Alexia

Chapter I

jHE last day of the old year was dark and short and gloom y everywhere. A sky covered with thick grey clouds hung low over the fields ; all nature Avas still ; the earth was bound up in a hard black frost ; the air Avas biting and the world seemed dead. And Christmas had been so different, so beautiful, with a clear sun and a blue sky and a soft spring-like air. The hounds had met at the Old Farm on Decem ber 26, and they had found in Briar Coppice, half a mile aAvay, and had had a famous run ALEXIA across country, Alexia Page leading, as her Avay Avas, on the little brown mare that her father had trained for her. And then, in the midst of it all, came the end. Lil, the fault less, the sure-footed, had stumbled into a rabbit-hole, and had throAvn her rider, and drao-fjed her half across the field.

So Alexia was picked up, covered Avith bruises, though no bones Avere broken ; half stunned, but just conscious enough to knoAv Avho carried her home. When they reached the farm she could have looked up to thank him, but she Avould not ; partly, perhaps, because she was ashamed of a certain depth of happiness, which made the bruises nothing ; partly be cause of a vexatious pride caused by circumstances ; she thought her father would thank him quite enough. But it Avas a terrible business after all. To lie in bed for several days, suffering the ALEXIA 3 aches and pains that made themselves felt keenly enough iioav ; to see nobody but her father and the servants, and old Dr. Smith, and Mrs. Dodd, the clergyman's wife, Avho, good woman as she Avas, did not hide the conviction that, it seiwed her right ; to miss hunting days, and uoav skating days, and last night the ball at the Manor, Avhere Charlie Melville, the Squire, the prince of the neighbourhood, would have devoted himself to her in spite of everybody — -it was all too hard.

But the deepest depth of misery had not been reached till this dark afternoon, the day after the ball, the last day of the old year. Her father had helped her downstairs, to the large sofa by the drawing-room fire. A great fire roared up the old-fashioned chim ney, and all day the red light flickered on the Ioav ceiling with its heavy beams and the walls cumbered with quaint pieces of furniture. B ALEXIA Through that long twilight day brass corners went on Hashing, and there Avas a certain A'agueness about the corners of the room, and to any one approaching from outside there Avas a friendly gloAv from the deep oriel window, adding a look of comfort to the beauty of the house. It Avas a beautiful old house, Avith a long red front and tAvo red gables, and a porch projecting in the middle, and a fine gravel sweep approaching it from the high road, the yards and farm-buildings and hay stacks being poked snugly away behind, and entered by a different road altogether.

There lay Alexia in a warm, quiet dream, staring at the sire, protected by a screen from the outer world. She Avas very stiff, and could hardly stand or walk ; she Avas an ill used girl, and could not understand A\diy this Christmas, the Christmas of her life, should have been so utterly spoilt for her. And yet ALEXIA 5 she Avas a most unreasonable little soul, for Charlie Melville had been to the house every day to inquire for her, and deep doAvn in her heart she kneAv that he cared for her. But deeper still there Avas a little bitter something that said, ' Nx>, it won't do. It Avas all very Avell three years ago, and longer ago still, Avhen Charlie Avas a younger son — -a mere sailor-boy ; but iioav that his brother is dead, and he is the Squire, and the Manor and the farm be long to him, is it likely that he will be able to keep absurd old promises — childish pro mises ?

Why, you little fool, he has forgotten them already, though of course he can't help thinking you the prettiest girl in the country. A tenant's daughter, a farmer's daughter, Avho is she, though her mother Avas the Eector's only child, and her father has been to college, and her people have lived at the Old Farm tAvo hundred years, as long as the Melvilles at the ALEXIA Manor?' Then Alexia answered that clever biting voice, and said in her heart, ' Still Charlie loves me— -though of course not half or a quarter as much — but he carried me home, and I know.' But the argument Avas unsatisfactory, as most things are when one is aching all OA'er, and Alexia Avas glad to see Mrs. Dodd, who came tramping in, full of health and virtue, dressed in a plain serge gown, a large cloth jacket, and round black hat ; the very picture of a country rector's Avife visiting her sick parishioners.

Alexia lifted herself up on her sofa ; her pale delicate face and soft dark curly head seemed to look wistfully out of the background of some old picture. She held out a thin little hand, as hot as sire, to be clasped in Mrs. Dodd's knitted glove. ' How kind of you to come out on such ALEXIA 7 a cold day ! ' said Alexia. ' If you wouldn't mind pushing my table one inch aAvay, that little chair Avill just fit in betAveen it and me.' ' Thank you,' said Mrs. Dodd. She looked doubtfully at the table, which had floAvers on it, and scent, and a basket of bonbons, and two or three books and Christmas numbers Avhose character she suspected. 'Thank you, I won't come so near the fire. This room is very hot, do you knoAv, Alice. Have you had the AvindoAv open to-day ? ' ' Before I came down. Dr. Smith says I must be careful about chills,' said Alexia, and her visitor sat doAvn Avhere she pleased, which Avas a long Avay off.

The attitude of Mrs. Dodd's mind tOAvards Alexia Page Av-as one of disapproval. She could not despise the girl, Avhom everybody respected; she could not dislike anyone so ALEXIA 8 pretty, with so much tact, and such nice manners; she was not small-minded enough to envy the height of popularity to which Alexia's generosity, justice, and pleasant Avays had lifted her among the poor. Yet certainly she did not like her. Alexia held a sort of position in the place which Avas entirely her oavii, and Mrs. Dodd failed to see any reason for it. She Avas the old Hector's granddaughter — the old Rector had been a gentleman and a scholar, neither of which Avas Mr. Dodd — but AA-hat did that matter, when her mother had chosen to lower herself by marrying William Page? Mrs. Page had been a A'ery foolish Avrong-minded woman, in Mrs. Dodd's opinion.

She had knoAvn nothing of the management of a farm, and had rather gloried in her ignorance. She had had all Sorts of ridiculous fine-lady ways, such as dining at seA-en o'clock ; latterly she had set up for ALEXIA 9 being an invalid, and had seldom come doAvn before the middle of the day. Mr. Page, poor man, Avas fond of books and fond of horses. He was extravagant ; he was a care less refined sort of man ; it was quite impos sible, according to Mrs. Dodd, that he could make his farm pay. Yet somehoAv these tAvo got on very comfortably : they Avere in love Avith each other to the last ; they had a singular faculty of winning the devotion of their ser\-ants, both in and out of doors ; and Alexia, at a very early age, ruled them, the servants, the horses, the dogs, the farm, Avith an authority founded on reason and indepen dence of character.

Poor Alexia ! She Avas much prettier than her mother, and cleverer than her father, even in his oavii lines of horses and books ; her inborn taste Avas excellent, and she had all the practical good sense on Avhich her ancestors had prospered, Avith a ALEXIA 10 tolerably strong loA-e of the vanities of life as well. Her mother died when she was fourteen, and Mrs. Dodd then tried to take the manage ment of Alexia, but failed. She could only comfort herself by calling the girl Alice, instead of the foolish fanciful name that her mother had given her. She kept up this custom carefully, and thus by a small daily provocation missed any chance she might ever have had of making friends with the girl. Alexia's constant companionship with Charlie Melville, Avhen he Avas at home, had ahvays been an offence and an anxiety to Mrs. Dodd.

She used to wonder that Mrs. Melville did not interfere ; but in those days Mrs. Melville could think of nothing but the looks, the manners, the debts, the scrapes of her eldest son George, avIio had given her every ALEXIA 11 possible trouble that a son could give his mother. He had ended by marrying a third rate actress, and three years ago had died, fortunately leaving no children ; since then his AvidoAv had married again. For a long time Mrs. Melville stayed aAvay from the Manor, but at last she came back, bringing Charlie with her. He had left the Navy, and eA-eryone said he Avas a good felloAv. Not very bright, and easily influenced, like his brother ; but his natural tendency Avas good instead of bad. He Avas affectionate and generous, and, for a young man, unselfish. His mother took a great deal of interest in him now, but she did not loA-e him as she had loved George, Avho had done his best to break her heart.

There was something a little simple, a little stupid, about Charlie ; he A\7as a bear, his mother said, and she Avas very often angry with him. One thing she was ALEXIA 12 resolved upon — that he should marry well ; and the idea of Alexia Page as a daughter-in law had not, of course, even crossed her mind. The ball might have opened her eyes; but Alexia Avas not at the ball. 'Hoav did it o-0 off? Please tell me all about it,' said Alexia to Mrs. Dodd, avIio had been there. ' Oh, very Avell indeed,' said Mrs. Dodd. ' Everybody Avas there, and the rooms looked very handsome. I believe Mrs. Melville Avas quite satisfied ; in fact, she said so. Of course Ave came aAvay early, for I don't like late hours, and I Avould not have gone to a ball anyAvhere else.' ' Were there any pretty dresses ? ' said Alexia, gazing at her with eyes full of sad imagination. ' No doubt you AA'ould have thought them all pretty,' said Mrs. Dodd. ' I don't know.

ALEXIA 13 I am not clever at describing that sort of thing.' ' And everybody Avas there ? ' repeated Alexia, rather vaguely. Mrs. Dodd exerted herself, and gaA'e a long list of names and families ; her bare outline Avas enough for Alexia to make pictures from. She knew them all, at least by sight and by name ; she kneAv who Charlie Avould dance Avith, and Iioav bored he Avould be, and Iioav little he Avould have to say to most of them ; she had a little triumphant suspicion that the evening had been spoilt for him as well as for her. At last, among the various groups, she thought of some people Avho had always been friends of the Meh-illes, and Avhose daughter, a plain girl Avith a good deal of money, had been long ago intended by the respective parents to marry George. ALEXIA 14 ' Were not the Martin Eadcliffes there, Mrs. Dodd ? ' said she. 'Of course; didn't I mention them?' said Mrs. Dodd. ' That was funny, because they Avere much more conspicuous than any body else.

I quite expect — in fact, Mrs. Melville hinted as much — but I Avon't gossip. It is better not to talk about things before they come to pass.' Mrs. Dodd, at the same time, did not mean to stick to this excellent principle. ' A fine lesson for Alice Page,' she thought. ' It is a pity she Avas not there to see for herself.' Alexia herself did not affect any blindness or stupidity on the subject. A slight shiver crept over her, and she turned a little pale, but Mrs. Dodd could not see that in the twilight. 'And did Mr. Melville dance with Miss Radcliffe a great deal ? ' she asked quietly. ALEXIA 15 Mrs. Dodd Avas rather glad to have this opportunity of telling the Avorst. The girl had brought it on herself — she had actually asked for it ; she deserved it, for Avhat business had she to think who the Squire did or did not dance Avith ? ' That is Avhat I meant, of course,' said she. ' Everybody was talking about it.

He danced Avith her over and over again, and hardly spoke to anybody else all the evening. I thought it Avas hardly the thing to be so entirely devoted to one girl, but, of course, as Mrs. Williams said to me, it would be such a good thing, such a desirable thing, such a comfort to Mrs. Melville, such a blessing to the neighbourhood — because, you knoAv, besides other considerations, poor George spent such fabulous sums, and Miss Radcliffe will have an immense fortune, and everybody speaks Avell of her.' ALEXIA 16 'How did she look?' said Alexia meekly, after a moment's pause ; and that Avas the only dart of feminine spite she alloAved herself. It fell short, too. ' Very well,' ansAvered Mrs. Dodd Avith emphasis. ' She Avas most handsomely dressed in yelloAv, with large Avreaths of broAvn leaA-es.

Her figure is improved ; she is certainly slighter than she was, and holds herself better. If she had a clearer complexion, and better teeth, and rather more hair of a more decided colour, and a differently shaped nose, I really think she Avould be a good-looking girl. Many people said so last night.' Alexia gave a little laugh. Hoav Avell she remembered Charlie saying to her, a long time ago, what an aAvful fright Miss Radcliff'e Avas! And then she scolded him, and then he began to talk nonsense, as usual. But a younger son, a midshipman, could afford to ALEXIA 17 talk nonsense ; it Avas very long ago. Now, perhaps, Charlie took different views of things. Mrs. Dodd, no doubt, spoke the truth when she described his devotion to Miss Radcliffe ; Alexia did not think of disbelieving her. Miss Radcliffe Avas a stick, as well as a fright ; there Avere other people at the ball of quite as much distinction ; he must have had some reason for singling her out in such a pointed Avay. 'And if I had been there, I wonder ' thought Alexia, and she smiled.

She felt sore and stiff, somehoAV, but Mrs. Dodd saw no outward sign of this. She went on talking and asking questions in a much more lively manner than before, till at last the Rector's Avife, very Avell satisfied Avith her charitable visit, got up and went away. Then the soreness and stiffness became unbearable, and Alexia hid her face in the cushion, Avith set teeth and clenched hands, C ALEXIA 18 AA-ishing wild Avishes, poor child ; Avondering Iioav she was to bear the bitter pain with which Mrs. Dodd had so lightly threatened her. She thought iioav, forgetting former reasonings, that from the bottom of her heart she had believed in Charlie, and that he Avas going to be false to her. In the darkening afternoon the corners grew more indistinct and the fire flamed up brighter. Alexia lay lighting with herself, pitying and yet half hating herself, for she had as much pride and fine instinct as any Miss Radcliffe in the Avorld. Then the door opened, the maid announced somebody, and Charlie Melville came into the room.

Chapter II

the Squire made his way towards Alexia's corner he stumbled a little among the furniture, for the room Avas dark, and there were a great many small tables and chairs in it. 'I'm very sorry — I can't see,' he said when he reached her at last. By this time she Avas standing up in front of the fire. ' You are downstairs again ; I am so glad. Do you feel all right, really ? ' Alexia told him she Avas perfectly Avell. She took her little hand out of his, for he did not seem inclined to let it go. He stood look ing down into her face, not at all confused or c ALEXIA 20 ashamed of himself, with a gaze which would have startled Miss Radcliffe. A feeling of warmth and happiness stole over Alexia, Avhile Charlie, on the contrary, felt suddenly snubbed and cold. For she did not seem at all glad to see him ; she turned away and sat down on her sofa, where the heaps of rugs and cushions quite forbade any idea of room for him ; and after standing foolishly on the hearthrug for a minute, silenced, he did not knoAv Iioav, he meekly took the small chair that Mrs. Dodd had despised, and, leaning fonvard, stared into the fire for a few seconds before he dared look at Alexia again. ' That Avas a horrid accident,' he said. ' I'm aAvfully glad you have got over it so Avell.

I don't knoAv Avhen I've been so fright ened. Lil made a great fool of herself, and I hope you don't mean to ride her again.' ' Oh, certainly I do,' said Alexia. ' She ALEXIA 21 Avill break her heart if I don't. I only hope I shall not spoil another day's hunting for you.' Mr. Melville did not ansAver for a moment. Then he said gravely, ' You think it Avas spoilt, do you ? ' ' It Avas spoilt for me,' said Alexia heart lessly. ' One of the best runs Ave have had this winter. Oh, Iioav cross and miserable I have been all this time ! ' ' But I suppose you have had lots of people to see you ? Tea-parties without end, in spite of the doctor ? ' suggested Charlie. ' Mrs. Dodd — a host in herself,' said Alexia, and they both laughed. Then they went on talking about the accident, and about hunting, and the skating since Christmas, and Charlie told her Avhat he had been doing every day.

He tried a little to make out that everything had been spoilt by her absence, but this was made a hard ALEXIA task by the sort of cool, friendly indifference that she chose to keep up towards him. It was a pale, cheerful little face that the firelight flickered upon. She grumbled, but in a philosophic way, with a background of hard content. Charlie might look — she felt his eyes upon her, with a strange depth in them quite absent from his words ; she would not look at him, and Charlie Avas aware of this, in spite of his simplicity, and found a little encouragement in it. Alexia frightened him, however ; he Avondered AA-hat Avas the matter ; he felt rather injured, and would have liked to ask straight out what he had done to offend her, but Iioav could one begin to bully a shadow like that ?

If she Avould only have been soft and gentle and sentimental, as an invalid ought to be, Charlie could have done Avhat he longed to do, could have comforted her, could have told her something Avhich he had once thought ALEXIA 23 she would care to hear ; but iioav he really Avas not sure. It Avas \-ery odd, he thought; in all the years he had known Alexia she had never been so hard, so ungracious, had never received him so coldly. She eA-idently meant to sIioav him that his visit Avas no particular pleasure to her. And if she could have guessed the feelings Avith Avhich he came up to the door just iioav ! ' Mrs. Dodd has been here this afternoon, and very amusing,' said Alexia. ' She has been telling me all about the ball.' ' Oh, that beastly ball ! ' muttered Charlie after a moment. ' What ? ' said Alexia, lifting her eyebroAVS with an air of surprise. ' Mrs. Dodd did not think so ; and she did not think that you thought so.

She said it Avas delightful, and splendid, and altogether nice, and that you ' 'What did Mrs. Dodd say about me?' ALEXIA 24 interrupted Charlie. ' Come, iioav ; a woman like that, always preaching, she had no busi ness to be there at all. She only came for gossip and mischief, and you must not believe anything she said about me.' 'It Avas nothing bad,' Alexia Avent on calmly. 'She said you danced all night, and seemed to be enjoying yourself immensely. Why shouldn't I believe that ? I am quite sure it was true.' ' Did she sa}- nothing but that ? Look here : one may dance a great deal, and talk a great deal, and be wishing one's self out of it all the time. I tell you the ball Avas beastly, and I Avas awfully glad Avhen the people went aAvay. Didn't you know I should feel like that, Alexia ?

Tell me.' ' I really can't see into other people's minds. I knoAv / should have enjoyed it,' said Alexia, with a little fatigue in her A-oice. She hardly kneAv Avhat she Avas saying; but as ALEXIA 25 Charlie talked the old conviction came back of her own poAver over him. She knew she might be happy if she liked ; yet she was half afraid, half sad, and she thought that everything had better float on uncertainly a little longer. She looked at him as he sat there, stooping forAvard, playing with his stick ; at that moment he Avas looking at the fire, and his fair bright head and honest face Avere in the full light of it. He Avas so unusually grave and thoughtful that she felt rather nervous, and went on talking hurriedly. ' And are you going to some more balls ? ' she said. ' Didn't you say something about going away ? ' ' Yes, to Lincolnshire.

Skating, and three balls, I belieA-e. I'm going to-morrow, unfor tunately. I wish I could get out of it.' ' How can you be so lazy ! ' said Alexia. People like you are luckier than anyone, and ALEXIA more ungrateful. I wish I had the chance of flying off somewhere for skating and three balls.' ' You wouldn't like it if you Avere me, said Charlie. ' Indeed, I should,' laughed Alexia. 'Well, for some things it's rather good, because I had a row with my mother this morning, and the house Avon't be comfortable till that has blown over. I wouldn't go for any other reason, but I believe it's Avise. One must think of the future. She will have time to come to her senses and understand that I am not — that after all she can't twist me round her little finger and make me do as she likes.' ' She is sure to Avant you to do Avhat is right,' said Alexia. ' No,' said Charlie positively. ' She Avants me to do what's Avrong.

You see, you ALEXIA 27 don't knoAv what you are talking about, Alexia.' ' Very true, but I am safe in standing by Mrs. Melville.' ' If you kneAv what you are saying. said Charlie ; and Avith a sudden, startling re solution he got up, and leaning on the back of his chair bent doAvn tOAvards Alexia. 'Do you know ' he began in a quick Ioav voice, while she shrank back a little into her corner — but then he was interrupted, and all was OA-er. Mr. Page sloAvly turned the handle and Avalked into the room. He saAV Charlie Melville standing with his back to the fire, holding his hat and stick, his visit evidently just at an end. His manner Avas a little flurried ; but Mr. Page did not notice that. Alexia was flushed — no wonder, so near such a blazing fire. ALEXIA 28 It appeared that the Squire was just going away; he could not stay any longer.

He took leave of Alexia, with a murmur of ' Shall see you when I come back,' and Mr. Page went out of the room with him. After he Avas gone Alexia looked at her hand for a moment, and then Avith a sudden foolishness kissed it. Then she drew back the heavy curtain that shaded the end of her sofa, and, hidden herself among the shadoAvs, looked with wistful eyes after Charlie as he Avalked tOAvards the gate. He did not turn or look back, but her father was Avith him, and they seemed to be talking A'ery earnestly. Her father AA-alked on with him, the gate clicked, they Avere lost to sight now behind the ivy Avail, and presently Alexia crept back to her corner and coiled herself up there again, thinking and wondering and Avishing. It was impossible, it Avas unnatural, it could not ALEXIA 29 be, that Charlie should think of her as she thought of him.

The difference Avas tot) great ; something in Charlie Avas ahvays re minding her of that, Avith all his simpleness. And yet, Avhat did he mean just noAV ? As she lay crouched there, half dreaming, with the Aveight of the next feAv days upon her Aveary little soul, her father startled her by coming in rather suddenly. He poked the fire with a good deal of A-iolence, and then stood rubbing his hands, looking at her Avith a curious, excited expression. She pressed her face into the cushion, and wished he Avould go away. ' Alex, are you awake ? ' he said, and she answered rather crossly, feeling as if she could not bear ordinary talk just then. ' Look here, my dear, I don't think this will do, you knoAv,' said William Page. ' What ? ' asked Alexia groaning ALEXIA 30 ' Young Melville says you know all about it, though he had not time to say much this afternoon.

I came in at the Avrong moment, it seems. But he was determined at least to have it out Avith me.' ' Father, what are you talking about ? ' said Alexia, sitting up, and smoothing back her hair. ' What has he been saying to you ? ' ' Of course,' said Mr. Page gravely, ' I always knew that you and he were great allies ; but I did not know that things had come to that pitch, quite. Alex, look here — he says that you promised to marry him years ago.' ' Oh, that Avas nothing,' said Alexia, colour ing crimson. ' That was — oh yes, years ago, Avhen we Avere almost children, and he was nobody. I don't know what he means — why he should mention that at all.' 'Exactly. I told him that Avas no engage- ALEXIA 31 ment ; people are not bound by childish pro mises like that. He understood — he couldn't say they Avere.

But he wants to ha\-e it all renewed now. Hoav do you feel about it ? ' said Mr. Page rather vaguely. He was a shy man, and this seemed a very aAvkAvard subject, even with his daughter. It also struck him as one of the most serious things he had ever had to say to her ; and so no doubt it Avas. He Avas afraid that Alexia might take the decided line of telling him that he had no right to interfere. He thought he had a right. He could not bear to cross his child, or to make her unhappy ; but he saAV great obstacles in the Avay of Charlie Melville's Avish. In fact, with an old-fashioned feudal loyalty in his mind, he did not think his daughter good enough for the Squire ; but he could not exactly tell her that, being gentle and considerate ahvays. ALEXIA 32 For several moments Alexia did not ansAver him.

She Avas perhaps too happy to speak ; yet she could not realise her happiness, which already seemed to have something terrible in it. ' No, it is impossible,' that voice kept on saying in the depths of her heart. She could not be at peace, as another girl might have been, in the knoAvledge that her love Avas her OAvn love after all, no matter Iioav many times he danced with Miss Radcliffe. ' He means it,' she said at last, half under her breath. ' Certainly,' said her father. ' He would hardly have said it to me if he did not mean it. And he seemed to have a sort of assur ance that your ideas Avere the same as his. Perhaps it is not fair for me to ask you ques tions ? ' ' I don't see any good in it, father,' said Alexia, after another pause. ALEXIA 33 'I should be very Avell satisfied if you could tell me that you don't care for the fellow,' said Mr. Page ; but his daughter made no response to this, and presently he AArent on : 1 It seems a queer vieAv for me to take of it, perhaps.