Adrift and at anchor

Front matter

LI BRARY OF CONGRESS.

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

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Chapter I

My Boyhood — ^First Attempt at Navigation — Up Aloft — School Days —A "Confirmed" Sinner — Emigration to America — Carousal at New Orleans — ^Land sharks — Shipped — Havre de Grace — In the Hospital.

Thinking that the somewhat remarkable experiences of a sailor's life, both upon the sea and land, may be of interest and perhaps of profit, especially to those *' who go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters," I have attempted, in the following pages, to relate in a plain and simple manner some of the incidents and experiences of a brief but eventful career. ^^^

Born on the ocean's shore, near Westeryik, Sweden, in 1834, 1 had from childhood seen the noble ships riding the crested wave, and watched the hardy sailor as he proudly unfurled his white canyass to the breeze, and with tear-bedimmed eye cast backward a long, lingering look at those so dear to his heart, to whom he had said perhaps his last ** good-bye,'' as the white-winged vessel bore him away to distant lands and new adventures. It was not strange, therefore, that a sailor's life became my boyish ideal of happiness ; nor that, at the age of seven years, I was inspired with the ambition of sometime being the captain of a vessel and sailing around the world.

With the enthusiasm of an old whaler, I determined, young as I was, to fit out a craft at once, and take a short voyage.

Accordingly I procured two planks, and with the aid of a hammer and a few spikes succeeded in fastening them together. Then, obtaining a paddle, I took my seat upon the raft, and pushing off from the shore, was soon launched out upon the deep. Fortunately the sea was calm, and before I had got many fathoms from shore, the Yoice of my ever-watchful mother was ringing in my ear, calling me back. She had been observing my maritime movements, and did not approve of my mode of navigation ; so she gave me some good advice, and no doubt saved me from a watery grave.

Not many days after, as she was going by the shipping down the quay, how great was her surprise on looking up, to behold me at the main-mast head of one of the vessels, where I had climbed in my childish ambition to be a sailor. Of coui'se my mother was terribly alarmed at my perilous position, and almost fainted ; but recovering herself, she bade me, in a &m, yet gentle Toice, to come down. I obeyed, and reluctantly followed her home.

My boyhood was not remarkable, saye, perhaps, for a willfulness of disposition, and an exceedingly impulsive and iri-egular nature, which made me a somewhat troublesome subject of parental government. The Evil One had full possession of my heart, and led me on in the ways of sin and disobedience.

At the age of twelve, the conversion of my parents afforded an additional influence in favor of a good early training. Would that I had yielded to their kind entreaties and instructions ! My dear mother wept over and prayed long and fervently for me and with me, that I might realize my situation ; but all in vain.

My father sought, at considerable expense, to secure for me a good practical education. But, like the wild ass's colt, I burst through all restraint, and at the expiration of a few weeks, broke away from my school and teacher, who seemed to me a hard master. The religious instruction which I had receiyed at school had a tendency to counteract rather than increase my faith in what was really essential to my future welfare. But at that age, (fifteen years,) I did not think much on these important matters. After a few weeks had been idled away at home, my father one morning informed me that I must return to school. Everything being in readiness, I started again for scenes not at all agreeable to my taste.

Before my departure, however, my father had a long and earnest conversation with me in reference to my present state and future prospect for heaven. I was very far from being a Christian. I had sinned, and felt sorry, and wept. But my sorrow was not for my sins ; it was only because I had been caught in the act of committing them. As I had been brought up and instructed in the Lutheran faith, my father, supposing from apparent sorrow that I had truly repented, desired that I should receive " confirmation.'' This was granted, and I became a '* confirmed" — sinner. Yet the Scriptural lessons which by this early training were impressed upon my youthful mind have often been recalled by the Spirit of God to lead me in the right way. Indeed, I was not insensible to them at the time when I was formally received into the cliurcli; but eyil impulses, being by far the strongest, drove me onward. Inward reproofs, struggles, and resolves, were succeeded by recurring indulgence in sinful practices, until they were sweet to my taste.

At the age of eighteen I emigrated with jny parents to America, who settled at Chicago. Glad to arrive in a country as broad as my evil inclinations, I soon left home, and with two reckless wanderers in the paths of sin, strayed south to New Orleans.

Here I plunged into the society of the reckless and the vile, and under the besotting influence of intoxicating liquor fell a prey to the inhuman harpies who lie in wait to entrap the unwary, and if possible victimize the poor sailor.

After a few days of profligate carousal in the haunts of dissipation and vice, I awoke from my stupefaction to find myself at sea, shipped as " an able seaman/' on board an American vessel bound to Havre de Grace, France, by my boarding-master, who had of course -pocketed my advanced wages of forty dollars. This is a sample of the treatment which the inexperienced and besotted receive at the hands of these unprincipled children of the Devil.

Having been shipped as " an able seaman," I was expected to perform a seaman's duties ; and being entirely ignorant of those duties I looked for and received but little mercy or comfort on the voyage. I was the chief subject of discipline during the passage. At all times I seemed to be in the way, impeding the steps of captain, mates, and sailors, wherever they went. No one took enough interest to teach me my duties, and I grew discouraged, and tired of trying to learn; for when I did try to do the best I knew how, I would be told, with a kick and a blow, that what I did was all wrong. Under such austere treatment, I gave way to grief, and before we reached port I was taken seriously ill. On our arrival at Hayre, I was sent to the hospital, where I lay for three weeks, to suffer the loneliness and monotony of hospital life, among entire strangers, in a foreign land. Did my thoughts reyert to home and mother, to her good counsels and prayers ? Did I think of the prodigal, and form resolutions of amendment ? Ask those who haye been in like circumstances. But our ship being ready to sail, my hospital life came to an end, and, though still in poor health, I went on board, and weighing anchor, we steered our course for New York.

The thought of being *' homeward bound," and the prospect of *' a good spree " on our arriyal, filled me with cheer. True, I thought sometimes, also, of returning to my parents, and forme.d resolutions to that efiect. But how frail are the strongest resolutions of the slaves of Rum and Rum's minions ! Haying at that age little ability to read character, I was unfortunate in the choice of my associates, and was often, by those who were older or more experienced than myself, led to do things at which, uninfluenced, I should haye reyolted.

Eyery sailor has his particular friend, and I had mine, — a shipmate haying large experience in the yices and dissipations of New York life. And I regret to say that I was highly pleased at haying a constant companion with tastes and dispositions so much like my own.

Chapter II

Arrival at New York — Sailors' Boarding House — ^Driiik, Drink, Drunk — A "Whisky Speech — A ' Wee Drop ' More — New York by Gas-Light — The Dens of "Water Street — Taken to the Hospital — Another Carousal — Cruise on the Coast — On the Sound — ^Voyage to Eichmond — A Hard Crew — Homesick — Serious Keflections.

On our arriyal at New York, after a 'voyage of thirty-five days' duration, we were all paid off", and directed by an evillooking, pock-marked *' runner," in the employ of the owners, to a sailors' boarding-house. Here the boarding-master extended a general invitation for **all lads" to ** come up and take a drink." This we all did with the greatest alacrity, as we did also of the proposal immediately after to '*tip one more" of the same.

Drink followed drink, and drunk came

18 A Sailor's Kxperience,

at last. Under its fiery influence I was emboldened to make a speech ! I spoke of the effect of whisky, its delightful influence upon the sailor, the bright thoughts it inspired; and with zealous energy I urged those about me never to refuse a 'well-filled cup/ I had an audience as attentiye as poor rum could let them be, and was applauded as heartily at the close of my insane remarks as was ever any political speaker. But from the height of my exhilaration, I sank suddenly into a state of stupefaction,^a mental and physical imbecile of rum ; and the great orator of the day was carried insensible to his room.

Evening came, and George C — , my friend and shipmate, awoke me in time for supper. On getting up I felt most miserably, and resolved to drink no more liquor that night. But some of the " boys " who heard my complaints insisted on my taking ' a taste ' to * brace me up/

"Come," said George, "take a wee drop o' gin, Yulgarly called * cocktail,' an' we'll go an' see the sights o' New York this ere evenin'."

What George said I generally obeyed, for he was my chosen leader, and under his direction and with his companionship I could haye been influenced to do almost anything.

It pains me to look back, and take a Christian yiew of those unhappy days ; but God, in his great mercy, I trust has long since blotted out the dark sins of those eyil times.

'Harry Hill' and 'Sandy Spencer' were at this time, I think, unknown characters either in the annals of crime or local history ; and ' the wickedest man in New York' had not yet become notorious in wickedness. But perhaps in my yisits to the vile dens of New York I found men equally as bad, if not worse.

On one occasion, sauntering down Water Street with my friend George, stopping here and there, as fancy prompted, to enjoy the society of the depraved and lewd women who lounged in filthy bar-rooms and grog-shops, I was seized with a kind of faintness, and for a short time was completely deranged. The miserable rum and gin had nearly consummated their work. A few more potations of the poisonous compound would no doubt have deprived me of life. But having a powerful constitution and strong nerve, I recovered in a few moments sufficiently to ask to be conveyed to the hospital. I was taken charge of by some benevolent persons, and sent to the Seamen's Hospital on Staten Island. My diagnosis indicated a bilious disorder, with which I was confined to my bed for six weeks, at the end of which time I returned to New York and stopped at a boarding-house, the proprietor of which was a good Christian man. But not wishing to be under Christian influence, much less to be admonished of the importance and obligations of religion, I once more gave way to drink, and continued in a course of disgraceful revelry until my means were exhausted.

After two weeks' carousal, I shipped on board a schooner, and sailed on the coast for two months ; after which I returned to New York, and resorted to my old scenes of pleasure. The first thing was drink and then another carouse ; and such, dear reader, is the miserable life of many a noble-hearted man, who is an enemy to no one so much as to himself.

I remained in the city three weeks, keeping meanwhile a yigilant watch for a chance to ship, and at length had an opportunity to make a trip to Fall River on a Sound steamer. I accepted the offer, and on our return to New York was paid off and discharged.

I had lost my friend George, he haying shipped for some European port while I was up the Sound, and was much disappointed at not meeting him, for I had now no intimate friend to talk and drink with. As I was alone, and in a comparatively sober state, I felt sad, gloomy, and homesick ; thought of father, mother, brothers and sisters, and wondered jf they knew my whereabouts; reflected on my own

A Sailor's Experieiice, 23

depravity and reckless life, and felt almost constrained to do better, for I knew of the earnest desires of friends at home for my welfare, and that prayers were daily ascending to Heaven for my deliverance. But my mind was in that morbid and excited condition produced by liquor, in which I too often formed resolutions and made vows only to be broken as before by resistless appetite.

While in this desponding mood, I made the acquaintance of Jack H — , a mate on board a packet-ship running between New York and Richmond, Va. During our friendly intercourse I applied for a seaman's berth on board his ship, which he kindly gave me. The day following, having loaded our craft, we hauled out into the stream and were shortly favored with a stiff breeze which bore us rapidly down the riyer, and out on the broad Atlantic. I felt happy. I had drank no liquor for seyeral days, and enjoyed a better appetite than I had for a long time. In a few hours we were out of sight of laud, but an unfavorable breeze impeded our progress. As I was sitting foward on the vessel's railing, meditating on my far-off home, —thinking perhaps I might not live to see it again,— I began to realize what a sweet thing it is to be blessed with powers of mind and memory, that one can commune with his own spirit while thinking of days

gone by.

While in this mournful reverie, my icy heart was almost melted with sorrow, —my thoughts of vice and recklessness had for the time vanished, and I was thinking of better things. Was it the Spirit of God knocking at the door of a rebellious heart, or was it the Evil One tantalizing me with the prospect of joys w^hich I was never to taste ? No doubt it was the Holy Spirit striving for an entrance. But my heart was yet too cold and unfeeling, and entrance was denied.

We had not the most amiable set of men in the world for a crew. The severest discipline was necessary to preserve good order on board, as most of the seamen were New York ruffians, — uneducated and vicious,— whose aspirations soared no higher than the prize-ring or cock-pit ; who gloried in robbing or pillage, and who would sacrifice the last thread of clothing for a glass of grog, — -these men were my associates, whom I did not blush to recognize as friends. With such a reckless and bloodthirsty crew, a bold privateer would have met with very little trouble in destroying numbers of the ocean's merchantmen. — Arriying at Richmond, my thirst for liquor was strong as oyer, and soon I was under its fiery influence. The cargo of our yessel was discharged, and shortly reloading we sailed again for New York.

Chapter III

Murmurs of Mutiny—In Liquor — Insult — Insubordination — ^Beaten — In Irons — Eelease — In Port — Discharged — A Bar-Eoom Scene — Drunk.

Three days from port, and whispers of mutiny were heard now and then among the ruffianly crew, until at length they reached the captain's ear. Having provided myself with a flask of rum while on shore, I was still in a drunken condition ; and on hearing of this the captain sent the first mate to summon me to his cabin. I was lying in my bunk nearly asleep, when I was aroused by a curse and severe kick from that officer, who ordered me to get up and go to the captain's quarters.

I was about to obey his insolent command, when he applied to me a filthy epithet, insulting both to me and my family antecedents, which he had no sooner uttered than I gave him a blow between the eyes, suflGlcient to demonstrate to him that 1 did not appreciate that style of language.

My visionary thoughts of the future were quickly dispelled : for I was set upon by the mate and a few subordinates, and nearly beaten to death. As I was suspected of being the ring-leader of the proposed mutiny, I had no chance to say a word in my defence. The captain threatened to hang me at the yard-arm, while the mate threatened to shoot me. "What are all these threats for ?''I inquired of myself.

I concluded that it was because I had struck the mate for his insulting language to me, for I was totally ignorant of any intention of mutiny on the part of the crew. I was however placed in irons and kept confined until we were within a few hours of New York, when the captain came to me and said : —

'' Esping, I believe you are innocent as regards your intention to incite mutiny on board ; nevertheless, you committed a crime in striking our second officer. If you will promise now to deport yourself in a becoming manner during the remainder of the passage, I will release you. But if you act contrary I will hand you over to the authorities on our arrival in port."

I told him my story, and informed him of the filthy and insulting provocation of the mate. He eyed me for a moment, then taking the key from his pocket, unlocked my hand-cuffs and bade me go to the forecastle, which I did with a light heart.

Nothing more occurred of a disagreeable nature during the remainder of our passage. We arrived in New York the next morning. It took two days to unload our cargo, after which I received my wages and a discharge from the captain, which I accepted with a low bow and a very polite ' Thank you sir,' which seemed to excite the ire of of that individual, on observing which I hastily left the ship. With what money I had in my possession, I was enabled to retire in good order, as they say in military parlance, to the boarding-house.

It is unnecessary to say that I had a hearty reception. Napoleon himself could hardly have been more welcome. I looked around the room, and deliberately viewed each individual present. Some faces were familiar ; and others would have been only for the ravages of time and dissipation.

Many were engaged in low, disgusting conversation, some were smoking, others drinking, aod quite a number were having a general brawl. Casting a glance at the bar, it appeared to me that it had passed a horrid night ; tumblers were unwashed, bottles tipped on their sides, matches strewn carelessly upon the counter and floor ; spitoons turned over, and quantities of tobacco-quids and cigar-stumps scattered all around, creating an odor which was fairly sickening. I had become so accustomed to such scenes that I viewed with apparent indifference the spectacle before me, and I considered it as a necessary evil which the sailor has a right to enjoy. — When will the poor sailor reflect upon the follies and sins of such places as this den of iniquity !

With the miseries and ruinous consequences of intemperance before my eyes.

32 A Sailor* s Experieiice.

in this dark and dingy bar-room, instead of retreating to the street, I advanced to the bar, and calling for a glass of gin, drank it with my usual gust and hilarity of spirit. It soon had its desired effect ; another and another draught followed, until at last, I became stupefied. I retired to bed, to sleep it off and awake to repeat the same thing the next day. For two weeks I continued my drinking revelry, until my means were gone, and I was compelled to go again to sea. In a day or two, when sober, I found a ship, and was quartered as an able seaman on board the Heros, belonging to a wealthy firm of cotton-dealers in New York, having agents in Savannah, to which latter place we were bound.