoress (Author's rights reserved) INTRODUCTORY NOTE. One word to you, my readers, to ask you to remember when you are reading the following tale, that is not clever, nor witty, it is not even amusing ; it is the simple story of a girl's life, written as naturally as possible. It is a tale frequently told, yet none the less true, so please accept it as such, and be not disappointed with its simpleness or lack of mirth. AUTHOE S CORRECTIONS Page 11. For now I grudge read how I grudged Page 57. For eyes flash read eyesfeaxted ■ his pastime read this pastimt Page 130. Period (.) to be after Vita Parse la,",. Period (.) r<> be after close i bless your little bright fact Missy. TRIED.

Chapter I

Shall I read this letter or not ? These are the words which keep repeating and repeating themselves to my already weary brain ; for it is weary — weary with thinking of the present — weary with thinking of the future — too weary to recall the past. I daresay my readers will wonder who is this sad individual who has become so thoroughly tired of existence ; and some may picture to themselves an old roue to whom there is nothing new in this world, no excitement to be found on the many race courses of our little island, no excitement worth mentioning to derive from the gambling tables of Monte" Carlo, round which one may see seated the young banking clerk anxiously watching the rattling pea and vainly hoping that his may be the number upon TRIED, which it may rest ; there sits the old man, bald with age, his greedy hand stretched out to scratch in the mass of gold which has fallen to his share ; two lads travelling with their tutor, watching him with eager eyes.

No ! it is no such person, but a young girl surrounded by wealth and luxury, one evidently to be envied, at least so think my friends. Iambutjusteighteen, and feel as though already I must have lived half my life. I fancy I must look harrowed and old to those who judge impartially ; my looking glass alone silently contradicts these unpleasant facts, for I see therein reflected a small oval face, surrounded by curls of dusky brown hair, and a pair of eyes that really do look a little sad, although they do not give the face the wearied look of which the heart at the present time is composed. We live in the country, and in the lovely old house I will partly describe to my readers ; my father has worked his way up the social ladder, and although I am rather ashamed of owning it, is one of the bump tious cotton lords, whose fortunes have been made in busy Manchester.

TRIED But our house, although the habitation of a parvenu, does not betray its occupier ; it is a real old English home, two storied and similar to the houses we so often see in the South of England surrounded by trees of centuries growth which are yearly occupied by the busy rooks ; its verandah ladened with sweet smelling roses and the beautiful blossoms of the magnolia. It has no pretentions to grandeur, but still the many rooms are large and well lighted and fur nished, not with gaudy mirrors, but with the old oak furniture belonging to some one else's grandfather. I have not yet described my mother and feel almost afraid to do so ; as whatever words I may employ, must fail to tell of her gentleness and goodness. She was the youngest daughter of the impoverished Earl of Beauclere, chosen by my father partly for the title which all risen people long and love to possess.

She was Lady Helen Farrar, and the pet of all who knew her ; the poor almost worshipped her, and always acted upon any advice she might think well to give ; even the very animals — from TRIED. her own favourite horse to the stable cat — watched anxiously for her coveted caress. Such was the woman whom hold John Sum mers came to woo and whom he eventually won ; ever willing to give way to others, ever ready to obey her strict father in all things; after many persuasions and threats of how bad a future lay before the penniless daughter of an Earl, she agreed to accept the risen cotton lord as her betrothed husband ; after a short engage ment they were married, and two years later I was born, causing my father great anger to think that the looked for baby should prove only to be a girl. Years went by, and still I remained the only child at Fernside, and one of the greatest heiresses of the surrounding counties.

My childhood was spent mostly by wandering in the woods and meadows during the summer months, and with skating during the winter when we had any bearable ice ; my chief com panion and sharer of my childish joys and sorrows being a boy who lived close by with his grandfather. His parents had both died when he was a baby, and he had been sent when quite young to the dear old gentleman who had beer. TRIEl). 5 in every sense of the word, both father and mother to the little orphan. An excellent teller of the fairy tales children so dearly love, and at the same time a, most interested sharer in all the various collecting fevers that attack boys' ambi tion as naturally as they must, sometime or other, suffer with the mumps or measles. I was his companion in scrambles after the bird's eggs, in hunting for caterpillars, which are always to be found at the time of their reign scattered over all parts of the house, and the dear old gentleman did not insist on their total destruction, even after having sat on the fattest and most beautiful of the crawling tribe.

Jack Temple was the favourite of all ; his bright open face was made welcome at every house in our village, all the dogs were ready for a romp which they knew he would not fail to have with them on his way to the house of Mr. Webb, the clergyman of our small parish, who educated the sons of the surrounding gentry and prepared them for Oxford and Cambridge as the case might be. But like all boys, he was far from perfect and got into many scrapes through thoughtlessness, and often got a rare TRIED shaking, for running through the standing hay or corn after a butterfly of more than usual beauty, by many of the fat old farmers. • Old Mr. Temple was loved and respected by all, and especially by his old housekeeper, who looked up to him as perfection, and to the young master as one who would prove quite worthy to tread in his grandfather's footsteps.

Now that I have partly introduced you to my dramatis persona), I must ask you to pass over a few years, and then we shall come a little nearer to the time when my story first opens. Jack and I had scarcely been separated for any length of time until at seventeen he left us to begin his College career, and I cannot tell you what a blank seemed to have come over my life, when I with his grandfather went to wave him farewell from the little village station. Jack, although buoyed up by all sorts of am bitious desires for the future, looked very sad as the engine gave the final whistle and bore him away from his two dearest friends. How well he had worked I need hardly say during the past two years, and how with honours TRIED. he had won a scholarship to the delight of his grandfather's old heart.

To-day we are expecting him home for the long vacation ; in two hours he will be here telling us all that has passed during the last few months, although each week has brought me a letter telling of the experiences of each day. I go up the stairs two steps at a time, a peculiar way of mine when feeling particularly happy, and ring my bell with an impatient pull for my maid. Celeste is quite acquainted with my excitement of expectation, and with the usual tact of her country-women, has laid my prettiest gown on the bed. "Come ! you must be quick, Celeste, or I never shall be ready" I exclaim impatiently. At last, Celeste's clever fingers have tied the last string of my pure white dress and given a final twist to the rare old lace round my neck, and after an admiring glance at her own handy work, announces that I am now perfection.

I bid her go ; and then standfor a minute in front of the cheval glass and wonder if Jack TRIED will appreciate the care I have taken to appear lovely in his eyes ; and yet I do not know that I am really in love with this pet of ours, but have always been accustomed to look for his admiration and to think of his pleasure. Along the corridor I run and tap gently at mother's door, for she has one of her bad head aches to-day and is trying to rest it off. Father has been more troublesome than usual ; storming at the servants, bullying mother, and lecturing me ; and yet mother is always sweet tempered ; each harsh word is answered by one doubly gentle, each impatient movement anxiously watched by her loving eyes ; but instead of causing regret, her goodness seems to redouble father's anger ; he storms more than ever, and after shutting the door with undue violence de parts, as he supposes, in righteous wrath to his own especial sanctum where none of us dare in trude.

" Come in, my darling," is mother's answer to my tap for admission, and on entering I see her sitting in her own especial chair by the window which overlooks that part of the garden called " The Wilderness" and on to the distant hills TRIED behind which the sun sets in glorious splendour every night. Mother's little room is like herself, everything seems to harmonize, there is no colour that does not agree with the surrounding shades, even the very light appears gentle and subdued, and a feeling always comes over me when I am here that I am breathing a more refined atmosphere which seems to alter my very being. Here with mother I forget the petty jealousies of every day life, the trifles which make the sum of our happiness ; here I cease to feel indignation against father's tyranny ; in fact, as Jack used to say when we were children "It always seemed Sunday in there."

How many times in after life did I look back with vain longing for one of those hours of rest spent in mother's sanctum. " How nice Celeste has made you look my darling, and how pleased we shall both be to see our favourite ; I am sure the sound of his voice will quite cure my head ache, whichis nearly well." "I hopeitwuT'Ireply, at the same time kissing her dear patient face, and I shall go and wait at the gate mother and bring Jack to you directly he comes. TRIED. It is a glorious afternoon in midsummer, the earth seems laden with all the bright sights and sounds of busy insect life, here are butter flies enjoying their short, bright existence, and there humming over the beds of many coloured flowers are the busy little bees, getting in their store of honey for the coming winter. How slowly the time seems to pass when you are waiting for any one, the minutes seem doubly as long, and yet I never care to do anything even if I could settle down to one occupation, for fear of missing the expected one just as he may come in sight.

After my patience is nearly exhausted, round the corner of the road comes such a tall young man, that cannot be our Jack, for this young fellow is quite six feet ; and yet another look shows that it is he, but oh ! so altered ; his mous tache, about which he has broken the tenth commandment so often, quite hides his upper lip, and the chin looks suspiciously blue. I don't know whether to go and meet him, but during my deliberation Jack has caught sight of me, and after a short run on his part, his arms TRIED 11 are round me, and he kisses me in just the same honest fashion as of old, making my shyness vanish, and setting me wondering how I could ever have felt it. "Well ! Mable, he exclaims," and at the sound of the cheerful voice which is so essentially part and parcel of Jack, my heart begins beating as it has never beaten since we said good-bye and so you did not know me ! well I hope you have not quite forgotten your old play fellow.

"Forgotten you Jack, I do not think you would ask that if you could have felt the fidget I have been in for the last two hours." And so arm in arm we stroll up the old avenue. But we both seem strangely quiet, and somehow all the merry banter I had at my tongue's tip an hour ago has vanished like the wind. At last we come in sight of the house, and mother in the porch ready to welcome her boy ; for Jack is to mother as an adopted son and calls her always "Aunt Helen." " Here's your plague come back, Aunt Helen" heexclaims, "like the proverbial bad penny." "A TRIED penny that is dearer," mother replies, "than any golden coin we may possess, Jack, but stand aside, sir, and let me see how you are looking." There he stands, the veiy picture of a young Englishman ; his bright face aglow with good nature and health, the honest blue eyes looking clear and straight from beneath the arched eye brows, brimming with love and admiration, on the woman who is loved alike by rich, poor, and almost worshipped by the man who has known and loved her since babyhood.

After mother has feasted her eyes sufficiently and is quite sure that her pet is looking as well as he can, we have a stroll round, and every face and every animal seems to try and look his best as Jack approaches. Then I go back with Jack to the Firs where Mr. Temple and I are content to sit and listen quietly to all Jack may have to tell us. Then once more we walk home under the stars, and again we both seem strangely quiet until we reach the avenue gate, where Jack takes both my hands in his and tells me it is indeed good to be with me once more, and that he has TRIED seen no one he thinks half as pretty, although he has looked about well ; for I know, he continues, how conceited you are. Oh ! Jack, I exclaim, I shall be offended if you begin to but he stops the remainder of my speech by pressing his "Good-night" kiss on — I am afraid I must confess — my very willing lips.

Chapter II

So the days pass by, too quickly for me, in boat ing excursions to the old Deepdale Castle, a picturesque ruin overlooking one of England's most lovely rivers, and surrounded by hills and valleys of every description ; here a lovely little dell, there a steep and dangerous crag covered with ling and violet heather, wThile in the distance a lofty hill towers, marked with the wind ing sheep track, the silence broken by the bell of then leader tinkling far away. Matches at lawn tennis at home; gatherings at the vicarage presided over by gentle little Mr. Webb, looking a perfect little doll beside our gigantic Rector, who possesses a heart as large in proportion as his goodly frame ; then we had one dance — quite an event in our remote part of the world — at the Hall, where lived in grandeur and state Lord Elston and his mother.

His lordship, although an aristocrat by birth, was neither a gentleman in manners or feelings ; always dictatorial and overbearing, he took all TRIED 15 the good things of this world as his right and desert ; pompous and exacting, his servants obeyed him as master, but loved him not nor re spected him as friend. His mother, a cold, hard and calculating woman of the world, encouraged him in his overbearing spirit, but loved him as much as she could in her cold and selfish way. It was a county gathering, this ball, one being given twice a year to which we were always asked, but to which I had hitherto not gone, as according to social ideas, I was supposed not to be " out." So, fair reader, perhaps you can imagine the excitement prevalent among us on this glorious evening in mid July, the evening of my first ball.

After undergoing an hour of Celeste's well directed attentions, I stand before my glass to see a girl dressed in virgin white, without one ornament, excepting a single string of pearls of exceeding value round my bare white throat ! a dusky crimson rose is fastened to my band, whilst another nestles among the short curls of my fair bright hair. "You just look splendid, Miss," is Celeste'sout spoken compliment ; but mother, in her own TRIED. sweet way, steps gently forward and presses her lips against my forehead, inwardly breathing I feel sure a prayer for her child's happiness and welfare. Oh ! mother darling, was your prayer answered ? was the fiery trial through which I was destined to pass indeed required to fit me for the better life, to try me as gold must be tried by fire, so that when weighed in the balance I should not be found wanting ?

"Are we to wait here all night?" screams father as only father can scream ; what a time you women take, dressing ! always late and keeping the horses waiting !" At the foot of the stairs stands Jack, holding a magnificent bouquet of roses, twin sisters to those which already adorn my dress. "You'll keep a waltz or two for me to-night, won't you Mable?" "My daughter, (fatherinter rupts), will dance with no one twice, except it be with her host, whom I hope she will treat with great deference. After this speech, we all relapse into silence, and do not speak another word until we enter TRIED the park gates and see the lights of the castle shining in the distance. The door of the hall is opened by two pomp ous looking footmen, and then mother and I go up the stairs to leave our cloaks and take a last lingering look at our toilets.

I go down the stairs and join father and Jack with a certain uneasiness that I cannot under stand and do not at all appreciate, vaguely wondering if any one will dance with me. After having shaken hands with our host and hostess and promised the former a dance, I take Jack's arm and we go together to the ball-room. Although this is my first ball, I can dance well, and am naturally so fond of music that I can move in perfect unison to the exquisite waltz that is being played. Round we go, Jack and I together moving as one body, each answering to the sway of the music, as the wil low bows in perfect grace to the music of the wind. Alas ! it is over too soon for me ; but we wander out on the moonlight terrace. The night is glorious ; together we watch the stars and see the moon rise, as Longfellow so exquisitely describes it — TRIED •• Over the pallid sea and the silvery mist of the meadows, Silently one by one in the infinite meadows of heaven ; Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-menots of the angels."

Surely some of the beauty of the night must have found its way into our hearts, for we are strangely quiet, and forgetful of the next dance wander on until we find ourselves in a bower of honeysuckles and July roses. After sitting in silence for several seconds, I feel Jack's hand steal into mine, and before I know what is happening, his lips are pressed to mine, not with the kiss of the olden day, not with the kiss that he greeted me with at the avenue gate, but with the first kiss of a great and honest love. Although no word has been spoken, and our bower is dimly lighted, we both know and feel that we are more to each other than all the world, that we are ready to battle through life together, each helping to make the other brave. TRIED. 19 "You do love me Mable ? and some day you will be my wife ?"

My only answer is to put my arms round his neck and whisper " Yes." " This is our dance, I believe, Miss Summers V Once more I am brought back to every day life by the grating voice of our host. " Yes I be lieve it is, Lord Elston," I reply. "I have had a fearful hunt for you his lordship continues," and am afraid I interupted an enjoyable tete d tete. " Not in the least " I answer, with rather an un steady voice ; "you must remember that I have not seen Mr. Temple for a year, and as we have been brought up together, I have naturally a great deal to tell and also to hear." Will this dance never come to an end ? how much longer must I listen to his lordship's com pliments and coarse jokes ? It is over at last, and we are resting after our mad careering in easy chairs, our partners fanning us as though it were their one aim in existence.

Where can Jack be ? I wonder ! "Will you allow me to take you down to supper Miss Summers" says Lord Elston, "and I am also TRIED, going to be selfish enough to ask for another dance after supper ? " He takes the first request as a matter of course, as though he were conferring a great honour upon me, and seems to consider the next as his right. What is there about this man that takes all my self reliance away, whose very touch makes me shrink into myself as one does when touching a slimy snail or frog ? Meekly I answer, " yes if it pleases your lordship." Thankfully I hear the band strike up once more, and accept with gratefulness the red sleeved arm of a good-natured captain of the Guards ; even his clever tales of military life do not dis pense a certain presentiment of coming evil that keeps gnawing at my heart.

Jack does not seem at all pleased when he sees me accepting- Lord Elston's arm and joining the others on then way to the supper room. I notice mother is not 'there, but fancy she must have come down with the married people, TRIED, 21 as we are obliged to be divided, the room not being large enough to hold all at one time. "I hope you will allow me to come and join your riding excursions" begs Lord Elston; "and I am really a very decent oar, though of course I should not think of intruding when Mr. Temple is there, but after his return to College I will try and come in a good second." Again I feel the horrible power this man has over me, and once more answer in a shaky voice, "I shall be only too pleased if you will come and join us at any time, we shall always be pleased to see you." " I am glad to hear that, Miss Mable, I was afraid you did not appreciate my kind intentions towards you."

I have been busily engaged peeling an orange, and when I look up I see Jack bending over me, his face so pale, while from his voice all the glad ring has gone. "Mable, my darling" he falters, " your mother has been taken ill and has gone home, where I am to take you at once." I rise as though I am walking in my sleep or am vainly endeavouring to wake from some hor rible nightmare, and feel that it is only a dream. TRIED, Jack leads me from the room, his kind hands wrap me carefully in my cloak so that I may take no harm, and in a few minutes we are whirling on our way home. We neither speak, but I rest my head on Jack's shoulder wondering and vainly hoping against hope. I seem to feel that mother must leave us, that soon our home will be visited by that royal guest, the King of Terrors, that I shall be left alone ; a young girl to battle with life as best I may, with no kind word to help me to choose the better part.

Oh ! mother darling ! how lonely and empty life will be without you. Jack utters not a word, but gently touches my cold forehead with his lips, a sympathy that finds echo in my heart far more readily than all the words of condolence he could think of. We are home at last — how still the house seems ! I quickly change my gown that I put on with such pride and pleasure a few hours ago for a soft wrapper, and then go to mother's room. Even in this short time how changed she has become ; the doctor has just told my father that she may live until morning but he thinks she will leave us before then. TRIED 23 The verdict has gone forth that one more of God's earthly flowers is to be added to the heavenly bouquet, one more sheaf to be gathered in from the ripening harvest field to help fill to the heavenly garner.

She is to be taken who we can so ill spare ; she who has been for so many years the guardian angel of our home circle, who • has been our friendly peacemaker, the almost-worshipped visitor of all the cottage homes near. How can we spare her, how give her up ? for we know not how many years to be spent here, missing her every hour, longing vainly for her every minute. But this is no earthly decree, the call has come from the " King of Kings," and the royal summons must be obeyed. The doctor says that a spasm of the heart has caused this sudden and fatal illness. I steal gently to her bedside, but fancy she is sleeping, so go softly to the window and draw aside the blind to see that another dawn is breaking in the east ; how strange to think TRIED that at eventide, yes, and before, I shall be motherless. 1 fancy my movement must have aroused her, for I hear my name faintly called, and Tennyson's lines come to my wearied brain, that,: " The voice that now is speaking, this day will be beyond the sun, For ever and for ever with those blessed souls and true."

Yes, mother dear, soon, very soon you will hear your Master, saying " Well done, thou good and faithful servant." I lean over the bed and press my lips against mother's, which are already chilled by the herald of death ; one weary sigh, and she has entered the presence-chamber of her King. Mechanically I ring the bell ; it is quickly answered by mother's faithful servant and my nurse ; one glance at the bed shows her that what we feared has come to pass. She goes to the bed-side, and even in death does not forget that the body lying there was once her mistress ; respectfully she presses her TRIED old lips to the worn hand, and then turns with a weary sigh to summon her master. Three awful days have passed by, and to-morrow, mother is to be carried away from the midst of us, down those stairs which have so often answered to the pressure of her small active feet, away from the porch where she welcomed Jack but a few short weeks ago, down the long avenue she will be borne until she enters the gates of the churchyard, and is laid to rest under the shadows of the old church wherein she loved to worship her Master.

Quietly the tears are stealing down my cheeks as I sit sadly thinking in the little work-room she and I shared. The passion of my grief has subsided, or rather, worn itself out, and the dull heartache and ready tears have taken its place. Gently a hand takes my cold one in his, and I instinctively feel a little braver, knowing that Jack is near. We have not met since the night of the ball ; and again he sympathizes with the sympathy too deep for words ; we sit quite quiet, the ticking of the clock being the only TRIED, interruption to our solitude, and it seems to repeat the same message as the one described by Longfellow—" Forever, never ; never, forever." "My little woman" says Jack softly, "if I could bear your burden, how gladly I would ; it nearly breaks my heart to see you like this !"