Life and its Realities

Front matter

LIFE AND ITS REALITIES. BY GEORGIAN! LADY CHATTERTON. AUTHOE OF " HOME SKETCHES, " " BAUBLES IN THE SOUTH OF IBELAND," " THE PYEENEES AND SPAIN," &C IN THREE VOLUMES. VOL. I. LONDON : HURST AND BLACKETT, PUBLISHERS, SUCCESSORS TO HENRY COLBUSN, 13, GREAT MARLBOEOUGH STREET. 1857. J. Billing, Printer, 103, Ilatton Garden, London, and Guildford, Snrrey. THE DUCHESS OF KOXBTJRGHE, THESE VOLUMES, CONTAINING SKETCHES OF HUMAN LIFE AND 80CIAL MOBALS, _\n gririrattfc BT HEB VEEY SINCEEE FBIEND. LIFE AND ITS REALITIES.

Chapter I. Confidence

" It would never do ! you would be mise rable. It would be utter wretchedness if you were to accept him," said Mrs. Lennox to her daughter Lucy. " What there is in a word, in one little fool ish word !" thought the young girl. If she had said, " Will, you will be miserable if you accept him," then Lucy would have felt there might be some remote chance that her mother VOL. I. B LIFE would relent, that she would be allowed to make the experiment of being miserable. And yet Lucy thought this misery was her only happiness ; all the world would be dark and gloomy if she were to refuse Augustus Derwent. Fortunately there was no reserve between the mother and daughter, so Lucy uttered her thoughts as she threw her arms around her mother's neck, and tried to smile, though the tears were running down her cheeks.

" I wish you had said ' will ' instead of ' would,' and I wish you had not put on that determined face. For surely, dear mamma, Harriet's husband will have much less. They will be really poor." " That is no matter, my dear chdd, Harriet can struggle against poverty, but you could never endure uncertainty." " But he has quite given up gambling, and has promised so positively, never even to speculate again, although his last scheme was so successful, that he will be able to save Rollston Court for his brother, and he has now nearly as much as he had, when he came into the property his aunt left him. And really those fatal speculations, that ruined him before, were entirely caused by his brother. That Mr. Renton is such a dreadful person." " He is indeed" said Mrs. Lennox ; " and, alas ! poor Augustus, will always be under his influence ; you would never be sure of any thing."

" But if it were all settled upon me, as he now says it would be, he could hardly specu late with it." " He would appeal to your feelings, and he might under his brother's influence, so con trive to hamper the interest of his fortune, that you would have no peace ; besides being obliged, of course, to pay for all Mr. Renton's, and Lady Julia's extravagancies. They would, b LIFE of course, live upon Augustus. And you little know, darling child, what a short way two thousand a year will go, to keep up the appearances the Rentons think it necessary to maintain. You fancy, because we have only five hundred, and yet contrive to live comfort ably, that two thousand will furnish every luxury and extravagance." " Certainly Lady Julia is extravagant," said Lucy, " and her brother is quite tired of pay ing their debts ; but she has suffered so much the last year, from the loss of all her splendid jewels and furniture, that I trust she will be wiser."

Mrs. Lennox shook her head ; for she well knew that Lady Julia belonged to one of these irretrievably thoughtless, and extravagant families, who sometimes contrive to put a finishing stroke to the ancient glories and possessions of a time-honoured name. " You would never have any peace with them all; and when some apparently hopeful scheme was started, they would appeal to your feelings ; for, alas ! Mr. Augustus Derwent is not cured, my darling. I see plainly, he would never have sufficient firmness to withstand his besetting sin. He does not pray for strength ; his self-confidence will be his rum. " Yet surely he is much more religious than he was, he has been regularly to Church and . . ." "Ah, that was because he met you there, my poor dear, but I saw his thoughts were much more occupied with your pretty face, than listening to the service.

Darling child, this is a sad moment ; I know your tears are very bitter — you fancy everything wdl be miserable — that life will be very desolate and wretched, yet I think — I hope and trust you wdl get over it." " And you will not wish me to marry LIFE Mr. Mandeville, dear mamma, I hope ; for that would be much worse even than giving up Augustus." "Certainly not, my darling; what could have put such an idea into your head ?" " Because Sarah Glentworth is always saying that I am so wrong to refuse him — that his fortune would enable me to do so much good — that I could then build a church at Hetherington, and have a school, and do all sorts of things ; and as I have heard you say that Sarah does so much good, I was afraid you might agree with her about Mr. Mande ville." " Sarah does a great deal of good, and is very well meaning ; but I am surprised that she could evince such a want of judgment as to advise you to marry a person, however esti mable and good he may be, unless you could love him.

No," continued Mrs. Lennox with a smde, " I am sure you would rather be an old maid, even if ever so poor, than marry a person you do not quite like.'' " Yes, and if I could be such a dear kind old maid as aunt Charlotte, I could not have a better fate," said the young beauty with a lightened heart, although she had a firm con viction that if she did not marry Augustus Derwent, she would assuredly die an old maid. But she had grown up without any of those fatal prejudices, which form such inconvenient scarecrows to most young ladies, and induce many a disappointed, waning beauty to sa crifice her happiness, rather than incur the dreaded reproach of being called an old maid. " Wed, I will try to be happy," said Lucy, as she dried her tears ; " I will try to think of dear Harriet's happiness, and how glad she will be to see cousin George, now that dear papa has been so kind, and that it is all settled.

And then you will miss her so when LIFE she marries, and goes all the way to Cumber land, it will never do for me to be sad; for you will have no one to comfort you but me !" And Lucy's tears flowed again, partly at the prospect of losing her dear and only sister, and partly at the thought that she must now dismiss Augustus's image from her mind ; and she felt a sort of shuddering dread of the pain it would cost her to give him up. Mrs. Lennox read all the thoughts and feelings that were undisguisedly depicted on her daughter's expressive face ; and as she pressed her to her bosom again and again, the mother felt those stifled sobs — the pangs that the poor girl was endeavouring to still in her aching heart — and she fervently prayed that her darling might obtain strength and peace. And there was no disguising the fact, that Lucy's tears were very bitter, and that it was a sore trial.

" O ! zarte Sehnsucbt, Susses Hoffen, Der ersten Liebe goldne Zeit, Das Auge sieht den Himmel offen, Es schwelgt das Herz in Seligkeit, 0 ! das sie ewig griinend bliebe Die schone Zeit der jungen Liebe !" Two years before, when the young Mr. Derwent first came from college after succeeding to his great-aunt's property, which gave him sufficient fortune to be independent of the profession he had chosen, Lucy's parents saw that the passionate love he evinced for their daughter was likely to be returned, and that from his somewhat wild and unsteady habits, he would not prove a satisfactory husband. So they endeavoured to check the intimacy which had always existed between the families. And they had so far succeeded in arresting the course of the young people's love, that what in a person of Lucy's impetuous disposition would soon have become a violent passion, was still only a strong predilection.

LIFE They had contrived that she should never brood over her unfortunate attachment, yet they had not tried to blind her to its existence, or even to exaggerate the defects of Mr. Derwent. And she had been obliged to ac knowledge that he had shown much weakness of character in having been persuaded to speculate, and in not having persevered in the pro fession he had chosen. But he had come forward again, and ac knowledging his errors, promised most so lemnly to reform, and not again become en tangled in any extravagance or imprudence. Yet, after due consideration, the parents felt that they must refuse their consent. Mrs. Lennox, particularly, knew that it was the only safe course to pursue : fortunately she had much influence over her daughter, and contrived to amuse and occupy her mind, and gradually led her to take an interest in the preparations for her sister's wedding.

Yet Harriet's was what was called a " love match, ' and many people wondered that the parents should allow their eldest daughter to marry her young cousin, who had no private fortune, and had only lately obtained a small living in Cumberland of a hundred and fifty pounds a year — and that they had yet refused to give their youngest to the handsome and fascinating Mr. Derwent, who belonged to the time-honoured famdy of Renton, formerly the wealthiest in the county. He had besides, although a younger son, succeeded to a good property, left by his great aunt, Lady Laura Derwent, daughter of the last Earl of Ilminster, and had taken the name of Derwent, in compliance with her wishes, as the old title was extinct, and she had been the last who bore that ancient name. It seemed strange that a poor clergyman should refuse such a match for his penniless daughter.

But the world in general does not LIFE trouble itself to look beyond the surface, nor are the bulk of mankind capable of under standing the motives of persons who, like the good clergyman, Mr. Lennox, and his simple minded wife, are more anxious to act according to the real precepts of Christianity, than to follow the usages and codes of morality formed by custom and the perversion of true religion. But the mother suffered almost as much as Lucy in refusing Mr. Derwent this second time, and bitterly regretted that she could not have saved her child from the disappointment ; and as time passed on, she became even more fully aware of the severe trial it had been. Mrs. Lennox had seldom travelled beyond her own primitive county, or read any other books than those her own language afforded ; but she was placed in the rank of life most conducive to the development of good, though not perhaps of brdliant qualities.

She belonged to the middling class of the latter part of the last century, and beginning of this. Her time had neither been frittered away in the pursuit of fashion or what is called pleasure and accom plishments, or wasted in the drudgery of pro curing her own living. She had never con versed with the wits and poets of the day, or seen any one more amusing than her own somewhat droll and good-humoured husband. She had never even suffered or felt intensely, yet the study of scripture had made her sufficiently large-minded to enter into the sorrows of others, so she did not blind herself to the suffering poor Lucy felt; but her right judgment saw it was inevitable, and she exerted her best energies to heal her daughter's wounded heart. In this endeavour she was ably assisted by her husband, although from his impulsive and passionately affectionate disposition, he some times allowed himself to feel that it was rather hard upon the poor girl, and only that he had LIFE full confidence in his wife's steady and sober judgment, he would have been disposed to relent.

He might have endeavoured to believe the solemn assurances Mr. Derwent gave, that nothing should ever induce him to speculate or gamble again. Mr. Lennox was full of that sort of kindness that surrounded him with a sunny atmosphere, which seems to inspire spontaneous happiness in others, and calls forth the best and most joyous qualities of their nature. To some, who, like his daughter Harriet, possess by nature a sensitive and somewhat apprehensive temper ament, her father's presence always gave a sort of quiet cheerfulness, and it produced in all his household a gaiety equally unrestrained and without effort. For he had the rare faculty that lightened or rather turned to mirth the little rubs and inconveniences that are insepa rable from limited means and a small house and establishment.

If Mr. Lennox had lived much in the great world, this faculty might have been developed into the sort of wit that made Sidney Smith so popular. But it had been only drawn out for the amusement of his own famdy, the illus tration of his village sermons, and to assist in bringing home truths to the minds of his hearers in a pleasing and cheering point of view. Such a one is described by Gerald G. Massey : — ' A soul of sweetness from each wrinkle smiled ! There was strange glory in the old man's eyes, Which, with Life's setting splendour, shone a glow, Like windows lighted in a sinking sun That paints fair morrow Pleasant was the sight. For he had reached the shining sunset isles That fade into the eternal heavens, and lo ! The whisper of a happy memory smiles." LIFE

Chapter II. Regret

" We shall not have many more such walks as these together dearest Lucy," said Harriet, to her sister, as they were returning home one fine summer's evening. " But you must not look so sad, darling ; though it is very hard to part from you all, and go so far away." Lucy blushed and burst into tears, for she felt very guflty, and much humdiated at finding that her sadness was not entirely owing to the anticipated loss of her sister. But she would not conceal the fact, and therefore confessed with still more blushes, that she could not help often thinking of Augustus Derwent. " I wish you would try to like Mr. Mande ville ; I am sure he is such a very delightful person, and he would endeavour to make you so happy, ' said Harriett ; for as she felt more and more joyful in the prospect of being united to the person she had always loved, it seemed still harder, she thought, that Lucy should be disappointed ; and so she tried to induce her to look favourably on the young man who was devotedly attached to her, and whose excellent character and posi tion seemed so well calculated to ensure her happiness.

But when she saw the look of horror and dread on her sister's expressive countenance, at the mention of his name, she continued, with a sad smde — " Don't look so frightened, darling ; it is very strange that you seem to vol. i. c LIFE shudder sometimes, when I say a word in his >; praise. " It does frighten me," said Lucy, as she turned quite pale ; " for I have a sort of idea, that, in spite of all my dread, I shall, in some strange manner, be obliged to marry him. Why, I cannot imagine ; for dear papa and mamma never urge it ; but it is quite a sort of nightmare, and I often wake up out of a dreadful dream, where I have felt myself dragged to the church, and Mr. Mandeville was forcing a wedding ring on my finger. I had quite a pain in it when I awoke the other night ; and was so possessed with the idea that I was ac tually married, that I felt my finger several times, and even looked at it, in the moonlight, to convince myself that there was no ring, and it was only a frightful dream." 11 Yet it is not easy, darling Lucy, for any one to induce you to do what you do not like ; nor, indeed, does any one ever venture to try ; for the flash of your fiery eyes ; and those re solute eyebrows, and your proud and determined mouth, would soon warn them that it was impossible."

" It is not likely any one would try, certainly," said Lucy with a faint smile. " And I am sure Mr. Mandeville is too un selfish and generous, to wish that you should be made unhappy ; only he told me the other day, he would be quite satisfied if you con sented to marry him, although he knows your heart has always been given to poor Augustus. But I see now you are not thinking of what I am saying ; your thoughts are far, far away." " I should not mind never seeing Augustus again," said Lucy, after a pause, as she dried the tears that started to her eyes — " I should not mind, if I thought he would ever find any one to understand him, and — perhaps even to influence him as well as I think I could. . . . There are very few people he likes, and he says c LIFE the London girls, and all those he meets with, are so different and to think that he wdl never marry, never have any home never."

" My darling Lucy, do you mean that you would really rather he would marry ? Oh then indeed you must be very good — far better than I am; and indeed I always thought so ; for I could not endure the idea of George marrying any one else — no, not even if 1 were dead. Yes, papa is quite right, and, in spite of your hot temper and little oddities, you are the most unselfish person that ever lived. And now I verily believe you would quite make up your mind to lose Augustus, if you thought he could be happy without you." " But you see darling," continued Harriett, after a pause, to admire the lovely and loving expression on her sister's face — " you see how right mamma's judgment was ; for only two days after they decided to refuse him, he be came again irretrievably involved, quite ruined." " Poor Augustus !" said Lucy, with a heavy sigh ; " I am afraid that may have been caused by his disappointment.

Papa even thought so : and that he did not know what he was doing, and his dreadful brother made him speculate. But I know I am wrong to think about this at all ; for I must and will be cheerful, and not make them miserable. Let us sit down on this stile for a few minutes, for this is my favourite spot ; the birds always seem to sing more sweetly here, and the dear' beautiful cuckoo, .the first we have heard this >9 summer. " I delight most in the buzz of insects, in the corn-fields," said Harriett, " and the sounds from the farm yard, and the plashing of ducks in the pond, everything looks and feels so happy, and how delicious is the smell of the new hay." " And it is all the more delightful, dear Har riett, because it reminds you of that happy LIFE evening, just this time last year, when you and George discovered why you had both be come so shy, and seemed to be so much afraid of each other, that we all thought you had quarrelled'.

Oh, what a blissful day that was, when you came home with your eyes full of glad tears, and when we all saw at once what had happened, without your saying a word. You were as happy as I was, when Augustus first but I must not think of myself, or rather I must live only in your and dear George's delight, and be thankful for all the great blessings we enjoy. And there is going to be a splendid sunset ; look how the slant ing rays are gleaming on the stems of those fine beech trees, and on the distant downs, and among the waving corn. What a lovely scene this is !" Yet there was nothing particularly pic turesque in the landscape. It was one of those little wooded valleys, or rather nooks, in AND ITS REALITIES. the south of England, where a village nestles under the steep and sunny shoulder of a high South Down ; and where the grey Norman tower of an old church may be seen, near some dark yew trees on a low mound.

A clear trout stream winds at its base, close to the grave yard ; then traverses the irregular hamlet, and skirting the little terraced garden of the venerable gable-ended Rectory, makes an abrupt turn at the farther corner, where the trimly clipped yew hedge terminates in an old fashioned summer-house. The stream then rushes with a lively glee around that happy looking spot, and dances and babbles with a joyful sound over some white stones, and turns again coquettishly, as if to shew its fairness to the inmates of the old house, or to catch ano ther glimpse of those irregular casements and quaint pinnacles ; and then proceeds more slowly near the adjoining farm-yards and under a grove of beeches, that join their broad arms, LIFE and arch them fondly over its clear and tran qud depths. A broad expanse of breezy downs rises abruptly behind the church, and encloses the scene on the north side ; while towards the south, the ground slopes downwards in corn fields and gently undulating mounds, where our little friend, the trout stream, pursues its glittering course, occasionally sparkling among green meadows, and then hurrying on towards the sea.

And in the same direction, far far away, and on some very clear day, if you climb up to the highest part of the steep down behind, where there is a Danish encampment, and where the sheep are browsing among the barrows, you may get a glimpse of the blue sea, and breathe its invigorating briny air, mingled with the scent of the wdd thyme and aromatic herbs that are basking in the sunshine at your feet. AND ITS REALITIES. The whole scene possessed a sort of repose ful, homely charm on that glowing summer's evening, and the sisters' healthy minds and cultivated hearts had learned to discover and fully enjoy the beauty that exists in common things — and Mr. Lennox had taught them to make the most of every moment of innocent enjoyment, and to lay up a store of happy and peaceful thoughts and feelings to cheer sickness and dark hours withal, and never to lose their time in discontented ingratitude, and vague repinings. :l God's glory lies not out of reach : The moss we crush beneath our feet, The pebbles oe the wet sea-beach, Have solemn meanings strange and sweet.

" The peasant at his cottage door May teach thee more than Plato knew ; See that thou scorn him not : adore God in him, and thy nature too. " Nor cross the sea for gems, nor seek : Be sought. Fear not to dwell alone. LIFE Possess thyself. Be proudly meek, See thou be worthy to be known. ■ Be quiet. Take things as they come : Each hour will draw out some surprise ; With blessing let the days go home ; Thou shalt have thanks from evening skies."* And although their days were fully employed, Harriett and Lucy had always leisure sufficient to pause and dwell with delight on the beauties of nature in such a scene as this ; for they were not entangled with the giddy " whirl of sin," that too often, alas ! "Fills ear and brain, and will not let Heaven's harmonies come in." The appearance of the two sisters was so different, that if they had not both possessed a peculiar expression of kindness in their features, and a sort of naturally graceful refine ment in their air, they would never have been taken for relations.

Harriett's calm blue eyes, that sometimes * Owen Meredith. beamed with quiet humour — her fair skin, light auburn hair, and well formed features, might have furnished a good type of the Saxon style of beauty ; while Lucy's dark hair and large eyes, that often flashed with a quick impetuosity, and the next moment seemed to dance with fun, her diminutive yet strong hands and feet were evidently from the race of the Plantagenets. Then Harriett was tall, and her well-proportioned figure fully de veloped ; while Lucy was rather below the middle size, and so slender and fairy-like, and her quick movements had such a sort of airy gracefulness, that she often seemed to hover rather than walk upon the earth. Yet although she was so much smaller and younger -looking than her sister, there was an expression of strong determination, and even more developed character in her broad sorehead ; and with all her gentle softness of manner, she had that air of decision, which, as Harriett had just said, LIFE made people feel that her powerful wdl would not be easily influenced, and, in fact, that she generally had her own way.

It was therefore the more touching that she should have so entirely submitted to her mother's better judg ment, as to sacrifice her love for Augustus Der went ; and showed that, besides her natural talent for governing others, she had been edu cated to the more difficult task of governing herself. They had been meditating in silence for a few minutes as they sat on the stde, when Harriett suddenly rose and exclaimed, " Ah, Lucy, I had quite forgotten that Peggy is gone home to see her sick mother — she asked leave to go and help her, and there will be no one to prepare supper, for Mamma is busy making all my new things, so I had better return home at once, and you can go alone with the basket to old Nelly's cottage. But walk quick, darling, or you will be late for supper, and Papa will not like your being alone, if it gets dark."

Lucy started up, or rather jumped nimbly down from the top of the stile where she had been perched, and took up the large basket, which was stdl more than half full of the provisions they had been distributing to some of the poorest cottages. " It was very stupid of me," continued Harriett, not to have remembered before that Peggy is gone out ; for then we could have gone first over the downs to Nelly's, and you might now be taking the things to the other cottages, where there are plenty of people about, instead of having to go over these lonely downs by yourself." " It can't signify," said Lucy — " I shall be quite safe, and it is not more than half an hour's walk to dear old Nelly's ; and I shall be returning over Winbarrow Down in time for the splendid sunset, just as the sun will be LIFE sinking into the sea."

And Lucy jumped high in the air, and clapped her little hands with glee at the thought of beholding her favourite sight on such a beautiful evening, and then started off at a quick pace, or rather with a sort of dancing run, along the narrow path which led through some fields to the downs. " Brown her soft curls, sunbeam-sainted^ Golden in the wavering flush; Darker brown her eyes are, painted Eye and fringe with one soft brush. Thro' the leaves a careless comer, Never nymph of fount or tree Could have press'd the foot of summer With a lighter foot than she. Shadows, which are not of sadness. Touch her eyes and brow above ; As pale wild roses dream of redness, Dreams her innocent heart of love !"* Harriett proceeded more leisurely in the * AlliDgham. contrary direction, and occasionally turned back to gaze on the retreating form of her sister, while the tears started to her eyes, and she thought — " At times she seems quite heart whole and contented, and then the next moment there is such a sad look in her eyes, that I feel she never wid be quite happy.

Darling Lucy i how sad it is that Augustus could not have been worthy of her !" And then Harriett started and turned pale, as she suddenly remembered a rumour that had reached her ears the preceding day when she drove into Ilminster with her father. Some friends had told her that it was reported that Augustus L'erwent had won a large sum at play, and that he had been able to repurchase Rollston Court, his brother's old residence, from the manufacturer who had bought it two years ago. Harriett had purposely not mentioned this rumour to her sister, as she knew it would unsettle her LIFE mind to no purpose, and she had therefore tried to forget it herself ; for Lucy had such a wonderfudy quick faculty for reading the thoughts of others, that Harriett knew if she thought on the subject at all, her sistex would be sure to divine it, and draw from her an exact report of what she had heard.