The Right Sort; or, a romance of the shires

Chapter I

Mes. Foeeestee having once undertaken a benevolent mission, had no idea of allowing it to remain at a standstill. Like an ex perienced general, she considered the position in all its bearings, and despising inanition as a condition only worthy chrysalises and dor mice, at once threw out skirmishers, and de termined upon immediate action. It was owing to the decisions thus arrived at, that on Sunday morning, when she made her first appearance below stairs, Kate received the following epistle, written in a bold, manly hand. " Deae Miss Beewsee, " Will you and Miss Whitbread excuse a short invitation, and give me tbe pleasure of your company at dinner to-morrow night, at 7.30 o'clock ? I have asked Colonel Clinker VOL. il. B and one or two of our Foxington exquisites to meet you, but it will only be quite a small party, for to begin with, I dislike any others, and secondly, have neither the appliances nor the establishment suitable to a large ' func tion.' That, I believe, is the correct word now-a-days, is it not ?

With kind regards, " Believe me sincerely yours, " Jane Foeeestee. " P.S. — I shall take it as a particular favour if you will come, and by so doing prove that my unfortunate mention of a certain little episode, which shall remain nameless, has been forgiven." Clever old lady ! She felt convinced that this artfully worded postscript would clinch the matter. " The girl's as proud as Lucifer," she said to herself with a chuckle while sealing up the note, "and rather than let me think she is afraid to meet Colonel Clinker, will come, unless my experience of human nature be fallacious." And Mrs. Forrester's previsions turned out as correct as they generally were. Her observations on mankind being second only in perspicuity to those on horseflesh and cattle. Now since the preceding afternoon, Kate's indignation had cooled to a very considerable extent, as is often the case with people, who having indulged in a fit of anger, before long experience a natural revulsion, which makes them begin to enquire bow far their conduct has been justified, and whether passion may not have over-ruled common sense ?

The human mind is so constituted, as to oftentimes render a sort of dual vision possible, which presenting both sides of a question, opens out a plea of extenuating circumstances, until like a ball on the rebound, whose every spring grows feebler and feebler, wrath dies away altogether. Kate had by no means arrived at this peaceable frame of mind, never theless, she was undergoing that preliminary stage when the conduct and actions of self, glanced at retrospectively, did not appear so wholly and entirely satisfactory as they had done only a few hours previously. The in tervention of a night's good sleep exercises a sedative and beneficial influence on the temper. People retire to rest, determined upon adopting some particular line of action, yet so soothing and tranquillizing are the arms of Morpheus, so salutarily and whole somely does slumber work on the irritated brain, that morning frequently brings, if not a complete transformation, at least a marked modification of hostile views, while calm reflection tends to temper irascibility with moderation.

Various emotions filled Kate's mind when she recalled the passage of arms she had had with Colonel Clinker the day before. She resolved in future to treat the offending party with a cool civility, which should be far more galling than mere paltry words, and which should suffice to maintain her womanly dignity against any relapse into vulgar retalia tion. She was conscious of not having come out of the fray with flying colours, but now these grandiose resolutions arrived at, it really appeared an unpardonable act of folly, and one quite unworthy the masterly position she intended assuming, to decline to meet Colonel Clinker at the house of a mutual friend. Would not the very act of her en deavouring to avoid him be a sign of cowardice and defeat ? and would not her doing so in vest that gentleman with an importance he THE RIGHT SORT. was very very far from possessing ?

So far as Colonel Clinker affected her — Kate Brewser — he was an absolute cipher, and likely to remain so. Under these circum stances, why should he be so greatly honoured as to influence, or even be supposed to possess the power of influencing a single one of her actions ? The thing was ridiculous, absurd, preposterous ! So she said to herself repeatedly, each time with increasing conviction. After all, Mrs. Forrester had been right in saying she was her own mistress, and could follow the bent of her own inclina tions. What if Colonel Clinker had backed himself to marry her ? It took two to make a match, and in the meantime, might there not be a certain fitful pleasure in discomfiting the adventurer, in fighting him with his own weapons, in rendering coolness for coolness, sarcasm for sarcasm ?

The idea fascinated her. It would be like acting in a farce, and she felt thoroughly equal to the part, diamond cut diamond ! Her mind was made up, and henceforth she vowed to preserve a demeanour of rigid, cold and unbending in difference. Mrs. Forrester's appeal had struck a right chord, and found Kate in a mood suitable to its reception. But the form of consulting Mary Whitbread had still to be gone through, therefore she said to her innocent friend — " Mary, immense excitement! A perfect vortex of dissipation ! How should you like to go to a dinner party to-morrow night ? Is your best bib and tucker ready, or do you consider it too great a sin against the pro prieties for two marriageable females to dine out alone ? " " Kate ! I do wish you would not turn everything into ridicule ! What do you mean ?

" said Mary in tones of mild repri mand. " Mean ? my dear ! Why, what I say, of course. We're asked out to dinner. You and I." " -And who has been good enough to honour us with an invitation ? " " Mrs. Forrester. She wants us to go to morrow night. She called here the other day, only you did not see her, because you happened to be out. However, I suppose it's all right, and the conventionalities have not been outraged so far ? " " Is Mrs. Forrester married ? '' " I presume she either is or has been, you little goose, but what on earth has that got to to do with it ? " " Oh, nothing. I was only wondering. Of course, even a widow does not occupy quite the same position as when her husband is alive." " Do you mean to say we are to decline the invitation simply because Colonel Forrester happens to be defunct ?

" exclaimed Kate, shrugging her shoulders. " Now, Kate, don't fly off at a tangent. I merely wanted to discover who Mrs. For rester was. There is no harm in that, surely." " Mary, you're too full of social scruples altogether. Carried to such an extent they become ridiculous. What on earth does it matter to us who Mrs. Forrester was ? What she is, is quite sufficient, and I tell you she is a funny, amusing, jolly old thing, excellent company, clever, and devoted to sport. What more can a body want ? She is the first person who has shown us any civility, and I consider we are bound to accept the invitation, if only for politeness's sake." " Certainly, Kate. I am perfectly willing." " Talk of proprieties indeed ! " continued Kate, waxing eloquent. " What a mercy it will be when we can afford to ignore the hateful word altogether.

We shall be old frumps then with grey hair and crow's feet, and wrinkles ; but no matter," laughing in spite of herself at this seemingly unrealiz able picture, " we'll do something desperate, something startling, Mary, just to show we appreciate our emancipation from les conve nances. I think I'll turn Robinson Crusoe." " Come, Kate, you're talking nonsense. Let's hear some more about the party. Is anyone else going to be there ? " " Dear me ! I quite forgot to tell you that Mrs. Forrester says she has asked some of the Foxington beaux on purpose for your beaux yeux to annihilate. There's a chance for you, young woman." " Kate ! what a shocking bad pun." " It's not a pun at all, miss. It's a jeu de mots. So don't display your ignorance. You won't object to making the poor young men's acquaintance, will you, Mary," she added slyly, " simply because you don't happen to be posted up in the number of their ancestors, or the exact social position occupied by those worthy progenitors ?

Even if blue blood does not course through tbe veins of their offspring, their pockets may be none the less well stocked." " Now I'm not going to listen to you any longer," said Mary playfully. " You're in a nasty mood this morning, and turn everything one says awry. So sit down and write your note to Mrs. Forrester, for the messen ger is waiting to take back an answer." " Yes, let it be then. The die is cast,'' said Kate dramatically, as she sat down with a flourish to the writing table, and wrote Mrs. Forrester an exceedingly civil little letter, in which she took the opportunity of assuring that lady the incident referred to had proved so unworthy animosity that it had long ago passed from the confines of her memory. And Mrs. Forrester, when she read the contents, once more chuckled complacently, and said to herself, " Aha ! that Miss Brewser is a deep 'un, deeper and prouder even than I thought for.

All the better. If it comes to pitting her brains against mine, we shall see who gains the day. Poor Jack ! He's a dear good fellow, but it's lucky for him I took the thing in hand, he never could have pulled through by himself. The fact of the matter is these heiresses get spoilt, and are as artful and as crooked in their ways as an old vixen in the month of March. There's no running them straight anyhow." With which reflection Mrs. Forrester withdrew her Sunday gown, replaced it by her work-a-day skirt, and retired to the pig sty to administer a dose of sweet nitre to an expectant mother, whose hopes threatened to be blighted by a troublesome cough. On the following morning Kate went out with Sir Beauchamp Lenard's hounds. Being a wet day, Mary Whitbread preferred re maining in tbe house, and Kate elected to hack out to covert.

In the event of meeting Colonel Clinker, she had decided on bowing politely but frigidly, and avoiding any attempt at conversation. Curiously enough, however, that gentleman's conduct appeared to have been regulated by a precisely similar train of thought, for when he saw Kate he made an icy salutation, and never once throughout the day offered to come near her. No one seeing the pair would ever have guessed they not only were acquainted, but had ridden amicably home together, side by side, for several miles. Colonel Clinker treated her like the veriest stranger, and evi dently declined to presume upon an introduction so informally obtained. At first she was not ill-pleased by this state of things, feeling it removed much cause for embarrass ment, but as the hours passed on and she began to fancy that he not only kept at a distance, but did so with intention, then her feelings underwent a curious and unaccount able revolution.

She felt hurt, and thought, in spite of their httle tiff, he need not have been quite — quite so stand-off. If she were ready to forgive, so at least might he. Women, indeed, are strangely contradictory beings, hard to please, and oftentimes scarcely knowing themselves what it is they really wish for. Had Jack Clinker come up to Kate early in the morning and tried to make his peace, she most assuredly would have shown him the cold shoulder, and probably seized the very first opportunity of establish ing a quarrel, but, as he behaved in exactly the same way she herself had prescribed, and SOET. never volunteered to address a single remark to her, or after the first formal bow give the least sign of recognition, why she must needs feel exceedingly mortified and dis pleased. As for Jack Clinker, had his conduct been the result of the most profound strategy, instead of wounded vanity, he could not possibly have displayed more truly Machiavellian tactics, or ones more calcu lated to bring the young lady to her senses.

Nevertheless he was guiltless of any such astute diplomacy, and simply kept aloof because he did not know how his advances might be received, and because be was too proud to place himself in a false position. Kate, on the contrary, had so construed his parting words as to imagine be would seize tbe first opportunity of renewing her acquaintance, and when she found he bad no intention of doing so, felt decidedly humili ated. Such is woman's nature. An adorer whose love is true, and the knowledge of whose conquest is assured, meets but with cold reward ; while the fickle, unsteadfast, inconstant, slippery wooer, occupies her whole thoughts and attention. That afternoon Kate Brewser once again THE EIGHT SOET. rode home by herself, but the ride was com paratively tame and uneventful. The gates were easy ones, the Duckling stood like a lamb, and pushed them gently with his nose, and no knight errant's services were required for the relief of a distressed damsel.

Under these favourable conditions it might reasonably have been expected the damsel herself should be content, but strange to say tbe damsel returned in a dissatisfied and taciturn mood, not wholly to be accounted for by a moist day and the heavy unpleasant clinging of a saturated habit. "Have you enjoyed yourself, Kate?" asked M ary Whitbread, who, sitting before a cosy fire, was warming her little feet on the fender. " Not a bit. We've had a wretched day's sport. Done absolutely nothing, and all I've got for my pains is a thorough good soaking." Whereupon Kate stalked upstairs without deigning to enter into any further explana tions concerning the shortcomings of the weather and the uncertainty of foxhunting. " Nothing is so nice as one thinks it before hand," she mused dismally. " Fruition brings but Dead Sea ashes.'' Whereby it may be seen the young lady was inclined to take a very desponding view of life on this particular evening, which did not, however, prevent her bestowing an un usual amount of thought as to which garment in her possession, black, white, pink, or blue, proved most becoming to her special style of beauty.

In fact, the maid felt greatly astonished by her mistress's unaccus tomed solicitude. " She's a-going to meet somebody, I b'lieve, for she was mighty fussy, and quite put about, 'cause 'er 'air 'ad got out o' curl with the rain, and would not take the hirons proper," confided Miss Susan Smart to old Maggie that evening over a choice slice of grilled mutton. " You mind your own business, lass," re joined she, "and don't fash your head about the affairs o' them placed over you. No good ever comes of trying to know too much i' this warld. A wee slip o' a bairn like yourself should not pass remarks or tell tales out o' school." Thus admonished, Miss Susie hid her rosy face in a mug of beer, and smacked her moist lips in defiance. " It's all one to me," she said with a toss of her head, and looking very mysterious.

" But I knows what I knows." " Which is mickle little any way," retorted old Maggie. "So joost try and keep it to yourself, and give your bump o' knowledge the chance o' increasing, for I reckon it is sairly needed, and ye are but a puir feckle creetur at best." " There's them as speaks different to that," said Miss Susie, thinking of the pretty speeches John, the footman, a young man of precociously amatory tendencies, was wont to whisper into her ear on the back stairs of an evening, when old Maggie headed the pro cession of female servants on their way to bed. " It's not everyone is so ' dour ' of tongue as yerself, Mistress Maggie." " And do ye suppose I should ha' been where I am noo, and kep' my place, all these years and years had it na been so ? " returned she with asperity. " But I will na prolong the argument, for it is joost waste o' precious time.'-' Whereupon old Maggie having finished eating, took up a stocking and began darn ing it in vigorous silence.

Kate had ended by choosing a simple white gown made of some soft, clinging material,. which fitted her to perfection, setting forth the lines of her slim yet rounded figure admirably. A single row of pearls encircled her slender white throat, above which the shining hair was arranged in smooth dark coils. She looked well, as did also Mary Whit bread, attired in black, which suited her fair complexion far better than brilliant colour ing. Twenty minutes sufficed to bring them to their destination, where they deposited their outer wrappings in the hall ; after which they were shown into a small but well lit room, plainly and comfortably furnished in an old-fashioned, substantial style. A bright fire flamed on the hearth, round which Mrs. Forrester and three or four men were already congregated, deep in a horsey-foxey conversation, such as usually prevails in tbe Shires during the hunting season, when all other topics pale before the all-absorbin°- O subject of the chase, and even politics are lightly touched upon and as lightly left alone.

" How do you do, Miss Brewser ? So very good of you coming on such a short informal invitation," said their hostess significantly, as she advanced to welcome her guests. She was dressed in a high dark silk, with a white cap, stuck a little awry on the top of her head, suggesting the idea of having been perched there rather by accident than by design, and in this attire so much more closely resembled her sex than in the day time, that Kate at first scarcely recognized her quondam acquaintance. " I don't pre tend to give grand dinners," continued Mrs. Forrester. " My chef de cuisine is not nearly accomplished enough for that ! You see a lone old woman does not require much in the eating way, and gastronomic luxuries are really wasted upon me. I care for nothing but a bit of plain mutton or beef, and detest all your made up kickshaws.

However, I told you beforehand, you must not expect much, and that we should only be a small party." " I'm so glad of it," said Kate, pleasantly. " I think large London dinner parties a most terrible infliction. One's ordinary fate is always to be taken down by some epicurean octogenarian, who after tucking his napkin VOL. II. carefully under bis chin, applies himself studiously to the pleasures of the table, and never makes a remark except to criticize each dish in succession as it is handed round. Conversation, under such circumstances, labours like a foundered horse, growing more and more spasmodic in its efforts, until at last it comes to a complete standstill. No, no ! Depend upon it, from six to eight is the right number." " We have hit on a happy medium then, for we are exactly seven," replied Mrs. For rester cheerfully.

" But now let me intro duce you and Miss Whitbread to my friends Captain Fuller, Mr. Graham, Mr. McGrath, and Colonel Clinker. The latter is a celebrity, so I need say nothing about him, especially since be is looked upon as our Foxington lion, by the rural population, whose minds are fas cinated by bis achievements." "Does the lion growl?" asked Kate, maliciously. " Jack," said the old lady, " come here and answer that question for yourself. Miss Brewser wants to know if you growl ? " " Yes, and show fight too, when unfairly attacked," he replied, with meaning. "The lion may be a noble animal, but there are limits even to his endurance." Kate blushed. " Lions are useful on oc casions," she said with a sort of half apology, determined on producing some change in his cool demeanour. " I think you and I have met before."

" I remember the circumstance well, Miss Brewser." " Indeed ! Your memory appeared to me uncommonly short." " Not shorter, if you will forgive me for saying so, than other people's." " What ? " here interrupted Mrs. Forres ter. " Do you mean to say you two are old acquaintances ? " She felt disappointed at finding an introduction had evidently been effected without her intervention. Her be setting foible consisted in liking to be con sidered as the mainspring of a clock, without which the works could not fulfil their func tions. For the clock to go and she to have been uninstrumental in setting it in motion, was a direct infringement of her natural rights. " Not precisely old acquaintances," cor rected Kate, emphasizing the adjective, " merely very casual ones." SOET. " Yes ! extremely casual ones," assented Colonel Clinker, with a readiness which somehow exasperated her not a little.

" So casual indeed, that Miss Brewser appeared^ when we last met in the hunting field, to have entirely ignored the existence of such a humble individual as myself." " Why, I bowed to you. What more would you have had me do ? " " Oh ! nothing," with irritating sang froid. " A frigid inclination of the head was sufficient to satisfy my utmost aspirations. I am not ambitious." " Few men are at your time of life, but you appear highly contradictory." " Do I ? If so I cannot lay claim to any originality. Even ladies are inclined to be so at times." Kate coloured again. She began to find this exchange of witticisms less favourable to her own powers of retaliation than she had expected. Her temper was rising. " Come, come ! " Mrs. Forrester exclaimed, once more intervening. " I can't have you two sparring at each other.

Jack ! I'm curious, and want to know bow you made this young lady's acquaintance ? " SORT. " That's easily explained," said he. " Miss Brewser happened to stand in need of a little assistance, one day coming home from hunt ing, and I was fortunate enough to be able to render it, in place of a groom. Indeed I'm not quite certain that she did not mistake me for one. She probably intended offering me a vacant situation, which is the only way I can account for the profound sorrow she ex pressed on discovering my ineligibility." ■ He spoke in tones of airy levity, nevertheless his eyes fastened themselves upon Kate's with an expression of quiet sarcasm. She was clever and quick witted, and in her intercourse with men, was often accustomed. to feeling a superiority of intellect, but for once beneath that calm collected exterior, she recognized a master spirit.

She would like to have trampled upon him, to have beaten him down morally into the dust, to bave shown her own greater power, and then perhaps have ultimately displayed forgiveness, but now, to her no small surprise, the tables were turned, and she it was, not he, who appeared likely to suffer defeat. . .•- In the meantime dinner was announced, which gave her an opportunity of collecting THE RIGHT SOET. her wits, for Colonel Clinker offered his arm to the hostess, Mr. McGrath came forward to claim Kate, while Mary Whitbread fell to the portion of the fascinating Captain Fuller, who, however, having lost a considerable sum at his club in town on Saturday night — or rather Sunday morning — happened to be in a less sprightly, and more taciturn mood than usual. After a little preliminary bustle, they seated themselves at table, when Kate found the enemy had taken up a strong position on the right, while Mr. McGrath supported the left division.

" You're looking a little pale this evening, Mrs. Forrester," said he. " Nothing the matter I hope ? You're not feeling seedy ? " " A liver attack," she replied with her customary bluntness. " Not very serious, only requires plenty of fresh air and exercise. One gets fat and lazy in the summer. That reminds me of rather a good story. I met an old farm labourer of mine the other morning, and he happened to make the very same remark. ' Yes, Dan,' I said to him, ' I've been a good bit troubled with biliousness lately, I fancy the cold clay soil is to blame.' Dan looked at me, and touched SOET. his cap. 'Mrs. Forrester ma'am,' said he, ' I could give ye a receipt, as would put yer right in a trivet. It cured me in no time.' ' Yes, Dan, what is it ?' ' Why marm, jest yer get oop, every morning at five o' the clock, and knock about dung heaps for a couple of hourn.

It be the finest exercise in the warld, and jest exc'llent for the con stitootion.' " Everyone laughed. " I expect Dan's olfactory nerves were not very sensitive," remarked Captain Fuller. " Did you ever follow his advice, Mrs. For rester ? " " Well, I can't say that I did, though I confess to being greatly tickled by the idea. Its primitiveness struck me as highly re freshing, and poor Dan's receipt was kindly volunteered. By-the-bye, Miss Brewser, that was a nice useful-looking nag you were riding to-day. Not so showy perhaps as the chestnut, but with capital good points, and looks like a wear and tear sort of customer.'' " You've described him to a nicety," said Kate in reply. " The Duckling is a stout, honest little beast, never sick or sorry, but until he gets excited inclined to take life SORT almost too easily if anything.

He lacks the chestnut's dash." " Have you ever ridden him with a spur? " " No, I can't say that I have. To tell the truth, I feel somewhat afraid of applying it indiscriminately, and am convinced I should always be using it unintentionally." " Oh ! no you wouldn't. You take my advice, and ride him in one, if only for a time or two. The least touch is often sufficient to rouse a sluggish horse. They are apt to get cunning when ridden by ladies, and an occasional reminder does them all the good in the world. I know many people object to a onesided spur, and say it's worse than useless, but my experience tends to prove exactly the reverse. I consider it a most valuable auxiliary, especially with a certain class of animal." " Faith ! and a better authority does not exist in the whole of Great Britain," inter posed Mr. McGrath, looking round the table with an expression of conviction which seemed to say.

" There ! I defy anyone to contradict that statement ! " " Now Terry, keep your national blarney for those who appreciate it," returned the old lady vivaciously, "and don't waste your soft sawder upon me. I'm too ancient for that sort of thing, and past the market." " Begad ! but it's rale unkind that ye are, Mrs. Forrester, mavourneen," exclaimed Mr. McGrath, adopting the very strongest brogue. " And a clever fay male like yerself can always command a market." " Thank you, my good friend ! You are exceedingly flattering, and were I a young girl my head would be quite turned with such a complimentary speech." " Shure Mrs. Forrester, and if ye were but a wee bit spalpeen, it would be for trying to persuade ye to become Mrs. Terence McGrath, that I should aspire." " Then it's lucky for you that I am not, and you are deterred from committing so crown ing an act of folly," retorted the old lady amidst a general roar of laughter.

" Your heart's too big for your body, Terry ; and altogether too much for your common-sense, so let us change the subject. Jack," turning to Colonel Clinker, " I've got something to tell you, something I was particularly requested by a fair admirer to consult you about. Are you all attention ? " " Am I not always so when addressed by the Mother of the Hunt ? " returned he gallantly. " Who is the lady, and wherefore does she seek advice from so incompetent a person as myself ? " " A great friend of yours, Lady Anne Birkett. I met her to-day in Tweedle's shop, bent on the charitable errand of buying flannel and blankets for some poor parishioners. She's a good girl that ! However, to get to the point, always the chief difficulty of story-telling when the temptations to digress are so numerous — she, Lady Anne, is mad about getting up a lady's steeplechase.

You remember there was some talk of doing so last winter, only the project fell to the ground through want of proper backing. But this year it appears the old Earl has taken up the affair con amore, and has signified his intention of allowing the race to be run over his land, provided some competent person — such as yourself for instance — will undertake to choose a suitable course, and see that the fences are not too large and dangerous. It won't do, he says, for the ladies to come to grief ; neither will he allow the thing to be made public in any way, but if a few of us choose to get it up among ourselves, and can ensure some four or five starters, why he will present a handsome silver cup to the winner. Now, Lady Anne, when she heard you were coming here to-night, particularly asked me to seek your opinion on this momentous question, and engage, if possible, your active co-operation.