The Christian mother

Dedication

To her Christian sisters, placed, like herself, in the responsible position of a Mother in the Israel of God, this humble work is affectionately offered, by one who, having been called from earliest womanhood to the care and instruction of little ones, and being also surrounded with a large family of her own, has deeply felt the need of the guiding councils and cheering promises so fully vouchsafed in the good Word of God.

Section I. — Self-Consecration, ... 9 II.— Duty of a Wife, - 47

III. — Household Cares, - - - - 71

IV —Birth and Baptism of Children, - 107

V. — Religious Training of Children, - 133

VI.— Seasons of Peril and Trial, - - 233

VII. — Bereavement, ... - 255

SECTION I.

Self-Consecration.

1 Wrestle, my soul, and strive, and pray, Thyself to this true love to raise ;

That thus thou may'st from day to day Bring forth new fruit to His great praise."

I. 44 Behold the handmaid of the Lord."

" Ye are not your own, for ye are bought with a price."

"As for me, and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Luke, i. 38. I. Cor. vi. 19, 20. Josh. xxiv. 15.

Behold the handmaid of the Lord 1 This utterance of the holiest of mothers breathes the very spirit of perfect self-devotion with which we each should aim to regard our life, with its duties, its hopes, its cares, and its trials.

As for me and mine, we will serve the Lord. Such should be our earnest purpose ; and our motive, this : the constraining love of Christ ; the remembrance that we are " not our own."

Therefore, fervently and continually, let the solemn vow of self-dedication be renewed. " Here we offer and present unto Thee, Lord, ourselves, our souls and bodies, to be a reasonable, holy, and living sacrifice unto Thee ! "

"Ye cannot serve the Lord, for He is an holy God." "Abide in Me; . . . without Me ye can do nothing." "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,

for it is God that worketh in you, both to will and to do of

His good pleasure."

Josh. xxiv. 19. John, xv. 4, 5. Phil. ii. 12, 13.

Amid the glow of fervent feeling with which every Christian will look forward to a life of active labor for Christ, and with which Christian parents, also, must regard the young lives given into their hands, to be influenced, guided, and consecrated, together with their own, to that blessed service, is there not ever danger lest we lose sight of or obscure the truth, that our wisdom, our righteousness, our san education, our redemption, and that of the souls "bound up" with ours, is in Christ alone ? Our life can only be well- pleasing unto God as it is " hid with Christ " ; it is only as living branches of the True Vine that we can bring forth acceptable fruit.

Let us take heed, then, that we abide in Him, by an humble, earnest faith, and that we seek, by all and every means of grace which Himself has appointed, that He abide in us. For, apart from Him, we can do nothing.

m.

" We are created in Christ Jesns unto good works, which God hath before ordained, that we should walk in them."

" I have chosen you and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit."

" Let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God."

Eph. ii. 10. John, xv. 16. /. Cor. vii. 24.

We firmly believe in that all-ruling Providence which disposes the mighty spheres in their orbits, and numbers also the hairs of our heads. We trust that we are members in particular of the body of Him who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, that we should bring forth abundantly the fruit of good works, to the glory of God our Father.

How, then, can we fail to believe, and to derive comfort from the belief, that our lot in life — the station in which we find ourselves placed — is that in which we can best adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour ; that the work " which lies nearest us," which our hand findeth to do, is that, by the faithful performance of which, we can most effectually serve and glorify the Lord.

" Thou cam'st not to thy place by accident, It is the very place God meant for thee."

And this place was assigned to us — this our life-work was ordained — by One who perfectly knew our nature and our powers, our weaknesses and our needs, and it was ordained thus in infinite wisdom and mercy.

" How important," to use the language of a well-known writer, " is the truth we express in naming our work in this world our vocation, or our calling. What a calming, elevating, solemnizing view of the tasks which we find ourselves set in this world to do, this word would give us, if we did but realize it to the full.

" "We did not come to our work by accident ; we did not choose it for ourselves, but, under much which may wear the appearance of accident and self-choosing, came to it by God's leading and appointment." What a help is this thought to enable us justly to appreciate the dignity of our work. What an assistance in calming unsettled thoughts and desires. What a source of confidence, when we are tempted to

SELF-CONSECKATION. 13

lose heart, and to doubt whether we shall be able to carry through our work with any blessing or profit to ourselves or others. It is our calling ; and He who called us to it will fit us for it, and strengthen us in it."

IY.

" This is the will of God, even your sanctification." " Walk before Me, and be thou perfect." " WTiat doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God ? " I. Thess. iv. 3. Gen. xvii. 1. Hie. vi. 8.

We gather yet more clearly from these and kindred passages that it is possible for us, by Divine help, to attain to the highest state of holiness and acceptance with God, in that very condition of life to which we find ourselves called by His Providence. He who wills our sanctification, who bids us show forth in our daily life and conversation what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God, would surely not place us in any position in which it should be impossible for us thus to glorify Him.

Well was it said, by one of the early teachers of the Church, "The most perfect man is he who, in the midst of the charges, and cares, and 2 relations of life and home, yet attends upon the Lord without distraction." Never, then, let us suffer ourselves to imagine that in any other situation we could render our God more acceptable service, or could better work out our own salvation.

"We need not "bid for cloistered cell, Our neighbor, or our work farewell, Nor strive to wind ourselves too high For sinful man beneath the sky.

" The trivial round, the common task, Would furnish all we ought to ask — Room to deny ourselves— a road To bring us daily nearer God."

" Your life is hid with Christ in God." "Pray without ceasing."

" Continue in prayer, and watch in the same with thanksgiving."

Col. iii. 3. 7". Thess. v. 17. Col. iv. 2.

We need these sacred words, to remind us again and again of our only source of life and strength. Most true it is that God hath called us to serve Him in the daily duties of our lot, yet no less true that it is impossible for us thus to please Him unless we wait on our God continually, and thus renew our strength.

And the more busy our life, the more pressing our employments ; the more absorbing our anxieties, the greater need is there that we hold fast our precious privileges of devotion.

" Why, therefore, should we do ourselves this wrong, Or others, that we are not always strong ? That we are ever overborne by care, That we should ever dull and heartless be, Anxious or troubled, when with us is prayer : And joy, and strength, and comfort are with Thee ? "

" The life of our Lord," writes a divine, " exhibits the most perfect example of constant employments. Hardly any man's life was ever yet so broken in upon, and taken from him, by labor and care, and the importunity of others, as His ; and yet He is to us the most perfect example of devotion.

" That which we plead as excuse was the very cause why He went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. In which He teaches us that whatever else we forego, we may not forego our prayers ; whatever else is at our will to give up, this is not ; however necessary we may think other things, this is the thing needful above all."

VI.

" Our conversation is in heaven."

"I have set the Lord always "before me: because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved." " Enoch walked with God."

Phil. iii. 20. Ps. xvi. 8. Gen. v. 23.

These words, and many passages of like spirit, imply that it is not enough that at stated seasons, in our morning and evening devotions, at the table of the Lord, and in His house of prayer, we seek His face, but we are to walk with God, to have our fellowship with Him, continuing instant in prayer.

Perhaps this seems to us a hard saying. "We may find it difficult to reconcile the thought of our daily, hourly routine with that of an abiding consciousness of God's presence — of keeping up upon the heart-altar the perpetual fire.

But to take a more familiar view of the matter. If we have a near and dear earthly friend abiding with us — tarrying beneath our roof— although we must still move on in the unvarying round of urgent duties, yet, in how many ways, by so arranging our occupations as to secure as much as possible of converse with the loved one, and even in our busiest hours, by a look, a smile, a few affectionate words in passing, do we evince our loving interest, our delight in, and appreciation of, that friend's society.

Think thus of the " Friend above all others," of whom, in our hearts, we must say,

"I need Thy presence every passing hour/'

Depending upon His constant care, knowing that in Him we live, and move, and have our being, conscious that He is " about our path and about our bed," shall we not lift up our hearts to Him continually, in loving recognition of His presence ? Shall we not esteem it a most gracious privilege that we may thus, in heart, commune with Him at all times ? That, by the heavenward thought, when our hands are occupied with labor, by the prayerful ejaculation at the moment of temptation and disturbance, by the low-breathed hymn which lulls an infant to repose, we may offer homage to our God and King — an homage acceptable unto Him as that which arises from the secluded oratory or the vaulted temple. 2* vn.

"Whatsoever ye do, in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus."

" Ye serve the Lord Christ.' '

"As the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart."

Col. iii. 17. Col. iii. 24. Eph. vi. 6.

How truly inspiring are these words, throwing, as they do, a ray of heavenly brightness upon the most obscure, the most dreary or toilsome post occupied by a servant of Christ !

"Whatever our hand findeth to do, in the way of duty, we may do it in the name of the Lord — we may do it as a service unto Him.

If we incline to ask how we may dare regard our petty employment of the hour as the Lord's work, let us consider how the providence of God extends to the smallest concerns of His creatures.

He who paused beside the child whom His almighty word had recalled to life, to command that something be given her to eat ; He who clothes the grass of the field with beauty, and numbers the hairs of our heads, is not unobservant of those engaged in the lowlier duties of life, nor unmindful whether these be fulfilled in the grovelling spirit of the world, or in His name, and to His glory.

VIII.

"If, therefore, thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light."

"No servant can serve two masters.. ye cannot serve God and Mammon."

" This one thing I do."

Matt, vi, 22. Luke, xvi. 13. Phil. iii. 13.

" My yoke is easy," saith the Master. " Great peace have they," declares the Psalmist, u who love Thy law."

How is it, then, that we do so fail of realizing this peace ? that we are so often perplexed and anxious ? that we are chafed by the yoke and burden so gently laid upon us ? Have we not the key to our difficulty in the texts just quoted ?

Let us examine ourselves whether we be swayed, in our intercourse with society, by the rule of fashion ; by the dictates of worldly prudence in the management of our affairs; by the impulses of natural feeling in our maternal duties ; or, by self-indulgence, the love of the praise of men, or the claims of an earthly idol. If either of these, or each in turn, become our most powerful motive, causing us to swerve from our one single purpose, the " one thing " which we profess to do, must we not expect dimness instead of light, confusion instead of the promised peace ?

" God crowneth no divided heart, Oh, hallow to Him all thy life I "

The " closer our walk" with God, the " purer the light " which will illumine our way. The more steadfast our devotion to Christ, the more perfect peace shall we enjoy. The purer our aim to live to His service, the more clear and free from perplexities will our path become. Pray we, then, most earnestly, for grace to cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself, and to bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

IX.

"Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do ? "

"As the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress, so our eyes wait upon the Lord our God. 1 '

" Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my soul unto Thee ! "

Acts^ ix. 6. Ps. exxiii. 2. Ps. cxliii. 8.

"Leave God to order all thy ways, And trust in Him, whate'er betide."

We have chosen God as our Master ; we have given ourselves up to serve Him in the way that He shall appoint ; we desire that His will may be done in us, that He may be glorified in us — then have we done our part — the ordering of our work is His. We have no call for anxiety as to the result, nor need we be disturbed and harassed by seeming interruptions and hindrances, for these are but Providential manifestations of His will concerning us. "We work not for ourselves, but for the Master, who sees the whole vast field and appoints each servant, hour by hour, his part in the accomplishment of His mighty purposes. The work is His, and surely our short-sighted wisdom cannot judge of the best manner of performing it.

As then, a well-trained servant accepts the duties hourly allotted to him, not murmuring, although his labors in one direction be interrupted by some new expression of his lord's will ; not venturing to question orders and arrangements, the purpose of which may yet be beyond his comprehension ; concerning himself only in the faithful performance of each task assigned to him ; so let us serve our Lord !

" I am Thy servant, give me understanding.'"

" The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost. ... He shall

teach you all things."

" The meek will He guide in judgment, and the meek will

He teach His way."

Ps. cxix. 125. John, xiv. 26. Ps. xxv. 9.

But, it may be said, the way of duty is not always clearly apparent ; often it is hard to decide what is right and best to do, under existing circumstances ; often we are drawn hither and thither by what seem to us duties. How are we then to judge, or, having judged and acted, how shall we know that we are doing the will of God — that which is pleasing in His sight ?

In reply, let us ask, Do we believe in the Holy Ghost ? And was it not expressly said by the Master, " He will guide you " ?

Having, then, first faithfully examined our hearts, whether we do humbly seek to know, and supremely desire to do, the Lord's will, let us cast our care upon Him, beseeching Him that He w T ill " grant us by His good Spirit to have a right judgment in all things ; " that He will be to us " a Spirit of counsel in all difficulties, and direction in all doubts, a Spirit of wisdom, and conduct, and discretion ; " " that we may both perceive and know what things we ought to do, and also may have grace and power faithfully to perform the same."

Shall we not then believe that He will thus guide us ? That u the steps " which we take, thus trusting in His promised grace, are " ordered by the Lord " ?

XI.

" Go thou thy way until the end be.' 1

u I will bring the blind by a way that they know not ; I will lead them in paths that they have not known ; I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them. 1 '

" Commit thy way unto the Lord : trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass."

Dan. xiii. 13. Isa. xlii. 16. Ps. xxxvii. 5.

When we are conscious of having thus prayerfully sought for guidance, in any emergency or difficulty, coming also to the light of God's Word, and acting then according to our sense of duty, we are not to vex ourselves with lamenting the decision, or action, however ill-judged it may appear from the results. We cannot see all the results ; and we are to trust all with Him whom we have humbly endeavored to serve, and comfort ourselves with the knowledge that He is able to "make all things work together for good."

But, in thus asking Divine light upon the path of duty, we are not to expect too much, to seek to look too far forward upon the dim uncertain road.

It may be that but one step — the duty of one moment shall be apparent, as when, by the sea, the Israelites were commanded to go forward.

Let us obediently take that step ; and, watching, we shall see the next, and the next revealed, marked by the footprints, and cheered by the call of Him who, when He putteth forth His own sheep, goeth before, and thus leadeth them, though by a way which they know not, unto their eternal rest.

XII.

"If the first fruits be holy, the lump is also holy, and

if the root be holy, so are the branches."

" Take heed unto thyself, and to the doctrine."

"Thou shalt keep therefore His statutes, that it may go

well with thee, and with thy children after thee."

Bom. xi. 16. I. Tim. iv. 16. Deut. iv. 40.

Vast as is the importance of this subject of self-consecration, considered with reference to each human soul, however isolated, how greatly does it seem to be enhanced, when we reflect upon the atmosphere of young life which surrounds us who are parents, pressing in upon us as the plastic clay to the seal, and as surely receiving the impress of our character and actions.

Let the deep, yearning solicitude for our precious offspring, of which our hearts are conscious, move us solemnly to consider the nature of this, our daily, hourly influence.

It will be in vain that we teach, warn, and exhort, if our children do not behold in us a living exemplification of those teachings. We must walk by the same rule which we hold up for their guidance ; we must oe ourselves — what we desire they may become.

That the parental relation was designed by God to be thus a powerful instrument in the salvation of the young, cannot be doubted. Children are imitative beings, and God has made them so. Happy are those parents who can say to their trusting little ones — " Be ye followers of us, as we also are of Christ" — " Walk so as ye have us for an example." 3

Going thus in the heavenward way, and guiding our children, we may rest in the confidence that they will follow in our steps, and that we shall be enabled with joy to exclaim — "Here am I, and the children Thou hast given me."

Failing of this close walk with God, and in proportion as we fail of it, we do fearfully mislead and peril the souls committed to our guidance.

XIII.

"What manner of persons ought ye to he in all holy conversation and godliness."

"Let your conversation he such as hecometh the Gospel of Christ."

"Be thou an example ... in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

II. Pet. iii. 11. Phil. i. 27. I. Tim. iv. 12.

The inspired command to children — " Obey your parents in the Lord " — " Honor thy father and mother " — will, if we reflect upon it, deepen our sense of the responsibility of our position as parents. As has been well said — " The Fifth Commandment indicates the Divine purpose that parents should stand between the child and God, and thus lead him heavenwards." The little one's first idea of his Heavenly Father's character will be colored by his experience of an earthly parent's care and love ; his first impressions of the teachings of Christ must be derived from the illustration of those principles afforded him by the parents' example.

The child is taught to look up to his parents, to honor and obey them, long before he can comprehend the idea of an unseen God. During this tender period, especially, the parent is to him the representative of God — of the Saviour.

If, then, the discipline he receives, the example which he unconsciously follows, the obedience exacted of him, are in accordance with the mind and will of God, as it gradually unfolds itself to his understanding — if he perceives that in obeying his parents he obeys the Lord — the effect must be most happy. But who shall answer for the consequences in the heart and life of the child, if in honoring his parents, he has learned to dishonor God.

XIY.

" The child is not ; and I, whither shall I go ? " " Also in thy skirts is found the blood of the souls of the poor innocents.'"

"Deliver me from blood-guiltiness, O God ! "

Gen. xxxvii. 30. Jer. ii. 34. Ps. li. 14.

Oh, parent, who in your devotion to your idolized children, deem no sacrifice too great, no toils too severe which may secure their advancement and happiness, pause and ponder the path of your feet, in which they are too surely following, and see to it, that in the end you be not found "verily guilty" of the souls of those dearer to you than your own life.

What misery is in this thought. Yet how should it come home to each one of us who is not consciously striving to lead the life of a child of God.

For, as saith the holy Bishop Taylor — "Between parents and their children there is so great a society of nature and of manners, of blessing and cursing, that an evil parent cannot perish in a single death.

" And," he continues, " holy parents never eat their meal of blessing alone, but they make the room shine like the fire of a holy sacrifice ; and a father's or a mother's piety makes all the house festival and full of joy, from generation to generation."

XV.

" Ahaziah walked in the way of his mother." "As is the mother, so is her daughter." " Is it well with thee ? Is it well with thy husband ? Is it well with the child ? "

I. Kings, xxii. 52. Ezelc. xvi. 44. II Kings, iv. 26.

We have spoken, hitherto, of parental influence in terms which might apply equally to either parent ; we have now to make a closer application of this subject to ourselves as mothers.

Who can doubt that the moulding of the child's character, in the majortiy of instances, is chiefly the work of the mother ? It is, indeed, most desirable that the influence of both parents should be in unison, and that their united example should be the guide of their children's tender years. And we may be able to recall many instances in which the firm, consistent piety of an honored father has triumphed over the most pernicious example in the mother, in swaying the lives of children.

Yet, to be convinced that the maternal influence must be, in the generality of cases, the more potent, we have only to reflect that during the first, and the most impressible years of 3* infancy, the child is, almost exclusively, in the mother's hands. The avenues to that young and tender heart are in her keeping ; the seeds which are sown in its virgin soil are mostly of her planting, and, though they may be the seed of tares, such as the enemy would delight to implant, they will prove hard indeed to eradicate.

" Tell me about his mother," Napoleon was wont to say, in forming his judgment of a person's character — " The fate of a child is always the work of his mother."

Truly, a most sacred trust is ours — a responsibility which we can delegate to no other.

Then let us hold this trust for God — let us wield this power for Him.

In the words of another, let us " Come out of our closets to mould and fashion character for God. This is our appropriate work ; the task is too delicate and the responsibility too grave for any other voice or hand than that of a mother, consecrated by the power of true religion."

XVI.

" The unfeigned faith which is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and in thy mother Eunice." "None of us liveth to himself.'"

" For their sakes I sanctify Myself."

II. Tim. i. 5. Bom. xiv. 7. John, xvii. 19.

While verse after verse of Holy "Writ crowds upon our thoughts, bearing upon this solemn theme, it cannot be deemed amiss to dwell yet longer upon it; and with the texts just cited, we must give space to these earnest words of one who knows how to speak to the heart of a mother :

" You cannot be too deeply impressed with the thought that the Holy Spirit may be most surely expected to bless your children in connection with yourselves. Then be careful of yourselves. Keep yourselves pure ; keep yourselves patient ; keep yourselves calm, meek, gentle ; keep yourselves (may God help you to do so) in that state in which you wish your children to be.

" You have not failed to observe that mystery of your physical constitution, whereby anything in the least degree noxious in your diet imparts its deleterious influence to the natural food of your infant, and shows its effect so soon upon its delicate system. Hardly less susceptible are your children's minds. With but little less certainty do they imbibe an evil influence from whatever affects your spirit unfavorably. Then keep your hearts in a wholesome state. Guard yourselves from all evil tempers for your children's sake. Try to be, and pray to be, in spirit and behavior, what you would have them. It is most likely that they will be mainly what you are.

"I know how heavily this thought may oppress you, but cast the burden of it on God. Take comfort and courage from His offered help. He can fit you for your work. He will, if you truly desire it. What else can He be more willing to do for you ? "

XVII.

44 Behold, thou knowest His will and appro vest the things that are more excellent, . . . and art ... a teacher of babes: . . . thou, therefore, which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? through breaking the law dishonorest thou God ? "

41 They say and do not."

44 1 said, I will take heed unto my ways."

Bom. ii. 18-23. Matt, xxiii. 3. Ps. xxxix. 1.