Mother on Mothers

Front matter

NEBECCA FEASLY

PETER LANG

From Supernanny to Gilmore Girls, from Katie Price to Holly Willoughby, a wide range of examples of mothers and motherhood appear on television today. Drawing on questionnaires completed by mothers across the UK, this book sheds new light on the varied and diverse ways in which expectant, new and existing mothers make sense of popular representations of motherhood on television. The volume examines the ways in which these women find pleasure, empowerment, escapist fantasy, displeasure and frustration in popular depictions of motherhood. The research seeks to present the voice of the maternal audience and, as such, it takes as its starting point those maternal depictions and motherwork representations that are highlighted by this demographic, including figures such as Tess Daly and Katie Hopkins and programmes like JeenMom and Kirstie Allsopp's oeuvre.

Chapter 2

Emulation, not identification: Sartorial styles, domestic skills and maternal discipline

Bad mothers and poor role models: Maternal inadequacy and the problem of perfection

Conclusion: A call for maternal diversity Bibliography ix

Acknowledgements

I would like to say thank you to all of the mothers who took the time and effort to complete my questionnaire, as I am fully aware that you all had far more pressing demands on your time. Your words have been enlightening and entertaining in equal measure. I hope to have presented your views and opinions as you see them on the representation of motherhood on British and American television; the pleasures and frustrations that you have spoken of are the cornerstone of this research and my hope is that your candid views will go some way to informing future planning and productions. Thank you not only for your answers to my set questions, but also for your broader comments regarding your own mothering practices and family dynamics, and helpful suggestions and recommendations regarding this research endeavour within and beyond the scope of the form. For all of your emotional honesty and candour, once again, I say thank you. I was and continue to be incredibly grateful for your time and efforts, and although it was never my intention, there was the suggestion in a small number of comments that I may have instigated a sense of frustration or disappointment not fully realised until now in relation to those images of motherhood and motherwork that you tend to watch on the small screen.

And for that I am both delighted and apologetic.

Introduction

The lived reality of motherhood has changed in recent generations, and, likewise, depictions of motherhood in the media have been seen to fluctuate and shift. Although research exists to account for the hypothetical or academic reading of such changing maternal depictions, little research exists to account for the ways in which maternal audiences respond to representations of motherhood in the media.

The social, political, self-help and entertainment marketplace present a rather unified and monolithic image of ‘good’ mothering, with the ideology of intensive motherhood being singled out as the only acceptable form of motherwork and maternal investment for expectant, new and more experienced mothers in the contemporary period. The ideology of intensive mothering, or what I shall refer to as the ‘good’ mother, demands that mothers are responsible for the social, cultural, creative, educational, emotional, physical, nutritional and cognitive development of their children. The figure in question is asked to uphold impeccable domestic standards while maintaining a slim appearance and serene demeanour. These stay at home caregivers should, according to the demands of intensive mothering, not only dedicate their entire waking hours to their children, but should find fulfilment and satisfaction in this nurturing role (Maushart 1999; Green 2004; Borisoff 2005; Douglas and Michaels 2005; Warner 2007).

Although the ‘good’ mother is presented as an ideal maternal figure, the reality is that very few women are able to, or would want to, devote their entire being to their children. Women who work outside of their domestic role are deemed inappropriate mothers due to their time away from their children (Borisoff 2005), and the reality of the stay at home mother is often at odds with the serene and satisfied ‘good’ mother due to the physical labour, emotional intensity and financial implications associated with this ideal (Held 1983). Andrea O'Reilly makes the point that the ideology of intensive mothering ‘has become the official and only meaning

2 Introduction of motherhood, marginalizing and rendering illegitimate alternative practices of mothering. In so doing, this normative discourse of mothering polices all women’s mothering and results in the pathologizing of those women who do not or can not practice intensive mothering’ (O’Reilly 2004, italics in original). And the fact that many mothers are unable to mother within the appropriate ideology of intensive motherhood does not seem to lessen the power of this maternal model, rather, as I have suggested elsewhere, it simply means that many expecting, new and existing mothers struggle to uphold, yet continue to speak about, the value associated with this maternal ideal (Feasey 2012a).

A wide array of popular media texts are said to construct, circulate, conform to and thus confirm the appropriateness of the ideology of intensive mothering, with parenting manuals, mainstream film, news reports, advice columns, women’s magazines, celebrity-led publications, and advertising being said to act as ‘the major dispenser’ of the ideals and norms surrounding motherhood (Douglas and Michaels 2005). And although it can be argued that television plays a part in upholding the ‘good’ mother myth, it has also been seen to present mothers as inept, ineffectual and fragile. Indeed, television appears committed to the depiction of single, sexual and scared mothers who are variously struggling with authority and finding little in the way of maternal satisfaction, which might go some way towards exposing the romanticised maternal ideal as precisely that, an ideal.

With this in mind, this book will draw on an online questionnaire in order to shed light and offer critical insight into the varied and diverse ways in which expectant, new and existing mothers of different ages, from different class and maternal backgrounds, make sense of popular representations of motherhood on television. The volume will examine the ways in which these women find pleasure, empowerment, escapist fantasy, displeasure and frustration within popular depictions of motherhood, considering the ways in which such responses inform their own maternal thoughts and practices. This research seeks to present the maternal voice of the audience and, as such, will take as its starting point those maternal depictions and motherwork representations that are highlighted by this demographic. Where appropriate, I have drawn attention to a range of secondary media texts such as news articles, reviews, interviews and the wider blogosphere

Introduction 3 that both underpin and elaborate on such readings and consider the ways in which maternal responses can be understood in light of extant literature from within the fields of feminist motherhood studies, media theory and television criticism.

Each chapter will present a clear and comprehensive account of the ways in which maternal audiences respond to existing representations of motherhood and the maternal role in a number of television programmes, series and genres, with specific case studies being positioned in relation to a wider consideration of motherhood both on and off screen. In terms of structure, Chapter 1 explains why it is important to give voice to the maternal audience before introducing the reader to a range of media methods, each of which has its own stages of development, strengths and limitations, ethical considerations and specific demands on researcher and participants alike. The section foregrounds existing ethnographic work in the fields of feminist mothering, film, television and media studies in relation to harlequin romances, celebrity gossip magazines, female film stardom and soap opera before outlining the nature and scope of this research, paying particular attention to the role of the online questionnaire in gathering views, opinions and comments from mothers in the television audience.

Chapter 2 goes on to outline the maternal figures, tropes and archetypes that have proved popular with mothers in the audience, and yet despite being asked to consider a limitless range of programmes, genres, channels and schedules, audiences spoke favourably about a very small number of televisual presenters, performers and characters, demonstrating something of a maternal consensus, dependent on generation, in their routine viewing pleasures. Audiences have historically been said to invest and identify with particular characters based on a sense of community, commonality and shared experience and, as such, Chapter 3 introduces the reader to maternal comments regarding notions of identification and the ability to relate to representations of motherhood on the small screen, be it in terms of motherwork, domestic practices, lifestyle or sartorial choices. Again, a diverse maternal audience seemed to unite in their, this time, frustrated commentary as they tell us that they barely recognise the maternal roles that are played out in the television landscape, acknowledging the entertainment and escapist fantasies on offer in the medium while

4 Introduction simultaneously deriding the lack of believable, relatable figures. Chapter 4 draws attention to those representations of motherhood that audiences deem to be flawed, negative and problematic, considering why mothers choose to watch or avoid such ‘bad’ maternal figures. Although a number of women made the point that they would never judge another mother, the extremes of perfect motherhood and selfish parenting were simultaneously judged and found wanting by the majority of maternal viewers. In short, the research seeks to understand the ways in which certain depictions of motherhood are reviled while others revered, and the ways in which these distinctions can be seen to pick up on broader debates concerning the socially acceptable ‘good’ mother or the culturally inappropriate ‘bad’ mother. The conclusion draws attention to what is seen asa lack of maternal diversity on television. Respondents routinely and repeatedly commented on what they viewed to be predictable stock characters and limited maternal stereotypes, with minority maternal groups being said to be overlooked, and, on the rare occasion when they are given screen time, exploited. The maternal audience united to voice their concerns over the medium’s continued commitment to maternal extremes, with an overwhelming outcry for a wider scope and breadth of mothering depictions.

The women who responded to my questionnaire have been open, honest and indeed candid about their viewing pleasures, frustrations and criticisms in relation to representations of motherhood on television and their views have offered the first real insight into this topic within the fields of television, media and gender studies. However, their voices have not only added significant original thought to the academic community, but must be seen to open up a dialogue with the wider entertainment arena. Although many women spoke of favourite maternal characters, preferred presenters and mothers on the small screen that they were invested in, they appeared to speak in agreement when they stated that they did not feel fairly or appropriately depicted on television. Women felt that there were very few characters that they could relate to and that those women who were regularly and routinely seen on screen played to narrow and divisive extremes of parenting.

There is clearly a burgeoning interest in feminist research on the institution of motherhood, ethnographic work that engages with maternal voices,

Introduction 5 media research on representations of motherhood in popular culture and social and economic projects committed to the reality of motherwork practices, and I hope that this research can be seen to contribute in some small way to each of these fields of study and perhaps initiate a drive for more maternal diversity on and beyond the small screen, be it for public service purposes or commercial profit.

CHAPTER I

Media methods research: Finding audiences and giving a voice to mothers

Film, media and television studies have, since their emergence, relied on a diverse range of research theories, methods, practices and approaches in order to examine what is deemed important, significant and of interest to both the academic community and the wider society. Textual, discourse and content analysis, focus groups, interviews and questionnaires are but a few of the qualitative and quantitative techniques used to explore the popular media environment. Each method has its own unique structures and stages of research, its own strengths and limitations, and the use of a particular approach depends on the aims and objectives of specific research projects. While some projects demand breadth and scale, others are committed to the minutia of a particular area; while some seek to offer informed debate as part of a theoretically rigorous desk-bound study, others prefer to position audience voices at the forefront of their research.

In order to understand and give voice to women about their responses to representations of motherhood on television, it is important that we understand the ways in which questionnaires, interviews, oral histories, netnographies and focus groups have been and should be employed by the researcher. It is not my intention to look in detail at the pros and cons of each available media method — indeed, there are a myriad of successful volumes dedicated to that particular topic (Priest 2010; Berger 2013) — rather, this chapter will give a brief overview of existing ethnographic studies that present women’s responses to gendered media genres, namely, harlequin romances, celebrity gossip magazines, female film stardom and soap opera, before outlining the ways in which I looked to find suitable participants, listen to their voices and present their views as they relate to maternal depictions on the small screen.

I have previously examined representations of motherhood on popular television and considered the ways in which such depictions inform the ‘good’ mother myth in an age of intensive mothering and the professionalism of motherwork, paying particular attention to the ways in which maternal images might be seen and understood by the mother in the audience (Feasey 2011, 2012a, 2013). Although this work was crucial in presenting the relationship between media and motherhood studies and in foregrounding historic and more contemporary representations of motherhood in the entertainment area in relation to the changing social, sexual and political context, what was missing here of course was the voice of the audience. My research within the field of feminist television studies was not unique in this regard; indeed, much seminal work points to a hypothetical viewer and an imagined spectator rather than giving voice to those in the audience (Dow 1996; Haralovich 1999; Brunsdon 2000; Brunsdon and Spigel 2007; Lotz 2014). This textual research is crucial within and beyond the field as it allows us to understand and reflect upon those gendered images that both saturate the media environment and inform our common sense notions of appropriate, inappropriate, credible and devalued sex and gender roles within the contemporary period. One might hope that such literature plays a role in the ways in which future representations of gender inform the entertainment marketplace within and beyond the public service remit and speak to the importance of such roles and representations for a range of social and identity programmes.

Acknowledging and unmasking existing, new and forthcoming representations of gender is crucial within academia, and yet, the near universalism of textual analysis has resulted in theorists overlooking the role of the audience and the significance of their voice as it either chimes with or challenges extant literature within and beyond feminist media and motherhood studies.

Audience and reception studies

That said, there is a small number of theorists who have, since the emergence of feminist media studies sought to redress the balance, and put audiences front and centre of their research, drawing on a range of questionnaires, interviews, focus groups and surveys. This work has to be applauded for its contribution to the fields of gender, media, sociology and motherhood studies because, ‘critical readings of “texts” mean nothing without at least some attempt at ethnography — how people actually watch TV, for example’ (Wolff 1993).

Janice Radway’s seminal Reading the Romance: Women, Patriarchy and Popular Literature (1984/1991) was groundbreaking for its ethnographic study of a group of longstanding female romance novel readers in a Midwestern American city. At a time when much feminist theory derided popular romances for their patriarchal narratives of male domination and female submission, Radway looked to challenge such research by considering the ways in which readers made sense of and found pleasure within these seemingly ephemeral volumes. Radway combined reader-response criticism with anthropology and feminist psychology, in order to discover why romance readers remained loyal to their chosen genre texts. She asked readers to explore their own reading practices rather than to make assumptions on their behalf. Radway discovered that these women devoted endless time to their families, yet received little attention in return. From this perspective then, these women looked to romance fiction as an escape from their mundane domestic routines, focusing on a caring and tender hero who provided the much-needed attention that they felt was missing from their lived reality. By speaking to the readers themselves, Radway discovered that romance readers were not, as previously assumed, passive recipients of fairy-tale narratives, but rather, frustrated wives and mothers who admired strong, resilient and intelligent heroines, heroines who defied the expected stereotype of the genre. Through focus group debate and continued discussion with these women, Radway came to understand how these readers turned to these ostensibly patriarchal texts at times of

I0 CHAPTER I resentment at their own limited life choices. Radway spoke throughout this work about the need to shift our attentions away from text-based analysis whereby the scholar offers theories concerning general reading practices, to what she referred to as ‘the complex social event of reading’, looking beyond the text itself to a greater understanding of the complex relationship between text, culture and reader (Radway 1984/1991).

A decade after the publication of Radway’s important volume, Joke Hermes looked to examine the ways in which magazine readers made sense of gendered publications by conducting extensive interviews with readers. In Reading Women’s Magazines: An Analysis of Everyday Media Use (1995) Hermes employed reception analysis in order to explore the ways in which women used such ephemeral texts in their daily routines. While extant literature on the women’s magazine sector tended to show concern for passive female readers in opposition to the privileged feminist author, Hermes was keen to show that readers were not as earlier research had suggested, cultural dupes or silly housewives. Hermes took respect for these women as her starting point, emphasising their agency rather than dependency on gendered magazines. And although one might suggest that the reader response findings appeared banal, this was precisely the point of the research. Hermes was not seeking to reclaim these magazines or to theorise readership responses, but rather, to understand the role of these texts in the lives of the reader. This research suggested that women’s magazines were a valuable and unique genre due in part to the fact that they allowed women to forge imagined communities with one another and, rather controversially, to “inoculate readers against lived events that they might encounter in their own lives.

However, beyond this, Hermes found that readers had little interest or investment in the content of these texts, but rather, that they valued them for their ability to fill small gaps of time in their daily routines. Although women’s magazines do on occasion and for a fleeting period afford women a symbolic space within which to imagine their ‘perfect selves’ this was not why they continued to look at these texts. Indeed, it was clear that very few women were able to recall a single article, feature or theme from their recent reading encounters. Hermes was not defensive about her decision to base her research exclusively on readers’ perceptions of women’s magazines,

Media methods research Il nor did she feel the need to reintroduce the voice of the ‘exceptionally knowledgeable’ reader. Rather, when she discovered the limited meaning that these texts had in the lives of the reader, she continued to remind us of the importance of reader responses over textual approaches, irrespective of, or precisely because of, the ostensibly trivial commentary unearthed in her research. After all, text-based research perpetuates the ‘fallacy of meaningfulness’ as this approach gives voice to academic interpretations, interpretative repertoires and theoretical considerations in a way that has little in common with the average, mundane, normal or ‘ordinary’ reader (Hermes 1995).

On the back of existing literature concerning the ways in which female readers responded to a range of romance narratives and the gendered magazine sector, Peter Jackson, Nick Stevenson and Kate Brooks combined interviews with editors and key production staff, content analysis and focus group discussions in order to locate the appeal of men’s lifestyle magazines. The volume, Making Sense of Men's Magazines (2001), hoped to examine the ways in which these texts played a role in the social construction of contemporary masculinity for young readers. However, what was significant about this volume was not simply the findings offered by the group discussions in relation to notions of capitalism, consumption, masculinity and gender politics, but also, and perhaps, more importantly, their candid assessment as to the reality of doing ethnographic research. These authors sought to speak to readers in line with Radway and Hermes before them, trying to discover the pleasures and frustrations on offer in texts such as FHM and Loaded against notions of irony and retro-sexism that underpinned textual considerations of such work, but they struggled to locate willing participants.

These researchers looked to secure focus group discussions in Shefheld and London, seeking to recruit readers and non-readers from a wide range of age, employment and educational backgrounds. The book tells us that after distributing 200 flyers in their chosen locations, 11 individuals suggested that they would be available for a focus group. However, two of these were clearly ‘joke’ submissions, with only one person arriving for the discussion. The notion of a focus group soon turned into an interview situation, at which point the tape-recorder microphone stopped working, leaving no meaningful or lasting record of any audience research having taken place. Jackson, Stevenson and Brooks did eventually find relevant participants after using the snowball technique whereby researchers looked to friends, family and their wider social and professional networks to secure respondents for their project. The authors proposed that the men’s lifestyle magazine market should be understood as a cultural response to social change, rather than as a backlash to feminism or escapist fun, and yet, irrespective of the fascinating findings of the research, this work was valuable for its candid presentation of the problems of reception studies in terms of finding willing and relevant participants and then getting them to commit time and energy in the shape of focus group sessions. The authors were frank about the difficulty of finding the appropriate facilitator for this gendered project, and the challenge of encouraging and maintaining group interaction across social and economic demographics (Jackson et al. 2001).

The return to the reader, or reception studies, was also evident beyond those interested in print media. After all, at a time when Radway was interviewing romance readers in order to better understand their reading habits, Ien Ang was looking to examine the ways in which Dutch viewers responded to the American prime time television soap opera, Dallas (1978-91). The findings of this research informed the slight but significant volume, Het Geval Dallas (1982), or, as it is known in English translation, Watching Dallas: Soap Opera and the Melodramatic Imagination (1985). Like Radway before her, Ang was not focused on academic readings or a theoretical analysis of the American production, but rather, the research for the volume was based on replies to her advertisement in a women’s magazine, Viva, where she posted a request asking viewers to let her know why they liked or disliked the show in question.

Rather than view audiences as passive recipients of the powerful cultural industries, Ang sought to discover the ways in which international audiences made sense of and found (dis) pleasure in the long-running programme. The research focused on notions of realism, fiction, melodrama and feminism as they were highlighted in the letters written, embracing the complexity of readers’ responses to the show in question. Reponses came from loyal fans of the show, those who claimed that the programme was trash (even as they admitted to watching), and those again who mentioned

Media methods research B that they barely watched television (even though their commentaries suggested otherwise). However, irrespective of how these audiences positioned themselves in relation to television in general and Dallas in particular, Ang was interested in trying to understand what pleasures were on offer in the popular text.

While some respondents disliked the show for its low-brow soap status, for exploiting the most base common denominators of taste and distinction, others resisted or negotiated the ideology of mass culture by way of an ‘ironic’ mode of viewing; others sought to defend themselves from the ideology of the text while others again appeared unaware of any ideological structures present. The letters revealed a variety of responses to the ideology of mass culture that informed the programme; so too, they revealed differences in terms of debates over realism and identification. Respondents suggested that the pleasure of watching Dallas came from recognition, from being able to identify with and relate to the characters, locations and scenarios; however, there was no single agreed or monolithic definition of what was ‘realistic’ in these accounts. While many did not perceive Dallas as realistic on a simple denotative level, some acknowledged that the family structure, importance of home and broader relationships could be read as entirely recognisable, if not realistic (Ang 1985).

In Women Watching Television: Gender, Class and Generation in the American Television Experience (1991), Andrea Press looked at the history of women on television, considering a myriad of representational roles in relation to notions of class, generation and gender, distinguishing between pre-feminist, feminist and postfeminist images on primetime. Press made the point that postfeminist programming continued to present the traditional nuclear family unit as the ideal for contemporary women to aspire to. Press outlined this textual history and an overview of extant television representations before presenting the findings of her own empirical investigation, based on extensive interviews with working and middle class women. This research emerged out of Press’ concern that the media in general, and television in particular, influenced women’s identities in their wider cultural environment. We were told that ‘it becomes more and more pressing to ask how women in our time use the images and ideas our culture makes available to them as they construct their own identities in the world and as they form their own ideas about what is normal and real outside of themselves’ (Press 1991). In short, how had women’s lives and thoughts been influenced by those depictions of feminism, femininity and the woman’s role as it was presented on the small screen.

Press conducted open-ended interviews with working and middle-class female viewers in the San Francisco Bay area in order to examine the ways in which women identified with the gendered images seen on television, paying particular attention to notions of reality and the question of what viewers accepted as realistic in relation to their wider social experiences. We were told that working class viewers are more committed to realism while their middle class counterparts presented a distanced, even ironic, stance when speaking about their television viewing practices and preferences. Press suggested that although middle class viewers were less interested in television than the working class cohort, they ultimately identified more strongly with television characters than the working class audience. Press accounts for this class-based reading by foregrounding the historic middle class bias of much television programming. In short, middle class audiences were said to be able to identify with privileged characters on screen while working class audiences were found to feel alienated by such middle class realism. Press’ overarching contribution here was to note that while working class viewers watch television through the lens of class, the middle classes view through a more gendered lens, contributing therefore to debates within the fields of gender, media and the broader social sciences.

Later that decade, Mary Strom Larson was interested in examining the ways in which adolescent soap opera viewers perceived single motherhood in comparison to those who do not watch such daytime television fare. She began by telling us that television ‘is a major source of information about behaviours appropriate to gender’ and noted that televisual representations have the power and scope to influence a viewer’s perception of social reality. She went on to introduce what she referred to as the ‘serious and costly’ consequences of single parenthood, pointing out that, at the time of writing, “45% of all female-headed households live in poverty ... and children in single parent households are six times as likely to be poor as those in two parent families” She continued to cite details concerning emotional and crime problems, life-long learning disabilities and behavioural problems associated with single parenting (Larson 1996).

On the back of a detailed content analysis of several popular American soap operas it was found that the single mothers depicted in the genre were well educated, in professional, rewarding careers, lived in beautifully furnished homes, wore designer clothing and faced few challenges concerning childcare. Indeed, these women were seen to carry out successful careers, dress impeccably, take time for themselves and still maintain a supporting maternal role. No maternal sacrifices were seen having to be made for children. We are told that the representation of single motherhood in the American daytime soap opera was at odds with the reality of that role, and that it was this disharmony that was of interest to the researcher. Larson wanted to discover if watching these unrealistic depictions of unmarried motherhood on screen influenced understandings about the reality of single parenting in society.

Her findings, based on questionnaires completed by 16- to 18-year-old students, made it clear that those who watched daytime soap operas were ill-informed about the reality of single parenthood, basing their opinions about this parenting status on what were overwhelmingly positive experiences for this family unit in the domestic genre. The young soap opera viewers assumed that single mothers were educated, with good employment prospects and few financial concerns. The optimistic assumptions continued when they noted that they would have healthy babies, an active social life, a beautiful home, designer attire and male friends who helped with childcare. The concern here was that the lived reality of and young people’s perceptions of single parenting were at odds. Depictions of single mothers in the popular genre encouraged young women to think that such parenting had desirable consequences while telling young men that fatherhood comes with few responsibilities, which is problematic if one considers the high rates of unexpected teen pregnancy on both sides of the Atlantic. Larson viewed the media as a powerful force in shaping cultural norms and mores, with televisual representations being said to exert a significant influence on how audiences understood their wider social environment (Larson 1996).