A Life's Devotion

Chapter I

Few words passed between father and daughter on their return home. A dark gulf seemed suddenly to have opened out between them. But it was only the gulf of a great and mutually restrained sorrow. He was mourning at having deceived her; she was grieving over her broken faith in this idolised father, ancl also at his having done that which she instinctively felt would never lead to his happiness. ' Bridget, come here, I have something to tell you,' said Shelah, as she wearily laid her head on the pillow that night. While preparing for rest, she had hardly spoken. She was considering how, with least blame to her father, she could announce the miserable news she had to communicate. But perhaps Bridget already knew it, for her eyes VOL. III. B were swollen with weeping, and, flinging her arms round the woman's neck, Shelah whispered, ' Bridget, my father has married Mrs. Brown.' Then the flood-gates of hitherto pent-up sor row were opened, and the girl's tears fell in torrents.

Bridget rejoiced to see them, for her young mistress's hitherto unnatural calm had alarmed the good soul, and, as Shelah laid her head on her motherly bosom, she replied, ' I know it, me darling. God comfort you.' ' And make papa happy,' sobbed Shelah. * And, Bridget, remember we must neither of us say another word against Mrs. Brown now that papa has married her.' Shelah could not yet bring herself to call her father's wife by the title which had belonged to her own mother, now hers by every lawful right. ' You understand, Bridget,' she added, gently, though rebellion reigned strong within her own heart against this usurper of her dead mother's place. ' Yes, honey, I do,' meekly responded the nurse, though she inwardly ejaculated, with in dignation and wrath, ' Oh, Jezabel, Jezabel ! How could he be taken in by you ?' 'My dear father,' continued Shelah, ' says she has been very kind and generous to him and de serves our gratitude.

But I cannot talk any more to-night, dear old Bridget. I am so tired. Please give me my butterfly brooch before you go-' Though astonished at the request, the good Irishwoman brought the trinket without remark. Shelah kissed it and fastened it in her night dress. Poor Pysche ! her wings were drooping, her heart was very sore. She wished to have this token, given by a far-distant friend, near her, in order to retain some certitude that the world was not so hollow, not so topsy-turvy as it had appeared ever since her father's revelation of his marriage. Shelah's was the sweetest, saddest, and most patient of sorrows. But, though Bridget's sympathy for her nursling flowed out in words of tenderest, most loving eloquence, her feelings partook largely of anger and fiery indignation at the widow's triumph.

She was, in fact, in a towering passion, displayed with all the vehemence of her strong, sturdy nature. When Lord Ballina, in guilty, faltering ac cents, apprized her of his marriage, she looked fixedly at him, saying, sternly, ' I hope this marriage will be for your lord ship's happiness, and Miss Shelah's.' - 1 hope to heaven it will be for hers, Bridget, for it is for my daughter's sake, and to prevent the estate being sold, that I have married again.' B If he had anticipated mollifying Bridget by this statement he was mistaken, for she replied, curtly, ' It had better have gone, me lord, as far as Miss Shelah is concerned.' ' You will not always be of this opinion, Brid get. And I trust you will not leave Miss Shelah in consequence of my marriage.' ' Leave me darling !' she exclaimed, hysteric ally. ' Did I not swear on my bended knees to her blessed ladyship that I would never forsake her child until me dying day 1 And, if I did forsake her, what was my prayer ? — that I might die unabsolved, and without the aid of Holy Church !

I have not forgotten that solemn vow, me lord, and never will ;' and, with these words, the indignant woman flung herself out of the room and from her master's presence, in fear of anger and sorrow causing her to fail in respect to his lordship. But now, when she had bid good night to her young mistress, and with all Shelah's unselfish, restrained exhibition of sorrow full in her mem ory, she gave sway to her sentiments of disap proval, exclaiming, as she rocked herself to and fro in her chair, and clapped her hands together in true Irish fashion, ' How could he, how could he have so forgotten her blessed ladyship ? Oh, you Jezabel, you have painted your face and tired yourbould head to some purpose. What will come next V This she soon learned. The following day Shelah quietly informed Bridget that her father was going to Rome for six weeks or more, and that they were to return at once to Ballina. ' And this will be delightful,' she added, ' for we can get everything in order for my father's return.' ' He deserts you, leaves his only child for her !' impetuously exclaimed Bridget. ' Hush, dear Bridget, not another word,' de cisively responded her young mistress. ' My father wished me to accompany him.

But it is best that he and Mrs. Brown should be by them selves at first. And Miss Lawrence, who has been most kind to me, thinks this also. I am not to have a governess, and this I am glad of, until they return home.' Nothing could exceed the love and tender ness Shelah lavished on her father during the next few days. Though her trust in him was cruelly broken, her love, if possible, was still more increased. She knew he was suffer ing acutely at the thought of parting from her, for the first time since his widowhood, for so lengthened a period. And he, believing that her calm, loving demeanour was a proof she was reconciled to his marriage, and had for given not only his having broken the promise he had made of never marrying again, but his having so cruelly deceived her, overwhelmed her with marks of paternal love.

She had in deed forgiven his deception — had accepted his plea that it was for her sake he had taken this step. But reconciled to such a marriage ! that she never would be, for she could never forget the contemptuous manner in which he had in the past so often spoken of her he had made his wife, and, young as she was, she could not help thinking, in her prematurely reflective mind, that no happiness could follow such a marriage as her dear father had so precipitately contracted. ' And is she coming with us to Ireland V asked Bridget. ' If by she you allude to Miss Lawrence, no, Bridget. She prefers remaining at Nice.' ' And a mighty good job too,' thought Bridget, who by no means shared the esteem accorded Adela Lawrence by Shelah. It had been arranged that Lord Ballina should accompany his daughter in a voiturier's carriage as far as Marseilles, where he had left his bride.

The railway was not yet begun between Nice and this seaport. AVhen the moment for their parting arrived, Shelah, who, in her heroic de termination not to grieve her father by any ex cessive demonstration of sorrow, had hardly fathomed what this separation would cost both, clung to him with despairing tenacity as they bade each other farewell. ' Only two short months at the latest, my precious child, and we shall be together again,' he murmured, as, having placed her in the car riage, he folded her in a last embrace. ' Together again, but never as it has been !' thought Shelah, with a dark foreboding of what the future held in store for both ; but she did not give utterance to this sad thought, and a smile rested on her face as long as her father remained in sight, and only when she could no longer see his beloved countenance did she allow the tears to flow unrestrained down her cheeks.

He remained gazing at the train until it had Avholly passed from view, when, blinded with the rising mist in his eyes, ashamed to give way in public to his feelings, he hailed a fiacre, and, springing into it, flung himself back, and gave way to a paroxysm of unrestrained grief, ex claiming, ' Fool, madman that I was ! Now that it is too late, I can see the irretrievable error of which I have been guilty. Helen, Helen ! You can never forgive what I have done.' ' The gods are just, and of our pleasant vices make instruments to plague us.' From the very moment Lord Ballina had left the church door, with his exulting bride hanging on his arm — for had she not for ever dissolved partnership with the odious name of Brown in the vestry of that sacred building which had converted her into Lady Ballina ? — he was a prey to profound regrets and remorse for what he had done and could now never undo.

If this was so on the auspicious day, what was it a week later, when constant association with the late Mrs. Brown had assured him how little she was in any way suited to him ? Handsome — decidedly hand some — he quickly discovered that beneath her flashy, sensuous countenance there dwelt ab solutely nothing. His wife — yes, his wife, for nothing could alter this material fact — was wholly devoid of any intellectual aspirations ; not one noble or refined sentiment had a place in her composition. She was not an uncheerful companion, and she was certainly endowed with a practical, business-like mind, but it was also eminently common-place. She discussed his debts, and the quickest mode of relieving him from them, with an absence of tact and delicacy that made the refined Ballina wince as though she had struck him in the face, while he shrank like a sensitive plant beneath her constant allu sions to her own wealth, which was to free him from the burden of his liabilities and set him straight before the world.

Then he quickly made the unpleasing discovery that, notwithstanding her great personal adoration of himself, she was devoured by ambition and a longing to enter London society, into which the bare idea of returning with a view of introducing her to those who had known his first wife, appeared like a nightmare. Long ere the honeymoon was over, his soul was weary within him at her incessant queries respecting London society and the London season. ' I intend to hold a salon such as the Parisian ladies used to have,' (Lady Ballina had a very hazy idea who these ladies might be), ' and where you, my Jupiter, will be the presiding and ruling spirit,' she observed, triumphantly, a few days after their marriage. ' I have written to my agent to look out for the largest house in the best situation in London that is for sale.' Ballina laughed convulsively.

He had de termined on passing the whole summer in Ire land. But it was too soon yet to display his hand. He must, if he could not be so loving as she had a right to expect in these first clays of matrimony, at least be gracious and complaisant to the wife to whom he was so hatefully and humiliatingly indebted. Had Lord Ballina been suddenly divested of that luxuriant golden beard in which Shelah took such pride, and which in his bride's eyes was one of his most attractive glories, the great weakness of his character would have been obvious in the narrow receding form of his chin. Lady Ballina was uneducated and w-holly devoid of humour, but she had a strong obstinate will, and, asshehad proved, a tenacity of purpose unshake able. And, though Ballina might eventually show his hand, her firmer grasp would ever be the strongest, and keep his under subjection.

Even now, irritated at her husband's absence, which had exceeded the limits prearranged between them, Lady Ballina, as she must henceforth be termed, was fuming and fretting with jealous passion, for she realised, and with perfect truth, that he was detained by a superior affection she could never aspire to weaken. She had written him a letter of adoring, if imperative, command to return to her side, but parental affection had predominated, and her missive re mained unheeded. Indeed, the tardy husband unnecessarily slept a night on the road between Nice and Marseilles, in order to prolong the last hours with his daughter. Some misgivings rose in his mind, as he neared the hotel where he had left his bride, with re spect to the reception she would accord him in consequence of his protracted absence.

And, torn and lacerated as was his whole being by the parting from Shelah, he felt it would be in cumbent on him to disguise these feelings. But Lady Ballina had the wisdom to display no resentment at his prolonged absence, and re ceived him with smiles aud an excess of ten derness with which he could well have dis pensed. Flinging herself into his arms, she exclaimed, ' At last ! at last ! I cannot be jealous, for it is Shelah who has kept you from me. But I must be first now, remember — for 1 am your wife.' At this moment, with those unloved arms clinging round his neck, Lord Ballina loathed himself for the committal of those follies which had landed him in his present hideous position of falseness and humiliation. The next day the newly-married couple started for Rome. As soon as Lord Lillburne had heard of his friend's marriage, it being too late for expostulation or advice, he had simply written him a letter of quiet congratulation, hearing that Shelah was returning to Ire land, had begged she might be allowed to stay at his house on her way through London, where they were detained owing to the illness of Mabel's mother.

Tired, weary in spirit, Shelah drove with Bridget to Lillburne House on their arrival in town. Here she received the warmest of wel comes from both Mabel and Lord Lillburne, especially from the latter, who with the truest and most unobtrusive sympathy seemed to understand all she was suffering. Mabel, with a want of tact arising from want of feeling, was inclined at first to make merry over Lord Ballina's marriage, and after welcoming Shelah observed, ' What a little innocent you must be, Shelah, never to have found out that Mrs. Brown was angling to catch your handsome father.' Then, observing a look of strong disapproval expressed on the girl's sad face at her ill-timed pleas antry, she added, hastily, ' Never mind, dear, stepmothers are not so black as they are painted. And now you will be able to come out with brilliant eclat, for you know she is immensely rich, and will be only too glad to find iu you a legitimate excuse for giving any amount of balls and parties.' I have not the slightest desire to come out in London,' responded Shelah, who hated and despised those riches which she knew had alone tempted her father to marry his present wife. ' But she does, I can tell you.

Why, you sweet simpleton, that is her principal reason for having married your father. He gives her a title, she confers upon him the means of properly upholding it ; a perfectly fair bargain in every way.' ' No, no,' exclaimed Shelah. - Be just. She loves my father. And, if she wishes to come to London, they can leave me in Ireland, where I shall be quite happy.' To demonstrate the veracity of this statement, Shelah burst into tears. She knew every word Lady Lillburne had said was true, but she did not care to acknowledge this, even to herself, and that others should be acquainted with the reasons which had induced her father to marry again was intolerable to Shelah. Lord Lill burne, who had the deepest compassion for the sorrow cast over her young life by the fortuitous circumstances of Lord Ballina's second marriage, was most anxious to retard her journey to Ire land, and warmly invited her to prolong her visit to him.

Captain Thornton used all the eloquence at his command, likewise, to persuade her to remain. But, notwithstanding her father had given her permission to stay with the Lill burnes as long as she cared to do so, no pur suasions were of any avail. Our deepest sorrows are often those we must necessarily bear silently and alone, that we would not, if we could, reveal to any mortal being, because they are caused by those we love, and we would not lower these loved ones in the eyes of others, for any saving of sorrow to ourselves. This was Shelah's case; she had but one desire at present : to behold once again the home of her happy childhood, that she had kept in such vivid remembrance, though so many years had elapsed since she had left it. There alone she could nurse her grief in peace and solitude ; there alone could she find a little happiness while separated from her father.

She also longed to get away from Lady Lillburne's ironical remarks on his marriage, and constant allusions to the gay future this event had opened out for her. Absorbed, however, as she was in her own grief, she noted with innocent pleasure how greatly Lord Lillburne's manner was changed towards his wife, how forbearing and concili atory it was in every way. Of course her deep mourning euforced entire retirement from Loudon gaieties, but he had given Mabel carte blanche, later on, to ask whom she pleased to their northern castle, where they were to retire as soon as Lady Melville's health was re-established. He had extended the same permission to Dick Thornton, giving him full leave to invite any of his men-friends he liked, saying, as he was heir to the property, he wished him to take an interest in it during his own life-time.

In fact, he put the young man in the position of au elder son, for in that light it pleased him to consider Dick, who, immeasurably gratified by the pleasant footing in which he suddenly found himself placed, was more than ever fired with the desire of effecting a complete reconciliation between Lord and Lady Lillburne, without any foresight or passing reflection of the dangerous position which he unhesitatingly accepted. So genuine and strong was the liking which Lord Lillburne had taken for Captain Thornton that he actually became a match-maker, and contemplated the possibility of ultimately bringing about an alliance between Shelah and his heir, and confided this matrimonial scheme to Ma bel with considerable satisfaction, as one most suitable and feasible of accomplishment. She laughed at the new light in which her husband Avas displaying himself, and gave no discourage ment to his idea.

Shelah was too young to interfere with her at present, or for Captain Thornton to fall in love with. She could enjoy his society ancl friendship for some time to come, and it was a friendship in which Mabel found much pleasure and excitement. He w*as a most charming censor of her short-comings. And then her husband liked him quite as much as she did, and it was the first time he had never displayed the remotest jealousy of one who ap preciated her. AVhy should she not have a sympathetic friend as well as other married women1? It was the fashion of the day — a delightful and allowable privilege in the society to which she belonged. If Captain Thornton were to evince too great an admiration for her, it would be very easy to relegate him into his right place. A little innocent flirtation, in the meanwhile, would do him no harm.

From the insight we have of Lady Lillburne's character, we gain the knowledge that she based her future relations with the captain on very different foundations from his. She sought amusement and flirtation, he the promotion of the greater peace and happiness of her married life. The words of the dying have a potency, and carry a weight with them, often denied to speakers iu vigorous health. And the great change in Lord Lillburne's manner towards his wife mainly arose from the effects of a letter Avritten him by Mabel's father when aware he was dying and that there was no hope of his see ing either his daughter or his son-in-law again. Disturbed in his last moments by strong mis giA-ings as to the part he had taken in urging his daughter to make an unloved marriage, fears for her future, knoAving how frivolous and A-ain she was, combined also Avith latent doubts of Lord Lillburne's perfect sanity in conse quence of what Mabel had herself assert ed, Lord Melville had been moA'ed to address his son-in-laAv in words of touching and solemn Avarning in respect of his bearing towards his wife.

He implored him to for get the many and grievous causes of offence he had against her, and by gentler and more considerate conduct and renewed confidence to silence the malign gossip his past excessive if just seA'-erity at her follies had occasioned ; thus to let the world acknoAvledge there had been no cause for the scandal their sudden flight abroad had raised, and Avhich Avas likely to seriously interfere Avith her sister's prospects. Even in the supreme moment of death, Lord VOI-. III. C Melville was not indifferent to the shallow judg ments of this Avorld. But, notwithstanding the world still held its magic power over Lord Mel ville even in his dying moments, his whole letter breathed such touching interest in his daugh ter's welfare that it struck the spring of those softer, but hitherto suppressed feelings in Lord Lillburne's breast, and poAverfully influenced his future demeanour towards his wife, and aided to effect that change in his character which association with his gentle, young friend Shelah had already begun.

Chapter II

It was early in the hopeful season of spring when Shelah returned to the home she had left so many years back ; but not, as then, in a dilapidated, rattling post-chaise, with its ill-fed horses and ragged postillion, for in her absence a great civilising poAver had visited the little village adjoining her father's park, and it now boasted of its own railroad station. Though the announcement of her return had been sudden, great and festive arrangements had been organised to Avelcome this event. She found not only her uncle, Mr. Fitz-Maurice, Avaiting at the station to greet her, but here also were assembled most of her father's tenantry, many of them as ragged as of yore, and some still A-isibly displaying the dire effects of the past famine in their sickly, half-starved countenances. But gratitude for all that a self-sacrificing, noble spirit had done for them during that Avoeful C time which had deprived this beautiful girl returning to her home of a mother's love, and such a mother ! was alive in every breast, com bined with the profoundest pity and sympathy for her ouly child in consequence of this good and gracious lady's place being now filled by a stranger.

Amongst the motley, excited crowd waiting to catch a first glimpse of their returned queen, Mick was foremost, and as she appeared, lean ing on her uncle's arm, Avith a radiant smile on her face, — for at this moment Shelah was happier than she had been since parting from her father, — the fisherman rushed forward, and, flinging himself on his knees before her, kissed her hands, her dress, and would have descended to her feet had she allowed him, as he exclaimed. ' Oh ! but it's the lovely lady ye have groAvn into. So tall aud stately. It's every inch a queen ye are.' Then, flinging his cap into the air, he started to his feet, shouting out, 'Now, boys, three cheers for our queen.' And, giving the initiative, such a shout of rejoicing welcome rose on the air as could only proceed from Hibernian lungs.

As she listened to the enthusiastic greeting of her old friends, the girl's heart SAvelled Avith mingled feelings of joy and soitoav, until it seemed to her as though it would burst. When the cheering finally subsided, she held out her hand to Mick, and, taking his hard, horny palm in hers, said, half-laughing and half-crying, ' Mick, Mick, I can hardly bear it. I am so glad to see you again — to see all the dear people. I have forgot nothing. I have so longed to be back amongst you. And how beautiful all these arches are ! But,' she added, gravely, ' remember, I am a deposed queen noAv.' She pointed as she spoke to one of the leafy decorations on which was blazoned in huge golden letters : ' Greetings to Queen Shelah.' ' You should have kept all these grand arrangements to welcome papa's and — ' she hesitated ; then added, bravely, ' and Lady Ballina's home-coming.' ' We have plenty more welcomes in Avaiting for those who desarves them.

We haven't for got his lordship, God presarve him !' answered Mick, diplomatically. ' But to-day, queen, our hearts are all for you.' As Mr. Fitz-Maurice hurried his niece through the crowd to the carriage waiting to receive her, she kissed her hand and nodded repeat edly to those around. Every now and then singling out some one she recognised, and speaking a few kind words to this lucky individual, who immediately became the envy of the less fortunate. ' Ah, isn't she a purty creature ; and not grown a bit proud ? Jist our own queen with all her purty manners,' said one. ' And isn't she like her dear ladyship, with her sweet smile? May the blessed St. Patrick have ye in his keeping, ye darlin',' observed another. Suddenly a woman, who had evidently arrived late at the station, thrust herself impetuously through the croAvd, screaming out, ' Let me see her, let me lay me eyes once more on her ladyship's choild,' and, flinging her self at Shelah's feet, she wailed out, ' Och, me dar lin' — me beautiful choild.

It was through her angel's koindness to me and mine that you were deprived of a mother's loA*e ancl care. God rest her pure sowl. Ah me ! and it's a stranger takes her place. How will it fare with ye, me poor young lady 1 for step-mothers haA-e stony hearts for the childers of another.' ' Uncle — uncle — I can bear no more,' whispered Shelah. ' Let us get home." She Avas trembling with agitation and excitement, and had turned so Avhite that Mr. Fitz- Maurice hurried her into the carriage as quickly as possible. But her triumphant reception was not yet accomplished, for, while the assembled peasantry again set up a Avild shouting and cheering, the horses were taken from the carriage, and a body of the most stalwart men pro ceeded AA-ith many A-ociferations to drag it rapidly and victoriously homewards.

The park was but a short distance from the station, and so energetic were their moA*ements that the carriage was quickly out of sight. Her mistress having disappeared, Bridget, who had been looking after the luggage, noAv received an ovation on her OAvn account. Mick, in the excitement of the moment, embraced her Avith a resounding smack on both cheeks — a demonstration of welcoming joy she Avas far too happy to resent, though she considered propriety necessitated her saying, ' That he was the same unmannerly cub as he ever was,' and she requested him to keep his distance. ' And it's not a bit changed ye are yerself, Bridget dear, for ye have come back as impolite as ye Avent,' he replied, laughing, ' and hoAv did ye like foreign parts and the foreign gossoons ? Did ye keep them at a coAvld distance too, Mrs. Bridget V he asked, with a wink, as he settled her on the car he was in charge of for the purpose of conveying Shelah's modest baggage up to the big* house. ' I kept meself to meself as far as they were concarned,' she answered, tartly. ' The best of them are no better than hathens.' Then thawing beneath the influence of exuberant joy at finding herself once more on native and con genial soil, she burst into amicable confidence, saying, 'The Avay the lot robbed his lordship, Mick, would have given you the heartache.

And as to their cooking, about Avhich there's so much cry, och ! if ye could see how they mur der the potatoes. But, glory be to the Lord, Ave are back in the blessed, ould counthry again, and it's glad Miss Shelah is to be here. It's nothing but throuble the poor lamb's had since his lordship desarted Ireland.' ' The queen looks loA-ely, but sorrowful-like, Bridget. But tell me, dear, about the new bride. What's she like V ' Like — like Jezabel,' blurted out Bridget, scornfully. ' And who was she, dear Bridget V ' AVell, now, but yer ignorant as iver, Mick,: she replied. ' I can tell you this much, she was no great shakes, and the dogs ' here, suddenly remembering that Shelah had enjoined her to make no disparaging remarks about her father's wife, she broke off short, and said, crossly: ' IYe nothing more to say.