A reed shaken with the wind: a love story

Front matter

A REED SHAKEN WITH THE WIND: % fofa« gtorg. BY Æ, EMILY FAITHFULL. ** The variable as the shade, By the light quivering aspen made." Marmioh. PW YORK: ADAMS, VICTOR & CO., PUBLISHERS, 98 WILLIAM STREET. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year $873, by ADAMS, VICTOR & CO., In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. Stereotyped at the WOMEN'S PRINTING HOUSE, Na 2 Mission Place, bet. Park and Worth Sts., one block East of Centre, New York. BlW€IfWi. TO MY FRIEND, LAURA CURTIS BULLARD, WHO RECEIVED ME ON MY FIRST ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK, AND WHO, TOGETHER WITH HER FAMILY AND MANY OF HER Noblest Pountrvmen and Women, gave me a pleasant experience OF GENUINE AMERICAN HOSPITALITY, Which I shall ever Remember with Affectionate Gratitude. •-Whirling away Like leaf in the wind, Points of attachment Left daily behind. Fixed to no principle. Fast to no friend. Such our fidelity, Where is the end ? " Henry Alford.

Preface

. This story is a simple analysis of one of the most dangerous phases of female character — a phase, alas ! but too common in fashionable city life, on both sides of the Atlantic. I have seen with my own eyes the curious combination of intellectual power and instability of purpose portrayed in Tiny Harewood ; I have watched with an aching heart the shifting weaknesses and faint struggles for redemption described in these pages ; I have known women, equally and honestly critical of their own faults, who, while capa ble of assuming the philosophical and moral tone, occasionally adopted by my heroine, and displaying a cool acumen and penetration of ethical questions, like her, persistently " the wrong pursued." Gifted with phys ical and mental attractions, although conscious of higher and nobler aspirations, some appeared unable to resist the temptation of exercising their perilous love of power, and accordingly drifted hopelessly away into the shallows and quicksands of life, extinguishing God's light in the soul by the myriad conventional crimes which are under Preface. the shelter of social, but not within the pale of moral, laws.

If the delineation of the chameleon nature of my Eng lish heroine, and the gradual crucifixion of the higher purpose beneath the destroying influence of a frivolous butterfly existence, enables one American reader to de tect in time "That little rift within the lute Which by and by will make the music mute, And gently spreading, slowly silence all — " the publication of this tale will not be in vain. Emily Faithfull. Brooklyn, N. Y., May i, 1873.

Chapter I

" We stand on either side the sea, Stretch hands, blow kisses, sigh, and lean, I toward you, you toward me ; But what hears either save the keen Gray sea between ? " A. C. Swinburne. " Only I discern — Infinite passion, and the pain Of finite hearts that yearn." Robert Browning. On a bright frosty day in December, not many years ago, the Boulogne steamer started from the pier at Folkestone, containing among its passen gers an English family bound for a six-months' residence in Rome. The leave-takings were all over ; friends who had accompanied the "outward bound" to the steamer had received the last distinguishable fare well nod ; all who were left behind were already tired of waving their hands, and had, one by one, with a single exception, departed from the pier. Wilfred Lane still lingered.

His eyes had been fixed upon a fair young face until it could no longer be distinguished. He had watched the slight figure of a girl who was looking earnestly at the receding pier, as she leant over the side of the boat, with her hand over her eyes, shading her face from the sun. And now the steamer itself seemed like a moving black mass on the water. At last the young man walked rapidly off the pier, through the town, and, mounting the steep hill beyond, turned his face once again towards the sea. There was the " Queen of the Isles," already looking much smaller, and ploughing her way across the Channel with cruel rapidity. Soon she appeared like a thick black post, which Wilfred watched until it grew fainter and fainter, and at last he could discern nothing at all. And yet he could not bear to leave the spot.

He felt, while he stayed there, away from every other human being, and looked out upon the sea in the direction where he had last seen the steamer, that he was nearer to Tiny Harewood than he should be when he went back again into the town. A Reed Shake?i with the Wind. 13 Besides this, Wilfred Lane felt a curious chok ing kind of sensation in his throat, which he thought would get better if he remained in the open air alone.

Chapter II

" Is human love the growth of human will? " Lord Byron. The family on board the tidal boat in which Wilfred Lane's interest was centred consisted of his aunt and three cousins ; and the journey to Rome was undertaken on account of his attachment to the youngest daughter — an attachment which was warmly returned by the young lady herself, but was unacceptable to the higher powers. For many years Wilfred Lane had been in the habit of frequenting Lady Harewood's house so constantly that he had almost grown to look upon it as his home. He was accustomed to do for her and his cousins all those little offices which ladies without near male relations are so glad to receive from any man whom they regard in the light of a "tame cat," or a cousin who will never step be yond certain limits, or claim any other reward for his devotion than a kindly recognition of his ser vices.

His aunt had hitherto received Wilfred's attentions as her rightful due. Was he not the only son of her husband's young and foolish sister who, in spite of all her prudent counsels, persisted in refusing a wealthy unloved suitor in order to marry a poor country clergyman, who had not even the grace to live more than six months after Wilfred's birth, but left his widow as sole legacy a delicate little son, who must in future share with her the income which had barely sufficed for her own dress previous to this absurd love-match ? And had not Lady Harewood done her utmost to supply a mother's place, ever since that same weak silly creature cried herself into an early grave ? Did not Wilfred Lane owe his appointment in the War Office to interest exerted by her lamented husband ? In fact, Lady Harewood considered that she was only adding one more to the many favors already bestowed in allowing her nephew the free run of her house, permitting him to escort herself and her daughters to all the fetes and balls of the season, to call up her carriage at the opera, and to under take those many hundred little duties which force even the stoutest champions of woman's rights to acknowledge the supremacy of man.

Wilfred Lane on his part was nothing loth to ac cept the situation, although anything more opposed to his own character than that of his aunt's can scarcely be conceived. Lady Harewood was weak and frivolous, and the worldly maxims which she occasionally uttered for the benefit of his cousins, with the small amount of earnestness of which her nature was capable, were sometimes almost more than he could endure in silence. Placed by her marriage in a position above the rest of her family, which belonged to the trading class in the West of England, Lady Harewood appeared to live in constant dread of betraying it, and in order to dis guise it she assumed what she believed to be the correct airs of a lady of fashion, and a sorry sort of figure she often made in consequence. The three cousins were the silver lining to Wil fred's cloud, though there were moments when Charlotte showed tendencies to devote herself to the beau monde, like her mother ; but they all in herited something of their father's marvellous in tellect and genial disposition, and no house could fail to be agreeable which contained the bright and fascinating presence of these girls.

Men of all sorts clustered round them, and they made themselves agreeable to their own sex as well ; still there were ladies who had hard words for the Miss Harewoods, and condemned them all three as " sad flirts." For, long before Tiny was eighteen, a well-known officer in the Life Guards had made her conspicuous by his public attentions, and gentle Belgravian voices were not slow to whisper that by the time Tiny was as old as her sisters she would have surpassed them both in the art of coquetry. These insinuations, of course, never reached Wilfred's ear. He was regarded by the world more as a brother than a cousin, and so indeed he remained, until he learnt to distinguish between the kindly pleasure with which he undertook to ride or walk with Charlotte and Madeline, and the different feelings he experienced when he found Tiny's arm within his own.

Then he felt no longer a brother or mere cousin, for his pulse quickened and his heart throbbed with a passion unknown to such relationships. These were dangerous times for Wilfred, but he did not shun them, or think with any distinctness of that to which they must ultimately lead. As for Tiny, she was so full of life and spirits that she seemed scarcely to notice any one save in a passing way ; everything and everybody appeared to give her pleasure for the moment, no one had power to arrest her for longer. The admiration of Captain Clutterbuck amused her and gratified her vanity, but it certainly never touched her heart. And so her nineteenth year passed away, and dur ing the following winter the Harewoods went for a month to some old friends who lived near Windsor. It was Tiny's first visit to The Cedars, but she soon became a great favorite with both host and hostess, and when the time came for her mother's departure, she had decided (for Tiny generally de cided for herself) on accepting Mrs. Wroughton's invitation to spend the rest of the winter at Wind sor.

Her motives were never much scrutinized by her mother, who was in this instance ready to A Reed Shake7i with the Wind. agree to the plan proposed, and content to lose her child's companionship if by doing so she se cured for Tiny the advantages which might accrue from visiting in " the best society in the neighbor hood." Though Lady Harewood had not the faintest notion how to promote them, good matches for her daughters were the end and aim of her existence. So she said good-by to Tiny with much hope and little regret, and retired with Charlotte and Madeline to Torquay, enjoying the satisfac tory reflection that two daughters were much more conveniently chaperoned than three, and that Tiny's absence might even act beneficially for her sisters' interest as well as her own,

Chapter III

"And barren corn makes bitter bread." A. C Swinburne. " 'Tis strange to think, if we could fling aside The mask and mantle that love wears from pride, How much would be, we now so little guess, Deep in each heart's undreamed, unsought recess ; The careless smile, like a gay banner borne, The laugh of merriment, the lip of scorn, — And, for a cloak, what is there that can be So difficult to pierce as gayety ? Too dazzling to be scanned, the haughty brow Seems to hide something it would not avow ; These are the bars, the curtain to the breast, That shuns a scrutiny." L. E. Landon. Now if the truth must be told, the society of Mr. and Mrs. Wroughton did not constitute Tiny Harewood's attraction to Windsor. She certainly valued it as far as it went, nor was she by any means insensible to the pleasures of a large coun try house, or unable to appreciate an establishment containing among its most important members an " exquisite French cook."

Tiny had a wonderful capacity for the enjoyment of all material things, but her real induce ment to remain at The Cedars consisted in the presence of a certain Captain Foy, who was staying with a maiden aunt in a cottage just on the outskirts of the park. Captain Philip Foy had found Mr. Wroughton's society agreeable enough before the Harewoods' arrival, and since then had never lost an opportu nity of coming to the house. If he had intended to tear himself away from his invalid aunt before he made Tiny's acquaintance, he certainly never contemplated such a sacrifice afterwards. He certainly knew of places where he could have better shooting, and many with more congenial men companions, but it pleased him better to remain at Windsor, and to see what impression he could make upon the warm, subtle, and half-per verse nature of Tiny Harewood.

Of course Captain Foy never meant " anything serious." To begin with, he considered himself too poor to marry, and when he did commit that fatal act he intended it to be a stepping-stone to his interests, which a marriage with a Miss Hare wood was not likely, in his opinion, to afford. Unfortunately poor Tiny mistook Captain Foy's intentions. His brilliant social and intellectual qualities so completely captivated her that she soon fell violently in love with him, and believed he was equally so with her. Tiny Harewood was no ordinary girl, and perversity was one of her chief characteristics. Making sure that she was loved, and not feeling inclined to confess her own sentiments even to herself, she so teased, tormented, and worried the usually triumphant Captain Foy, that his love making was often earnest enough, and once or twice he was nearly tempted to propose to her in spite of his firm resolution to keep within the lim its which he had prescribed for himself.

One week followed another so rapidly, and the time passed so quickly while every day brought with it some mutual pleasure, that Easter arrived without a word from Tiny respecting her return home. ** A summons, however, from her mother came at last, and though Captain Foy knew that Tiny's visit, like everything else in this world, had come to an end, he contented himself with being addition ally tender, and even managed to kiss her in their parting interview in the shrubbery. Wilfred, the useful cousin Wilfred, came down for Tiny and brought her back to London, which already gave symptoms of a gay and early season, and where she found her mother and sisters prepared for another campaign. Tiny expected that before very long Captain Foy would contrive to call at Grosvenor Crescent. She knew it would be perfectly easy for him to find a hundred excuses for doing so, but that brave officer had no wish to put himself again in temptation.

He felt disposed to think that while he had managed to amuse himself very pleasantly during the winter, and enjoyed drawing out all Tiny's exquisite coquetries, he had very mercifully and wonderfully been kept within proper limits, in not having positively made " a fool of himself" by a definite offer of marriage. Recognizing the nearness of the danger, how ever, he determined to avoid Miss Tiny Harewood in future, and resolved to start another vehement flirtation (for which, by the bye, he had a great reputation) directly he got to London. He was all the more inclined to do this when he found how much he really missed Tiny's society, for he began to fear that he had not come out as scathless from this little episode as he at first fondly imagined. All this time poor Tiny wondered why Captain Foy never called.

Sometimes she fancied he would come on a particular afternoon, and then she would resolutely stay at home. Once, when she did this, she found her mother and sisters had met him at the very afternoon reception to which she refused to go, because she made up her mind that the fastidious Captain Foy was sure not to go to the Westbrooks, wherever else he might be. At last, however, they met at Lady Howard's dance, but Captain Foy appeared so engrossed with Miss Peel that he only bowed when he first saw Tiny. The partner she had been dancing with had just brought her back to Lady Harewood, who told her, as a pleasant piece of information which would greatly interest her, that Captain Foy was desperately in love with General Peel's daughter, and added, "it is everywhere reported that they are engaged."

Poor Tiny ! She felt as if all the brightness in her life had gone out, and that it would be im possible for her to know another happy moment. Her pride rebelled against the feeling that Captain Foy had only trifled with her affection, and her one comfort was in the thought that none of her home circle would ever know the deep and lasting impression which had been made upon her during her ever to be remembered visit to Windsor. Turning to Wilfred, who came to claim her hand for the next waltz, Tiny was soon dancing with him, apparently the gayest and most light hearted girl in the room ; and so well had she con trolled her emotion, that when Captain Foy came up and spoke to her, she never even changed color, but answered him with such perfect friendli ness and ease, that he was unable to flatter himself (which gave that gallant soldier a momentary pang of disappointment) that Tiny had come out less heartwhole than he had from a flirtation for which he would most certainly have been called to ac count, but for Mr. Wroughton's deafness, and Mrs. Wroughton's absence from the rides and walks during which it had taken place — to say nothing of the numerous casual meetings in the shrubberies and park, of which they had both been kept in complete ignorance.

But whatever appeared on the surface, poor Tiny's heart ached enough below, and it was many a long day before it ceased to pain her. At first she took refuge in the most violent barefaced flir tations with the numerous suitors who were only too eager to secure her notice, and she certainly seemed more than likely to fulfil the amiable pro phecies of her lady friends. It was in vain that Lady Harewood expostu lated, in her feeble fretful way, at these unseemly proceedings, or that Tiny's sisters interfered. Tiny was determined to flirt, and Tiny did flirt, and once or twice she even passed the boundaries of flirtation and inflicted on honest hearts the pain she had herself experienced. But Tiny's nature was really too good long to remain satisfied with this kind of life. Gradually her manner quieted down, and she seemed less in clined to take part in the different gayeties which were going on, but entered, with a feeling more akin to joy than anything she had felt since the Windsor visit, into her cousin Wilfred's intellectual pursuits and pleasures.

Wilfred Lane's delight was unbounded. Shut out by his delicate health from the hardier games and amusements of boys, books had always been the world he really lived in, and when he saw with daily increasing satisfaction that Tiny was being drawn towards him, he gladly provided anything she cared to study, or read aloud to her while she worked or drew, much to the amused amazement of her sisters, who were, however, greatly relieved by seeing Tiny's whims taking a quieter and far less conspicuous turn. Wilfred's greatest delight was in art, and though he never had produced anything himself, his ap preciation and passionate love of painting had al ready gained him a considerable reputation as a critic, not only amongst his own immediate friends, but in the best literary circle. It therefore excited no surprise in Lady Harewood's mind when she saw Tiny studying Ruskin's "Modern Painters," preparatory to frequent expeditions with her cousin to the National Gallery — a place, be it remarked, strangely neglected by English people who crowd to the annual exhibitions of the Royal Academy, and profess to value good paintings, and sigh for Italy and the foreign places which contain them. These were happy days for Wilfred, for he had an apt scholar, and his whole heart was in his work.

Chapter IV

" The fountains mingle with the river And the rivers with the ocean, The winds of heaven mix forever With a sweet emotion ; Nothing in the world is single ; All things by a law divine In one another's being mingle — Why not I with thine ? " Percy Bysshe Shelley. Tiny, perhaps, may not have felt absolutely happy, and she certainly was not cxaltte, but she did feel she was living in a purer, higher atmos phere, and the worldliness of her mother and the frivolity of her sisters' pursuits began to grate upon her accordingly. She was beginning, too, to have a stronger feeling for her cousin than she had at first thought at all possible ; and when she compared Wilfred's generous, unselfish character with others, and felt the influence of the high tone of mind which he brought to bear upon everything with which he came in contact, she could not help feeling his superiority to most of the men she ever knew — Captain Foy included.

One afternoon late in the summer Wilfred and Tiny were sitting in a sheltered nook in the Bel grave Square gardens, having borrowed the key (a not unusual habit) from the Eliots. Wilfred had been reading aloud some of Mrs. Browning's " Sonnets from the Portuguese," and when he came to xliii. he paused, for he did not think he could trust himself to read it to Tiny. It was his favorite sonnet, and exactly expressed his feeling for his cousin. Tiny, however, was imperative, especially when she saw that the page was marked, and a date written on it which her cousin refused to explain. At last he began — " How do I love thee ? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right. I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my dead Saints — I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life ! — and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after Death." As Wilfred read these lines in a voice of sub dued passion, the truth which had lately been dawning upon Tiny's mind came to her in its fullest force. She knew that she was really loved, not with the same kind of love with which Captain Foy had deceived her and amused himself, but with a love which was Wilfred's very life, and which would enable him to make any sacrifice of his own feelings rather than wound or trouble her. She was not excited by this knowledge, but she was proud of having won Wilfred's affection ; and, when he looked up, his cousin's eyes were fixed upon his face, after that strange fashion of hers which always made it difficult for him to control himself.

He lost all power to do so now : — the book fell from his hand, his arm stole round her waist, and their lips met for the first time. As Tiny walked back to Grosvenor Crescent that afternoon she knew if she had not the full measure of love to return, she had at least obtained a heart which was hers completely. But Tiny said nothing of this to her cousin ; she kept to herself the unhappy episode with Captain Foy, and allowed Wilfred Lane to suppose that his love had been the first to awaken her own. Now that Wilfred had been surprised into an avowal to Tiny, he felt he must not keep it a secret from her mother. Gathering up all his courage he requested a few minutes' conversation with his aunt after luncheon on the following Sun day ; but all the said courage seemed absolutely oozing out at his fingers' ends as he followed Lady Harewood upstairs, through the drawing-rooms into her little boudoir beyond.

Wilfred Lane knew that, with all her apparent refinement, Lady Harewood could sometimes say and do very rude things — so can every woman whose school of manners has not been an honest and true heart, but a smooth, false world. He expected his intimation to meet with considerable opposition, but he was utterly unprepared for the uncourteous treatment he received. His relationship, as well as his deep love for Tiny, gave him an unusually strong motive for keeping a firm hand over himself, and for passing by personali ties which any other man would have felt justified in resenting, even from a lady who might, one day, become his mother-in-law. Lady Harewood's anger seemed only equalled by her amazement. The idea of Wilfred's falling in love with one of his cousins had never before crossed her mind.

She would as soon have ex pected a proposal from him to herself. It was some time before she could at all seize the idea, and when she had done so, half an hour did not suffice for the expression of her wrath and disapprobation. Accusing him of meanness and ingratitude, she declared that, had his uncle lived, he would never have dared to seek Tiny's love in such an under hand way, and wondered at his audacityin asking her permission to take her daughter from " the lap of luxury " to such a home as he could offer. She proceeded to comment upon Wilfred's position and future prospects, and made allusions to his father which he felt quite unbearable, and resolved to answer when the torrent of words with which she assailed him showed symptoms of abatement. He was about to do so, when Tiny made her appearance ; her mother's loud and angry tones reached her in the drawing-room, and excited her to such a degree that she felt she could not abide the issue of the conversation, but must go and take a share in it herself.

With a very pale face, and a quiet, determined manner, Tiny informed her mother that she came in to put a stop to any further difficulties, for she had resolved on marrying Wilfred, and Wilfred only; in token thereof she sat down by him, and, taking his hand in hers, seemed to defy her mother to offer any objection to such a conclusive and womanly argument. Lady Harewood was much disconcerted by Tiny's entrance, but Wilfred felt considerably relieved. He hoped her daughter's presence would have some effect in inducing her to control her self. To tell the truth, he was positively alarmed at this exhibition of temper, as his aunt's delicate health and weak nerves were proverbial. Such a paroxysm of excitement might even produce a fit, he thought — a fainting, or hysterical scene, was was the least evil with which he expected the afternoon to close.

It was one thing, however, for Lady Harewood to vent her indignation upon an unprotected man, whose position as her nephew made him singularly defenceless — to say nothing of the unusual amount of forbearance on which she knew she could count — but with Tiny it was quite another thing. Having relieved herself by an outburst upon Wilfred, Lady Harewood was not going in her present exhausted condition to do battle with a young lady who was apt, under such circumstances, to get as excited as she did, and to return blow for blow. She therefore rose to her full height, and, with as much dignity as she could muster, rang the bell, and resumed her seat in silence. When the old butler appeared, he was greatly surprised at receiving an immediate order for Lady Harewood's carriage. A Sunday afternoon drive was not among his lady's usual practices, though she did not scruple occasionally to require her car riage to take her to a quiet dinner-party.

As Watson shut the door, Lady Harewood turned to Wilfred and requested him not to call before five o'clock on the following Sunday, by which he knew that he was expected to make himself scarce at once. Without any hesitation he said good-by to his aunt. While regretting that his wishes had met with such decided disapprobation, he hoped she would yet learn to look more favorably on his suit, and, with a pressure of Tiny's hand, which said more to her than a thousand words, he left the room. Before Lady Harewood effected her escape Tiny heard the hall door close after Wilfred Lane. Then she and her mother had a sharp passage of arms, during which Tiny gave her to understand that she loved Wilfred, and was determined to marry him in spite of any opposition from the family.

Chapter V

" Did'st thou but know the inly touch of love, Thou would' st as soon go kindle fire with snow As seek to quench the fire of love with words." Shakespeare. Lady Harewood was essentially a woman. She felt it impossible to get through the rest of the day without consulting somebody ; but, ready as she was to seek advice, she was seldom in clined to follow it. In the present instance her thoughts turned to her husband's old friend Sir Anthony Claypole, and she resolved at once to ask his opinion on this unpleasant family difficulty. Wilfred's relationship had given him such access to Tiny that of course by this time they thoroughly understood each other, and probably had done so for weeks before the words were spoken which obliged them to take her into their confidence. Although she determined not to countenance their "absurd and romantic attachment," Lady Harewood felt it by no means easy to forbid her husband's nephew the house.