Scapegrace at Sea; ... Second edition

Front matter

SCAPEGRACE AT SEA; OK, SOLDIERS AFLOAT AND SAILORS ASHORE. m THREE VOLUMES. BY THE AUTHOK OF " CAVENDISH." " THE PRIDE OF THE MESS." "THE FLYING DUTCHMAN," &C., &0. VOL. I. [SECOND EDITION.] proton: T. CAUTLEY NEWBY, PUBLISHER, 30. WELBECK STREET, CAVENDISH SQUARE. 1863. [The Right of Translation it Reserved.'] DEDICATION. To WILLIAM JACOBSON, Esq., TAUNTON. Deae Jacob, Allow me to inscribe with your name these trifling pages ? Their greatest value in my eyes will arise from the opportunity they afford me of reminding you how many delightful hours of my life have been gilded hy your accom plishments, learning, humour, your love of art and hospitality, during the thirty years of our friendship. As misers think upon their hoards, enchanted with the sum, yet sighing to remember they must some day part; so do I, in absence, often recall the sunny days I have passed in your society.

In that long space — alas, how many voices that we welcomed with affection — are now hushed for ever ! May your life be spared in all happiness and honour, till words grow strong enough to express with what warmth and sincerity I remain your friend, , W. JOHNSTONN NEALE. Fountain Violet, Nov. 8, 1862.

Chapter I

The Scapegraces were a family of very long standing in the navy; ever since the reign of the eighth Henry they had been more or less con spicuous in the sea service, down to our own day. Yet, strange to say, the Assurance Offices would hardly have termed them a "long lived" family. Prolific they certainly were. It was no uncom mon thing in olden times to find several cousins Scapegraces — various branches of the same great family — serving in the same fleet as midshipmen, but what with small pox, scarlet VOL. I. B fever, boat actions, pirate hunting, cutting out expeditions, and other causes, such numbers ofthe family died out as midshipmen, that comparatively few of them attained the rank of lieutenant. Now and then you certainly did meet a Scapegrace commanding a man-of war, and no doubt the family could at one time boast of one ofthe most distinguished flag officers in the service.

Still, whatever might be their rank, two qualities seemed to accompany the family wherever they went and whenever they served. First, they were almost invariably courageous to a fault ; and secondly, though studded with the imperfections of our nature, hot tempered and whatnot, most of them were greatly loved and very popular, especially among the seamen. Of course they were very proud of their ancient family, and when in his cups, old Admiral Scapegrace, of our club, used to lament tbe corruptions that so many centuries had introduced into his name. But even he was not a little confused as to his family. Sometimes when he was very far gone SCAPEGKACE AT SEA. 3 after the fifth bottle of claret, he would insist that the Scapegraces had large landed posses sions in England as far back as the heptarchy, with sundry castles on the Rhine, and nobody knew where not.

At other times he was con tent with maintaining the old story, that his most distinguished ancestor came over with William the Conqueror, and, indeed, let fly the identical arrow which killed poor Harold. " At this time," the Admiral used to say, " our old family name was spelled proper!) , and was De la Scagrace; but what with some of my ancestors not being able, like other warlike barons, to write, and others who attained the art not liking it, they shortened it down to La Scagrace. Then it came to Scagrace alone, till now — my eyes, sir ! if it isn't Anglicised into Scapegrace. I've been once or twice to the Herald's College about changing it back again, but the lubbers always made out the probable cost at some two hundred pounds or near away; so I put it off and put it off till my wife brought me a son, and as that has never happened I b begin to fear the name will go out of the service altogether — my eyes !

" This last affliction seemed every year to grow more terrible in the eyes of the gallant veteran. In fact he believed it was killing him, assisted by gout in the stomach ; so at last he opened his heart to one ofthe great counsellors andconsolers ofthe club, General Sir Bertram Montagu. Be tween the Montagus and the Scapegraces there had been many family alliances; theGeneralwas therefore an esteemed connection. After many conferences on this important matter, sundry cases of claret, and serious imprecations on the Admiral's orbs of vision, it was finally and solemnly arranged that Sir Bertram's second son, just born, should take the time-honoured name of Scapegrace ; and that the Admiral should,in consideration ofthe same,leave theboy some sum, not to be less than fifty thousand pounds, the youth in due time to be entered in Her Majesty's maritime service, as a safeguard and precaution against such a terrible calamity as the Scapegraces dying out of the English navy.

The Admiral made his will directly ; the great object of his life seemed accompli shed. He was not at all too speedy with his parchments, for the following spring proving unusually wet and unhealthy, he took to his bed, and aided by colchicum and the Doctor, paid the last debt that Nature could exact, even of a Scapegrace. But now came the General's difficulty. How could he announce such a name to his wife, the Right Honble. the Lady Angelina Montagu ? A " rose in aromatic pain" was not one tenth so delicate as she. The hall porter lately had blown his nose so unwarily she had heard it in the drawing-room. On the General's return home, the door was opened by the groom of the chambers, and asking his wife the reason why, the General heard to his dismay that Lady Angelina had turned off the uncautious hall porter at an instant's notice, for "grossly insult ing her."

And this was the damsel to whom Sir Bertram had to break the intelligence that her infant son was to be called " Scapegrace," for the inadequate sum of fifty thousand pounds ! Too late the General saw his rashness, but he had passed his word, and if it had related to razing his house to the ground, every stone of it would have come down. A gentleman' sword is not estimated in this manner now-a-day s, owing to the large infusion of City blood into West Endcircles; butperhapsit would not have been less happy for both extremes had the City been innoculated by the West End in this respect, rather than the West End invaded by the City. But to our tale. General Montagu, you sup pose, was stern and determined. Hardly so ; determined he always was — stern never. Than Sir Bertram Montagu, few men were more popular in the club.

First of all he was reputed to be very rich — that' s always remarkably popular — next he was a good listener, which not only is, but deserves to be, popular. His friends were not allowed to know, what was in truth the fact, that Montagu was a very absent man; and, generally speaking, while Smith and Jones were telling him their oft repeated stories over the newspaper or the dinner table, his thoughts were quietly wool gathering in some totally opposite direction. A most engaging smile, and his eyes — which wore a very benevolent expression, looking full in yours — never allowed you to doubt that you had his full attention, while a feiv words discreetly dropped at the end of the story completed the illusion. Several legacies and no end of trusteeships — -not quite so welcome — rewarded Montagu for his amiability, which none could possibly question, for his cook was excellent, his wine priceless in its age and choice, and hospitality was the one great pleasure, it might almost be said forte of his existence.

Montagu married late in life. Lady Angeli na was much younger than himself, and on her partial recovery from presenting him with the second boy, she expressed to her husband the great dilemma in which she found herself in choosing hisChristian names. What with Julius, Algernon, Conrad, Percy, and a host equally choice, she was lost in a multitude of elegancies. " Choose what names you like, my dear," said the General, " but one name he must bear, because I've promised it." " Dear me, General ! " said his wife, some what tartly, " how extraordinary of you, and without consulting me. What could induce you to do such a thing ? " " Well, my dear," said the General, in a deprecatory tone, " I was vexed with myself afterwards that I had done so, but I acted with the best intentions." "The best intentions, General!

That's always what men say when they do a disagreeable thing. What can you mean ? " " Simply this, my dear. An old friend, a very old friend, and indeed a connection in the sister service, who had always grieved over the want of a son, promised me if I would give his name to my next boy, he would leave him fifty thousand pounds in his will." " 0 ! my dear General, people say that kind of thing but never keep their word." "And sometimes, love, they do keep their word, for my friend died last week and left your boy sixty thousand instead of fifty ; but he must bear the name." "Goodness me, how horrible! But what is the name?" " Well, my dear, it's a very ugly name, but a very ancient family." " What is it, General ; what is it ?" " Well, my dear," replied the General, trying to escape from his wife's fingers, which were firmly entangled in his button hole ; " I'd rather not say more about it just at present, it might distress you, and a few days hence you will be better able to bear it."

" Not tell me the name, love — not tell me the name ! Oh ! this suspense is more terrible than the worst reality. I shall go out of my senses." " General Montagu, you really must tell your good lady the name," said the nurse, popping out, baby in arms, from the adjoining ante-room ; " suspense is the most dreadfullest thing to bear as is, when a lady is just re covering from her confinement. Indeed, you must tell my lady the name." b " This moment, General. I insist upon it ; you must tell me !" " Well, my dear," said the General, " I would rather have postponed it, though I know curiosity is a thing not easily forborne. You must be prepared, as I told you, for an awkward name; still sixty thousand pounds— " " What is the name, General — -what is the name, never mind the money ; what is the hated name ?"

"Not hated, my dear, only eccentric." " Eccentric, General ! Worse and worse. 0, I shall go mad ! What is the name ?" " Don't distress yourself, my love, there's no occasion for that. Scapegrace is the name !" " 0 ! you have killed me !" shrieked Lady Angelina, throwing up her arms and sinking back on her pillow. " Mercy me, General ! — to kill my lady, and she going on so nicely !" cried the nurse ; and putting down the baby, she flew to her mistress with the smelling salts, ordered her assistant to exclude the disturber ; and before the General could gain his wife's side to entreat, implore, or explain, he was hustled into the passage, and told if he was not worse than a barbarian to set off at once for the physician. "Certainly — certainly!" said the General, and hastily and wondering, he took down his hat and started.

But unfortunately his club lying in his way, he entered for a few moments, as he thought, just to take a glass of sherry and a biscuit, met his brother officer Gen. Viscount Boreear in the hall, fell into his trap for a long story, dropped off into an absent fit till the story was ended, suffered himself to be led into the house to dinner, and never remembered his wife's fainting fit till the hackney cab set him down at the door at night. " Dear me," said the General, " this is very provoking ; I ought to have gone for the phy sician. What shall I do ? " While he was debating this knotty point, and keeping the cab waiting his decision, the door opened, and disclosed to his view in the ample hall, not only one physicianbut three, all wearing that solemn air so much more eloquent than words.

The conscience-stricken General walked into the house, closed the door behind him, and then leading the way into the dining room, asked the solemn trio to follow him. A long consultation ensued ; the lady was in no danger they could discover, but insisted on having a consultation over her case because she was dying. " Is she in any danger whatever?" said the General. " None whatever," said the physicians, " but she hinted—" " Hinted at what?" said the General. " That you had been the cause of her death." "Very sad!" said the General, smiling, "but since that is the case, all I can say is that to-morrow I'll be the cause of her cure." The physicians wished to know his remedy, but the General insisted on their joining him in a glass of rare paxaretta, left their curiosity unsatisfied and bowed them out.

On the following afternoon the rector of the parish and his lady called to see the baby. The rector's wife was summoned to go upstairs, and the parson being represented as " very anxious to see the baby," the child was taken down into the dining-room by the smiling nurse. "Let me take it nearer the light, nurse," said the General. The nurse gave the baby into its father's arms, and at this moment the old butler en tered to say my lady wanted the nurse upstairs. " I'll take care of baby till you return, nurse," said the General. " Thank you, Sir Bertram," said the nurse, hurrying out of the room, which she had scarce ly quitted before the housekeeper entered. The butler quietly locked the dining-room door after her, and produced a china bowl half full of water ; the rector produced his prayer book, and in a few minutes — the butler and house keeper standing sponsors — -the names of Julius Scapegrace Montagu were safely and irrevo cably bestowed upon the baby.

The moment the door was opened in burst the nurse, open mouthed. " You may make your mistress's mind quite happy now, nurse," said the General. " Tell her all suspense is over and the admiral's legacy secured." He did not add, as he might have done, that the navy was the destination of the little squal ler, but that intelligence was hardly necessary to increase the debate upstairs, which was soon audible through all the baize doors. " Excuse me, Dr. Penfold, but I've some business at the club," said the General, sliding gracefully a cheque for twenty pounds into the rector's soft and friendly palm. " Don't mention it, my dear General," replied the parson, pouring himself out a glass of Madeira, as he glanced well pleased at his gal lant friend's autograph, slipped it into his waist coat pocket, and resigned himself to the Times and the easy chair till his wife came down to him.

" My dear, we shall never be forgiven upstairs," said Mrs. Penfold, entering in a fe*v minutes with the longest face. " So I suppose," said the Dr., "help your self meanwhile to a glass of Madeira. I see the funds have risen slightly. And how did you leave Lady Angelina?" Poor Lady Montagu! to her dying day she never quite forgave the General, but the sixty thousand pounds secured to the younger son, and daily rolling into bigger money with the in terest well invested in four-and-a-half Russian Stock; the consolation seemed to grow stronger and stronger every year. But it quite cured her, she said, of having children, if strangers were to presume to meddle with them in this way. A violent cold, caught in one of our patent consumption-procuring low dresses, added a melancholy finis to her trials.

The General hurried to Nice, Rome, Madeira, but all in vain. In that island of sun-fed vines and romantic hills she fell asleep to wake no more to this life, and the General returned a disconsolate widower, not long to survive her; directing in his last will that his eldest son should go into the army and his younger son into the navy to serve for two years, leaving it to each to quit the ser vice if not agreeable at the end of that period. In accordance with the General's will his executors in due time procured a commission for the elder son in the Nonsuch Regiment, and a naval cadetship ; for the younger son in H.M.S. Saucebox. And with these pre liminaries duly explained, our story opens in the barracks of the Nonsuch Regiment, then quartered in the little town of Forestville, the room into which we usher the reader being the quarters of a gallant subaltern rejoicing in the name of Walduck.

Chapter II

The hour was noon, yet the first meal of day was still unremoved. The breakfast had evidently been the repast of one of your military anchorites ; tea was supposed to have formed its staple, and a cup of that refreshing beve rage stood yet unconsumed upon the cloth. The smoke proceeding from it was not very urgent, for the tea was half cold, but in order to comfort the cup in its neglect there stood beside it a noble sized wine glass, three parts full of light Burgundy. A tall slim bottle of Beaune, very nearly finished, was in close proximity to the wine glass. Scattered at intervals over the table were Russian caviare, Pate de foie gras, Indian chutnee, a plate full of peaches, a box full of cigars, a couple of glass jars, one containing marmalade and the other preserved apricots ; the whole embellished with divers articles of silver plate.

In the corner of the room stood a very nice tandem whip, and, hanging just above it, were half-a-dozen horsewhips ; stiff, taper, flexible, hunting, even down to a couple of ladies' -whips, and, as if to keep these company, on the sofa were seen, peeping out from a military cloak, something that looked marvel lously like a lady's muff. The owner of this apartment, a young man of three-and-twenty, was engaged, as it may readily be supposed, in the consistent occupa tion of deep study — Vauban possibly?— or Napier ? — Nothing of the sort — his study, un fortunately, was of the kind called " brown." He stood with his back to the fireplace, the skirt of a silk dressing gown tucked under each arm, his hands in his pockets, and between his lips his fourth cigar of that morning's consumption, the remains of the other three, together with a sufficient quantity of tobacco-ashes, were lying in elegant confusion on a breakfast plate before him, together with the fag end of a piece of toast, the best half of a pat of butter, and an ivory hilted knife, mounted with a silver ferrule, and bearing the family crest of the industrious hero who had gone through the labour of such a breakfast ; to wit, Augustus Henry Walduck.

Presently a knock was heard at the door. " Come in," said the host ; but scarcely had the words passed from his lips when the door opened with a sudden burst, and in strode the visitor, Captain Worsted, holding in his hand an open letter. " Ah, AValduck, my boy, what not yet finished breakfast?" said the Captain, going up to the table, and extracting a cigar from the box without any further invitation. " Well, I have been trying at it for some time, you know ; but a serious affair, like a breakfast,a man ought not to dismiss in a hurry.' ' "Why not?" " For fear of gross improvidence, sir ; waste fulness, and all other extravagant errors. If an officer in Her Majesty's Service lets his breakfast go in a hurry, what the dickens is he to do with the rest of his day until dinner-time?" " Ah, true !

I did not take that view of it. Here, have you got any more wine left?" " Yes ; you'll find some left in that bottle. Let me ring for another glass." " Oh, not at all ! Do not trouble yourself. Here is a tea-cup." " Oh, monstrous, my boy ! Drink Beaune out of a tea cup ! — -It would make my head ache for an hour !" " Ah ! Yes ; you are not seasoned yet, you know, but an old soldier like myself can con trive to rough it. Though I do not approve of Burgundy and cigars." And as the Captain said this he replaced on the table the tea cup quite empty. " They do not go well together. Have you not got a little brandy ?" " Yes ; there is the case bottle on the table before you." " Ah, that is more legitimate ! I will just take a thimble full." While Worsted said this he poured out a tea cup full of eau de vie, mixed a little cold water with it, lighted his cigar, and tucked up his coat tails to match his friend.

Walduck moved a little way from the fire. " I say, Walduck, this fire is confoundedly hot this summer day." " Well, it is rather boiling, you know ; but I am seasoning myself for the West Indies ! I think a little fire in the morning, and one at night, a man may stand almost all through the summer. But have you got any news in that letter ? Who is it from ?" " Ah, by the way ! Yes ; I wanted to tell you this is from an old brother officer of mine, — Piper, of the 120th. He was at the Horse Guards yesterday, and met the new fellow that is coming down to join ours." " What, this fellow who has been gazetted — Mr. Ernest Plantagenet Montagu?" " Yes." " Poor devil ! How I pity him ! A fellow with such a name as that won't live in this regiment above a week, I should think !" " Oh, no, Walduck, my boy !

I think we may give him ten days ! Indeed, we ought not to let him get out of the regiment until we have given him three weeks of it. Drill him thoroughly all the day, and rouse him up every night to go through the sword exercise with an umbrella on the mess table." " Well, well, I do not think it would be a bad three weeks' amusement for us. We are getting rather dull now. That last fellow who caine seems to have lost all the go in him. What account does Piper give of this Mr. Jolly Newcomer ?" " Oh, Piper knew all the family very well. Our fellow is the eldest son of General Montagu. Our fellow has lots of tin, and so has his younger brother, who took the name of Scapegrace after the Admiral for fifty thousand pounds !" " Ahem ! Decentish fellows then. I wish their names were on the back of my last bill."

" What, that old bill of yours which Flee cem, in the city, has renewed so often ? What is it for now ?" " Oh, confound the bill ! It has swollen to two hundred and fifty pounds, and every time I think of it I get a cold shudder." " Very likely, Worsted. Don't you wish you could take some old curmudgeon's cogno men for a small sum, say for three thousand pounds, you know,to pass your worsted through the shuttle of the Herald's Office, and come out upon velvet ; all your acceptances taken up, and happily shoved in the fire ; your debts paid, and perhaps even a five pound note left in your pocket, and not only your pay clear, but your credit fresh to begin at the old fun, ' three months after date.' " Walduck, what you say suggests a bright idea to my mind." " What is it ?" " Why, if this young fellow has just come into a good fortune, we might draw it mild with him down here, you know, and let him off some of his midnight parades ; and instead of this — ahem — ha — a — you understand."

" O ! yes, I understand quite ; you might stick him with an acceptance or two to hand over to Fleecem." " No, I don't think I should go to Fleecem again." "No; why not?" " Why I have been introduced lately to two most respectable proctors." " O ! nonsense. What are their names ?" " O, highly respectable men, I am told, Messrs. Takein and Doem." " By the way, that reminds me, Walduck, that Piper tells me this young Montagu is on the look out to buy a couple of good horses." "Is he?" said Walduck, dropping both his coat tails in a moment of enthusiasm. " Write and tell your friend I can suit him to a hair." " What horse have you got to sell ? " " Oh ! there is Grey Bob, I am thinking of parting with him ; and then there is my chest nut mare." " Well I will write if you can recommend them." " Recommend them !

Oh, he cannot have anything better." " Then I suppose I may say you will give a warranty with both of them? " " Warranty be hanged ! I never warranted a horse in my life, and I never will." " Oh, very well. What price shall I say you want for them ? " " Well, what price is he willing to go to?" " As far as I understand Piper, price is immaterial." " Well, I won't be hard with him. He shall have Grey Bob for — let me see— seventy guineas ; and the chestnut mare is honestly vol. i. c worth eighty. One hundred and fifty guineas, tell him, he shall have the pair for." "Pretty stiff price that," said Worsted, smiling with a knowing look, " but we shall see what Johnny Newcome says to it." " What has become of the younger son, is he coming into the army too?" " Oh no, poor devil ! I understand they have shipped him on board a man of war.

Think of such shocking inhumanity, poor unhappy little wretch ; with fifty thousand pounds too, what a sacrifice ! " " Well, well, there must be victims for every sad emergency. You might as well pity that poor dog who is carrying that mortar hod in the barrack yard there after his master." " I do not, comparatively ; at least he has got solid ground to'walk on. Ah ! here comes my servant with a card. Zounds, this cannot be Montagu come down, can it? Piper said in his letter that he had given him a letter of introduction to me. Come in, Pipeclay," added Worsted, as the corporal knocked at the door. " Ensign Montagu, your honor, has arrived to join the regiment. He is sitting in your honor's quarters, and he ordered me to bring you this card." " Very well, Pipeclay. My compliments and I will be with him in a few minutes.

Hand him a book to read." " Please your honor," said Pipeclay, touching his forehead with his finger, " there is never a book in your honor's quarters but thearmy list." " Give him that, Pipeclay ; nothing can be better ; a man must read that very often be fore he remembers the whole of it, you know." "Please, your honor, I did give him the army list, but he laid that down again." " Oh, very well ; give it him again, Pipeclay. In literature, as in everything else, there is a real taste and an acquired one. The army list, Pipeclay, is an acquired taste, for when a man has been sometime without getting a step, it is wonderful how naturally he takes to perusing it. Give it to him again, Pipeclay, and this time with my compliments." c "I will, your honor." " Oh ! and, Pipeclay." The old Corporal turned back.

" Nothing more, Pipeclay." Then, as the Corporal left the room Worsted turned round to Walduck. " I had half a mind to send word to this Montagu to get ready for his examination in the Army List, but one must not let the men share in any little practical joke. You and I will go presently and stick it into him — squat the poor schoolboy down with the Army List in his fist, and make him learn the first five pages by heart. Tell him the Colonel always requires that from every new Ensign as a test of memory." "No, I would not begin with the poor wretch the first day he joins. Let him have one peep at his military life, au couleur de rose. Sup pose you go away and bring him here." " Oh ! no, you get your breakfast things cleared away, and go and cut your beard off. I must take this fellow now, and introduce him to the Colonel and the Major, and when I have done that I will bring him round to you, and you can shew him your two horses if youlike."