Alice Offley; or, the Pervert and the Soldier. By the author of 'Confessions of a Hypochondriac.'

Front matter

ALICE OFFLEY; 0E, THE PERVERT AND THE SOLDIER BY THE AUTHOR OF " CONFESSIONS OF A HYPOCHONDRIAC" How my heart pours out Its all of thanks to him : O ! how I seem To utter all things in the dear name * * ; While I shall live, so long will I remain The captive of this name ; in it shall bloom My every fortune, every lovely hope. Inextricably, as in 6ome magic ring, In this name hath my destiny charm-bound me ! Schiller. IN TWO VOLS. VOL. I. LONDON: CHARLES J. SKEET, PUBLISHER, 21, KING AVILLIAM STREET, CHARING CROSS. 1852. London : M. S. Myers, Printer, 22, Tavistock Street, Coven t Garden.

Preface

. This book might have been larger ; but if it prove dull, the reader Avill say " It is large enough now, " and even thank his stars that it is as it is. Circumstances, that con strain of necessity, as beauty does admira tion, caused it to be cut down a little. In it the author never designed to indi vidualize, or point at individuals, offensively, in satire, or malice, or charity, or otherwise ; and knovvs none of those whom the cap of

PREFACE.

. this, or that character may be made to fit, Avithout the honourable dexterity of a con juror's fingers. His creatures are those of imagination, thin air, merely; but, the time of action being that of our A\rorthy genera tion, the very attempt to catch. a season on the hop, to depict feelings passing away, changes, prejudices, enthusiasms, dreams, realities — the subjects being what they are ■ — it has been pointed out by a sagacious friend, that this may have led to drawing likenesses. — 'Tis all nonsense, nothing of the kind Avas intended ; nothing could be farther from the author's purpose; Avho believes that such a resort would be extremely disagreeable and unworthy public accord, and also, with the elegant and classic Pelham, " that observation should resemble the Eastern bird, and, while it nourishes itself on a thousand floAvers, never be seen to settle on one." But, an explanation maybe necessary, and

PREFACE.

. III it may be taken, or not, as an apology. This work was written during the rage of the politico-religious excitement of last year, and had it been published then, it would have been only in keeping Avith the high and strong tone of public opinion ; now, we have entered another epoch — the epoch of " pru dence in speech," and "velvet verbal scru pulosity " in writing; for " the Press" has been schooled by " the Commons " for speaking of dishonesty, treachery, tyranny, massacre, in plain words! with too much freedom of denunciation ! As if coals of fire should not be heaped on the head of " the vile " to make him a monument ! Freedom of speech may be a grievous thing. But it is our English habit — a fragment of the Reformation — a legacy of the Great Revolution ! And it is a custom amongst us, " familiar as household words." Albeit, as a guide to its right use, to quote the Times, Nature has implanted

PREFACE.

. in the mind of man genuine and disinterested feelings, which refer all actions to an internal standard utterly independent of success or failure. It is so — a national misfortune! And — so impelled, if the author of this Avork has ever reflected on the true, taking it for the false, on the right, taking it for the Avrong, you must have some Charity, reader — for you are a Christian — you must give him credit for rectitude of intention, and put his errors down to that haziness of the mental eyes, Avhich Pittacus the wise, says is prejudice. Besides, L' ultima che si perde e la speianza.

Chapter I

The whereabouts may as Avell remain a secret, for good quarters are easily dis covered by those who know where to find them, or who deserve; nor will it matter under which of three names the author is presented. Let it suffice that the narrative and the incidents are authentic. On a day famous over England for anti cipations — on the 11th of August — three VOL. I. B gentlemen met at an old mansion, now a farm-house, by assignation. The owner's name, you may be sure, was "Williams ; and he was among the kindest and most hospi table of friends. Partial to a rural residence in a sporting district, he kept rooms in this forefather place for his occasional visits and visitors, and received his friends, Purcell and O'Neal, over his threshold, with the warmest welcome to the Grange. The weather was harvest-like.

A little fatigued by coaching and riding, and scaling ravines, which a handful of men, instructed in the art of war, could defend against a battalion — Ave agreed to retire early, in our mountain snuggery, and at a sober hour the Avhole party were in the land of forgetfulness and dreams. We agreed that a gun should be the signal to rise, and it was fired to awake those who had not heard the cock's crow. When we entered the spacious and wainscotted hall, which was furnished with a dais as well as saltcellars, and in which we ate and drank in the ancient and familiar fashion, a sportsman's breakfast was already set on the table. A sweeter repast never reeked above board in this land of hospitality, milk and honey, which is also famous for cream and cakes. We were going to sit down, but it was found that one of the party was missing.

He was up, but had gone out to sniff the delicious morning air, and take note of the sky. His visit was prolonged, to survey the old house in which he had just enjoyed a night's lodging. The moon was paling, the morning star had gone out, and the sun's promissory streaks were faintly traceable in the east. A brook gurgled over a rocky bed within ten yards of the dilapib dated mansion, adding to the charms of solitude and romance, the solace of liquid music. There is no sound sweeter at dawn, and to an imagination partial to the pic turesque, a favoured scene opened out its riches; Purcell, with the æsthetic eye, lin gered over the traces of ancient art, and the fresh face of abounding nature. The gruff voice of a "marker" sent in pursuit, put a period to his poetising. He was recalled, and came in with a relish, as well as a description of the picture.

Presently, all being satisfied, we set out; the gamekeeper leading the way to the field of war, up narrow gorges, along slippery sheep-Avalks, to the summit of a heath covered table land, on which a lane opened. The low district Avas extensively covered by fog. But Avhile loading our guns, and planning our route, it rose veil-like before the smiling beauty of day ; the unveiling Avas a beautiful sight, and won a momentary look of admiration. As we turned away to our work, the baying of a dog attracted all eyes. He was barking at a woman at the side of a gateway through which we passed to the mountain ; she Avas squatting under the hedge. Her dress was shoAvy and ragged, that of the nomads; her face was young, shaded by exuberant black silky hair, and her eyes Avere gloriously dark and bright.

She had the swarthy symmetrical features of the gipsy, but their attraction was marred by her coarse, soiled, faded gear, her thick high-loAVS, and a short black pipe which defiled her mouth. Williams made some ridiculous remark to her as he passed, and Purcell asked her where she came from. " Does it matter to you ? " she replied, tartly. " You can't tell Avhere you are going ! " " You can fathom fortunes, I dare say ? " said he. " I can tell you this much of yours," she rejoined, holding her voice, and making a circle with her finger. " Before you return to the Grange, you '11 discover I am a canwyll corph (a corpse light) ; you 11 see a corpse ere another moon sets." " You old goose," exclaimed Williams. " Come along " — to Purcell, and away we went; but Williams was affected; he said, " he wished the wretch had not predicted ;" and the keeper, or huntsman, a grey-headed and superstitious man, Avhispered that she might be "the woman sperrit," or "Shewri while;" and to make matters Avorse, related that a crone made the same speech that day ten years, to Captain Winter, who in the after part of the day was killed by the accidental discharge of his OAvn piece.

" How could she know we came from the Grange," said Purcell. " I Avish we had not seen the old witch. How the d — 1 could she know we came from the Grange?" " You tAvo, by my faith, had better not shoot, for fear of shooting yourselves, at all," said O'Neal, laughing heartily. Purcell joined him, while the Welshmen, warmly superstitious, oAvned another influence ; and the mantle of terror hung on one or two minds, like a white mist on a sea bank, till the sunshine of excitement chased it aAvay. However, we went to work on a covey of well-fledged grouse, the birds were "the red," fine, strong, plentiful, and they fell fast. The dogs did their work in a first rate manner, "the markers" theirs, and the sportsmen had nothing to complain of. As noon dreAV near we sat down, by pre-arrangement, under a venerable oak tree — the more precious and attractive, because there was not another vestige of his race for miles ; he grew monarchially by a dimpling brook; there we sat to chaff, and reckon the heads we had bagged, to quiz the luckless, to shelter from the scorch ing sun, to recruit the inner man, Avith esculents and potulents, while the birds watered at the springs, and to wait in siesta-ease for the cooler hours of the afternoon.

A cigar made this Italian lounge on the dry turfy lawn, a luxury. Such episodes are agreeable to the lazy, agreeable as any of life's bright passages. As the day declined, the air became hot, close, and sulphurous. We reckoned upon three score brace before nightfall, so fatally had the birds flown from gun to gun, and should have accomplished this feat, if towards four o'clock, the azure expanse had not singularly changed. The sun Avas eclipsed, yet it was so hot Ave seemed to .be breathing the air over a lava of fire. A few black clouds, not larger than a cotswold fleece, stood out against the hard sky, where it was yet clear, while on the western out lines of the horizon, vast black masses, like threatening battalions, moved on; these Avere varied by coloured streaks of a smoky hue, and white circles, such as attend a thunder storm.

Hoping it would be " no thing," or that it Avould hang off till we were satisfied, we kept on "firing aAvay," when Ave should have followed the example of the sheep, which were gathering, as if driven by a dog, to Avindward shelters. They were impelled by instinct. We were influenced by a voracious selfishness, and pursued our sport till dusk stole suddenly on us, when " we took counsel," and seeing b a storm at hand, earnestly hastened to a small mountain inn, about a mile distant. Preparations had been made to shoot onwards along the ridge of hills, about six miles further, to " a box," where we were to stay for the night, and sport back to the Grange on the following day. Our sport had been in Dominie Sampson's phrase, " prodigious;" but, no matter how fair the beginning, it is well only that ends well.

We walked to the inn (warned by the big rain drops), dogs, men, and ponies. But our humour was not improved by closing the day with a thunder clap and " pot luck " by the road side, instead of a feast Avorthy of a baron, under homely influences. A thunder storm promised to cheat us of " fair company," and a dinner ! It might as well have been an earthquake. Cheated, obstructed — yet there Avas room for congratulation ! For ere it came we were under the tiles. We entered a small tavern at the head of a straggling village, whose orna ments were an old church and homestead ; having read the wretched pictures of the people, presented to us by Commissioner Symonds, we were agreeably disappointed. Our party filled the house, which was old fashioned, with vast walls and huge fire places, and appeared to have consisted of one room on the floor, the upper part of which was raised, dais-like, as if " the beam of the house " had here entertained friends and retainers.

We ascended to the highest part by two steps, and entered upon a small oak floored room, screened off, but without a door. Hungry and fatigued we watched the rain, the lightning, and a rising brook by turns, while the hostess prepared us the best refreshments her larder afforded. It contained enough to satisfy us. Speaking of principals, we were the same number as the prisoners of Chillon, before two of them died : we removed the appen dage of hunger from our catalogue of miseries, while the dogs and attendants luxuriated in the corner of the hearth, or about the kitchen, Avhich was occupied by a solitary, red-faced, sottish-looking fellow, who appeared to be spending his time and money to his heart's content. Our Erinite made some whiskey punch presently, and being supplied with a stock of choice cigars, since there was no prospect of the rain abating for some time, we made ourselves comfortable round a small charcoal fire, and determined to sit out the fury of the storm.

One of the peculiarities of the house in Avhich we were, was an extreme paucity of chairs. The natives appeared to sit on the ground: it contained only two, besides a straw machine, called the great chair, only fit for rheumatic age, or sloth ; a few stools there were, but they Avere miserable tripods. Purcell laid his hands on a tub, and, amidst some laughter, turned it upside down, and settled thereon as contentedly as a Baron on his settle. On this he dined, on this he smoked, and on this he sat and chatted merrily over the news of the day. He was the mirth of the company, being in high spirits. He had the felicity to retail anec dotes and incidents, comic or tragic, with the most pleasing lightness ; and conscious of this gift, he was pressed to indulge it for the gratification of his friends.

He had lately been to the Levant, where he had perhaps taken lessons or studied the art of improvising. A change from parties to persons, led us to converse on the fate of his cousin, who was lately disposed of: she was nearly as luckless and beautiful as Ophelia. We all knew her, more or less, and being a lovely girl, were interested in her fate. We had heard something strange of her ; he volun teered to give us the particulars, the story of her SAveetness and sorroAvs. He was seated on his tub, from which he was pressed to move (it was a brewer's or a washer- Avoman's utensil) ; but he would not leave it, and therefore began his tale — the hopes and good fortunes, the mishaps, the loves, the entombment of that lovely Capulet, while we smoked and drank Glenlivat punch.

Chapter II

" Did you know her well? " said O'Neal. " Did I know her? " repeated Williams. " I have seen her three times. She was the prettiest girl in the county. I would have gone ten miles to see her." " Upon my word you are very flatter ing," said Purcell ; " but your admiration is too late ; Alice is gone." " When I saw her first, I thought I had never seen, with my eyes, a lovelier creature ; sure, not since I met Cathleen O'Grady at Dublin Castle. You should have married her, Purcell." " She was very attractive, and do not fancy that I was insensible to her charms; but I had read Walker on Intermarriage; his cases of insanity, and other ills, filled me with a great antipathy to that kind of thing; and, Avhen I had reconciled all my objections, she was engaged at heart to a young and handsome fellow of her oavii age, who, at last, brought upon her and us a world of unforeseen troubles.

I should not have cared, from the first, to have seen him marry her, but — I must not, noAV I have got over the beginning, go before my story ; on the contrary, it will be as well to begin at the beginning." " You are rather Irish," said O'Neal. " Begin." She was brought up in the customs of the church, and brought out, according to rule, a very accomplished boarding-school Miss at seventeen. Her name Avas Alice, as I think I told you. She was brought out at a party, gathered for the purpose, at Mr. Offley's in B Square. He (my uncle) was a banker, reputed rich, and a person of no ordinary importance Avith some of the leading politicians of the day. He was not proud, but, if one thing more than another could justly make him proud, it was his daughter. She reigned in his heart as its queen, and shared the admira tion of all who knew her.

Her entrance into society was marked by her taking a high position in the hearts and minds of the better class Avith which she mingled : by better class, I do not mean titled im portance, but those Avhose mental calibre makes their opinion the most precious of every species of approval or esteem. Her appearance at this time was highly attractive. I will describe her, though words cannot convey an idea of the suavity and grace of her manners. She wanted height, and was full favoured, but of exquisite gracefulness. Her head and face were beautiful as a classic model, glowing with the healthy bloom of youth and feeling. The tones of her voice were mellowed by the sweetest tenderness of heart, and a lively sympathy in the Avelfare of others, added the charm of loving-kindness to the most fascinating candour.

Her eyes were deeply broAvn, clear as the sea, and more beautiful than the stars of the south. And, on this opening night, the daAvn of her world-life in the field of artifice and con quests, she certainly stood alone, peerless in loveliness, amidst a bevy of young and beautiful girls; not to admire her would have been a proof of no ordinary sensibility! And her mental attractions Avere fine; in fact, her mind made her a divinity to follow or to worship. But chiefest, was her love. It shone in her countenance, and laughed in her eyes, wooing beholders to make that subtle thing their own. And, being inspired by the constancy and sweet virtue, Avhich are the brightest of woman's jewels, you will not wonder that this young and highly-gifted creature won hearts undesignedly, the first night that she mingled in the ranks of fashion.

Rich in the graces of youth, to me she represented love, truth, and hope, the three goddesses, Avhich the gods unrelentingly bow down to, and Avorship. Had her mamma been a clever as well as a very vain Avoman, poor Alice, Avalking upon the threshold of public life, and entering the world's mixed sanctuaries and temples, could not fail to meet with a happy pilgrimage. But alas ! my poor aunt was not of the most amiable temper, nor a pains taking observer of dispositions, nor of the most captivating manners; but she had a mother's fondness for her child, and her intentions Avere ever good, if not Avell ordered to produce happiness. She was given to match-making, and among the brightest of her felicitations, were two or three worldly matches, in the carrying out of which she had been mainly instrumental.

Her daughter was like her in nothing, ex cept the clearness of her complexion, and the redundant beauty of her glossy hair and eyelashes ; on these a maudlin poet had written a sonnet, and a small philosopher a lyric ballad happy as Waller's ; her vanity thought of these trifles, and she saw, as in a mirror, the pictures of her own girlhood in the fringed lids, pure eyes, and glorious black-brown hair, hanging in heavy ringlets on the snowy neck of " her own love." Walking out from the ball-room, where Alice had moved the hearts of the men and the envy of the women, she caught hold of my arm, and her leaning on it very heavily caused me to look into her face. Her eyes were filled Avith delicious tears, her lips quivered Avith some deep emotion, and I feared when she attempted to speak she would go off at once, hysterically.

" What is the matter, my dear aunt?" said I, for I saw that if she rejoiced she wept. "Are you growing blind, Nevil?" she answered. "No; I hope not," said I, for the moment thinking she referred to a distemper of the eyes, nearly blearing me, which had lately absorbed my attention, and I proceeded to assure her that Guthrie had declared, with a military oath, that I should preserve my sight to the end of my life. She heard me out, yet she was in exquisite pain, and chuckled as she bounced into a morocco chair. My innocence had changed her feelings. Five minutes before she was nearly fainting, in the ecstacy of sensations, now she Avas laughing, a little convulsed, over my misapprehension. If inopportune, it prevented a scene. I found her thoughts Avere engaged, over head and ears, in match-making, and she pointed, with supreme delight, to Alice, who was talking over a fire-screen.

This had upset her propriety — made her sentimental, aud in love with all the world; for she Avas entertaining views of a coronet in the family, and anxious to impart her raptures. It tickled her vanity to the utmost, and no wonder either, for her heart was set upon the world's show and greatness. She Avas excited! and to her mind a coronet, or a title of any kind, Avas the greatest object of attainment. Her ambition and her grief had been sincere, because Offley would not be so honoured ; but he, honest soul, was never disposed to fish in the troubled waters of politics for such captivating shadows. Her long-har boured hope noAV fluttered palpably before her eyes, garbed in those purple lines of enchantment which distance and delight throw over grateful realities. " I am convinced of it, Nevil," she said.

"Convinced of what?" said I, torturing the poor woman, for I saw her design was to draw me out by this mysterious speech. "That Lord Turbot will make her an offer. He admires her above everything ; he as good as told me so." " Who do you mean?" said I, "Alice? I should think she would be hardly likely to accept him. He is not now young, nor wealthy, nor, in my opinion, very wise or very handsome." " He is a peer of the realm," said my aunt, with a disdainful toss of the head, like a woman Avhose heart-laid scheme has been chequered, if not frustrated, by an unlucky word. " A peer of the realm," she repeated, as if this was a chokepear to every mental and personal detraction ; as if his breaking the ten commandments would be nothing against this one fact. " And my daughter, Nevil, can hardly feel otherwise than deeply honoured by his lordship's august con descension."

" No doubt Alice will appreciate it," said I, looking t;nvards them : they were closely talking. He Avas trying to engage her apart, and she was listening with all the heart of a frank girl to his " soft nothings" and flatteries. I guessed they were such by the air of grace, modest and maidenly, she betrayed, and almost longed to remove her from his sphere. I had seen enough of him to feel he was contemptible ; I knew he had feAV good qualities — nothing, except a paltry title, which he had not the merit to Avin on a field of opportunity, ever so fair; and I felt also that a banker's daughter, just introduced into the world, would have small chance of escape in the hands of a titled sinner whose experiences included twenty years of flirtation, as well as the mathematics of the turf and the tables ; for girls in general, I reckoned, and so I reckon still, are slow to reach the mental maturity that enables VOL T C them to weigh nicely the weight of words and the worthiness of suitors': and yet, beyond most of them, by having studied latin under a clever scholar, who was ever analysing thoughts and motives, and who had thus extended and refined her perception, my cousin could distinguish sense from nonsense, the real from the counterfeit.

Naturally her perceptions were quick, while her judgment was pure as her thoughts, and her wit easy and brilliant as that of Beatrice. "Do you see that?" said Mrs. Oflley. "What?" said I. " That young man who is just now — ah ! bless me, is the girl mad? She prefers him—" " It is pretty clear," said I, «' that St. Croix, who is one of Turbot's friends, has her hand for the polka." It was so ; and my aunt stepped forward with maternal solicitude, to prevent Alice dancing again just now. Poor girl, she could not be per suaded that she was wan and tired, and would fain indulge it freely, but Avas obliged to conform. St. Croix looked vexed, so did his Avilling partner, Avho gave him her scarf to take care of. This ensured further communication, as well as his attendance. But Mrs. Offley discovered a pretext to take her aside and lecture her on the propriety of not showing preferences to the chagrin of noble guests.

Fortunately Turbot had pre-engaged her hand for the next quad rille, which was to be the last; but it appeared to me that her vivacity flagged, and more than once I caught her eyes turned to St. Croix, who danced no more. Her eyes expressively revealed the pang she felt at having given him the least hurt or disap pointment. c During the remainder of the evening, she Avas monopolised by his lordship and an affected, but not very young, barrister, who had just inherited a baronetcy and a family estate. I shall nickname him Sir Fopping ton Phillips ; for he had the most conceited lisp, and was a very particular person in his " set," a critic in female beauty, and a vain poetaster. He condescended to approve Miss Offley! She had attractions enough to captivate the most fastidious critic, poet, or fop.

The parting moment came. His lordship tarried to the latest, and lingered on the threshold, with the family group in at tendance, uttering rich protestations to Alice, of whom he had conceived the opinion that she was a beautiful and enchanting girl. He told her so with all the freedom of noble candour. Close by was St. Croix, with me. He was on a visit to his lordship, and, coming with him, waited to return in his carriage. He was talking with me of a brown puppy, an Irish spaniel I had received a few days before, from a friend living near the vale of Avoca, and, knowing he was not a dog fancier, nor a sportsman, nor a keeper of spaniels, nor acquainted Avith them, I wondered what made him so anxious about this dog; without knowing anything of the breed, he talked a great deal, and expressed his anxiety to see this one so earnestly, that I agreed to give him an inspection of the beast the following morning.

His nervousness subsided, he parted Avith Alice, Avithin whose hearing we had agreed upon it, and joining his lordship, they drove off together. He came the following day, and I happened to be at home; after the usual household ceremonies, and as Ave were going to visit the dogs, Alice insisted upon accompanying us, but this was avoided; the morning being wet, it was arranged that the pup should be shown in the dining room. He was admitted (my aunt being out of the way), and admired, and from that hour promised to be a household pet. While St. Croix was there, I was called, and retained in an interview with a country agent, so he and Alice, and the puppy, the object of their mutual affection, remained together. I was surprised to find them all there when I returned. He had sate at least an hour, and made my absence a pretext for its length.

I suppose he found it agreeable, for in that hour (so I Avas often told), commenced a regard which survived many trials. He was going into Devonshire, so his call was a farewell; at the announcement of this, I fancied there was a mute expressiveness, obvious in the face of both. My attention was drawn to it more closely by Mrs. Offley's fear on the previous night. But all this was soon for gotten. St. Croix was gone, and Turbot was soon installed en famille. He took Alice and my aunt frequently to the opera, and, much to Mrs. Offley's satisfaction, was their companion in Rotten Row, as else- Avhere. These were the compliments for which she had often sighed in vain ; and the reputed wealth and beauty of "the heiress," in spite of the disadvantages of her rusticity, now elevated the banker's wife, under his lordship's wing, into the highest circles.