A Philanthropist at Large

Front matter

BY G. W. APPLETON AUTHOR OF "THE CO-BESPONDENT," '(A TERRIBLE LEGACY, " JACK ALLYN's FEIEHDS," "CATCHIHG A TAKTAK," ETC. DOWNEY & CO. 12, YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON F. M. EVANS AND CO., LIMITED, PRINTERS, CRTSTAL PALACE, S.E. AVANT-PROPOS. This is a story of a Philanthropist who did not seem to fully understand his business at first ; though strenuous efforts were made to open up to him a wide and comprehensive knowledge of his opportunities. It was severely felt in some quarters that a man possessing crude, and even rudimentary, theories where large eleemosynary disbursements were involve*!, should be placed under the tutelage of tried and approved friends of the Human Race. The Philanthropist being a pliable man, with no deep knowledge, seemingly, of Exeter Hall Ga maliels, gave a ready and grateful assent to the suggestion ; and what came of it, it is my purpose to record in these pages. B

Chapter I

It was a tradition in certain Fleet Street " quen cheries" that Tommy Tipkins first saw the light in a printing office. Tommy himself, when ques tioned, had hazy opinions on the subject. His earliest recollections, he frankly conceded, were of a wooden staircase leading up from clanking machinery and a smell of grease to a long room with a dingy skylight above, where pale-faced " comps " seemed to be playing all day on keyed instruments that gave forth no melody. That was Tommy's way of putting it • but like the fly in the amber, " how the devil he got there " he never could with any degree of accuracy explain. This much is certain, however ; he became a printer's devil at a phenomenal age • picked up a knowledge of shorthand — and of the best — nobody ever knew how; reported a coroner's inquest successfully at thirteen, a double execution, with gruesome details, soon after* and while still in his nonage became sub-editor of a semi-influential journal in one of the southern counties.

This was quick work, and b presaged a prosperous journalistic career; but whether it was mere heredity, or natural " cus sedness," or the wiles of a flamboyant barmaid at the "King's Arms" (as has been suspected), Tommy suddenly made a retrograde movement, joined "The Tombstone Club," a coterie of native revellers, and during the next two years absorbed enough excisable liquors to destroy the constitution of a steam roller. Nothing, seemingly, could kill him, however. He survived all the members of "The Tombstone Club," following them to the grave with a stoical resignation that extorted the admiration of the most hardened beholder. He was a puzzle to the doctors, and had even been the subject of clinical lectures. Typhoid, small-pox, and the "jim-jams," in turn, made no appreciable inroad upon his physical well-being.

Anxious friends would sometimes say : " Alas ! poor old Tommy Tipkins; it's all over with him now." But the vaticinators were ever at fault. After each attack he would turn up with a cheerful smile, borrow a shilling of the unwary, and say he had been suffering from nothing really worth speaking about. As chief reporter of a provincial paper he has been known to have a smart pony and trap placed at his disposal by a guileless editor for the purpose of collecting local items from outlying districts, and with the benign aid of a little cold Scotch to have smashed up both pony and trap with the utmost diligence and skill. I am further more told that there was nothing more in the way of circumstantial evidence than the muddy seat of his trousers to associate him with the catastrophe. I have it, too, on unimpeachable authority, that he was once consigned by despairing friends, with a certain degree of resignation, to the Hospital for Incurables, and was summarily ejected as an impostor, when it was discovered that he had gained a stone in weight during a single fortnight.

Though he always dressed in faultlessly bad taste, Tommy, when fit for duty, was alert, smart, and full of daring enterprise. During his many intervals of dissipation, however, he became a veritable chief of la haute truanderie, carrying the key of the street in his pocket with as light a heart as any of Murger's merry band of Bohemians. One dismal evening in January some years since, when the air was congested with a dirty, yellow fog, Tommy Tipkins sat in the bar of the " Barley Mow" — familiarly known as " The Cogers' " — within the precincts of old Alsatia. He was in company with several boou companions, and as he was at this time going through one of his periodi cal crises, he did not, on this occasion, make a strong appeal to the lust of the eye. The rim of a limp and weather-beaten billycock hung like a blinker over his brow.

His nose was not so much red as inflamed ; the stubble of a three days' beard was upon his chin, fraternising with a small galaxy of pimples ; and a black eye, that would have been an unhappy arrangement of greens by daylight, was a painful souvenir of recent nocturnal festivities. His collar was in pictorial accord with the fog without ; his coat had outlived its early youth and usefulness; his trousers were frankly and solidly caked with mud at the bottom ; and the man, as a whole, gave forth a commingled odour of stale beer, old boots, and perspiration, that would have knocked over a Laplander. There was a briarwood pipe in his mouth, and a half-pint tankard in comfortable propinquity to his elbow, and to tell the exact truth, Tommy, despite all appearances, was as happy as a lord. It made no appreciable difference to him what his vicissi tudes of fortune might be.

Under the most depressing circumstances he always maintained a cheerful, not to say hilarious demeanour. There exists a generous camaraderie among Bohemians of his class in and about Fleet Street, that, in any event, ensures beer and tobacco, and as the night only lasts about two hours in these busy latitudes, that brief interval can, with no great amount of discomfort, be divided between a coffee-stall and the Embankment. As I have said, Tommy Tipkins was supremely happy on this particular evening. He was sur rounded by cronies who possessed nearly seven shillings between them. Alexander Macfarlane, of Aberdeen, a man of notable inches, and a doughty wielder of the pen when the impulse to work was in him, was the principal capitalist. He had just been appointed to the sub-editorship of a small trade journal, and had drawn something on account.

Charlie Cameron, who had lost an excellent position on the Scotsman through drink ; Teddy Donovan, the author of a recent " shocker," and two nondescript pickers-up of odd journalistic jobs, were the joint possessors of one shilling and tenpence; Tommy, as he frankly admitted, was " busted," but that counting for nothing among " pals," the tankards had just been replenished for the third time, when a stranger entered the private bar, and in an unmistakable American accent, asked for a brandy-and-soda. Tommy, after taking a pull at his tankard, said to his nearest neighbour : " Ten to one that's a Yank," and then nearly fell off his stool when the stranger added : " I say, landlord, can you tell me where I can find a young chap about here called Tipkins ? " Every pipe was removed from every mouth, every eye was fixed on the astonished Tommy, and the word " tec " busily circulated among them in a whisper.

As the landlord hesitated a moment, the stranger went on : " Needn't be afraid to tell me. He's a reporter, ain't he, and knows his way about a bit. If I can find him I have got a job for him. That's all." Tommy at once wiped his mouth with his sleeve, winked mysteriously at his companions, slid off the stool, and sidling up to the stranger, touched his hat. " I'm Tipkins," said he. A PHILANTHROPLST AT LARGE. " Oh ! You're Tipkins, are you ? " and the stranger looked him over critically. " Well, you're not quite what I expected to see. I suppose you'll have a drink ? " " I don't mind," said Tommy. " A little Scotch cold, please," and as he wiped his mouth again he summed up the stranger in turn, as was only meet and proper. "Fur-lined coat, gold watch and chain, diamond pin ! This is good business," said Tommy to him self ; then aloud, after knocking the ashes out of his pipe and putting the latter in his pocket : " My respects, sir." " That's all right.

Put it down, my son, and come outside. We can't talk here," and he led the way to the door. Amid a profound silence Tommy passed out into the fog ; but not before he heard Alexander Macfarlane say : " That's more of Tommy's luck. Tea to one you'll see him sporting a clean collar and neck-tie to-morrow." When they were in the street the stranger said : " Where can we go ? Somewhere quiet." Tommy reflected a moment. He had had no dinner. "Not goiDg to eat, I suppose," said he, brightening up. "No, I ain't going to eat." "The 'Punch' will do, then," said Tommy grimly. " It's only a step round the corner." A long and narrow wainscotted passage led into the spacious bar of " The Punch Tavern." The floor was covered with sawdust, as a blind man would have known by the smell of it; old-fashioned arm-chairs, each with an occupant smoking church wardens, were ranged against the walls.

Tommy led the way into a cosy room at the back. A fire burned cheerily in the grate. "This will do," said the American. "This suits me — this is all right. Sit down, Tipkins — same drink again, I suppose," and he rang the bell. Tommy said he would take a drop of the same, and this was shortly before him. " Now," pursued the stranger, "I've been told that you're one of the smartest fellows in Fleet Street." " I won't disguise the fact," said Tommy. " I am." "That is — when you're sober." Tommy looked up. Anybody could see that he was pained by the stranger's remark. "Have you ever been calumniated, sir?" he asked. " Heaps of times. Say no more about that. Now, Tipkins, what's your special ambition ? A newspaper of your own ? " " Thank you, sir, but I am afraid I wouldn't know what to do with it.

It would be pretty sure to eat its head off, and then die on my hands, and that wouldn't be nice. I fancy that a genteel pub, with a good press connection " " And free drinks for yourself ? " "Well, there is something in that when you come to think of it." " Jest so. How much assorted liquor, my son, can you assimilate in the course of twenty-four hours ? " Tommy reflected a moment. " Well," said he, " I am not ambitious that way ; some of the Fleet Street fellows are. I can do about twenty-four Scotches — or sixteen pints. I wouldn't go so far as to say that either is essential to my well-being." "Just so. You could exist, and be just fairly happy on half, or even a quarter of the quantity — especially if it was to your interest to do so ? " " That consideration would fortify me, sir, in any good resolution that I might make."

" I thought so. Well, now, what about your morals ? " " Oh," said Tommy, " I have several of them. How many would you expect a newspaper man to have?" " Not many, Tipkins ; that's right — not many." "The man who trusts me," pursued Tommy, " (I don't mean in a commercial sense — I don't expect that, of course), but treats me " " Quite another thing, certainly." " I mean treats me well — that man, sir, I never go back on." " That's first-rate," said the American. " That's real good morality ; but I don't want to hire a man that's too good," and he pointed to Tommy's damaged eye. " Met with an accident ? Been fighting ? " " Well," said Tommy, " I'll tell you how it was, sir. If there's anything I do hate, it's to see a woman knocked about; and as I was coming through the Seven Dials the other night I saw a man strike his poor, old, infirm, blind mother, and then " " That's all right," interposed the American.

"A good liar is jest exactly what I want. You'll do." " May I ask, sir," returned the unabashed Tommy, " what the nature of this job is ? " " Hold on a bit. Don't crowd me, Tipkins. Now they tell me you know London pretty darn well, especially by night." " Why especially by night ? " " Don't know why. Is it true or not ? " " Well, in the exercise of my profession, I certainly have — er " " You know something about these coffee-stalls, perhaps ? " Tommy smiled. " Do I know something about coffee-stalls ? Ask me another, sir." " I will. Are you acquainted with any of the men who run 'em ? " Tommy reflected that he had an undischarged score at several of these al fresco establishments, and answered diplomatically : " Oh, yes, several — by sight. Oh, Lord ! yes." " All right. Now, my son, what do you know about these baked potato chaps ?

" An acute observer would have seen that Tommy was deeply puzzled. " Baked potato chaps ! " said he. " What about them ? Why, nothing, sir, that I know of — they are all right." "Have you any intimate personal acquaintance among them ? " Tommy's face was a study now. " Intimate acquaintance ! Well, I have had certain commercial relations with some of them, and — but excuse me, sir, where do the functions of the press come in in this connection ? " " I'll tell you all about that pretty soon. Now, see here, I am willing to employ you on behalf of a philanthropist." Tommy's sound eye rolled in amazement " A what ? " he exclaimed. " That's quite correct, Tipkins. A real Simon Pure, eighteen carat philanthropist," pursued the American. " I am his business agent." " Is philanthropy his trade, sir ?

" " It's his trade, and we want somebody to run these coffee-stalls and potato-cans for us." " And you expect me," interposed Tommy, aghast — " me, to— to go into the baked potato business ? " The American frowned. " Look here," said he, " I don't intend to fool about here all night. If you don't want a job, say so " " But I do," said Tommy, in a tone of alarm. " That's what I thought. Well, how much do you want a week ? " Tommy scratched his chin in dire perplexity. " Shall I say three pounds, and chance it ? " he reflected ; then, with a happy inspiration, he said : " Well, sir, not being fully acquainted with the nature of the occupation as yet, I would be glad if you would be good enough to suggest what — er — you might consider a reasonable — er " " Right. Pound a day. How's that ? " As Tommy said afterwards, he might at that moment have been knocked down by a feather.

Stdl, he maintained his self-possession, and made a pretence of reflecting a moment. " Yes, well," said he, " I suppose that is a reasonable offer. I accept it." " Consider yourself engaged on those terms," said the American ; " but there is one thing I should like to call your attention to," he added, looking Tommy critically over. "Really, now, you can't call yourself a thing of beauty to-night, can you?" " Not with a clear conscience, no, sir. " You need washing, Tipkins." " I have remarked that myself, sir ; so have several other people." "Not surprised — and your clothes. You've got some Sunday clothes, I suppose ? " "Oh dear, yes," said Tommy; "but unfor tunately " Here he paused and smiled. " I see — mortgaged," said the American sen tentiously. " That's it — mortgaged, sir." " How much will it require to release them ?

" Tommy made a mental calculation. He was not to be caught napping this time. " Coat and waistcoat," he thought, " four slril lings; overcoat, four shillings ; trousers, eighteen pence. In all, with interest, about twelve shillings. "Well," he said aloud, "I think I could manage it with three pounds." For a moment he was frightened at his own daring, and then his heart gave a great bound as the American opened his purse and took from it three golden sovereigns. " There," said he, " that's in advance ; and now I want you to find three or four good fellows to work under your directions. Can you do that ? " Tommy thought of the Bohemians he had just left, and answered with alacrity : " Certainly, sir. Three or four ? " " I will leave that to you — and their remunera tion as well. Anything up to ten shillings a day.

But one black eye, at present, is enough in the crowd; and this booze must be stopped, too. Understand ? " " Moderated, perhaps," suggested Tommy. " Well, it's got to be toned down a good deal, and don't you forget it." Here the American rose and took a card from his case. "You might bring three chaps to see me on Monday, and I'll have a look at them. This is my address. Come about eleven o'clock, and we'll go into the business." " I'll be there, sir." " All right ; and you'll see to those — er — things to-night, and have a shave ? " " No fear," said Tipkins, as he thought, with a chuckle, of the mighty astonishment that lay in wait for the " boys " at " Cogers'." " Well, then, good night," and with that the American made his way rapidly through the bar, and disappeared. Tommy looked at the card, and read : William Henry Tapp, 190, Portland Place, W. Then he took the three sovereigns from his pocket, and looked at them. " Well, I'm d d," said he, " if this doesn't take the bally biscuit ! "

Chapter II

When he reached the street, Tommy stopped and considered. At that moment St. Paul's struck eight. It was Saturday night. The pawn-shops did not close until nine. This was fortunate, and he began an arduous search for his tickets. By extreme diligence he found them at last in the back lining of his coat. " That's a good job," said he, and within ten minutes he was again in possession of what the American had euphemistically termed his " Sunday clothes." And now Tommy was confronted with a pro blem. How was the change of raiment to be effected in time for his reappearance at " Cogers' " in all his glory ? He stood in the thickening fog, with the flabby paper parcel under his arm, and pondered. Then a brilliant idea occurred to him, which he carried into instant execution at the adjacent railway station, at the cost of one penny.

A further problem then awaited him in the form of a suit of discarded integuments that would have awakened the scorn of a Lazarus. In this awkward emergency the fog and his native generosity came to the rescue. An ancient match seller received the gift with effusive thanks, and then Tommy, now arrayed in a very presentable suit of black, with Inverness cape, betook himself to a hatter's, where suspicions excited by the sodden billycock were quickly allayed by the sight of Tommy's gold. At a neighbouring haber dasher's he next purchased a collar, and a neck-tie of a fervid red you could have almost seen to read by. These he at once put on. He was very particular about the colour and fit of a pair of dog skin gloves, and he carried away in a parcel a shirt, a dickey, and a pair of socks, in order to prepare for eventualities.

Tommy's personal appearance was mending rapidly, and a pair of patent-leather boots shortly became the complemental feature of this astounding metamorphosis. There was nothing lacking now but certain accessories of the toilet, and Tommy resolved as he entered a barber's shop that there should be no shortcomings in this respect. He was shaved, his hair was trimmed and curled, and] his moustache nicely waxed. He discussed current topics with the attendant, on whom]0he bestowed a gratuity of sixpence, and looked at himself in the glass with admiration, not unmingledjWith awe, while he put on his dogskin "gloves. Only one thing marred his content c and that was the consciousness of having a black eye. That was the one jarring note in an otherwise perfect symphony. It was now nine o'clock, so, after buying a huge cigar, which he lighted, and a cherry-wood stick, he tipped his hat a little on one side, and proudly entered " Cogers'."

Three of his companions were still there, and as the door opened there was an expectant look in their uplifted faces. Then, slowly, each one in turn moved pipe from mouth, and gazed with drooping jaw at the astounding apparition. Even the landlord paused in the act of drawing a pot of beer, and shaded his eyes as if dazzled by the splendour of Tommy's appearance. Alexander Macfarlane was the first to recover from the shock. " Who is this plutocrat ? " said he. " The garb is unfamiliar," said Donovan, " but methinks I have seen that polychromatic eye some where before." " Come, come ! This is unseemly mirth," inter posed Charlie Cameron. " I feel awed myself. There is something uncanny and creepy about this — shall I say metempsychosis ? " " Look here," said Tommy Tipkins : " when you've done, perhaps you fellows will have a drink," and he spun a bright new sovereign upon the counter.

They all gathered about it at once. " How on earth," said Donovan, " did you succeed in inveigling this stranger into ' Cogers"? " " I hope, Tommy, it is not the proceeds of a crime," said Alexander Macfarlane gravely. " Shut up, Mac, and order your drink." " My mind misgives me," he replied, " but I will e'en take a wee drop of Glenlivat, and then, perhaps you will expound this thing to us ; but for my part, I don't like the look of it at all." " Fill up, boys ! fill up ! " said Tommy im patiently. " Well," said Donovan, lifting his glass, " I believe Tommy, though rich, to be honest, and will prove that his conduct to us this evening has been strictly honourable." " Come, no more of your epigrams," said Tommy. "I am a changed man, and am going to join the Reform Club. You fellows have always be littled my genius, but I have received suitable recognition of my abilities at last ; my renovated appearance bears me out in this, I trust, and I will only add that my luck begins with a P, and you are at liberty to guess what it is."

" I say pawnbroker, to start with," said Alex ander Macfarlane. "As a corollary to my luck, yes," said Tommy, laughing. " You recognise my present habiliments. The last time I lent you this overcoat you " " Petticoats," interposed Donovan. " Pah ! " said Charlie Cameron, who had recently been cruelly flouted by a pink and white Spiers and Pond young lady. "No luck there." " Perquisites, then," said Donovan. c " Another corollary." " Oh, dash your conundrums ! I might just as well say potatoes and be done with it. " You've hit it," said Tommy, laughing. " The answer is potatoes." "Wh-a-at ! " came in chorus. "Quite right ; potatoes and philanthropy." There was a moment's silence, and then Alex ander looked at Tommy sadly. " Tommy," said he, " you've been drinking a good deal of late, and I'm afraid you have got 'em."

" Pooh ! " and Tommy drew himself up with dignity. " I will shortly prove my statements. Look here, you fellows, you know I have always entertained altruistic principles, often to my own detriment. Well, true to those principles, I cannot in my hour of prosperity forget old friends. I am now practically an employer of labour, and I invite you three to collaborate with me " " Then it is a newspaper," interposed Macfarlane. " What made you say potatoes ? " "It is not a newspaper, and it is potatoes, I tell you. " Oh, go to blazes with your potatoes ! " " And your philanthropy," added Cameron. "Tommy," said Donovan, "you certainly have got em. "Don't be a fool," said Tommy, lowering his voice. " My business may be your business, but it is not everybody's business in this bar. Come outside, and I'll tell you all about it.

It means A PHILANTHROPLST AT LARGE. 21 half-a-sovereign a day to each of you. Wdl that do?" Macfarlane bounded from his stool. " By Jove, boys, come at once ! " said he ; and when they had reached a quiet corner in the adjacent square he added : " Now, Tommy, give us details of the crime." " Well, it is just this. I am now in the service of a philanthropist. The man who came into ' Cogers' ' this evening is his business agent." " That's a rummy sort of agency ; but how the deuce did he come to dig you out of ' Cogers' ' ? " " My virtues have found me out, I suppose, as my smaller vices sometimes do. I can offer no further explanation," said Tommy. " It was your blooming luck, you mean," said Charlie. "As you please. I am satisfied, for he has engaged me to perform certain, as yet, unspecified duties, and has authorised me to employ a staff of not less than three among my friends, who must eschew sack and riotous living."

"If it's the pledge, lam off," said Alexander Macfarlane. " No ; but the booze must be kept within limits." " Who is to be the judge of the limits ? " asked Donovan. " Myself." " You ! Great Scott ! " exclaimed Alexander. " Look here," said Tommy firmly, " I intend to enforce respect. I needn't engage any of you if I don't like. In that sense, I hold you in the hollow of 'my hand. I can very easily find three fellows who would be jolly glad to get five shillings a day. I could then put fifteen shillings a day extra into my pocket ; but to show that I do not possess any predatory instincts, and that I am a staunch upholder of the sacred cause of friendship, I make this personal sacrifice, and offer you each ten shillings a day." " Generosity, thy name is Tommy Tipkins," said Charlie Cameron.

" And yet just now you told me to go to blazes with my philanthropy." " Consider the observation withdrawn, my dear Tommy. But what on earth are we to do for our money ? The honorarium is satisfactory, but " " We don't want to be led into evil courses," added Alexander. " Well," said Tommy, " I can't make it out at all, unless we are to feed East End unfortunates on coffee and potatoes. My patron distinctly said baked potatoes." " We should cut a pretty figure at that game," said Donovan ; " however, it wouldn't be a criminal offence." " Who is the Philanthropist ? " asked Alexander Macfarlane. " Don't know," said Tommy. " Man or woman ? " " Don't know, I say, and don't care. Tapp is the name of his agent, and I am to take you three fellows to see him at eleven o'clock on Mon day, and then, I dare say, you will be as wise as myself."

" What's your screw, Tommy ? " asked Alexander. " The question is irrelevant. Suffice it to say that the stipend is commensurate with my merits." " Modesty sits well upon you, Mr. Tipkins. May I infer that you have had a bit of your stipend in advance ? " " You may." " Do the members of your staff participate in this privilege ? " " If Tapp offers it, yes ; but I wouldn't advise you to ask him. And now, if this thing is settled, we'll return to 'Cogers',' indulge in certain moderate libations, and then I'm off. No dossing for me to-night ; I had thought of going to the Metropole, but upon further consideration, I think I will take genteel lodgings in Gough Square instead. In the meantime, I can lend each of you fellows a half dollar." " By Jove ! " exclaimed Alexander, " the mystery is solved.

You are the Philanthropist." As they re-entered " Cogers' " the landlord beckoned to Tommy. "A messenger boy," said he, " has just left this note for you." " For me ! " and Tommy turned guiltily red, but without cause, for the note was simply this .* " Dear Sir, " Oue thing I forgot to impress upon you, and that is absolute secrecy. Your three friends, too, must be able to keep their mouths close shut. Impress that upon them, and be at Portland Place, all of you, at eleven sharp on Monday. "Yours truly, " W. H. Tapp." Tommy was jubilant. " Alec," said he, " do you think you could keep your mouth shut? " " To any reasonable extent, yes. Why ? " Tommy handed him the note. " Read it," said he, " and pass it on to your fellow scoffers. Aha ! " he added a moment later. " You are satisfied at last.