The Other Man and Myself; or, Scenes in the Sunny South, etc

Front matter

Ci)e £>tt)er S®m mn ©paelf : OR, Scenes in the Sunny South. CJ)e ©tl)cr i¥lan ann jffiljwlf : OR, Scenes in the Sunny South. _s\ OLIVER OSBORNE. Illustrations by J. B, Clark. " Youth may have vanish'd and Manhood come round, " Yet how busy we are on ' Tom Tidler's ground ' " Looking for Gold and Silver ! " — Eliza Cook. Vondon : SI3MPKIN, MARSHALL, HAMILTON, KENT & CO., Limited. (ALL RIGHTS RESIWIZIZD.) Veale, Chifferiel & Co , Ltd., Printers, 31 to 37 Cursitor St., London, E.C.

Preface

. FjTp^/ HIS book is not designed to effect any great *) j ft) moral purpose ; to traverse, as " a long- \^f,\ felt want," any untrodden ground in the V^S, literary world ; nor even to trespass upon the special preserves of that literary three-volume genius the " globe trotter " ! The aim of the Author of these pages has merely been to compile briefly, in his spare moments, the unvarnished record of nearly ten years' vicissitudes in some of the southern most territories of the " Dark Continent " — territories which have sprung to the fore with marvellous rapidity within the last few years ; whilst, as a salient feature, an effort has been made to weave into a narrative of personal reminiscences a more or less accurate account of the period and places with which it deals.

PREFACE.

. At the same time, it has been sought, without prejudice to the main facts of the recital, to bear in mind Bacon's words that " that fiction pleaseth most which is the admixture of truth and falsehood"; and although innocent of moral (tho' not of morals, be it hoped), devoid of plot, and, of necessity, bereft of that desirable termination wherein the principal characters enter into the holy bond, and are under stood to live happy ever afterwards — with these shortcomings, but with the cardinal virtue of veracity predominating its pages, it is yet hoped there may be found some merit in " The Other Man and Myself." London, October 1892. %\)t £)tl)er £©an ano £@p0tlf : OR, Scenes in the Sunny South.

Chapter I

Prospects of a City Career —" Somethings " in the City- Home Ties — A Visit to the Palmerston — Cutting the Traces — Preliminary Canters — Relief Expeditioning and its Attractions — Rear Columns and Gas — Bert fails to "fix things up " — i tackle the question — Wet Blankets —We decide for the Cape — Preparations for Departure — Bert's Outfit — Friendly Parcels Delivery Service. IN the early part of the year 1881, Bert and I decided, after much deliberation, to steer for the Cape, and try conclusions there with Dame Fortune. The question of our going abroad, and where we should go to, had gradually expanded from vague and spasmodic little growlings into a mutual de termination to throw up what — to our aspiring young minds — had already, in the four years since we left college together, become an irksome and monotonous existence to us ; a shabby-genteel sort of existence, calling forth the spurious airs and graces of gentlemen upon pittances scarce sufficient to meet the demands of our landlady, to say nothing of our washing bills, which were prodigious and pro portionate to the immaculateness of the linen we were expected to display by our worthy employers.

At that momentous period in our history of which I write, Bert and myself were "some things in the City," — each something with a season-ticket, a black bag, a stove-pipe hat, and an umbrella. We were, in fact, pretty fair samples of that multitude of " City somethings " to be seen more or less any morning stream ing up to the heart of the Great Metropolis from every point of the compass, returning whence they come like a disbanded army at the close of day. Provided that Bert's own vague assurances upon the subject are to be accepted, he had an awful lot to do with shipping ; and judging from the over whelming amount of responsibility which, he said was thrust upon him, I imagine that he must have been Registrar for the Port of London or else a Wreck Commissioner. I rather favour the Wreck Commis sionership.

I was a ledger clerk in a large private banking house in Lombard Street. Phew ! What a life ! It's dull monotony, it's ever lasting routine and petty restrictions, as they rise up before my mind's eye after ten years' absence, cause me to pause and marvel at the apparent apathy with which the toilers of the desk in this New Babylon accept their lot. The struggle for betterment is becoming harder year by year for the average city clerk. His German rival — Bert refuses to accept the word " rival " — is slowly, but surely, cutting the ground from under him, and the day cannot be far distant when some decisive action will have to be taken to stem the tide of foreign invasion which threatens almost to denationalise us, and certainly to become as serious a problem in this country as the influx of Chinese is in the land of our cousin Jonathan.

Neither is the thrifty, plodding, brainsucking Teuton the only danger which menaces the educated English youth who looks intuitively to the pen as his most ready means of gaining a livelihood. Female clerical labour is fast growing into public favour, and it needs no great effort to discern in the near future a far keener and more general competition between the two sexes. With the expansion of our educational system, and the inducement offered to the children of the masses to compete with those of the hitherto more favoured upper and middle classes — and in those walks of life the doors of which are now being opened to them for the first time — it is difficult to forecast what the end will be. Certain it is that parents and their boys would do well to look further afield. Why such a mawkish dread of severing home ties for a time ?

Why that desperate clinging to the land of their birth ? Sentiment is an excellent quality, but it may be carried too far, and especially so when it is permitted to tie one down to a life of impecunious drudgery. Such or similar philosophy pervaded the minds of Bert and myself when we chanced one day, early in June, to be doing the revellous on black coffee and cigarettes in one of the cavernous recesses of the Palmerston, whither we had dived during that all too brief but happy spell known as the luncheon hour. We generally had our mid-day snack together, settling the rendezvous on our way up to town in the morning. Sometimes it was at one place, sometimes at another ; yesterday Pimm's, to-day the Crosby, to morrow Mother Dunn's. We were disgraceful itine rants in this respect, I admit ; but it was the nature of the animals — our natures, I mean ; we each possessed a soul for sampling, and we did it.

But the Palmerston had a particular attraction for us. Bert insists it had several. There was such a cosmopolitan air about the place that to wander around in the bowels of the spacious building, amidst the hubbub of voices, the animated, gesticulating little groups of swarthy Spaniards and dapper Brazilians, who seemed to form the chief element of the motley throng frequenting the great City buffet, was an especially pleasing relaxation for us, and to enjoy which we were prepared to run the risk of being asphyxiated by the tobacco fog which filled the air with the pungent fumes of the so-called aromatic cigarette so dear to the foreigner. From the contemplation of our surroundings, and the enjoyment of my weed, I was rudely awakened by a sudden eruption of Bert, who is highly volcanic at times, though fortunately never dangerous.

" Hang it ! " he burst forth ; " I'm not going to stick at quill-driving 'midst bricks and mortar any longer. I wasn't built for it. I was intended for a soldier, a policeman, an Australian squatter, a Texas cowboy, or something of that sort. Look here, old fellow, let us cut the traces and launch out, eh ? There was such a delightful simplicity in his proposal that I acquiesced at once. " Let us ! " said I, with the desperate earnestness of a kindred spirit. " Well now, that's biz old boy, if you mean it." " Mean it ? Of course I do. Cutting the traces will be easy enough, but how do you propose to launch out ? " " Oh ! leave that to me. I'll fix things up I am Bert's senior by a few years, but not nearly so precocious a youth as he, who was then particularly so for his age, and a big boy into the bargain.

Perhaps this accounts for the belief I had in his superior wisdom and ability to " fix things up." He started " fixing things up " the very next day. He brought home the most unique collection of " Official Government Handbooks," " Instructions to Intending Emigrants," " Guides to the Colonies," and similar interesting and irreproachable literature that I have ever seen. For system and method I never met anyone who equalled Bert. He said the first thing to do was to decide where we should go to, then how we should go there, and finally, what we should do when we were there ; and having decided these little points, we could throw up our billets and bid adieu to friends and Old England until fortune had beamed upon us sufficiently long to make us " warm." Well, the programme appeared to be, like Bert, simplicity itself, but somehow things hung fire a bit.

Bert tackled Canada first, and soon became en thusiastic about its climate, its bracing winters and its mellowing summers, the fertility of Manitoba, the grandeur of the Rockies, and the grazing merits of the North West, until it seemed to me merely waste of time to trouble about the matter further, and that the Dominion was the one and only country we could think of favouring with our presence. However, it was only fair that we should give the other colonies a chance, and see what they had to say for themselves ; so we just dipped into the particulars about Queensland. We found them most interesting. It was just the sort of country we could be of benefit to, and we sat up until the small hours in the morning discussing the beauties of its climate, the possibility of tumbling across a gold mine (or tumbling down one), a Government contract, or even a vacant sheep run, and finally decided that Queensland was far pre ferable to Canada, with its marrow-freezing winters, hot summers, and scalp-hunting redskins.

The following evening we were tempted to inquire into the attractions of other colonies, and our investi gations and vacillations continued for about three weeks. It was a fortunate circumstance that we confined ourselves with patriotic exclusiveness to British colonies and dependencies, otherwise we might still have been at it. At the end of the three weeks we had come to no arrangement or understanding with any colonial Go vernment or their representatives, but we had become walking encyclopædias concerning the several coun tries we had taken in hand, and without the slightest difficulty could be provoked into giving the latest statistics regarding the population of the towns and districts, birth-rate, death-rate, and marriage laws, railway mileage, trade returns, and public debts, to say nothing of little scraps of interest concerning the climate, the physical or political constitution, of any particular country, and the best route to go by.

Our position was getting desperate and critical. We were not large enough to contain all the knowledge we had acquired, and some of it bubbled over of neces sity into the sympathetic ears of our fellow clerks, producing at once an alarming and unexpected effect. It soon became known in our respective offices that we contemplated going abroad, and as the rumour gained strength and currency, so in proportion did the interest in our future welfare manifest itself. Our immediate juniors regarded early advancement for themselves as certain, the possibility of getting friends or relatives into the vacancies was openly discussed, and the great un employed also began to show unmistakable signs of interest in our movements. If we had known as much as we think we do now we should have gone straight off on a glory hunt, in search of the North Pole, or to the rescue of some inoffensive old German savant in the heart of Africa.

But in those days we were only two simple-minded youths, who imagined that we must first be capitalists to undertake such gigantic responsibilities. We didn't know that there were so many people in this country overflowing with desire to lend their names and purses for the construction and mainte nance of advance columns, rear columns, gatlingguns, and such-like paraphernalia necessary for the due civilising and Christianising of the aboriginals of equatorial Africa, or the proper and dignified rescue of any peaceable, but misguided European who might be settled comfortably among them. Even at the time I write about, there surely must have existed some nice old gentleman conveniently planted on the off-side of a primeval forest, collecting ivory. Whether he wanted to come out or not, or went straight back when we had brought him out, wouldn't have mattered very much, so long as we had full license to blackguard him, collect just a little ivory for ourselves, and allowed to retain sole right of giving our own simple account of the transaction.

But perhaps we should have required just a little more cheek than we possessed in '81 ; in fact, I'm conceited enough now to imagine that our extreme modesty at that time would have proved our only fatal shortcoming — we both wanted more of the Yankee "paper man" about us. Au reste, I think we could have managed very well, at least if Bert and I could have agreed who should take on the forest business, and who should remain with the rear-column ; or in other words, if we could have settled to our mutual satisfaction the division of the froth and freedoms, and the trotting out when we returned. I should have gloried in arranging the details of such an expedition. In the first place, I should, of course, have ignored all other routes in favour of the primeval forest one, and have arranged to conveniently lose myself therein for two or three months, which would have produced one of those periodical spasms of suspense and anxiety in England so necessary to pile up the agony.

I should have fixed up, as Bert would say, a little man-hunting, starvation, and shooting, have dragged down to the coast the object of my search, and finally, having thus played Napoleon generally for two or three years, have endeavoured to cram into print within a few weeks a most veracious and elegant account of all I had seen and done in the sole interests of humanity and science. However, I was not destined to acquire greatness and renown by any of Fortune's short cuts, nor, for that, by any more circuitous route. I was fast losing confidence in Bert's ability to " fix things up," and as quickly brought down upon my devoted head that individual's wrath for telling him so. " Confound it ! Why don't you make up your mind then — that is to say, if you've got one ; for I'm inclined to doubt that you have after the exhibition you've made of yourself during the last few weeks.

Of course, I know exactly what / want to do and where / want to go to, but I'll be hanged if you do, unless it's a tour round the world you're after ; and if that's what you are bent on doing you had better start off at once, and I'll wait till you return. Anyhow, you show such barefaced ingratitude for all I have done to assist you to make up what you are pleased to call your mind that I am determined to leave things to you now." I felt hurt, very hurt, at this uncalled-for and violently vulgar, but characteristic attack upon my ability to make up my mind, or, as Bert said, what I was pleased to call my mind ; for, if there is one quality which I flatter myself I possess in a greater degree than any other, it is decisiveness. Bert said he knew exactly what he proposed to do, but, for the life of me, I could not prevail upon him to impart his intentions to me.

His positively indecent haste to thrust the odium of indecision off his own shoulders on to mine, meta phorically speaking, put my back up, and I resolved to set about the business of seeking " pastures new" for our energies abroad, not by rule of thumb, but by the more rational method of seeking out the personal advice and assistance of somebody well acquainted, or connected, with one of Britain's great colonies. It may not be out of place here, perhaps, to refer to the manner in which such personal advice and assistance is too often sought and given. Many young fellows like ourselves, fairly educated, but having neither profession nor trade whereon to rely, have hesitated, if not, indeed, altogether aban doned the idea of leaving England on account of the earnest and frequently well-meant dissuasion exercised by the persons to whom they have appealed.

These persons, as often as not, in their ill-directed zeal for the welfare of those seeking their counsel, have drawn, and, for that matter, are still drawing, grossly exagge rated pictures of the difficulties and hardships which await the ambitious young Englishman abroad ; and to listen to the doleful tale of these pessimists is enough to make the most sanguine and adventurous youngster doubt whether he had after all better essay any attempt to ameliorate his lot by going to a new country, or rather remain where he is — probably only to fare even worse than if he had crossed the seas, and in reality experienced all the difficulties and misfortunes supposed to await him there. Strangely enough, the class of people I have found most prone to apply the wet blanket in this way are well-to-do colonists visiting this country, who not infrequently, and whilst they entertain no suspicion that they may be directly or definitely appealed to, are pleased to edify those with whom they come in contact by giving most glowing descriptions of the particular colony from whence they hail — the climate is perfect, the laws and institutions excellent, the further rapid advancement of the country assured ; and, in fact, they express themselves as pining to return to the Elysium they have left, and weary of the trying and variable climate of England, the social restrictions, and the irksome conventionalities which surround them here.

But woe betide the young man who has the temerity to approach such individuals with the object of gaining their sympathy or help in establishing him self in the country thus eulogised. A metamorphosis takes place immediately, and the erstwhile optimists become extreme pessimists. They beseech the young man to carefully reconsider the step he proposes to take, and strongly — very strongly, indeed — advise him to remain where he is. They hold out no hope — no hope whatever that he will be able to obtain employment in the colony whilst the prevailing depression lasts ; there is, by the way, invariably a depression with these individuals, usually, it may be remarked, for the most part prevalent in themselves. Another class whose efforts are directed towards the same end are those derelicts of Society, who, having utterly failed to do any good for themselves or the reputation of their families in this country, have been either persuaded or coerced into crossing the seas under the delusion that an opportunity will thus be afforded them to mend their ways.

For anyone who has seen the disastrous results attending this casting adrift of useless humanity upon the sea of trouble and degradation which awaits them wherever they go, it is difficult to find words to express the indignation it arouses, or contempt one feels for those mainly responsible, and who, to ensure their own individual peace and comfort, are willing to sacrifice, body and soul, a besotted son, a vicious brother, or a fallen friend, by depriving him of what little home influence or interested sympathy may still be left to him whilst he remains in this country. Stranded upon a distant shore, he quickly goes from bad to worse, and ultimately sinks into an early grave, "unwept, unhonoured, and unsung." Why send such men to the colonies ? It is an in justice to themselves and a curse to the community they are cast among.

And yet I have heard the pitiful careers of such wastrels held up as a warning to respectable young men anxious and able to better themselves in a new country, and even credence given to the fretful wail ings raised by "ne'er-do-wells" at the failures and misfortunes which attended them abroad. To the typical young Englishman who is "cribbed, cabined, and confined," and underpaid in this country, who enjoys good health, has the pluck and desire to break old associations, to try a new sphere, to put his pride in his pocket, and turn his hand to anything which will enable him to rub along, I say : ignore the Job's comforters who would tell you that you cannot even get an honest living abroad, much less improve your position. Depend upon it, if you are made of the right stuff you will pitch on your feet wherever you fall, and although you may not, perhaps, climb the ladder of fame quite so speedily as you anticipated, you will assuredly see something of the world, have a freer existence, greater independence, and an increased con fidence in yourself which it is difficult to attain whilst you stick in your old groove in this country.

But to return to Bert and myself. As I have said, I resolved to see what I could do in the way of obtaining a helping hand out of our difficulty, and I remembered that among the friends I numbered was one who had been several times to the Cape, and had, I was aware, considerable influence in that part of the world. I called upon him the evening after Bert had so unwontedly attacked me. He was good enough to say at once that he would give no advice upon the main question of going abroad, but, what was better, perhaps, promised to give me a letter to an old and valued Africander friend of his in Cape Town if we decided for ourselves to go to the Cape, adding that he considered the climate of South Africa second to none, and the prospects of the country good. I returned to Bert with a light heart, feeling con vinced that we had hit the mark at last, and in an airy sort of way asked him, after the style of an advertising house agent, what he thought of the Cape as a desirable place of residence ; and, as a special inducement for him to entertain a favourable opinion of the expectant colony, I ran off a few of its attractions as related in my old geography book.

But he didn't take on kindly at first. " Oh yes ! Of course I'll go to the Cape. Nice place the Cape — a jolly, delightful place. I can't think how it is Froude and Anthony Trollope didn't settle down there. So refreshing, you know, to have a country all to yourself, and a few Hottentots, with a delightful prospect of sleeping in a blanket up a tree, to say nothing of snakes and malarial fever." " You are a great ignorant ass ! " I exclaimed, in the warmth of my indignation, at the same time discretely placing myself behind the biggest arm-chair in the room. " Thanks awfully," replied Bert, in his coolest and blandest manner, which always exasperates me far more than his volcanic outbursts. " But all the same, my boy," he continued, " I am not going to be such a big one as to go to the Cape.

If I cannot go to a white man's country I prefer to stay where I am at present." There was no help for it. I felt he was too dense to be tackled in any other way, so I came from behind the chair and assumed a persuasive attitude. " Oh ! I am sure, old fellow, we shall fall across a European or two if we move around the country a little ; and even if we don't, why, look how we shall be able to economise. And then there's just a chance that the Africander friend of my friend, you know, may turn out to have a shade of white in him. At any rate, we might give the place a trial." "Well, but what do you think we can do in a country like that, you cuckoo ? " " Why, go sheep farming, ostrich breeding, or diamond digging. There is sure to be plenty of scope for us without taking on desk work, anyhow ; we won't do that at an}' price.

And then, as we gradually develop the country, you might help things along by taking over the Premiership." He was gradually coming round, and smiled graciously at the mention of a Premiership. " Under the circumstances I'll consider it," he said grandiloquently, and the subject dropped until we met at luncheon on the following day, when he con descended to revert to it. " I've been thinking over the Cape business, and have made a few inquiries about the advisability of going there, with a satisfactory result ; therefore I don't mind going with you to South Africa on one under standing", and that is that you take the responsibility so far as concerns yourself, and promise you won't howl at me if things turn out rutty." This was a decided concession to my views, and I accepted it gratefully.

I said I would do or die entirely on my own hook, so long as he would only accompany me and witness the performance. Thus it was settled that we should go to the Cape, and to prevent any possibility of our neglecting to do so we agreed to hand in at once the required notice to our employers, solemnly acquaint our relatives and friends with the decision we had arrived at, and set sail for the promised land as soon as possible. I can never clearly recall the events which took place during that last month we were in England, and immediately prior to our sailing in the early part of July. Confusion in our minds, and chaos in our lodgings reigned supreme. All I can recollect is, that Bert (with his superior wisdom in all things appertaining to shipping) under took to engage our passages, and was entirely suc cessful in securing the two worst berths in the whole ship.

Our luncheon hours, I know, were devoted to the all engrossing business of getting our " kits " together, to the hunting up of people who knew other people somewhere at the Cape, and in discussing the progress we were each making in our respective preparations for departure. For my part, I was pleased to allow the greater portion of my arrangements in the purchasing and packing up line to be attended to by the female branch of my relatives ; and although, of course, they managed to stow away in the three meek looking travelling trunks a sufficient stock of boots, bath towels, breeches, brushes, and bric-a-brac to last an ordinary Christian a lifetime and a half, and fill a decent-sized pantechnicon — still, on the whole, I think the result was more satisfactory than Bert's plan of consulting various colonial outfitters, and getting them to " fix him up."

His outfit, as he called it, was something unique and awe-inspiring in its way, and a casual inspection gave one the idea that the articles comprising it were the belongings of a belted and booted filibuster about to start off on a bloodthirsty marauding expedition. The objects of interest included a Martini-Henry rifle, a double-barrelled shot gun, a Colt's revolver, a cart ridge belt, two pairs of riding breeches, a pair of jack boots, a hunting knife, and a pith helmet that looked, in point of shape, not unlike the top of the Albert Hall. Then, of course, there were other trifles, such as ammunition, pocket flasks and filters, haversacks, knapsacks, pouches, and belts. Altogether it was a most imposing spectacle, and I suggested that he should place it on public view for a day or two, and so raise a little ready cash to buy a few things in the way of ordinary clothing, as there was no know ing how quickly the country might become civilised after we got out there, when a pair of trousers and a shirt or two might come in handy.

He said he meant to be prepared for the worst at any rate, but, as I really thought it was advisable, he would add one or two commonplace things. As the day of sailing drew near, and we were emancipated by our employers, we gave our whole and undivided energies to receiving the final blessings of our friends, many of whom, by the way, brought little (?) parcels with them, when something like this took place, until we got used to it : — " Oh thanks, this is too kind ; really I " " Not at all, old boy. The girls thought you would like to take out something for them to dear old Ted, you know, who is out there. They think he is still in 'Maritzburg or Port Elizabeth, but if he isn't you'll find him in Kimberley most likely, as he thought of going there, he said, in his last letter. At anyrate, you are bound to run across him."