Straight as a Die: a novel

Front matter

% ftro.l. BY MRS. EDWARD KENNARD AUTHOR OF "THE IlICHT SORT." " Had we never loved sae kindly, Had we never loved sac blindly, Never met or never parted. We had ne'er been broken-hearted.' IN THREE VOLUMES. VOL. III. LONDON— CHAPMAN and HALL LIMITED 1885. [All Eights lli-scrved.] WESTMINSTER : PRINTED BY NICHOLS AND SONS. 25, PARLIAMENT STREET. CONTENTS. VOLUME III. CHAP. PAGE I. — Must we Meet ? . . * . 1 LL — Breaking the Ice .... 19 III. — A First Embrace .... 33 IV. — Marriage Bells .... 45 V. — The Happy Couple ... 62 VI. — The Honeymoon . . . . 71 VII. — A Terrible Discovery . . 83 VIII. — What's Done can't be Undone . 97 IX. — " To Err is Human, to Forgive, Di vine " . . . . .113 X. — Good Society. .... 125 XI. — Mine Enemy's Dog . . . .139 XII.— Flight . ... . . .155 XIII. — Seeking for Work . . . 180 XIV. — Together, but Divided . . . 200 XV.— Man and Man 222 XVI. — Back to the Old Life . . . 231 XVII. — A Perilous Drive .... 250 XVIII. — Good-bye, my Love, Guod-bye. . 255 XIX. — Conclusion .....

Chapter I. Must We

MEET? After all, Dulcie's wish that she might die was within an ace of being fulfilled. For many days after her memorable parting ■with Bob Mornington she lay dangerously ill, while the doctors in attendance refused to predict what turn her malady might eventually take. The mental anxiety and excitement she had so recently undergone, added to physical exposure, culminated in an acute attack of brain fever, and four-and-twenty hours after the time when Betsy had been nearly frightened out of her wits by find ing her senseless body lying in the front hall she was in a state of high delirium. Her cries could be heard all over the house, whilst the piercing entreaties she continually uttered, beseeching the separation from Bob should VOL. III. B not take place, were so piteous that even Mrs. Shepperton felt moved, and several times had to leave the room in consequence.

On other occa sions Dulcie fancied Mr. Denver was sitting at her bedside, and then she would stretch out her arms and shriek frantically for him to depart, until she fell back on the pillow thoroughly exhausted, and seemingly lifeless, except for the painful sound of laboured breathing. A professional nurse had promptly been called in, but even she could not succeed in soothing the patient, and Marian's voice alone seemed to possess any calming or restraining influence. Consequently, Marian tended her sister assiduously, and, during many hours spent in the sick room, gathered much of Dulcie's mental condition, and the cause which had originated her grave illness. But at length a favourable crisis took place, and a day came when the fever subsided. Though alarmingly weak, and scarcely able to turn round in bed, Dulcie could recognise the faces of those around, and regained sufficient consciousness to inquire what had ailed her.

Then she fell into a long sweet sleep, from which she awoke calm and refreshed, with a new lease of life. A fortnight elapsed, during which brandy and beef-tea were plentifully administered, and at the ? 3 •end of that time she was pronounced convalescent, and cheerfully told by the family doctor " that she had nothing to do but take care of herself, and make haste and get well." Get well, indeed ! How could she ever hope to do that ? Lotions and cunning compounds might succeed in curing bodily aches, but where was the medicine able to cure those of the heart ? When she had been so weak and ill, she had laid in bed quite passively, feeling too exhausted even to think * but, as she gradually gained strength, the power of thought returned in all its intensity. She longed to ask for news of Bob, and yet dared not do so; although one day, when they were alone together, Marian had told her he had started for America at the time originally arranged with his uncle, and that before leaving he had implored her to write him a line just now and again.

" Marian," she said, " send him my love, be sure and send him my love, and ask him not to forget his promise." As for Mrs. Shepperton, curiously enough, she never made any inquiries about the cause which had reduced Dulcie to that prostrate condition in which she had been found in the hall, or why it was her clothes were perfectly saturated. Indeed, she steadily avoided the subject, for in her heart b2 of hearts she could make a pretty shrewd guess at what had occurred, consoling herself, however, with the reflection that the parting from Bob was a good thing over, and rendered the situation many degrees less difficult. It was a cold, cheerless day towards the end of October. The wind howled outside, and the rain beat against the window-panes, trickling down them in little dreary rivulets ; while indoors, Dulcie, wrapped in a warm flannel dressing-gown, was sitting in a large arm - chair, dreamily watching the flames leaping up the chimney and thinking of Bob.

She looked very delicate, like one who had just escaped the " Valley of Death," and there were great purple rings round her eyes which made them shine with double brilliancy, whilst the pretty soft curls had been shorn from the white temples, on which transparent blue veins now stood out in startling contrast. And yet — under circumstances very trying to most women — her loveliness was, if possible, augmented. It had grown more fragile, more ethereal and spiritual looking. Even her mother, as she sat opposite to her casting sidelong glances in the girl's direction could not help noticing how beautiful she had ? 5 become. Mrs. Shepperton fidgeted uneasily and wished Dulcie would speak, for this perpetual silence was horribly oppressive to a healthy person, though Dulcie did not seem to find it so, but appeared quite content to sit there perfectly still, idling away the time with that curious sort of far-away dreamy look in her eyes, and never uttering a word unless absolutely obliged.

It was so unendurable that at length Mrs. Shepperton hardened her heart and ventured on a remark that she had been longing for several days to make. " Dulcie," she said, speaking in tones of well assumed indifference, " I saw Mr. Denver this morning." Aha ! she had roused this immovable marble statue at last ! The girl gave a start, and a faint flush rose to her pale cheek, but she made no immediate reply. " He wished me to ask when you could see him, child ? " continued Mrs. Shepperton, suavely. " Never ! " cried Dulcie, with an animation hitherto undisplayed since her illness. " Why can't he leave me alone, and not bother me when I am unwell ? He must know that I don't care to see him," emphasising the pronoun contemptuously. " Surely he cannot imagine his society is likely to afford me any pleasure ?"

Her nerves were thoroughly unstrung, and in her present weak state the bare mention of Dennis Denver's name sufficed to upset them. She felt like some noble ship, who, her vitals having been reached by the storm, lies water-logged and be calmed, unable to face another gale. She wanted time to right herself, and her mother, she thought, should have taken these things into consideration, and not have tried to precipitate matters so injudiciously. " Sooner or later you will be forced to see Mr. Denver," said Mrs. Shepperton, coldly. " Let it be later then," with aUittle hard laugh. " I for one am not in a hurry." " But you can't expect him to take the same view of things, Dulcie. Men are differently con stituted to women, and consider that once they are engaged to a girl they have a right to be with her."

" Mamma," she said, putting her hand to her heart as if trying to still its beatings, " you must not hurry me too much. Remember how ill I have been, and, honestly, I do not yet feel equal to facing this ordeal. Besides," with an almost imper ceptible sneer, " Mr. Denver is scarcely the sort of ? 7 man who would care to behold his fiancee dressed in an old flannel dressing-gown. He thinks a great deal of outward appearances, and, as we know, judges people so entirely by them, that, even as a matter of policy, I should have thought it would have been wiser to wait until I am a little more decent-looking than at present. He might repent of his bargain, you know." She knew her mother thoroughly, and could not possibly have more artfully worded an appeal for delay, or brought more valid reasons to bear ; but Mrs. Shepperton had only that forenoon had a somewhat stormy interview with Mr. Denver, who had made her fully alive to the danger of not promptly yielding to his wishes.

" You are looking very well, Dulcie," she observed, after a slight pause. " Wonderfully well, indeed, taking all things into consideration, and we can easily smarten you up a bit." " What ! smarten me up for Mr. Denver, just like a fat ox being led to a cattle-show ? No, thank you." " Now, Dulcie, do be reasonable. He has asked to see you repeatedly, until, to tell truth, I am quite tired of refusing, and have exhausted every excuse I could think of." " Can't you invent a few fresh ones, mamma ? As a rule, your imagination is tolerably lively." Mrs. Shepperton cast one swift suspicious glance at Dulcie, but to her relief perceived the sentence had been uttered innocently, and without that special meaning which her guilty conscience hastily put upon it. But it made her feel more than ever how undesirable procrastination was.

It was quite clear to her mind that the longer Dulcie delayed seeing Mr. Denver, the more her dislike to doing so would increase, and she resolved, directly her daughter's health permitted, to hurry on the marriage as fast as possible. For after having, with great trouble and pertinacity, won an extremely hard-fought battle, Mrs. Shep perton had no notion of losing the fruits of victory by a sudden display of foolish clemency towards the conquered. And now that Dulcie was fairly on the road to convalescence, various qualms and stings of con science, experienced when the girl lay at death's door, vanished with most convenient expedition directly she was pronounced out of danger. In deed, Mrs. Shepperton already began to look back upon them as upon a reprehensible weakness of which she felt heartily ashamed.

" Mr. Denver is beginning to get impatient," ? 9 she observed, severely, " and, if you tax his for bearance too highly, he may, as you say, repent of his bargain, and, then," with a sinister smile, " where should we all be ? Why, he is paying our bills at the present moment, you foolish, ungrate ful girl, whilst half the delicacies you enjoy are provided by him, and come from his garden and hot-houses." Dulcie bent her head with a sense of increasing humiliation. " I only wish I had known it. I would not have touched one of them," she said. " Why did not you tell me this sooner, instead of allowing me to feast away in ignorance ? " " Because you are such a little simpleton, and have such idiotic ideas. But, after all his kind ness, you surely cannot refuse to see Mr. Denver, when, not unnaturally, he makes a point of your meeting ?

" " Very well, mamma," she said, resignedly, feeling further opposition impossible under the circumstances, " I leave the matter entirely in your hands. I suppose I shall have to get over the interview, and it's only a question of time." " That's all ! " acquiesced Mrs. Shepperton, cheerfully, charmed at having gained her point. " So there's no good in making a fuss about nothing ; besides which, I am sure no one could have behaved more kindly and considerately since your illness than Mr. Denver. Why, directly he heard how bad you were, he telegraphed off to London for Sir Joseph Parker to arrive, without whose skilful treatment you very probably might be reposing under the sods at this moment. You can imagine the expense, too, at a guinea a mile," waxing enthusiastic. " That's what I call some thing like love !

" " Nevertheless," sighed Dulcie, " I'm not a bit grateful. I didn't want to get well, and would far rather have died. Life seems so hard, and death so easy in comparison, that it is strange people clinging to the former in the way they do." " I wish you wouldn't moralise, child, in that horribly morbid fashion. Folks have no business to think about dying at eighteen. Come, come, cheer up. You are weak and ailing, and con sequently take all sorts of queer fancies into your head ; but by-and-by you will get stronger, and then we will go up to town for a while, and amuse ourselves ordering the trousseau. I'll be bound shopping will soon revive your spirits. You'll grow quite lively once you begin trying on new frocks every day, and buying smart bonnets and fallals." ? 11 Mrs. Shepperton herself could conceive of no more delightful mode of passing the time, and felt implicit faith in so pleasing a prospect producing an exhilarating effect upon Dulcie.

But Dulcie did not apparently regard matters from the same point of view, and her countenance, instead of brightening, lengthened very visibly. " Mamma," she said, with a little inward shiver, " would you oblige me by not talking about the — the trousseau — at least, not just at present — and please remember, once for all, that neither the presents, the finery, nor the frocks possess the slightest charm for me. Such things may please girls who are happy in the idea of getting married, who look forward to the prospect of being united to the man they love, but how can they possibly please me, or seem other than a mockery ? Can't you understand that I would far sooner dispense with all fuss and ceremony ? " Mrs. Shepperton highly disapproved of the tone of martyrdom Dulcie was choosing to adopt.

It produced an uncomfortable effect upon her * still, she attributed the major portion of the girl's reluctance to her weak condition, and hoped matters would improve as she grew stronger. " Tut, tut, child ! You are the most eccentric individual I ever came across ! " she exclaimed with a shade of irritation, produced by such incon ceivable sentiments. " However, one comfort is, Mr. Denver is certain to insist upon your being properly dressed, as befitting your new and exalted station in life." Her intentions were doubtless good, but she was utterly deficient in tact. " Mamma, if you do not wish to drive me per fectly wild, please do not interlard all your con versation with Mr. Denver's name. It will be quite time enough for him to insist when the — the marriage," shuddering involuntarily, " has been celebrated ; until then he cannot expect to assume the reins of authority, and dictate to me as if I were his property.

I have made one very great concession to-day, and have signified my willing ness to receive him ; pray be content with that, and do not ask or expect too much all at once." " Pooh, Dulcie ! how silly and hot-tempered you are ! I was not asking anything. However, I will tell Mr. Denver he may come and pay you a visit to-morrow, unless you consider it too soon." " Too soon ! " she echoed, drearily. " Will it not always be too soon so far as I am concerned ? Yes, let him come to-morrow, if he chooses * the operation is sharp, but it had better take place without delay." ? 13 This concluding observation angered Mrs. Shep perton considerably; but she was beginning to feel a little afraid of Dulcie — afraid of her strange caustic remarks, of her white sorrowful face and big reproachful eyes. Therefore she wisely refrained from any further discussion, and, having as usual gained her point, stole out of the room at the earliest opportunity.

In her innermost consciousness she could not help feeling that she had sorely betrayed the girl, taking an unfair advantage of her generous dispo sition; and, though she tried to justify her conduct by a variety of worldly reasonings, she was unable to do so, so completely as to render their inter course either easy or unconstrained. During the above colloquy little Nipper had been lying curled up on the hearthrug at Dulcie's feet, with his pretty pointed head resting cosily on his two hind paws. Bob Mornington had sent him over to Milnacot Lodge the day of his departure, with a message saying he was to be given to Dulcie ; and Mrs. Shepperton — with her daughter's touching screams and entreaties still ringing in her ears — had not dared to refuse to take him in. So that, now the dog had become a recognised institution, Mrs. Shepperton merely testifying her disapproval by ignoring him completely, and profiting by every opportunity to run down the canine species in general.

Now, directly her mother had disappeared, Dulcie threw herself down on the hearthrug, by Nipper's side, with an utter abandonment, keenly significant of a weary and overladen spirit. At the cost of her own happiness, she had performed a truly noble action, but, now that the petty daily results of that action were becoming more and more apparent, her courage broke down before the magnitude of this self-imposed task. It seemed, indeed, harder than she could bear ; her powers of endurance were not so great as she had imagined, and she feared at any moment a collapse might occur. The tears started to her eyes. The least thing made them come nowadays ; she had no physical strength left, and, although the doctor declared she was gradually improving, she felt no better really, no better at heart, but just as sick and tired and hopeless as ever.

Ten minutes' conversation with Bob would have beaten all the medicines in the world ; but that was exactly the one remedy denied her, and, unless she could obtain what she wanted, she told herself she should never get well. Any progress would only be outward and illusory. ? 15 Thus thinking, she took the little dog in her arms, and tenderly stroked his smooth white hide. " Oh ! Nipper, Nipper," she sobbed, whilst the big drops rolled down her cheeks, " you are all that is left to me now — I have nothing else to love but you ; and you and I are companions in mis fortune, and ought to be kind to one another, since we have both lost the dear master we are so fond of. I think you are sorry he has gone, Nipper, and miss him a good bit, but not so much as I do," rocking herself to and fro — " not so much as I do, for that would be impossible."

Nipper looked up into her moist countenance with bright intelligent eyes, wagged his tail once or twice sympathetically, stretched out his legs, and gave a little melancholy whimper, as much as to say he understood what she was saying; anyhow, it pleased Dulcie to think that he did. " You are a good dog, Nipper," she murmured, caressingly, " a dear, good, sensible dog, and you will like me to talk about Bob now and again, when we are quite alone, just by our own two selves, won't you ? I can confide in you, Nipper, and tell you how miserable I am, without any fear of your making mischief, or repeating my con fidences. And you must get fond of me, Nipper, if only for the sake of him who has gone away. He used to like me, dogsy, so you will too, won't you?" And then the silly child kissed Nipper as if he had been a human being, and fondled him and cried over him, whilst he licked her face and hands all unreproved.

The grey twilight crept softly into the room, rendering its outlines indis tinct, and the fire cast dancing shadows on the walls. And outside the wind grew hushed and the rain ceased pattering to the ground, whilst one by one the silvery stars came out, until the whole heavens were sparkling with diamonds, after the dreary day, decking themselves in their loveliest and bravest jewels. She lay there perfectly still, feeling a sense of rest from the darkness and the solitude, while a craving for repose filled her being. Half an hour afterwards Marian stumbled over her prostrate body as she entered the room and searched the mantelpiece for matches. " Dulcie," she cried, with a start, " is that you ? What on earth have you been doing ? " " Nothing, Marian. Only thinking about things in general, and myself in particular — a bad habit, I admit, since it seldom leads to any good results."

" Thinking, you naughty girl ? In my character of nurse, I shall have to administer a severe ? 17 lecture, for is not that exactly what the doctor expressly forbade ? " " Ah ! Marian, I only wish I could obey him and forget the past, with all its memories and regrets." Marian's eyes glistened suspiciously. Her heart ached so for Dulcie, although she did not fully understand, everything that had taken place. She put her arms lovingly round the girl's waist, gently, but firmly, raised her from the ground, and, pillowing the poor, weary head on her bosom, whispered softly — " Don't cry, Dulcie, darling. Mamma told me how good and brave you have been." For Mrs. Shepperton had vouchsafed a one sided explanation, in order to stop any indiscreet questionings. " Oh, Marian, I shall never see Bob any more!" weeping bitterly.

" Hush, dearest, don't distress yourself by talk ing about it ; and remember, nothing can alter my affection for you. If ever I can help you I will. Bob made me promise to be good to you before he left." Dulcie dried her eyes, feeling decidedly com forted, for Marian's kind words and evident sympathy infused fresh strength into her heart, VOL. III. C giving it courage to look forward more calmly to to-morrow's interview. Marian had always been her favourite sister, and now she clung to her for support as a drowning man clings to a floating spar. She neither wanted nor expected any thanks for the sacrifice she had made, but some slight recognition of it could not help being acceptable to her feelings. Praise may prove fatal to narrow, egotisical, self-satisfied natures, but it often acts as a wholesome stimulant on more generous dis positions.

Marian's kindness came to Dulcie as rain comes to a drooping, parched-up flower, or as a ray of sunshine to some poor prisoner whose dazed eyes are accustomed to continual gloom. It gave her fortitude to proceed unto the bitter end, not to flinch from the task that had been imposed upon her, and which she had promised to undertake. Bob's last words and last thoughts had been for her, and in that fact she took com fort.

Chapter II. Breaking The Ice

On the following day, a little before the hour ap pointed for Mr. Denver's arrival, Mrs. Shepperton produced a smart satin tea-gown from the recesses of her wardrobe, and insisted upon Dulcie immediately arraying her person therein. " What on earth does it matter, mamma, how I look ? " she protested rebelliously. " Matter ? " replied Mrs. Shepperton. " Of course it matters. It matters very much indeed. There's no reason why you should appear a regular fright when Mr. Denver is coming." " Mamma," said Dulcie, nervously, " will you grant me a favour ? Will you promise to stop in the room all the while ? " Mrs. Shepperton laughed outright at the guile lessness of this demand. c2 " Well, you are an extraordinary child. Do you suppose Mr. Denver is coming all this way on purpose to see me, whom he has seen any time these last three weeks ?

No, certainly not. It's you he wishes to pay his respects to." "But, mamma, if you don't mind stopping," pleaded Dulcie. " Nonsense ! Of course you and he must be left by yourselves. He'll have ever so much to say to you, and want to talk over a variety of different things. Besides, when you are going to live with a man all your life, it's really too ridiculous taking fright at the idea of being left alone in the room with him for a quarter of an hour. What are you afraid of, silly ? Do you imagine that Mr. Denver is an ogre, ready to gobble you up ? " Seeing further solicitations were but so much wasted breath, Dulcie yielded the point and re lapsed into silence. She could not explain why or wherefore it was she so dreaded this first inter view. Perhaps she remembered the scene that had occurred in the garden, and feared demon strations of affection from which she could only shrink with horror, however much she might struggle to conceal the feeling.

Thus thinking, she sat painfully awaiting the momentous arrival of her betrothed, schooling herself to behave with a decent show of civility. She recalled what her mother had said about Mr. Denver's kindness, and endeavoured to keep that fact prominently before her mind in order that it might influence her in his favour. How unfortunately everything had turned out, to be sure. Lots of girls might have fancied him, or — even without any special preference, taking his wealth into consideration — have been perfectly contented. Why could not she ? In her place, would not Ethel have felt satisfied ? nay, more than satisfied — delighted ; and yet her heart died within her at the prospect of becoming Dennis Denver's wife, or any man's wife but Bob's. Ah ! Bob, dear Bob, might it not have been better for both of them if they had never met or never known each other ?

If, for a few brief days, they had not tasted such exquisite joy, might they not at least have been spared the present pain, the present bitterness of parting ? An imperative knock at the door, followed by Mr. Denver's immediate entry, put a stop to her meditations, and recalled her to the business of the hour. He had not seen her since her illness, andj although Mrs. Shepperton had warned him that he must expect to find a great change, he was shocked at the terribly fragile appearance she* presented. It is one thing hearing of a serious malady, another realising its results. And yet, he could not help noticing, pale and thin as she had grown, and white as were her cheeks, that she was more lovely than ever, while the large star-like eyes sank every other feature in the face into insignificance.

They were so clear, so lumi nous and pathetic, that they aroused both his pity and his admiration. He remained in total igno rance of the means by which the girl's submission had been brought about, and, imagining it was voluntary, now advanced towards her, with all the alacrity of an ardent and confident lover, intent upon a first embrace. But she, as if anticipating some such intention on his part, and determined to forestall it, put out her hand with a hasty detaining gesture, and said coldly — " How do you do, Mr. Denver ? " This unlooked-for and frigid reception succeeded in placing an unwelcome check on the exuberance of his lover-like spirits. He drew back a step or two, seated himself at a tolerably respectful distance, coughed two or three times rather uneasily,, and then said — " I wish you would not call me Mr. Denver.

It sounds so horribly formal." " What other name would you have me em ploy?" " Oh ! I don't know. Dennis, or " — with a somewhat lame attempt at jocularity — " Denny, or anything, in fact, that you like. You may take your choice." " In that case," she returned, quietly, " I prefer sticking to Mr. Denver. I'm used to it, and it seems more natural and more respectful." The idea of her ever calling him " Denny ! " He stroked his red beard angrily, feeling it to be rather a strong order that the girl he was engaged to should begin talking so early in the day of what was " natural and respectful " in their relations towards each other. When she was his wife it might be all very well, but at present he would have preferred a little less propriety and a little more enthusiasm. Somehow she possessed, in a great degree, the unpleasant; knack of shaking his complacency to its very foundations, and mak ing him suspect that her estimation of his worth was many degrees less high than the one he himself entertained — a state of affairs which, be tween an affianced couple, was disconcerting in the extreme.

Besides, at the present moment, he laboured under an awkwardness incidental to men possessing rude health when suddenly introduced into a sick chamber. Therefore, he thought it prudent to drop the subject under discussion, especially as it seemed a rather hazardous one, and, at all events for the time being, to allow her to retain what form of nomenclature she pleased. Consequently, he essayed a fresh topic of conver sation, hoping that after a bit it might lead up to some more encouraging opening. " You've been awfully seedy," he said, looking at her with genuine concern, " and I'm uncommonly sorry to see you in this state ; but I hope you'll begin to pick up now, and be quite strong and well again before many weeks have passed." " Thank you. I am nearly well already — at least," she said to herself, " as well as I am ever likely to be after all that has come and gone."