Steppings in God

Front matter

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

<^l IT IP.f

COQ\

Introduction

Some time since I wrote a tract entitled " Life in God." It has recently been shown me that I was to rewrite and enlarge this tract. I have followed the Lord's leadings, until it has reached its present dimensions, and a new title has been supplied.

Although it is a personal experience, the principles brought forth are those that are being received by many who would " walk as children of the day."

While professed by all the Church, the principles are misapprehended and not received by the mass, and, therefore, full freedom in testimony is not given.

As an expose of their views and position, as well as my own, I have been led to present the principles that actuate us, and exemplify them by recording some of the " Steppings " given me in a walk with Him who is the " Light of Life."

Those who delight to come to a " knowledge of the truth as it is in Christ Jesus," will read with interest, and, I trust, with profit also.

Those who are fearful and doubting, I pray may, as they read, be strengthened and encouraged to walk in all the appointed way with the eye on Jesus only.

Vlli INTRODUCTION.

Those who feel disposed to criticise will find ample room f or so doing.

To those who would resist and strive to overthrow or blunt the testimony for holy living as therein given, let me say : It is God you fight against, and, sooner or later, you will find, as did Saul of Tarsus, that '^it is hard to kick against the pricks." There may be those who will do this ignorantly, thinking thus to do God service. I pray the Father to *^ forgive them, for they know not what they do." I leave the testimony in the hands of Him who called it forth, knowing that He will use it, whether by my life or by my death.

To those who stand with me in the " fellowship of His sufferings " I would say, " Be strong and of good courage" (1 Josh. ). You may be having your last opportunity for witnessing for the Truth. You are on the winning side. Error must fall before the truth of the Eternal Jehovah. The battle is not yours, but God's (2 Chron. 20 : 1?). '' Stand still " and see His salvation, or press on to the death, if He so lead you. The hundredfold and Everlasting Life are yours. " His right hand and His holy arm hath gotten Him the victory" (Psa. 98 : 1).

(i)1'epping)^ in SJoiL.

STEPPINGS IN GOD.

Chapter I. Consecration

"He that followeth Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the Light of Life."— (John 8: 12.)

Naturally I shrink from revealing to the many my inner life, yet as a whole burnt-offering I lie before God, desiring to be used in any way possible for His glory. Therefore I speak of my experience, trusting thereby to encourage and strengthen some timid, inquiring soul in the way of life.

I do not come before the public as a teacher, but simply desire to give free, open testimony for Jesus, and speak of the possibilities of G-race, as has been revealed to me in my own experience.

Others who have a broader outlook may be induced to set before us the story of their steppings further in the way, and thus encourage and help us who are less advanced to come up higher.

The question is often asked by those who would know the way more perfectly. How am I to obtain power? God is our power. The more we have of G-od the more we have of power. We may not see it thus, may not feel it, but God does, and in His own time He will make it manifest. We must remember *'the kingdom of God cometh not with observation." Then comes the question, " How can I have more of God ? " Simply by that faith and obedience which allows God to have His way in your whole being and life.

We step out of the self-life into Him, where Divine power can more fully rule us.

The watchword from Genesis to Eevelation is Oledience — an obedience every step of which leads to a life of separation for God.

His people are a separate, a peculiar people (1 Pet. 2 : 9).

The one lesson we have to learn is, God made us for Himself ; He hy His Spirit dwells luithin us, and would tlierely teach us all things. It is the significance of our life to catch these teachings and oley.

Then He, working in us to will and do of His good pleasure, can lead us as the interests of His Kingdom demand.

The Scriptures do not authorize us to consider ourselves children of God until we do this. I do not say that He does not recognize us as children, but until baptised into the Spirit of Him who said, "Zo, I come to do Thy toill, my God I " (Heb. 10 : 9), we may not claim that we are His.

Christ came to redeem us that we should no longer live after the desires of the flesh (1 Pet. 4:2); but being saved in Him we are to live unto Him (2 Cor. 5: 15), henceforth having but the one aim, viz., the single eye to the will and glory of God (Matt. 6: 22).

Some may say this is placing the standard too high, that these demands are too strict. We ask, was not this the position of Jesus ? Does not the Word of God declare that " if any man have not the Spirit of Christ he is none of His ? '^ (Rom. 8: 9). Was not that Spirit one of perfect obedience ?

Gladly He gave Himself out thus: "I delight to do Thy will." ^^ As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God " (Rom. 8 : 14). The command is, " Thou shalt have no other God before Me."

Let not followers of Christ plead the apparent laxity on some points in the lives of Patriarchs, or failures of Apostles, for they were men, whom God was educating, with less light and fewer facilities than are open to every Christian now living in the unfolding of the centuries.

Let us use the written Word in our hands, also receiving the Living Word, the Holy Spirit, in our hearts, thereto write His pleasure, and we shall see that " no other God " means that the one God shall engross all our desires (Matt. 22 : 37).

Many, like the Israelites, seem to go to the altar for a blessing, and then pass on in utter forgetfulness of the admitted claims of God upon them, forgetting that the covenant made implies dying with Christ, by which alone we enter into this life. The laws regulating the external alone, are no longer our only rule, but the law must be written in our hearts (Heb. 8: 10), regulating our affections, binding our wills, bringing all into sweet harmony with the Divine will. Even the thoughts are to be brought into obedience to the law of life in Christ Jesus (2 Cor. 10: 5).

The sacrifice offered was only a shadow of what was really required, not only of the few, but also of all who expect to avail themselves of the salvation offered through Christ.

The entire being, body and soul, must lie on the altar, a perpetual sacrifice. We learn something of this in the first chapter of Leviticus.

The burnt-offering, a type of Christ our Example, was to be wholly burnt upon the altar ; all was to be consumed, all was to be disposed of as God directed.

'' There is to be a continual drinking of the cup that He shall give. It may be, pleasing drafts will be given.

AVhat if the cup should prove to be the cup of vinegar mingled with gall, it is none the less the cup of blessing, and of full and unreserved communion.

Often and often perhaps He must return, and ask His chosen

10 steppinCtS in god.

ones *Are ye able to drink of My cup'? (Mat. 20: 22), before that free, calm answer can be given 'VFe are able/ and many an offering must be laid on His altar with tears before the sacrifices of joy are brought there.

Shocks will be given to darling nature, and rocks must be rent before the dead come forth and are loosed.

We are to suffer as well as reign. Ah ! suffer many things before we shall enter into His glory."

By bringing all our powers into subjection to Him, to follow whithersoever He goeth, we shall find the earnest of the full redemption in the continual, though perhaps subdued, song of the heart — " The Lord reigneth."

In Him we rejoice in all our conflicts, and are more than conquerors (Rom. 8:37), and yet in and of ourselves we are less than the least of all saints. This I find to be the universal experience of those who are passing on in the transformation and not stopping in experience or doctrine, or longer comparing themselves among themselves (2 Cor. 10: 12).

We have become tired of the round of duties that yield no life, and now seek that life as found in Christ alone, as the Living Word may bring it unto us.

Miss Greenwell, in the "Patience of Hope," says, "Within a few years a change has come, far more gradually than is generally supposed, over the climate of the Christian World, as if some mighty current like the G-ulf Stream had set in, sending a warm breath across the universal Church, and breaking up the deadly ice of unbelief and indifference ; and though this change may and will be accompanied with shocks and splittings, it is surely the prudent, not the wise. Christian who will on this account withdraw himself from its wide, soulenlarging influence."

From early life I have been a member of an Evangelical church, but for years had felt that in my experience the claims of Grod were not met. I had come forth from the grave of nature, but was bound hand and foot. I asked not for the comforts of grace, I sought not a hope of heaven, but my one longing desire was to satisfy God. I did not then conceive of His looking on me with pleasure and delighting in me. Canticles was to me a sealed book, and the promises of little worth. I saw that Paul and the early Christians had an experience of which I was ignorant. I had life but not the life more abundant (John 10 : 10).

While in the world, the early Christians lived superior to it, and their one desire seemed to be to exalt and honor Jesus.

If I was redeemed, was not this my privilege as well as duty?

If I loved the Lord with my whole heart, soul and mind, would I not live as heartily for Jesus as they did ? Was it thus with me ? No. For a long time I watched those eminent in the Church, to learn where their loves and hopes really centered. Many were the tests I applied to them, eagerly, though with seeming indifference ; watching to see how they would bear the ordeal, that I might thus come to a knowledge of the truth. Many, many are to-day engaged in like investigation. Christian, how is it with you ? Do you stand as a light in the world ?

I would occasionally come in contact with those who, in various circumstances in life, revealed a power ruling them, which to me was a mystery, and what my whole soul longed for. This was marked in my mother, and I have often said she was the means of saving me from being an'infidel. Oh, ye Christian mothers, while you pray for your children's conversion and sanctification, have the "single eye " in your daily life. Whatever the present indication, sooner or later they must be saved, if while living thus you take a firm hold upon, and rest in, the covenant (Psa. 103 : 17, 18). The following, with many other passages, were often brought to my mind with great power, "Ye are not your own, ye are bought with a price" (1 Cor. 6: 19, 20). "W^hosoever is born of God doth not commit sin " (1 John 3:9). *^Will a man rob God?" (Mai. 3: 8).

They conyinced me that I was not right in the sight of God, and my whole being cried out to know the living way. I now see that He was not satisfied with my being saved, and was calling me to be a disciple, but as yet I had not apprehended the truth or the way.

After being long bowed in grief because I found not Him whom my soul longed for, I met a clergyman to whom I confided my state, thinking he would at once lead me into the light.

At first he did not seem to know what to say, repeating many texts at random ; at length he replied, ^^ You have not asked aright," and repeated ^* Ye ask and receive not, because ye ask amiss" (James 4: 3). In agony I said, "Do tell me how to ask, for I have done so in every way I could think." He said, " I don't know, but in some way you do not pray aright, the Word proves it, but go on and you will see."

Oh ye " blind guides" who as hirelings seek to lead and feed the flock ! God have mercy upon you ; how many of the lambs of the fold have been torn — yea, sacrificed, because of your indifference and inefficiency? I do not here refer to the faithful shepherds, who love the cross for Jesus' sake, and who are willing, if need be, to lay down their lives in His service. Had this one, who was professing to stand as in Christ's stead, opened to my view the fulness of grace, and shown me that all was mine, when I believed and appropriated it (Heb. 4:^ 3), I might at once have entered into rest; but as it was I was nearly driven to despair.

After many months I was in conversation with another clergyman, a man of God, and told him how long I had sought for peace, and failed to find it, because I failed to ask aright, and repeated the text that had been branded on my mind, when he very abruptly and even sharply said, '^ Stop! what is the rest of that text ? ' That ye may consume it on your lusts.' Well you know that is not the way you are asking. Let that alone — take promises suited to your case."

Great relief was given me, but I did not yet apprehend Christ in His fulness; this could not be until I had consecrated all, and I had not yet learned the way — that it was, All for ^^?(Mal. 3: 10).

After devising and following every means possible to be brought into the right way, and finding all attempts ineffectual, I determined to give up all formulated creeds and doctrines, take the Bible and live closely by its teachings, cost what it would.

It seemed like a fearful venture, but if the way was therein revealed, should I not thus surely find it ? If it was not there, and I was following a myth, I wanted to be made aware of the fact, then I could dare to fearlessly take my position as a skeptic. Here let me say I have deep sympathy for this class of individuals, for I was long verging on infidelity, from seeing much in professing Christians that proved to my mind that they had not found in their religion a satisfying portion.

Again my own persistent and ineffectual attempts to find what was claimed to be the Christian's portion had led me to doubt the reality of the interior spiritual life.

I was greatly strengthened in reading and studying a work entitled " Philosophy of the Plan of Salvation." This book is very helpful to a certain class of minds, who are seeking for a clearer knowledge of God, whether believers or skeptics.

In order to come to a full knowledge of the truth, the Word must 1)6 tested ly the life. " Then shall ye know if ye follow on to know the Lord " (Ho. 6 : 3).

We must do His will if we would know of the doctrine (John 7:17).

I now saw that *' Looking unto Jesus" (Heb. 12 : 2) was to be my motto. *' Have ye so learned Christ ? " (Eph. 4 : 20), the watchword to guide me in the way. I was simply to follow in implicit obedience.

But I said, this will not do in these days ; it will make me marked and peculiar in my ways, and that would not honor the Lord, for people would see me, not Christ. The word came, " What is that to thee, follow thou Me " (John 21 : 22). Human nature was the same then as now ; Grod's claims the same. Jesus lived thus, and the disciple should be as his master (Mat. 10 : 24). His pleasure was to be studied. His will in all things to be sought.

I had sought God externally and intellectually; now receiving Jesus as my light and life, I was to let Him live out that life in me. Could this be accomplished ? Should I thus prove the reality of a religion I had long professed, and decide, by an experience of 'my oivn, whether God was a living Father, Jesus my Saviour, and the Holy Spirit my guide ?

I saw that I must dare to meet all He met ; I must be willing to be rejected, to have my name cast out as evil ; to go without the camp, bearing His reproach (Heb. 13 : 13); to be classed with a '- peculiar people ;" in a word, I was to do whatever I felt Jesus would if in my place — it was to be " no more I."

Instinctively I shrank from singularity or publicity, and could I yield myself to go, I knew not whither ?

The struggle was severe ; I knew I was taking a step never to be retraced, vows never to be broken. The heavens seemed as brass, and midnight darkness was within and around me, yet grace triumphed and I was enabled to throw myself far, far out into God in complete abandonment, saying, " Lord, make me wholly, wholly Thine, do with me as Thou ivilt:-

I deeply realized that my whole dependence was in Him, although it seemed as if He had abandoned me. If He would come, take possession of, and rule my life, all would be well.

But would He do this ? Was it for me this grace was given ? Yes for me — the Word said " whosoever " (Rev. 22 : 17). Could I believe ? " Lord, I do believe ; help Thou mine unbelief," (Mark 9 : 24).

Again and again I repeated this, with a plea for forgiveness; if I was not all I claimed to be ; ^' Lord, Thou knowest." Yes, He did know. He saw the putting of my feet into the Jordan, and as I did so the waters parted (Josh. 3 : 13).

The Israelites could not see the blood on the lintels (Ex. 12 : 22, 23), but Grod saw it. I could not see the atonement and redemptive power, but I knew it was there.

All I had to do, or could do was to wholly yield myself and trust ; to cease trying to realize the promises as true, but to admit them as thus, on the simple testimony of God.

Waiting upon Him a deep, holy hush came through my being, and I entered into rest.

All was left with God, and I realized a full acceptance. I had but recently lost my dear but invalid mother and had felt that my life-work had been taken from my hands. I now saw that my affections were to be transferred to Jesus, and as I had risked health and life itself for her, so I would now do this for Him if he desired. I was first developed in that which was natural, and now all was to be reproduced spiritually.

Folloiuing on, the Light of Life had come into my soul, and I could say '^ Whereas I was blind now I see " (John 9 : 25).

" Many go through some prescribed course, and because they do not find the Lord ^' go away unto their own home ;" but the one who loveth much, weepingly tarries, and beholds Him whom her soul longed for — hears His voice, and is commissioned with precious service (John 20 : 10-17)."

My soul, learn thy lesson, and ever tarry at the appointed place, until thy Lord appears, and bids thee go endued with power to do His will (Acts 1 : 4, 8).

" O ! the bitter shame and sorrow — That a time could ever be, When I let my Saviour's pity Plead in vain — and coldly answered All of Self, and None of Thee.

Yet He found me — I beheld Him,

Bleeding on the accursed tree ; Heard Him cry, ^Forgive them, Father!^ And my wistful heart said faintly,

Some of Self, and Some of Thee.

Day by day His tender mercy.

Healing, helping, full and free, Sweet and strong, and O ! so tender, Brought me lower — while I whispered, Less of Self, and More of Thee.

Higher than the highest heaven !

Deeper than the deepest sea !

Lord ! Thy love at last has conquered : Grant me now my soul's desire,

None of Self, and All of Thee.''

FIEST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 17

Chapter II. First Steppings Into The Light Of Life

" He giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might He increaseth strength. "—(Isa. 40: 29.)

Havin'G surrendered all, the enemy at once said, '^You have given away all your liberty; you can never again go out or in without permission. Does that become an independent mind ? "

Agonized for a moment, I said, '^Lord, can I take back part?" '^Nol nothing. Do you wish to retract?" '^ No, Lord, but how caii I do this? I am afraid I shall fail." " Can you not trust me ? " " Thou knowest, only keep me ; Lord, I do trust thee." Immediately the Comforter said, ^'My grace is sufficient for thee " (2 Cor. 12 : 9). How soon He began to take of the things of Christ and show them unto me ! (John 16 : 14).

I now realized I was sealed for God (2 Cor. 1: 22; Eph. 4: 30) ; set apart for Himself, and livmg by the moment, began to look at the right of things and not to their relation to personal interests. I could no longer live over the past or look into the future, for in so doing I should fail to meet God, as He would come into the present moment ; the mission of that moment would be lost and His pleasure not done in me as in Heaven. I must live earnestly and act promptly in the ever-recurring no2u. Madam Guyon says, *^ Living l)y the moment is the secret of holy living."

Christ Jesus was now indeed the chiefest among ten thousand and the one altogether lovely (Cant, 5: 10, 16).

I no longer questioned whether these things were so. I knew whom I believed and found Him a satisfying portion. He freely bestows the wisdom, power and guidance that every son and daughter of Adam needs.

He who formed the plan of our lives can be the only true guide therein, and He is with us moment by moment, to develop us according to that plan. Co-operating with Him, our lives shall be a success.

Oh, ye who linger, come to the fountain opened ; accept the cleansing offered, and, walking in the Light given, you will know the peace that passeth understanding.

Having entered into covenant to do all the Lord's pleasure as it might be made known to me, I v/as in the open way and He would lead and supply all needful grace. I believed, and have seen the glory of G-od (John 11 : 40).

I would say to any who may be seeking the way of life, make a full surrender of self and all you have to God. Covenant to be ohediejit to Him in all things ; trust Him to keep you in a spirit of obedience, and moment by moment walk in the light of the moment. He will in His own time and way fill you with the Holy Ghost. His time and His way may not be as you may choose, and His voice may seem sharp and piercing, even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit (Heb. 4: 12), yet in entire abandonment continue to wait upon and trust Him, and it shall come to pass that at evening-time it shall be light (Zech. 14: 7).

Let us look at Christ's example.

He laid aside His glory to come down, doioyi to meet us. He came not seeking position or worldly honors, but as a servant to minister, hut it was not appreciated. He was even reviled for so doing. We are to go forth in service, giving our powers, "hoping for nothing again " (Luke 6: 35). What did He not suffer for the Truth's sake ! He asks, " What could have been done more to My vineyard, that I have not done in it ? " (Isa. 5 : 4). Yet He was despised and rejected of men. "It is enough for the disciple that he be as his Master" (Matt. 10: 25). His reputation was gone. " He hath a devil and is mad" (John 10: 20), but was His power weakened ? Was it not thus that Grod within Him had the more perfect control ? " Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit," saith the Lord (Zech. 4: 6). Is it not by walking in the Spirit, by losing sight of all but Him, that the same power works in and through us ? " I came not to do Mine oion loill, hut the will of Him that sent Jfe" (John 6 : 38). Here is our teaching : He marks the way, and if in following our Leader the wisdom that we have called our own has to be laid aside, shall we grieve or question ? If we would save our lives we shall certainly lose them, but if we are willing to lose them for His dear sake, we shall save them everlastingly (John 12: 25). ISTot only shall Ave save them, but, abiding in the Vine, we shall have fruitage (John 15: 5). Let us enter all the states of our Lord and gladly die the death, and we shall ere long come forth into full resurrection Hfe and glory; and this life andglory I would not put far oif, but daily making the most of the exercises given in the Spirit, we shall ere long apprehend all that is brought to us in Christ, "not unclothed, but clothed upon," of Him who brought life and immortality to light (2 Cor. 5 : 4).

John G.Whittier says of truly devout souls: " The bent and stress of their testimony is the same, whether written in this or a past century, by Catholics or Quakers ; self-renunciation — reconcilement to the Divine Will, through simple failh in the Divine goodness, and the love of it which must needs follow its recognition — the life of Christ made our own by self-denial and sacrifice, and the fellowship of His sufferings for the good of others — the indwelling Spirit leading into all truth, and the Divine Word nigh us even in our hearts.

They have little to do with creeds, or schemes of Doctrine, or the partial and inadequate plans of salvation invented by human speculation and ascribed to Him who — it is sufficient to know — is able to save to the uttermost all who trust in Him. They insist upon simple faith and holiness of life rather than rituals or modes of worship.

They leave the merely formal ceremonials and temporal part of religion to take care of itself, and earnestly seek for the substantial, the necessary and the 'permanent.''^

Holiness at that day was at a low ebb in all the churches, so that wherever I went the chilling monosyllable or sharp retort were too often given. Trying as this was, I now praise Grod for it. I was thus driven to God and enabled to live more recollected in Him, and many a rich lesson of grace I received. The valley of Achor became a door of hope and there I learned to know the Lord more perfectly (Hosea 2: 14-20). I needed this discipline ; love and gratitude always well up in my heart as I regard His faithfulness in chastening me. Many timid, hesitating ones give themselves out in desires for a holy life and yet are not willing to pay the cost, not realizing that experience in overcoming difficulties and seeming obstacles is what gives the holy daring, Christian fortitude and patience needful in the Christian Warfare.