Autobiography of John J. Cornell, containing an account of his religious experiences and travels in the ministry

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Introduction

I have been frequently solicited for several years past to pen an account of my religious experiences, and in answer to enquiries made, I have replied that I had not kept a journal of my life, though there were many events of a peculiar character which had occurred in the course of my ministry that might not only be instructive but interesting to those on whom the burden of society must in after days rest.

I have always felt a shrinking from attempting such a work, from the feeling that it might be deemed egotistical on my part, but now that I have passed my seventieth year, as I become con- "scious if an autobiography is ever written it must be soon, I find my mind drawn to attempt it as a matter of duty, and so I shall send it forth as a faithful transcript of my life, my many experiences while in the service of the ministry and the many and peculiar baptisms I experienced in the preparation for that work, trusting that those into whose hands it may come may find the evidence of the Heavenly Father's care and direction in qualifying me for the service in which I have so long been engaged — and that some may find in the evidences given of His immediate care and guidance, an incentive to, in their day, as faithfully serve Him as the writer has endeavored to do, and that they may find as adequate a reward as has been granted him for his faithfulness in obedience to the requirements of the Heavenly Father.

Inasmuch as since writing the above several years have passed, into which has been crowded much active service, I have

8 Introduction

felt to add to what was then written, and while at the time of writing it I had expected to leave it to be published after my earthly career had closed, I have been, now since I have entered upon my eightieth year, deeply impressed that I had better publish it during my lifetime, so that the responsibility for what it contains should fall upon myself. And I want it to be distinctly understood by all my readers that no one but myself shall be held responsible for whatever of doctrinal views may be found within its pages. They are the result of the revelations of truth that have been made to me and corroborated by my own personal experience.

JOHN J. CORNELL.

CHAPTER I. Parentage and Early Life

My parents were William and Phebe F. Cornell. My father was the son of Joshua and Rebecca Cornell, and was born in the town of Amawalk, in the County of Westchester and State of New York, and my mother was the daughter of Benjamin and Freelove Carpenter and was born in the town of Pleasant Valley, in the County of Dutchess and State of New York. They were birthright members of the Society of Friends and were married in the order of that Society in Crum Elbow Meeting House on the 28th of Fourth month, 1825, and settled in Poughkeepsie, in Dutchess County. My father at that time was employed on a sloop engaged in what would now be termed a floating commission business. They were in limited circumstances and therefore commenced life in a small way.

I was born in that (now) city on the 20th of Ninth month, 1826.

They continued to reside in Poughkeepsie until the spring of 1834, when, in consequence of the business in which my father was engaged, requiring him to stay most of the time in New York City, they moved to that city and remained there for three years. During this time I was sent to the Friends' Monthly Meeting School, then held in a school house on Elizabeth Street, near Hester, and in the yard adjoining the Hester Street Meeting House. I mention this to show that my parents had a care to place me in early life, while obtaining my education, under such influences as would best promote a good moral and religious training. I do not remember that we were then required to attend the mid-week meeting, but the meeting day coming on io Autobiography of John J. Cornell

Fifth day, that afternoon was given us as a half -holiday, and we could attend meeting or not, the school being kept on Seventh day all day, instead of reserving that day for the holiday, as is now the universal custom.

In the spring of 1837 my father removed to Poughkeepsie again, for what cause I never exactly knew, but rather suspect it was for economical reasons. There being no Friends school in that place, I was sent one term to the Academy and the remainder of the year to a select school kept by Solomon Jenny. At that school it was a rule that all the scholars should be taught to sing, and I, accordingly, entered the class, but all I remember of it is that I was given the bass part ; but my father, learning such was the custom, in accordance with the feelings of Friends of that day in regard to music, forbade my attempting to learn any more and made some arrangements with the teacher to excuse me. Whether I would ever have made any proficiency in that art must remain an unsolved problem, for while I am exceedingly fond of good music and especially of singing, I have never been able to carry a tune through, I suppose because my education in that particular, owing to such prejudices, was neglected. During this summer I met with three narrow escapes from death, which undoubtedly had a great deal to do with a serious thoughtfulness that was present with me during all my younger years, even while engaged in mirthful amusements and sports.

The first occurred while rolling a hoop, in the act of which, as I went to pass a team before a loaded wagon, the hoop got beyond my control and rolled against one of the horses : being a young one, as I afterwards learned, it frightened him and he at once kicked, and I was just near enough to receive the blow in my face, but not to get its full force. The driver of the team said I whirled around like a top and fell inward towards the wagon, but he was able to stop his team before the wheel passed over my neck. I was taken up unconscious and remained so for some five hours.

The next time I was in bathing and a young man induced me to dive of! a rock into what he assured me was shallow water,

Parentage and Early Life ii

but which proved to be about ten feet deep, and as I could not ;>wim I came near drowning - both myself and the young man who rescued me. And a little later in the summer, as boylike, I was enjoying myself in sailing on a log in a creek near its entrance into the Hudson River, a man came down on the logs near where I was thus playing after a log for the saw mill near, and losing his balance, in order to regain it put out the pike pole in hand and struck the log upon which I was, overturning it and throwing me into the water several feet deep, and in coming to the surface the first time I came up under the logs upon which he was standing and out of his sight. When I came to the surface the second time he saw and rescued me. After this I kept out of deep water until I had learned to swim.

During the winter an episode occurred which made a deep impression on me and fastened the conviction firmly that corporal punishment in the school room was a barbarous practice and should seldom if ever be resorted to.

It was the practice of the teacher to go to his home for his dinner, and if any of us were unfortunate enough to have missed our lessons he would shut us in the recitation room and lock the door and detain us there without our dinner until his return, he would then hear us, and if we had by that time succeeded in learning it, would be released. On this occasion the largest boy in school, a man in stature, had missed his Latin lesson, and a number of the smaller boys had missed in their geography. When the teacher left he gave me the key to the room and told me when I had finished my dinner to go into the room and hear the boys in their geography and dismiss those who had learned their lesson. As I opened the door for this purpose this young man rushed out. I being only eleven years old, was powerless to stop him. When the teacher returned and I reported the state of things, I saw he turned very pale, but said nothing. When school called he asked the young man to come to his desk, and after a few words he told him he should whip him for it. The teacher was a slight man and the young man taller and much heavier. He took a rawhide about four feet long and struck the young man over the shoulders with it, and then commenced one of the fiercest battles I have ever seen, but in the end the teacher conquered and succeeded in giving the young man a severe whipping, after which he left the school. It seemed to me then and has ever since that a quiet, calm talk with that boy alone would have resulted in his acknowledgment and retention in the school without the teacher losing his control.

In the spring my parents again removed to New York City and the following summer I was sent for three months to a boarding school at Nine Partners, Dutchess County, New York, under the care of the Orthodox Friends, and here I might say began my religious training, as far as the study of the Bible is concerned. My parents had been careful to take me to meeting on First days as far back as I could remember, and I was also very fond of listening to the preaching of George F. White, then in the prime of life and of his popularity, frequently going alone to Rose Street on First-day morning to hear him, our own meeting, while in New York, being held in Downing Street, and was known as the Greenwich meeting.

At this boarding school we had a reading from the Bible every morning at the breakfast table and every evening before going to bed, and First day morning before meeting an hour was devoted to its study, and First-day afternoons the boys all went up into the girls' school room for an opportunity, as it was called, in which there was a time of silent waiting and then the reading of several chapters of the Bible. Had it not been that this was the only time except when at our meals, we had to see the girls, this would, to many of us, have been exceedingly irksome; but as it was, the opportunity was generally looked forward to with interest, even if but little religious instruction was remembered.

The winter following I was at home and attended the monthly meeting school — before mentioned. During the summer of 1839 I was again at Nine Partners Boarding School, and I might

Parentage and Early Life 13

date the commencement of my religious life from that summer. I do not remember that any particular circumstance had peculiarly influenced me to take a religious turn, but during my attendance at school an incident occurred which has had a great influence on my manner of thought in regard to prayer all my life since. I had among my schoolmates a young man who took great delight in teasing the younger boys, and particularly so when he discovered any of us were sensitive in relation to it. And as I was one of these he made my life there out of school hours almost intolerable. One day while suffering from some of his efforts I felt impressed to go up in the upper part of the grounds set apart for us to play in and roam over, in which was an orchard, and pray — and in obedience to the impression, near nightfall, when I would not be observed, I went, and kneeling down in a corner of the fence, I asked in mental thought what shall I pray for, and the answer came, pray for the boy who is annoying thee that he may see the impropriety of his course, and then aloud with an earnest and confiding spirit I most reverently, in my childish manner, asked for him a change of heart. I had no liberty, and did not dare ask for my own deliverance or even for strength to bear, but prayed solely for my persecutor. I arose from my knees feeling strengthened and more light-hearted than I had done for weeks, and when I met the young man the next day he was very kind to me and ceased from that time to annoy me, and became one of my strongest and dearest friends. And this was the first lesson I remember to have been impressed on my mind of the power of the immediate teaching of the Divine Spirit, and that obedience to it produced peace and joy. I have in my possession two letters which I wrote to my mother during that summer, which I found among the papers after her decease — she having preserved them and to which she sometimes alluded when in after years I seemed to forget for a time the deep religious impressions to which I referred in my correspondence. The first of these is dated Sixth month, Eighth, 1839, from which I make the following extract, viz. :

" How good is He who reigns in Heaven. While we are in health we ought to attend to our religious duties and not wait until the trumpet of death is sounded in our ears, for then it will be too late to reform. Hence the necessity of being prepared for the next world. As it says in the Holy Scriptures, wide is the gate and broad is the way that leadeth to destruction and many there be that go in thereat ; but straight is the gate and narrow the way that leads to everlasting life, and but few enter therein. Last night our teacher explained this passage to us, and I will tell thee as near as I can remember how it was explained. Wide is the gate and broad is the way, that is those who walk in that path are those who indulge themselves in all the carnal propensities of their nature and give an unbounded scope to their desires and passions, and many there be that go in thereat ; but straight is the gate and narrow the way that leadeth unto life.' That is the straight and narrow way the Christian must travel. He further explained what was meant by this passage of scripture : ' When thou are about to turn to the right hand or to the left, thou shalt hear a voice behind thee saying this is the way, walk thou in it.' That is, as long as we kept in the narrow way we should hear this voice, but as soon as we turned from it this blessed guide would forsake us."

And the following is from another letter, dated Ninth month, Twenty-eighth, 1839:

" My mind is deeply tried at different times and I have been made to see the goodness of Him who made us, and I have prayed to Him to preserve me in the path of righteousness, that when my time shall come I may go through the valley of the shadow of death and not fear, for I know the Lord will help me and not suffer me to be deceived by the enemy of souls if I will put my trust in Him and take up my cross daily. I have passed many happy hours at the school and since I have been here I have experienced much for the salvation of my soul, and hope I shall experience much more. I can say I have tried to obey the teacher in all things, though I have given him some trouble.

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I hope he will forgive me for it. I have felt condemned for doing what I ought not to have done.

" I thank my God that He has blessed me with good parents who have watched over me and tried to bring me up in the way in which I should go. Dear mother, I now begin to see what a blessing it is to have good parents, and it makes me feel so very bad when I think of the trouble I have given thee that I almost shed tears." * * * *

The following year, as my parents made an extended trip to Canada to visit my father's friends in the hope of bettering the health of my mother, who, while I did not know it then, was suffering from a bronchial attack which made her so hoarse that she was unable to speak above a whisper for many weeks, I was sent to my grandfather's to spend the summer, and but little to note occurred that year ; but on the first day of the year 1 84 1 another incident worthy of record happened, because it has had much to do with my after life and will account to some for my active interest in the temperance movement of my day : It was the custom in the City of New York on New Year's day for the ladies to keep open house and for their. gentlemen friends to call upon them and be treated to cake, and in most cases to wine, and this custom even extended to the children. So on New Year's day of 1841 I went with some of my companions and made eight calls in the afternoon, at all but one of which we took wine, the other serving coffee instead. When evening came we had taken so much wine that I was partly intoxicated, indeed so much so that I could not walk without some staggering. When I went into the house and into the sitting room I found my mother engaged in sewing. As I entered she looked up, and as she saw my condition a look of intense anguish passed over her countenance, but she did not say anything. I dearly loved my mother, and as I caught that look it sobered me in a moment and I realized then what an error I had been guilty of. Without saying anything I went upstairs and to bed, though it was early in the evening, and then commenced the first real struggle of my life. I had been in the habit of going to a grocery store kept by a friend, who had a young man in his employ a little older than myself, and several other boys would meet there and we were occasionally treated to a glass of egg nog — until I had learned to love the taste of it. In my struggle that night I saw I must give up all intoxicants and become a temperance boy. I did not get any sleep until the small hours of the night had come, nor until I had made a solemn vow with my Heavenly Father that I would not again touch liquor in any form as a beverage, and now, while writing this after I have passed my seventieth year, I can say that vow has never been broken.

The following summer I was again placed in Nine Partners Boarding School for six months. On arriving there I found a change of teachers had been made and more rigid rules in relation to plainness of dress instituted, and this for a little while brought me into a little conflict with the superintendent.

When the boys came to dress to go to meeting on First-day I found that a number of them had their double-breasted coats cut over and changed to the straight or standing collar, and as it was the custom to stitch the collars of the double-breasted coats so as to make them keep their place, this cutting over gave them an unpleasant appearance and spoiled them for wearing when at home. My mother had made me a nice new and fine broadcloth roundabout, of which I was, boy-like, very proud. My schoolmates warned me when I wore it to meeting that day that my coat would be " bobbed," as they expressed it, the next day, but I told them I thought not. But on Second-day morning, when school called, Aunt Mary Grifhn, the wife of the superintendent, met me at the foot of the stairs and demanded the key to my trunk. I asked her what for. She replied : " No matter, I want the key to thy trunk." I of course knew what it was wanted for, and then told her if she wanted it to cut the collar off my coat she could not have it, for I would not consent to have it mutilated, but if I must wear a plain coat I would write home and have one made, and that if she could not wait for that I

Parentage and Early Life 17

would take my trunk and go home the next morning. After a little further parleying I had my way, sent and had the coats made and wore them while there, but no amount of persuasion could get them on me after I went home. I mention this incident just to show what seems to me to be a wrong in forcing children to do at school that which they have not been required to do at home, without giving some sufficient reason and appealing to their sense of right, as it largely interferes with their acceptance of what may be required as a duty in after years. As I found, it left so deep a prejudice in my mind against the wearing of the plain garb, once thought so important among Friends, that it was the hardest obstacle I had to surmount when the requirement came that rendered it necessary for me to adopt it as the proper style of dress.

In the early part of the year 1842 my father sold out his interest in the business in which he had been engaged for eighteen years and removed with his family from- New York City to the town of Mendon, Monroe County, in the western part of the State of New York. He was induced to take this step partly because of his distrust of the habits of one of his partners, partly in order that he could be more with his family and partly on account of my sister and myself, that we might, on entering society, form our associations among the Friends of a farming community, and there is but little doubt that this change altered my prospects in life and was the means largely of my entering upon the service for the Master in which I have so long been engaged.

CHAPTER II. Young Manhood and Religious Experience of That Age

While the change from city life to that of the farm was a great one, yet I was able to readily adapt myself to it. The meeting at Mendon was then large for a country meeting and the circle of young people very agreeable, and I was soon engaged with them in the amusements common in that day to assist in the enjoyment of our social mingling. Being possessed of an ardent, impulsive and mirthful nature, I entered into these amusements with a keen zest. My mother, in particular, would frequently remind me that I was not following the religious life upon which I thought I had entered before coming to the country, and my father would chide in a more stern manner for some of what he called our foolishness. And when I returned from the gatherings in which I had often taken a prominent part I felt the warning impressions of the Divine Spirit disturbing my peace and quiet. But while I was unyielding I did not forget what I had known, but I would not acknowledge to myself that my course was incorrect, for the allurements of young society were too strong. Although I could not help but see that my mother was slowly yielding to that flattering but ever destroying disease consumption, and even while on the sick bed, as she would remind me of what I had known and tell me what she saw the Lord was designing me for, still I refused to attend to her counsel ; but when the end came, as it did in the Fifth month, 1844, as I stood by her dying bed, looked upon her encoffined form and saw the remains lowered into the open grave, all the events of my life seem to rise in rapid succession before me. Every occasion when I had brought sorrow to that loving mother's

J.J. CORNELL

(AT 21 YEARS OF AGE)

Young Manhood and Religious Experience 19

heart, seemed to rise as accusing angels, and then, when too late, I fully realized what I had lost in the death of that mother, my grief was too deep for tears, and for days I appeared cold and indifferent to all around me, while inwardly I seemed to be consumed with an agony I have no words to describe. When the fount of tears was opened a softened feeling came into my heart and then I covenanted with my Heavenly Father if He would forgive me I would dedicate the remainder of my life to any service He might call me into. And, except for a brief period, of which I shall speak farther on, that vow has not been broken.

I had been a steady attendant at meetings and loved to go — even while I was so unwilling to yield to what I saw was right. The winter after the death of my mother I was with a company of young people and was importuned to lead in an amusement of which I had been very fond, and after many excuses yielded, but before going far one sister refused to take the part assigned her, and as she had drawn me into it by her importunities it angered me and I refused to go any further and, under the pretence of being warm, which I really was, but for the purpose of reflection I took my chair into an adjoining room, where I could see and not be seen. The young people went on with the play which I had interrupted, but I was in deep baptism of spirit and in close communion with the Divine One. I felt condemned for the exhibition of passion, though transient, I had made, but the dear Father kindly led me to see the folly of spending our time in such frivolity. He showed me that He had endowed us not only with immortal souls to save, but had given us intellectual faculties which might be used by us to entertain and at the same time instruct each other. The manner in which the young were accustomed to pass their time appeared so foolish and unworthy of their high endowments, that I could never be persuaded to engage in them again. I still went with them to their social entertainments, but could always find some one with whom to enter into a conversation in which we would become interested and from which I could derive some instruction, and when I returned from these companies I did not find in the time of quiet reflection anything to regret as I had done before.

I had also contracted a habit of entering into controversy with those either of my own age or even older upon almost any subject that might arise, frequently allowing myself to take a side contrary to my real feelings if that were necessary for an argument. About the time above referred to I was in a company of but a few friends and the subject of the anti-slavery movement was discussed, during which I obtained so decided an advantage over the one with whom I was arguing that in order to extricate himself from the position in which I had placed him by the arguments I had presented, he turned upon me and commenced to ridicule my profession of religion and made use of some very provoking and unpleasant language. While I was able to conceal my feelings it hurt me and left an unpleasant impression of my friend upon me. When I returned home that evening I was led into serious thought in relation to the feeling engendered by this disputation, and in this reflection I found I could not hold myself blameless, and then it seemed as though every circumstance connected with my argumentative disposition came vividly before my memory and I was given to see that my course in this regard had not resulted in any good in the past, and if I continued therein in the future it would dwarf my spiritual growth, and I covenanted with my Heavenly Father that if He would support me I would refrain from the indulgence in any such controversies, and I am thankful now, at this period of my life, that I can look back arid see how, as I was careful to keep this covenant, I was preserved from much that would have hindered my usefulness and disturbed my peace.