Redburn: his First Voyage, etc

Chapter I

HffW WELLINGBOROUGH REDBURN'S TASTE FOR THE SEA "WAS BORN AND BRED IN HIM. " Wellingborough, as you are going to sea, suppose you take this shooting-jacket of mine along ; it's just the thing — take it, it will save the expense of another. You see, it's quite warm ; fine long skirts, stout horn buttons, and plenty of pockets." Out of the goodness and simplicity of his heart, thus spoke my elder brother to me, upon the eve of my departure for the seaport. " And, Wellingborough," he added, " since we are both short of money, and you want an outfit, VOL. I. B redburn : and I have none to give, you may as well take my fowling-piece along, and sell it in New York for what you can get. — Nay, take it ; it's of no use to me now ; I can't find it in powder any more." I was then but a boy. Some time previous my mother had removed from New York to a pleasant village on the Hudson River, where we lived in a small house, in a quiet way.

Sad disappointments in several plans which I had sketched for my future Use ; the necessity of doing something for myself, united to a naturally roving disposition, had now conspired within me, to send me to sea as a sailor. For months previous I had been poring over old New York papers, delightedly perusing the long columns of ship advertisements, aU of which possessed a strange, romantic charm to me. Over and over again I devoured such announcements as the following : — FOR BREMEN. The coppered and copper-fastened brig Leda, having nearly completed her cargo, will sail for the above port on Tuesday, the twentieth of May. For freight or passage apply on board at Coenties Slip. ' To my young inland imagination every word in an advertisement like this suggested volumes of thought. A brig ! The very word summoned up the idea of a black, sea-worn craft, with high, cozy bul warks, and rakish masts and yards.

Coppered and copper-fastened ! That fairly smelt of the salt water! How different such vessels must be from the wooden, one-masted, green-and white-painted sloops, that glided up and down the river before our house on the bank. Nearly completed her cargo! How momentous the announcement ; suggesting ideas, too, of musty bales, and cases of silks and satins, and filling me with contempt for the vile deck-loads of hay and lumber, with which my river experience was familiar. WiU sail on Tuesday the 20th of May—&n& the newspaper bore date the fifth of the month ! Fif teen whole days beforehand ; think of that ; what an important voyage it must be, that the time of sailing was fixed upon so long beforehand; the river sloops were not used to make such prospective announcements. For freight or passage apply on board !

Think of going on board a coppered and copper-fastened b2 REDBURN : brig, and taking passage for Bremen ! And who could be going'to Bremen ? No one but foreign ers, doubtless ; men of dark complexions and jet black whiskers, who talked French. Coenties Slip. Plenty more brigs and any quan tity of ships must be lying there. Coenties SUp must be somewhere near ranges of grim-looking warehouses, with rusty iron doors and shutters, and tiled roofs ; and old anchors and chain-cable piled on the walk. Old-fashioned coffee-houses, also, much abound in that neighbourhood, with sun-burnt sea-captains going in and out, smoking cigars, and talking about Havanna, London, and Calcutta. All these my imaginations were wonderfully as sisted by certain shadowy reminiscences of wharfs, and warehouses, and shipping, with which a resi dence in a seaports during early childhood had supplied me.

Particularly, I remembered standing with my father on the wharf when a large ship was getting under way, and rounding the head of the pier. I remembered the yoe heave ho! of the sailors, as they just showed their woollen caps above the high bulwarks. I remembered how I thought of their crossing the great ocean ; and that that very ship, and those very sailors, so near to me then, would after a time be actually in Europe. Added to these reminiscences, my father, now dead, had several times crossed the Atlantic on business affairs, for he had been an importer in Broad-street. And of winter evenings in New York, by the weU-remembered sea-coal fire in old Greenwich-street, he used to tell my brother and me of the monstrous waves at sea, mountain high ; of the masts bending like twigs; and all about Havre, and Liverpool, and about going up into the ball of St. Paul's in London.

Indeed, during my early life, most of my thoughts of the sea were connected with the land ; but with fine old lands, full of mossy cathedrals and churches, and long, narrow, crooked streets without side-walks, and lined with strange houses. And especially I tried hard to think how such places must look of rainy days and Saturday afternoons ; and whether indeed they did have rainy days and Saturdays there, just as we did here ; and whether the boys went to school there, and studied geography, and wore their shirt collars turned over, and tied with a black ribbon ; and whether their papas allowed REDBURN : them to wear boots, instead of shoes, which I so much disliked, for boots looked so manly. As I grew older my thoughts took a larger flight, and I frequently fell into long reveries about distant voyages and travels, and thought how fine it would be, to be able to talk about remote and barbarous countries ; with what reverence and wonder people would regard me, if I had just returned from the coast of Africa or New Zealand ; how dark and romantic my sun-burnt cheek would look ; how I would bring home with me foreign clothes of a rich fabric and princely make, and wear them up and down the streets, and how grocers' boys would turn back their heads to look at me, as I went by.

For I very wTeU remembered staring at a man myself, who was pointed out to me by my aunt one Sunday in Church, as the person who had been in Stony Arabia, and passed through strange adventures there, all of which with my own eyes I had read in the book which he wrote, an arid-looking book in a pale yeUow cover. " See what big eyes he has," whispered my aunt, " they got so big, because, when he was almost dead with famishing in the desert, he all at once caught sight of a date tree with the ripe fruit hanging on it." Upon this, I stared at him till I thought his eyes were really of an uncommon size, and stuck out from his head like those of a lobster. I am sure my own eyes must have magnified as I stared. When church was out, I wanted my aunt to take me along and follow the traveller home. But she said the constables would take us up, if we did ; and so I never saw this wonderful Arabian traveller again.

But he long haunted me; and several times I dreamt of him, and thought his great eyes were grown still larger and rounder; and once I had a vision of the date tree. In course of time, my thoughts became more and more prone to dwell upon foreign things ; and in a thousand ways I sought to gratify my tastes. We had several pieces of furniture in the house, which had been brought from Europe. These I examined again and again, wondering where the wood grew ; whether the workmen who made them still survived, and what they could be doing with themselves now. Then we had several oil paintings and rare old engravings of my father's, which he himself had REDBURN: bought in Paris, hanging up in the dining room. Two of these were sea-pieces. One represented a fat-looking, smoky fishing-boat, with three whis kerandoes in red caps, and their trowsers legs rolled up, hauling in a seine.

There was high French-like land in one corner, and a tumble down gray lighthouse surmounting it. The waves were toasted brown, and the whole picture looked mellow and old. I used to think a piece of it might taste good. The other represented three old-fashioned French men-of-war, with high castles, like pagodas, on the bow and stern, such as you see in Froissart; and snug little turrets on top of the mast, full of little men, with something undefinable in their hands. All three were saihng through a bright blue sea, blue as Sicily skies ; and they were leaning over on their sides at a fearful angle ; and they must have been going very fast, for the white spray was about the bows like a snow-storm. Then, we had two large green French portfoUos of coloured prints, more than I could lift at that age.

Every Saturday my brothers and sisters used to get them out of the corner where they were kept, and spreading them on the floor, gaze at them with never-failing delight. They were of all sorts. Some were pictures of Versailles, its masquerades, its drawing-rooms, its fountains, and courts, and gardens, with long Unes of thick foliage cut into fantastic doors and windows, and towers and pinnacles. Others were rural scenes, full of fine skies, pensive cows standing up to the knees in water, and shepherd-boys and cottages in the distance, half concealed in vineyards and vines. And others were pictures of natural history, representing rhinoceroses and elephants and spotted tigers ; and above all there was a picture of a great whale, as big as a ship, stuck full of har poons, and three boats sailing after it as fast as they could fly.

Then, too, we had a large library case, that stood in the hall ; an old brown library-case, tall as a small house ; it had a sort of basement, with large doors and a lock and key ; and higher up, there were glass doors, through which might be seen long rows of old books, that had been printed in Paris, and London, and Leipsic. There was a fine library edition of the Spectator, in six large b3 REDBURN : volumes with gilded backs; and many a time I gazed at the word " London " on the title-page. And there was a copy of D'Alembert in French, and I wondered what a great man I would be, if by foreign travel I should ever be able to read straight along without stopping, out of that book, which now was a riddle to every one in the house but my father, whom I so much liked to hear talk French, as he sometimes did to a servant we had.

That servant, too, I used to gaze at with won der ; for in answer to my incredulous cross questions, he had over and over again assured me, that he had really been born in Paris. But this I never entirely beheved ; for it seemed so hard to comprehend, how a man who had been born in a foreign country, could be dwelling with me in our house in America. As years passed on, this continual dwelling upon foreign associations, bred in me a vague prophetic thought, that I was fated, one day or other, to be a great voyager ; and that just as my father used to entertain strange gentlemen over their wine after dinner, I would hereafter be tell ing my own adventures to an eager auditory. And I have no doubt that this presentiment had something to do with bringing about my subsequent rovings. But that which perhaps, more than any thing else, converted my vague dreamings and longings into a definite purpose of seeking my fortune on the sea, was an old-fashioned glass ship, about eighteen inches long, and of French manufacture, which my father, some thirty years before, had brought home from Hamburgh as a present to a great uncle of mine: Senator Wellingborough, who had died a member of Congress in the days of the old Constitution, and after whom I had the honour of being named.

Upon the decease of the Senator, the ship was returned to the donor. It was kept in a square glass case, which was regularly dusted by one of my sisters every morning, and stood on a little claw-footed Dutch tea table in one corner of the sitting-room. This ship, after being the admiration of my father's visitors in the capital, became the wonder and delight of aU the people of the viUage where we now resided, many of whom used to call upon my mother, for no other purpose than to see the ship. And well did it repay the long and curious examinations which they were accustomed to give it. REDBURN : In the first place, every bit of it was glass, and that was a great wonder of itself; because the masts, yards, and ropes were made to resemble exactly the corresponding parts of a real vessel that could go to sea.

She carried two tiers of black guns all along her two decks ; and often I used to try to peep in at the port-holes, to see what else was inside; but the holes were so small, and it looked so very dark in-doors, that I could discover little or nothing ; though, when I was very little, I made no doubt, that if I could but once pry open the hull, and break the glass all to pieces, I should infallibly light upon something wonderful, perhaps some gold guineas, of which I have always been in want, ever since I could remember. And often I used to feel a sort of insane desire to be the death of the glass ship, case, and all, in order to come at the plunder ; and one day, throwing out some hint of the kind to my sisters, they ran to my mother in a great clamour; and after that, the ship was placed on the mantelpiece for a time, beyond my reach, and until I should recover my reason.

I do not know how to account for this temporary madness of mine, unless it was, that I had been reading in a story-book about Captain Kidd's ship, that lay somewhere at the bottom of the Hudson near the Highlands, full of gold as it could be ; and that a company of men were trying to dive down and get the treasure out of the hold, which no one had ever thought of doing before, though there she had lain for almost a hundred years. Not to speak of the tall masts, and yards, and rigging of this famous ship, among whose mazes of spun-glass I used to rove in imagination, till I grew dizzy at the main-truck, I will only make mention of the people on board of her. They, too, were all of glass, as beautiful little glass sailors as anybody ever saw, with hats and shoes on, just like Uving men, and curious blue jackets with a sort of ruffle round the bottom.

Four or five of these sailors were very nimble little chaps, and were mounting up the rigging with very long strides ; but for all that, they never gained a single inch in the year, as I can take my oath. Another sailor was sitting astride of the spanker boom, with his arms over his head, but I never could find out what that was for ; a second was in the fore-top, with a coil of glass rigging over his REDBURN : shoulder j the cook, with a glass axe, was spUtting wood near the fore-hatch ; the steward, in a glass apron, was hurrying toward the cabin with a plate of glass pudding ; and a glass dog, with a red mouth, was barking at him ; whde the captain in a glass cap was smoking a glass cigar on the quarter-deck. He was leaning against the bul wark, with one hand to his head ; perhaps he was unwell, for he looked very glassy out of the eyes.

The name of this curious ship was La Reine, or The Queen, which was painted on her stern where any one might read it, among a crowd of glass dolphins and sea-horses carved there in a sort of semicircle. And this Queen rode undisputed mistress of a green glassy sea, some of whose waves were break ing over her bow in a wild way, I can tell you ; and I used to be giving her up for lost and foun dered every moment, till I grew older, and per ceived that she was not in the slightest danger in the world. A good deal of dust, and fuzzy stuff Uke down, had in the course of many years worked through the joints of the case, in which the ship was kept, so as to cover all the sea with a Ught dash of white, which if anything improved the general effect, for it looked like the foam and froth raised by the terrible gale the good Queen was battling against.

So much for La Reine. We have her yet in the house, but many of her glass spars and ropes are now sadly shattered and broken, — but I will not have her mended ; and her figure-head, a gallant warrior in a cocked-hat, lies pitching head-foremost down into the trough of a calamitous sea under the bows — but I will not have him put on his legs again, till I get on my own; for between him and me there is a secret sympathy ; and my sisters tell me, even yet, that he fell from his perch the very day I left home to go to sea on this my first voyage. REDBURN :

Chapter II

redburn's departure from home. It was with a heavy heart and full eyes, that my poor mother parted with me ; perhaps she thought me an erring and a wilful boy, and perhaps I was; but if I was, it had been a hard-hearted world, and hard times that had made me so. I had learned to think much and bitterly before my time ; all my young mounting dreams of glory had left me ; and at that early age, I was as unambitious as a man of sixty. Yes, I will go to sea ; cut my kind uncles and aunts, and sympathizing patrons, and leave no heavy hearts but those in my own home, and take none along but the one which aches in my bosom. Cold, bitter cold as December, and bleak as its blasts, seemed the world then to me ; there is no misanthrope like. a boy disappointed; and such was I, with the warm soul of me flogged out by adversity.

But these thoughts are bitter enough even now, for they have not yet gone quite away ; and they must be uncongenial enough to the reader ; so no more of that, and let me go on with my story. " Yes, I will write you, dear mother, as soon as I can," murmured I, as she charged me for the hundredth time, not to fail to inform her of my safe arrival in New York. "And now Mary, Martha, and Jane, kiss me all round, dear sisters, and then I am off. I'll be back in four months — it wiU be autumn then, and we'll go into the woods after nuts, and I'll tell you all about Europe. Good-by ! good-by ! " So I broke loose from their arms, and not daring to look behind, ran away as fast as I could, till I got to the corner where my brother was waiting. He accompanied me part of the way to the place, where the steamboat was to leave for New York ; instilling into me much sage advice above his age, for he was but eight years my senior, and warning me again and again to take care of myself; and I solemnly promised I would ; for what castaway REDBURN : V will not promise to take care of himself, when he sees that unless he himself does, no one else wiU ?

We walked on in silence till I saw that his strength was giving out, — he was in iU-health then, — and with a mute grasp of the hand, and a loud thump at the heart, we parted. It wras early on a raw, cold, damp morning toward the end of spring, and the world was before me; stretching away a long muddy road, lined with comfortable houses, whose inmates were taking their sunrise naps, heedless of the way farer passing. The cold drops of drizzle trickled down my leather cap, and mingled with a few hot tears on my cheeks. I had the whole road to myself, for no one was yet stirring, and I walked on, with a slouching, dogged gait. The gray shooting-jacket was on my back, and from the end of my brother's rifle hung a small bundle of my clothes. My fingers worked moodily at the stock and trigger, and I thought that this indeed was the way to begin Use, with a gun in your hand !

Talk not of the bitterness of middle-age and after Use ; a boy can feel all that, and much more, when upon his young soul the mildew has fallen ; > and the fruit, which with others is only blasted after ripeness, with him is nipped in the first blossom and bud. And never again can such blights be made good; they strike in too deep, and leave such a scar that the air of Paradise might not erase it. And it is a hard and cruel thing thus in early youth to taste beforehand the pangs which should be reserved for the stout time of manhood, when the gristle has become bone, and we stand up and fight out our lives, as a thing tried before and foreseen ; for then we are veterans used to sieges and battles, and not green recruits, recoiling at the first shock of the encounter. At last gaining the boat, we pushed off, and away we steamed down the Hudson.

There were few passengers on board, the day was so un pleasant ; and they were mostly congregated in the after cabin round the stoves. After breakfast, some of them went to reading : others took a nap on the settees ; and others sat in silent circles, speculating no doubt, as to who each other might be. They were certainly a cheerless set, and to me they all looked stony-eyed and heartless. I could not help it, I almost hated them ; and to avoid REDBURN : them, went on deck, but a storm of sleet drove me below. At last I bethought me, that I had not procured a ticket, and going to the captain's office to pay my passage and get one, was horror struck to find, that the price of passage had been suddenly raised that day, owing to the other boats not running ; so that I had not enough money to pay for my fare.

I had supposed it would be but a dollar, and only a dollar did I have, whereas it was two. What was to be done ? The boat was off, and there was no backing out ; so I determined to say nothing to any body, and grimly wait until called upon for my fare. The long weary day wore on till afternoon ; one incessant storm raged on deck; but after dinner the few passengers, waked up with their roast-beef and mutton, became a little more sociable. Not with me, for the scent and savour of poverty was upon me, and they all cast toward me their evil eyes and cold suspicious glances, as I sat apart, though among them. I felt that desperation and recklessness of poverty which only a pauper knows. There was a mighty patch upon one leg of my trowsers, neatly sowed on, for it had been executed by my mother, but still very obvious and incontrovertible to the eye.

This patch I had hitherto studiously endeavoured to hide with the ample skirts of my shooting jacket ; but now I stretched out my leg boldly, and thrust the patch under their noses, and looked at them so, that they soon looked away, boy though I was. Perhaps the gun that I clenched frightened them into respect; or there might have been something ugly in my eye ; or my teeth were white, and my jaws were set. For several hours I sat gazing at a jovial party seated round a mahogany table, with some crackers and cheese, and wine and cigars. Their faces were flushed with the good dinner they had eaten ; and mine felt pale and wan with a long fast. If I had presumed to offer to make one of their party ; if I had told them of my circumstances, and sohcited something to refresh me, I very well knew, from the peculiar hollow ring of their laughter, they would have had the waiters put me out of the cabin, for a beggar, who had no business to be warming himself at their stove.

And for that insult, though only a conceit, I sat and gazed at them, putting up no petitions for their prosperity. My whole soul was soured within me, and when at last the captain's clerk, a slender young man, REDBURN dressed in the height of fashion, with a gold watch chain and broach, came round coUecting the tickets, I buttoned up my coat to the throat, clutched my gun, put on my leather cap, and pulling it well down, stood up like a sentry before him. He held out his hand, deeming any remark superfluous, as his object in pausing before me must be obvious. But I stood motionless and sdent, and in a moment he saw how it was with me. I ought to have spoken and told him the case, in plain, civil terms, and offered my dollar, and then waited the event. But I felt too wicked for that. He did not wait a great while, but spoke first himself; and in a gruff voice, very unlike his urbane accents when accosting the wine and cigar party, demanded my ticket.

I replied that I had none. He then demanded the money ; and upon my answering that I had not enough, in a loud angry voice that attracted all eyes, he ordered me out of the cabin into the storm. The devil in me then mounted up from my soul, and spread over my frame, till it tingled at my finger ends ; and I muttered out my resolu tion to stay where I was in such a manner, that the ticket man faltered back. " There's a dollar for you," I added, offering it. " I want two," said he. " Take that or nothing," I answered ; " it is all I have." I thought he would strike me. But, accepting the money, he contented himself with saying some thing about sportsmen going on shooting expedi tions, without having money to pay their expenses ; and hinted that such chaps might better lay aside their fowling-pieces, and assume the buck and saw.

He then passed on, and left every eye fastened upon me. I stood their gazing some time, but at last could stand it no more. I pushed my seat right up before the most insolent gazer, a short fat man, with a plethora of cravat round his neck, and fixing my gaze on his, gave him more gazes than he sent. This somewhat embarrassed him, and he looked round for some one to take hold of me ; but no one coming, he pretended to be very busy counting the gilded wooden beams overhead. I then turned to the next gazer, and clinking my gun lock, deUberately presented the piece at him. Upon this, he overset his seat in his eagerness to get beyond my range, for I had him point blank, full in the left eye ; and several persons starting REDBURN to their feet, exclaimed that I must be crazy. So I was at that time ; for otherwise I know not how to account for my demoniac feeUngs, of which I was afterward heartily ashamed, as I ought to have been, indeed ; and much more than that.

I then turned on my heel, and shouldering my fowling-piece and bundle, marched on deck, and walked there through the dreary storm, tiU I was wet through, and the boat touched the wharf at New York. Such is boyhood.

Chapter III. He Arrives In Town

From the boat's bow, I jumped ashore, before she was secured, and following my brother's directions, proceeded across the town toward St. John's Park, to the house of a college friend of his, for whom I had a letter. It was a long walk ; and I stepped in at a sort of grocery to get a drink of water, where some six or eight rough-looking fellows were playing domi noes upon the counter, seated upon cheese boxes. They winked, and asked what sort of sport I had had gunning on such a rainy day, but I only gulped down my water and stalked off. Dripping like a seal, I at last grounded arms at the doorway of my brother's friend, rang the bell and inquired for him.< VOL. I. C REDBURN : " What do you want?" said the servant, eying me as if I were a housebreaker. " I want to see your lord and master ; show me into the parlour."