Gay Dads

Front matter

Abbie E. Goldberg

QUALITATIVE STUDIES IN PSYCHOLOGY

This series showcases the power and possibility of qualitative work in psychology. Books feature detailed and vivid accounts of qualitative psychology research using a variety of methods, including participant observation and field work, discursive and textual analyses, and critical cultural history. They probe vital issues of theory, implementation, interpretation, representation, and ethics that qualitative workers confront. The series mission is to enlarge and refine the repertoire of qualitative approaches to psychology.

Contents

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Acknowledgments Introduction: Gay Parenthood in Context Decisions, Decisions: Gay Men Turn toward Parenthood

Index

About the Author

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Writing this book was a journey. Before I even began the writing process, I engaged in five years of participant interviews. I did not do all of these interviews by myself—I had a team of fantastic graduate research assistants who assisted me. I am deeply grateful for the sensitivity, care, and discipline of my doctoral students Jordan Downing, Lori Kinkler, April Moyer, Hannah Richardson, and Christine Sauck, all of whom interviewed participants. These same graduate students also helped to transcribe the open-ended interviews, a process which took several years. This book would have never come to fruition without their collaborative and disciplined work ethic. Many hardworking undergraduate research assistants also provided transcription assistance. Special thanks are owed to those undergraduate students who put in several years of service to the Transition to Adoptive Parenthood Project. These “longtimers” put in many hours transcribing the interviews, editing them, and sharing their ideas about them with me. I know that my research assistants will recognize and recall with much fondness the voices featured in this book.

I am also indebted to my superb mentors and colleagues, most notably, Katherine R. Allen and Maureen Perry-Jenkins. Both women nurtured my intellectual development, provided me with support and guidance, and on more than one occasion gave me the “rah-rah!” I needed to continue. In addition, they have also been wonderful friends and collaborators. I am also very grateful to have such excellent friends and collaborators in Dana Berkowitz, Mark Gianino, Kate Kuvalanka, Ramona Oswald, Lori E. Ross, Stephen Russell, and JuliAnna Smith. I have found an “academic family” in these individuals, all of whom study or have collaborated with me on research related to sexual diversity, social justice, or gay-parent families. Without them I would be an island.

I am also deeply grateful to my funders, who recognized the potential of this work and provided the resources to help make it happen. Clark University, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, and the American Psychological Association all provided funding that enabled me to conduct this particular study on gay fathers’ transition to adoptive

>> vii viii << ACKNOWLEDGMENTS parenthood. I am fortunate to have received funding from the Williams Institute, the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association, the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, the Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues, and the Spencer Foundation to conduct further follow-ups of this group of men.

I am also filled with gratitude that I have such a wonderfully supportive group of colleagues at Clark University. Michael Addis, Esteban Cardemil, James Cordova, and Wendy Grolnick all read many drafts of my initial grant proposals on this topic. They—and the psychology department at as a whole—have always been supportive and encouraging of my research on this topic, for which I am so appreciative.

My journey in writing this book was deeply enriched by the editorial guidance of Jeanne Marecek and Michelle Fine, the series editors, and Jennifer Hammer, my editor at NYU Press. They provided important critical feedback at every stage of the manuscript. I could not have asked for more dedicated and thoughtful editors. Their wise insights and ability to see the bigger picture truly facilitated a finer finished product. I also thank the two external reviewers for engaging with my manuscript so fully and for offering valuable and constructive feedback.

I am thankful, beyond words, to the men in this study. They shared their stories, struggles, heartaches, joys, successes, and insights. They let us into their lives and enabled us to learn from them. I am so moved by their willingness—and often excitement—to let us share with them the intimate and often challenging experience of transitioning to parenthood. This book is for them, and all the gay fathers who preceded them and who will follow them.

They say that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and they are right. Iam grateful to my inner circle of family and friends who have helped me to maintain a balance between work and play. I share all my successes with them, because they have been my biggest supporters—in particular, my parents, who taught me that I could achieve anything, and my brothers, who let me believe that.

Finally, I cannot begin to express how grateful I am for the love and support of my immediate family. Owen, my husband and partner, has ensured that I have time to write and work, while also filling my life with so much light that I am regularly drawn out of my literal and symbolic “office? I have him to thank for everything. Alex, my daughter, is the firefly at the center of that light. She has redefined my life and my understanding of what is important, and for that I am deeply grateful.