The Female Face in Patriarchy

Front matter

The Female Face in Patriarchy

Oppression as Culture

Frances O'Connor ° Becky S. Drury

Contents

Introduction 1

I. THe FACES OF UNITED STATES WOMEN 1. The Air We Breathe 5 2. Standing with the Tide 15 3. The Power Paradigm 23 4. Mentors or Tormentors? 31 5. Privileged and Pedestaled 41 6. Injustice Burns the Soul 53 7. Shedding the Shackles 61

II. THE FACES OF BRAZILIAN WOMEN 8. Hope In the Midst of Heartache 77 9. In God's Image? 85 10. Victims or Perpetrators? 93

Chapter 1

Women will have the place in the church they want when they can silence the voice that says, “You are not worthy.”!

hy is it that so many women across this country feel undeserving of a

more participatory role in the church? Why do some women indicate repeatedly that their place is in the pews, that they are not holy enough to be eucharistic ministers or intelligent enough to be in decision-making roles in the church? More importantly, Susan Muto asks, “What has deformed women’s thinking and self-image to such an extent that they do not consider themselves worthy?”

One of the many reasons for this feeling of unworthiness is the way women have been, and are still, treated by some of the clergy. Two experiences illustrate this assumption: First, a woman in a midwestern parish, a minister of liturgical art responsible for decorating the church for the various feasts and seasons of the church year, was talking to her pastor. The question of women’s role in the church surfaced in their conversation and she remarked that she did not feel called to ordination nor was she interested in being a priest. “All 1 want is a little respect,” she told him. He retorted, “Why do you think you deserve respect? You're only a woman!” Although few priests are as blatant in their response, many women have indicated that they receive the message of their “unworthiness” in various ways from the clergy. In a second example, a woman eucharistic minister on the East Coast made it a practice to call each person by name when distributing communion. The pastor disapproved and told her not to do it because more parishioners were approaching her than him. However, since the woman knew the people in her parish so well, she felt called to continue the practice. One Sunday she happened to be at the same communion station as the pastor, and he heard her addressing each person by name. After they had returned to the altar, he struck her on the arm and told her he wanted

O'Connor, Frances B, and Becky S Drury. The Female Face In Patriarchy: Oppression As Culture. E-book, East Lansing, MI: Michigan State University Press, 1999, https://doi.org/10.14321/9780870134944. Downloaded on behalf of Unknown Institution to see her in the sacristy after Mass. The whole congregation was witness to her humiliation.

These and similar experiences are among the reasons why some women have internalized only the first part of the prayer before communion—“Lord I am not worthy’—and cannot quite believe that God has “said the word” and healed women as well as men in our church.

As this book progresses, the reader will discover why some women in Brazil and the United States, who have been victims of patriarchy for centuries, endeavor to sustain gender inequality within the patriarchal structure of the Catholic Church. Our purpose is to raise women’s awareness to how they have been conditioned by the patriarchal church throughout history; to how that conditioning has caused them to be seduced into the very system that oppresses them; and to the fact that they must take responsibility for their own actions. It is not our intent to blame women for the success of the patriarchal system.

The patriarchal socialization of women has conditioned them to think, act, behave, and react as second-class members of the church. “Women are socialized to believe that they are good by accepting the dominant male view of how women ought to act,” says Rosemary Radford Ruether.? Women have internalized the message that behavior accepted by society, the institutional church, and its leaders is what constitutes a “good woman” or a “good sister” and that any other conduct is displeasing to God. “If the normative powers of any culture tell the out-group that they are not able to do what the normative group does, then of course they believe it,” states Joan Chittister.* This is one reason why a woman will say, “Oh, I do not think I could be a priest.”

For women to exist in this suffocating atmosphere in the patriarchal church is analogous to struggling to survive in a house where carbon monoxide is spreading through every room. Patriarchy, like carbon monoxide, is insidious because it is colorless, odorless, and invisible. The human body does not detect the presence of carbon monoxide: it interprets the gas as oxygen. Likewise, women are not even aware they are absorbing patriarchy into their systems. As with the air they breathe, they take the patriarchal system for granted, rarely think of it at all—yet its effects are deadly.

Like carbon monoxide poisoning, patriarchal conditioning can be either intentional or accidental. Despite efforts in recent years by theologians and writers to raise women’s awareness of the damaging effects of patriarchy, far too many women still choose to model the “good woman” in today’s church. Others are unconsciously drawn to patriarchy because their conditioning is so complete. Many women have come to believe they are second-class citizens

connor, rend NA have lost sight of the Christian teaching that we are all one in Christ Jesus.

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The longer women delay addressing the lethal effects of patriarchal dominance, the greater the damage to them will be. Women’s self-images become warped, bent, twisted, and paralyzed by continued exposure to this debilitating message.

Women have been conditioned by the Catholic Church to:

— relate to a male God only;

— trust in an external, superior male authority;

— believe that only males have been called by God to preside at the altar;

— believe that decision making in the church should be done by men only;

— believe that responsibility and power belong rightly to men;

— believe that the male is the norm and thus that the term “men” includes women also.

Concurrently, these same women have absorbed the message that:

— women’s place is only in the home;

— volunteer service in the church is a privilege;

— the more humble women are, the holier they are;

— women’ role is to be secondary and supportive;

— a silent, passive, and obedient Mary is the model for “good women”;

— “good women” do not question the priest's, the bishop's, or the pope's pronouncements.

These presumptions reinforce patterns of dependency and passivity that keep women in a state of mental “unworthiness.” For many women the church is their security; they know their place and accept the structure. Some women embrace the hierarchical system, wanting and needing someone to define appropriate behavior and hold them accountable. In doing so, they sustain the very institution that keeps them oppressed. The passivity that results from patriarchal conditioning often produces behavior like that of a woman in Baltimore who told a friend who was questioning the actions of the clergy to calm down, center herself, and she’d see that everything in the church was okay. “Its you who have the problems,” she said.

This patriarchal conditioning has so debilitated some women that they continually look to the clergy for approval. Joan Chittister, OSB, observes that there are women all over this country who are afraid to admit they are feminists or that they desire equal participation in their church. They are afraid, not just because their husbands or women friends would be furious, but also because their pastor might say, “Oh, don’t tell me you are one of those!” Consequently, these women internalize the message that they are inferior. They o'connor, «ROW, Lown, £9. stunted.expectations and logk.to the clergy for approval.> They

E-book, East Lansing, MI: Michigan State University Press, 1999, https://doi.org/10.14321/9780870134944. Downloaded on behalf of Unknown Institution keep quiet and do what a “good woman” or a “good sister” in the church is expected to do. They do not rock the boat, and they continue to inhale the debilitating air of patriarchy.

As with carbon monoxide poisoning, the effects of patriarchal dominance can sometimes be reversed. Both maladies respond to deep draughts of oxygen. Thirty years ago, Pope John XXIII tried to open the windows of the church to let in fresh air. Yet today women are still being asphyxiated. The windows remain closed, locked, and sealed against the message of Jesus for women. Continued clerical dominance is depriving women of the very breath of life and depriving the universal church of the richness of their gifts. The clerical voice that inundates women with the poison of “you are not worthy” will only be silenced when women unite, break open the sealed windows, and inhale the fresh air of equality. Only then will they be able to assume their rightful place in the church.

Is there no other way to describe patriarchy than as a deadly fume that cripples women’s minds and intellects or as a poison that has deformed women’s images of themselves and their God? Both male and female theologians have offered valuable insights into the nature of the patriarchal dominance that has for centuries permeated the Catholic Church. Bishop P. Francis Murphy of Baltimore, an advocate for women, best described its pervasiveness when he said:

Patriarchal dominance pervades our church, a dominance that excludes the presence, insights, and experience of women from the “table” where the formulation of the church's doctrine takes place and the exercise of its power is discerned. It likewise excludes women from presiding at the table where the community of faith is fed. This patriarchy continues to permeate the church and supports a climate that not only robs women of their full personhood, but also encourages men to be domineering, aggressive and selfish.®

Women were granted equality at the time of creation: “In God's image God created them; male and female God created them” [Gen 1:27]. This truth was reiterated by Paul, who stated, “There does not exist among you . . . male or female. All are one in Christ Jesus” [Gal 3:28]. Patriarchy takes away this equality. It robs women of their full personhood and relegates them to second-class membership in the church.

Rosemary Radford Ruether maintains that the nature of patriarchy is divisiveness.

I think there are all kinds of divisiveness, and patriarchy by its very nature constructs divisiveness between all of the subgroups. Thats how it conquers. O'Connor, Frances sts eadlexbidividenand-con REN: Obpression As Culture.

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One of the most prominent examples of divisiveness the church has been successful in maintaining is that between sisters in religious orders and other women. Fear, mistrust, jealousy, and misunderstanding have characterized the relationship between these two groups of women for centuries. Chapter 5 addresses this in detail and speaks of the efforts being made to heal the rift that has separated these women in the church.

What crystallizes the heart of patriarchy for theologian Elizabeth Schüssler Fiorenza is dependence on and control by men in power. Obedience is the essence of patriarchy, she maintains. Her personal story illustrates her conviction.

In 1963 when I completed my Master of Divinity and licentiate examinations, the Second Vatican Council received a petition to consider women’s ordination to the priesthood. Since I was the first woman to receive a theological degree in Wurzburg, the faculty assured me that they would recommend me for ordination if the council approved of it. I replied that I did not think 1I had a vocation to become a pastor in an isolated village in the woods. However, I asserted, I do have a vocation to become a bishop. “That will never happen,” the dean assured me. When I asked, “Why not?” he explained: “Because then we would depend on you and owe obedience to you 8

The following definition touches the heart and soul of women whose awareness has been raised: “I find patriarchy everywhere: men and the things men do have been valued a lot in every place and time, and women and the things women do have been valued less. That tilt is the essence of patriarchy.”? Why, after almost two thousand years of Christian living, have women not been able to free themselves from the downside of that tilt? More importantly, why have some women allowed themselves to be co-opted into it?

According to Ruth McDonough Fitzpatrick, former national coordinator of the Women’s Ordination Conference, co-optation is the worst problem women face in the church today. The clergy know very well how to co-opt women. They know they cannot bring in a dictator for a pastor and expect women to go along with him. So, consciously or not, they bring in someone who has a similar mind-set, who smiles and puts his arm around the women, visits them when they are sick, makes them believe they are privileged to do volunteer work. Fitzpatrick contends women accept these crumbs gladly because they have nothing else. They feel ashamed to ask to participate more or to criticize because they believe “father has been so nice to them.”!° erda points out,

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The system of patriarchy, can function only with the co-operation of women. This co-operation is secured by a variety of means: gender indoctrination, educational deprivation; the denial to women of knowledge of their history; the dividing of women, one from the other, by defining “respectability” and “deviance” according to women's sexual activities; by restraints and outright coercion; by discrimination in access to economic resources and political power; and by awarding class privileges to conforming women.!!

Women who, for example, silently submit to a domineering, authoritative, rude pastor who labels another woman a “liberal terrorist” because she speaks up at a staff meeting for inclusive language in the liturgy are cooperating with and affirming patriarchal domination. In fact, they are joining the priest publicly in his subordination of women. Many such women will later attempt to salve their consciences by telling the offended woman that they really support her views. This will allow them to maintain their image as “good women” in front of the priest. Such behavior is the ultimate in women’ betrayal of women.

Those who actively join the clergy in their domination of women are exemplified by the sister who worked her way up in the diocesan structure until she was literally in charge of everything and was strategically positioned to help other women. But when the bishop wanted his secretary fired and did not want to do it himself, the sister stepped in and assigned so much work to the secretary that she finally resigned. This clerical injustice was clearly accomplished with the cooperation of a woman.

During our interviews, women in a variety of vocations across this country illustrated their internalization of the patriarchal message of “unworthiness”:

I don’t think I could be a eucharistic minister. I don’t feel I'm holy enough. I don’t toe the line and measure up. I don’t have a right to do something like that. [Young Married Woman]

We accept a male presider who does a terrible job but refuse to consider a female presider who would do much better. [Sister]

When 1 enrolled as a new member in my parish, I was told by the pastor that I could be on the decoration and altar committees. My reply was, ‘That's all right because what else could I do?’[Married Woman]

Despite the avowals of church leaders about women’s equality, the symbolism of a male divinity and male superiority “is so deeply embedded in Christian o'connor, Franctheoke W chureh-sumeture,.ancdlitungical ractice that the Christian imagina-

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Fran tion unconsciously absorbs its destructive and exclusionary messages from childhood on.”!?

Examples from the women interviewed exemplify this. A mother in Maryland told her little girl that no matter how hard she tried she would never be good because only God was good. A married woman in Pennsylvania protested that she could never be a Eucharistic minister. She didn’t feel she was holy enough because she hadn't dedicated her life to God like the priests had. “I don't feel I have a right to do something like that,” she said. Consider the sisters in Louisiana who, when celebrating the parish’s centenary, collaborated to publish in a brochure the names of all the individual priests who had served in the parish, while lumping all the sisters under a generic title. Or the sister in New York who, when asked by a fifth-grader if God loved boys more than girls, did not have an answer. “What the sisters taught me in school was what influenced me more than my parents,” observed an Italian woman. “My mother was widowed early and was strong, not submissive. Being submissive came from the sisters.”!?

Women have so internalized the message of patriarchy that their behavior proclaims to everyone that they are “unworthy,” that they have not been healed. They are a model that contradicts the message of Jesus for women.

Another message the patriarchal church imparts that many women have internalized is that of complementarity. How many times have women heard their role in the church defined as different but complementary? In Pope John Paul lIs letter to women in July 1995, he said, “Woman complements man, just as man complements woman: Men and women are complementary. Womanhood expresses the ‘human’ as much as manhood does, but in a different and complementary way.”!*

Tom Fox explains the church's position on “complementarity” as:

The church teaches that women are equal to men but by nature are different. The Creator intended that they “complement” men. Thus, their nature is different from men—and only men can “image” Jesus and officiate in the celebration of the Eucharist following Jesus’ command: “Do this in memory of me.”)>

Clearly the institutional church places a strong emphasis on equality between women and men being understood as complementarity, not mutuality. When the church speaks of men and women in complementary roles, the male is always dominant and overshadows the female, who must assume a secondary

How then has it been possible for the strong feminist movement we experience to evolve in the church today? Two factors have greatly impacted this movement, namely, the enormous increase in the number of women studying theology and the birth of independent Catholic movements.

In the 1940s and ’50s women for the first time gained access to formal theological education in this country. ... Between 1976 and 1986, the total enrollment of women in programs leading to ordination (usually the Master of Divinity) rose 110 percent, whereas total seminary enrollment rose only 31 percent. Overall, the number of women eligible for ordination increased 219 percent during this time, whereas the number of eligible men rose by only 7.8 percent. By 1986 the number of women studying theology had more than quadrupled.!° Since 1986 much of the growth in the Master of Divinity enrollment has come from an increase in female students. The number of women enrolled in Master of Divinity programs has increased from 25.7% in 1992 to 28.6% in 1996. Over the five years, the female enrollment has grown by 15.2% while male enrollment has actually declined by 0.7%.!”

Rosemary Ruether maintains:

The last 30 years has spawned an enormous number of semiautonomous Catholic movements which continue to produce all kinds of communications that are not controlled by the hierarchy, i.e. the National Catholic Reporter. It is alternative news on the church that they don’t get from mainline media. !8

These alternate news sources, women theologians, writers, and lecturers, along with movements like Call to Action, Association for the Rights of Catholics in the Church, Women’s Ordination Conference, and Future Church, are raising peoples’ awareness to the debilitating effects of the hierarchical church, particularly on women. They are also reforming women’s thinking and self-image in a manner that is enabling some to believe they are worthy. These movements are infusing fresh air into the church, producing oxygen that is life-giving for women and men alike.

1. Miriam Therese Winter, Adair Lummis, and Allison Stokes, Defecting in Place (New York: Crossroad, 1994), 10. 2. Susan Muto, interview, April 1994.

O'Connor, Frances3, a Resemary Radion Busther. inteniew, March 1994.

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. Joan Chittister, interview, April 1994.

Ibid.

. Bishop P. Francis Murphy, “Lets Start Over,” Commonweal, 25 September 1992, 13.

. Reuther, interview.

. Elizabeth Schüssler Fiorenza, Discipleship of Equals (New York: Crossroad, 1993),

213. 9. Elizabeth Dodson Gray, Patriarchy as a Conceptual Trap (Wellesley, Mass.: Roundtable

10. Ruth McDonough Fitzpatrick, interview, March 1994.

11. Gerda Lerner, The Creation of Patriarchy (New York: Oxford University Press, 1986), 217.

12. Anne E. Carr, Transforming Grace (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1988), 138-39.

13. Interview, woman from the Midwest.

14. Pope John Paul Il. “Letter to Women” in The Tablet, the International Catholic Weekly (London, England, 15 July 1995): 918.

15. Thomas C. Fox, Sexuality and Catholicism (New York: George Braziller, 1995): 202.

16. Catherine Mowry La Cugna, “Catholic Women as Ministers and Theologians,” America 167, no. 10 (10 October 1992): 239-40.

17. Johathan Strom and Daniel Aleshire, eds. The Fact Book on Theological Education (Pittsburgh, Penn.: The Association of Theological Schools, 1996-97), 45.

18. Ruether, interview.

Om nM

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Chapter 2 STANDING WITH THE TIDE

1 think the greatest tragedy is that it is women who largely support the sexist system in Christianity, and that they are also misogynist. There is a great deal to be done to free women’s spirits and minds.!

discussion of women’s cooperation in the patriarchal institutional church

was brought to an abrupt halt when the women heard one of their group announce, “anyone who remains in the church and does not make waves stands with the tide of clerical oppression.” These women had never thought of themselves as part of the “system.”

All of us who attend Mass on Sunday and are participants in or witnesses to sexist language in hymns and liturgical prayer, the exclusion of women from major ministries, ill-prepared or oppressive homilies, or domineering clerical behavior are indeed collaborators in the patriarchal dominance of the church. Women who say, “those little things don’t bother me,” or “father doesn’t mean anything by his language,” or “father is elderly, we have to be patient and tolerant,” are in fact prime examples of those who have been co-opted by the system. Others who grumble and complain on the way out of church but do not have the courage to confront father’s behavior are also promoting its continuance. We laity, observed a woman from the Midwest, have all been so indoctrinated into this system that we are very reluctant to critique it. We shy away from saying it is “wrong” and settle for “unfair.” Then we do not feel so challenged to do something about it.

Why do women do this? Why do so many make excuses, tolerate, and even embrace the very system that ignores their gifts and demeans their status as equal human beings?

One reason is the conditioning of women described in chapter one. Many women are truly convinced that it is Gods will that women remain in “their place” in the church. They believe it because they have been indoctrinated by those clergy who interpret Scripture and tradition as justifying women’ passive

80870134944,

MI: Michi. ehalf of Unknov and submissive roles. They have accepted what patriarchy has taught them, namely, that they are subordinate, inferior, and sources of temptation, and that they do not image Christ and are therefore incapable of performing the ministries reserved to men. They also trust in what they believe to be superior male authority, which reinforces patterns of dependency, thus keeping them in a state of perpetual subordination.

Women who have internalized this message may accept a seat on the parish council but they rarely speak up. Rather, they often ask their husbands or male colleagues to present their ideas while they sit demurely at the table. Often women think loyalty to the church means that they cannot disagree with anything the church says or does. They presume that being faithful means their minds and intellects must be silenced. For some, this brings peace because they do not have to think. For others, it means living with the tension of being unauthentic.

One very effective means used by the church to convince women of their God-given role throughout the centuries has been the portrayal of Mary, the mother of Jesus, as a submissive, passive, obedient model for all women. Mary's courage, strength, and priestly role have been buried for centuries in the recesses of the patriarchal mind. Women who have embraced this deception would not think of asserting themselves or moving out of their prescribed role in the church.

This mentality causes women to devalue themselves and other women as well. If women feel unworthy to perform certain ministries in the church, often they will not approve of other women doing so. Such women thereby defend their heartfelt conviction against attack by those who in their view appear to be the enemy, namely, Catholic feminists. Although victimized by patriarchy, many women, in good faith, continue to support the system and help to perpetuate it.

These are the women who insist:

— the status quo for women is permanently ordained by God;

— women are not really “Catholic” if they don’t obey the priest, the bishop, or the pope;

— women must accept the “infallible” declaration prohibiting women’s ordination.

Their acceptance includes:

— emphasizing the “male” call to priesthood;

— affirming women’s role to be equal but different; E-book, East Larete, aC Ce pil Ria SUBST Ate HOLE AG Se de: decisionmaking; Downloaded on behalf of Unknown Institution

STANDING WITH THE TIDE

— participating in the hierarchical management mode;

— dismissing alternative beliefs about women’s role as wrong or heretical;

— using their power and influence to prevent change from happening in the parish.

Two reasons women embrace the patriarchal system are fear of change and loss of security. Women fear losing what they have as “good women” in the church and often do not have the vision to see that something far better could and must come about. As one woman from a midwestern city said:

We'd like to think that we cherish diversity but when it comes down to the practice of it we're afraid of what that might mean. We can’t let go of the flower we have in order to let something else bloom.

Some of these women are comfortable and secure with their status in the church, while others would like to change, but cannot bring themselves to do so. They feel to be submissive is the way one must act in order to be a good woman. “To change their status in any way is threatening to womanhood in general and to their womanhood in particular. They feel threatened and fear

”2 “Some like things the way they are, with they will lose a whole way of life. women on a pedestal, getting small privileges,” observed a sister from the West, “but you cannot have it both ways, being privileged and being equal.” These same women are happy and feel honored to be able to do the small services women have always done. They like it when father smiles at them and says, “well done.” They are grateful for any little crumb that is tossed to them by the clergy and they are afraid to risk losing it by seeking more.

One example of this was a group of women from a parish in the East, who participated in liturgy at a nearby monastery. When some wanted to ask for a more active role, the others said, “No, they are good men, they let us in. If you push they will close the door.” In other words, do not rock the boat, let us be happy with these crumbs from the table.

Such women refuse to accept that all people in the church should be breaking bread together and no one should have to grovel for crumbs. Their actions oppress not only themselves but all women. They reinforce the message of patriarchy that women are second-class. “The women who feel this way come out of a whole bundle of stereotypes of what women must be, should be, ought to be, and if they break that stereotype, they are really in trouble,” says Miriam Therese Winter.?

Women who stand with the clergy fear not only change and the insecurity it brings but also fear women who are struggling to bring patriarchy to its knees. They are suspicious of articulate, assertive women who strive for co-discipleship for two reasons: either they equate their agenda with the secular feminist agenda, or they are afraid of the feelings that female role models might awaken in them. Both are motivations to cling even more tenaciously to the security of the patriarchal system.

A group of women theologians and students in a large midwestern city provided some insights into these fears and the resulting behavior:

I think that women who assume leadership roles are sometimes opposed by their peers because they are not used to seeing women in a leadership role. They are threatened. They've never done it themselves and don’t want to get pushed into it. I don’t want that role model held up for me. [Student]